Like Gold

by cherrynojutsu

Sasuke grapples with love and intimacy regarding his developing relationship with Sakura after returning to the village from his journey of redemption. Kind of a character study on Sasuke handling an intimate relationship after dealing with PTSD/survivor's guilt for so long. Blank period, canon-compliant, Sasuke-centric, fluff and pining, slowly becomes a smut fest with feelings.

10. Volition

AN: Listen… school got hard again. Check on your teacher friends. We are not okay. ;_; Anyways, I'm sorry for the wait! Also there is, uh… some nsfw stuff in this chapter… kbye.😅

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Chapter 10: Volition

The mission goes well. They make it to the first location by the specified time on the second day of travel, atop a single, much larger variety of Sai's signature birds. It's a bit slower traveling than it was to Sand, as this journey there are no accompanying fan techniques to aid in updrafts, but the wind is with them on the way there, so they still make good time. Midmorning bandits are a bit of an odd breed, but eight to ten tends to be the time the sowers are furthest away from their property, toiling in the fields, so it makes sense.

They manage to take all of the bandits into custody with relatively little difficulty at the first stop; Shikamaru traps their leader as planned, so it's short work taking care of the rest of them. A few try to escape, but Sasuke's speed swiftly and efficiently negates those plans.

"You're fast," Choji remarks jovially, grinning as he ties the hands of one of their incapacitated detainees behind their back. "Sometimes we have to hop on Sai's bird to nail the getaways."

"That's true," Sai adds helpfully. "We are a productive combination, as Dickless expected. He may not be hopeless as a Hokage, after all."

Sasuke simply nods. Even he can admit that it's a well-devised team, an even rounding out of abilities; aerial arrival, strategy, incapacitation via heavy hitter, and speed. It's also probably the only squad of people currently in Konoha's ranks that would be comfortable going on a mission with him in the first place, other than Sakura or Naruto himself.

They leave the bandits in custody with allies from the Land of Rivers, situated at the nearest outpost to be taken in. Sasuke doesn't have the best reputation in this area, being the station at which the Akatsuki operated out of for most of the duration of their existence, so he hangs back from the group, unassuming, once they meet up with their allies, staying silent as Shikamaru does the talking. The Land of Rivers ninjas' gazes flicker to him briefly with something like morbid curiosity; not quite disgust, but definitely not any sort of warmth present.

Apparently hanging back was the right choice; Shikamaru looks at him and inclines his head once in subtle approval as they turn to leave.

After they make camp the second evening, barely a few miles north of their rendezvous point, Choji asks Sasuke if he can light the fire with his jutsu; it's apparent that he is the unofficial designated cook within this squad assignment, given his enthusiasm for food. In answer, Sasuke briefly inclines his head, then quickly ignites their gathered wood with a meager Katon no Jutsu. The flames lick at the corners of his mouth, leaving them slightly chapped; it's a feeling that he's well-familiarized with after so many years of use.

"Thanks! So much quicker than building a fire using Shikamaru's lighter," Choji offers, grinning before carefully laying out a small selection of rations as well as a few wild root vegetables he managed to gather in the short time the rest of them set up camp. There's salted pork intermixed with freshly rinsed chickweed, knotweed, and wild leeks. There wasn't quite enough time left to try hunting for live game while also trying to cover the ground they needed to cover before night fell.

Sasuke watches curiously as his old classmate prepares their meal, seated around the modest fire, Sai silently smiling a few feet away as if this is a social event and Shikamaru hanging further back, still standing, so he can smoke. Sasuke is thankful for the distance; he dislikes the smell of cigarettes.

He honestly isn't a huge fan of salted pork, though he'd eaten a fair amount of it while away traveling, given its convenience when one can't turn up wild game. It's not bad when prepared with other things, but it's salty on its own with a consistency he finds unpleasant. He's intrigued to see how Choji prepares it; it seems he plans to make soup, heating a fair amount of water in an earthenware pot over the fire. He's mildly amused when the man pulls out a spice kit from one of his pockets instead of a weapon, even moreso when he realizes the jars are unlabeled, clear and containing a variety of intermixed ingredients; they must be custom blends he prepares himself.

As Choji cuts the meat and briefly seasons it with one of the jars, Sai speaks up. "Choji utilizes a special blend of herbs and spices he creates himself for mission meals. He is quite the chef; it makes our food less wearisome, and quite good if we have time to hunt wild game."

Sasuke nods, knowing the explanation is for his benefit.

"Yup. This stuff makes even salt pork edible. It's a special mix; orange peel, ginger, sesame, chiles, and nori. Adds some spiciness to help cancel out a bit of the saltiness, and the water helps dilute that, too." He slips the meat into the pot to boil, adding a few shakes of the spice mix directly into the water, as well, before shifting his focus to the plants. "A little chickweed adds some grassy freshness, and wild leeks give it more of a garlic onion-y taste. The knotweed I'll add before both of those, though; if you simmer it a bit, it gets more on the savory end rather than tart sweet."

It sounds good enough; Sasuke is just content in the fact that they won't be consuming the salt pork on its own. It's a tranquil silence as they sit there, crickets emerging as the air further cools and Choji leisurely adding ingredients and stirring.

Eventually it's done, and Choji pours everyone a bowl filled with vegetables and pork chunks.

Sasuke comments quietly, "It's good," because it is; slightly savory, salty, with a hint of garlic and spice that makes it incredibly flavorful. Choji nods in acknowledgment, not stopping in his sipping of his own bowl.

"I have learned through past experience that it helps to get to know your comrades better by asking them questions," Sai says after a few minutes are spent sipping, smiling in that weird detached way he has. "A book I read had a helpful list, so I memorized them. I will ask a few every night."

The questions are extremely odd and overly specific, random knowledge that one would likely never need, but Choji and Shikamaru seem used to this sort of off the cuff query, so Sasuke makes an effort to answer them simply without further comment unless spoken to. Choji and Shikamaru also answer, followed by Sai answering his own question, and he learns a little about his comrades and who they have grown to be, although he's not sure it's profoundly helpful information.

"How many pancakes have you eaten in one sitting?" Sai asks first.

"I don't like sweets," Sasuke answers evenly after a long pause. He realizes after saying it that it's not really an answer, and that there was another life years ago where he did eat pancakes and rather enjoyed them, but then Choji is answering, grinning sheepishly in between sips.

"Uh… I think twelve."

Shikamaru sighs, surveying the foliage around them with the seasoned eyes of a mission leader as if conversating is a chore. "Three."

"Two for me." Sai says at the end, smiling way too widely.

The following question is whether anyone in their party is double-jointed, but no one is, so that conversation doesn't really go anywhere. He still smiles eerily as if this is wonderful information.

The third question is, "If you could only keep one sense, such as hearing, touch, sight, smell, or taste, which would you choose?"

Sasuke blinks, considering for only a moment before answering, for a variety of reasons, "Sight."

Sai smiles directly at him. "Me, as well."

"Me, too," Shikamaru adds before looking at Choji knowingly, corners of his mouth pulling upwards from the thin line it's been the entire day.

Choji grins, caught. "Taste for me, though Karui would kill me."

There must be a girl, Sasuke surmises as Shikamaru chuckles, briefly attempting to place the name, but it doesn't ring any bells.

At the next dawn, they return stolen property to the smallfolk between their current location and the next location. Many of them also eye Sasuke warily, but he tries to shrug it off and simply keeps his distance, guarding the remaining unclaimed goods. Choji and Sai take charge of returning the rest of the items, Shikamaru communicating with the owners of each farm.

They're off to their next stop, further north, just after lunch. It only takes a day and a half to get to this location. Sai asks more questions each night, ranging from simple to complex.

"If you could only drink coffee or tea for the rest of your life, which would you choose?"

Sasuke answers tea after little to no thought. Shikamaru answers coffee, and Choji deliberates for the better part of a few minutes before answering and nodding to himself, "Tea, 'cause I could get the coffee flavor from coffee flavored desserts, but tea-flavored desserts aren't as good."

"I would choose tea, because Beautiful loves it, as well," Sai says, grinning, before launching his next question with no wait time. "If you had the opportunity to become immortal, would you take it?"

Shikamaru appears slightly perturbed by that question, but answers simply, resolutely, "No." Choji also answers no.

"No," Sasuke echoes at the end, before Sai agrees, also saying no.

"I am glad to be bonding like this with friends," Sai remarks.

By the third stop, it's close to a routine; trap the leader, incapacitate the remainders, collect the property, seek out the owners to return stolen goods, cover ground, set up camp. It's also blazing hot outside by then, an extensive heatwave now coupled with high humidity creeping in that makes being outside far from pleasant. It's the type of heat where one is constantly drenched in sweat, regardless of the amount of physical activity they do. It requires frequent water breaks to stay hydrated.

His bad arm begins to bother him.

Humidity and barometric pressure changes from the weather tend to exacerbate it; he assumes it must be the residual nerves and tissues expanding, inflaming the sensitive area similar to the manner in which arthritis can flare up when the weather changes.

For the time being, he swallows pain reliever pills that dull the pain in paltry increments every four hours, takes extra care doing his nightly stretching, and manages to deal with it; he's had a lot of practice in that, over the past couple of years.

