AN: Kudos to SilverExcel115! You get a cyber cookie!
Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.
One Knuckleheaded Glutton
This Animal I Have Become
Sera tapped her finger on the desk in front of her. Patience was a virtue, she had to remind herself countless times. Virtues were the pinnacle of Angelic requirement, but did not have embodiments as their respective Vices did with Lucifer and The Daemonic Princes of Sin. Rather, it was expected of all Angels, especially the Heavenly Host, to display understanding and show each Virtue without issue. For if one could not, then they would risk opening their home to the Evil of old.
That said, Sera knew this and was well practiced with displaying patience. She was the primary choice to lead Heaven for countless centuries, of course she knew it.
"If only the First Man wouldn't test my patience so often." She muttered lowly. To say she wasn't a fan of Adam was an understatement; but it wasn't up to her who was welcomed in the Kingdom of Heaven. Bottom line: Adam was here, and he wasn't leaving any time soon. Much as she disliked it, she would just have to put up with his idiosyncrasies.
Like she did now, not reacting when the Head Executioner in question kicked her door open and flew in.
"Ha! Boom, baby, the best dick in the sky has arrived!"
"Adam." Sera closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Sit."
"Uh, g'duh. Was going to." He scoffed and claimed the seat across from her. "So, what it is, Boss Lady? I was in the middle of, er, evaluating some new recruits. Y'know? Heh, bow-chika-bow-wow, chika-bow-wow—"
"I have a specific target for you to deal with. It is to be your highest priority."
"What? Wait!" Adam's grin spread into a rather alarming size. "Wait, hold on. Did we get a fucking second Extermination Day-?"
"No." She was not happy with his enthusiasm for such a day. Nor was she happy with his disappointment in not getting it. "This threat is one of our own."
"Ooh, black ops off the book assassination? Super spy shit, right? Sounds hot." He leaned back and interlaced his hands behind his head. "Fuck, yeah, I'm so in! Also, name of my latest sex tape."
Patience was a virtue. Patience was a virtue. Patience was a fucking virtue.
"You wouldn't have a say in the matter anyway." Sera managed to say with a straight face. "You will take a small squad, and deal with Raquel."
"There's an Angel named Rachel?!" His mockery of demon horns seemed to straighten as he sat up in his chair. "What, did she suck a dick that wasn't mine or the Pope's? Fuckin' shit, do you want me to turn her back to the side of sweet bed-rockin righteousness?"
"Raquel," Sera grit her teeth. "Is a former Seraph. A Fallen."
"...Is she hot tho?"
Sera slammed a hand on her desk and stood, towering over the Head Executioner with her might granted by the will of Heaven empowering her. With a touch of the Holy Spirit, to boot? Guess He really was keeping His hands free unless He deemed it necessary. Sera felt honored to take the role of Metatron, if just briefly.
"Keep speaking as such, Adam, and remedial lessons of Mine own design will lie in your immediate future."
"..R-right, Dad. Erm. Ahem... So, this Rach-er, Raquel..." Adam shifted uneasily. "He's like, uh, Lucifer?"
"No." Sera sighed as the Holy Spirit left her. She sank into her chair, a touch drained. "No, Raquel was...A recruit. Our first Redeemed Soul."
"And they Fell? Yeah, more proof that redemption doesn't fuckin' work." Adam chuckled.
"He Fell before Lucifer, but remains a member of the Choir."
"…Sorry, what?"
"Consider Raquel your predecessor, Adam." Sera smiled. She let her words sink in and watched realization come across the First Man's mask. Yes, even you can be replaced in the eyes of God, Adam. Do try to remember that.
"...Fucker's as good as dead. Are we going down to Hell for this, or-?"
"We can only do so during the Extermination." Sera deadpanned and once more ignored his bloodlust. She folded her hands in front of her atop her desk. "He was last sighted on Earth. That is all I can say."
"Ah, my old stomping grounds. Bitchin'!" The First Man rubbed his hands together. "Maybe I can off this shithead and swing by a concert or something. Hook up with a few groupies that want some real dick."
"Try to keep it discreet." Sera said, ignoring his rather loud sacrilege since that was the will of Heaven. It was meant more for the assault on Raquel than it was for his latter sinful plans anyway. The last thing she needed was Lucifer to use this as an excuse to enact Armageddon.
