AN: Hey all, the rating for this story went up because I re-read the rating guide after some concerns. Let me know if you think it was the right call.
Now, let's get this party fuckin' started!
Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.
One Knuckleheaded Glutton
The One Where They 'Boop'
(Wear something comfortable)
Loona adjusted the sleeve on her arm and checked the fit of the top in her mirror. It was a long-sleeved halter that had a small pentagram in the window over her chest. Her brow furrowed and her lips twisted. It fits fine, but...it wasn't 'comfortable'. Well, it was comfortable, if just a bit snug around her sides, but that probably wasn't what he was going for. Ugh, was it supposed to imply something sexy? Something loose?
"Because that's so fucking specific!" She growled and tossed the top across the room. A clawed hand raked down over her face as she tried to calm down. "Ugh, I should've asked him yesterday... Fuck, wait, I'm overcomplicating this."
She grabbed her phone and fired off a text asking for specifics. There was still an hour before she was supposed to meet him at Hothead's, and that was only a ten minute walk from Blitzø's apartment. That left her with more than enough time to find her outfit for the date, do her makeup so it doesn't look shitty, and get a latte. Granted, that all depended on long as there's a timely–And cue the soft whine.
(Something that's comfortable & u aren't afraid to rip)
Loona's ears shot up and her eyes went wide. W-What? What the shit was he planning? This was...goddamn, it was the first date! She'd figured he'd be at least willing to wait one date. ...Although, given how her birthday ended and the – Well, it wasn't a kiss, exactly, but their noses touched, so what does she call it? A boop? ...Fuck it. – boop yesterday, maybe this was par for the course. It wasn't like she was entirely opposed to it, either, but Loona wanted more than just a one-date romp.
Oh, another text.
(Not like that! We'll be outside!)
That didn't help improve her opinion of the situation in the slightest.
(...this all sounds worse the more I type...)
Loona snorted. Well, at least he wasn't clueless. She sat on the edge of her bed and sent a quick response. There, that should help him calm down.
(What r we doing outside?)
(Exactly?)
(Well, part of it is a surprise.)
She let out a huff of breath through her nose. For a member of the ruling House of Sin over a certain Ring, this boy could be so maddeningly unhelpful. At least she had a feeling it wasn't meant to be an innuendo. Proven in three, two, one–
(Not like that!)
There it is.
(I was thinking I could take you on a Hunt in Gluttony?)
(At least for lunch.)
Hunt? Loona felt her tail start to wag and gained a small smile. Okay, yeah, she's up to hunt. She knew exactly what to wear for that. She hopped off her bed and started to tear through her dresser. All she had to find was–Perfect. Pulled up over her leggings were a pair of ripped shorts she got last summer and then for the shirt. Did she still have–? Fuck, yes. She grinned as she pulled on her low-cut 'Savage' shirt. Now, all she needed to do was find her collar – maybe something other than her spiked one, didn't she have a tagged collar somewhere? – touch up her makeup and get her wallet before—
"Wow, Loony! What's got you up and dressed so early?"
Before Blitzø woke up and saw her. Fuck!
"Heading out for coffee." She bit out, quick to first silence and then tuck her phone into her pocket. The last thing she needed was for him to think she was meeting up with Naruto. She was, but she didn't want him to fucking know that.
"Oh, gimme twenty and I'll come with! I could use a good iced–" Blitzø stopped and peered into her room. She followed his gaze for a second before she looked back and growled at him for invading her personal space. "Uh, doing some rearranging? You need a hand?"
"No. Now, get out!" She snarled and swiped at him. He jumped back and held his hands up.
"Whoa, easy there, Loony." Blitzø laughed, a bead of sweat fell past his now more awake eyes. "I won't go in your space, I haven't since...uh…"
"You barged into my room, on my twenty-first birthday?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"...Yes. That." Blitzø nodded slowly. Her lip curled up and she bared some teeth.
"What day was that, Blitzø?"
"...Uhh...Last thursday?" He took another step back when she advanced on him with a snarl.
"Stay. The fuck. Out!"
"Okay, okay! Sure! Yes! ...Do you need the bathroom? Because I have to take a wicked sh–"
Loona snarled and lunged at him again. He yelped and darted into the restroom and locked the door. Good, but she could be more certain he wouldn't bother her. She reached over to grab one of the kitchen island chairs and jammed it under the bathroom doorknob.