Sleep offers only a hint of relief; he wakes up early for his turn keeping watch one night, then again the next, tossing and turning before stirring and rubbing at his stump surreptitiously so as not to gather the notice of his comrades.

At least it's not a nightmare, he thinks wryly, gaze trained on the clear sky above him in between tired blinks, downing water and trying to ignore the ache in what remains of his left humerus bone. It's still sweltering, even at night.

Sasuke estimates they're on track to return to the village on Tuesday as expected, though perhaps slightly later in the evening, should the heat continue like this.

Sakura will be off work by later in the evening. He should ask her to look at his arm, when he sees her.

---

"We're turning in early tonight," Shikamaru pragmatically informs them on the cusp of returning the last of the property from the third locale. "It's unwise to travel at peak hours in this weather; on the birds, we'll have speed and a little breeze, but we'll also be in the worst of the direct sunlight. We'll leave at four tomorrow morning, before the sun's beating down. We'll likely have to stop for an hour or two's break somewhere in there. Don't get dehydrated."

Due to setting up camp earlier than usual, they have time to hunt local game. Sasuke efficiently procures a duck with a single well-aimed kunai to its throat. He begins the process of plucking away its feathers in the clearing they've selected, staying away from the heat of the fire, lest he sweat more than he already is. Choji arranges more gathered greens a few feet away.

It's pretty good, once it's finally ready. Choji must be familiar with cooking nearly anything. He bites into tender meat, fragrant with thyme, clove, and sage, fastidiously eating around the fat; he's never been much one for the texture of it.

Sai has a few more questions for the group as they eat their meal.

"What is one fruit you like and one fruit you dislike?"

Sasuke contemplates for a long moment; he's not much one for any kind of fruit, really, other than tomatoes, but he knows the question is probably being asked more in terms of commonly regarded fruits, ones that are sweet.

"Lemon," he finally says. Then, by reason of it being the sweetest fruit he can think of, "I don't like mangoes."

Sai smiles at him. "I like bananas, and I dislike kiwi."

"I like all fruit, honestly," Choji says in between bites of roast duck. "Is squash a fruit? There are some varieties of squash I don't like."

"Squash is a fruit, categorically," Shikamaru confirms tiredly, before taking another bite and chewing slowly. Choji nods, mouth full.

Sai stares at their squad leader pointedly until he sighs deeply.

"Cranberries, I guess. Roasted."

For some reason, Choji snickers. Sai also smiles, as if he is in on a joke.

"With sweet chestnuts, right?"

Shikamaru casts an unimpressed glance in Choji's direction before muttering, "Yeah."

There is a lengthy pause before Sai asks, "And one you dislike?"

Their leader turns his gaze back to the dwindling campfire. "Peaches. They're fine, but eating them is too messy."

Sai dips his head once, then takes a measured bite, chewing methodically. The sun has slipped just below the horizon; an owl hoots in the nearby tree cover.

"Do you have a favorite season?"

"...Yes," Sasuke answers quietly, carefully, without further elaboration; he didn't ask specifically which one. His replacement raises an eyebrow, but doesn't push.

"Fall for me," Choji says jovially. "The harvest is the best time of year for sure."

"Fall," Shikamaru echoes. "Nice weather."

"Fall is enjoyable," Sai agrees. "It is hard for me to choose. Fall's colors are quite evocative." He chews as if in contemplation, swallowing before continuing. "Winter's colors are more calming, but offer less room for color experimentation that is not washed out in nature. Summer offers a more varied palette."

Dark eyes flick to Sasuke's as he takes another bite of his food with his single hand.

"Spring is enjoyable, too, though," his replacement concludes. "It is when the flower shop is at its loveliest, and much meaning can be derived from the language of blooms."

---

Sasuke's assessment of their return time was correct; the village is within sight just after eight in the evening. The bird lands on the path just beyond the gates, and they walk the remainder of the way to report in at the Hokage's Office.

"Good work," Shikamaru says as they disperse into the street.

Sasuke nods before heading in the direction of Sakura's. It's still pretty hot out, even now as the sun is sinking into the horizon. He briefly entertains the notion of swinging by his own apartment first for a shower, but he's missed her.

He knocks on a sage green door, noting that another flower clipping has been taken from her selection; this time it's one of the daffodils, clipped neatly away from its remaining brethren. Perhaps she has a vase in her bedroom where she puts them; thus far he hasn't seen anything other than dried flowers adorning her main living space. Sai's musings on bouquets briefly occupy his thoughts; he wonders what types of flower arrangements Sakura must make, and where she places them. Perhaps at the top of a dresser, practical and meaningful in what each part of the arrangement may represent to her, brightening a room with soft hues and subtle aromas. Given her friendship with Ino, she must be well-versed in ikebana.

Muffled voices sound inside, more than just Sakura's; he swallows down the tadaima hovering just below his throat, and then Sakura is opening the door, cool air slipping from her apartment and her face lighting up when she sees it's him. Something stirs just behind his ribs, tender yet compelling.

"Sasuke-kun," she murmurs softly, stepping aside. "Come in! Ino's here."

"Not for long!" Calls a sing-song voice from further into her apartment as Sasuke steps through the threshold and ambles to the side. Before he even finishes slipping off his shoes, Ino has appeared in the entryway, clutching a stack of papers and grabbing her own sandals haphazardly from the rug. "I'll just be taking these with me to make some critiques."

Sakura sighs, a lengthy exhalation of air loaded with meaning. "Okay, okay." She pauses, as if something has just occurred to her. "Sai could look at them too, actually. He's so direct that it might be helpful."

Ino snickers in a manner that is incredibly suggestive, slipping by Sasuke and out the door in a whirlwind of blonde hair. "He'll be busy for at least a few hours, but sure."

Sakura makes a noise that can only be interpreted as, "Ugh," and Ino laughs from the landing.

"Oh, yeah, welcome back or whatever, Sasuke!" Ino calls as she heads down the stairs, apparently just then coming to the realization that this is the first time she's seen him since his return to the village. Then she's out the main door.

Sasuke blinks as Sakura shakes her head, closing the door. The exchange happened so quickly that her hand never even left the door frame.

"...Research?" He asks curiously, rising to his full height and curious about the papers. It almost has to be; she did say Ino helps at the hospital sometimes.

She sighs and nods, turning back to him. "Yeah. Just some outlines and documentation we're working on." Her hands slip behind her back to clasp together, demure body language he very clearly recognizes from their Genin days. "Anyways, did you just get back?"

He inclines his head, and a soft smile blooms on her lips; it's one he's desperately missed over the past eight days.

"That's good. How was your mission?"

"It was fine."

Sakura arches an eyebrow as if asking him to elaborate, so he adds, "...Hot."

She shifts slightly, seeming contemplative. "Yeah, it's been hot here, too. And humid. A bit of a heatwave, honestly; I'm sure it's the first of many for the year."

He'll have to water the lilies later, then, he thinks. Hopefully they're fine; the label seemed to imply they're fairly hardy in hotter weather. He searches her gaze as the seconds stretch further, familiar jade affection he's missed, before deciding to ask. He would really like to kiss her hello, but being caught off guard by Ino's abrupt departure seems to have gotten the tadaima jammed in his throat, and his stump is still bothering him.

"...Could you look at my arm?"

Fine pink brows rise a little, almost as if in surprise.

"Of course. Come in," she replies, near beaming as if she is pleased as she heads into the living room. He follows her to the couch. The cool air is more apparent in the main portion of her apartment; it feels nice, after hours in the wilderness's heat, though he's still somewhat sweaty. He definitely needs a shower; he hopes he doesn't smell terribly bad.

"Is it an injury, or..?" Sakura's voice trails off, inquisitive as she sits in the center of her couch.

Ah. He's going to be sitting closer to her than he normally does, here.

"No," he answers, taking a seat near her on the opposite side he usually does, since it will give her better access to his stump. "...Humidity irritates it." He neatly rolls up his empty sleeve, near to the shoulder, to give her access.

Her hands skim his skin attentively, and he tries not to twitch or be self conscious about it. It feels... different, in the privacy of her home rather than an exam room within the context of the hospital.

Then her chakra is melting in, offering near instantaneous relief, worlds better than stretching or a pill. He barely manages to hold back a sigh.

"That makes sense. it's inflamed a bit," she assesses softly, eyes trained on his stump. "Barometric pressure change probably causes the tissue to expand or contract. Does it bother you in the cold?"

"...Sometimes. If there's more moisture in the air."

Her face is focused as she inclines her head once, intent on the task at hand.

"Any redness or areas that feel warmer than usual this time?"

He shakes his head, discreetly exhaling. He could nearly close his eyes right now, the welcome relief of her chakra sinking into the nerve endings like her presence sinks into his being.

It doesn't take quite as lengthy of a session this time as it did at his physical; the pain lessens to hardly anything after only two or three minutes, her gingerly threading tendrils into the tissue, nerve endings wrapped up in the cocoon of alleviation that is her chakra.

Then it dissipates, and she's rubbing soothing circles to prolong the effect. A few minutes pass in a comfortable silence, though he still feels a bit self conscious.

He greatly enjoys it. Probably too much. He keeps his gaze resolutely locked on the bookshelf arranged near the far wall, trying to regulate his pulse.

