Alex sighed as she plopped down onto sofa. It had been a long day of paperwork following her qualifications test, which she had passed with flying colors, and she found herself exhausted. It had been surprising just how draining a few hours spent in the FBI building had been, but she supposed that a part of that was due to the fact that she had been looking over her shoulder for Erin to just pop up at any moment. She wouldn't put it past the woman to do that, to put Alex on the spot in front of their colleagues in order to push her narrative of wanting to make amends. Because Erin knew damn well that Alex wouldn't cause another scene where her reputation would be suspect again.

Still, that hadn't happened, it was as if Erin didn't even exist, and she had almost asked Ron where Erin was, since she wanted to know if she needed to be prepared for a sudden confrontation. There had never been a clear opportunity to ask that, though, and she didn't want to rock the boat on her first day back in the BAU. As she let out another sigh, Alex pulled out her new credentials and took a look at her picture. She looked completely different from her first profile picture, colder, more aloof, and very much like she knew that she was better than a lot of people. It was a carefully constructed façade that she pulled together in order to give off that air of authority. And it was also a coping mechanism to distance herself from being hurt by anyone. She was going into this job with one intention, and one intention only – to prove that she was more than capable of being a profiler and her linguistic skills were top of the line, no matter what Erin might think.

Setting the identification badge and gun on her coffee table, Alex stretched out on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. She really wanted to call James, to let him know about her good news and that she was ready to start anew with a fresh team and none of the baggage of her past with Erin, but it was close to two in the morning in Gabon, and she didn't want to wake him up. If it had been midnight, then she would have readily called, since that would mean reviving their earlier habit of calling at that time. A part of her knew that it had been wrong to suggest that to him once he had started with MSF, since it had been a holdover from her good times with Erin. And if she dug further down into her feelings and memories, she would acknowledge that the reason she and Erin had called each other so often at midnight was because that was the only way that Alex would open herself up and actually talk about how she was feeling.

It was a terrible cliché, she knew, but it was true for her. The more tired she was, the easier it was for her to talk. Not just about her deeper feelings, but at all. Her family never understood that she just preferred to keep to herself, to speak slowly and make each interaction count; and that had led to the rift between her and Scotty. Her dad had gotten a little better over the years, and so it had been easier to try and keep in contact with him. "I suppose that I should let someone know that I've gotten my job back," she said lowly as she pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her contact list until she came to her father. Touching the number, she brought the device to her ear and waited for the call to connect.

"Alex? Is everything all right?"

She let out a little chuckle as she nodded. "I know, you don't have to say it, I need to call more often. Nothing is wrong, James is in Gabon with MSF, and I will be starting a new job tomorrow morning."

"I'm sorry?"

"I applied to the BAU again, when I heard that there was an opening. I don't know why I decided to, since it always felt like a pipe dream for me, but something prodded me into submitting my resume. And Ron called me directly to offer me the job. I passed my gun qualifications earlier today, and then got my badge and credentials, along with a new service weapon."

"You didn't keep your old one?"

She shook her head as she scrunched back into the cushions of the sofa. "I didn't want to be reminded of all that when I was relegated to desk duty in the Maryland field office. But I love the feel of this in my hand."

"Are you happy now?"

The question came out of left field, and Alex had to think about it for a moment. She was happy. Wasn't she? This was everything that she had wanted for the last fifteen years of her life. This job had always been on her mind, despite Alex finding her teaching role quite fulfilling. "Of course I am, Dad."

"It took you a while to answer that, Allie. Maybe you might think about examining your heart and seeing if this is happiness or something a little more petty. You don't want to take this job just because you want to stick it to Erin. Not after…"

"After what, Dad?" she needled him, allowing ire to color her voice as she glared up at the ceiling.

"Your mother and I never said anything to you, but we knew."

Alex felt all the blood drain from her face as she tugged one of the throw pillows onto her stomach and held it there tightly. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Dad."

"You were always a horrible liar when it came to really important things, Alex. I half think that that was why you never talked much, since as long as you were quiet, no one could pick out your lies. But with Erin, it was easy enough to see on your face. Your mother wanted you to settle down with a nice man like James, I just wanted you to be happy, but you always were your mother's daughter. Though given the way that things ended up between you and Erin, I suppose that your mother was the right one to listen to."