"...From the sounds of scraping, I take it you've blocked the bathroom door, again? ...Loony? Loona?"
Loona didn't even dignify him with a response as she went back to her room and grabbed the small makeup kit that was there. She was not letting him ruin this day for her! Not after all the effort she took to keep it from him yesterday! ...Which, admittedly, wasn't very hard; he basically had her sit in the van for the whole thing to keep anyone from trying to mess with it. At least half-way through Naruto came back to keep her company while his clones — and that was something she wanted to ask him about, for purposefully innocent reasons of course — protected The Goetia Prince and his kid.
...Then the Boop...
Loona shook her head and focused. She checked her phone, she had fifteen minutes to get ready. She had to finish her makeup and then maybe have time to find that collar. Fucking Blitzø's inane being took up most of her time! Ugh, she just had to make do with what she's got.
Twenty minutes later, a wasted five looking for a collar that – when prompted by a snarled knock – Blitzø admitted to throwing out, thinking it was one of his ex's, Loona grabbed her wallet and went out the door.
"Have a good fucking day, Blitzø!" She snarled.
"Wait! Loony! Bring me back an Iced Macchiato with maple–!" The door was slammed before he could finish speaking and she practically threw herself down the stairs. She looked at her phone and cursed. There wasn't even going to be time for a latte at this rate, fucking–!
(Hey, I'm at Hothead's. Got thirsty. You want anything?)
Loona was going to fucking marry this guy after she fucked his brains out. Her snarl dropped from her lips, her tail began to wag and her run slowed into a casual stroll as she sent an order his way.
(Vanilla Latte, size doesn't matter)
(Well, that's good to know.)
Fuck, she so wasn't ready for that sort of cheese. Her ears burned and she checked the street sign as she crossed to another block.
(Ten minutes out, sorry for the wait.)
(You're good. See you in a bit.)
Loona felt her tail swish wildly as she walked and pocketed her phone. She'd talk to him in person once she got to Hothead's Cafe. She clocked a pickpocket across the jaw just as he made to bump into her and snag her wallet. She glared at the group that followed him out of the corner of her eyes.
"Just fucking try it."
She was walking on fucking air the rest of the way to Hothead's Cafe. If a few other bodies were dropped along the way, well that was their fucking problem, then, wasn't it?
"This building." Verosika looked pointed at a location on the map of the Ring she was looking to move her label into. Not only was it a step closer to getting to the end-all, be-all of succubi goals, but it would rankle the actual fuck out of her ex something fierce. She licked one of her fangs and then bit into her lip. "This building is perfect."
"Really?" Kiki asked, an eyebrow arched as she crossed her arms.
"Yeah, I dunno, Vee. What's the purpose of moving to Pride? It's just a giant fuckin' slum." Josh hummed as he rubbed his chin. He leaned against Ace, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Like, even if it's Imp City, it's still–"
"Yeah, I'm with Josh." Apple added from where she sat behind Coco, combing her hair. "Imp City is a bundle of ick. Can't we just move here? I'm sure Bee could hook us up with fucking bomb real-estate."
"Apple," Milky sighed and rubbed her temples. "Gluttony is a giant fucking jungle. Do you know what's in the jungle?"
"Um...No?"
"Exactly. None of us know what the fuck is out in that jungle."
"I think Tex might." Coco pointed out.
"He's still exhausted from entertaining the Queen Bee." Kiki shook her head. "Like, almost drained after the Free Roofie Night backfired."
"That was a fun little experiment. We should try that again." Milky grinned as the others tittered.
"Sluts, focus." Verosika leaned forward over the table, partially to flaunt her cleavage in a show of domination, and partially to show how serious she was. "Bee's little snack has been spending more and more time in Pride. If I want his fuck card, I need to be in Pride. If you want in on that slice of cake, you're gonna follow me."
"Yeah, fine." "Ugh, okay." "Twist our nips, why don't you?"
"Speaking of our future knotty treat." Ace grinned and started to investigate his nails. "Guess who happened to overhear him and Bee talking about a possible stroll this morning while he was making a supply run?"
"When and where?" Verosika asked, giving him her full attention. She'd been unable to keep tabs on the Virgin until he came home from his bodyguard gig. Since then Bee had been keeping him busy in the most boring ways possible; by having him and his amazing duplication magic jump from room to room to help her remodeling. Great eye-candy without any chance of getting treats, as was part of her arrangement. Until they'd gotten their new office sorted out, and unless he made a pass at her, Verosika had to leave him with Bee. The Queen Bee was basically forcing her into edging, the conniving cunt.
