A/N: I've been away because of the realities of life. Here's a longer one.

Bella hadn't spoken to her mother for weeks, which wasn't unusual. But the sudden guilt she felt as she stared at her phone told her that this was different. She was running on precious human time that would inevitably end, and she knew that she should be prioritizing time with the humans that mattered in her life. She should see her mom. She should go fishing with her dad. She should do a lot of things.

Now, she watched how the candlelight in Jasper's library complimented the perfectly cut diamond on her finger as she waited for Renee to pick up. She didn't even want to think about how her mother would react to this new revelation. When her eyes lifted to Jasper, who was at his desk, she wondered what her mother would think of that new revelation.

"Bella," a knowing, teasing voice came from the speaker, "I was wondering when I'd hear from you, sweetie."

"Hey," she said, frowning at her ring. The usual opening banter of how are you—how is school—how is your dad ensued until Bella finally cut to the chase with, "I'd love to see you soon."

A pause. "Soon? I could do soon. How soon?"

"This weekend soon?"

There was another pause on the line. Bella could tell Renee was now snapping out of her auto-pilot mode. "Is everything okay?"

She glanced at Jasper, and he wasn't looking at her. "Yes." When the line fell silent again, she quickly amended, "Or we could do the weekend after. Any weekend, really."

"Don't any weekend me, Bella. You won't even call me when you're within two weeks of finals."

That reminded her. She should really check how she did on that biology midterm. "I'm reprioritizing."

"Really?" Renee drew out, seemingly impressed, yet a little hesitant. "Well, where are we meeting?"

"Are you willing to come to Washington? I hear Seattle's party scene is pretty daring."

"You hear, or you know? Didn't you head up there with—what was his name?"

She cringed. "Edward?"

"No, no. Um… dirty blonde. Killer jawline. Hazel eyes…"

Jasper's eyes flew up to her as the name came upon her. "Justin."

"Yes! That one. Do you still talk to him? I know you're still hung up on this Edward guy, but... anyway, let me talk to Phil, and I'll see about flights, okay? This weekend is a little tough, but I might be able to make the one after."

"Okay."

"Is it fine if we bring the whole crew?" She lowered her voice. "Then we can expense the trip to the club."

"That's fine, mom."

"And since we're there, maybe we can drop by the university. Check out greek row—I mean, uh, the libraries. I heard that there are so many libraries at the University of Washington."

Bella's face was probably pale by the time they hung up. The mention of any future at this point seemed to twist the knife deeper in her gut. No. There would be no midnight library stays, no sleazy flat parties with questionable jello-shots. Her university dreams wouldn't be fulfilled as a human.

She turned to Jasper, her voice small. "Do I get my emotional support vampire on this trip?"

Jasper tore a paper away from his desk, and glanced at the one beneath it. Before she could take a breath to plead further, he held up a hand—the usual gesture for her to be silent among the presence of beings she couldn't sense.

And then a moment later, the door swung open, and Alice danced in. Gleeful. "What trip, sweet Bella?"

It was mildly thrilling to know that Alice simply didn't know. "Seattle. Next weekend, probably."

"Well, I don't see why Jasper wouldn't come," she said, grinning noncommittally. "I think Carlisle would actually insist, especially if we're going up to Alaska."

Jasper merely flipped to a new piece of paper.

"Another hunting trip?" Bella ventured.

"Kind of." She shrugged, her fingers dancing along the spines of books on the shelf beside her. "Carlisle wants his mate back, and we're all going to retrieve her. It's all quite romantic, actually."

Bella tried her best to keep her face neutral. "I thought Esme needed time away."

"She's had enough time."

Jasper folded his hands on his desk. "The vote is in three weeks. When does Carlisle anticipate he'll make the trip to Italy?"

He was talking about that human pets legislation.

"After he gets his mate," Alice replied. "You know he won't leave unless Esme's safely home."

Blankly, Bella asked, "Will Carlisle vote yes?"

Alice's head snapped to her, and then Jasper. She was intrigued, perhaps, that Bella had any idea regarding the state of their court politics. "Maybe."

