A/N: Some POV switching this chapter, I hope that doesn't bother anyone! Thanks so much for all the awesome comments, I wish I could respond to every single one of them like I do on AO3 but I feel strange messaging people to do it lol. Just know that I read, appreciate, and love every single one of them!

EPOV

When I rise I inhale just as I always do and am surprised when I smell the scent of my lover all around me. I haven't woken up to this in all too long. Not only do I smell her but I'm wrapped around her, I pull her close and inhale again after placing my nose right at the top of her head. It's then that I know this isn't a dream and it takes me a few more moments of lying with my eyes closed to realize where I am and what had happened last night. I am out, free, no longer at the queen's beck and call, I don't have to drop my pants and get hard just because she wants to cum, and I don't have to sit in the throne room for hours at a time welcoming people and sitting quietly while waiting for the queen to give me leave to speak. Or sit in the conference room and listen to her and her people speak of the same problems night after night without ever actually coming up with a solution, even if the solutions are simple and plain as day, they are just too short-sighted or idiotic to see them. I feel free, really free, not just that false sense of freedom I got when Appius died because I've already lived through his contingency plan. I purposely ignore the fact that a vote still has to happen and for now I am stuck living as a husband to yet another woman who is not the one I think of as my wife, even if she looks and acts suspiciously like her.

I come to my senses so I detach myself from her and back away to give myself some space. I still am unsure how to act around her, my instincts are always to keep her close to me and my urges beg for me to make her mine but I know she is not really who I am longing for. So after I detach myself I take a moment to wonder how she'd gotten to be back in my arms. I know when I went to rest this morning she pulled me close and I let her but there is no way that she stayed here all night like this. I feel her stiffen uncomfortably and know she must feel rejected. It's not my place to make her feel better or soothe her bruised ego so I intend to say nothing. Still, she did help me immensely by getting me out from under Freyda, and she has a lot of my Sookie in her so I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or unwanted.

So when she looks at me and smiles at me uncertainly I say "Good evening, you did not stay in here all day, did you?"

"Oh no, I went out to the pool for a little bit and suntanned, ate, and read a little but got bored all by myself so I decided to take a little nap until everyone woke up."

"Hmm," I say absently, that means she left and when she returned she crawled back into my arms, I decide not to think about how much work it'd take for her to move me to get her spot back or why'd she take the time and energy to do it.

Instead, I get up and get ready for the night. I don't say anything else to Sookie, instead, I head into our private shower and plan the rest of our night. We're spending the night here and getting in our coffins before we die for the day because we'll be traveling back to Louisiana tomorrow. We have much to discuss and plan, I also have to take some time to talk to Karin alone after last night. Truthfully, I'm not sure what to say to her. Though we haven't spent much time together since we went our separate ways, whenever we did meet up I always let her indulge in sex with me if that's what she wanted. Like Pam we had a very sexual relationship when she was first turned and also like Pam it tapered off once she got past the stigma that all humans had back then about having multiple partners. Though unlike Pam we didn't stop fucking completely, she and I both enjoyed the closeness it brought us. That is why it shouldn't have surprised me when she tried to initiate it last night.

Things are different now though, even though we still kept in touch over the years through phone calls we hadn't seen each other in centuries before I called her back to me for Sookie. And even when she came here I had no time to talk to her before I was in Oklahoma married off, so I see why she did what she did last night. What is really surprising me is how I acted, I have love for my progeny and she has always been beautiful, there was no reason I shouldn't have indulged, it just felt… wrong. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm a vampire, not a child. Yes, I gave monogamy a chance, and I enjoyed it while it lasted, I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, didn't fight for me the way I was willing to fight for her, and she left. Why do I feel the need to stay loyal to her when she's gone? And what's even more fucking confusing, I'm not even sure it was her I was thinking about when I stopped Karin last night.

I shake my head and decide to stop worrying about this right now, I'll speak to Karin and explain that for now I can't be with her that way. I spend the rest of my shower no less confused and unsure as I have been since Niall told me about the dimension travel. I hate feeling this way, I do not like being anything less than one hundred percent in control, in control of the situation, my emotions, the decisions, everything, So I am certainly not fond of how this is playing out.

I don't think anything of it when I walk out of the shower and into the room completely naked and I can't help but smirk at Sookie's blush and quick look away. I don't miss the peeks she takes over her shoulder either. Her blush doesn't go away until long after I'm dressed and when she speaks I'm so lost in my thoughts again I'm thankful for the distraction.

"So, Mr. Northman, what do you do for fun?"