"Somewhere called 'The Garden'. Now wouldn't that make for an ironic place for a V-card to be lost?" Ace asked, grinning back at her. Josh cooed and patted his partner on the chest before leaning up to share a deep kiss.
"I've never heard of 'The Garden'." Verosika hummed. She pulled out the map for Gluttony they had and rolled it open. Outside of Bee-Lzebub Manor and The Gutted City, there were no marked locations on it. There was a series of lines that separated portions of forest into different sectors and she frowned. She tilted her head and looked around the small portion that had a spiral next to its number: fifteen. "Probably here."
"What makes you-?"
"Every post on social media about this hunk has a spiral somewhere by it."
"Small place, but far." Kiki hummed as she leaned in beside her. "You'd have to go through five miles of wood to get there."
"Vee, before you get any crazy ideas, I am not getting lost in the woods today." Milky deadpanned. Vee sighed as more of her Crew started to murmur their agreement.
"Alright, fine. Then we stick with my plan. We move to the Pride Ring and from there, we corner him and strike."
"Dom play on a virgin? That's so kinky, Vee." Coco teased. Verosika leaned back on her heel while she flicked her hair.
"Yes, well, we might as well start him somewhere." She smirked and pushed the map aside to point at the building. "I want to be in that building before the end of the month. Everyone clear on that? ...Good."
Seated at the small island in her manor's kitchen, Bee-Lzebub crunched down on a bowl that once held the special Beelze-mix 'Dip 4' for her Sinister Snac'Ums corn chips. The familiar taste of her honey was too strong for the whole bag of crunchy goodness. She took another large chomp out of the bowl before she tossed the last of it down, and she swallowed. She pursed her lips and groaned.
"I just can't taste it. Fuck." There was a reason she had her Baby Bro, boyfriend or any other (un)willing partygoer sample her shit. She drummed one hand's fingers on the table while another whipped up a confection that emulated a corn dog. That was gone nearly just as fast. She scowled again and let her head rest on the counter. "Ugh, I'm so fucking bored."
A soft whirl of familiar magical essence that felt only just off along with a flood of sweet smelling 'Vibes' suddenly drifted into the room. One was extremely familiar and the other not. Her boredom suddenly vanished and an idea struck. Pulling the smile off of her face, she closed her eyes. If she could just get her wings to stop–There we go! And now…tease.
"Can't party yet, too early and short notice; can't experiment with Beelzejuice, running low on resources; can't fuck Tex because I think broke him–"
"God. Dammit. Bee." Bee-Lzebub started snickering at the defeat in her Baby Bro's voice. "Seriously, get a fucking hobby!"
"I have a boyfriend for that, you should try it yourself sometime." Bee smirked before she spun on her seat to grin at –Oh, hello. She was out of her seat and in the new Hellhound's face, scenting her as she memorized every detail. Vanilla and a lot of it, along with caffeine and a serious case of Daddy Issues. Oh, and she's not vaxxed yet either, interesting. "Oh, aren't you cute?"
"Um, thanks?"
Aw, 'Bashfulness' was so delicious from the uninitiated! Super cute, and young, too! Ooh, Baby Bro growled and–Wow, that was a lot of mutual attraction between them. Ugh, she was going to get a fucking cavity, this was too sweet.
"Bee," Baby Bro gave her a pointed glare. "This is Loona, from Pride." Oh, no...She was a shelter pup. Poor thing...Hello fucking delicious swell of 'adoration' that came out of fucking nowhere! Baby Bro, what?! Oh, gosh, the way he was smiling at this pup – Loona, right? She had to commit that name to memory – how did he get attached so fast to this little stray? "Loona, this is my sister, Bee-Lzebub."
Ah, the full name. That was him trying to warn her from doing anything underhanded or embarrassing. Shame he never got the handbook on how to be an older sibling – Not that she did, either, but she watched enough TV during a 'Digest Day' to have a good idea. – so he was going to be sorely disappointed. Oh well, sucks for him.
"Nice to meet you," Bee grinned and cupped her chin with one set of arms while the other rested her hands on her hips. Her lower left hand snapped its fingers and pointed at her accessory. "I dig your collar."