"As a Cullen," Bella continued, "that legislation doesn't seem like something he would accept or indulge in."

There was no hesitation, and no restraint, when Alice quipped, "Are you afraid he'll keep you around as a human pet for his son?"

"I don't think he would."

"Good girl. You understand that your gift will be infinitely more valuable to him than Edward's happiness." She came to her and smiled sweetly. "Or, in other words, you're going to die regardless if this amendment passes or not." Her eyes cut to Jasper, commanding. "Go with her."

Jasper sighed, tossing the paper down on his desk. "Next weekend is my report out. I meet Demetri in Montana."

"Demetri can wait," she crooned. "I'll have Carlisle draft a deferral."

Bella rested a hand on the edge of Jasper's desk. "Does Esme even want to come back?"

"Of course," Alice said. "She's nothing without Carlisle, and the Denalis will only put up with her for so long."

The Denali clan—the only other vegetarian clan in existence, and friend to the Cullens. Esme had been visiting them up in Alaska right before Edward had slipped that damned ring on her finger.

"Plus," Alice continued, "she missed your engagement. It would be very unlike Esme to not throw us a grand party. Perhaps she'll drag the Denalis down here, too. I've heard that they're dying to meet you."

"We should minimize the amount of vampires we place around Bella," Jasper advised. Vegetarian vampires, Bella added mentally, who were twice the trouble. "Especially without your gift, Alice."

"Carlisle might agree," she considered, but her eyes flashed knowingly. "But he also loves the attention. Either way, Jasper, you're responsible for her safety, as appointed by our dearest coven leader."

"Yours."

She rolled her eyes. "Coven leader, captor, jailer. They're all the same."

"And you think Aro's any different?"

Bella remained staring at the floor, anticipating Alice's response, which came delayed.

"Aro is the worst of them all." Her smile came back on, wicked. "But that also makes him the best."

Beneath the scrutiny in Jasper's gaze, there was amusement. "You'll crawl back to him eventually." He brushed a hand over the sheets on his desk, seemingly taking his time to smooth them out. "You always find a way."

Bella watched Jasper as he listened, his expression turning from that light indifference to concentration. The candlelight flickered gently around the room, and there was a rustle of paper as Jasper organized a neat stack at the corner of his desk. Finally, he focused on her, his tone low, and his words like bullets that fired rapidly. "I've been tracking her movements south. Her scent lingers at the border crossing into Oregon. It tells me that she frequents it. "

Bella took a quick second to realize he was talking about Alice, who had left the library merely minutes ago. "The Cullens run off like this all the time, right? They're barely in this house together unless Carlisle's around."

He shook his head, in thought. "She knows I can't follow. There's something off about her."

"I could have told you that."

But there was no humor in his expression. "Every time she comes back up, she's cleaner. Her essence disappears, and that tells me that she's washing up. Hiding a scent."

"Hiding that she's seeing someone?"

Jasper didn't say anything for a while as his gaze lingered on the door. "I meant what I said. Alice will always find her way back to Aro." He glanced at her. "She'll leave for the Denalis next week with the rest of the Cullens."

"This sounds like the perfect opportunity to snoop around her business. You said Oregon, right?"

"Oregon. Could be further south, but it doesn't matter." His eyes cut to her sharply. "I can't cross the border."

"Even with the Cullens gone? I wouldn't tell. No one would know."

"You would know, and I would know—and that's already too many."

Bella didn't understand. "You don't trust me?"

"It's not about trust. It's about Aro Volturi, who can put you on trial and sweep through every thought and memory. Even if I'm the only one who knows of a crime I've committed, that alone is enough to incriminate."

That sounded maddening. "You won't cross state lines because of the off-chance that you may be subjected to Aro's gift?"

"I've been serving for too damn long, Bella. I'm not serving a day more than what I've already been allotted. Not for anyone, and not for any reason."

Bella knew this. He was always diligently by the book because of it.

She considered their contract. "There's no law against conspiring against the coven you serve, is there?"

