"You seem like you're doing better."

Bella looked up from her soup, her hand absently stirring it with her spoon.

"I think so," she replied. Charlie reached for a napkin to dab at this mouth.

It was a quiet evening at home.

The rain pattered endlessly on the roof. Had they moved onto spring showers? No, it was only March.

It was a miracle Bella recognized that. She couldn't tell you the day of the week anymore.

"Have you found someone to talk to? I've heard therapists were backed up for months."

She could lie, but she also couldn't. She had lied enough. "No, I haven't looked. Mom's coming up in a few weeks. It'll be good to get away."

"Seattle?"

Bella nodded. "You could come."

He chuckled goodheartedly. "And ruin Renee's weekend?"

"You'd save us from drinking our livers away."

Charlie smiled distantly, somberly. "I'm old. Your mother doesn't like to be reminded of age."

"Is that why she married a man almost a decade younger?"

He sighed. "Youth isn't forever, Bella. Before you know it, you'll be just like me. Falling asleep at nine, waking up with aches and pains in places you'd never think could hurt. And the snoring—Bella, the snoring runs in our family. The moment you hit forty—" He made a quick swiping motion. "—you're done. Your husband will beg for you to separate the beds. Guaranteed."

Forty.

Husband.

Charlie must have seen that weird look on her face. "Or partner—significant other. Sorry, marriage isn't a requirement anymore in this day and age."

Bella still stared down at her soup, maybe hoping the noodles would form some sort of pattern to give her the answers to all of her problems. "What would you do if you knew the day you were going to die?"

Her dad leaned back in his chair. "It's a little early for a quarter-life crisis, isn't it?" He took a moment to consider. "I'd go fishing."

"Fishing?"

"Yeah, not on your top-ten bucket list?"

"No." She laughed. "Why fishing? Why not travel, or quit your job, or—"

"Because I'd rather do something that I know I enjoy. It's peaceful. Predictable. Serene. You get a lot of self reflection out there on a little boat." Charlie slurped up the last drops of his bowl. "And you?"

She snorted. "I'd waste all my time worrying about that day. What will kill me. How I will die. All the potential loose ends I'd need to tie up."

"A true control freak." His spoon clanged in the bowl. "And the loose ends—why does it matter? You'd be dead."

She blinked the wetness away from her eyes. "You're a loose end, dad. That's like saying I shouldn't care about you."

"People die, Bella. You can't prepare for or predict death." He reached a hand across the table. "The only thing you can do is cherish and spend time with the people you care about. You never know when the last time you see them will be."

It was a week later that Edward came back. With pressed slacks, and a button-up, he didn't look like he'd been running for miles. There was a smile on his face, and daisies in his hands. Maybe Alice had given him that note about the lilies after all.

"Isabella Swan," he said as a way of greeting.

She smiled at him, the corners of her mouth tight, as if refusing the pleasantry. She stood at the threshold of the Cullen's front door. She had arrived early that morning for his return. Jasper had told her a majority of the family would be heading back today, and she didn't want Edward coming by to her house. She rarely trusted him around Charlie anymore.

Now, she could step aside and let him walk into his own home. Or, she could do better.

Launching herself at him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her head into his chest. She heard him laugh—a chuckle, as if for a little puppy who couldn't stop licking you.

"Finally, you're back," she mumbled against him.

She felt the petals of the daisies brush her arm as he hugged her back. "Alaska was empty without you."

She pulled back to look at him. "I've never been."

He leaned down and brushed her lips with his, and there was something different about the way he was looking at her. "I should leave more often."

"Cruel."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." He was still smiling, merely inches from her lips. "And you haven't been very fond of me, have you?"

Bella fought the swallow that wanted to ripple her throat. "What do you mean?"

"He means," came a voice that Bella dreaded to hear, "that you've been far too distant." Alice Cullen was a few steps behind Edward, hands clasped in front of her.

"No, I haven't been the perfect partner, either," Edward reasoned, brushing the back of his hand against Bella's cheek. "I apologize for that."

The apology meant nothing, but Bella let him lead her inside anyway. Alice followed close behind.

"What have you been doing?" Edward asked her. "Please tell me you've been going to class."

With a wince, Bella shook her head. "I've been attending Jasper's school of vampirism, if that makes it better."

"Where is Jasper?"

She turned to the living room, where she could have sworn she had last seen him. "He was just here."

