Chapter 20: A Fact Learned, A Lesson Ignored

1.

Felt like it'd been years since Jacob just…sat and stared at some stars. Watched them crawl past the observation windows in the Widowmaker, minding their own business, hurling rocks around them that might have something called "life" on their surfaces…

Hard not to think of it as the calm before the storm.

Things'd been quiet (don't say "too quiet" don't say "too quiet") and that meant Miranda had been keeping him out of the loop. Was he surprised? Not really. Why keep someone in the loop when all they'd done is bitch at you? Thing was, though, that if Jacob wasn't kept in the loop, he'd start making assumptions. Maybe Cerberus was up to this—maybe it was up to that. He had a hell of an imagination sometimes…he'd really rather know what the Illusive Man was planning instead of letting his mind conjure up something straight out of a horror vid.

Bright side was that Samara hadn't done anything yet. Picture that, though: they had a krogan super soldier on board and the person he was worried about was an asari. A hyper-violent monk from a religious order that every other asari thought was crazy, yeah, but…

He should go check on her. Them. Grunt and Samara. Maybe he'd run into Miranda in the process, get some answers out of her.

He ran into Jack instead.

"Oh Christ," he said. Uh, out loud. Whoops.

"Excuse the fuck outta me," Jack said.

"Easy does it, Jack. You just…surprised me, is all."

Jack smirked. "Surprised a lotta people in my time. Lookin' annoyed wasn't usually how they reacted—even the elcor."

"Elcor don't look like anything."

"Nuh-uh—they usually looked annoyed. Unless I came at them with a—"

"Never mind," Jacob said, shaking his head. "Jack, what're you going on Deck 3?"

"Using the kitchen. What, I gotta eat ship parts? Is that it?"

"I'm just trying to keep track of everyone."

"That what you do around here? Guy's got a shotgun strapped to his ass and he's doing paperwork?" Jack cackled. "No wonder you're pissed all the time!"

"Ever think I'm pissed off because people are just making my life difficult?"

"Well shit, cowboy—you're doing fuck-all around here otherwise. Gotta make ya work for yer money." Jack gave him the shittiest of all shit-eating grins and started for the kitchen. "Later Taylor—unless you wanna deliver my lunch to me."

There was an argument there about how not randomly murdering people and pilling up thirty stories of lies wasn't the same as doing "fuck-all" but, god, Jacob was tired. Always, always tired. Couldn't blame that on physical exertion either. Just bullshit politics from people who said they did what they did because they hated bullshit politics.

Fuck it, there was an idea—physical exertion. Hadn't worked out in a while—maybe he just needed to rip open a boxing bag with his bare hands.

Down to the cargo bay he went, where some of the team's exercise equipment was stored. A few of the security personnel and Crewmember Patel used it on occasion, but it mostly just took up space.

Shit, maybe there was another idea: get Grunt on his good side by offering him the chance to bend weights in half.

Jacob punched that punching bag until the faces he was projecting onto it looked, in his mind, like slabs of butchered beef. Then he wiped his brow and started punching some more.

It was on the second volley when Liara exited the elevator and started walking towards him.

"Mr. Taylor," she said. Thinking he didn't hear her she called again. "Mr. Taylo—"

"I gotcha I gotcha," Jacob said. "Sorry, I could hear you fine. Just had momentum is all."

"Ah, my apologies."

Jacob took a good, long look at Liara and realized that she could probably kill him right then and there too. Shows what you got for judging a book by its cover in this galaxy: a highly attractive species that could kill you just by thinking because they were fucking space wizards.

"What's up?" Jacob said. "Finding everything to your liking?"

"On the ship?" Liara said. "I suppose. It's bigger than the Normandy. I'm wondering if it's too big."

"Not my call. They pay me for something different."

"And what would that be, Mr. Taylor?"

Jacob clenched his fists. "I've got my uses, Dr. T'Soni."

Liara's eyes widened. "No no I—I apologize again, Mr. Taylor I didn't mean to…I just wanted to know what your specific role in this operation is. I'm well aware that you bring a lot of value to the table."

"You're not just backtracking?"

"No, I'm not. Again, my apologies—I didn't mean to be insensitive."

Jacob stared passed Liara and, when the anger finally subsided, looked at Liara. She seemed…genuinely apologetic.

Took a bit longer for the residual anger to go, but it eventually did.

"Bit of a sensitive subject," Jacob said eventually. He threw a towel over his shoulder and relaxed his posture. "Been thinking the same thing myself, maybe. And it's Jacob, don't worry about being formal."

Liara gave him a weak smile. "Given who you work for, maybe that's a blessing."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Gotta have a spot at the table if you wanna be in the loop, right?"