"A mating agreement breaks no laws," he stated carefully, his eyes darting to the book at the corner of his desk. The Vampiric Tome.

Jasper wouldn't have signed that contract otherwise, she knew. "I suppose it doesn't matter now. Esme could let it all slip to Edward, and…" She shook her head. "He'd tell Carlisle, and Carlisle would send you away."

"He might," he agreed quietly. "But Esme's going to run."

"What?"

"It's the smartest thing to do. She'll lead Carlisle on a chase, and leave the rest of the family to the Denalis."

"A chase? For what?"

Jasper glanced at his phone that was on the desk. "For her. A game between a mated pair. It gets her away from Edward for the time being. It distracts Carlisle enough to entice him. It buys her time to train."

Training her mind against Edward, he meant. "I don't understand how she couldn't learn to protect herself from him all these years."

"Why would she have to?"

"I don't know. She probably has some thoughts about Carlisle that Edward shouldn't hear."

He nodded. "Thoughts that would send Edward running. Those are the ones she needs to focus on."

Bella shifted on her feet, suddenly feeling restless. "Do you think she can do it?"

He eyed his phone again. "I've been in contact with her, and I've been advising her the best I can."

"You've been talking to Esme?"

"Strictly through text, because Alice has a very poor track record perceiving that sort of communication."

She felt an ache in her chest. "How is she?"

"Scared." He stood, pocketing his phone. "But if she can hold Carlisle off until he leaves for Italy, that will buy her even more time. I've been hinting that Carlisle should take Edward with him for the vote."

"Edward and politics?" Bella wrinkled her nose. "I can only imagine how pretentious he'd be."

"Inexperienced, which is why I recommended dragging him into the middle of it."

She shifted on her feet, her head tilted to the side. "What do you think about around him? What does Alice? How do you shield your thoughts?"

Jasper roamed the shelves and slid the Tome into an opening. "I can't speak for Alice, but endless court ramblings tend to disinterest Edward soon enough. Though, my initial strategy was blood. I thought he would get up and leave the moment I thought about feedings. Humans. But those thoughts only drew him in."

"Predictably," Bella muttered, slightly disgusted. "If Aro puts Edward on trial, surely he'd find a lot to charge him with. The exposure risk he poses has to be concerning for Carlisle."

"Yes, but Aro needs a basis for calling the trial. A witness, an accusation. But no one who wants a good political standing would take that risk. Carlisle's proximity to the kings grants him this immunity." His gaze unfocused, almost envious. "I don't think he's afraid of anything."

A week later, Edward pulled Bella into an awkward hug in front of the Cullen home. The rest of the family, save for Esme, stood behind him as he grabbed Bella's ring-clad hand and placed a little kiss beside the diamond. "You'll be safe."

Jasper was at the door just a few feet back, hands deep in his pockets. Bella wanted to turn back to him, but instead kept her gaze steady on her fiancé.

"I'll be great," she told him.

After brief goodbyes from the family, they all vanished into the forest, disappearing north.

When she turned around, Jasper was still staring at the trees, red eyes unfocused. When he finally looked at her, she knew they were out of hearing range.

"We could go now," she suggested conspiratorially, only partially joking. "A little Oregon trip. Just you, me, and whatever Alice is doing down there."

Jasper didn't say anything.

"Or I can go, and you would have to follow."

He scowled at that, turning away. "That's still conspiring. Ill-intentioned."

"You're telling me Aro Volturi is petty enough to meticulously read your intentions and punish you for it?"

"Aro Volturi can do whatever the hell he wants." He walked further into the house, and Bella trailed behind. "Even this discussion—if we were to act on that Oregon idea of yours—could be problematic."

It didn't make much sense. "You said it wasn't against the law to contract a mating bond, Jasper. But you're actively, intentionally, conspiring against Carlisle."

"It's different."

"Is it?"

