Part Five
Consciousness returned slowly. The buzz of the fluorescents, the warmth of the blanket, the soft caress of fingers carding through his hair, the scent of his Swan, the dryness of his tongue as it stuck to the roof of his mouth, all points of awareness that were sharpening with clarity as he broke free from the confines of sleep.
"Killian?" Emma whispered, having sensed the change in his breathing. "Killian, are you awake?"
With effort, Killian managed to pry his eyes open and focus on the concerned pinch in his Swan's brows. Reaching up, he intended to soothe it away with the pad of his thumb, but when he opened his mouth to respond, all that came out was a croaked, "Aye," before he erupted into a fit of coughs from the cool air hitting the aridness of his throat.
"Hang on," Emma said, scrambling from their bed so she could fetch him a glass of water. "Drink this."
Bringing the cup to his lips, Killian took slow sips. Once his thirst was adequately slaked, he handed the cup back to Emma and asked, "What happened?"
A look of distress flashed across her features as she responded, "You don't… what's the last thing you remember?"
Rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger, the memories of what had happened before he'd blacked out began to flood his mind. A maelstrom of emotions bombarded him: fear, anger, lust, guilt, terror, euphoria, and relief. His pulse began to race, his heart hammering against his ribs as he reached up and felt for the small puncture wound in his neck, even as his body began to respond to the memory of Emma on her knees in front of him.
"I, um…" His cheeks began to feel warm, and the tips of his ears were practically on fire. "I remember you… you saved me. When Pan had me injected with poison. You…" In an attempt to even his breathing and slow his libido, Killian sucked in a deep breath and sat up further in their bed, only to realize he was still completely naked. Ignoring how that realization spiked his arousal, Killian refocused his thoughts. "I remember them administering the antidote, but everything after that is… how did we get back here?"
Seemingly oblivious to his current turmoil, Emma tucked her legs beneath her and told him, "Whatever they gave you knocked you out pretty fast. One of the Lost Ones helped me get you back to our room."
Killian sat up from the headboard, his eyes raking over her for signs of harm. "A Lost One? Did he… Did he hurt you? Pan didn't-"
"I'm fine," she assured him, reaching out and taking his hand in her own. "He just carried you back, put you in bed, then…"
"Then… what?"
Emma chewed her lip, her eyes cutting towards the camera that monitored them. Scooting towards him, she lowered her voice and shared, "He told me something, and I… I think he knows you. I think he-"
"Knows me?" Killian balked. "What did he say?"
Running her tongue over her lip, Emma flicked her gaze once more to the surveillance, giving Killian a moment to try, once again, to calm his body's reactions.
"When they took you away," she began, her voice still low, but tight and halting, "he told me that if I cared for you at all, then I had to do what Pan said. There was something in his eyes. He looked, I don't know… scared. For you. Then, after we got you back here, I confronted him about it, and he said, 'There are only two reasons people find themselves here. Because they have either crossed Pan, or because they are the punishment for those who did.' He said our being here is a punishment for someone who crossed Pan."
"And you think I am that Lost One's punishment?"
Emma opened her mouth, but was cut off by the crackle of speakers, preempting her reply as Pan's voice echoed through their room.
"Oh, good! You're awake. I was afraid you'd sleep the rest of the day away."
"We wouldn't want to put a damper on whatever sick or sadistic plan you have in mind for us," Emma muttered sarcastically, earning her an amused huff from Killian. He was gladdened that she hadn't lost any of her fire, despite the ordeal they'd both been through.
"Now, now, Emma," Pan tutted. "I'm here to offer you a reward."
"A reward?" Killian parroted, dubiously.
"Why, yes!" Pan declared, a little excitedly. "You both took your respective punishments for breaking my rules in stride, so I thought a nice hot shower might be in order."
Killian met Emma's gaze. He could see the desire for such a luxury swimming in her eyes, and despite his current state, and the fact he would not be able to keep certain matters hidden from her, he nodded his agreement. Emma left the bed to begin taking off her clothes, and Killian swung himself around so he was seated on the edge of the bed with his back to her, willing his erection to subside.