"Yeah, sure. Alright, I'm off to fuck up a Traitor! Later, boss lady!"
In the midst of a vast clearing near the heart of a northern continent, red kaleidoscope eyes cracked open and looked up to the sky.
"So, that is Adam? Disappointing." His eyes closed as he clicked his tongue. "How grand this new world would be if you had just let things go, Naruto."
Loona had heard stories growing up of the Seven Sins and the powers of The Ars Goetia. The horrific tales of their might and power. They said lesser demons, or the equivalent to today's Hellborn, couldn't withstand the full presence of such foul natured beings. Some died on the spot, others would be driven mad. As for Loona?
Well, now she really wanted to fuck her boyfriend.
One would think the almost insect-like alterations to his face would make him less attractive, but like many things in Hell, that was just a manifestation of demonic power. Not to mention, Loona had watched a lot of porn since Blitzø adopted her; not all of it for her own gratification. She'd gone on a date with an Envy-born demon once — she was eighteen and curious and found their sucker-like mouth intriguing, fuck off — but didn't feel a real connection. Also, they kept staring at her tits for the duration of the date.
Anyway, her boyfriend's True Demonic Form? This..Ant-like Foxfiend? Loona liked it. Especially the power that radiated off of it. Were she less aware of her surroundings, she may have slipped a finger into her shorts. Shit, she might still do that.
"Is that right? He sent you back?"
"Y-yes sir, y-your maje—Yipe!" Fatty flinched back as Naruto snapped his mandibles in his face around a hissed snarl.
"I am a Duke in title only, Imp!" The mandibles clacked together before the Duke of Gluttony — Loona's boyfriend, who she so needed to fuck as soon as possible; she was fucking sick of this edging shit! — tilted his head. "Why are you still naked?"
"Er, funny story, really-"
"Dress. Now."
"Y-yes, sir, sorry sir!"
Fucking...so hot. She couldn't stop panting. She wanted his cock, had wanted it before, but now she really wants it. No, not even wants it, she needs it. She was going to explode if it didn't get inside her. Maybe if her head wasn't clouded by desire for her stupid-strong-sexy boyfriend, she'd wonder why the fuck he was so pissed off about some Fallen Angel, but as it was, she could give two shits about his state of mind. She just wanted his fucking body.
The floorboards groaned as he turned and her eyes focused on the white voids that had zeroed in on her. Yes! Yes, sweet merciful Lucifer, he was walking over to her! Yes, yes, yes, come to Loona!
"Hey, sta-stay away fro–!"
"Blitzø, I swear on all that's fucking Evil do not fucking ruin this for me!" She snarled at the Imp before she focused her attention on the sudden nine-foot demon towering over her. She was engulfed in a hug – all his fur was harder than fucking steel, but it felt organic; like a skin made of velvet. His scent was more coconut than violet now, and honestly? Loona was here for it. – and his mandibles clicked by her ear. Ungh, shit, talk about an electric shock going up her spine. Fuck, her tail was going to fly off at this rate!
"I made you a promise." Sweet fuck he was NOT allowed to talk to her with that voice ever again. Her shorts were absolutely ruined. The mandibles teased her notched ear and her knees shook. "And when I get back, I'll keep it."
...Wait, what?
No. No-no-no. No! NO!
"Don't you fucking go anywhere!" Loona snarled up at him – fuck, she couldn't even reach his neck! Yeah, alright, this form? She didn't like it for that fucking aspect alone! Give her back the easily reachable, Boop-able Foxfiend dammit! – and tried to dig her claws into his broader, harder chest to climb him. Ow, something chipped. Okay, physical demand wasn't working; emotional maybe? A not-too-forced whine escaped her as she kept trying to climb up his torso to reach his neck, jaw, head, anything! The fact that he wasn't helping her or responding to her whines breached through her thick haze of desire and fueled some of the subconscious concern that was there. A claw snagged a cracked, spiral-shaped panel of the chiton-like fur-armor on his chest. "Don't–! Please, please, Naruto. I-I need you, babe. I need you so much, right the fuck now."
"When I get back."