Eventually her fingers revolve in smaller circles until they're hardly moving at all. Still, the touch lingers, affection against what's left of his bicep.

When he finally sneaks a glance downwards in curiosity, his neck suddenly feels warm, because her eyes catch his, green incandescent in the late evening light.

"Thank you," he says in a near whisper, making no effort to vacate her space despite the fact that she's obviously finished.

Her fingers make one more arch on his skin, the treasured salve of home.

"You're welcome," Sakura murmurs just as quietly, cheeks flushing as her eyes flicker down to his mouth for a millisecond, then back up.

"I missed you," she adds, blush a deepening gradient from pink to red as her words burrow into his heart.

Sasuke leans in to press his lips to hers in answer.

This kiss feels like an ache for more, any distance between them vanishing in a steady reverberation of mouths meeting. Eight days apart extinguishes most of his reservations about wanting more than one. They barely part for a breath, noses bumping together a little, and then coalesce once more. It's sweet divinity, freeing and untethered from any structure or worrying responsibilities, no weight sinking his insides laced with his uncertainty. There is no deserving, no complication, just her lips fully against his and the tips of her fingers still gently dotting his bicep.

He breathes in the scent of berry once they part for the fourth or fifth time - he's lost count - before finally getting the word out of his throat.

"...Tadaima."

"Okaeri," she responds immediately, as if she was waiting for it, smiling and hands shifting gently up his shoulder to pull his sleeve back into place. His gaze follows them with interest as vines twist into his ribs. "Did you eat dinner? Ino and I made myoga shisu rice and okra ohitashi; there's leftovers."

A beat passes before he can process her words, distracted as he is by her hand on his stump.

"...I didn't eat," he manages as her hand finally falls away. "...I should probably shower."

Sakura tucks a lock of rosy hair behind her ear, expression slightly timid.

"You could come back, after, maybe?" She suggests softly, in a tone as hopeful as the look in her eyes.

He acquiesces easily, nodding and pleased by the way her face instantly relaxes. His heart swells with gratitude and the recall of seafoam, warmed by the promise of precious company and her home's soft refulgence.

A shower, dinner, tea, and a memorial stone visit later, he returns to his own apartment. He sets his canteen on the counter for washing after its lengthy usage. The soil surrounding the bulbs hadn't looked overly dry; not much different from when he'd left, really, but he'd given them a drink anyways. Small steps are something he can allow now, he thinks. Little by little.

He lifts his comforter, crawling into a bed for the first time in over a week. That's a nice comfort, too, one he's already getting more used to, sleeping on a mattress regularly.

He falls into an inauspicious agony solicited by a list of names. Konoha has that effect on him.

Sometimes his nightmares are just reliving that day with very little change. Dark streets littered with bodies loom before him, pale and cold and unfeeling, demanding revolution in a symphony of empty stares, a crescendoing, deafening silence that nearly ruptures his eardrums in its severity.

I gave it to you, he screams from a throat that makes no sound, the sane portion of his brain and the majority of his left arm cleaved away, hashed with oblivion and dread as he comes upon his childhood home and dark wood floors with fuzzy vision. I gave it to you, and look what it cost.

He half expects to find his missing limb clinging to his mother's hand, a macabre metaphor to bring new loss to this room he feels like he's been locked in over half his life, but it's absent as always, lost to split atoms fortified with his very own brand of cruelty.

It's too bad; it would be fitting. There is a part of him that feels as if it is buried here, asphyxiating sluggishly for the rest of eternity, reaching for a vulnerability that he can't reclaim no matter how hard he struggles. The only interconnected pools here are his parents' blood, sinking into the wood grain as their bodies grow colder, a matrimony exanimate.

When he tears his gaze away from them, his father folded over top of his mother like they were nothing more than children's marionettes, the eyes he meets are his own, bellicostic and dispiteous charcoal, ready to burn down the earth.

---

The next day is possibly the hottest yet. Sasuke spends most of it indoors, awake much too early and watching the light trickle in through his living room window. He sips hot tea, entirely unsuited for this type of weather, wondering for hours whether his elder brother felt locked in that room, too, nauseous with grief and recalling the warmth of their mother's hands.

Once his pulse has leveled out and his eyes are less bloodshot, he makes a quick morning trip to the grocery store to restock his refrigerator. He tries to ignore the woman across the market whose eyes flash with disdain upon noticing him; he doesn't have the energy to care right now.

He goes to the library after methodically organizing everything, a study in distraction. His old books are returned and new ones take their place. They'll keep him occupied until seven, when Sakura finishes at the hospital. Normally he'd try to seek out Naruto for a spar in the early evening, but it's far too hot today even for simple taijutsu training.

He delves into words on paper for hours, trying to replace words etched in stone, intermixed with doing laundry.

---

"So this is a pretty common one," Sakura begins as she unscrews a small vial and places the lid on the pale wood below them, atop the scroll she's unrolled. The sun is just beginning to slip below the horizon; its light stretches from her window all the way to her living room floor, where they've sat so she can show him part of the process of poison neutralization. He didn't ask, but he assumes it's safer to do here than atop the table she usually eats off of.

"It's the neurotoxin that causes tick paralysis. We get this one more frequently than others at the hospital, though usually it's from an actual tick than from a poisoned weapon. It's easily treatable by removing the tick from the body."

Sasuke nods, eyeing the venom in her hands. That was one of the first lessons on common poisons learned at the Academy when they were kids, no more than six years old. Ticks abound the trees throughout the Land of Fire, and even if they weren't training to traipse around the continent on missions eventually, just living here would expose one to the insects on a regular basis. His mother used to check him for ticks upon returning from afternoons spent with Itachi in the woods, combing through his dark hair carefully and parting his toes to make sure there were none of the pests wedged between them. Standing on one foot back then had been difficult; his brother had let him lean on him to ground his balance.

Sasuke trains his eye on the light wood below him, and the scroll, to ground himself. Ink on parchment text, not stone.

"It doesn't produce enough toxin right away to cause symptoms; it has to be attached at least five days before it really starts circulating and causing problems. This is a more concentrated dose, so injection with this would start to cause paralysis and anaphylactic issues within a few minutes. Respiratory paralysis is also a concern in a dose this concentrated; presynaptic inhibition of neurotransmitter release via a calcium dependent mechanism. Essentially it makes it so your neuromuscular synaptic system can't transmit cues to itself."

Sakura shifts a sample tile filled with some kind of stretched tissue, near bubblegum pink in color, open with her other hand and places it on the center of the scroll, murmuring, "And this is a sample of skeletal muscle tissue. The scroll will stimulate it in a way that a nervous system would, causing movement."

Meticulously neat, she shifts the tissue from the glass slide onto the scroll with an ease that implies years of practice. She then bites her thumb, swiping the meager amount of blood onto an empty space of the parchment, one with a narrow divet that leads to the center.

"It's not an exact match for sending a signal the way your brain would to your body, but the blood has enough neurotransmitters contained within it to make the muscle react slightly."

Sakura's blood inks its way into the divet slowly from the right side, barely an inch away from the center. Sure enough, the stretched tissue begins to twitch. Not a lot, but just enough to be noticeable to the naked eye.

"It's more noticeable if you have a microscope; we have those at the hospital, obviously, but they're delicate, so it's not the best to transport one back and forth," she adds as they watch. Her thumb glows faintly with green chakra; she must be healing the sliver of a wound her teeth left behind. "I do have a magnifying glass, though." She gestures to the tool, lying next to the scroll on her floor. Her hand is occupied, so he takes that to mean he should lift it. Its handle is well-worn; it must be an older one.

It's even more intensely pink under the glass, peppered with small bluish gray dots. It's strange, watching it twitch. He briefly wonders where the hospital gets its samples. Skeletal muscle tissue probably isn't the most pleasant to harvest; it likely has to come from organ donors.

"Now we add the poison," Sakura says, so he moves the glass away. She pours the tiny amount of poison contained within the vial into another empty space on the parchment, connected to the center by another divet.

The neurotoxin trickles in, and the muscle laggardly begins twitching more erratically before ceasing, twitching slightly every now and then.

"That's ataxia," Sakura offers. "It's a symptom; lack of coordination in neurotransmissions. They're firing, but not connecting. This is the part where hopefully we'd find the tick and remove it completely before it becomes more serious, symptom-wise. Typically once the poison is no longer being introduced to the system, it wears off and things go back to normal. Being that this is a concentrated dose, that won't happen here, so we need an antidote."

She screws the lid back on the empty poison vial and sets it aside before grabbing the next vial and an empty syringe.

"This is an antivenom, developed with mice," she begins, carefully moving a vial with a green label on it close to the syringe. "Depending on the type of venom, we sometimes have to use other animals. If it's a particularly strong venom, though, mice are best because we can breed multiple generations of them quickly and increase their resistance each time, resulting in their bodies producing a strong antibody that we can then harvest, separate, and mix with something more palatable to the human body. Typically it has to be refrigerated. Then the antibody tells the body how to fight the neurotoxin."

She pours it into the syringe, then sets the empty vial aside to grab another; this one has a yellow label.