An exercise in futility, for any progress he might have made was quickly forgotten when she called out to him that she was ready and he had to join her at the door, both of them completely naked. If she noticed his arousal - and honestly, how could she not - she said nothing. Simply took his hand and led them along the line that led to the shower room.
"You go first, love," he told her, knowing that only one shower actually worked. Grabbing her caddy from the bench, he handed it to her then picked his up and held it in front of him, hiding himself from her view even as he turned around in an attempt to give her some privacy. An action that would also prove futile.
"Oh, one more thing before you begin," Pan's voice grated from overhead. "I'm sure you'd like a towel this time, so Emma, in order for you to receive yours, Killian has to watch while you bathe yourself. You won't mind, will you Killian?"
Grinding his teeth together, Killian peered over his shoulder and willed his gaze to remain fixed on hers. She gave him a small shrug, but he could see in her expression how she didn't want a repeat of the last time they'd defy Pan's "offer" to earn towels.
"It isn't as though you haven't seen it all before," she said, clearly trying to justify her willingness to comply while still leaving it up to him. "But I don't need a towel. I can just drip dr-"
"No," Killian sighed, turning around while keeping his caddy firmly held in front of him. "You're right. A small price to pay to ensure your comfort." Even if it robs me of my own, Killian thought to himself as he adjusted his stance.
Though he was tempted to set his focus over Swan's head and onto the back, tiled wall, Killian knew Pan would not come through with the promised item if he felt Killian had not made good on his end of the deal, so he watched as Emma lathered shampoo into her hair, the suds sliding down her neck and collecting atop her breasts before slipping between and continuing on in their descent down her body.
Shifting his stance again, his buttocks clenched and a groan caught in the back of his throat. Each movement of her hand as it scrubbed the soap filled loofah along her skin brought forth a memory of how she had pleasured herself beneath his gaze earlier that day. His hardened cock bobbed, brushing against the plastic of the caddy he was still clutching at his groin, and Killian felt ridiculous for the way his lust was running away with him. It wasn't as if she were putting on a show. There was nothing overtly seductive in the way she was showering, but the mere fact she was wet and naked, with suds covering her body while within arms reach, coupled with the memories of her splayed out before him, which were seared into his mind's eye, were enough to have him rigid and weeping by the time she'd finally finished.
"Okay," Emma said, collecting her items and stepping out from the hot spray. "Your turn." They quickly switched places, and Emma inquired to the open space around them. "I don't suppose you'd go ahead and give me that towel so I can dry off while taking my turn to watch, huh?"
"Funny you should mention that," Pan answered, in that tone that always made Killian's gut tighten with apprehension. "I think you'll want to wait for your towel since the only way Killian will be earning his is if… you wash him."
"Fuck," Killian muttered under his breath, his groin throbbing at the mere thought of Emma's touch running over the wet planes of his body.
From behind him, Emma sighed. The splash of her feet against the wet tile preceded her presence, and Killian was hyper aware of how close she stood as she squeezed his shampoo into her hands.
"Wet your hair for me," she instructed. " And you might have to crouch down, so I can…"
Killian obeyed and tried to center his focus on anything other than the way the scratch of her nails on his scalp sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. When she told him to turn around so she could begin washing his front, he studied every tile, every faucet, every crack, every water stain within the room so as to try and ignore the feel of the loofah scrubbing him clean. His neck, his chest, his shoulders, his arms, his torso, just to the waist, before she instructed him to turn once more.
His efforts were futile, though. The hot spray beating down on his cock nearly sent him over the edge as she continued her thorough cleansing. His back, his buttocks, the backs of his thighs, his calves, his heels.
"Turn," Emma said, crouched down at his feet and working her way back up his legs.