"You too, to meet you, I mean. And thanks. You're...hot? Ugh." Loona grimaced and hid her eyes into a hand. Baby Bro gave her a flat stare and Bee shrugged. What? It wasn't her fault that he brought someone that was at least bi-curious into her house.
"Yeah, I get that a lot. So, you two are heading over to The Garden, hm?" Bee asked. Loona was avoiding looking at her, but kept an ear on Baby Bro. Oh, that's promising! She grinned at Baby Bro while he massaged his temples. "Gonna go fertilize some crops?"
"Party foul!" Baby Bro snapped around a low growl while Loona's brow furrowed. Ooh, Bee was getting some serious fucking milage out of this little arrangement.
"Fertil–What the fuck?" Loona asked with a scowl. Hey, little stray's got some bite! She just keeps getting more and more interesting! "Who fucking says that to someone they just met?"
"Hi, Bee-Lzebub, Queen of Parties, Jackasses and Gluttony, nice to meet you." She joked with a laugh. Neither of them laughed, but they weren't 'disgusted', so that was a plus. She shook her head before either thought she wasn't taking this seriously. "For real, though, don't do anything too risky out there, Baby Bro. And bring me some steaks or something. I'm–"
"Hungry, yeah I can guess." He snorted and stepped forward to hold a clawed hand out. His tail lashed once behind him and a low growl sounded in the room. Woof, he had to ease back on the dominance display before she started feeling challenged again. Her manor couldn't handle that–Shit, little Loona here probably wouldn't survive it. "The pass?"
"Mm-mm, no. Better idea." Bee side-stepped him to get back in Loona's face – now she was growling? Good, she was, fiesty! – and she took hold of Loona's arm in two hands, before she held a third over the back of her hand. Her eyes bled red and her essence spread around the Hellhound, going into the stray's system to–Wait, what the fuck?
"What the fuck?" Bee blinked and her 'Opening Ceremony' ended. She looked down at her hands, then at Loona's, and then up at the Hellhound's face. She grabbed the Hellhound's shoulders and moved in again to get a 'Vibe Check'. Bitter tastes of 'confusion' and 'disquiet' were accented by a sour sprinkle of 'fear' and there was a faint hint of–
"Bee!" Baby Bro's snarl shook the room and Bee found herself hauled off–Scruff! Fuck! OW! Not okay! Not cool!
"Get the fuck off of me right fucking now!" The demand was heeded and Bee found herself back by the table. She snarled at her attacker and he snarled right back. "You want to challenge me in my own fucking home?! Again?!"
"We. Do. Not. Vibe Check. Hellhounds!" Baby Bro stood directly in front of the stray, his True Form bled into Restriction, but he withheld himself from letting so. She snarled at the insult, did he think he was stronger than her? Better than her?! He pointed a chitonic finger at her as he bared his teeth. He hissed at her, his Vibe filled the air with 'anger' 'hurt' 'defiance' and...a 'plea'? He was...submitting, not challenging. "Your House Rules, Bee. Not mine. Just give me the Pass, and we'll go."
"...Fine." Bee pulled herself together and exhaled. She flicked a ring of honey into existence and it solidified into a band. She flicked it over to her Baby Bro and then went back to her seat at the table. "There. Have fun." Bee manifested a new bowl of 'Dip 4' and a fresh bag of Sinister Snac'Ums corn chips. She had only just started on them when a hand rested on her shoulder. "Weren't you leaving?"
"In a minute." He squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'll explain when I come home."
"Go have fun before I decide you need another ass whooping." Bee warned around a handful of Snac'Ums. She was still rankled by the disrespect that wasn't, and the fact her Opening Ceremony apparently wasn't needed. A whirl of emotions filtered out with the activation of another House Seal.
"Tch, ungrateful little shit. Could've told me she was already using Goetian magic before I tried to unlock her core. How the fuck was I supposed to know she was naturally gifted?" Bee grumbled. She inhaled another two handfuls of chips and dip before she sighed and propped her head up by the chin with her upper right hand. "I better get to fucking name one of the pups from their first litter."
The blinding iridescent flash of Bee's House Seal bled away to reveal a forest of blue-barked trees surrounding them in a clearing. The few stags that had been here likely immediately bolted once the House Seal appeared. That wasn't the thing Naruto was most concerned with at the moment.