"I'm not doing it to spite Carlisle. I'm not taking you away from his son to punish him." He put a finger up to his temple. "Aro will look in here and clearly see that. But if I cross the border, I'm violating my contract. Even if it's because I had to act as your guardian and follow you, if we explicitly plan to use the guardianship as the excuse, I can be charged. The intention matters."

"Hypothetically, if I were to cross over to Oregon, and not tell you anything…"

"This hypothetical is enough to plant it into my brain." He shook his head. "Don't do this, Bella. Don't play this game. I've been playing it for decades, and it is not worth it."

She crossed her arms. "So, if I have some evil plan, I should just not tell you. Is that it?"

"No," he said. "Just don't have evil plans."

She rolled her eyes. "Aro is a classic George Orwell-ian 1984 nightmare."

His lips twitched. "He'd laugh at that, and agree."

They were standing near the kitchen, partway into the living room. The quiet was comforting. Each second the Cullens added to their distance between them felt like relief.

"I failed my bio midterm," she announced, the admittance a little cathartic. "And I'm behind on my readings with the Tome."

His head turned to her. "I'd like you to remedy that by reading tonight."

"Why? Is Alice onto you about the training?"

"No. It just irks me how you haven't asked me once about your transformation."

She frowned. "Maybe I don't want to think about it."

"I want you to think about it. I want you to be prepared." He glanced over at the kitchen. "The fridge hasn't been stocked, if you plan to stay."

Would she stay? The immediate answer was yes. "It depends," she said. "Are you hungry?"

"Are you?"

It was almost five in the evening, and she had barely eaten breakfast. "I'm not ready for a feeding, if that was your question."

"It wasn't." He grabbed a set of keys from a drawer in the entryway. "Maybe you should come with me. I tend to over-purchase."

Bella had more than wanted to see Jasper in a regular grocery store, so this wasn't an opportunity she would throw away. Not five minutes later, they were both situated in one of the many cars in the driveway.

Before Jasper backed the car out, he pulled a little container out of his pocket, no bigger than a deck of cards. And in a blur of motion, it was gone. When Bella looked up at him from the passenger seat, his eyes were coal. Gone were the remnants of her own blood. Masked.

She had to do a double-take to understand what she was seeing. "Are those contacts?"

"Not the ones you're familiar with. These would be too thick for human wear."

The red eyes had been jarring initially, but Bella had gotten used to them. But now, their absence mildly bothered her. "Don't you have glasses? Sunglasses?"

"I'd much rather wear those," he said, backing the car down the driveway, and onto the street. "These are thick enough to be bothersome. But our contacts are becoming standard, and part of the protocol. I wouldn't be surprised if the kings drafted a silly little amendment for them." There was a small smirk on his lips. "But they won't. Not until they improve the technology."

Bella stared at him for a moment longer. "I don't like them."

"No?"

"No."

For one, she had never met any human with eyes that dark. And two, it gave him an aura of assimilation that was only reserved for the Cullens.

The drive to the store was quiet. Bella peered over at Jasper occasionally, sizing him up with his new look. Perhaps those eyes appeared dark brown in the correct light. Perhaps humans would be ignorant enough to disregard it and chalk it up to the lighting or something. Red would be harder to ignore.

"You could just pretend that you're wearing red contacts," she said as they pulled into the parking lot of the local grocery store.

"That might pass during Halloween." Jasper smiled at her. "Or in Seattle, where people are more progressive. But the idea here, Bella, is to ensure that we don't draw attention. Red eyes will draw attention—contacts or not."

"So these contacts were created by vampires?"

"Yes. Supplied directly from the kings, courtesy of their slew of scientists that have been experimenting with venom. They've managed to get this material to last more than just a few minutes over the years. It's good in theory…" He blinked slowly. "…but heavily flawed in execution." He looked at her, blinking a few more times. "You blur occasionally, and it feels like I have a heavy blanket pressing into my eyes."

"Regular, human-made contacts wouldn't last?"

"They would dissolve." He gestured at his eyes. "We have a trace amount of venom in our lacrimal glands."

Lacrimal… what? This was why she failed her biology midterm.

Jasper quickly added, "They're the glands that are responsible for tear production."

