Hello everyone! Happy birthday to our favorite captain, Byakuya Kuchiki!
Thank you to grakei for reviewing!
Warning: this is a not so nice chapter containing potentially emotionally triggering verbiage when one feels like they've hit rock bottom. Reader discretion is advised.
As always, please enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 28
Captive
The oppressive darkness of the void clung to Miyako like a shroud, each twitch of her body a tremor against its suffocating embrace. Consciousness crept in like a hesitant sunbeam, pushing back the encroaching shadows. But instead of warmth, it brought a chilling chorus of whispers.
"You're stupid!"
"You're not good enough!"
"Why can't you be more like her?"
"You're not strong enough!"
"He'll never acknowledge you!"
"He'll never see you!"
"You're lower than the dirt that you walk on!"
"You'll never be as good as her!"
"There's something wrong with you!"
"You're a failure!"
"You'll never win!"
"You should give up!"
Miyako furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. The words had cut like a knife, filling her with sadness and despair, enough to almost induce tears. With each thought, Miyako flinched as if she was struck by unseen barbs. Her eyebrows furrowed in anguish, her golden eyes welling with tears like a storm-battered shore.
'Where are all of those negative thoughts coming from? They're horrible!'
The worst was yet to come. Suddenly more whispers came, but in a very familiar voice that froze her in place.
"Why won't he notice me? We've been together for so long…"
"Why did he choose her?"
"What did he see in her that I don't have?"
"He loves her instead of me…he's going to marry her…"
"Seeing them together is so heartbreaking…"
Hearing those thoughts broke Miyako's heart, making her eyes glossed over in tears. Her hands shook as she desperately tried to cover her ears.
"Goodbye, Byakuya…forever…"
'...stop!' she pleaded. She didn't want to relive those feelings.
"I knew it was too good to be true! He still loves Hisana!"
"He took advantage of me! Why was I so stupid to believe that he'd love me?"
"I was so stupid to believe that things could change! This hurts so much..!"
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she closed her eyes in the cold abyss. She thought her days of heavy sobbing were on the mend…but hearing her own voice repeat her thoughts from the deepest pit of her heart made her feel like she was falling into a black hole.
Then from the inky depths, another voice arose, distinct from the torment within. It was cold and slithering, laced with venomous pleasure, like a spider ready to savor its trapped prey.
"How does it feel to hear that? To hear those thoughts drill into your soul, especially your own?" a voice asked, its question dripping in a mix of venomous pleasure and disgust.
Miyako's eyes shot open with a gasp caught in her throat.
"Who said that?!" she asked as her eyes darted around to find the source of the voice. Her stomach dropped when her golden eyes met with a pair of eyes glowing with a shade of malevolent crimson red. Once she made contact, the abyss lightened. The walls were twirling with a sick mixture of violent, black and dark green swirls. A dark silhouette remained and materialized in front of her, making her stomach drop.
"...Rika…?"
Rika's eyes returned to their familiar shade of emerald green. Miyako stared in disbelief; Rika's reiatsu was not the same as before. It was sickeningly dark, nothing unlike a normal shingami's. "Don't tell me that…you've hollowfied?"
Rika narrowed her eyes at her prey. "So what if I did? Are you trying to judge me like you're better than me?!"
Miyako shook her head. "No! I just want to know why would you do something like that?!"
Not taking her eyes off of Miyako, she quickly closed the gap between them with a crooked smile. Emerald transformed into scarlet once more, prompting Miyako's golden eyes to go blank.
"Let's just say that a girl knows when to take advantage of an opportune moment…"
Rika sat alone in a dark forest east of Rukongai, physically and emotionally exhausted from recent events. Perched on a large rock in her filthy robe, she had curled herself into a ball, sobbing after trying to train the pain away after seeing Byakuya waste no time running after Miyako before she disappeared. Her body ached, her heart was broken; she couldn't breath. The pounding rain threatened to drown her, but she didn't care. All she could think about was what could've been. Various negative thoughts about herself and the situation flooded her soul - why things turned out the way it had and what she should've done differently. Why couldn't she be happy, dammit?!