"This is the drug neostigmine," Sakura explains. "We use it to end anesthesia, most commonly, but anesthesia itself is simply a neuromuscular blocking medication, so it's treating a similar problem here. This will reduce the ataxia temporarily, and allow the antivenom to do its job. It works by blocking the action of acetylcholinesterase and increases the levels of acetylcholine, which is what we want." She pours it into the syringe as he mentally tries and fails to place the difference between acetylcholinesterase and acetylcholine.

She grabs the last vial. "And this is just a saline solution to fill it out. We use more of this than the other two ingredients so that it's diluted enough to be delivered efficiently." She pours it in, then proceeds to put the end back on the syringe, tipping it back and forth a few times to mix the solution together.

"Then you just inject it, like this." The tip of the syringe sinks into the pink of the now still sample, paralytic in full effect.

She's just pushing the top of the syringe downwards, antidote concoction releasing into the muscle tissue, when Sasuke hears the twist of a key in the lock on her door, then the sound of it slowly opening.

"It is time for bonding," his replacement's voice, familiar at this point, calls.

"Surprise, Sakura-chan, teme! It's Team Seven movie night! I hope we're not interrupting anything. I was just telling Sai that-" Another familiar voice cuts off, barreling through the entryway into the main living space of Sakura's apartment only to freeze. Sai follows closely behind, a key and a bag in hand that appears to be filled with food.

There is a prolonged pause as they take in each other, Sakura holding the syringe still, muscle beginning to spasm more regularly again below them. Naruto blinks in confusion, twitching. Sai doesn't react at all, as if this scene is par for the course, just smiling away.

Sasuke's gaze lingers curiously on the key in Sai's hand, brows furrowing and something like jealousy turning over in his gut.

"Are you teaching Traitor how to neutralize poisons?"

Then,

"This… what're… How did I get put on a team with such nerds?!"

Sasuke twitches in annoyance, and Sakura scrupulously pulls out the syringe, frowning.

"This nerd has saved your life more times than I can count on both hands," Sakura reminds him, rolling her eyes before capping the tip of the needle. "But I'll remember that the next time you need someone to manually pump your heart for you."

Immediately Naruto looks sheepish. "Uh, I mean yeah, you're amazing and all that, Sakura-chan! Don't get me wrong! But like, couples are supposed to do couple stuff in their free time, like bake sweets or try new ramen recipes or make out or something. Not science experiments! This is your idea of fun?" He marches closer to where they are on the floor, peering down at the blob of now twitching muscular tissue as if it has personally insulted him.

"It's useful," Sasuke challenges defensively, scowling and neck warming at the term make out, recalling instantly the kissing that occurred on her couch yesterday, just a few feet away. "She's an expert. You're just an idiot."

"That's true," Sai says, and Sasuke isn't sure if he's referring to the former statement or the fact that Naruto's an idiot. The dobe himself glares at Sai - Sasuke takes that to mean the affirmation meant both - and then sighs, seeming outright offended at the idea of anyone doing anything remotely educational in their free time. His mouth twitches like he's straining to come up with words that are escaping him.

"Also, Traitor does not enjoy sweets," Sai adds helpfully, at which Naruto gives him a dirty look.

"I know that! It's just, this is gross. What is that, even?" The blond reaches out like he's going to touch the now moving sample, until Sakura slaps his hand away.

"There's venom in there, Naruto!" She scolds warningly as if he's a child. Her face is red for some reason.

"Natural selection at work," Sasuke retorts at their teammate's expense, sufficiently annoyed. The dobe glares right back before switching his gaze to Sakura, who is beginning to gather up her tools and roll up the scroll.

"Well, anyways, Sakura-chan, I'm sorry for interrupting your science experiments with teme, but we're here for Team Seven movie night! We even got snacks! Your favorites. And some for teme to try, too! Can we, pretty please? Pretty please?"

"Beautiful said not to take no for an answer. Sai smiles easily, visibly shifting the key slightly in his fingers as if to illustrate his point.

Ah. It's Ino's.

Any remnant of jealousy evaporates. He would never in a million years give Naruto a key to his own apartment, best friend or not, but women are different that way, and Ino must be at Sakura's regularly, given the research session he walked in on the tail end of yesterday.

Sakura sighs as she finishes gathering up her things from the floor, beginning to put them into the sealed carrying case she brought them home in. Momentarily she glances at Sasuke, a sweeping of jade that wordlessly communicates What can you do? before moving to rise, so Sasuke does, too.

"Alright. I work at eight tomorrow, though, so you're out of here by ten."

Sai nods as Naruto looses a holler in celebration that must be heard by every other tenant in the building; Sakura scolds him for his outburst while Sasuke considers if that includes him.

"Sakura-chaaaaaan, it's brick! There's no way they could hear me."

"Everyone in a three mile radius heard you, idiot," Sasuke quips as Sakura rolls her eyes again.

"That is likely true," Sai agrees as Naruto launches an evil eye at Sasuke, prompting the dobe to turn to glare kunai at his replacement, too.

"Anyways, let me put this stuff away and then we'll see what you have." Sakura quickly disappears into the entryway, carrying case in arm, likely to put it back into her tote bag where she procured it from earlier. Then she comes back into the main living space, motioning for the three of them to follow her to the kitchen, where she begins washing her hands. Sasuke trails behind Naruto and Sai, watching as they both begin to unpack various food items from the bag they've set on the counter. Sasuke's not particularly hungry given he and Sakura ate a little over an hour ago, but she also wants him to gain weight, so eating more wouldn't be the worst thing.

"I was unsure what Traitor's favorite snacks are," Sai reveals, glancing back at Sasuke with a smile. "My reconnaissance helped rule several options out."

Sasuke blinks in bewilderment as his replacement pulls out several things from his bag. A package that appears to contain yuzu candy is first, advertising a sour taste.

"Dunno if you'll like it, but the store guy told us this was tart, teme, not sweet," Naruto says, unpacking his own bag and pulling out a small pink package. "And this is sakura chocolate! We had to get it for you, Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke glances at Sakura, now wiping her hands before coming to stand near them. She meets his eyes before she smiles, turning back towards the rest of their team. "Thank you."

Naruto laughs. "Welcome! And this is for you, too. Ume chocolate. I figured you probably had some stashed, still, but we picked one up just in case." He pulls out another package similar in style, possibly from the same brand. Sasuke's gaze lingers on it curiously, trying to memorize the insignia; it must be a favorite of hers.

"Thank you," Sakura murmurs, this time more quietly.

Sai continues pulling things out of his bag - several different flavors of chips, a strange long-packaged candy, a grouping of cans filled with a drink that appears to be alcoholic - as Naruto stills as if he has remembered something and turns to peer at Sakura mischievously.

"By the way, Sakura-chan…"

Sasuke's eye flits to Sakura curiously. She's stiffened, as if she has been caught red-handed.

"Have you showed teme your contraband drawer yet? The one filled with all sorts of candy and snacks?"

Sasuke resists the urge to snort, utterly amused as her brow furrows and an amaranth blush inks its way into Sakura's cheeks.

She would.

"I'll take that as a no. Allow me!"

Naruto marches over to a bottom drawer on the other side of the kitchen that Sasuke has never seen her open, one of the most spacious in terms of vertical space, and pulls it open as if he owns the place, sniggering.

The kitchen is small enough that even from the other side of the room, Sasuke can see it's nearly filled to the brim with several varieties of sweets, cataloged in a fashion that reminds him of a filing cabinet, so utterly Sakura. One of the packaging designs in the corner matches the ume chocolate, but there are several others, all in bright colors and clearly advertising that they are the variety of snack or candy that has zero nutritional value. There are also several bottles of what appear to be alcoholic beverages. He's not terribly familiar with alcohol, so it's difficult to place what kinds from this distance, drawer cutting off the majority of their labels. They appear to be packed in quite efficiently, in a manner that would prevent them from tipping over.

He feels a smirk tug at the corners of his mouth. His eye flits from the drawer to Sakura, only to see that she's somehow gotten redder.

"Yup. Great. Thank you so much for that, Naruto," Sakura mumbles in a stiff voice that suggests there will be later retribution of some nature for this revelation, crossing the room to close the drawer in embarrassment. Their teammate just laughs, turning heel to return to the counter where Sai has finally finished pulling food out of bags.

Sasuke manages to catch her gaze as she also returns to the main counter, smirking as she looks away, clearly embarrassed but also extremely pretty.

"It is quite amusing," Sai mentions, though he shows no outward emotion whatsoever, sliding the bag towards the back portion of the counter.

"Well, now that we've revealed all of the secrets of my kitchen…" Sakura says, shifting to grab a stack of plates from her cupboard, Sasuke assumes for the food; Naruto's manners may have improved in the time he's been gone, but his tendency to leave crumbs everywhere he goes likely hasn't.

"Ugly said you like green tea, so we picked these. The sea salt should counteract the lingering sweetness. I hope you are not allergic to almonds," Sai murmurs. Sasuke's vision shifts back to the counter where Sai is gesturing towards a green package, labeled matcha roasted almonds.

"...I do," Sasuke answers, meeting Sakura's gaze appreciatively as she comes back to the counter, still pink-cheeked. He holds her eye for a second before turning it back to Sai. "I'm not allergic. Thank you."