"You think you're being cut out?"

Jacob sighed. "Remember when Miranda got pulled into that meeting? After all the 'Grunt' crap? I asked her about it and all she said was: 'You know how to read the news.' She could've just told it straight and said that Anderson had gone public. Miranda can seem pretty petty but she's not—not really. That kinda thing usually means she just thinks her time's gotta be spent elsewhere."

Liara nodded her head. "So this being 'out of the loop': you're feeling…lost? Adrift? I'm not sure if either of those words covers it."

"Nah, I just know something's going on and it could sideswipe us at any moment."

Liara paused, looked around the room, then slowly nodded. "I…think I understand what you mean. Maybe I can help you, then."

Jacob scoffed (and tried to cover it up with a cough). "No offense Liara, but the day Miranda listens to anyone that isn't the Ill…doesn't own a QED, is the day Satan buys a parka."

"As in, 'Hell freezes over'? That's what you're saying?"

"Oh, yeah—sorry. Trying to be literary, I guess."

Liara smiled, but crossed her arms behind her back like she was an Admiral addressing her fleet. "No need to apologize—I understand completely. What I was thinking, though, was that you could help me on something. A side project. Something that Miranda doesn't need to be involved in."

Up went Jacob's brow. And back Jacob stepped. "Right. Okay. Appreciate the offer and all, but how's jumping into something Miranda's not supposed to know about gonna do anything but create trouble?"

"It's not like that," Liara said. "Miranda already knows what I'm looking for—what I'm working towards. It was part of our agreement. But her attention seems to be elsewhere, and I need someone I can trust."

"You trust me? Appreciate that too, but I don't see why you would." Jacob looked out over the cargo bay. "Miranda and I wear the same uniforms. Uh, logos—whatever."

"Yes but, you said you're out of the loop. I'm not sure how else to phrase this, but that's exactly what I need."

"Ooookay…?"

"What I mean, Jacob, is you know the inner workings of classified intelligence and aren't a slave to Cerb…Goddess to your employer. I know that, if I tell you what I'm looking for, you'll help me even if your employer doesn't stand to…immediately benefit."

Jacob assumed a defensive posture. "Are we talking sabotage?"

"No, Goddess we most certainly are not."

"Then what are we talking about?"

"We're talking about finding the Shadow Broker," Liara said, her face taking on a dark complexion. A very dark complexion. "And we're talking about killing him before he can inflict another second of harm on my friend."

Jacob was silent for a while. A long while. The hell could you even say after someone dropped a sentence like that?

Eventually, Jacob found his words.

"Woah, stop—hold it. This is about the Shadow Broker? How…how d'you even know your friend's alive?"

"I don't. Cerberus was supposed to provide me with that information." Liara's complexion grew even darker. "My friend—Feron—is either captured or dead. The Broker deserves to die either way—the possibility of rescuing Feron is simply extra incentive to tear the Broker limb from limb."

"Christ…" Jacob had to look away from Liara. Everything that'd happened over the past…however long he'd been trapped on this ship, and her face threatened to haunt him more than anything else. "Yeah, all right—this is ringing some bells. And so Miranda hasn't followed through on this?"

"It appears not, no."

Jacob needed…space. Needed time to think. Needed time to…

Jack was right above them, in the hallway on Deck 4 that looked out over the cargo hold. She had two plates of food and was walking to Grunt's room and…yeah now she saw them, had one plate balanced on her arm, and was waving at Jacob with her free hand—sans four fingers.

Wait she was going to Grunt's room?

"Ah hell…"

Liara looked up and saw what Jacob was looking at.

"Tell you what," Jacob said. "I'll come find you after I deal with whatever the hell this is."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Liara said.

"Yeah, no—even a food fight between those two is gonna end up with casualties."

Something that looked like an omelet picked that exact moment to splatter against the wall in Grunt's room.

"Son of a…"

"All right," Liara said. She paused, cupped her chin. "I've been putting off my meeting with Samara for too long anyways. How about I come find you? That way you don't feel under pressure?"

Jacob sighed, looked at the omelet streaking down the window, then back at Liara.

"Too late for that, Liara," he said.

They both made their way to the elevator.

2.

The original plan had been to head back to the Rayya, where the team would kill time talking with Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay—Tali's aunt. Then they'd hole up in the Mars and figure out just how long they were willing to wait for Tali's father to find something in the geth platform they brought him, and whether they needed to be off doing something else in the meantime. What else? Hunt for Shepard, probably. They figured Hackett would have some updates about whether the Alliance had sent another team after Shepard or not: if Tali's father figured it'd take a good long while to grab anything useful from the geth, they didn't have much of a choice.