The daisies were laid out on the kitchen counter as Edward went to search for a vase.

Alice entered the living area, inspecting the sectional non-committedly. "He respects your relationship, Bella. I'm sure he wanted to give you the privacy you needed with Edward."

Bella turned her back to her. "That's nice."

Edward was arranging the daisies into the vase one by one. It was delicate work, and she could tell he enjoyed it. Bella wondered just how much control and practice it took for him to not bend the stems in his grip, or accidentally shatter the vase.

As Edward put in the last daisy, he said, "I wanted to see you before I'm dragged out of the country."

Bella already knew this, courtesy of Jasper. It made today, and the next few days, easier to bear. But she feigned surprise, "You're leaving—again?"

"Once Carlisle comes home, we'll be headed to Italy." His nose wrinkled. Clearly, he wasn't looking forward to this. "Some court politics he wants me involved in. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks."

Bella glanced over at Alice. "Are you going with them?"

Alice merely smiled down at her phone, and then her eyes darted up. A taunt, as if saying, you would love that, wouldn't you? "No."

"When was the last time you were there?"

"Too long ago to remember."

Now Bella smiled. "I've learned that vampires have exceptional memory."

"Have you also been learning about our exceptional nails, and teeth?" Alice sauntered over to her and picked up the hand with her ring. She admired it for a second, before running her thumb over the veins in her wrist. Bella froze, because it was the same wrist Jasper took from. "Has Jasper been teaching you well, Bella? Are you satisfied with his methods?"

All Bella could think of was how well Alice was hiding any thoughts running through her brain from Edward. "He's doing his job."

"Aren't we all?" Alice let go of her wrist. "We all must serve our due."

Carlisle and Esme would come home two days later, and Edward spent that interim period exclusively with Bella.

He took her out to brunches, and dinners. They went to coffee shops in Port Angeles, and roamed bookstores. Had her own guillotine not been hanging over her head, and had Alice not been their constant chaperone, their time together would have just felt normal. From the outside, they were a beautiful couple, in a beautiful world; experiencing, learning, and perhaps even growing.

Bella wondered how many people looked at Carlisle and Esme the same way.

On the day of Edward's departure, he left her with a kiss on her knuckles, and a promise to return. A knight on his way on an adventure.

And there Bella stood, at the Cullens' driveway, watching the trees for any sight of him. After a few minutes, she decided that he was truly gone, and that after two days, she could finally breathe.

"Well, don't cry too hard."

Bella turned to find Rosalie beside her. Her and Emmett had come back with Edward, but she had hardly seen them at the house. Easily, she replied, "He'll be back."

"I would have gone with him. Who knows what happens in the Volturi's den?"

Jasper, probably. Alice, certainly. "He has Carlisle."

"I would never send Emmett alone."

Bella had a feeling she wouldn't survive a trip to see the kings. Not as a human. "Did you know that the Volturi color-code their humans?"

"Do they?" There was a hint of distraction in her voice as her attention was fixed on the tall trees ahead.

"A method of organization." No response. Bella turned her head towards her. "How was the trip?"

But Rosalie was smiling, though not at her. Seconds later, Emmett emerged from nature with a mirrored grin. He ran up to Rosalie and pulled her into an embrace.

He kissed her. Once. After greeting Bella, he sauntered up the driveway and vanished into the house. Rosalie's eyes tracked him the whole way.

"The trip was fine," she finally said, her smile fading into its complete opposite. "The Denali send their regards to you, gifted one."

Bella was used to the mockery. It was easy to ignore. Instead, curiously, she asked, "Where do you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"The bond."

Rosalie's eyes snapped to her.

"You knew Emmett was coming before he even appeared," Bella noted.

Rosalie said nothing for a while. She had angled her body towards the house, and Bella knew everyone inside could hear this conversation.

With gritted teeth, Rosalie finally told her, "Everywhere."

Carlisle hadn't returned to the Cullen estate directly. Jasper had let Bella know that he was spending some time with Esme at her cabin. Privacy was a good enough excuse, but Bella easily suspected it was more for Esme to keep distance from Edward. And now that Edward was gone, Esme could return.

"Tonight," Jasper said. "She will see Carlisle through, and then come home."

"How are they getting to Italy?"

He smiled at her from his desk. "How does anyone get to Italy from the Western United States?"

"Don't tell me they're flying commercial."

"Private."

Edward had just left today, and the house was vacant yet again. Bella hadn't seen Rosalie or Emmett since that morning.

