Chapter 35: Kodama
Our little procession of two soon left the Torture and Interrogation building and walked toward the east of Konoha.
After a while, we entered a residential area, as the well-endowed and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS BY ASSOCIATION Jonin took the lead. Until we arrived in front a completely ordinary looking building. Mitarashi Anko simply took a look at it, before turning her gaze to me.
"Arashi Senshu will be living here. This is the place where we house foreign shinobis until they have proven they can be trusted."
Anko used a key to open a door at the first floor, before beckoning me with a casual wave of her hand.
We all entered and a completely normal apartment welcomed us.
I mean, the casualness of the place threw me off, somehow.
"Alright, let's start with the basics." Anko took out her coat and unceremoniously threw it on the sofa.
"This place is loaded with seals. First of all, Privacy ones. You activate them like this." The Jonin clapped her hand and the sounds of Konoha immediately stopped.
"You can dispel them with the same hand sign." Anko clapped her hands again. "Next, there are Chakra restrictive seals, you activate them like this." She did another set of hand seals without putting chakra into it as I memorized them.
"And finally, in case that your little friend tries to escape and you can't do anything against him, just do this." Anko then put her left palm horizontally, facing the ground, while her right one mimicked it but turned toward the roof.
Immediately, I felt that all the aforementioned seals activating and the whole room started heating…
"And you can stop it simply by breaking the seal under the five seconds mark! If not, you'll both die!" Anko happily said as she immediately dropped her arms and the temperature dropped.
"Anyway, since it's your first day, just take a seat!" The Jonin happily moved toward the sofa that was laying in the middle of the room, before unceremoniously slumping on it. Which drew an unwanted reaction from me.
"They're… Bouncing…"
"Oh? Do you like what you see, Shinji-kun?" Anko said in a teasing tone.
"GYAAAAAH?!" I immediately threw my hands in front of my eyes as I tried my best to ignore the perfectly healthy and understandable reaction of seeing her tits going 'boing-boing' through her completely see-through fishnet and AAAAAAARGH! God damnit hormones! I'm an ass guy! I hereby decide that I'm now an ass guy! Forever!
"The female form is the key to every secret there is." Anko said with a toothy grin. "But you don't have that. So, we'll be starting with this."
Anko then took a big book from… I really don't want to know from where and held it to me.
I tentatively opened it and looked at the summary.
Chapter 1: How to identify infiltrators.
Chapter 2: How to approach infiltrators.
Chapter 3: How to report infiltrators.
Chapter 4…
"This is the complete Konoha's Counter-Intelligence cookbook." The Jonin said. "Read it, learn it, hate it, but most importantly…" The deadly eyes of the Snake Disciple locked with mine… "Never spill it. Or I will thoroughly enjoy what will come after and you won't, we clear?"
Mommy, help me…
"Anyway, I have things to do, try to memorise everything, Shinji-kun. I'll do a pop quiz when I feel like it. Now, where the hell did that reservation form ended up… Ah!" Anko then put a roll of parchment out of... Probably wherever the book came from and started to write on it with a brush. A scroll, I noticed, had the symbol 44 written at the top of it…
As for me, I opened the book at random and landed on the third part. And it listed all the many signs that I could use to communicate without speaking. But as much as it was a treasure trove, they were… Confusing…
Scratch your neck with one finger: Will report in one hour.
Scratch your neck with two fingers: Nothing to report…
Tap your left feet in annoyance one time: Will report in two hours…
Tap your right feet in annoyance one time: I'm followed…
And the rest had no apparent logic into them. Wouldn't scratching two fingers against my neck make more sense for the two hours mark? What kind of twisted moronic mind thought that 'Scratch two finger on your temple means 'Will report in three hours'?
"Huh?" Moon-moon interrupted my thoughts in our Imprint. "What do you mean? It makes perfect sense to me?"
… Asked and answered…
"Alright, quiz time!" Anko suddenly and eagerly shouted after a few minutes. Before gnawing the end of her brush, and brushed her purple hairs behind her right ear with three fingers.
I had NO IDEA what that meant. I remember in passing reading that brushing your hairs meant something about being encircled, but I'VE ONLY BEGAN READING FOR 30 MINUTES!
"Friend…" Moon-moon reached again out to me in our imprint, before telling me the answer.