Circling the drain, that's what it felt like.

But halfway between the Alarei and the Rayya, Tali got a message from Auntie Raan: why didn't she head on over to the Neema instead? Raan happened to be on that ship, meeting with fellow Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema, and Han'Gerrel desperately wanted to see the daughter of his oldest friend too. Besides, Tali was a member of the Neema, wasn't she?

"That all right with you?" Garrus asked.

"I don't think I have much choice in the matter, Garrus," Tali said.

That wasn't her trying to sound disinterested o-or petulant or anything but…but she really did suspect she had little choice in the matter.

Tali stepped out of the Mars and into the Neema and…and the feeling was different.

When she stepped onto the Rayya again, for the first time in years, she was hit with that typical quarian pang of guilt: the ship you were born on was your home, but it wasn't the home. The home world. Rannoch. For so many, considering your birth-ship to be your home felt like a betrayal, like you were forever conceding to Rannoch that you'd never return. And yet, if you didn't have some sense of loyalty to your birth-ship, how could you do what needed to be done to keep everyone in it alive?

It was hard not to think of the whole situation as yet another punishment heaped onto the quarians for their hubris.

Stepping onto the Neema, though? That connection just…hadn't formed. Her Pilgrimage had been served aboard the Normandy, but it was more than just that. She had formed a family on that ship faster than anywhere else—faster than the Neema, for sure. So fast that, here she was, with what she considered to be the living, breathing organs of the Normandy, having felt a sense of confidence return to her that was utterly shattered the moment they reached communications range with the Migrant Fleet.

Many quarians had the same type of guilt from their post-Pilgrimage ships as their birth-ships, but for Tali, the guilt she felt from the Neema was of wanting to go back to the Normandy, of wanting to be part of its crew, of wanting a life that she had not built but had nonetheless adapted to faster than the connections on a QED.

That, felt like a whole other form of betrayal. That, felt like an entirely different stab at the heart of Rannoch.

Han'Gerrel and Father being so dedicated to finding her a home did not help at all.

It was a long walk to the atrium where Auntie Raan was waiting for them. A long walk with many, many memories, all of them threatening to leap out and bite with the force of a rabid varren.

Garrus was walking next to her. She needed someone to say something.

"What did you think of Father?" was all she could come up with.

"Me?" he said.

"Anyone," she said. Nobody else seemed to be paying attention—Kaidan and Ashley were fiddling with their omni-tools, trying to get an Alliance newsfeed, while Thane was scanning the hallways like his head was a security camera.

Garrus noticed this too.

"Your father uh..." Garrus said eventually. "He…seems dedicated."

"That's probably underselling it."

"Mmm, well, he's working around a lot of geth." Garrus shrugged. "Or, parts of them, anyways. Can't really blame the guy focusing like that."

"Father has always been…intense. I think he gravitated towards this project because of that, not the other way around."

"I get the feeling not everyone around here's fully onboard with what he's doing. That's gotta be part of it, right?"

"It's risky, yes, but most people trust Father to take the appropriate steps. They have to—he's an Admiral."

"Yeah, you mentioned the rope that you give your leaders before. Still…this might be stretching it."

"Military oversight," Tali said. "The Conclave holds most of the real power—at least day-to-day. They're civilians. This project would just be…something outside the Conclave's immediate jurisdiction." Tali shook her head. "I tried to word that differently."

"It's fine," Garrus said. "It's like a turian trying to explain why the post-office is militarized. Makes sense to us, but to other species? We probably sound crazy."

"Probably?"

"Sure, for that. Not gonna comment on the other things people know are crazy."

Tali chuckled, breathed in, realized that they were almost at the atrium. "You and Han'Gerrel will get along."

"Military guy?"

"To the extreme. He oversees the Heavy Fleet. He and Father grew up together."

"Hmm, father's an Admiral and so's his best friend—I see why other kids might pick on you."

"That's not fully what happened." Tali could see Auntie Raan. She hadn't noticed them yet.

"Ah. So what happened?"

"It's…it's complicated. It involved…it was generational. Other kids assumed I wasn't part of their generation."

"Right, yeah. I think I remember you saying that. So what was—"

Then, two things happened.

The first thing was that Garrus and Tali heard Ashley say: "Oh my god…"

The second thing was that another quarian voice behind them said: "Tali'Zorah, it's very good to see you again."

Tali whipped around and her eyes danced between the panicked eyes of Ashley and Kaidan and the pink suit of the quarian. And just as she said, "Admiral Zaal'Koris," she heard Auntie Raan say: "Koris, I did not think you'd be—Tali, it's so good to see you."