The Cullen home was as empty as ever.

Bella sat at her chair, and Jasper sat at his. They watched each other, like they had countless of times before. The stagnant curtains were pulled tight, as it was mid-day, and no sun was allowed in the library.

"Edward told me about the Denali coven," Bella said casually. "And this one vampire—Tanya."

Jasper's red eyes didn't leave her face. "She's obsessed with him."

Bella scoffed, incredulous. "She can have him."

"He doesn't want her."

She was probably beautiful, but a little too dead for him. "I feel hunted every time I'm around him."

"Alice doesn't help with that?"

"Oh, I feel doubly hunted with her around." She shook her head at the carpet. "I wish none of them came back."

"And what then, Bella?" He was humoring her. "We'd commandeer this estate, and Carlisle would forget all about you? And what about the kings?"

"Don't bring reason into my fantasies." She got up and lingered at the opposite side of the desk, her eyes downcast. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in days."

Jasper's eyes tracked her. "I've been visiting Carlisle at the cabin. Preparations for his trip with Edward, and this vote."

The vote they were going to Italy for was regarding the human pets legislation. "Okay, but how have you been?"

"As I always am, Bella."

Her fingers ran over the spines of the books on his desk. "Well, I've been miserable. So, thank you for asking."

"Let's see," he said. "Is it because of your imminent death? Your lack of control, choice, or freedom? Or is it having to play human with Edward? Perhaps a mix of all of the above."

Bella smiled. "It's all so absurd."

"Yet you're smiling."

"Perhaps I've gone mad." And then, her eyes snapped up to him, her smile fading. "Have you burned the contract?"

He hadn't, because he procured it from the drawer, and slid it over to her.

As she stared at it, she said, "Burn it."

He examined it for a minute longer. What thoughts crossed his mind, Bella couldn't tell. But eventually, he held it to the flame of a nearby candle.

The scent of burning paper was strangely comforting.

The three of them in Jasper's library—it felt deceitful.

Esme was seated at one of the armchairs facing the room, right at the feet of those tall curtains. There wasn't a smile plastered on her face. It was more of a grimace, as she appeared deep in thought. Bella noted the wrinkle at the hem of her blouse.

Deceitful wasn't the right word for it, she realized. The masks were off. This was real.

Jasper sat at the desk, his chair turned to partially face Esme. Bella lingered by his side.

"I've stayed far away from Edward, Bella," Esme was saying, a hand at her throat. "But I'm not sure how long I can make up these excuses."

She had explained how she had lured Carlisle to a private getaway all throughout Western Canada, leaving the rest of the family to spend time with the Denali clan in Alaska. Upon their return to Washington, she had persuaded Carlisle to take a few days to themselves at their cabin, avoiding Edward altogether. It was just as Bella had suspected.

"Thank you," Bella said strongly. Meaningfully.

"Alice," Jasper said, his eyes sliding to Esme. "We have reason to believe that she's conducting some business of hers across the Oregon border."

Esme smiled a knowing smile. "Alice is always on some business, Jasper."

"It's business she's being very careful about, and I believe she's lured your son into it."

This was new information to Bella. "Edward?"

"In the time that they've returned, both of their scents are potent when they leave the house, but they're wiped clean when they return. They're taking some precautions to avoid detection of something."

"And you want me to figure out what this something is?" Esme asked.

"I can't cross the border, but you can," Jasper told her. "And you have to take Bella with you."

Bella nodded. "Alice will see otherwise."

Esme was quiet for a moment before she asked her, "Your shield really works that way?" And then, her eyes darted between both of them. "Well, I suppose it has to."

The implication beneath those words brought an odd feeling of shame. It was ridiculous. Bella glanced at Jasper, who was looking out of the grand windows. Sunlight was banished, but moonlight was always allowed.

"Yes, Esme," Bella murmured. "The gift that has kept me alive is the reason your husband wants to kill me."

There was silence.

"This is not… right," Esme eventually said, but Bella caught that uncertainty at the edge of her tone. "It shouldn't be this way."

Bella felt a spike of anger. She baited, "You don't sound too sure."

"Bella," came a quiet warning from Jasper.

"You told me to convince Edward that I wanted this. That I wanted to die," she pressed. "You know what he did, Esme." Her eyes shot to Jasper, daring him to stop her. "He wrapped a hand around my throat, and he would have killed me if Jasper hadn't gotten there in time. Alice covered me up, and to this day, I still don't know if Carlisle knows." Her anger was potent. "He wouldn't know, would he?"