"So if you were to cry, you would cry out some venom?"

"We can't cry. A vampire's bodily structure is composed of the most efficient processes you could think of. When a human cries, it's due to the overfilling of those lacrimal glands." He reached over and brushed a thumb right beneath her eyebrow. "We aren't capable of overfilling; we always produce the bare minimum required to keep our eyes hydrated."

Bella examined him, as if she could see into the layers that made up his eyes. "You get hydration through venom?"

"And water. Extracted from blood. If we go without a feeding for too long, we can dry up. But that would require a very, very long time of restriction."

Amusement glittered in her eyes. "If I only just read the Tome, I would already know all of this by now."

"If only." He opened his door, and got out.

In the store, Bella still stared. The fluorescents seemed to brighten his eyes to an acceptable deep brown. But there was also something that tugged at her. Jasper not with blood red eyes, or the unnatural golden, but just... human. As they walked down the cereal aisle, Bella asked, "What color were your eyes?"

"Blue."

Of course, they were. "Unfair."

"Why?"

Bella crossed her arms, gaze loose on the boxes and boxes of cereal. A mother with a baby playing in the cart passed them by. "I bet you were still beautiful then."

"There was nothing beautiful about the mid-1800s. Not for humans, certainly. Constant death and disease," he said, and Bella remembered him talking about his father. His attention shifted to the cereal boxes around them, and he picked one up, skimming the back. "You would think blatantly listing out all of these chemicals would deter humans from ingesting such things."

"The instant gratification of sugar probably outweighs all reason."

He carefully placed the cereal back on the shelf. "Short-term pleasure for long-term consequences."

She lowered her voice as they walked over to the next aisle. "You know, if for some reason I got to stay human, I'd probably hate hanging out with you. I couldn't drink a milkshake without a lecture on nutrition."

He grinned. "Good thing you're not staying human. Would you like a milkshake, Bella? I insist."

She shrugged, noncommittal. "It wouldn't make for good blood."

They passed by a small section of wine, and Bella's steps faltered. She felt hands on her shoulders, and Jasper guided her away, saying, "Esme has plenty at the house." And this also wouldn't make for good blood.

Bella eventually took the lead, picking out fresh produce. Jasper carried the basket, and when she returned to him with a bag of apples, she noticed that he had found the cherries. She promptly had to put half of them back, because no normal human could single-handedly eat four whole bags before they went bad. Overconsumption, no matter how healthy the food group, was still unhealthy.

"You know, cherries boost your red blood cell count," he said, when Bella came back with a plastic bag of fresh fish from the deli.

"So does seafood. I've done my research."

When they arrived back at the Cullen home, Bella felt satisfied with the minimal amount of shopping they had done. Half a pound of salmon, some asparagus, and bags of various fruit, with cherries taking the lead in amount, thanks to Jasper.

Bella immediately took over the kitchen and began heating the oven and a skillet. As she prepared the meal, she came upon those boxes that Esme had once been opening. They were stacked at the bottom of her large pantry: boxes, and boxes of wine, waiting patiently to be taken out, stared at, and then put back in. A waste.

She picked out a two-year-old Chardonnay, which would pair well with the fish, and poured herself a glass, of which there were many in the overhanging shelves.

"Could you drink blood from a glass?" She asked, swirling, and aerating the wine.

Jasper had been lingering in the living room, his attention distantly on the bookshelves. "You could. You could drink anything from a glass."

"Okay, but would you?" And then, she joked, "Shall I siphon out some blood into a nice little stemmed glass for you? We could pretend to have dinner together."

"That would be Edward's role in your life." He pulled out a book, narrowing his eyes at it. "I'm not one for pretending."

It was probably one of the most attractive parts of his character, in comparison to the rest of the vampires she knew.

Within the next hour, she had a plate of pan-fried fish, and some deliciously baked asparagus. Half of that bottle of Chardonnay was gone as she finished up her last bite.