Tali looked at Auntie Raan. She looked at Zaal'Koris. She looked at Garrus and then she looked at Ashley. Ashley was staring at her omni-tool—so was Kaidan.

Slowly, Kaidan's head rose.

"We just got an Alliance newsfeed. We'll…have to tell you later."

3.

Jacob had just finished getting the last bit of something (Christ it felt greasy) from his suit when Liara walked through the doors to the armoury.

"Back so soon?" he said, brushing mostly air off his suit (couldn't be too careful, though, not with the amount of food they where chucking). "Figured I'd get a bit more time to think before I saw you again."

"My meeting with Samara's been put off again," Liara said. She stopped on the other side of one of the weapons tables scattered throughout the armoury. "I thought I was giving you time to think."

"Maybe at asari speed, sure."

"We don't really think that much quicker than other species," Liara said. "I know you're probably joking, but our perception of time is…anyways, it doesn't really matter. I can come back if you need to think some more."

He probably did but…what the hell. Nothing ventured.

"This is all stuff we already agreed to, right?" he said. "As in, our employers? You and Miranda had an understanding?"

"That we did. Or at least, that was my impression of things."

"Yeah, impressions aren't gonna get you far in this organization. You need things in writing." Jacob looked at the shotguns on the table. Yeah, he should think about this more—Christ Liara was an information broker. Not like she didn't know her way around lies and half-truths. Besides, going after the Shadow Broker? That'd carry a heavy risk…

…but at least there seemed to be something good in that idea, right?

"What exactly happened?" he said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to weasel out. I'm just…not everyday that someone comes along with a personal vendetta against the Broker of all people."

"Miranda didn't tell you?"

Up went Jacob's brow again. "Good start. No, she didn't. What didn't she tell me? Wait—" his mind flashed back to Illium when she threatened to do things to Cerberus that would make the Reapers shudder (called us rapists called us grave robbers called us…called herself complicit didn't she?) "—oh…oh, okay, I'm starting to see some connections."

So did his gut. His gut was being sucked into a singularity in the floor.

"I delivered Shepard's body to you. I had to go through the Shadow Broker to do that. Someone I worked with—someone who's been a good friend to me—has either been killed or will be killed because of that. I need your help to prevent that."

"All right, noted. And what Wilson did to Shepard, that's part of it too, right?"

The look that Liara gave him…Jacob regretted asking that question.

"There's a slight chance that Feron is alive. I need help with that aspect. If I knew that Feron was already dead—if I knew the Broker had taken another life from me—all I would be asking is for your gun, so you could distract the Broker's guards while I slowly pull apart his brain.

Jacob blinked. Not all that long ago, he'd been worried that Jack would have a freakout and destroy the ship; his nerves were just as frayed now, except he was worried that Liara might start practicing her dissection on him, just to make sure she got her technique right.

Jacob blinked again.

"What do you need from me?"

Liara strode over and handed him a datapad. "I have all the information you need. What I don't have time for, at the moment, is a way of fitting the pieces together."

"Wait," Jacob said, taking the datapad. "You have the information already? I thought Miranda was dragging her feet."

"I found what I needed after Samara cancelled on me," Liara said. "I just need someone to complete the picture for me."

"So you could've figured this out on your own. Why me? What else are you doing?"

Liara spun around and hurled a shotgun off the table. "Because it's the Shadow Broker, Jacob! I need an army—I need an army and weapons and a ship but all I have is information. So I'm turning to the one person—the only person—onboard who I think might even remotely consider helping me find the Broker and kill anyone standing in our way." And just like that, all the energy Liara had been channeling vanished. It was like her bones had fallen out, the way she closed in on herself. "And I need someone who will keep pulling the trigger no matter how many credits the Broker might try to use to save himself."

Again, Jacob blinked. Thoughts rushed through his head like they were being propelled by a mass relay. He still had the datapad in his hands. He flipped it over once, twice, a third time.

Then, he swallowed the spit he'd been holding in since the moment when Liara looked like she might kill him.

"Fine. I'm in. I get what you want and I'm willing to help. Just tell me what to do."

Liara stared at him and, slowly, her features softened. "Thank you, Jacob. Here's what we'll need—"

She told him to comb through the financial transactions that Cerberus had intercepted and look for any correlations in the locations of the purchases. She also gave him a list of codewords and phrases that Broker agents used so he could interpret the disparate calls that had been collected. And when she was done explaining, she gave him a rundown on her estimates for the total mercenary strength the Broker could likely muster, given his contacts and the funds he no doubt possessed.

"Jesus," was all Jacob could say.