"Infiltration compromised…? Outnumbered five to one?" I hesitantly answered.
The special Jonin's eyes quickly turned from playful to surprised, then to suspicious.
"That information was in chapter one. And I know you didn't read it. How!" And now her eyes and demeanour turned to aggression.
I was expecting that, so when she finally locked her eyes with mine, I was already pointing toward my Friend.
"Moon-moon thought all this is 'common-sense'. This manual wouldn't happened to have been written by an Inuzuka? Pure chance. Shot in the dark. Please tell me I'm wrong."
Anko kept her suspicious eye contact with me for a short moment, before throwing her head backward.
"AHAHAHAAA! 'Good at being underestimated!' Scarface said!" She started to laugh while slapping a hand on her laps. "Kamis, 'Let your guard down and you'll owe me a beer'!"
I let her having her sudden fit of laughter, before she finally collected herself.
"Okay, brat, you got me." Anko continued to giggle for a moment, before continuing. "And sorry to disappoint you, but Konoha's whole counter intelligence protocols were completely rewritten by your grandfather when he and his wolf joined our department. I guess talent runs in the family?"
I could only manage a looooooooooooong and resigned sigh.
Then, mimicking Anko, I threw my head backward.
And slammed it on the desk in front of me.
Which only made her laughing louder.
And so, the week passed as I began reading the book from the beginning. Anko only stopping writing whatever she was writing on her scroll to quiz us as Moon-moon and I memorised everything that was on the folder.
And by that, I mean Moon-moon divining everything perfectly as I wondered what kind of deranged mind my grandfather had…
I mean, coughing twice should not mean 'Evacuate the children' when coughing only once meant 'Going undercover for five days'…
Then, as the week-end was coming closer by the second, Anko put her brush and scroll in her storage space.
"All right, Shinji-kun, it's time for your graduation exam!" Anko shouted cheerfully before turning to me. "What do you think I have been writing in front of you this past week?"
"You mean the scroll that I tried to steer the fuck out only out of self-preservation? The scroll with the obvious '44' symbol on it? That scroll?" I deadpanned toward the Special-Jonin, whose grin became even wider.
"Indeed, Shinji-kun, that scroll… A good Counter-intelligence officer goes WAY beyond memorising a few signs. So, let's just hear whatever you managed to snatch while I so blatantly let you do so, hum?"
Anko laid herself back on the sofa, with a relaxed and amused face.
"I'll be a good Senpai, and give you a hint, little Kohai." Anko said, before her face turned serious again. "This will become extremely important soon. Now, impress me."
I placed the book on the table. I won't lie, I looked at the scroll she was using a few times before recognising what was written on it, as Moon-moon told me how she was enjoying what was coming and tried to keep my mind away from what it represented.
"Mitarashi-sempai…" I started to speak in a low voice. "In our second exam in Kumo, we were sent in a valley prone to lightning strike. The valley of Raijin, as they called it. We had to fumble with wires and so on. It was dangerous, hazardous, but…."
I grasped my knuckle together. "But compared to training ground 44, the Forest of Death? We were safe. Do you have any idea how many CHILDREN WILL DIE HERE!?" I shouted at her smug face.
"Of course, that's the point." And her honest answer cut me short.
"I don't know what your sensei told you, but the second exam? It's here to get rid of potential but unachieved talents by putting everyone against them. Just so that they hopefully die and don't threaten us later."
All trace of benevolence, if they were even any, vanished from the Special-Jonin in front of me.
"What Kumo did at the last exam was stupid beyond belief. Because they wanted to show Kumo's Strength and Honor, or whatever bullshit they claimed, only two Genins died at their stupidly easy second exam. As a result, Kiri dominated it and now the precautious balance between our villages is in jeopardy. We won't allow that, orders from the top. From the first to the third, our exams will be merciless. Anyway, you passed."
And so, Anko got up from the sofa, before heading toward the door and clapped her hand together. Immediately, the aforementioned door opened and Arashi Senshu entered, flanked by two others new Chunin that I didn't recognised.
"Arashi Senshu." Anko began, all trace of humour absent. "Your request had been accepted. Shinji-kun here will be your parole officer. I'll leave you to get acquainted. See you tomorrow."
And, just like, that, Mitarashi Anko and the two Chunin escorting the blond guy left the place. Leaving me alone facing the blond and towering-over-me Kiri Jonin.