"What the fuck was that?!" Loona rounded on him as soon as they arrived in The Garden, her scent laced with all sorts of sour and bitter tasting 'vibes'. Which, fair, getting a 'Vibe Check' from Bee was akin to her plucking at your emotions from the very place they originated from. The only reason he was so okay with it was because he mostly grew up Here with it. When he was younger, it was a more casual thing, gentle brushes to gauge how he felt. It's why they were so touchy-feely as siblings.
"A terrible fucking start to a first date." Naruto sighed and dragged a clawed hand down his face, an uncomfortable blaze swelling in his gut behind where his navel would be if he had one. He'd almost busted his True Form out over a stupid altercation, and that was definitely a no-go when near a minor classed demon like Loona.
"Yeah, no shit!" She snarled as she crossed her arms. She growled again as her hackles remained way up. "Fuck! That was so not okay!"
"I know. It wasn't part of my fucking plan either, alright?" Naruto growled at her. She rounded to glare at him and he forced himself to turn his glower to his palms as he craned his head back to the golden hexagonal sky, before his claws raked over his eyes. In her own Ring of domain, she probably had eyes on him, watching him even now, to see if he was going to act out against her. Just thinking about it really made his tail lash.
Fuck, he needed to calm down. From the 'taste' around her, Loona did, too. He swallowed the vitriol that sat in his mouth and looked back at the grumbling Hellhound.
"Loona–"
"The fuck do you want?"
"To calm down."
"I am calm–"
"I want to calm down, goddammit!" Naruto snarled from the spicy 'anger' and 'hurt'that should never have been there. Fuck, he was all sorts of out of it, things were pushing on his self-control and needed to get out, needed to be free, needed to des—! He rounded on the ball of his foot and threw his arm across the air with a roar.
A trinity of trees suddenly found themselves cleaved down and he huffed before he looked at the now quiet Hellhound over his shoulder. Her eyes were wide and her tail was still behind her legs. Fuck. FUCK. He groaned into his hand again.
Calm down. It's fine, you didn't screw up permanently yet. Fuck, please not have screwed up permanently yet. He took a deep breath and then offered the same hand he just dragged down his face to the Hellhound in question.
"...What?"
"Please. Just...Take my hand. And trust me?"
After some deliberation that included a quick flash of teeth and a flick of her tail, a justified warning, she slipped her hand into his. A gentle tug and swift placement on his part had him putting the tip of his nose against hers when she stepped closer.
Fucking Nirvana had never come to him so easily as it did when they pressed their noses together. Her sweet vanilla scent would fill his snout and overwhelm any lingering 'Bad Vibes' in the air, aside from the familiar-but-not vibe he still couldn't place that tacked onto her natural scent. The swelling heat in his gut dropped to a cool simmer before it vanished entirely. The lash of his tail turned into a consistent wriggle and his chest started to rumble as if one of his 'sweet spots' was getting scratched.
Loona's hackles fell as her subsonic growls quelled, which allowed him to hear the whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of her tail. He cracked his eyes open to meet the same half-lidded gaze on her face that was likely on his own.
Huh, that familiar-but-not scent just got mixed with something 'sour'? Lust? And...'Blood'? Ah, her claws were cutting through his old-as-fuck 'Mr. Chainsaw' shirt into his lats. Oh, okay, that makes sense. As long as he wasn't hurting her curvy, curvy hips–Whoa, down boy. Date one, hold, don't caress.
"You need to warn me next time." Fuck, did her voice always sound that amazing with a hint of a growl in it? He must've been deaf to it before he reached true enlightenment with the power of nose-touch.
"There is no preparation for The Queen Bee," Naruto rumbled back, a bit lost in this mild state of euphoria. His eyes drifted shut again as he enjoyed the cool feeling of her nose against his. "There is experience and hearsay, no in-between."
"Not what I was talking about."
"Hm?"
Huh. That was something more than her nose against his. There was something soft against his lips – Damn, but what was that delectable familiar-but-not 'taste' he couldn't place? It was so fucking strong right now – and a bit of pressure let him swallow her sweet breath that'd somehow gotten pushed into his mouth.
Oh, this was a full-on kiss, wasn't it? Right, he'd done that before, granted he was more human than and his partner at the time was his yet-to-be killer. This is way fucking better than that time. ...Wait, was she pulling back? Why?! No, he didn't want it to stop yet–Ow! How'd she get his lip like that?!