He shouldn't have looked down. He shouldn't have taken in the sight of her naked, wet, and practically on her knees before him once again. For with the image came the memory of her mouth wrapped around his cock, her tongue teasing his tip, and the way she swallowed around his length. When her hand brushed against his balls he was lost. Unable to keep himself from coming, he grabbed onto his cock and managed to turn away from her; a pained, guttural noise reverberated from his chest from the ruined orgasm she'd inadvertently given him that was spilling over his hand.
"Killian? Are you okay? What's… oh."
"Fuck!" he shouted in anger, slamming his hand against the tile wall. Humiliation and shame burned at his cheeks, and when Emma's hand lightly grazed his shoulder, he bucked it off, turning his body further away from hers. "Don't," he clipped out on a huff of breath as a shudder ran through him. "Please, I…"
What the hell was wrong with him?
"I-I'm sorry, love," he panted. "I don't know what's come over me."
"Hey," she soothed. "It's okay. Will you… will you please look at me?"
His shoulders slumped as he complied, turning to face her even though he couldn't yet look her in the eye.
Her hand cupped his cheek and he nuzzled into her touch on instinct, his eyes slipping shut until she said, "Killian, we have no idea what Pan actually gave you earlier."
His eyes flew open and he jerked back, his mouth agape as he stared at her. That possibility had never crossed his mind.
"I was thinking about it while you were asleep," she confided. "I know Pan said it was poison and an antidote, but… he could have given you anything. For all we know, he gave you some sort of hyped up aphrodisiac or stimulant for this very purpose." Stepping forward, she closed the space between them and took his face in her hands once more. "He wants us to suffer. He wants to make things awkward between us. He wants to force us into situations that are humiliating and vulnerable and harmful. None of this is your fault."
Killian swallowed hard and took in a shuddering breath.
"And just for the record," she continued on with a soft yet coy smile, "the fact that I turn you on in no way offends me or makes me uncomfortable. You don't have to hide that fact from me."
Before Killian could respond, the sound of something being rolled into the room caught both their attention. A cart, ladened with towels, had been pushed through the door. Emma grabbed Killian's hand, prompting him forward so they could grab the towels before they might be whisked away again, but he resisted.
"Hang on," he said, a fresh blush coloring his cheeks. "Let me just… clean up first."
"Right." Gesturing towards the cart, she said. "I'll just grab us both some towels."
Killian quickly rinsed away the remnants of his orgasm, giving himself a few extra moments to simply stand in the calming waters of the shower, allowing his heart rate and breathing to normalize before joining Swan by the towel cart.
"Here," she said, handing him two towels. "I wasn't sure how many you'd want."
An amused sound fell from his lips as he wrapped a towel around his waist before draping the other over his shoulders. Swan was currently swathed from head to toe in three towels, with a fourth clutched against her chest. Clearly she was taking no chances of being left cold and wet like last time.
They were both relieved to find that, unlike last time, everything was exactly as they'd left it when they returned to their cell room. Once they'd finished drying off and getting dressed, another surprise was in store for them.
A meal. An unprompted and unearned meal. A tray of their favorite foods appeared behind the food panel without any warning or strings attached. Or so they hoped.
"Tell me more about what the Lost One said." They had been quietly consuming their meal for several long minutes before the silence had begun to further unnerve him. A wry smile rose at the corner of Emma's lip prompting Killian to ask, "What?"
"I'd tried to bring up this topic in the shower, but you appeared to have other things on your mind."
"You did?"
Emma nodded, an amused expression set on her face as she took another bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. "Mhmm," she hummed, waiting until she'd finished the bite before adding, "I asked if you had any ideas as to who the Lost One might be, but you were too… focused on the task Pan had set that I don't think you even heard me."
Pawing at the patch of skin behind his ear that always seemed to flare up when something embarrassed him, Killian mumbled a half-hearted apology, knowing her teasing tone and the mischievous glint in her eye were in an effort to keep the subject light-hearted.
"Yes, well," he said, popping a grape into his mouth, "Any task of Pan's worth doing…"
He left the statement unfinished, allowing it to hang between them for a moment before turning serious once more.
