Alex sank down onto the bed, feeling more frustrated than tired in that moment. This was their second day in Seattle, and she was fast finding herself thoroughly tired of that particular city and all the horrible, weird, cases that seemed to seep out of the ground there. And it didn't help that she had been butting heads with Morgan for the entire case and he, in turn, was needling Spencer, which meant that on top of all the secrets that he was keeping from the team in general, he was also acting testy towards her, too. She was thoroughly over it, which meant that she was now avoiding the entire team as they ate supper together in the downstairs restaurant.

Flopping back on the mattress, Alex allowed her eyes to close heavily as she thought about how things had just seemed to go off the rails so quickly with this case. The silence of the room seemed a bit oppressive to her, and she tried to stay awake, knowing that Erin might call that night, since she hadn't the night before. Still, the stillness and silence seemed to call out to her exhausted state of mind, and she was soon asleep.

The next thing she became aware of was the sound of JJ opening their door and entering the room. "I wondered if you had fallen asleep on us, so I brought your food up, just in case. I don't know where Hotch found this sushi place, but I am so glad that he did, because I ate far more than I should have, though there is still a lot left over."

Alex sat up and saw that JJ was holding a rather sizeable plate piled high with different pieces of sushi, listening to her stomach rumble as the woman came over to her side and handed it over. "Thank you, this does look delicious," she replied as JJ held out a fresh pair of chopsticks and a bottle of water. "I don't know why I'm so tired out, but it seems like every time we're on the west coast I just find myself exhausted."

"I think that it's the weather along with the time difference. Because the grey skies have gotten to me, too." JJ gave her a small smile as she took a seat across from her. Alex drew her legs up beneath her as she ate, listening to JJ talk about what she had missed at the team dinner. "And with that, I think I'm going to go take a long shower before crawling into bed with the book that I'm reading. Thanks for listening to me."

"I'll always listen to you, JJ. In fact, there are times when I think that you're the only person on the team that I can relate to, even if Spencer is my protégé."

"It takes a while to gel with everyone. Even Emily struggled to fit in when she first started, but that was more because Gideon despised her and the way she was brought into the team. Everyone else just seemed to take their cue from him, and it was months before she made headway. Don't give up on us, I think that you're more well liked than you give yourself credit for." JJ patted her kneed softly before getting to her feet and pulling out pyjamas from her bag before going into the bathroom.

As Alex listened to the shower run, she pulled out the stack of papers that she still had to finish grading, figuring that she could get through a good number of them before she went to sleep. Settling back against the headboard, she soon lost herself in her student's words, finding that there were quite a few good ones in the stack. It was startling how well she knew her students by their papers already, though part of that was her job, she supposed. Alex barely nodded to JJ as the woman crawled into bed and opened her book in an effort to relax from the case they were working.

Quickly losing track of time, Alex was startled to feel her phone buzz against her thigh, and she looked at the display to see that it was indeed midnight, and Erin was calling her once more. A part of her tried to tamp down the feeling of excitement in her chest at the sight, since she didn't want to feel that way. Things were getting too personal as it was, and Alex didn't want to confront what might happen if things changed drastically between them. Taking a few deep breaths, she picked up the phone and answered, setting the papers aside as she let out a long breath. "Hello, Louise."

"Alex. How has this case been?"

"Creepy. It feels like we're getting nowhere with this case, and I…I didn't realise that I was this bad with blood. Or maybe it's the fact that the unsub is using the victim's blood to paint words on the wall. Words that don't really make sense within the context of what's going on. And…"

"Yes?"

"I feel like I'm not making any headway with the team. I know that we've discussed this before, how I feel like I'm on the outside of the group, but this case just seems to be so horrid for it. Morgan and I have been butting heads so badly, and I just, I wish that things were easier. I wish that I was easier to get along with."

There was a slight pause before Erin spoke once more. "I think that the problem with your thinking is that you are hard to get along with. You're not. You're just cautious about who you let into your inner sanctum, which is perfectly understandable, considering what happened between us back in the day. I think that I was probably the one who helped to close a few of those doors between your inner and outer self, and that is probably one of my largest regrets when it comes to the whole Amerithrax debacle. If I could go back in time and make one change, it would be to make certain that you and John didn't bear the brunt of what happened with that."

"If wishes were fishes…"

"Then beggars would feast. I know. But can I be honest with you?"