"I need to breathe, too, dick." She chuckled as he dabbed at the small cut with his tongue. Huh, when did they hug? How did he miss that – Loona was looking at him with her so fucking pretty eyes. "Sorry...I've kind of...been-been thinking about doing that since yesterday. Then you started up another 'Boop' and it just felt–"
"'Boop'?" His eyebrows furrowed and lips quirked. That's a word he hadn't heard in a hot second.
She stared at him and then pulled her hands from his neck and hair – hot shit, when did she put her hands there? Note to self, kisses were distracting – to cover her face. She whined – oh, fuck! That had to stop yesterday. He couldn't handle the way his chest was being torn in half from hearing that sound – and her tail stopped whooshing. In fact, it curled around her legs, if the faint brush against his shin was anything to go by.
"I didn't just fucking call it that out loud."
"Pretty sure you did." He couldn't help the smile that was plastered on his face as she pushed her covered face into his chest. Another, softer whine tore at the strings that held his heart together. He chuckled and circled his arms around her to keep her upright. "Yeah, it happened. You didn't finish explaining yet, y'know."
"I-It's dumb."
"Loona." He chuckled and gently pulled her hands from her face to smile at her again. "I started a date by getting you emotionally – and partially physically – molested by my own sister. Pretty sure I win in 'worst contribution to a first date'."
"I just...When Blitzø first adopted me, I-I had to be the one to establish boundaries. He knew fuck all about Hellhounds." She admitted with a laugh laced with as much spicy 'irritation' as the dry 'amusement' that accompanied it. "And whenever I tried to claim something, you know like a couch seat or the bed, he wouldn't let it fucking go. He would approach me and push on my nose with a finger. He called it a 'Boop' and I always fucking hated it so much. Because...because he made a game out of not knowing he was triggering–"
"Territorial instincts?" Naruto hummed, and she nodded. Yeesh. That shit sounded rough to get through, and for a near-adolescent like Loona to have to teach her own fucking 'Father' about it while adapting to a new living situation? No wonder she wanted to reassociate that feeling with something more pleasant. "Hey, let me try something real quick?"
"Couldn't stop you anyway."
Alright, the strong bitter sting of 'shame' started to pervert her sweet vanilla scent. Now he definitely knew she needed a pick-me-up, so he reverted to something he used whenever he and Bee decided to make charity visits. His hands released the loose hold on her wrists to hold her sides and leaned down to rub his muzzle against hers. The rumble in his chest was still going strong and she started to relax, the bitter 'shame' and sour 'distressed' tastes left her sweet vanilla scent and left it alone with the one fucking 'vibe' he just couldn't label.
"Better?" He asked, voice soft so as to not disrupt his rumble. Loona hummed and her tail swooshed behind her. Her hands slipped from his grasp and circled him.
"..A bit." She admitted. He smiled and rode out the rumble for another minute. It was starting to sink in that they had just spent the past fifteen minutes standing around in the middle of a clearing. Way to have a fun first date, Naruto.
"So, I uh," Yeah, starting a conversation off strong, that was Naruto for you. Linguistic master, be afraid. At least he had her attention, if that flick of her ear was anything to go by, but that was likely due to his rumbled stopping. "I wasn't planning on...the Boop— thing."
"Your mistake." Loona hummed as she rubbed her muzzle into his. What was he going to say again? He forgot because her claws slipped down to graze his butt. Consequently, her hips may have just been stroked by one, if not both, of his traitorous hands. Fuck, those curves though—behave Naru-Lzebub. "You wanted to take me on a Hunt? For my birthday?"
"...Oh, fuck, yeah. Shit." Naruto closed his eyes and – ugh, this was the worst decision he's made all day – pulled his hands away from those sexy Hellhound hips before he got distracted again. A step back to keep temptation at bay, and a small sour 'dismay' mingled into her scent. Sorry not sorry, he needed to focus. "Just, before I forget–"
"Oh, is this the surprise part?" Loona cocked her hips as she crossed her arms – which, not fair. That was fucking cheating. He was the goddamn ninja here! Cheating was his thing! – to eye him with her too fucking pretty crimson eyes. "I was under the assumption that the 'molestation' was part of it."