"Honestly, I haven't a clue who it could be," he confessed. "I can't imagine my being here would be a punishment to anyone in my life other than Liam, and neither of those men is my brother."
"You're sure?"
"Aye," he stated with confidence. "Liam is broader, more solidly built, and besides," he took in a deep breath, calming himself as the memory of the last time he'd heard his brother's voice filled his mind. "We heard that voicemail. He thinks I'm on some sort of trip, and the thought of it obviously gave him comfort. Plus, I can't really see Liam getting involved with someone like Pan. He's too… noble and self-righteous."
Emma snorted at Killian's exasperated tone. "Sounds a little like David."
"Speaking of David," Killian hedged, picking at the remains of his meal. "Any chance he might be-"
Emma cut him off with a shake of her head. "Neither of them are David, but…"
"But… what?"
She chewed her lip for a moment, guilt pinching her features as she whispered, "I have wondered if my disappearance and presumed death isn't some sort of punishment for him or Mary Margaret, but honestly… like you with Liam, I can't imagine either of them getting caught up in some sideways deal with the likes of Pan. And I have no idea who I would be a punishment for, besides the Nolans."
Killian scratched his fingers through the scruff at his jaw. "I suppose we'll have to wait for an opportunity to ask them outright."
"Yeah…" Emma hedged, collecting their tray of finished dishes and depositing it back on the exposed shelf. "That's if Pan hasn't done something to them in retaliation for talking to me about it."
As if on cue, the speakers overhead crackled, signaling the impending voice of their captor.
"I take it you both enjoyed your shower and dinner?"
Neither of them answered, seeing as Pan's questions were generally rhetorical. However, it seemed he'd hoped for some sort of response this time.
"Come now," he pouted. "No thanks or show of gratitude for my generosity today? Might I remind you that I required nothing of you in exchange for both the showers and the meal? Not to mention my leniency regarding the towels… considering Emma never finished completely washing you, Killian."
Mutters of 'thanks' begrudgingly fell from their lips, followed by startled gasps as the room was suddenly plunged into darkness.
"Perhaps a good night's sleep will help you both gain some perspective on my indulgences, because rest assured… tomorrow our game will be back in full swing. Round three awaits you both."
"Goody," Emma grumbled, climbing into bed and settling herself beneath the covers. "Are you going to be able to sleep?" she asked, propping herself up onto her side, facing him. "You were out for a while after… whatever they gave you earlier."
"Aye," Killian replied, laying down beside her with his eyes trained at the ceiling. His mind, however, was not on sleep.
"Tell me," Emma said, softly, sensing that something was troubling him.
It took Killian a few long moments before deciding to share his burden with her. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure her, or endanger either of them in any way at the prospect of breaking Pan's rules, but the more he thought about it…
"I don't want our first time to be forced," he whispered. "Or coerced." Swallowing thickly, he murmured, "I don't want to fuck you because Pan tells me to, I want…"
"What?" she said on a husky breath. "What do you want?"
Turning his head, he locked eyes with her, fighting against the desperation to reach out and hold her as he declared, "I want to make love to you. I want you on our terms, not his. I want to have you because you want me too, not so we can endure this hell a little longer. I want to think back on my time with you and have something pure, something untainted to remember. Something I can hold onto with happiness."
Tentatively, she reached out and brushed her fingers through his hair. "So do I."
Air whooshed from his lungs. He wanted nothing more than to close the gap between them, take her in his arms, and kiss the breath out of her, but… "It's risky," he reminded her. "I shudder to think what Pan might do. I know I'm willing to face whatever punishment he might have in store for me, but the thought of him hurting you-"
Emma stopped his words with the press of her fingers against his lips, and held them there as she repositioned herself, straddling his waist. "You're worth the risk." Pulling him up by the collar of his shirt, she fused her mouth to his, but not before demanding, "Fuck Pan, and make love to me, Killian."