Still, if the seals on his exposed hands and neck were telling the truth, then I was the stronger person in the room… But… I was also the angrier person in the room.
I clapped my hands together, activating the silencing and restricting seals in the apartment just in case, as Anko taught me before getting up from my sitting position.
"Why did you ask specifically from me, Arashi-Kishi-KansenIDONTGIVEASHITANYMORE!?" I screamed as I stood against him, as my mind was scrambling to create a new trick that could SET THAT FUCKER ON FIRE, he just made himself comfortable on the sofa.
"I wanted to do this slowly. You would have been safe in Konoha and we would have, sooner or later, the chance to meet again. Do you have any INKLING of the target you have put on my back?" I asked while trying to stare a hole in the blond and uncaring person in front of me.
"I ran out of options." The guy answered seriously. "My old home will kill my wife and daughter if my presence here is known. So, I asked to join your village in the most blatant and obvious way. Each day that I'm quietly kept under observation here in this…" Arashi actually took the time to get a view of his new apartment. "Gilded prison means one day more before their lives are in danger because I'm alive."
"And I want to know what do you want to do about her." He coldly finished.
"Nothing right now." I cut him. "Guessing, hypothesis and so on, only because I'm a fucking GENIN in a village that house people who can DESTROY A MOUNTAIN when they have a bad day. Before you came? I only needed time and maybe, hopefully, PLAN. And now you stripped me of this."
A bit of anger might have slipped into my voice.
"Leaving me with only… You. So, now I have no choice left but to play their game. Let's start from the beginning. Before we can talk about the rabbit… Prove me that your intention of helping me helping her is genuine."
"So, how do you want to play." The blonde Jonin answered, unruffled.
I slammed a folder in the table between us.
"This is the sum of knowledge my grandfather, helped by MINAMI'S MOTHER managed to put on paper. Let's start with how accurate it is, and work our way from here. Starting with your clan, Kishi Kansen."
And so, time continued to pass.
My originally week of 'off duty' was over in a flash. As the Konoha's Chunin exams was coming closer.
I soon rejoined the "team-building exercises" Kyougi-sensei had planned for us. Read: 'knocking the lights out of each other'. And I wasn't always on the winning side… Damn, that girl can throw a punch… And she knew where to aim for extra damage…
But besides that, Kyougi-sensei came to us one day, with a formal order from the Tower.
Apparently, the Chunins and Special-Jonins of Konoha were completely overloaded with the preparation of the Chunin-exams.
Yama's presence was requested in the hospital, Kasumi was exempted from duty.
And so, I was now outside of Konoha, sitting in front a table and facing the very LONG line of merchants and visitors that wanted a first row in Teenagers-Killing-Each-Other-For-Gambling exam.
Oh, I think I got up on the wrong foot today. Well, good to know…
"It IS a good training, Shinji-kun!" Anko said as I explained to her that we were being exploited while Genma and his friends where just unloading their workload onto us when we should be training. Assholes.
The line was mostly made of merchants who had reserved a spot in Konoha's main street and were eager to finally settle down and unload their merchandise.
And when I said 'mostly'…
"Alright, yaaaawn…. Sorry, here's your pass." A Chunin on my right side handed a token to a perfectly normal merchant, before waving him to move along so that he didn't hold the queue.
No one reacted to it, because the message (the yawn) was already received loud and clear by everyone else.
Shinobi.
But was he from an allied nation wanting to keep an eye on our Chunin exam? Or from a hostile country? Or a wildcard? How should I know?
I raised that point to Anko, during one of our 'training sessions' in our newly appointed 'headquarters' (read: Arashi's house, much to his annoyance). The answer was as concise as it made sense:
"Not your job, my little Kohai. You are only here to flag potential persons of interest. Our job is to dig into what you found."
My 'Sempai' answered as she finished a skewer of dango, before letting herself fall in the sofa and boing-boing-YAAAAAAAARGH SHE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE I SWEAR!
Arashi found my reaction amusing.
Between training sessions with my squad, pop quiz from Anko, completely irrelevant D-rank missions and my little brother coming back from his first C-rank mission, prouder than ever…
Moon-moon reached out to me in our headspace as I was processing the seemingly unending flow of visitors trying to enter the village as my shift was ending.
"Friend…?"