His replacement's facial expression doesn't change at all. He simply nods, arranging things in an organized fashion on the counter. A bag of azuki chips has been shifted near the candy reserved for Sakura. Naruto snatches a package of strawberry mochi from what must be his own pile and puts it back in one of the bags, adding, "This is Hinata-chan's favorite. I'll just set it aside, so..."

"So you don't get hungry after consuming three thousand calories in one sitting and eat them all again?" Sakura challenges, setting plates on the counter. The kitchen feels a bit more cramped with four people gathered around instead of the usual two. Sasuke snorts at Naruto's expense, who abruptly turns to frown at him as Sai separates the cans from their carrier. Sasuke can now see they are labeled as being something called lemon chu-hai.

"Laugh at me again, bastard, and there will be no snacks or booze for you!" Naruto gripes as Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Dickless said you enjoy tasteless foods, so we also acquired plain sea salt popcorn," Sai mentions, gesturing towards yet another small package. Sasuke resists the urge to twitch as Naruto begins to barrage Sai with threats at the usage of his colorful nickname.

"Stop calling me that!"

"And this is a drink we all enjoy; you can try it. It came with several cans in the pack. It is lemon, but it has a sweet aftertaste," Sai plows on, not reacting to Naruto at all as he sets his own foods on his plate before turning towards the living room, a drink in his other hand. Naruto continues to grumble as he proceeds to make his own mountain of calories, pouring them together in a jumbled mess on the plate Sakura has provided him with.

Sakura briefly makes eye contact with Sasuke, expression now much more that of amusement than embarrassment in reaction to their teammate's ridiculous eating habits. Naruto grabs a can before sauntering in the direction of Sakura's living room, too, twitching in irritation.

"You'd think he'd be used to the nickname by now," Sakura murmurs quietly as she begins filling her plate with a smaller amount of snack food and candy, keeping everything neatly sectioned. Sasuke nods slightly, in agreement on Naruto's nickname but also thinking that he still dislikes Sai's nickname for Sakura. He uses his teeth and his single hand to open his own packages. Sea salt popcorn, green tea flavored almonds, and sour lemon candy are an odd combination, but there's a part of him that's grateful for being included. He takes a healthy amount of the almonds for his own plate, as well as a tinier amount of the popcorn and one of the tart yuzu candies. He then eyes the remaining cans of the drink on the counter.

Sakura finishes sectioning her own plate before following his gaze. Her lips quirk upwards.

"I'm not sure you'll like it," she mentions, swiveling to procure a glass from her cupboard as he watches curiously. "I'll pour some of mine into a cup for you so you can try it."

"...Is it strong?" He asks as she opens the can and pours him a small amount.

Sakura inclines her head once in affirmation, handing the glass to him. Her fingers brush his as she does so.

He blinks before lifting the glass to take a sip. He's barely swallowed before he wrinkles his nose at both the harsh taste and the lingering sweetness in his mouth.

Sakura must find his reaction amusing, because she laughs softly, a high twinkling sound as she makes her way to her refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water for him, setting it by his plate. He's about to say something - he's not sure what - when Naruto reappears in the entryway of the kitchen.

"Oi, Sakura-chan! When did you-" Naruto stops mid-sentence, scrutinizing the glass in Sasuke's hand as Sasuke notes the Team Seven portrait in his. "Ugh, I missed it?! You're no fun! Did he make a stupid face, anyways?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes, turning to rinse out the glass in Sakura's sink so it doesn't dry sticky. Sakura says nothing, but he sees the corners of her mouth twitch upwards.

"Well, anyways, Sakura-chan, when did you put this picture out here?" He must not have noticed it earlier, distracted by the arrangement on the floor.

Sasuke half expects her to scold him for touching her things - a glass picture frame in Naruto's hands in general is an accident waiting to happen, let alone a Naruto who's just started drinking and with hands probably already covered in crumbs and candy coating - but when he glances at her, her face is flushed again for some reason.

"Oh." Sakura busies herself with adjusting the food on her plate and picking up her open can. "I… redecorated."

Sai reappears in the doorway, taking a more measured sip of his own drink. "The frame does not match the wood tones in your living room," he announces, blunt as ever and gesturing towards the picture in Naruto's hands. "Did you repaint your room?"

"Um, no, I just moved some things around," she explains, picking up her own plate to head to her main living space. "I thought it… might be nice to have out here. I've been meaning to get a new frame for it, actually."

Sasuke's heart turns over in his chest in appreciation as he finishes rinsing out the glass. Perhaps she truly did move it out here to make him feel more at home. Though he would struggle to vocalize it, the gesture means a lot to him.

"Well, I think it looks great out here, Sakura-chan!" The dobe trails behind her into the living room, followed shortly by Sai. Sasuke grabs his own plate and the water before he moves to leave as well.

"You are visually incompetent," Sai says in a monotone voice, taking the photo from Naruto's hand as Sasuke comes into the living room. He appraises the photo and then glances towards Sasuke, then back to the photo as if to compare his present self to his past self. Naruto splutters indignantly. "It is a highly accurate representation of the three of you, and Lord Sixth. A new frame will be necessary to tie it into the color palette utilized in this space."

"Yeah, I suppose it will be," Sakura agrees from the entertainment center, where she's going through the lower cabinet already; she must usually be in charge of grabbing whatever movie they end up watching at these get-togethers. She sounds happy, like she's really not the least bit affronted by Sai's lack of decorum.

Sai places the frame back on the shelf where it belongs as Naruto takes a seat close to Sakura's side of the couch, grabbing his plate of food from the table behind it. His replacement takes the farthest seat, where Sakura usually sits, as Sasuke blinks, disoriented.

"So what are we watchin', Sakura-chan?" Naruto asks, utterly oblivious to his careful analysis of the seating arrangement and the space left. It is suddenly crystal clear that he and Sakura will be sitting… rather close.

"Mmm… Maybe The Green Window again? We haven't watched it in a while." He finally makes his way around the sofa and settles mechanically on his usual end of the couch. "Have you seen it, Sasuke-kun?"

"...I haven't."

"It is a well-acted movie with a clear rising action," Sai explains impassively. "Structurally it is very sound, with visuals that make excellent usage of complementary color schemes for maximum impact. I enjoy it."

"Yeah, you gotta see the fight scene! They do all this crazy camera angle shit. It's the best." Naruto shoves an obscene number of chips into his mouth, though Sasuke notes he takes care to catch any crumbs with his plate.

"Okay, we'll go with that one, then." Sakura fiddles with the collection of movies she has in her cabinet, probably to locate the movie in question, as Sasuke eyes the empty space to his right.

It's not a large empty space. In fact, it's probably barely big enough for her to fit. He pops a single almond into his mouth to distract himself, vegetal flavoring saturating his tongue as he contemplates.

The flavor is decent; not too sweet. He exhales slowly as he begins to chew, thinking that he is being very stupid.

Sakura slips the movie into the player and uses the remote to set it up, before rising, grabbing her own plate of food and her drink, and turning towards the couch.

She blinks once, then twice, as if in surprise, and then she's continuing towards the sofa, eyes catching his and pink dusting her cheeks.

When she sits, he realizes it was even less space than he thought. Her left thigh slightly brushes his, closer to him than Naruto.

He forces his mind firmly blank as the movie starts, seeking focus on anything but the warmth pressed next to his right thigh. It's a decent movie - his replacement's assessment, as well as the dobe's for once, were correct - but he's less engaged with it than he should be. He finishes the small portion of almonds and the popcorn, holding off on trying the sour candy until they're nearing the end of the movie and he's drank most of his water to avoid creating an odd mix of tastes in his mouth.

It's not that bad, once he tries it, but he quickly decides to chew it and swallow.

He's too… distracted. Now isn't the most opportune time to let anything dissolve in his mouth.

Naruto gets up twice to refill his own plate and grab another can of the drink, but Sai and Sakura stay seated. They must have watched this movie several times and know the ending well, because the dobe hands his empty plate to Sakura at the cusp of what becomes the concluding scene; she stacks it underneath her own empty plate. Sai hands her his next, and then she's turning to Sasuke, smiling up at him.

Their fingers brush again as she takes his plate for him. Then she's rising to take them to the sink, warmth he's grown used to suddenly noticeably absent.

In that moment, her legs quickly pass within his direct line of sight as she makes her way to the kitchen, and he sees something he sort of wishes he hadn't.

Her shorts have ridden up a bit, enough to expose more of the skin on her legs.

There's a freckle, dainty, on the inner portion of her upper right thigh.

He averts his eyes quickly, trying his best to look nonchalantly at the wall before returning his gaze to the television playing the final scene, but it's too late; it's burned into his retinas.

Sasuke carefully exhales again as the credits begin to roll.

"Sakura-chan, these chu-hai are hitting me a lot harder than they have in the past," Naruto whines as he rises from the couch. "I think they sneakily upped the alcohol content or something! I just wanna go home now and crawl into bed to sleep."

"Or you are just becoming unable to hold your liquor," Sai suggests flatly from the far end of the couch, also rising, so Sasuke does, too, grabbing the water bottle still a third of the way full. He'll save it to take with him; it's probably pretty hot out as of yet, even now at just past ten.