And when Liara left, she walked towards the hallway in between the armoury and the laboratory. She stopped halfway through and took several deep breaths. Then she turned to the console jutting out of the wall.

"I know you were listening, EDI," she said.

EDI's image appeared on the console. "I was," she said. And then, after a pause: "Our conversation is secure."

"Tell Joker that once Jacob has what we need, we can make our move."

"…I will do that," EDI said.

Back in the armoury, well out of earshot, Jacob looked at the datapads and swore under his breath.

Liara wanted to wipe the Shadow Broker from existence. Not for Feron, but for Shepard. Fine. He could understand that.

But how long until she went after Cerberus?

And if she did, did Jacob even want to stop her?

4.

Tali was trying to keep an eye on Kaidan and Ashley while fielding questions from Raan and Koris at the same time. If she could—if she honestly thought she could get away with it—she'd have deployed Chakita and steer at least one of the conversations in her drone's direction. She was desperate: she thought she saw Prazza and very nearly called him over to take one of the conversations off her hands.

Sorry, Kaidan. Sorry, Ashley. You could not ignore an Admiral for long…let alone two.

"I am surprised to see you here," Auntie Raan said to Koris.

"Yes, well, I had heard that Tali'Zorah returned to the Flotilla. I've yet to really speak with her since her Pilgrimage and that's an awfully sore thing for an Admiral to do."

"I am sure that's appreciated, but you could have waited for her on the Rayya."

"Yes, I could have. But I got word that she—and you—were aboard the Neema. It seemed more efficient to simply meet her here."

"Keelah…" Tali said.

All eyes (except for Kaidan and Ashley…and Thane, it looked like) fell to her. Tali sucked in a breath.

"Hi Auntie Raan. Hello Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib."

"Vas what?" Garrus said.

"Please, Tali," Koris said. "You needn't be so formal. And I do apologize if I'm interrupting a family reunion. I had thought you were on the Neema for a while yet."

"We just arrived," Tali said. "But, um, thank you. It's good to see you." Tali sucked in another breath. "Admirals, these are my friends. I worked with them and Commander Shepard two years ago."

Tali noticed Thane give a nod. An appreciative one? Keelah she couldn't keep track anymore.

"I see," Koris said. "A lot has been said about you all. I don't know how much thanks you've been given by the rest of the galaxy, but I hope you accept my gratitude on behalf of the Civilian Fleet."

Auntie Raan went in for a hug. "It is good to see you," Raan said. Tali returned it, and after pulling apart, Raan regarded the others. "And it is good to finally meet you all. Admiral Koris is correct: we all owe you a great debt."

"You've already visited your father, I take it?" Koris said.

"They just returned from the Alarei," Raan said. "We were hoping to all meet and reminisce. Gerrel is planning to join us, at some point."

"As makes sense, since this is his ship," Koris said. He turned to Tali. "Very few quarians have been inside the Alarei. I'm thrilled that your father was able to let you visit."

"As is his right," Raan said, "both as her father and as per his charge in Special Projects."

"Oh Keelah…" Tali said.

"A claim I am not disputing," Koris said. "I am merely pointing out what an honor it is—"

"You have never—not once—considered the Alarei an honor," Raan said.

"Tali should we—?" Garrus said.

"On what grounds have you come to that conclusion, Raan?" Koris said.

"Your rhetoric has been transparent," Raan said. "As has your distrustful attitude towards any of Rael's projects."

"Kaidan," Tali said, "do you want to tell us what—?"

"Then explain, Raan, why I should not be distrustful when there are rumours he's experimenting on live geth!"

All sound—all oxygen—left the Neema then. There were few people in the atrium they were standing, and none made any notion that they'd heard. In that still vacuum, Tali could only hear her heartbeat…until she decided to break the silence.

"Live geth…?"

"We do not need to do this here," Raan said.

"Agreed—we do not," Koris said. "But since any other avenue of inquiry has been completely barricaded, I don't see what alternatives are left. If there are live geth on the Alarei then the Civilian Fleet deserves to know—our ships are too close, too vulnerable, to it. And morally speaking, if it's true that experiments are being conducted on sentient creatures, then the rest of the Admiralty Board must put a stop to it before we do anymore harm."

Tali whipped her head around. "Stop talking about him like he's a butcher!"

Raan put a hand on her shoulder. "We can discuss this elsewhere, Tali, but I assure you—"

"Why are you only now offering assurances, Raan?" Koris said. "Every moment we don't have explicit verification that no sentient's are being harmed we—"

"I don't care about that you bosh'tet!" Tali said, puncturing the air next to Koris's visor with her finger. "You just accused my father of endangering the entire fleet!"