"How?" she asked, feeling her heart clench painfully in her chest.

"You just telegraphed love whenever you spoke about her. And the one time I got to speak with her on the phone, I could tell that she loved you, too, perhaps more desperately than you. You never needed others, you were always my independent bug. But I think that Erin needed a love to hold onto, and that she needed you more than you needed her. Which is probably what made your demotion sting all the more for the both of you."

"Yeah," she answered, hating how right he was in that moment. "But I really am happy to be back with the BAU. This is the culmination of everything that I've been working towards these last fifteen years. And I probably won't even see Erin all that often. She's our section chief now, which means that she's doing the job that she always wanted."

"And that would be?"

"Playing the politician and maneuvering people like chess pieces."

"You don't really believe that."

"Yeah, Dad, I do. She was always born to play that game, and if I had realized that earlier in my life, I don't think it would have hurt so much when she betrayed me. She cut my rope without even sparing a second thought for me!" She hated sounding so emotional, hated the fact that bitter tears were stinging her eyes when she should be overjoyed at what she was going to be doing with her life come the morrow. Instead, she was grousing with her father about things that shouldn't matter any longer.

"Ah, my darling girl, you still are allowing bitterness to rule your heart. You need to learn to move on and let those things no longer bother you. I know that it is so hard, but it is for the best."

"I know," she said hurriedly before letting out a fake yawn. "Look, I should probably get going, it's going to be an early day for me tomorrow. And I promise, it won't be so long between calls this time. Love you, Dad."

"Love you, too, bug."

Once he was off the line, Alex pressed the phone into the pillow on her stomach, blinking away the tears that were still threatening to spill from her eyes. She should have known that she was obvious to her parents, since she had been so blindingly in love with Erin during their time at the Academy, but she had still assumed that she had been circumspect, given that her parents hadn't said anything to her. Until her mom had introduced James to her, and she had found herself drawn to him. Erin hadn't said anything, but she had too quickly found Alan following that, and that was when she knew that her father was correct, Erin had needed someone to love and need her desperately, and Alan had filled the role that Alex had so quickly left.

"I will not allow Erin to get back underneath my skin," she muttered as she pushed herself off the sofa. Glancing at her watch, she saw that her conversation with her father had taken longer than she had assumed, and it was nearly eleven. A bit late to get to sleep, and she still had to take a shower, as she wanted to make the best impression possible on her teammates. Shaking her head, she made her way upstairs and stripped off her clothes, dropping her phone onto the nightstand before padding into the bathroom and taking a long shower. As she washed her body, Alex ran through a series of rap songs in order to calm her spirit after that call with her father, and she finally stepped out when the water was too cold to stand beneath any longer.

After drying off, Alex twisted her hair up into a towel before making her way back to the bedroom. Pulling open the top dresser drawer, she took out a tank top and boxers and quickly dressed before settling down to relax in the bed. Turning onto her side, she plugged her phone in to charge before setting the alarm for six the next morning, knowing that the commute would be long. Then she decided to email James, wanting him to know the good news, even if she hadn't called him about it beforehand.

By the time you read this, I'll be asleep and dreaming about starting with the BAU once more. I finally got my job back, and I cannot wait to prove how good of a profiler I am. Erin is going to regret ever treating me so horribly during that whole debacle, and I cannot wait to see her face when I show her up. And I know, you'll be the second person to tell me that I need to let it go, but I can't. Not until I am in the position to prove how good I am. This is just the first step on my long journey back to respectability. I love you, and I miss you. I don't know when we'll be able to Skype next, since my schedule is going to be hell again, but we'll make time for each other, I promise. Until then, Your Lex

She sent the message before rereading it, knowing that she wouldn't take a word of it back. Flipping onto her back, she stared at the ceiling as she thought about what was going to happen in the morning. She truly didn't want to see Erin so early in her return, but she also sort of wanted to rub her return in her face. Just as she was about to set the phone aside and settle in to sleep, the device vibrated in her hand, and Alex frowned as she looked at the screen, wondering just who was calling her at midnight.