Naruto glares at Sai before promptly examining the couch and surrounding floor as if he's inspecting the area for crumbs.

"I'd have to agree with Sai," Sakura calls as she returns from the kitchen, grinning and clutching the bag with the unopened candy for Hinata. "I think you're just getting old and senile, like Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto groans as Sakura hands him the package. "Everyone on this team always gangs up on me. As if you can't drink like Granny Tsunade and just heal it the next day like she does. Fuck you guys."

Sakura rolls her eyes, amused. "Did you check for crumbs? I can punch like shishou, too."

Instantly Naruto's tone changes to one a little fearful. "Uh, I sure did check, just now! Sai and teme even saw me."

"He did," Sai adds helpfully. He waits for just a second longer than necessary to make it a sufficiently awkward silence before saying, "I believe it is time for us to depart. It is just past ten."

"Damn, it sure is!" Naruto scratches his head. "Thanks for having us, Sakura-chan. It was fun! We should do this again next month."

"I agree. Thank you," Sai murmurs, wearing a smile as close to genuine as Sasuke has seen him with. Sasuke supposes it wasn't a bad way to spend an evening, though he won't have the chance to say good night to Sakura privately. He shifts slightly, ready to follow his teammates to the door.

Then Naruto stops, expression shifting into one that could only be described as lecherous, the kind of grin he gets when he's about to say something categorically stupid. Sasuke mentally braces himself.

"We better get outta here, Sai," Naruto snickers. "I bet teme really wants to kiss Sakura-chan good night!" His voice carries a teasing lilt as he saunters out of sight into the entryway, looking entirely too pleased with himself, followed shortly by the sound of Sai agreeing and sandals being pulled on.

Warmth edges up the back of his neck all the way to his ears at the accuracy of that statement, rooting him in place. He doesn't directly regard Sakura, but he's pretty sure she's not much better; from the corner of his eye, all he can see in her direction is scarlet.

"Good evening, Ugly, Traitor," Sai calls faintly as the door opens, shortly followed by their idiot teammate shouting, loudly, "Have fun!"

There is a long minute of silence once the door clicks shut, punctuated only by the sound of cackling down her stairway.

Jade eyes meet his, and she flushes darker.

"He's impossible," Sakura mutters, biting her lip.

Sasuke nods stiffly, eyes temporarily drawn to her fingers fidgeting against the dark fabric of her shorts before forcing his gaze away.

He manages to swallow.

"...Would you… want to help with the dishes?" Sakura asks softly after a beat has passed. "I could make us some tea, after, and… finish explaining the poison neutralization process. If you want."

He inclines his head once, trying to will down the color he's sure is lurking at the edges of his face. It seems out of here by ten didn't include him, after all.

She begins to delineate the finer details of antibody observations as they do the dishes. It's eleven before they reach the bottom of their teacups, a study in decompressing from social interaction and antidote creation as the temperature cools.

She walks him to her door, like usual, waiting patiently as he begins to pull on his first sandal.

"Oh," she utters airily as if she's remembering something. He blinks as she disappears beyond the threshold, footsteps sounding towards her kitchen and then back again.

"Don't forget your food," she teases, head bowed slightly to the side as she comes back into view, gripping the small packages of matcha almonds, popcorn, and the yuzu candy.

"...Just the water is fine," he murmurs huskily as he situates his other shoe, gesturing to the bottle resting on the console table, beside her newest library book; this one is titled Unbridled. "...Save the rest for the next time."

She smiles so widely that he nearly forgets what he just said.

"Okay," she agrees, voice hushed and taking one step closer to him before shifting up on her tiptoes.

Sasuke presses his lips to the curve of hers, like usual, dulcet with remnant honeyed tea and lemon.

Sakura's fingers curl around his neck, tendrils of endearment following his pulse.

The moon is resoundingly full when he leaves, like him.

As he tips what's left of his remaining water over top of soil, everything feels less warm and humid, the sun well sunken below the horizon.

He doesn't linger, in the hopes that the melancholy won't have time to sink in, but he didn't linger the previous night, either. He takes solace in the quiet din of crickets chirping as he walks home, sure he's going to have a nightmare but endeavoring to convince himself that eventually this work will be worth the cost. A few days' planting and watering does not a garden make.

---

Except it's not a nightmare. Just a dream.

A dream in which he had been touching Sakura, and she had been touching him. Oneiric caressing, grazing over each others' skin, carotid artery and solar plexus and adductor magnus, and then-

Sasuke rakes the ceiling with his gaze in drowsy frustration, taking a few steadying breaths as he comes to terms with the fact that he is in his own bed, alone.

His manhood aches as he lies there, stiff with need against the confining fabric of his clothing as he tries to shake the visuals.

He'd been touching a scattering of her freckles, one and then another and then the one leading up the smooth plane of Sakura's inner thigh as he'd pressed his lips to the column of her spine, grinding into her from behind.

Her hand had been on his hip, pulling him closer to her, pressed to the plush curve of her backside as his fingers drifted upwards to ghost between her legs.

Sasuke swallows, then sighs deeply as he stares at off white plaster, freshly washed bedding surrounding him that he wishes would just swallow him whole.

He's not terribly close to the edge, this time. He could… try to wait it out.

Or, he could...

Just the thought of it - touching Sakura, there - makes his cock throb, blood pooling to his center with greater fervor.

The lack of guilt from the last time spurs him on, too, as he lies there, staring at the ceiling with brows furrowed and contemplating as the entirety of his biological make up screams at him to do something.

More minutes pass, his need not diminishing in the slightest as he tries to force the freckle on her inner thigh from his retinas.

He eventually concludes that it's not going to hurt anyone, exhaling in resigned acceptance. It's not like she'll know. He could probably use the release, given the previous night's lack of rest. There have been times in the past where it helps him get back to sleep, the ushering in of serotonin or oxytocin or dopamine; he can't remember which.

So Sasuke tugs aside the comforter and his clothing, curls his hand around himself carefully, and gives in, descending into the lascivious heat scorching his insides.

What would it be like?

He softens his grip on himself once he closes his eyes, wanting to emulate her touch, always so soft, gentle, just like she is. And her hands are much smaller than his single one is, so he tries just using the tips of his fingers, light pressure sliding against sensitive skin and a bit of coarse hair, neatly trimmed.

What would she do?

He imagines that she would be shy. Delicate strokes across his length, maybe a thumb brushing over the head to spread the beading wetness there, one a great deal less calloused than his.

Would she crave closeness like he does? He wonders if she'd curl her other arm around him, fingertips smoothing up his back, or at his neck, or at what remains of his left arm. He never has it anymore, in dreams that involve her in an intimate capacity. He's tried not to read too much into that, recognizing that it stems from a desperate desire for her acceptance, and possibly a little of his own. He recalls, unbidden, the other day in her living room, of the way her fingertips soothed circles atop scar tissue.

Healing isn't love, though.

It's more an obligation, he thinks dismally, serving a maintenance purpose to fix damaged cells and cement sinew back together. His stupid testosterone-fueled brain tends to get those lines crossed, memorizing every subtle touch, affected in a way that embarrasses him, because she's really just doing her job. He shouldn't read into things.

There was the hint of acceptance the other day, though, when her touch lingered as she kissed him back in the privacy of her apartment. He hopes that means she at least doesn't find the stump revolting, the perpetual reminder of the penance he owes, culmination for his worst mistakes.

He exhales breathily, pumping himself languidly, thumb dragging up the base now and tightening slightly at the head where he's most sensitive.

He wonders if she would kiss him, during. He knows if he was touching her, he would like to kiss her during it, press his mouth to hers again and again and again. Kissing Sakura is addictive on its own; each one she allows him has only served to make him want more. He also wonders if she's the type who would be vocal, if he could make her sigh or moan against his lips, if she'd let him smooth his hand across her soft skin, down her side, up her thigh to touch her there. He's never touched a woman before; he wonders how Sakura would like to be touched, if she's thought of him touching her before, if she's ever touched herself at all.

What does she look like, if she does? Do her eyes flutter closed, jade shifting like sunlight on seafoam behind a sweeping of strawberry blonde lashes?

Does she blush, color seeping into her skin in her pleasure, inking around her freckles until they're lost in a sea of pink that matches her hair?

How many other freckles does she have, mapped across a porcelain sky like spring constellations they enjoyed together?

Heat inks its way up his neck as he tries to imagine her, his digits grasping his cock in a way that is deliriously gentle, a saccharine ache reverberating just behind his ribcage.

Does her back arch as she chases pleasure, writhing against her own digits, knees knocking together?

What might she think about, during, if she does?

Has she ever slipped a finger inside of her own warmth, imagining it was..?

That thought makes his breath catch in his throat and his cock twitch, the idea of her caressing her center, sinking inside with the softest sigh, slender curves and freckled thighs coming together as she grinds in search of bliss. His hips arch slightly off his bed of their own accord, muscles beginning to tighten, friction desperately wanted from a hand far too calloused for his liking.

One thorough pump of his cock comes off a bit too raw, so he pauses to lick his palm twice before continuing. The lubrication only intensifies everything, need swelling at his center; he barely manages to muffle a groan, eyes sweeping closed and imagining that the moisture is from her.