I stare at her for a second bemused until I recall our whole 'starting over fresh conversation. "Call me Eric, please. Unfortunately, I don't have much down time to explore interests though I have been known to enjoy dancing or relaxing at the house watching movies."

Call it a test if you will, bringing up things Sookie and I have done and enjoyed in our past. It's hard to believe that this Sookie, it feels wrong calling her that, remembers everything I've ever done with my Sookie but going by the blush on her cheeks and the smell of arousal in the room she remembers what it's like when we dance together. "And what about you Ms. Stackhouse?"

She shakes her head to clear it in a way I can't help but find cute before responding. "Eric, please, Ms. Stackhouse makes me feel old, call me Sookie. I enjoy spending my free time reading a lot. It's loud in my head a lot of the time so being alone and able to focus on another world is a fun distraction for me."

I open my mouth to ask her more questions because I find myself enjoying this silly 'getting to know you' time but there's a knock on our door. "Eric, get out here, you two can spend your nights in bed when we get back home. Right now we need a game plan."

Fuck, what is Pam trying to do? She knows I haven't been with Sookie, why is she pushing this? I look at Sookie and see the blush I can't believe she still gets, even after all the stuff in bed we've done together. Fuck I'm doing it again, mixing the two. I walk over to the door, open it, and walk right past her into the living area. Now that I think about it Pam is a welcomed distraction, I need some distance from Sookie. I notice Karin is in here but she's standing with her head down in a subservient way, the way she used to act when she did wrong and was being punished. She must think I'm angry with her.

"Karin," I wait until she looks at me before continuing, which takes a few seconds. "Come,"

I turn without waiting for a response and make my way over to the balcony of the suite. I pass Sookie as I'm walking and see her look at me questioningly, I don't say anything to her but soften my face from the blank mask that is my go-to. I see her shoulders lose tension and am pleased that she feels better, though I'm angry at myself for caring at all. Once Karin closes the sliding door behind her I turn from the view to look at her. I see that she is still avoiding eye contact and trying not to get annoyed, I know she must be really unsure of herself and the situation right now because I haven't seen her act this timid since she was a fledgling.

"Karin, be calm, I'm not angry."