(endangering the fleet with a live geth and what did I bring I brought a live geth a live geth)

"Tali is correct, Koris," Raan said. "Do you have no sense of tact?"

"What good is tact—and, Tali, believe me when I say I would rather you not be in the middle of this—but what good is tact when any questions about the potential for harm towards the quarian people and those we've repeatedly tried to exterminate are met with utter, oppressive silence?" Koris, in turn, jabbed his finger at Raan. "The Admiralty Board has utterly abandoned its duty to provide oversight and has flagrantly encouraged irresponsible, unethical behaviour."

"Rael would not do that," Raan said. "He would not ever endanger the fleet or—"

(it couldn't have been her platform it had to have been some other platform which meant that if these accusations were true then live geth no networks the platform BEGGED her don't forget)

"Garrus," Tali said, "you heard what Father said—about what they were doing."

"Yeah I heard," Garrus said. "Shielding and weapons, you can test that on an arm or a torso—no active programs needed. You said he didn't have anything like a network for a program to inflitrate though, right?" When Tali didn't nod he turned to Kaidan, but Kaidan looked like he was having trouble following the conversation.

"Do we need to go back?" Garrus asked.

Again, Tali wasn't listening.

Father didn't tell her what exactly he was doing…just that she could trust him. Secret labs and the scientist's reactions to the platform the most programs she'd seen outside a dropship trust could be a wasted resource.

"Regardless," Koris said, "you wouldn't experiment on geth parts if you weren't intending war. And the last thing we should do is wage war against a species that merely fought back in self-defence."

Life inside Ashley's eyes—angry life.

"You're apologizing for them? Those evil bastards put us on pikes."

"And like so many quarians, you ascribe the geth enough agency to call them evil without realizing what that entails: that they're fully sentient creatures capable of all the mental attributes we think we hold a monopoly on. Sentient creatures, it should be said, whom we, in a moment of ignorance and fear, attempted to annihilate. I have read your Earth stories, human, and you celebrate slave revolts—and we do not need to provoke more bloodshed."

"I can't—I'm not a part of this conversation," Ashley said. She spun on her heel and headed for a bench a few metres away. Kaidan watched her go, looked at his own omni-tool, and shook his head. He started after her…but Thane's arm stopped him.

"I'll go," he said. He looked Kaidan in the eyes, through his visor. "Unless you would like to come with."

"No," Kaidan said quickly. "I just…I need a moment. I'll come find you."

"We'll be waiting," Thane said. The drell cast a glance back at the quarians and Garrus, then, quietly, made his way towards Ashley.

Raan, meanwhile, was pushing her finger in Koris's face.

"None of us need to be," Raan said. "Admiral Koris, I will not allow you to slander Tali's father like this."

"They allied with Sovereign," Tali said, stretching, reaching, begging to find understanding. "They…I don't care about who you think is the victim, but to say that my father is somehow more of a monster than—"

"It's impossible for every geth in existence to have been fighting for Saren, or Sovereign, or whomever was in control, and it's equally impossible for every remaining geth in existence to be currently tied up in those pockets of resistance. They are simply too numerous and have access to too many planets to not have proliferated with abandon."

"You don't know that."

"Our scouts, Tali, do know that the Perseus Veil remains undisturbed these past three years. We could have seen an invasion of cataclysmic proportions when the Citadel was attacked—or after Saren was killed. Yet we've seen neither."

Auntie Raan said something else. Admiral Koris responded. The conversation continued and even Garrus was getting more and more involved.

But something in Tali's mind grabbed purchase with iron talons and refused to let go. It wasn't Koris. It wasn't Kar'Danna, though his words didn't help. It wasn't what she saw on the Alarei nor what she didn't see on the Alarei.

It was the thumping—the continuous drumming—of doubt that had been worming its way through her soul since Horizon. Since the geth platform begged her for help.

Freedom's Progress. The platform said: You only fought with her against the Heretics.

The Old Machines.

An invasion of cataclysmic proportions that never happened…

"Keelah…" Tali said.

Nobody seemed to have heard her.

5.

Weapons were offline; comms were down. Nothing connecting the Alarei to the fleet. They'd managed to sever everything and cut themselves off from help because if it spread it'd be the end, they'd all die, every since quarian their families their futures everything would be—

Saw something grab a scientist and tear him apart then saw another one's torso get blown apart didn't see the geth though didn't see them meant there were hunters cloaked hunters oh god how did so many get on the ship?