In the dreams it is nearly always slow, a steady building cadence that makes him throb more upon waking to a need that demands satisfying. If the kissing thus far is anything to go by, it confirms the dreams; he would want it to last, wouldn't want it to be over too quickly.

Though… there are things he'd like, afterwards, too. Things that are perhaps more important to him than the act itself. Things he worries are probably stupid, too sentimental.

Things that make him ache.

He splays his fingers around himself, caressing lightly from below the base upwards as fluid beads at the head. He swallows once more before spreading the added lubrication outwards. It's a sweet sort of friction, in spite of the fact that it's not anywhere near the real thing, an image conjured in his brain as to how she might appear: ivory flushing rosy and slender curves and tousled hair and Sasuke-kun whispered in a way that's needy, a way that makes his heart hammer relentlessly behind his sternum and all of the hairs on his arm stand on end.

Then he's imagining his hand on her again, skimming over the smooth skin of her thigh to touch a dainty fleck of tan, before shifting them upwards, between her legs, so he can touch her, part soft folds and hear his name and feel if he's managed to make her-

Finally he reaches the edge, pleasure spiking harshly, deep in his belly. His hand tightens pressure as the coil springs, cock full to bursting, and suddenly a mess of affections is spilling over, outwards from his center before sinking back over him like a tide. He strokes himself slowly, steadily through it, the enormity of his feelings for her, a hushed groan finally spilling from his throat and her name on the tip of his tongue.

The release feels powerfully good, waves of tension leaving him as pleasure fills the empty spaces left in between, mind still stuck on the thought of her pressing her lips to his neck and his hand between her thighs. He grinds against his own digits messily, hot and thick spurts of want dribbling and pooling slowly on his abdomen. The endorphins gradually begin to taper as he shudders through the last bit of his peak, fingers sticky and toes uncurling against his sheets.

He pants afterwards in a haze, winded, feeling sated but also empty, wanting the same things he always does, after; blush colored hair soft as silk and green eyes and words.

And now the freckle on her thigh.

He cleans up methodically, flushed and trying to swallow his propinquity to overthink, before he manages to sink back into a deep slumber.

---

Sasuke meets Sakura at her apartment the next morning prior to her shift at the hospital. She's lovely as always, even in the lack of morning light, surrounded by freshly saturated soil in terra cotta pots.

He's not sure what it is - perhaps it's the emergence of the first sliver of light on the horizon, casting her in hues of cerulean, lavender, peach, and the barest hint of gold - but as they meander around the corner to the tea shop, he examines the way her hair separates in the slight breeze. Pastel strands catch the first gilding of dawn, softness skewed auric in spring twilight, a half step ahead of him.

He wonders in that single fleeting second, enthralled as his hand twitches at his side with the urge to sift his fingers through her hair, if she has even the slightest notion of the depths of the affection he holds for her, how much of her resides in his heart. If she's even faintly aware of how hopelessly besotted he is with her, how he yearns to sigh her name against her skin, to press his lips to the freckles on her shoulder, to be more open with his feelings.

Someday, he thinks. He hopes.

"The heat's supposed to break today," she mentions softly once they're seated, watching out the window as the sun rises - they are here earlier than the last time, at her suggestion - simmering finally succumbing to a day that's more true to the tail end of spring.

"Is it?" Even now, he's distracted by the small amount of her reflection he can see in the window, jade coruscant on the same side of the glass as him.

Sakura nods, mouth quirked upward as she reaches for a sip of her tea. They've gotten iced this time; typical sencha for him, unsweetened, and peach with lemon and honey for her.

"Could be a good day for a spar," she mentions, briefly meeting his gaze. "Less risk of heat stroke than the past few days. I'd bet money that Naruto seeks you out, later this afternoon."

He snorts, and her lips curve more into a true smile.

"...I suppose."

There is a comfortable stretch of peace as the last bit of blue fades from the farthest horizon, the last dawn of April arriving.

Then Sakura's reflection is blinking, and he looks to her across the table.

"Those finches are really working on a nest up there," she comments, pointing to the apartment building across the street he'd noticed the first time they'd come here. A burgeoning stack of twigs and faded greenery fills the narrow space just at the southern edge of the awning, within view.

It's not yet close to complete, he reflects, eyeing it thoughtfully, but it's a definitive start.

They watch the birds together, staying until the last possible minute that Sakura can leave to make it to work on time.

---

Of course she's right; Sasuke has barely eaten lunch and started a new book before the dobe is pounding on his door, near yelling through the wood.

"Teme! Kakashi-sensei gave me the afternoon off if I promised to do extra paperwork tomorrow, since it's not hot as fuck out today. Wanna spar?"

He bookmarks his page before grabbing his chokuto on the way out.

Sasuke doesn't have a mission tomorrow, and Naruto's just going to be sitting in an office, plenty of opportunities to allow bruises or other injuries to heal, so they don't pull any punches. It's hours before they're done, a blur of evening exhaustion near the outskirts of the village. It's not often Sasuke finds his endurance tested quite to this extent.

Which is why the end comes rather abruptly; he moves just a little too slowly to respond to an errant punch from his right, and Naruto clocks him on the lower portion of his jaw. He both hears and feels the resounding crack, force of it not quite pummeling him into the ground, but close. He grits his teeth immediately and too late realizes that it exacerbates the issue.

Naruto hisses, recoiling a few feet away. "Ow! Fuck, teme, what's your jaw made out of?!" He shakes his hand as if to shake off the pain, then hisses again. When he holds up his digits to examine them with squinting eyes, two of them are bent out of place.

Sasuke himself runs his hand over his jaw, pressing cautiously and nose scrunching in pain. He's fairly sure it's broken, though it doesn't feel dislocated. He briefly shifts his tongue around his mouth to ensure all of his teeth are intact. They are, but it doesn't feel great.

"Uh…" Naruto squints at his fingers, angled in the wrong direction, for a long moment as if in deep thought. "Yup, pretty sure these are broken. You?"

Sasuke sighs through his nose, shifting his neck slightly. "Cracked," he manages to say; it doesn't feel good to speak.

"Well!" The dobe reaches to slug him on the shoulder good-naturedly, then freezes mid-swing when he realizes he was about to use the fist with the broken fingers. "Guess we'll just have to go wait at Sakura-chan's building for her to get home! We can get some ice in the meantime at my place." The prosthetic arm slugs him instead, and Sasuke gives him an unimpressed look, sighing deeply again before taking a step to show that he'll go.

And that is how he comes to be sitting outside Sakura's apartment building with Naruto, back resting against the cream brick while pressing a slowly disintegrating ice pack to the right side of his jaw, repositioning it diligently at fifteen minute intervals. Waiting here in pain beats seeing a stranger he's unfamiliar with at the hospital, he supposes, even if he has to listen to Naruto's incessant chatter about what he's working on with Kakashi now.

"Say, teme, does your arm hurt like hell when it gets humid? Mine's been bothering me all week," his teammate complains once they're going on an hour of sitting there, rubbing his right arm where the prosthetic is attached. "It's a bit better today, but…"

Sasuke manages to stifle a snort as he tries to push down guilt. It is so very Naruto to treat being irreversibly maimed as a minor conversation talking point.

"...Yeah," he manages, jaw feeling stiff and possibly swollen.

"Hmph," Naruto grunts, adjusting the ice pack pressed around his hand. "It doesn't last super long for me, but it sure does feel like shit."

Crickets chirp as Sasuke considers.

"...Sakura can fix it, if you ask her," he says, a little slower than he would like; he's not sure if it's because he considers it personal or because his jaw hurts.

Naruto gives him a smile that can only be described as proud, no hint of teasing, so Sasuke turns away, neck warming and focusing on the way the light is settling at the end of the horizon.

"..Y'know, you're different now, teme."

The words hit him like a ton of bricks. He exhales slowly, trying not to recoil.

Am I? He thinks but doesn't say, furrowing his brow. Uncertainty and the feeling of being undeserving make themselves known in his gut, twisting and coiling unpleasantly in a fashion that nearly makes him forget his jaw is broken.

Thankfully Naruto begins to fill the empty air with more nonsense, launching into a new story about how Hinata's sister has been feeding a stray tomcat that 'hates his guts', and Sasuke is spared from articulating anything further for now.

Sakura shows up shortly after eight, salvation in a metaphorical prescription bottle, walking casually from the south with a six pack of some kind of drink in her hand and sunshine in her hair.

When she sees them sitting in the dirt against her building, she starts shaking her head.

"What'd you two do this time?" She calls playfully as she gets closer; she's grinning.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, teme's chin broke two of my fingers! And on my good hand, too," Naruto complains next to him, though he sounds like he's almost laughing, holding up the bag of ice like it's a prop for comedic effect rather than a necessary apparatus to stave off pain.

"Jaw's cracked," Sasuke offers minimally, cheek moving against a coolness mostly melted, not wanting to expand more due to the pain. Now that she's closer, he can see there are only three bottles left in the carrier, half of them missing. He would be more curious about them, if his numbed mandible wasn't demanding most of his attention.

The way it looks must be concerning, because she sets the pack down between them upon getting closer and turns to Sasuke first, reaching out after she's on her knees beside him. He moves away the ice pack so she can see it. He's pretty sure it's swollen significantly by now. Theoretically he's sure she's seen worse, but he hopes the swelling isn't making his face look stupid.