"Hum?" I distractedly answered while finishing to filling the authorisation form of a complete chakra-less civilian that, apparently, was here to bet on the result of the Chunin exam.
"That woman over there… Smells like our 'guest'… Especially the little one… And there's a small whiff of Ume…"
I immediately chose to NOT look at whoever my Friend was looking. I simply handled the gambling guy the pass and looked at the queue that had formed before me.
Oh… My… Fuck…
A blonde woman with sharp features and in her late thirties was patiently waiting for her turn. With a young girl clutching her right leg.
Thinking about the way my Friend introduced them, I couldn't blame him. The young girl, maybe four or five… Looked like a female miniature copy of Arashi Senshu… Kamis, please give me some time to plan for the future… Please… I want no part in this…
The queue thinned too rapidly, and soon I had to raise my eyes and looked at the woman that I KNEW was trouble.
"Alright. Names and reason to be here?" I asked with my best 'bored and uncaring' voice.
"Kei Kotori." The woman patted the head of her daughter, who looked afraid of me, before continuing. "Kei Shiroe. My husband, a farmer, died of sickness. I used to run our finances and I hoped we could settle here and find a trade to provide for my daughter…"
Okay, credit where it's due, her excuse is credible.
"Well, sorry but my shift just ended and I'm only a trainee. Maybe one of my experienced co-workers can help you with the loooong list of required paperwork…" Since I wanted NOTHING to do with them, I immediately turned my gaze to my 'senpai', Genma, who was overseeing another line of visitors.
"Don't worry, my favourite Kohai, just take them to the tower, it's standard procedure. Everything will go smoothly from here. It's just paperwork, promise!" Unfortunately, the special Jonin smoothly segued before coughing in his left hand, before putting a finger on his mouth and slide it on the left side of it. While tapping two times with his middle finger of his right hand on the table and greeted the next person that wanted to enter our village.
'Unavailable. Plan in the work. Kunoichi meeting. Under cover infiltration.'
Moon-moon translated the innocent signs of the Shinobi sitting close to me in our headspace.
As my mind processed the fact that Genma didn't used the hand-sign for 'undercover', I still wonder to this day how I managed to NOT incinerate the guy with the power of my mind.
"Well, I can as well escort you inside… Come with me please." I stood up from my chair and took the two women inside Konoha.
As the two women followed me through the streets of Konoha, a lingering sense of nostalgia hit me as they watched the normality that 'Kishi Kansen' witnessed before. Orange Greatness thankfully absent from the picture.
Our trip toward the tower didn't take much time, and they were welcomed by the ton of paperwork required to settle in Konoha.
A stack of paperwork that, I couldn't help but notice, the mother started filing at a startling speed.
Names: Kei Shiroe/Kei Kotori.
Occupations: Accountant for a civilian farm/Pre-school.
Reason for the demand: Provide for my daughter and myself after the passing of my husband from sickness.
Well, her Kishi heritage might be useful, I couldn't help to imagine after the description of her clan from my gramps.
Also, I wouldn't mind her erasing a certain elder vanishing from History…
Still, I couldn't help but notice that the little girl, clutching her mother's leg, kept throwing curious glances at me. Or more precisely, at my Friend.
"His name is Moon-moon, he's friendly." I said casually toward the wolf that was curled in a ball on the floor. "Wanna pet him?"
Moon-moon's ears immediately perked up, as did the young girl's eyes.
"Kotori, don't bother the nice Shinobi." Unfortunately, her mother smashed her hope into oblivion and the little girl obediently resumed waiting close to her mother.
The paperwork was soon finished and two Genins arrived. The first one, probably not older than me, organised the files in a folder to be processed. The other, older and probably more experienced, asked them to follow him toward their future lodging for the duration of the evaluation.
And I finally stepped outside, glad that I managed to dodge this Mist-shaped bullet.
That month had been the messier of all mess…
After taking a life, I joined the Torture and Interrogation division. Well, their Counter-Intelligence division, which doesn't make it any better…
Under the 'tutelage' of Mitarashi Anko…
I became the warden of the Jonin sensei of a little rabbit who I strongly believe is someone like me…
A Jonin whose wife and daughter are now living inside the same walls…
And the Chuunin Exams are slowly approaching while I'm wasting my time here…
Maybe I should just call in sick.
Seclude myself in my room under the pretence of 'training' and maybe, finally, plan for what I'm going to do?