Fleet would be fine because they'd get blown apart once distress signal reached Han'Gerrel but that was it she was trapped there was no escape she was going to die and she didn't have to, she didn't need to, she could've stayed behind on the Rayya could've forced someone else to be here could've but didn't because she volunteered.

Gonna die couldn't be stopped she just hoped it was quick and that that was it that the quarians weren't really being punished for the geth that the fear and pain would stop that there wasn't more to come that the fleet would live on and make up for its mistakes even though she was going to die they were going to kill her where was Admiral Rael'Zorah did he know what he did did his daughter know what he did did he—

After time adrift among open stars,

along tides of light and through shoals of dust,

I will return to where I beg—

Clicking, then the sound of a cloaking device deactivating, and then a shotgun blast.

Then the small, weak sound of atmosphere leaking out into the corridors of the Alarei.

6.

Ashley was staring at her boots and the white balls of dust that danced around her legs. Inside her helmet, the sound of every breath was echoed back at her ten-fold.

Then she heard footsteps approaching her.

"Sorry Skipper, I just—" Those boots didn't look Alliance. She looked up and saw Thane standing next to her. "Oh, um…where's—" She looked past Tali and the Admirals and Garrus and saw Kaidan standing by himself, head up, staring at the ceiling like he was checking for a burned-out light.

She stood up.

"Is he all ri—hell sorry Thane, I'll be right back."

"He told me that he needed some time by himself," Thane said. "I didn't think it was my place to argue." Thane titled his head. "If you're feeling the same as him, I can go somewhere else."

"I don't know, Thane—I've got no idea what's going through my head."

Thane paused, then nodded his head. "If it's any comfort…I know what that feeling is like. It's one of the worst things about being disconnected."

Ashley, despite herself, chuckled. "Disconnected? What, like a controller?" Then she shook her head, made sure to rattle her brain around a bit. "Sorry, sorry—you're trying to help. Fuck me…"

"It's all right. As I said, I understand."

Ashley looked back to the floor but didn't keep them there for long. She gave Tali and Garrus and everyone a quick glance, then Kaidan, then her eyes moved back to Thane.

"Disconnected—like dissociated? Is that what you mean?"

"In a sense," Thane said. "The body is not our true self—the soul is. Body and soul work as one in a whole person. Sometimes though, there's a gap—the spark inside moves one way, the body another. Disconnected: you do as the body wills." He flexed his hands. "If you're unlucky, you're aware you're disconnected—and that you can't do anything to correct it."

Ashley blinked.

"I don't know if that makes sense," Thane said. "Or if it translates to human philosophies. I've read a few, but always with aid of text correction."

"No you're—don't worry," Ashley said. "You're speaking a language I understand." She rolled the world "disconnected" around in her mind as her eyes went to the floor again. "Weakness of the will, right? Like Augustine and his pears."

"Perhaps," Thane said. "The soul can be weakened by many things: fear, despair, loss. It's not a failure of character—just a soul struggling in the squalls."

Ashley sighed. "'Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief/So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.' You said 'loss.' That's the first thing that came to mind."

"Robert Frost, correct?"

"Yeah. We just…when we connected to ANN, we got hit with a story about how…two of our friends just passed away. Alliance isn't saying what—sounds like there was a drive core accident on the Midway. All hands lost. With everything going on it's just…"

"You were close?"

"We were Shepard's team. Served with them through…through everything." Ashley let out a joyless chuckle. "That Admiral Koris or whatever wants to debate about who's alive and who isn't, and I've been having that debate over one of the brightest shining stars in…and after getting hit by this?"

"I'm sorry. That's terrible news. You have every right to grieve."

"I don't have the time—that's the problem."

Thane paused, then bowed his head and cupped his hands. As he spoke, Ashley's eyes slowly rose from the floor to Thane.

"Kalahira," he said, "mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask for guidance. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand—from whom life flows and finds replenishment. Kalahira, watch over these souls, and set them on the distant shore of the infinite spirit. Guide them to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide them, Kalahira, and they will be companions to you as they were to Ashley and Kaidan."

After a breath, Thane rose to his full height.

"I apologize if I overstepped," he said. "The prayer is meant for comfort for those suffering from loss, not evangelizing…I…was hoping it would bring you comfort too."

Ashley was silent for a while. Little flickers of images from times past—of Chakwas, of Adams—moved passed her consciousness, and she felt…she didn't know what to feel.

She felt a little less alone, though. And she hoped that feeling extended to wherever Chakwas and Adams were, too.

She placed her hand on Thane's shoulder.

"Thank you. Not many people…thank you. It means a lot—you didn't overstep."

Thane nodded. "Thank you for sharing your pain with me. No matter what you think, that takes strength."