That makes her look at my eyes finally and I decide now is as good a time as any to not only speak about last night but explain why I sent her away all those years ago.

~~~~

SPOV

"Stop staring, it's creepy."

I jump and realize I turned to look out to the balcony again without my conscious consent. I turn to look at Pam a little sheepishly. "Oops."

She scoffs. "Come on, they're not that interesting, it's not like you can hear what they're saying. Hell, I can't even hear what they're talking about."

"Doesn't that make you interested? They've been out there for like a half hour."

"No, what I'm interested in is knowing why you only smell like Eric in the most superficial ways. Please don't tell me you spent all night cuddling. Actually, on second thought, please do, that will give me at least a century's worth of things to make fun of him about." She says, her hands up in front of her face as if she's looking at the words in big letters " Picture it, a big billboard with a picture of Eric holding a stuffed animal 'Eric Northman, serial snuggler'"

I snort out the sip of coffee I just took before feeling embarrassed and quickly cleaning up the mess I made. "Seriously Sookie, what happened? Is he being mean? Is he pushing you away?"

"I— I don't really know. No, he's not being mean but I guess he's keeping his distance, I don't want to push too hard. I don't think he accepts that I'm this Sookie, he keeps throwing out little tidbits from our past testing to see if I know what he's talking about. He hasn't said anything that didn't actually happened yet but I could see him trying to trip me up."

Pam just stares at me for a few moments, coming up with her own conclusions and opinions, which is fair I guess, though I'd appreciate maybe some advice or something, that'd be nice. Then again, no one has ever called Pam nice. After I realize she's not going to give me anything I keep talking, "I mean I get it, I continuously think about how weird this is for me, like all the time but I guess I haven't been considering how weird this is for all of you, especially Eric. So like what do I do? Just wait, see what happens? Give him space? Do the opposite and push myself on him nonstop? No, that wouldn't work. Honestly, I'm not even sure what my goal is here, I know…" I trail off and shake my head, cheese and rice this is hard, my head hurts and part of me just wishes that none of this ever happened, that I was back in the other dimension and living in blissful ignorance.

"Sookie, I don't know what to tell you. For now, I think we just have to focus on what's important, and that means making sure we win this council vote and figuring out who sent the vampires and Weres to case your yard."

I sigh, she's completely right, what am I doing? It's selfish of me to be worrying about getting this Eric to love me, that's not what's important. That's not why I came to Oklahoma, I came here to get him out of that shitty situation he was stuck in. Of course, in the process of doing that, I started another problem because I couldn't remember the one simple rule, make phone calls on the burner phone. Now someone knows I broke the rules of the contract first so they know they can contact me again. Which in any normal situation wouldn't be a problem, but for the supernatural who think they are above everyone and can do whatever they want, not so much. These are the types of people who think they can take whoever they want, whenever they want, and force them to do whatever they want. Consent isn't a word they pay too much attention to. That means nothing good for me, unfortunately. Yeah, Pam is right, I have to focus on the important stuff, the rest will come later. Still, though, I can't stop from letting my eyes stray over to the balcony again to get another look at Eric and Karin, after a second I focus back on Pam.

"Okay, well did we learn anything more about the vampires? Karin said she had people looking over my house, did they come back? Or was it maybe just a one-time thing?" I say the last part hopefully but I know I'm not that lucky.

"They've come back each night since the first one but we haven't been able to apprehend anyone."

"Why? Are they super stealthy? Fast? Strong?"

"Most of our best people are here with us, on call in case we need them if a fight broke out while we went to the compound or in case she tries to stop us from leaving the state."

I hear the sliding door open but don't look over because I'm too focused on Pam's words. I ask worriedly, "Do you think something like that could happen?"

"Think something like what could happen?" Eric asks as he walks over to the mini fridge and takes out a package of blood that I didn't even know was in there. I notice Karin doesn't stop walking from the balcony and goes right into her room but she doesn't look unhappy so I guess the conversation went well.

"An attack on the way out of the state," Pam answers.

"Hmm, yes that is a possibility, she is known for being a sore loser. Though it'd be idiotic on her part, attacking us would give me all rights to end her. She is smart, she'll come up with something sneaky, underhanded. I wouldn't suspect anything to happen before we get back to Louisiana though we should not rule out the possibility and in fact plan for it."

"Of course, master. Now, the vampires coming onto Sookie's land, they mean one of two things, we either have a new threat that has nothing to do with Oklahoma and Louisiana, or someone has been listening into her phone calls and knows that she broke the contracts first."

Eric's fangs come down in anger, I'm just not sure if he's angry that someone is after me or that I was caught breaking the treaties. "Pamela, I've taught you better than that, why was she using her landline with no protections?"

Pam looks at me with her brow quirked which causes Eric to look at me too, except he is almost accusatory. He seems angry and I'm not sure why, then again, this reminds me of the memories of whenever I was in danger, he got so worried and a lot of times that worry turned into anger. It gives me a little hope that he cares about me more than he's letting on. Then again, he could just be worried about his own safety and freedom because if I'm taken or die he has no one to be married to. Still, though, I don't want Pam getting in trouble for my mistake.

"Yeah, that one is on me, I forgot about the burner she gave me and used my phone to call Russell Edgington." I can't help the shiver that comes at the thought of Russell, yeah, that phone call went well enough but my other memories of him from my original dimension are still strong.

Eric notices and if possible he looks even angrier than before, his words come out as more of a growl than anything, "What did he say to you?"