No sudden missions, no demonic hell-spawn masquerading as a cat, no blonde dressed in red promising the sweet, sweet release of death and never delivering…
Wouldn't that be nice? Just me and my Friend, calmly thinking about what the fuck we're going to do without any distra…
"Shinji-kun! What a lucky coincidence!" GOD DAMNIT MURPHY! THAT WASN'T A FUCKING CHALLENGE!
I stopped my walk toward my clan compound to look toward the cheerful voice that called for me.
And immediately stopped in my tracks.
"Kakashi… Sensei?"
And indeed. In front of me was the masked sensei of Konoha's team 7.
Hatake Kakashi.
The Son of the White Fang.
The Child Prodigy who graduated at five, after only one year in the academy.
The disciple of the Fourth Hokage.
Who made it to Jonin at 12.
The Copy Ninja. Kakashi of the Sharingan…
The Sixth Hokage…
Somehow, all my brooding and tentative planning went out of the window. Into a black hole. That was on fire.
Because right now, I was Fanboying.
If I ask nicely, do you think I can have his autograph?
I was Fanboying HARD.
"Hey! Shinji-kun! It's good to see you!" Naruto's cheerful voice stirred me out of my reverie and I noticed that the rest of his team were following right behind him.
"Hello, Naruto-kun." I answered. "Long time no smell, you look like in high spirit?"
"Yeah!" The Orange Menace answered with his usual boundless energy. "We just came back from our mission! It was AWESOME! And we made some new friMMMMPHHH?"
"Sa, Sa, Naruto-kun…" His sensei interrupted him as he put a hand to muffle Naruto. "You don't happen to know where your sensei is, Shinji-kun?"
"Hum… Sorry, I've been helping all around the village recently… Haven't seen her in a while actually… I might see her at training tomorrow?"
"Oh, well, that's too bad. Anyway, if you manage to see her, please tell her that I'd like to see her at the earliest convenience? I'll make it up for you, promise."
And without waiting for my answer, the Jonin disappear in a flurry of leaves.
Why do they like to do that and not simply… Walk away?
Guess I'll never understand. Just like screaming your attack. I mean, unless you WANT to give your opponent some time to prepare, or mislead them, then that's just dumb.
Well, it sounds badass, I agree. But it's still dumb.
After coming back from my shock and curbing my Fanboy-ism, I noticed the rest of Konoha's team 4.
Naruto was as lively as ever, but I raised an eyebrow at the state of his second male teammate's clothes.
How to put it…
It looked like he just went out of a deathmatch against a S-Rank Missing Sewing-Machine…
I thankfully managed to throw my witty, sophisticated and funny remark in the back-burner when Moon-moon transmitted the suspicion and wariness coming from Naruto's female teammate through our Imprint.
"Well, it was good to see you three." I said as I started to walk pass them. "Sorry, but I have an alcoholic, depressive and terminally Nara to find… See you later?"
I used an Inuzuka Dash and turned a corner before they even had a chance to react. Then, after taking a few second to enjoy the fact that the Timeline was still on track, finished my run right in front of the doorstep our clan home.
I made it back home. I avoided TWO distractions without getting involved. I'm on fire lately!
Smiling to myself, I pushed the front door open. Now I just need to seclude myself in my room, place a big, nice, sign saying 'You touch this door, I touch YOU' and take all the time I need to plan…
"NII-SAN!" GODFUCKINGDAMNIT!
Fortunately for my mid-section, no ICBM threw itself at me. Instead, Kiba and Hana were sitting beside each other in the foyer, Mom nowhere to be seen. Kiba simply smiled and waved at me as I put my jacket on the back of the sofa.
"It feels like an eternity since we didn't have the time to sit together without mom breathing above our neck …" Hana smiled as I (resignedly) took a seat in front of them.
"Yeah…Sorry…" The little pipsqueak said in a low voice. "Since I graduated, I've been doing missions with my team almost all the time…"
"Don't worry, Kiba. I've been swamped with work too since we somehow secured a… Rather sizeable funding for the clinic. My friends even joked that I'm living there now… So that's why I schemed this little plan…" Sis' eyes suddenly turned mischievous and in a puff of smoke, a pitcher of sake and three saucer cups appeared on the table. Coming from a storage seal.