Alex cleared her throat as she looked over at JJ, seeing that she was still fast asleep. "I would expect nothing less from you, at this point."

"That's good to know, because complete honesty has been my modus operandi since leaving rehab. I don't think that I can go back to the way that I lived before, even if I am still too good at playing politics at work."

Alex let out a throaty little chuckle before responding. "No, you?"

"Shush. I was trying to be serious here, darling." There was a slight pause as Erin realized what she had inadvertently said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you were being honest."

"Thank you. Anyway, I think that you are fitting in much better than you assume that you are, because I have read nothing but good about you in the reports that are turned in by the others. Well, David's are a bit testy, but that's because I believe he knows that we share these little calls, and he's a bit jealous of that connection. I wish that I could get him to understand that the feelings I have for you are much different than the feelings I have for him."

"Dave can be a bit of an ass."

"But I love him, for all that. Even if that love is quickly growing complicated. And if my honesty isn't complete with him. I want him to feel secure in our relationship, since he went through a lot of ribbing to be with me. The others, well, it hasn't been easy to prove that I've changed, which was why I was so eager to make amends with you when you returned. I didn't want to set back the progress that I had made with them, either. Which was so selfish of me, I know. Agent Morgan has been one of the hardest to win over, since he was the one who called me out on my problem."

"That must have been harrowing."

"I was infuriated with him and Aaron when they came to my office following that case and informed me that I was headed to an IAB approved rehab. It was, well, it wasn't pretty. But I endured and made my way through the Program and got clean. I wouldn't have that accomplishment if they hadn't confronted me, but I still feel like I'm not good enough in Agent Morgan's eyes."

"That is the perfect way to describe how I feel, too. Other than Spencer, I am probably the most educated person on the team, which isn't to disparage the others, far from it. I just worked hard for my degrees, and expect to be treated with a modicum of respect, the same respect that Spencer receives. But Morgan just seems to think that because I'm a woman, I don't deserve that same level of respect. It's been difficult enough to grow accustomed to the fact that he flirts outrageously with Garcia, as I know that we would have been reprimanded and written up for such behaviour."

Erin let out her own chuckle, and Alex could just picture her friend shaking her head a little before she answered Alex. "I would come down a little heavier on them, but I also have to take into consideration the fact that Ms. Garcia was never truly trained to handle the things that she sees on an everyday basis, not like the rest of the team has been, and so she can find things to be overwhelming at times. If this banter keeps her fit for purpose, I don't begrudge her for it. And since she's seeing Mister Lynch, I don't have to worry about them fraternizing."

"Oh, that is so rich coming from the woman sleeping with her subordinate."

Alex made certain to keep a teasing tone in her voice, trying to let Erin know that she wasn't trying to be mean with her ribbing. "It was just something that happened. And…"

"Yes?"

"The sex is really good."

Those words were said in a rush, as if Erin knew that she had to get them out before swallowing them again. Alex was grateful for the honesty coming from her, even if it had taken her a lot to admit it. "I can only imagine. The stories that I've heard bandied about the bullpen have given him almost godlike status."

"Well, don't tell him that. I don't want to give him a larger head than he already has." Erin sighed, and she wondered what was going through Erin's head as a soft silence fell between them. "But should a relationship be centered completely around great sex?"

"That all depends on where you want the relationship to go, honestly. Do you think that this will last the test of time, or is this just a temporary fling to scratch an itch that you have?"

"A little of both? Maybe?"

"Well, perhaps that's something that you should think about. You need to be healthy and happy, and I know that Dave is great and all, but if it's not what your heart wants, then maybe you need to think more about what you truly need and want."

"I know that you're right, you always were back in the Academy, too. I've missed this, you know."

"Missed what?"

"This easy way that we can talk, and you can call me out on my shortcomings. If I had listened more to you, years ago, perhaps we wouldn't have ever gone through the hell that we did."

"And maybe we had to go through that in order to grow into the people we're supposed to be. Though perhaps this has been enough emotional honesty for the evening? Why don't you tell me a little more about what your children are doing right now, as I always love to hear about them."

"Okay." Erin took a deep breath as she began to regale Alex with stories on her children's latest antics, and she smiled as she slid down on the mattress, allowing herself to relax to the sound of Erin's voice as she let the worries of the case fade to the background for the time being.