"Say? Nothing." I continue at his look of disbelief, though I wish I didn't have to, every time I bring up the other dimension his body stiffens and he distances himself from me. "No, really. It's not him, it's what happened in my other dimension. Russell isn't as…. mentally stable there as he is here. He'd tried to kill both of us a lot there and that's just the tip of the iceburg."

He doesn't look as angry as before but I called it, his posture straightens even more and he takes a literal step back from me. Noncommittally he replies "Hmm." After a moment of silence, I find it awkward but that might just be me, he continues, turning to speak to Pam. "What measures have you taken to find out who is responsible for this?"

"They have been able to avoid capture so far, I blame it on the imbeciles that are trying to capture them but I digress, either way, we haven't been able to question them thus far so we don't have much to go on to figure out who is after her. We need to find out who the enemy is before deciding how to defeat them."

"Have you tried to follow their tracks back to their hideout?" Eric demands, he's still angry and on edge.

"Yes, though they've lost them every time, again I blame incompetence on our part. All of our best underlings are here in Oklahoma with us in case something went wrong when getting you from the queen's compound."

"Well, then why are they still here? I've been with you for nearly twenty-four hours at this point." He demands.

"I thought it'd be best to keep them with us until we make it home in case there was an attack on the way out of the state. You said it yourself, even if we don't think there will be an attack, we must prepare just in case."

He stays quiet for a long time and I can see that Pam is worried that he will find a problem with her decisions while she's been in charge. If he does say anything bad I'll have one hell of a bone to pick with him, she's been working so hard to make him proud and almost every one of her waking moments has been focused on getting him free. Thankfully, there's no need to go off on him when he replies, "Yes, that is the way that I'd do it too. We'll just have to wait until we're back to get the answers to our questions. It'll be faster with you and I searching them out anyway."

Pam quirks her lips at him, which in Pam's speak is a blinding smile. She's happy and proud of his approval. "Yes, I thought much the same. Speaking of which, where will you two be living? Sookie's house? It seems dangerous for her now that Weres and vampires are circling, at night she'll be safe with you there but the Weres can attack during the day."

"Yes, and I've sold most of my properties in the state, I had to according to the terms of my agreement with Freyda. We can stay in the hotel the first few nights and I'll get my realtor on finding us a new house as soon as possible."

"Now wait a minute, I'm fine with living with you, I've planned for it and I'm kinda excited but nothing in those plans was there anything about giving up my house and running away," I interject angrily.

Eric growls and his angry face is back and starts pacing around the kitchen area, "Fan Sookie, det förändras aldrig med dig, eller hur?" (Fuck Sookie, it never changes with you, does it?)

I hate it when he speaks in his native tongue, he knows I can't understand him. Though I have learned that he only slips back into it when he's over-emotional, usually too angry, too hurt, too surprised, too happy, or having an overload of pleasure, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out which one he is right now.

Pam, who I note bitterly was taught his native language, chimes in and tries to calm things down. "Sookie, take a deep breath here, it's important for you humans. No one said you had to give up your house, it's not like we're telling you to put it on the market. We're just saying it's not safe there right now, you can't be unprotected during the day, not just for you, my maker will be completely helpless when he's dead for the day in a house that isn't secured and that just cannot be. You understand that, yes?"

Well, when she says it like that it makes me feel dumb and like I'm overreacting. I sigh and quietly answer, "Yeah, that makes sense."

"Good. So here's what we're going to do, you two are going to a hotel when you get home, under false names so no one will be looking for you there. In the time that you're there, we'll have workers sent to your house to properly secure it, more than secure it, we're going to make it a fortress so that no one will have a chance of getting in unless they're invited, that means witches with spells, security companies with the works, builders making stronger walls and secrete panic rooms. Also, Eric is going to be looking for a house that you two can both be happy in because the things with your house will take some time and it's never a bad thing to have a plan B, right?" She asks leadingly and I have no choice but to agree or I'll sound like a stubborn, spoiled, selfish, child.

So I nod my head begrudgingly, even though I don't like the sound of the plans they have for my house. "Okay, but whatever you have planned for the farmhouse better keep it the same structurally, the whole point I don't want to leave it is because it's been in my family for generations and it's where I grew up, it's special to me. Gutting it and changing it to fit your needs would make the whole point useless. I wish I had a picture of how my Eric did it in the other dimension because that gave it everything it needed but still kept it the same."

I know I said the wrong thing when Eric stiffens before nodding once and vamping out of the room. It only takes me a moment to realize what the problem is. I called the other Eric my Eric. That probably feels like a slap in the face to this Eric. Especially because the Eric I'm talking about is currently married to the love of his life, it probably feels like no matter what Sookie is here, they all want another version of him. I'm probably the only other person in the world who understands what he's going through because right now I feel the same, except in my situation I know I'm right. I'm right here, ready and willing to be with him but he's held up on some other version of me that he'll never see again. Part of me wishes I never said anything, that he didn't know that I'm not the same Sookie, it's not like I'd get caught in a lie, I mean I have all the memories. I couldn't though, Pam and Karin came to the house before I had this Sookie's memories, so they'd have known no matter what and I know if it came down to it, they'd chosen to be on Eric's side over mine, so they wouldn't keep this big a secret from him for me. It's not like I could do it anyway, I couldn't live a lie that big forever. It doesn't matter anyway, when it comes down to it he does know and I have to find a way to move forward with that information.