"Moms on a mission, and you both are on leave, so the night is ours. I say, why don't we take that time to catch up and compare whatever mayhem we made since then, hmmm?"
"You are a terrible role model, sis'…"
The plan would have sounded nice. If I didn't have to plan for, you know, THE INVASION OF KONOHA!?
"I don't want to hear that from the guy who asked a tall, blue eyed, blonde and S-Rank to strip naked in front of him." Hana deadpanned as she poured the sake into the cups.
"Yeah! I heard about that nii-san! That was stupid!" Kiba laughed as he accepted the cup and took a tentative but eager sniff.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! AND WHO TOLD YOU THIS, KIBA!"
"Kurenai-sensei!" The pipsqueak answered shamelessly and took a sip of the fermented poison.
"And then! Hinata-kun directed a whole swarm of bees on the poor Shinobi and Shino-chan shut down his tenka… Tanki… His Chakra-thingy while he was distracted! They were so AWESOME!"
Kiba was getting more and more shitfaced as the night continued and we exchanged stories about our respective missions. Well, a few details were probably jumbled, but the proud smile of my little brother was heartwarming.
"Kiba, it's getting late. Why don't we all go to sleep? Shinji and I will stay to clean the table. You can tell us the rest of your story later?" Sis' was also showing symptoms of fatigue. Guess her quip about being swamped with work wasn't just an idle comment. Wimps.
"But I can help… *Yaaaawn*…" Kiba tried to protest, before his fatigue betrayed him.
"No 'but', little brother. You room, now." Hana said good naturally as our drunken little brother stood up from beside her and wobbled toward his bed.
After Kiba finally managed to find his room, sis and I stayed a few minutes in a comfortable silence, before I extended a hand to grab the three saucers in front of me.
"Shinji… You'll protect him… Right?"
Sis' suddenly weak voice stopped me and our eyes meet.
"Our little brother will participate in the next Chunin exam. Even if I wanted to stop him… I wouldn't. But you'll protect him… Right?"
I held her tired gaze for a few moments, before she took my silence as an approval and fell asleep on the sofa. Leaving me alone to think about what was about to come.
The Konoha Chunin Exam. Also known as The Konoha Crush.
Starting with Gaara's arrival,
Then Kabuto,
Then the Forest of Death,
Then Orochimaru,
Then the cursed seal,
Then the invasion…
Then the two-tails…
With me and my little brother and everyone right in the middle of the shitstorm that would rock this world to its core and trigger everything…
Now that I finally enjoyed a nice evening with my siblings and let my shoulders down… I realize that… Let's be frank… What kind of 'preparation' or 'plan' would make anything better? I'm outgunned. Utterly.
I should have spent a few more moment of my time with them…
The next morning, after making sure that my cute little brother had a fresh bottle of water on his night-stand and that sis' found her way toward her room before mom came home, my Friend and I arrived at training ground number four.
It was still deserted. I admit I didn't really look at the time before heading here.
Since we were alone, I sat on the floor and decided to take some time to think about the Timeline, and figure if anything had changed.
Team ICBM did their mandatory C-rank.
Neji-kun, Ten-ten and Lee deserved their place. No question asked.
I asked around in my free time with Anko. After our Chunin exam in Cloud, Itomi's team disbanded and decided to join the Genin Corps in different divisions. Never to be heard from again.
The Ino-Shika-Cho led by Asuma, the son of the Third Hokage, performed flawlessly in their own C-Rank mission.
Team 7 returned safe and sound from their C-turned-A-Rank. If Shikako's presence had changed anything, well, I was kept out of the loop.
Moral of the story: nothing changed. Everything I've done before this point had done NOTHING to change the Timeline. And here we are, one or two months before the meat grinder that is the Konoha Crush.
And so, I'm left with a simple question. A simple but depressing question.
Can anything be changed…?
"Hey...Shinji?"
It was reassuring, in a way. In the end the Timeline will continue, even without me…
"…Hey! Are you ignoring me?!"
Depressing. Because I hoped that I had changed anything, or did anything to change something… Even the smallest thing…
"STOP IGNORING ME, ASSHOLE!"
I was dragged back into the realm of the living as my reflexes made me block the kick that was heading straight to my head.
"KASUMI! What was that for?!"
"OH, FINALLY YOU'RE LISTENING?!" Kasumi screamed as she landed after the roundhouse kick that I blocked by pure reflex.