Another crackling of thunder shook the forest and snapped her back into reality. Even with the rain washing away her tears, it didn't give her any relief from the sting of it all.
'It doesn't matter anymore…it's over…the torch that I carry is not bright enough for him to see…damn you, Miyako…'
The world blurred through Rika's tear-streaked eyes. Each sob ripped through her chest, echoing the emptiness that had carved itself out where her hope once resided. The air, already thick with despair, turned frigid, sending shivers down her spine. It was as if the very shadows conspired against her, coalescing into a chilling presence that watched from the trees with red eyes that locked in with hers.
"My, my, my, what do we have here?" a voice purred, her voice a velvet caress laced with venom. "The fragrance of your despair is almost intoxicating. Your despair is seeping from you like blood from a gaping wound."
Rika, her voice raw from grief, managed a choked reply, "...who are you?! What do you want?!"
The figure stepped out of the shadows, her expression wicked smile on her pale face akin to a vampire. She was beautiful like an angel, no doubt with alabaster skin, long raven hair and scarlet lips. A large white mask that resembled something akin to a kanzashi sat on the right side of her head.
"Call me a kindred spirit, lost soul. Someone who understands the sting of rejection, the bitter taste of inadequacy."
Her jade eyes glinted with an unsettling amusement and stayed locked on Rika as she closed the distance between them. Rika straightened up, placing her hand on her zanpakuto once she got a good look at the woman, but her fingers trembled. There was no way she could fight in her condition.
"Stay back, arrancar!" she shouted.
The woman frowned. "Is that anyway to treat someone who can help you in your time of need? We ladies really need to treat each other better!"
Rika narrowed her eyes. "And what exactly do you plan to help me with?! I need no help from the likes of you," she spat, her voice cracking.
With each step the arrancar made, Rika took a step back. The woman chuckled, a dark, throaty sound.
"Now, now, don't be like a frightened little kitten…there's no need for such hostility…I'm only here to offer you an escape from him, from her, from the shackles of your own inadequacy." she said, with a sly smile. "You do need my help."
It was already bad enough that her words invoked images of Miyako and Byakuya that flashed through her mind, but it led to darker depths of her deficiencies. The essence that attracted the arrancar oozed again from Rika's being, summoning swirls of a dark violet miasma that began to surround her; they nipped at her feet.
"I know your plight…you yearn for a man that doesn't see you; his affections have always belonged to another. No matter what you do, you're not good enough to make him look your way…"
A gasp escaped through Rika's lips. Her words, like barbed arrows, pierced her heart. Images of Miyako, radiant and beloved, flashed through her mind, followed by Byakuya, his eyes holding only indifference for her. Hearing of his and Miyako's intimate moment in his office that night made her stomach turn. Although he rejected Miyako in the end, he didn't outright stop her advances in the beginning. Her anger had swelled greatly that night, prompting her to pursue her rival and teaching her a lesson…and she was still beaten. After the brawl was over, he always had his back to her and continued to focus on Miyako...even running after her at the end of that disastrous dinner at the Shihouin Manor. Frustration, anger and heartbreak couldn't begin to describe what she felt deep down inside. It was a despair that she was tired of living.
The darkness whispered promises of oblivion - a power that could erase the sting of rejection and solve her problems. Hearing her exploit her feelings felt like she was sinking lower than she ever thought she could.
The violet miasmas tendrils of darkness slithered up her legs. The woman's voice, hypnotic and seductive, continued to fill her ears.
"Your desire to wish this never happened, wishing that you were more like your rival, wishing that the powerful male shinigami would notice and love you is saturated in envy…" Rika let out a gasp as her eyes became pale, falling under the spell of the arrancars voice. She could feel her body going numb and cold, her mind going dark, her soul being wrapped in a web of darkness. Sinful spirits set fire to the darkness: selfishness, covetousness, lust and vindictiveness - the hellish combo grew into an all consuming fire. Rika's eyes, once filled with tears, glazed over. Her limbs grew heavy, her soul a captive in the web of darkness. A strangled cry escaped her lips.