Bella moved onto the fruits they had gotten, and she had almost joked that the grapes in her drink were probably enough dessert. But there was something about the way Jasper watched her each time she reached for the glass that made her want to avoid discussing the wine altogether.

She had gotten through a few cherries before Jasper approached her at the kitchen counter. "When did you want that milkshake?"

Bella cupped her wine glass in both hands, then chose to hold by the stem instead. You shouldn't warm white wine with your palms. "I can skip it. You're tying yourself to me for eternity. The least I could do is keep my blood appetizing." With that, she popped another cherry into her mouth.

"I'd rather you consume sugar than poison."

She spit out the seed into a paper towel, and said nothing. She poured more into her glass only when he turned his back to her, appearing at the bookshelf once again.

The wine was dizzying, but she could hold her liquor. She always could, usually. The cherries, though, were making it a little hard to get through this particular bottle. An apple and wine paired, but the cherries were too sweet on their own. It turned the Chardonnay bitter on her tongue.

But she got through the bottle anyway, because it felt too good. She didn't realize she was chasing that numbness until it hit her. The alcohol settled into her body, and she felt the hypocrisy of it all. The healthy foods she was pursuing to keep her delectable were negated by the poison. But did she care? Not at the moment.

"I'm going to go read," she announced after downing the very last drops from her glass. She attempted to brush past Jasper as she headed for the stairs, but his hand closed on her arm.

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm perfectly functional." The contacts appeared to be partially dissolved, and the brighter red was peeking out from beneath. She leaned in to admire it. "When do you want to feed?"

"Let's give you some time to absorb the food. Your body needs time to rejuvenate given that this was your first real meal of the day."

She scowled. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Your beloved poison wouldn't impact you this quickly otherwise."

At that, Bella turned away from him, and ascended the stairs. Her feet took her up, and she made herself fight the haze as she focused solely on keeping one foot ahead of the other, stabilizing herself with the handrail. She entered Jasper's library and let out a big sigh at the faint smell of burned out candles, and the lovely, inviting scent of old books.

Her eyes immediately snapped to the big, daunting black book at one of the shelves. When she stood before it, Jasper was already there. He pulled it out for her, and then he was at this desk, with the book already open on top of it.

"Sit," he said.

Bella went forward, but didn't sit. Instead, she pulled out the chair for him. "Will you?"

"If I do, you won't read."

"I'll read a whole section."

"You won't." He sighed as he sunk down on his chair. A tug on her arm, and she fell down onto his lap, her side to the desk. He examined her profile, merely inches from her face. "You shouldn't do this to yourself."

There was some courage that fueled her enough to start, "It helps, the alcohol—"

"It does not."

She pursed her lips, then turned her attention to the book. She pulled it onto her lap, and tried to make herself focus.

There was something about teeth… no, she had already read that. She flipped a page to the new section. Skin. The first paragraph jumped into the myths surrounding sunlight. Puffing out a breath, she fought hard to care about it. It was especially hard to care when Jasper's hand was on her lower back, kneading lightly.

She got to the end of the same paragraph for the third time, the words flying in her brain, and refusing to land in the correct spots.

"What does it say, Bella?"

She closed her eyes when she felt his hand run up her arm. "Your skin glows in sunlight, and it's stupid."

"Not stupid. Science. It's about skin composition, and the full spectrum of light that the sun offers. Our molecules—"

Bella shushed him. "I've accepted that I'm failing biology. Please don't rub it in." She shoved the book back onto the desk. "I tried."

She turned her head fully toward him, and her heart fluttered at the closeness of his mouth to hers. With a ghost of a smile, she pressed one deep kiss onto his lips and relished those butterflies that took flight in her stomach. "There's something so perfect about this," she admitted softly. "And I'm so scared I'm going to lose it."

She kissed him again, and her hands found his face. She felt the heat in those jeans and the sweater, and she wished he would just take it all off. She wished he'd put her on that desk, and blank her mind that ached with fear and anxiety.

When she opened her lips for him, he paused.

"Why does it seem like you only want me when you're drunk, Isabella Swan?"

Beneath that teasing was something more. Something sad. Something disappointing. "You're wrong."