Oh, what the fuck is that -sliurk- sound? ...Oh! Oh shit, is that his tongue that's marking her neck? Yeah! Unholy fuck, that's his tongue?! It's gotta be at least two, if not fucking three feet long! Fuck, if he didn't take her right fucking now she was going to break up with him! ...Wait, hold on, something about that sounded like it had a huge downside. Ah, right. Verosika was still a thing – Shit, other females existed out there. Yeah, uh, fuck. Okay, that ultimatum wouldn't work. Where did his arms go–? No! Shit! He's already walking away!
Dammit, her legs were definitely going to give out if she tried to follow him. Okay, new plan, when he gets back, she fucks his brains out and never lets him ditch her again. She will lock that cock down!
A wall of fire sprouted up around him...And honestly, that could work, too. If he can't leave, she can jump him–
"Charlie."
Well, there goes Loona's motor functions, thank everything evil that there was a wall for her to lean on behind her. Fuck, that growl was too effective!
"Naru, I don't know what your planning, but you need to calm down." The Princess of Hell lost her friendly suit and smile and hot fuck, if Loona wasn't totally invested in getting her boyfriend's cock locked down, she'd make a pass at that. Maybe a threesome down the line..No, wait, focus. The horny corrupted judgment. The Princess of Hell's tail - which, where the fuck was that hiding?! — snapped and a pitchfork pointed at the shadow behind the flames. "I will stop you from doing something you'd regret."
"Charlie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but take it from me: if you want to be intimidating..." Oh fuck, he's walking through the flames of Hell.
Hold on. Wait. Yep. Uh-huh, yeah. Yes? Yes. That was an orgasm. Well, it was official: Loona just needed to ditch her shorts already and lock that cock down fucking yesterday. Unholy fucking shit!
A hiss left Naruto's mandibles as he rolled his neck from one side to the next. The armor-like fur that covered his body split in segments and a thick cloud of smoke erupted out from beneath. It filled the room and — shit, if Loona wasn't absolutely fucking drenched before, she certainly was now! Was that another micro-gasm on the horizon? Survey says yes! — the sound of the segments clinking back into place was damn near erotic on its own.
"Then actually be intimidating." Her boyfriend's growl was followed by an evil chuckle. A golden flash of light illuminated the area beneath the smoke. By the time it dispersed from the air, Naruto was gone. A silence filled the room before the one-eyed bitch made a cough.
"...Charlie, um, can you put out the fire?"
"Oh! Fuck, shit! I almost forgot—sorry, Vaggie!" The Princess of Hell hissed and swiped her pitchfork across the air to dismiss the flames.
"Okay, I'll ask." Angel Dust the fucking Porn Star that was going clean – what the fuck even was today?! – raised two hands. "Does anyone else think that was the hottest thing since sex?! Aside from the panting Hellhound, anyway – Damn, dame, you might wanna go change. I can smell ya from here."
"Fuck all of you." Loona panted and shuddered as her knees finally gave out. She let her eyes fall shut and growled when someone walked toward her. "Blitzø, if you come near me, I will rip your cock off and shove it into your fuck-buddy's stomach."
"Loony, I'm begging you. Please break up with him."
"...I must be hallucinating from post-orgasmic bliss, because there is no actual fucking way that you just said those fucking words to me." She snarled. Her eyes cracked open and shone with murderous intent as they glared at her adoptive father. "Because if you did? I'm not just moving the fuck out; I'm quitting my fucking job."
"Loona, come on! You have no resume worth a damn, who the fuck would hire-?!"
"Hey, Princess?" The Hellhound looked at the still fucking evilly erotic daughter of Lucifer. "Do you want any help running this shitty hotel?"
The Princess of Hell left her sexy True Demon Form and returned to the bubbly, smiling manager she was before.
"Yes! We can put you on security with-"
"Absolutely not." Vaggie deadpanned.
"Agreed. I'd rather be a desk clerk." Loona added with a huff as her heart-rate slowed.
"We can put you as the concierge!"
And now Loona had a parasite known as Blitzø clinging to her body in a tight hug. If she wasn't so drained from her boyfriend's fucking teasing..!
