There had been no calls from Erin after Christmas day, and Alex understood that she was most likely trying to find a way to navigate this new situation that they had found themselves in. Though Alex had caught her smiling at her whenever she saw that she was wearing the scarf she'd been given. Still, she wanted to talk with her friend, now that everything was out in the open, and this inability to contact her was growing more and more grating as the days dragged by. Again, she knew that she could reach out, could call or text, but she felt like it was important that she allowed Erin to make that first contact with her, since she was still probably hesitant about how Alex felt about their two kisses.

"That scarf looks good on you."

Alex looked up at Rossi, giving him a small smile as she shrugged. "Louise has good taste, and remembered my favourite colours. I'm lucky to have such a good friend in my life."

"That you are. Erin's been going through ink like it's nobody's business in her new pen. I've never seen her write so many letters and lists. I wish that I had thought to get her the Mont Blanc that she'd always talked about wanting. Turns out she has a good friend who knows her quite well, too."

Again, Alex shrugged as they entered the bullpen at the same moment. Hotch hadn't really said why they were meeting in the bullpen so early on a Saturday morning, but she knew that it had to be important. "I'm certain that Hotch is just as good a friend to you as Louise is to me."

"I'd like to think so." He gave her a sad smile, which just told her that he knew she was being kind to spare his feelings, and she felt her heart lurch a little in her chest as they went over to where the rest of the team was gathered. All thoughts of Erin and their kisses were soon shoved to the backburner as she focused on Spencer and what he was going through, knowing just how much he loved Maeve. She wanted to find her before things escalated too badly, since he deserved to be happy, especially when she was stuck between happiness and sorrow.

The hours passed by too quickly as they hunted down where Maeve could be, until at last, it seemed like she had been found. Spencer, of course, had been the one to run into the breach, leaving them behind to wait until the right moment, only for it to be far too late. Alex had nearly broken down into tears as she watched the bodies drop to the floor, and she turned her face away from the naked devastation on Spencer's face. Rossi was so kind, reaching out to touch her shoulder in sympathy before heading over with Hotch to check and make certain that Diane and Maeve were truly dead, even though Alex could tell that they were just by looking at their bodies.

There had been a long talk with the police, which Hotch had handled well, and then they were finally allowed to head home. A part of Alex wanted to comfort Spencer, but JJ and Morgan were already there, and she didn't want to interrupt that moment. Instead, she decided that her best course of action would be to head over to Erin's home, and see if she could just fall asleep in her guest room. She didn't need to talk, she just needed to be with a friend in that moment.

As she pulled up to Erin's garage, Alex noticed that someone else had also decided to visit Erin late at night, and she knew that it had to be Rossi. There was no one else who would be discourteous enough to show up on the doorstep of just anyone this close to too early in the morning. Rather than just barge into Erin's home and leave him in the dust, Alex leaned against the trunk of her car as she waited for him to park and then come up to her side.

"So, you've come to visit Louise."

Alex nodded, knowing that it would be unfair for her to lie to him any longer. "I just wanted something of my own, that you all didn't know about. Especially since you all thought that Erin and I were on such bad terms. But I don't want to be alone tonight, I need a friend's shoulder to cry on. And I'm assuming that you don't want to be alone, either, and want to cry on your lover's shoulder?"

He smiled sadly before giving her a small nod. "I did call ahead to let her know that I was coming over, so she is up. Come on, let's head up to the door." Rossi spread his hand out on her back as he guided her up the steps to the porch before he knocked heavily on the door. It didn't take Erin long to answer, and she hugged them each in turn, pressing her cheek against theirs before handing them each a mug of tea.

"Let's head to the living room. I made certain to bring out extra blankets after David called me to say what happened." She threaded her arms through theirs and led them into the correct room. Alex was the first to pull away, choosing to sit on the end of the sofa that had a familiar blanket on it. Looking over at Erin, she saw the woman give her a small nod as Alex took a seat, setting aside the tea for a moment so that she could wrap the blanket around her legs. "All right, do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No."

"Yes."

Alex leaned forward to look at Rossi, seeing that he was staring down into his mug of tea, a forlorn expression on his face. She knew that she couldn't begrudge his wanting to discuss what happened, since he needed to get it out before it ate him alive. "Well, how do I decide between the two people who mean the most to me in the world?" Erin asked gently as she patted both their knees.