I sigh when I see that Pam is looking at me admonishingly. "I know, I fucked up, I didn't mean to. Don't make me feel worse, help me fix it."

She stares at me for a few long moments before sighing herself and walking around the island so that she's closer to me. She sits on the stool and pats the one next to her, I follow her lead and sit down. "Sookie, I don't know how to fix that. Don't look at me like that, I'm not saying he won't get over it because he will. All I'm saying is that vampires have a long memory and I don't think he'll ever forget that one." She shrugs, as if she has nothing to add.

I appreciate that, at least a little. Pam isn't one to beat around the bush, she won't offer me false platitudes to make me feel better, or try to comfort me at all, she just tells you like it is and that's that. Unfortunately, right now she has information I'm not too fond of hearing. "Well damn. I guess I better go talk to him."

"Yeah, but you might want to give him a few minutes to calm down,"

"You think he's really that mad?"

She gives me a look that makes it clear she thinks I'm an idiot. "Mad? No."

What? Oh, I hurt his feelings, that makes me feel a hundred times worse. "Oh, okay, well then that means I shouldn't wait at all, right? I should try to make him feel better."

We have to get ready to leave soon and there is no way I want our first night alone in the hotel together awkward and uncomfortable because he's upset, because I hurt him. So I have no choice but to talk to him now. Plus, I don't want him to be hurting, I want to make him feel better as soon as possible, I hate when he's upset, especially because of me. It's just that I probably should figure out what I'm going to say to him before I go in there. Yeah, that'd definitely be the smart way to go, I just have no clue what to say, 'I'm sorry' would probably be a good place to start but what am I sorry for? A slip of the tongue? Not getting passed the whole dimension travel fast enough? Him mistakingly thinking that I want the other Eric more than him even though I feel like I know him so much better and he's the one I actually love? Wait, that last one might be the ticket, that's the way to go.

I nod my head and stand up. Pam is looking at me with a quirked brow but doesn't try to stop me. I walk over to our room and don't knock before entering which I realize might be kind of rude or strange but I'm already opening the door so it's too late to do anything about it. I'm not really surprised when I hear the shower running and accept that I'm going to have to wait for him to finish even though he just showered when he rose this evening. That's something I've realized we have in common, the shower is a place we both go when we need to think, and it's also a place we both go when we need to blank our mind of thoughts and just unwind, I'm betting right now it's the latter for Eric. Either way, I'm no one to sit idly so I start to pack my clothes and once I finish that I pack what little Eric brought with him from the compound and what Pam had brought for him from home before again realizing this might be another way I'm overstepping but oh well, there's no point in me unpacking it, he'd know I've been through his stuff anyway so I keep going until I hear the bathroom door open.

I put the last of the clothes in the suitcase before turning around to look at him. I get distracted for a second because he's naked with only a towel wrapped around his lower half and there are still drips of water on his chiseled chest, and his long hair is wet down his back with some over his shoulder. It takes me a little time for my eyes to wander to his face where he has his stupid, sexy, smug smirk waiting for me. After I make sure there's no drool coming from my mouth I point wordlessly to the clothes I left unpacked for him and turn around to give him privacy to dress. Although it isn't necessary because he uses his vamp speed and he's dressed so quickly I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to see anything if I tried.

I sigh before metaphorically pulling up my big girl pants for this conversation. I walk over to the bed, sit down, and pat the spot next to me with a hopeful look on my face. I see him contemplate his choices before eventually sitting down and looking at me waiting.

"I'm sorry." There, I just get the hardest part out there right away, I'm terrible at apologizing and I hate doing it. I don't know what I was expecting but he doesn't reply at all, he just keeps looking at me so I know I have to continue. "I didn't mean to hur— upset you. I think you might be misunderstanding what that other Eric was to me. We weren't a couple, we weren't in love, neither of us held any claim over the other, though he'd like to think he did. I barely knew him, I wouldn't let myself because Bill had too much power over me and had me convinced that he was the devil walking the earth. Honestly, when I look at both memories, it was a pretty similar situation to what you two had going on before the amnesia. So you know, we knew each other, I liked you, though I tried not to and we worked together from time to time. Then there was the amnesia, I fell for you—him though I tried not to because I knew it wouldn't work, or thought anyway. Either way, that's when I was taken, so we weren't in love, I'm not pining for him, or wishing he was who I'm talking to when I'm looking at you. The vast majority of my… feelings for you are from the memories I have of my time here, or her time here, whatever. I don't think that ever won't be confusing. So yeah, that's all I had to say I guess, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't who I was talking to, or who I wanted to be talking to." Just saying that last part hurts because I know he can't say the same about me.

He stays quiet for a long time and normally I'd be getting anxious or nervous with this type of prolonged silence but there's a new softness in his eyes, a new ease around me that wasn't there before, and the hurt and anger that had been simmering beneath his surface are gone now. I'm surprised when he reaches over and takes my hand, he doesn't say anything, he just holds it. I can't help but

get the feeling he's been wanting to do that for a long time but he's been holding himself back. It doesn't matter, I'm just happy for the progress, I squeeze his hand once, kind of just to assure myself it's real. Things aren't right or good between us, not yet, and I don't think they will be for a while but at least I think they're moving in the right direction. We still haven't really figured anything out, other than the fact that I'm going to be living in a hotel for the next few days but that's okay for now.