"Loona, thank Satan, you're awake! You've been hallucinating ever since that monster left! Saying things and thinking I've said things that I would never fucking say to you!" He forced a laugh and growled, actually fucking growled, at Morningstar. Aw, Loona felt loved. See, that is the kind of shit she didn't mind from Blitzø.
Hey, and now she had an actual ultimatum to throw at him! Bonus.
If only her boyfriend was still here to fuck her stupid. No, wait, he promised to come back and do that. Mm, Loona's life was good. Her tail started to wag as she drifted off in a fantasy-induced slumber while the demons around her bickered.
"Pass me the quiche bacoroni sandwich, babe?"
"I don't know how you can stomach this shit," Tex said with a shake of his head as he gave Bee the requested food item and then settled back with his arm over her shoulders. Another quiet night on the lead up to the annual 'Bee You' celebration, and for once Bee was literally hungry rather than carnally hungry. Tex wouldn't complain; his balls were empty and have been for the past month. Slightly related side note: repetitive dry orgasms are not fun! Zero out of ten, not recommended. Do not visit and save your money for a different t-shirt.
"Sin secret." Bee giggled around a bite. She sighed and snuggled into the crook of his arm. "Oh, oh! Watch this. I fucking love this part. Baby Bro just rears back that rock and–yes! Ha-ha! He destroyed that fuckin window! Just great...Little shit."
"Remind me, why are we watching 'family movies'?" Tex asked, wincing as he watched the little twelve-year-old mongrel – who was, he would begrudgingly admit, too fucking adorable for words with his oversized tail and short lanky limbs that he hadn't grown into – that was Naru-Lzebub slam a bat into the back of Mammon's knee, and run away, but not before dumping the bat in Princess Morningstar's hands. How the fuck did this kid survi-? Ah. Lucifer intervened before Mammon could do anything to the giggling Princess.
"Um, one: my house, my rules." Okay, yeah, Tex walked into that one. "Two: he's gonna hit the coveted seventh millennium, this year. It's gonna be a big blowout party, all the Sins are coming!" She scowled and her eyes flashed red. "...At least, they fuckin' better."
"...I thought he was twenty-three?" Tex frowned.
"Hm? Oh, right. Yeah, physically. No, wait, that's mentally, I think?" Bee shrugged. She licked her fingers clean of the grease her sandwich had left on it. One of her other hands twirled in the air. "I mean, he's got, like, three ages: Mental, Physical, Spiritual. Mentally, he's basically a late twenty-something. Fuckin' brat."
"That checks out." The one-eyed hound deadpanned.
"Physically he's in his...shit, sixth century? I dunno, he slept a lot during the first three and I kind of stopped counting once his first ten year streak of 'growth-without-comatose-naps' hit." Her phone vibrated and she pulled it out. She curled her lip at the seal that displayed itself. "Ugh, fuck; sorry babe, I gotta take this."
"You do what you gotta do." He shrugged and looked at the screen—Why the fuck did that child have a hacksaw?! Oh. Oh, merciful Bee. How did he get away with this shit? Fuck, this little bastard was so not the lazy asshole he was familiar with; if anything he seemed worse!
"Thanks." Bee pecked his cheek and answered the call. "Yeah, sup Lucibitch? ...Yeah, I did just fucking call you that! ...Look, I know you fucked up your relationship, but we're not supposed to be bothered on a date night—Do not bring that up, or I swear-!"
Tex was just gonna scoot down the couch some. For safety reasons. The fact his girlfriend was starting to get 'spicy' – her word for growing to 'larger than normal sizes', not his – was not a good sign. Doubly so for who she was on the phone with.
"—He did what?! Why didn't you open with that, you dumbass?! ...Gah, you know what?! Lilith was right! You're absolutely fucking useless where it matters! ...Go roast one of your precious snakes! I'll fucking deal with it!" Bee snarled as she hung up before she opened her mouth and tossed her Hellphone in–ugh, that's another phone number he'll have to replace from his address book.
"Everything alright?"
"No...Ugh, shit, I'm sorry babe." Bee shrank down and hovered over to hug him. She kissed his cheek and scratched behind his ear. "I gotta go stop my Baby Bro from jumpstarting the apocalypse. Hold down the place til I get back?"