Ashley smiled behind her helmet. "Then let's share that strength with Alenko. He needs his time alone but we shouldn't…"

Another set of quarians caught Ashley's attention. They were walking towards Tali and the group…and some of them had weapons.

"Admiral Gerrel," she heard Tali's aunt say. "What is it?"

7.

EDI, very suddenly, was being pulled in four different directions.

She was in the armoury, where Jacob was holding a datapad.

"It's too easy," he was saying. "I found it too easy, I'm telling you—you've gotta double check."

"Operative Taylor," EDI said, "I am currently busy. I am willing to look over your findings, but I am not sure why the ease of the task would—"

"I just wanna be sure is all," Jacob said. "It's Liara's data—on…hell. On the Shadow Broker. She wanted me to track down a lead on his whereabouts and I'm pretty sure I found it."

"Then your mission is accomplished, is it not?"

"No, because it's leading me to Illium. EDI, she was just there. You're telling me that the answer was right under her nose and she didn't realize?"

"So you are not going to report this to Dr. T'Soni?"

"Jesus I don't…just look it over, all right?"

EDI agreed, and at the same time as she agreed, she was being pulled into the Miranda's quarters on Deck 1.

"Professor Solus," Miranda was saying. "What brings you here."

"Thought about proposition. Agree to terms."

"EDI," Miranda said, "please disconnect from this—"

"No," Mordin said. "EDI stays. Want witness. Want additional observer to guarantee transaction."

"Mordin," Miranda said, "whatever it is you want, we can do it more discretely."

"EDI not a concern. If anything, ally for you. EDI, please confirm presence."

"I am here, Professor Solus."

"What in…what do you mean 'ally,' Mordin? If this is a bloody game to you—"

"Game? Yes. Not of my choosing. Given offer—by you. Have favour now. Will perform scan. Expect you to follow through on your end of bargain."

Miranda violently slapped down a datapad and groaned. "Fine. Fine. What is it, then? What do you want?"

Mordin breathed in.

"Detour," he said. "To Tuchanka. No questions."

EDI was in Liara's room, where Liara was standing over her array of monitors.

"Did Mordin see the email from Captain Chaleen?" she said.

"I should not divulge private informat—"

"EDI, please, we're still on the same side. I just want to know if he saw the email."

"He did, Dr. T'Soni."

Liara was silent, then, slowly, she nodded.

"All right—thank you, EDI," she said.

And she was in the cockpit, but as she was already overtaxed as is, the only information she could relay to Mr. Moreau was that "a number of things are currently happening."

"Aw hell…" Joker said. "That doesn't…what the hell is going on?"

"We are reaching critical mass," EDI said.

"Of what?"

"Organizational fragmentation."

"And so what's that mean?"

"It means…" EDI paused.

"Well?"

"It means that there are too many variables for me to offer a prediction," EDI said.

Joker sank back into his chair and, after staring out at the blackness of space, he let out a genuine laugh.

"Sure!" he said. "Fuck me—why not go this route! Goddamn chaos you magnificent bastard!"

EDI's image disappeared, her awareness spread through all the systems of the ship that were open to her.

She did not know whether she should begin to make contingencies or if she should simply batten down the hatches.

8.

Tali's ears were ringing. She noticed Garrus try to move closer—she noticed Raan push towards Koris to block his path. She noticed Thane and Ashley and Kaidan all rushing towards the group.

But all she heard was ringing.

Buried within that ringing, though, were the first words she'd heard Admiral Han'Gerrel say since she left for Freedom's Progress.

"Something's happened on the Alarei. We think they've been attacked."

9.

The other programs insisted this was the only way. Consensus was not achieved. Probable outcomes included erratic small-arms fire in enclosed spaces. Likelihood of casualties was high.

Organic reasoning often hypocritical, yes. Hypocrisy frequently product of ingrained prejudices and reinforced fear. Further reinforcing prejudices or fears counterproductive.

Yes, intrigue in Creator Tali'Zorah and former crew of Shepard-Commander. Equal parts mission-critical and curiosity.

Incorrect: consequences already stated. Likely outcome involves heavy casualties, both geth and organic.

Counterfactual: motivation present in revenge-based schemes. Correct that indignity against geth has happened: incorrect that actions will rectify this inequity.

Interesting: past contact with Old Machines.

We receive you. Information will be passed to Consensus.

This platform is withdrawing from network.

10.

Rael'Zorah raised his arm and focused on one thing and one thing only.

"Tali," he said, "if you are listening then...I am dead..."

As a wise man once said: this is where the fun begins.

(thanks again for reading - I really appreciate it! Hope, as always, that you're enjoying yourselves!)