Esme's voice was small. "Carlisle knows of Edward's temper."

"Does he know that I walked around his home with Edward's fingers branded on my skin?"

Esme didn't say anything.

Bella shook her head. "Why wouldn't you tell him?"

"Alice said it was a mistake. A slip. She said it wouldn't help anything if Carlisle knew. She said it would make it worse."

"Alice. Of course." Bella turned her head to Jasper, who had a distant look on his face. "Why is Edward getting all of Alice's protection?"

Red eyes met her stare. "And why is she protecting you from Edward?" He got up, contemplative. "She doesn't want Edward to kill you, and she wants Edward's good graces." He looked at Esme. "This is why we need you. We need to understand what Alice has dragged Edward into."

After a pause, Esme said, "I will take Bella with me across the border. I will help in whatever way I can."

Bella watched her face, how her neutral lips seemed strained, the tightness at the corners of her eyes. She noted openly, "This isn't easy for you."

Esme didn't respond to that. It didn't seem like she could. Instead, she asked, "You will mate her, Jasper?" The question seemed to hang heavy in the room. "When? How?"

Jasper glanced at Bella. "Soon after Carlisle changes her. I'm counting on her to be a very angry, and hungry newborn. Too problematic for Carlisle to want to handle."

Understanding came over Esme's face. "Carlisle won't deal with her in such a state."

"No. He won't."

Esme got to her feet, her golden eyes searching Jasper's. She seemed to dare to look at Bella, but only for a moment. Her eyes fell. "We can go tomorrow, if that works for you."

"I'll keep Alice here," Jasper said. He walked over to his desk, fingers flipping through a stack of papers. "I'm sure she'll be interested in some court updates."

"Tomorrow, then," Bella agreed.

Slowly, Esme made her way out of the library. Once she was out of sight, Bella watched Jasper as he listened.

And when he finally began to approach her, she knew that Esme had left the perimeter. He pulled her to him, his breath on her face. "You will be careful tomorrow. Let Esme run you there, and give her time to explore the area. But if she detects the presence of other vampires, you vacate immediately. Esme isn't a natural fighter, and she lacks any gifts to make up for it."

Bella noted the creases on his brow. "You're worried."

"Rightfully. We don't have any leads on what Alice could be doing, and why she has Edward looped in."

Distractedly, Bella stared out the tall windows. "Why is it so hard for Esme to cooperate? I can tell she cares."

"She's caged by her mating bond, Bella. This is the consequence of this imbalance. It's very hard for her to condemn Carlisle." He watched her. "It's a constant battle of feelings. Adoration, and respect. Resentment, and disgust."

"The solution, then," Bella said, "is to get rid of Carlisle—"

"No."

"He is the reason for all of this," she insisted.

He pulled away from her. "I need you to be a difficult newborn, yes. I need you to be angry. But this—Bella, get it out of your head. It's conspiracy, and it's reckless."

Bitterly, Bella turned her eyes to the door, where Esme had left. "Esme doesn't deserve this."

"And she knows you don't either. But the difference is, you have a way out."

The anger still hadn't dissipated. She felt it heat her skin. "But she has a way out, Jasper."

Jasper paused, and then Bella was pulled closer, a hand on her upper arm. "You can't save everyone." It was something he had told her before. "Do not try to be a hero, because you will lose."

"You can't tell me that you can just leave her like this."

"Killing with the intention of breaking a mating bond is illegal. What exactly would you have me do?" He challenged. "I signed up for you, Bella. Only you. The Cullens are a headache I can safely ignore after my sentence is through."

Ignorance didn't solve anything. "Seeing her this way is heartbreaking."

Jasper lifted her chin with his finger, and he gazed down at her. "Esme has learned to love Carlisle. I know, because I can feel it."

"That doesn't make it okay."

She knew in her heart that he agreed with her. But all he said was, "Leave the heroism for the martyrs, Bella."

A/N: We're getting there.

I'm in need of some songs. I love to write to music. Please send me music that reminds you of the vibes this story gives off.

I'll start: Kiss Me You Animal by Burn The Ballroom.

A little taste for what's next:

"This is directly breaking the Law of Exposure," Bella breathed. "It's been over a year." She turned to Esme. "Hasn't it?"