"Yeah, alright, I'll be here–Wait, what?" By the time he registered what was said, Bee was already gone through one of her seals and left him alone with a horde of various snacks of questionable edibility. He looked back at the home movies on the screen and grabbed the remote, fast forwarding through the footage. "There's gotta be a fucking answer to that somewhere in these."
It wasn't often that Sasuke smiled. He originally hadn't since his brother eradicated their family. Not wide, happy ones, anyway. Small smirks or exchanges with his found family, now his Lost Family, were involuntary. Then he killed his best friend and everyone just fucking died.
Except him.
Even when it was his time, he couldn't die. He would vanish. Erased as if nothing mattered. To exist and then not, knowing that everything he did never mattered?
No.
That's why he accepted YHWH's hand. He needed to repent. To absolve himself of sin. Then the old bastard just up and left. Told him that His children would guide the rest and He was needed elsewhere.
Blind leading the blind.
Sasuke, at the time Raquel, was not. Nor was Lucifer. They knew someone needed to step up, that something needed to change, lest everything YHWH created was risked. Sasuke fell First, caving to his fear, and restarting his repentance.
"I had hoped the memories would drive you to guide my son away from this path. But, it is your shackle. I do not blame you, nor condemn you. I must, regrettably, expel you from the choir. It is what must happen. It is not personal, Raquel."
Wasn't it though? Wasn't it personal? To put such pressure on one former boy not yet a man? To wash your hands of the issue? Yeah, that didn't sound personal at all.
It wasn't often Sasuke smiled. The sight before him didn't change that.
"What the fuck are you smirking at, traitor?" A spear-wielding angel sneered.
"They modeled your forces' uniform after my brother's ANBU mask." Sasuke shook his head. The Wicked Tongue revealed many truths to him before it perished; it was older than he by millennia, and starved to death on his already empty carcass. He flicked his wings out and rose up, kaleidoscopic eyes focusing on the hundred Exorcists that stared him down. "I've always wanted to defeat ANBU."
"He's taking in tongues, sir, what do we do?"
"Oh, I dunno, it's a nice day. Maybe let's just hover here for a minute and stare at each other like a bunch of assholes – Let's fucking kill him, dipshits!" Adam snapped. He pointed at Sasuke and his mask's twisted grin spread into a wide smile. "I got some sweet pussy to fuck after this."
"I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should." Sasuke closed his eyes. He flicked his left hand and the Sword of Kusanagi burst into existence. His skin darkened to match the Exorcists' and a black compass rose mark spread across his face, bridged over his nose. His hair grew longer and his black feathered wings turned into massive leathered webbed claws.
"Dios mio." One Exorcist gasped. The rest stared at him in shock and horror. Adam just arched a brow and chuckled.
"Alright, I can admit that's fuckin' metal," he smirked. "But there's a hundred of us, dumbass. The fuck is one dinky little sword and a costume change going to do?"
It wasn't often that Sasuke smiled.
But he did now.
He lifted his right hand and beckoned the force of Heaven forward.
"Come and find out."
Far from the Fallen Angel and Exorcists' clash, another fight had started what felt like hours ago.
It had only been minutes.
Deep in Purgatory, the lands forbidden by all Demons save for the Sins to venture to, was a vast realm of near-nothingness. It was a remnant of an old 'version' of Hell, a land void of the concepts of Life or Death. Time was non-existent and Space depended on the whims of the strongest occupant. It was the perfect place to stall someone.
Bee grunted as she caught a right hook in two hands, then jammed the claws of two more into the exposed joint of the elbow. The opponent roared before he hissed. Red lightning suddenly rocketed out of the pierced skin and into her body. She roared as the limb blew off and knocked her back. She snarled and glared at her opponent as his twisted regeneration replaced the exploded arm.
"Baby Bro, you need to chill the fuck out–Shit!"
A chain wound around her ankle and she was whipped across the vast expanse of near-nothingness that Purgatory was. She landed with a roll and righted herself with a snarl, red eyes locked on the tense form of her foe. Another chain burst from the ground and wound around her neck. She was slammed face-first into the not-dirt, not-cloud surface once, twice, and stopped the third attempt by chomping through the chain's length.