He kissed the corner of her mouth before leaning back. A watchful gaze. One that Bella avoided.

"Tell me you like some of it," she said, her voice small. "I'm flushed with poison." She ran a palm over her cheek, and down her neck. "Tell me you like this blush. How warm my skin is."

"I'll like you even without."

"Even when I'm cold, dead, and stagnant?"

He shifted forward, and planted a kiss on her neck, murmuring, "Different. Durable. Infinite."

Bella's fingers closed in his hair, pushing his lips onto her skin. Please don't stop, she begged silently. Please keep going.

A scrape of his teeth, and Bella's body was on alert, those numb nerves alive for one purpose only. Her leg brushed against his thigh as she lifted and turned to straddle him fully. When she looked at him then, his eyes were back to their normal red hue, and she loved them.

"Don't you need to feed?" Her breath was on his lips. "I recall you saying something about a femoral artery."

At that his thumb came around to her inner thigh, perhaps indicating that critical artery. "What about it?"

"That's my question as well."

Her hips moved on him slowly, and she savored the electricity that jolted through her body.

But when she looked at him, she saw that wariness in his expression, even as he shifted against her. Even as she felt him hardening beneath her.

"The consent blurs for me, Bella," he said. "I don't know how much of me you want when you're like this."

"You can't tell how much I want you?"

And then, they were moving. Automatically, her hands wrapped around his neck as he stood, holding onto her thighs as she was wrapped around him. He kept a human pace, perhaps to not disorient her further with the alcohol already in her system. The hallway was dark, but the curtains in the guest bedroom were drawn open, the large windows letting in the calm moonlight. He lowered her to the bed.

"What do you need to sleep?" He asked her.

"Sleep?" She rubbed at her eyes, relishing the cool, soft comforter beneath her. "You should feed." And maybe—just maybe fuck me after. Lord knows I need it.

He faded into the darkness, and then returned with a glass of water. He watched her drink all of it, and it was a sign that he wanted her sober. It was one of the many signs.

Finally, she cradled the glass in her palms, avoiding that reproachful gaze. In that quiet evening, she whispered, "I'm not that bad. I swear."

His eyes brows shifted together, as if he didn't quite believe her. But then he peeled the comforter back, and had her crawl under. "You told me that you think I don't feed enough from you."

When she didn't reply, he continued. "And you're right. But only because you drink more than you eat." A finger on her collarbone. "This is more prominent compared the first time you walked into my library." That finger trailed down and paused on her bicep. "You've lost fat, and muscle, and you're still losing. There will be a threshold that you will reach and then we can't do this anymore. There's a reason why you need to meet a certain weight to donate blood."

Her throat tightened. "I understand."

"I know you do."

She stared at the ceiling, suddenly feeling too sober for her liking. "I'm sorry."

Jasper only lifted back the comforter and joined her, letting Bella snuggle back against him. She scraped her hand against his, loving the feel of that grip on her hip. She shouldn't try anything, but it didn't mean she didn't want to. She yearned to turn back and kiss him. The bed was soft, the sheets were clean. They'd enjoy each other for however long they wished with the Cullens hundreds of miles away.

Her hand brushed his again, the drag of her ring sharp against his skin.

"Careful," he murmured. "You might cut me."

"Bullshit."

"If you actually did the reading, you would know that it isn't."

Her head turned to his. "Diamonds?" She brought up her hand, wiggling her fingers. The big diamond sparkled in that faint moonlight. "Diamonds and nuclear weapons. Your ultimate demise."

His lips were on her cheek, and then her temple, smoothing a hand down her hair. Quietly, thoughtfully, he agreed, "My ultimate demise."

A/N: This chapter: Alice's adventures, Esme's imminent return, and Jasper's disappointment in Bella's alcoholism.

A little taste for what's next:

Bella wondered what he thought of her—panting and splayed out like this for him. She wondered what he thought of the sounds from her mouth every time he curled that finger inside of her. She wondered if he was thinking at all.

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See you next time.