Kasumi and I stared at each other in silence, but surprisingly Kazumi broke our stalemate and grabbed my hand before dragging me away.
"Our team training is postponed and we're forbidden to be alone. Sensei's order. Let's get out of here. Preferably in a populated area."
And so, I followed Kasumi toward Konoha's shopping district.
And nothing happened.
I mean, the shopping district is always busy.
Hakimichi's restaurants, Yamanaka's flower shops, Ramen stands…
"Well, not that I don't like being here, Kasumi-chan, but…"
"Shut up… Just shut up… Just… You still haven't noticed the predator? We must stay hidden…"
Okay, what?
"The… What?" I asked bewildered. What was she even talking about?
"The predator!" Kasumi silently shouted, fear coloring her voice. "Shinobis from all over the elemental nations kept coming for the Chunin Exam but… Today… There's one that keep looking around… Trying to find a prey… And no one seems to notice anything…"
My first thought was 'paranoia', but my teammate looked genuinely scared. So, my second though was 'Orochimaru'.
"When I told this to sensei, she basically grounded Yama-kun in his clan compound and told me to find you and stay in populated areas. Why do you think I went out of my way to find you?" Kasumi angrily snarled between her teeth.
But suddenly, her tirade was cut short by the sound of a collision. Soon followed by a commotion.
"That hurt, brat…"
A few feet from us, Konohamaru was lying on his ass. In front of him were two foreign shinobis. A teenage girl with blonde hairs, wearing an oversized fan. The other was another teenager clad in a black uniform. And cat ears. Because why the fuck not. Both wearing the forehead protector of the Village Hidden in the Sand.
Wait… THE SAND SIBLINGS?! WE ARE HERE ALREADY!?
"Stop it, Kankuro. We're going to be scolded later." The blonde sister tried to reason with her brother.
Kankuro ignored his sister's advice and lifted Konohamaru off the ground.
"He hit me first. I hate impertinent brats like that." Kankuro ignored her advice. "Makes me want to break them…"
"Hey! Let him go!" I recognized Naruto's voice. And indeed, Team 7 was close by.
Naruto looked like he was about to jump and pummel the cat-eared boy. Sasuke was more guarded, but it was obvious at a glance that he was ready to strike. As for their Nara's teammate…
"Shinobi-san, may I remind you that the streets are regarded as civilian area and that violence in prohibited in these locations? If you wish to train, I'm sure there are several designated training sites allocated for your village…"
Unfortunately, Shikako's appeal to diplomacy didn't seem to hit the mark as the painted shinobi failed to release Konohamaru from his grasp.
"I should also point out…" I decided to give my two cents in the standoff that was happening in front of me. "Assaulting a civilian without a credible cause is enough to ban your team from the exam. I'm sure you don't want that…"
My interruption had at least the merit of making Kakuro pause for a second.
"But still, punching the grandson of the Third Hokage in broad daylight? Well… By any chance, does the words 'Political Shitstorm' mean anything to you?" I finished with my purest, most innocent and Saï-est smile.
The effect was immediate. Kankuro immediately paled and dropped Konohamaru like he was an explosive tag.
But before I could really enjoy the moment…
"Kankuro… You're a disgrace to our village…"
A new voice just… rasped.
Immediately, Kankuro's painted face became whiter as we all turned our gaze toward the voice that interrupted us.
And here he was. Gaara of the Desert.
Standing on a tree branch, completely nonchalant while irradiating killing intent.
The cheat code that Suna and Orochimaru were going to use to kill us all.
Kankuro froze in fear. Tamari froze in fear…
"iiiiiiii…" I suddenly became aware that my right arm was being pierced by my teammate's fingernails.
And indeed, Kasumi was also petrified from fear and whining a low whisper, using me as a shield against the red-haired boy that just entered the stage.
Gaara. Gaara of the Desert. A Jinchuriki like her sister. One that had NO control over his prisoner…
"G…Gaara… They… They challenged us!" Kankuro weakly tried to bargain. "You see, here's what happened…"
"Shut up. Or I'll kill you." The eyes of the red-haired boy narrowed on his brother.
Behind me, Kasumi strengthened her grip on my arm as she was trying to make herself smaller and smaller.
The sand siblings were in no better shape.