She spat the horrid-tasting construct out before it made her sick. She knew better.
"This doesn't involve you, Bee." Her Baby Bro – somehow in better control of his True Form than he had been months ago when they last clashed; when and how the fuck did he manage that?! Questions that would have to wait – flexed his regenerated claws a few times as the chains retracted to hover over him. Bee growled and shifted, a stray thought she'd wonder about later almost distracted her. "It's personal. I won't be long. Tell the Short-King Wannabe that everything is under control."
Shit, he knew Luci sent her. Well, that's not a hard guess; he knew she knew little Char-Char asked Baby Bro to help her with her dumb hotel rehab plan – Rehab didn't work unless those that went wanted it to work; Bee knew from experience. Alas, the Princess didn't listen to her, so now she had to deal with an indirect consequence of it because the 'Short King' – so, rational thought would tell him that Luci would know if and when he went True Demon Form. That the King of Hell didn't go after him personally despite being close to Char-Char was probably a courtesy.
"How many times do I have to tell you before it gets through your skull?" Bee growled as she rocketed back to him and dealt a double-decked punch to his mandibled face. His white eyes blazed as his oculi narrowed. She dodged the retaliatory swipe and swept his foot out from beneath him. She twisted and cranked the limb hard enough for a sharp crack to ring out. He roared and she snarled. "You are my responsibility. Anything you think is personal, fucking isn't! And going True Form in Pride? You're fucking grounded!"
"You don't understand!" He snarled as he twisted around and kicked her off. Oof. Huh, that hurt the void that was her stomach. Oh, hey, there's some 'royal honey' leaking out there. That doesn't bode well. Another sharp crack had her get up while she cradled her core with one hand to see her Baby Bro get back to his feet – the one she just broke healed already? Fucking seriously!? How did his healing factor get faster, unless...Oh, this fight was such a bad fucking idea – and he snarled as his claws flexed.
...Did he always have five digits on his hands? No, Bee didn't think so–Oh, that's not good.
"Oh, fuck me hard." Bee grimaced as her Baby Bro's arms split down the middle, so now he had four arms, same as her. ...Shit.
"Not even if you begged me."
Whoa, hey, that was a challenge she'd never heard from him before! Wait...Fuck, was he sexually active? Why didn't she know about this?! Did Ozzie know and not tell her?! Was it with the Pretty Pup?! It had fuckin' better have been, Bee had dibs on a name for their first litterborn! Shit, she also needed to lock in the rights as their first threesome part– Did her Baby Bro just explode into smoke?
"Oh, f–!" Four hands burst out of the ground beneath her and locked around her legs. Kinky, was the first thought. Oh, shit! Came second as she was suddenly dragged up into the sky and whipped around by – Huh, a living ladder of Baby Bros. Yeah, she needed to get in on a threesome with him and his Pretty Pup – the living chain of Baby Bros. Wait, she kind of remembered him talking about this. He called it his 'Chain of Pain'; damn, she was banking on it being a sex thing.
A non-mountain-side was not collapsed and shattered as she slammed into it. A giant stone that wasn't real cracked something internally when she smashed through it. Her muzzle cracked after she was whipped into the dirt several times.
Okay, now she's pissed.
"That is ENOUGH!" Bee snarled and stopped the momentum with a flare of power. Flash-hardened honey encased the chain of Baby Bros and she ripped herself free of the grip. Then, she opened her mouth and inhaled. The honey-covered chain was slurped up like a noodle to the last body. Bee burped and patted her bruised stomach as she lowered down to the ground. "Some time in Vore Timeout should cool you off."
"Pass."
Wh–? A double-decker right hook exploded into her cracked – now broken – muzzle and she bounced across the not-rock hard, not-liquid soft surface of Purgatory seven times. Queen Bee was back in the air with a wince in a second before she glared and snarled at her Baby Bro as he stared her down.
Oh, come on, she didn't get him!? Stupid broken clone shit! She growled and her wings buzzed. Fine, he wants a fight? He's getting a fucking fight. No more kid gloves. She coated her claws in a special blend of honey. It would paralyze him the second it entered his bloodstream, she'd perfected it with Belle's help.