Then she's touching his cheek lightly, fingertips probing down to just beneath his mandible, and his breath feels caught in his throat, a little to do with pain and a lot to do with… other things.

"Turn, please," she instructs softly, so he does. Sakura feels around for a moment, meticulous, and then her chakra is threading in.

"Yeah, there's a break, though I don't think it's dislocated. Do your teeth feel misaligned?" Her gaze is concerned.

"No," he responds carefully, suddenly thankful. She would have to pop it back into place, were that the case. He imagines that probably involves gloves and getting into the patient's mouth to press.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan!" Naruto apologizes in a sing-song voice from his left; Sasuke recognizes it as the tone he uses when he's teasing. "I know how much you like teme's face."

She blinks, and then red floods her cheeks, eyes widening and fine brows knitting together in what seems like a combination of embarrassment and anger. She shifts her body slightly so she can cast a glare Naruto's direction.

"I ought to leave your fingers broken for that," she seethes, voice eerily calm. "Bet Hinata would love it."

Sasuke's own neck feels flushed, because she doesn't make any attempt to deny the dobe's accusation.

"Awww, Sakura-chan, come ooooon," Naruto whines, face twitching with the telltale signs that he's trying to hold back a laugh for his own safety. "You know I'm just teasing."

"Teasing?" Sakura intones icily, eyes shifting determinedly back to Sasuke's jaw. Her chakra hasn't missed a beat, though Sasuke notes she's still flushing prettily and determinedly avoiding his gaze. His mandible is starting to feel marginally less pained on his right side, her chakra fusing the bone back together as if it was never broken in the first place.

She still hasn't made any attempt to correct Naruto. It does funny things to his insides.

There is a lengthy stretch of silence before she speaks again. "Well, then. Have fun explaining how you broke those to your wife, and enjoy the consequences."

"Sakura-chaaaaaaaan," Naruto whines, in a tone that suddenly sounds much more defeated. It gives Sasuke further confirmation of what kind of consequences Hinata may actually hold over the idiot's head. Sasuke averts his eyes to the bottles, not wanting to further pursue that train of thought; he can see now that the text advertises rhubarb ginger gin. The sun is catching the liquid in the glass, casting small semi transparent shadows to the east, just peeking out from above the cardboard.

A few minutes pass before her chakra stops, Naruto finally quiet for the sake of his self-preservation. She feels along the lines of Sasuke's mandible with smooth fingertips, apparently checking her work. It doesn't hurt at all anymore, and it feels like the swelling's gone down, too, so now all he can think about is how he is going to have consequences from this interaction later, the ghosting of her touch over his skin. He keeps his eyes trained on the freckle on her cheek and tries to focus on anything but the feel of her fingers dragging under his chin and what it's doing to his pulse.

She finally pulls her hand away, and for some reason tears a strip of cardboard off the packaging next to her. Sasuke blinks, confused - he sees that Naruto does, too, out of the corner of his eye - but then Sakura is holding the strip of cardboard up to his mouth.

"I don't have any tongue blades here, but this should work. You'll try to bend it with your teeth, so I can see if the bite is okay from the normal side to the broken side. It shouldn't hurt, but it's always good to check," she says, so he opens his mouth and closes his teeth around the cardboard, trying not to be self-conscious. She does the non-injured side first.

It bends, beginning to break, so she takes it out, rips off the portion that's been bitten, and holds it to what was the injured side.

His teeth close around it, and it feels normal again, barely a twinge and breaking just as easily as the other side did.

"Okay, it's fixed," she announces, taking the strip of cardboard and depositing it into an empty space of the packaging.

"...Thank you," Sasuke murmurs. She offers him a smile, cheeks still a little flushed.

"You're welcome."

Then he's blinking as Sakura moves to sit between them, slightly closer to him than their teammate leaning against the brick, though not quite so close that they're touching like yesterday. She grabs one of the drinks and opens it before taking a leisurely sip, pointedly ignoring Naruto who is beginning to resemble a pouting puppy.

"Sakura-chaaaaaaan," Naruto whines as Sasuke tries to resist the urge to snort. "Have I told you you're the best medic in all the hidden villages lately?"

"You're going to have to do better than that." Another leisurely sip is taken. Sasuke tries not to stare at her mouth.

"Best in the world?" Naruto squeaks nervously, obsequious and unbroken fingers fidgeting somewhat.

Sasuke smirks, nostalgia cresting and hitting him like a wave.

Just like old times.

She rolls her eyes before holding out her hand, already glowing with chakra in a way that seems effortless. It's fixed in less than two minutes, Naruto pumping his hand triumphantly into still air.

"You're the best, Sakura-chan! I really mean it! And say, could you look at my bad arm, too? It kinda hurts 'cause of the humidity this week; teme said you can fix it!"

Sakura rolls her eyes again, but her lips curve upwards into a radiant smile, as if this information pleases her. Her gaze briefly flicks to his and she colors again, before lifting a hand to where Naruto's arm ends and the prosthetic must begin.

It's a nice evening, Sasuke thinks. The clouds are turning more purely pastel over their heads as the sun sinks lower, sections of pale mauve and periwinkle and the barest lift of goldenrod intermixed with lavender. They tower over the village, a saltation of colorful cotton in a late spring sky.

Naruto breaks the easy silence, tearing his newly healed arm out of Sakura's grasp and pointing at the drinks, because of course he does. "Hey, Sakura-chan, can I have one of those? I'm SUPER thirsty!"

She nods, brows furrowed in clear amusement, so Naruto takes one, popping the cap into the empty pocket of cardboard as Sakura did with her own.

He takes a sip as Sasuke looks on curiously. "Hey, these are pretty good!"

"They are," she agrees, grinning in a lackadaisical sort of way. "I had one earlier."

Both of them take another extended sip each, appearing to look off into the sky, before the meddling glint returns to Naruto's eye. Sasuke readies himself for yet another round of teasing.

"We should make teme have one!" The dobe suggests instead, nudging the cardboard with the remaining bottle towards him.

Sasuke blinks, staring at the packaging. Rhubarb typically isn't too sweet, and he doesn't mind ginger, but he doesn't really know how gin tastes.

"We should," Sakura says, and his eyes flick to hers. The chartreuse is filled with mirth and a tinge of something more. "It's not really sweet; more tart than anything."

He mulls it over as his teammates both wait patiently with bated breath.

"...I've never tried gin," he finally offers without being asked. "I don't know what it tastes like."

Naruto cheers triumphantly from Sakura's other side before holding his own bottle out to him. "Here, try it!"

Sasuke wrinkles his nose in disgust before shoving the glass back towards Naruto, firmly but gingerly so it doesn't spill on Sakura. He knows his teammate is just trying to be nice, but there is nothing he wants less than cross contamination of whatever germs the dobe carries around.

The blond gives him a withering look, blue eyes twitching momentarily in annoyance.

Just like old times.

Then Naruto turns his attention to Sakura. Before she can process what's happening, their teammate is pushing her bottle, still in her hand, towards Sasuke.

It can't hurt.

Her face becomes as pink as her hair when Sasuke unhurriedly and deliberately takes it from her, drawing the glass to his lips to take a sip. Naruto cheers before dropping his hand, taking another swig of his own drink.

It's an interesting taste, unlike anything he's tried before. Rhubarb and ginger are definitely the main flavors that come to mind, slightly sour, but he also notes a little juniper and lemon, too. There's almost a minutiae of spice to it. More importantly, it doesn't taste as strong as whatever they were drinking yesterday.

"It's good," he says quietly as he gives the bottle back, hand brushing hers and neck feeling warm still. She looks down at her bottle as if in disbelief, where his fingers graze hers for longer than is strictly necessary.

She is very pretty. Beautiful, actually, all flushed cheeks and shining green eyes, the exact colors of his favorite season but far less ephemeral.

Sakura uses her other hand to pop the cap off the last bottle, and hands him his own to drink, looking tremendously content as her eyes flicker to his. He accepts it gratefully.

They sit there together, simultaneously a team and an epilogue in the dirt as the last sun of April sinks below the horizon, sipping rhubarb and ginger gin. The glass catches the last bit of direct light, three shadows holding bottles cast semi-transparent before them.

His shadow melts into Sakura's as he watches it, riveted, drifting slowly but surely as time passes, sky deliquescing into rich aubergine.

Eventually Sasuke delves to the bottom of the glass. Indulging isn't too bad.

---

AN: Updates may be spaced out more during the school year, but believe me, I'm still writing! Please give me grace as I am doing my best. 😅 I've actually been writing quite a bit still, peppered in between other responsibilities, but I don't write chronologically, so a lot of what I've written is stuff that's at least 20 chapters out. I am also unfortunately a perfectionist, so the editing process takes a bit, especially when chapters begin to boom closer to 15k words. Oops? Anyways, the pacing of this fic will (hopefully) pick up a little from here on out in terms of ground covered plot-wise. I had a lot of ideas I wanted to set up in Sasuke's first month or so back in Konoha, and I felt it was important to chronicle his adjustment period in detail.

As always, let me know your thoughts, and happy holidays, if you celebrate any! 3