"Maybe Rossi's right, maybe we should talk about it, get it out of our systems before it can fester." She let out a deep sigh as she curled her feet up beneath her before picking up her tea once more, holding it close to her chest. "I'd forgotten that physics can work like that. It's not fair."

"Life's not fair," Rossi replied as he brought his mug up to his lips, taking a long sip. "But I was hoping that it would work out for the kid this time. He's had so much shit thrown at him over the course of his life, it's just not right that he would lose someone he loves in that manner."

Erin nodded as she snaked one hand upwards to push Alex's head down onto her shoulder. "He has been through the wringer over the years, yes. Which is why he's going to need his team to surround him at this time, because we don't want him relapsing into his Dilaudid addiction once more."

That was news to Alex, as she hadn't heard that he had had an issue with addiction. "There is that fear, yes. Morgan's grown closer to him over the years, but without Emily here, that worry will be in the back of my mind. I also don't want you to be tempted into doing something rash because you're trying to be all things to the team, even if it's behind the scenes. You know how close we were to losing you completely."

Erin nodded as she looked over at Alex. "I think there are a few things that Louise hasn't told her Lexie, and that is one of them."

Alex blinked at Erin before giving her a small nod. "And I think that I would like to hear this story, because I have the feeling that it is rather important. Erin? Rossi?"

Erin let out a long breath as she continued to look into Alex's eyes. As if he knew that Erin wouldn't be able to speak, Rossi cleared his throat before starting to speak once more. "IAB was quite insistent that Erin not return, as they had already given her one chance, and she had failed. Aaron, despite his being rather ham fisted about it, was able to get them to see to reason and allow her a second chance in a different rehab center. This one worked, but there were costs."

"Costs?" she whispered, feeling like she couldn't look away from Erin's gaze, as if that was the only thing holding them together in that moment.

"I lost my mooring for a while. The children didn't want to talk to me, Alan was being an ass, and I felt completely alone. David became my literal saviour, because he saw that I was fast losing who I was, and from there, we started a relationship. It was easy to love him, just like it was easy to love you, back when we first started things. Life is just so complicated and tragic."

Alex pursed her lips as she tried not to cry at the look on Erin's face as she gave the woman a small nod. "It really is." Her voice broke on that last word, and she allowed the tears to roll down her cheeks as she continued to stare into Erin's eyes. The woman reached up and brushed away a few of those tears before she allowed her body to drop against the back of the sofa, taking Alex with her. Moments later, Rossi's arm snaked around behind Erin's neck so that he could curl his hand around her shoulder, offering her comfort as she cried.

It was so easy to scoot closer to Erin, to pull the blanket on her legs up around her chest as she looked to Rossi for permission for something she couldn't name in that moment. He seemed to completely understand, as he gave her a small, knowing, nod before he moved closer to Erin as well. Within moments, Alex had wrapped her arm around Erin's waist as she allowed her head to drop heavily on her chest. Once she was comfortable, it was so easy to let herself cry harder, as she thought about how Spencer must be feeling, wondering if he was alone, or if Derek had chosen to stay with him on this first, dark, night. She didn't realise that Dave was stroking her hair until his thumb caught in a tangle, pulling at it a little roughly and causing her to wince and hiss in pain.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, Rossi. All that matters is you're letting me be here, horning in on your time with Erin."

There was a small pause before he spoke once more. "I wouldn't have felt right if I had just refused to let you come inside. I have the distinct feeling that you and Erin are extremely close, and she needs her friendships, too."

Alex tried to ignore the heartbroken tone of the last part of his sentence, only nodding a little against the softness of Erin's chest as a wide yawn split apart her lips. "I should probably head up to the guest room, and let you two curl up together," she whispered as she tried to get up, only to have Rossi's hand tighten around her shoulder, holding her in place. "Rossi?"

"This is a recliner sofa. I don't think Erin would forgive me if I allowed any of us to be separated tonight. Here, I'll put up the footrest on your side before doing the same for Erin and myself." Alex pressed her lips together again, trying to swallow the renewed feeling of crying. Erin lowered her head to press a soft kiss to the crown of Alex's head, and then they were sighing in tandem as Rossi settled back on the sofa. Once he was there, his hand resting on her shoulder again, Alex allowed herself to drift off to sleep as she heard the two start to talk quietly, soothing her heart more than she thought possible.