"Are you trying to make me hungry? Because it's working." Baby Bro growled as his tail cracked the air behind him. Literally.
Shit, Purgatory was starting to break down from their continued presence in it. Either she ended this now or called in some help – yeah, okay so fuck that second idea on principle. She was Queen Bee-Lzebub, Daemonic Prince of Gluttony, and she was not going to be the one to lose here.
"Baby Bro, you are so fucking grounded!"
"Gro–Are you seriously trying to parent me?!" His roar was shrill and echoed with a hiss. His mandibles clacked as his four sets of claws flexed. "Fuck, what is so fucking wrong with me going to kill a fucking asshole that deserves to die?!"
"The fucking consequences your actions will have, you ignorant little shithead!" She snapped. Fuck, how did she raise such an ignorant little shitheel?!
"Fuck the consequences! I deserve this!" His oculi burned white and orbs started to grow in his palms. His glare met hers and his mandibles curled into a grotesque scowl. "Why the fuck does it matter to anyone how I deal with a Fallen Angel?! That fucker put his hand through my chest! I want my pound of flesh!"
...Wait, what? Luci told Bee that he was going to attack an angel, not a Fallen Angel.
"What the Shit are you talking about–?"
"No! I'm done talking! If you won't get out of my way, Bee, then-then...Fuck! Just try to survive!"
What the fu–? Baby Bro shoved the four glowing orbs on his hands into his mouth and swallowed before he dropped to a six-legged stance. His torso suddenly expanded and that awful fucking shit left in place by the Fuckwad started to leak out of his body. Four chains that wound around him in various spots – the two by his ears and the two by his ankles – dissolved into particles that gathered toward his now open mouth.
Her understanding of Reality vanished.
A voice she'd never heard before echoed around Purgatory. If asked later, she would shamelessly admit to finding the gravelly growl incredibly sexy and super arousing. An image of the speaker overlapped, if not overshadowed, her Baby Bro's form. A colossal orange fox with voids around its red eyes and marks not unlike those on her baby bro's face on either cheek; it also had nine long and very pettable tails flowing behind it. Its red eyes had one Sin evident in them, the same Sin the white voids her Baby Bro had as he spoke about this target of his.
Wrath.
"Bijuudama."
A giant purple-black orb rocketed out of her Baby Bro's mouth and he instantly deflated. Bee threw up several thick walls of Honey, layered by hexagonal combs that should stop any attack.
Should.
The walls held for a second each, before they shattered. Queen Bee could only stare in stunned shock as the impossible attack approached her. As it neared, she tasted its Vibes. The Attack had Vibes.
It was nothing but Negative Vibes. Baby Bro manipulated the Rank Vibes and turned them into an attack...With the shit from the Fuckwad empowering it.
"...I want that..."
The orb struck true and Purgatory shattered.
Naruto huffed and puffed as he surveyed the destruction his attack left. Bee was gone, but not dead. Probably teleported away at the last second. Right? ...Yeah. He'd feel it if she were dead, and even if that were the case, her death would be because of him. Just another reason to erase the name 'Uchiha' from the Book of Life.
Snarl-hissing, he strode into the Abandoned Corridors of Hell, to use them as a cover. Douchifer sent Bee as a courtesy, but with her defeat, the Sins would try to hinder him. To stop him. He wouldn't be stopped. He would deal with this. He had to deal with this. He needed to be able to sleep tonight.
The House Seal of Lzebub shifted, a second line bridged the 'ears' of Bee's seal and was intercepted by a circle where a white spiral appeared within. A portal to Earth swirled into existence in front of him. As he strode through and emerged to a calamity of chaos and death, a memory struck him.
"I'll drag you back even if I have to break every bone in your body!"
"You won't even be able to leave a scratch on me."
His mandibles clicked and his tail lashed. Clouds formed overhead and the ground began to tremble.
"Oh, I'll leave more than a fucking scratch this time, Sasuke." Four clawed hands curled into fists. "Fucking count on it."
AN: Steve would like for me to tell you that he is being properly fed and reimbursed for his hard work. ...Disregard any muffled screams you may hear. That's just Steve being fed...one dick at a time.
Very fast.
Via rectum.
Remember, it's just fucking Fan-fiction!