"...n…no! Stop!" Rika pleaded. Morals and sensibility drained from her. Her pleading fell on deaf ears as the arrancar watched Rika writhe.
"...is the chink in the armor of your soul…and is more than enough to make you mine!"
Glowing red eyes commanded the miasma that surrounded Rika to engulf her, her screams trapped within. Soon, the miasma dissipated, melding with the night sky. Still drenched, Rika stood alone with her head down. Lifting her hands, she stared at her palms, feeling power surging within her. Her usual smug smile grew crooked; it was time to plan for a funeral and a wedding.
"To kill…"
Miyako's throat grappled in fear. "...that's what happened…?"
Rika's crooked smile grew as her hateful eyes stayed focused on Miyako.
"Now, princess…" she hissed. "It's time for you to die and leave Byakuya to ME!"
Rika brutally kicked Miyako in her torso and soaked in her painful shrieks. Miyako gnashed her teeth and forced her feet to make her stop, grabbing Unabara to fight. Rika equipped herself with her zanpakuto and darted towards her. With each strike, Rika attacks grew more vicious. Miyako cursed, flinching with each strike; it wasn't unlike her to not be able to hold her own in a fight. Her movements were growing more sluggish as the pain intensified. Every strike brought more and more pain despite Rika not actually landing a blow on her.
"Can't move too great with that gash in your back, can you?!" Rika taunted. "I knew such a wound would look great on you!"
Miyako glared at her. "So it was you that did that to me?!"
"Of course I did! I even made sure to give you a good dose of poison to make it better!"
Miyako grew nauseous and cursed once more. "Dammit, Rika! I never would've thought you would have sunk this low! You don't deserve to call yourself a shinigami or Byakuya! You're a monster!"
Rika snarled at Miyako. "Don't you dare judge me, you pretentious twat! I'm going to make sure your death is slow and painful! Then with you out of the way, Byakuya will be all mine!"
"Like hell he will!"
Miyako gathered the strength to push Rika back, steel striking steel with Rika hitting Miyako with rage fuel strikes. Miyako fought back in desperation for what had seemed like an eternity. Despair kept nipping at Miyako's soul.
With each strike, she grew more melancholy; she could feel Rika's sadness and anger, like the creature she was fighting was more human than she appeared. Empathy started to grow; although Rika was fused with a hollow, she wondered if she could reach the humanity in Rika in order to stop her rampage. Her thoughts were thrown out of the window when the arrancar's mask appeared on Rika's head. A gasp escaped Miyako's lips.
'Shit!'
"I guess that I have to turn up the heat since you refuse to die!"
Rika snarled at her rival and prepared to lunge at her. "I'm impressed that you have that much strength left in you, but it's all for nothing! Blow them away, Kyoufuu no Fan!"
As she closed the gap between them, she threw her barrage of wind blades at Miyako.
Miyako cursed; Rika's speed had increased greatly and she was almost as fast as she was. The venom had stung Miyako again, slowing her movement and dulling her senses. Unfortunately for her, Rika had taken advantage and inflicted more damage with her shikai. She could feel her body slowly giving out on her.
'I can't give in now! I have to get out of here quickly!'
Miyako clenched Unabara tightly. "Rain down, Unabara!"
Unabara's blue glow brightened the area while Miyako gathered her reiatsu. Swinging the ribbon at Rika, the ribbon scattered into many water drops, slightly cutting Rika, who dodged the barrage of blades. Miyako continued to gather bursts of reiatsu and swing her blades, hoping for a miracle. Rika lunged at her again, skillfully dodging Unabara's blades, ready to slice her into pieces. Motioning her arm downwards, Miyako was able to use Unabara's blades to slam Rika downwards at the last second, putting some distance between them. A gasp escaped her mouth again when Rika quickly used sonido to appear again.
"You think that's enough to stop me?!" she screeched, her face distorted with a crooked smile.