"Fuck, no. I'll own up to that, though. I should've known she'd do something similar; I'm used to Bee acting like that with me –" Weird, her vanilla scent just gained soft hints of 'Lust' and that familiar-but-not sweet smell increased around them, but with it was a spicy 'irritation'. Why was she irritated? Probably for the whole molestation thing. "–No, I wanted to offer to, um, help you learn some basic magic–"
Huh, how and when did he get on the ground? Was there a weight on him? Oh, hey, Loona's pretty eyes were glowing again.
"You can teach me magic? Not restricted to House or Sin tricks, but straight up, legit, fucking Magic?!" So, yeah, maybe Loona had a thing for magical ability. Not only were her ears perked and her tail wagging nonstop, there was a heavy, but healthy, amount of 'Gluttony' that overwhelmed the rest of her scent's 'vibes'...and that was really doing it for Naruto.
"Er, not quite." The wagging slowed and her ears fell. He was quick to add. "But, but, I do have some books that I don't necessarily need anymore and I can walk you through the exercises."
"Exercises? It's fucking magic."
"Technically, it's 'demonic energy manipulation'," Naruto droned, as the many boring theory instructors and books stated, before he smirked at the flat stare Loona leveled at him. "But sure, magic users need to exercise, too. It's part of the body, and like any unused muscle, needs to be trained."
"What are you? The Gluttony Ring's Royal academy's Phys. Ed. teacher?" She scoffed.
"I could be, you don't know." He teased and poked her exposed, smooth, toned, but soft stomach. She yipped — so cute! — and glared at him. "I'd like to get off of the ground now."
She growled and almost put them in another 'Boop' haze, before she caught herself, pulled back and flicked her hair out of her face. Still dangled over him and it smelled great. Figures, he was still close to getting stuck in another 'Boop' haze; this Hellhound was just so fucking pretty.
"I'll sit on you to spite you, don't fucking tempt me."
"You tryin' to threaten me with a good time?" He shot back with a smirk.
"You're so immature." Loona growled as she leaned down closer to his face. Her breath still had a hint of milk and vanilla from her latte, but it was hot. And kind of tickled. "How old are you, anyway?"
Well, shit. He forgot that that was a question Hellborn asked each other occasionally. What was a good estimate? Twenty-something? Thirty?
"Does it matter?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"It didn't until you tried to evade the question, just now."
Typical. Just fucking typical.
"May I sit up to answer?"
Loona hummed, her eyes rolled up an-Oomph! Okay, lighter than him she may be, but the buck-sixty-something pounds of pure Hellhound muscle was not something he was ready to have dropped on him all at once. He was also completely unprepared for the hot whisper that blew into his ear.
"No." Sweet fuck, merciful Douchifer, he had to not let the blood flow shift down south right now! That nip in the chin was not helping, Loona! It did start his rumble up again and his tail contorted uncomfortably in its attempt to wriggle from where it was under his ass. "You look like a runner. I give you an inch, you'll be gone a mile."
Well, she's not wrong.
"I don't know." He sighed and let his head flop back. Ugh, he could feel all sorts of shit getting tangled in his hair the longer he laid on the ground. He felt clawed hands move from where they held his shoulders down to rest one atop the other on his chest. With his arms free, they moved up to start…Not exploring, more like surveying her long, powerful lean thighs.
That thought should not make me as hungry as it did. He mused to himself as his stomach let out a near-silent glurgsh, as if it were disagreeing with him. Which shouldn't be the fucking case, given all the 'vibes' he'd been exposed to since this date started at Hothead's Cafe. Quiet, you.
"You don't know what?" Loona asked, interrupting the argument that almost started between Naruto and his second brain. He looked back at her and then tasted his own scent as it filled with spicy 'shame'.
"I don't know how old I am."
He withheld a wince and a whine, he hated admitting that. It was all sorts of embarrassing. Almost more embarrassing than who he considered his first kiss to have been stolen by. Fucking bastard couldn't just ruin his love life, he had to go and kill him, too.
Loona pulled back to straddle his waist, and though it was super hot to see when he did glance, it was not helping him fight to control his blood flow. If anything, that made it rush all the wilder through his system, including (but not limited to) towards his face, ears and nose. There was a growing pressure at his groin he was not comfortable with; and he'd chosen a looser pair of jeans just for the hunt later.
"…How?!" She finally asked as she glowered down at him. "It can't be because of that 'Time works differently in Hell' shpiel-!"