"So… Sorry Gaara, I was out of line… If was completely out of line, it won't happen again…" Kankuro weakly babbled.
Sand began to dance under the red-haired Sacrifice and he immediately reappeared in front of us.
"I'm sorry for any trouble they caused." Gaara bowed as he kept looking at us. No trace of remorse or honesty in his gaze. Just killing intent mixed with boredom.
"It was just a misunderstanding. It was nice to meet you." The Nara girl returned his bow.
Gaara ignored her and turned back toward his two terrified siblings.
"Let's go. We didn't come here to play games…"
And with that parting sentence THAT ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T RAISED ANY RED FLAG, the sand siblings left us and disappeared inside the crowd of merchants and civilians that the Chunin exam brought up.
"So… What was that all about? The Chunin what?" Naruto timidly asked.
"Errr... Boss? The exam that every Genin have to take in order to become a Chunin?"
I ignored the Dumbass Duo to look at Uchiha Sasuke. His gaze stayed for a moment at the direction the sand siblings used to disappear, before suddenly turning toward his black-haired teammate.
"That guy… With the gourd… His eyes…" He muttered.
"Be careful of him, Sasuke… His teammates… Were terrified of him…" Nara Shikako managed to whisper. "Not just scared… Straight up terrified. I don't know if there's anyone that scares me so much… More that Zabuza scared us…"
"S… Scared…? Terrified…?" The weak voice of Kasumi cut through the silence that followed Shikako's sentence, as she was still hiding behind me.
"It'sss… much more… When that… That MONSTER said 'shut up or I'll kill you'… He meant… 'Shut up or I'll kill you now'… He… He has already decided to kill them… He's just didn't… felt like it now…"
I guess it takes a Nekomata to recognize another psychopath…
Sasuke's eyes turned dark. His gaze focusing where the sand siblings disappeared.
I could only manage a weak sight as I grabbed my teammate's hand.
"Hey… Kasumi. It's over, he's gone. Let's go home, right?"
As the sand sibling and Konoha's team 7 parted ways, I dragged my unresponsive teammate toward her home.
Wait. Now that I think about it, where is her 'home' in Konoha anyway…?
Shit.
Fortunately for me, after dragging her for a few minutes, she suddenly woke up from her unresponsive state and forcefully removed her hand from my grasp.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing! You! What! What do you even think you're doing!"
Unfortunately for me, in her attempt to escape from my grasp after being in the presence of an unbridled Biju, her legs gave up and I had to grab her before she hit the ground.
"Good, you're back with us? Do you remember where you live?" I was way past my can-give-a-shit-o-meter. It's been a while.
As I helped her get on her legs again, I put one of her arms above my shoulder, Kasumi weakly directed me toward her home, which was…
…Oh, fuck me…
Of course, she lived in the district where Konoha put every resident Konoha doesn't trust yet…
The same apartment which housed…
"YOU! STAY AWAY OF NEE-SAN!"
As I was walking toward Kasumi's home, a young girl suddenly appeared and threw herself at me.
I mean… A six or five-year-old civilian girl tried to drop-kick me…
Should I take the hit and maybe take a foot or two back? To not hurt her feelings?
"WHO ARE YOU AND WHY IS NEE-CHAN WITH YOU?!" The little tyke ran between me and Kasumi, before throwing her arms wide in order to shield the Nekomata from me.
"Kotori-chan… Don't worry, that idiot is my teammate." Kasumi placed her hand on the little girl head while sporting a weak smile.
"Was the latter part of your sentence necessary?"
"Of course, we ARE teammates after all." Kasumi answered with a sly grin. "Anyway, this is Kei Kotori. She and her mother arrived recently and have been my neighbors since then. Kotori-chan? This is Inuzuka Shinji, I know that he smells bad, but he's actually okay. I mean he's decent… Or you can just ignore him?"
The little girl grabbed Kasumi's leg with her puffy little arms and… Pouted at me.
"I don't like him."
"Wow! That makes two of us, Kotori-chan!"
I threw my hands in the air out of annoyance and turned away from them. But before I could exit the stage and finally go back home, I heard Kasumi whispering...
"Shinji… It's alright? … Right? This exam… It's… Alright… Right?"
No. It's not… It's absolutely not…
Greetings, Ladies and Assholes. I'm Inuzuka Shinji.
Welcome to the Konoha Crush.