Rika raised her arms to attack again, but Miyako quickly called for Unabara to incase her in a rapid moving ball of water to shield her. Rika grew more angry and threw another barrage of wind blades at her, cutting through Miyako's defense. Miyako's heartbeat boomed in her ears as she tried to dodge the attacks whilst inside the ball, barely missing each blade.
"You can't stay in there forever!"
Rika released a loud battle cry as she threw two huge blades, destroying Miyako's defense. Miyako's shocked eyes widened when another barrage of blades crashed down on her, throwing her to the ground, making their mark with many lacerations. Her body screamed as the pain urged all over her battered and bloodied frame; her lungs begged for mercy. The darkness started to have its fun with her once more, gripping Miyako's mind in a web of hopelessness.
'Someone help me!'
Her eyes glazed over once more as the venom continued to flow through her veins, asserting its dominance. Her hopelessness grew when she heard her own voice betray her.
"No one knows where you are."
"No one is going to save you."
"No one can hear your screams for help."
"You're going to die here alone…"
"...and no one will ever know."
Tears flooded her eyes once more, her body trembled.
'I don't want to die here!'
Visions of her friends, Yoruichi and Soifon mourning her disappearance flashed in her head…then Byakuya came to mind. The dam broke, spilling her tears. She never had a chance to talk to him, never had a chance to give him an answer. Damn her stubbornness and pride! Now she was going to die in this unknown dimension of despair at the hands of her rival, who was going to do who knows what with Byakuya.
'Byakuya…'
The trembling of her body started to subside as the darkness continued to grow. Flashes of the past quickly flooded her mind - their encounter in the forest, becoming friends, the various moments together in her compound, their first kiss, the sting of Byakuya's rejection, learning how he chased after her and gave the most heartfelt apology she had ever heard after he went through hell and high water to do so.
'So this is how it ends?'
"Just give up."
Rika stood over Miyako like a snake ready to consume its prey. A wicked chuckle escaped her lips.
"Here lies poor Miyako, pathetic and powerless…she will not be missed!" she announced, circling her battered and bruised frame. "Finally…after all of these years of being bested by you and living in your shadow, I can finally find happiness! You'll never stand in my way again!"
Rika powered up her reiatsu and held up her shikai, ready to deliver the final blow. "Goodbye forever, you man-stealing bitch!"
Miyako didn't even have the strength to close her eyes and wait for Rika to end her life, more tears just flowed.
'I'm sorry, everyone…I'm so sorry…Byakuya…'
Another image of Byakuya flashed in her head, this time him sporting the smile that she knew was just for her.
'I just wish that I could see you and hear your voice one last time…'
With that dark thought, the princess gave up and started to slowly succumb to the darkness's comforting embrace, waiting for Rika to end it all.
Byakuya's image started to blur and fade into the darkness. She managed to crack a small smile.
'Thank you for smiling…just for me…'
Then as cruel as it may, his smile transformed into his infamous frown.
"...Mi..ko…"
'...hm?'
A spark ignited in Miyako's eyes, battling the encroaching darkness. Had she imagined it? "...yako…"
No, his voice, hoarse and urgent, resonated in her very soul. More flowing tears blurring her vision.
"Byakuya...?" she whispered.
His name was just a wisp on her lips; it ignited a fire within her. She gripped Unabara tighter. Was he near? Could he find her in this dark abyss of despair?
"Tell me…" Byakuya's voice came again, strained and distant, "where you are!"
That spark ignited into embers that swelled into an inferno, summoning a supernova of reiatsu to her weakened limbs. This wasn't over - she wouldn't give Rika the satisfaction of ending her. Rika, caught off guard by the sudden turn of events, stumbled back in surprise, her smirk faltering and replaced with uncertainty with gnashed teeth. She had been the queen of this dimension of fear and despair, feeding it into Miyako to suck her dry. But now it swelled up like a knot in her throat, if only for a moment. Her fingers trembled slightly as she grappled her shikai.
'Impossible! How could she still have this much strength left?!'
With all the strength she had left, Miyako's cry tore through the darkness as she released her burst of reiatsu, hoping it would be enough for a miracle.