"Er, kinda?" Naruto pulled his left hand from her leg and wobbled it. Instead of returning to her leg, his hand slipped under his head and started scratching leaves, sticks and clumps of dirt out. "I mean, Bee found me while she was wandering around these woods like...six thousand years ago?"
"Found?" Loona repeated before her jaw dropped. "Six thousand-?!"
"Look good for an old fart, don't I?" He winked. Then yelped when she flicked his nose. Both hands shot to cover the sensitive organ. "Ow! Loona, what the fu-?!"
"Stop dropping bombshells and get to the point, asshole!" Her growl was betrayed by the taste of her 'vibes'; some minor sour 'Lust' gave her overall sweetness a nice twist, and the spicy tang of 'Wrath' followed a dry 'concern', all of them edged with that deliciously weird familiar-but-not 'vibe' he couldn't friggin place.
"I'm getting to it! Damn." Naruto hissed as he scrunched his sniffer and blinked away the sting. He pinched it a few times with his free hand before he huffed at the Hellhound. "I told you I don't like fucking talking about my past, Loona. Part of it is because I forgot a lot."
"So, what, you've looked like this for six thousand years?" She asked, eyes narrowed.
"Oh, no, pfft I fucking wish. I was...hibernating? I think that's how Belly, er Belgaphor, described it." He tapped his chin and tried to remember what the Sin of Sloth had said about his condition. "I've been walking around on and off for like, three-hundred and seventy-something years? Most of that I was still a little runt, and I kept conking out at random intervals because of a health issue? Shit, I've only really been awake this time for, like, ten or so years. We're closer to the same age, developmentally speaking."
"Excuse you?"
"I mean, what, you didn't always look this hot in your teens did you?"
"We're not talking about my body right now."
"Can we after–? Joke! It was a joke!" He quickly backpedaled and covered his snout when she lifted a curled finger to his nose. Flat red eyes, that were gorgeous as Sin, kept staring at him as he stared back at her. She eventually lowered her finger and he waited about beat before he lowered his hands.
She immediately cupped his muzzle in her claws and kept her cool nose just out of reach of his so she could force him to look into her eyes.
"Bad joke. Bad timing. Work on it." The Hellhound didn't ask so much as order with her growl. To which, yes ma'am! You bet your sweet ass he nodded the second he had an opening to. The reward for such swift response was a quick trip to fucking bliss courtesy of a stolen 'Boop' was followed by another question. "So, you're six thousand years old?"
"Only if we go by my soul's age and chronological time."
"Then how old–?"
"I'm in my twenties. I think?" Naruto furrowed his brow and then shrugged. "I dunno, fuck math. I just guesstimate based on how old I was before I woke up like this."
"What, did you have a different body before?" Loona snorted and he started looking away again before she tapped his nose with a claw. All of the attention belonged to the pretty Hellhound that was still straddling him. Immaculate red eyes were narrowed. "Naru-Lzebub."
"Ugh, don't call me that. Not you." He fought back the whine as best he could — almost four hundred he might have been, a child at heart he would always be — but it still slipped out. Gentle warmth blew on his face in a huff before—Fuck yes, Boop three. A couple more and he should get a free bowl of Ramen.
"Answer the question." Loona grumbled as her tail started to swoosh. Oh, good, he wasn't the only one succumbing to the unstoppable power of 'The Boop'. He'd started to think it was a secret weapon at this point.
"Fine." He sighed and glanced at the sky. As foggy as his mind was from 'Boops', he could still tell when time was slipping by. "But this is the last question, alright? The answer needs context and the context takes time to explain. We should go hunting before it gets too late."
As if on cue, her stomach growled. Cute little gurgle that it was, it still stirred Loona from her daze. She gave him another Look, one he didn't need to taste her vibes to understand, before she huffed and laid down on his chest. It felt so ...right.
"Agreed. Now answer."
"Right." Naruto let his head fall back again and he closed his eyes as his hands moved to play with the soft grey-white hair that fell down her back. His rumble started again as she pushed her nose up to the underside of his. "Back before Heaven cast Lucifer down, Hell was just the place Beyond the Gates. A place where deceit, murder and other Evils were common. It had no name to the higher powers, but to the inhabitants...we called the various lands the Elemental Nations."
AN: Wait, what the fuck was that? An actual first kiss? Outshined by the power of Boop?!
Oh, and sudden lore dump is sudden. It might happen again. No promises.
Remember, its just fucking Fan-Fiction