My head was pounding when I woke up. I had really only ended up having two more drinks, but, as I mentioned, a: lightweight, and b: strong drinks. My mouth tasted sour and fuzzy as I yawned.
"Ahh, and a patrol with Bogo today, yippee," I croaked feebly, opening my eyes at last to my crummy basement apartment. Pipes ran the length of the low ceiling, though I had made sure to patch every leak with some plumber's epoxy when I had moved in. They did make for a great spot to hang shirts after that.
After a scalding hot shower (which, believe me, was pretty rare in my building), a couple of painkillers, and some coffee, I was more or less ready to head out. There was a knock at the door, followed swiftly by Judy entering my apartment.
"How are you…" I began, as she slipped past me to grab a mug of the remaining coffee.
"I'm pretty good, actually! Other than the fact that you're abandoning me all day." She spun from the French press to shoot me a fake glare.
"…So full of energy after last night, is what I was going to say. You were pretty hammered." She shrugged.
"Well, someone made sure I didn't get dehydrated yesterday," she replied sweetly, batting her eyes at me.
"That cannot be it," I said, yawning again, though I did make an effort to turn away from her while my mouth was wide open. "Even you must have limits." She was frowning as I turned back, but the look on her face quickly gave way to embarrassment, her ears turning a bright red.
"Well, I do have this hangover remedy, but…I don't like to talk about it."
"Oh, god, Carrots, please share it with me. I haven't been this hungover in years." She gave me a smirk.
"All those vodka tonics catch up with you, old-timer?" I snorted in response.
"I wish. Only the first was a vodka, the others were all soda. It was the last two drinks that did this to me. What even were they?"
"I don't know, I was already woozy by that point. And you—" she said, bounding across the room with a full cup of coffee without spilling a drop, "—are such a big FAKER! Soda?" She smiled at me as she sipped at her coffee, eyes bright with laughter. I could only shrug in response.
"It's like you said, I'm old. Soon you'll have to put me in a home, and I'll have to gum all my food." I tucked my teeth under my lips and pretended to stagger about.
"Eight years is not that big a difference, Slick." She hip checked me, bouncing me out of my elderly shamble.
"You're deflecting, Carrots. What's the remedy?" Her ears turned red again. She mumbled something under her breath in response.
"What's that? Speak up, Hopps, not all of us have these big, long ears you've got," I quipped, tugging at one of them as I did so.
"Greasy food is supposed to help with hangovers. So…I fry up a bug sausage after a night like last night." She covered her face with her ears, mortified. I let out a laugh.
"Are you telling me that my innocent little bunny has gone carnivore?" She buried her face more.
"It's actually kind of common in Bunnyburrow. No one likes to talk about it, but it works really well. And it helps that I kind of…" Her voice trailed away.
"Yes?" I prodded, drawing the word out.
"Ikindoflikehowittastes." she blurted in one breath. I couldn't help it; I had to let out another belly laugh at that.
"Only you would be so embarrassed by that, Fluff. C'mon, don't want Chief to burst a blood vessel by showing up late today."
"You're not going to use my trick?" She folded her arms and tapped her foot.
"I'll pick something up on the way over." I knew I was poking the proverbial bear, but I had to add, "If you're good I'll get you some pred food, too."
I had to run to avoid the punch she was winding up to throw at me.
…
Two bug patties and a brisk walk to the station later, and Carrots and I were all but ready for the day. I had gotten so caught up in teasing her over the little, tiny bites that she took from her breakfast sandwich that two things had completely slipped my mind.
I would be patrolling alongside Bogo all day long.
I wanted to talk about the trailer Clawhauser had shown us last night. This was the topic that was causing me the most stress, though I couldn't answer why specifically. I guess I've always been a private guy—and having confirmed that the Robin Hood movie was being directed by the same mammal who'd approached us about acquiring rights to our "story", a buffalo by the name of Byson Howard, it really felt like this movie was about us.
Of course, looking up the movie late last night on my own had brought up a lot of the backlash Fangmeyer had mentioned, though she had failed to communicate how much there actually was. There was some from offended vixen actresses who'd been "passed over" for the role, and a few others who were offended on their behalf for reasons I couldn't fathom. But the majority of the ire that the film had drawn so far had more to do with the inter-species romance it seemed to be promoting.
Something about that just set my teeth on edge.
Lost in thought as I was, I missed the few remaining minutes before roll call and the opportunity they provided to talk with Carrots. Sure enough, the whole room was set ablaze with the standard hoots and grunts and growls that accompanied Bogo's entrance, a tradition that fully escaped me.
"Settle down." He didn't have to bellow—his voice was just naturally at that tone already. "First up on today's docket—a very special day for our greenie." A couple of hushed laughs and snickers scattered throughout the room. My tail curled up in a show of nerves. "Wilde, you will be patrolling with me, performing the role of senior partner for your field exam."
"Can't wait," I said, though my heart felt like it was beating a little irregularly. "I've got a mixtape all picked out for today, you're gonna love it. All of Gazelle's greatest hits—"
"ENOUGH!" That time he bellowed. Being seated in the front for height reasons put me directly in the path of his roar, and my ears flipped backwards. I had just been joking, but his response seemed…a little too extreme for my regular morning snark. I must have accidentally hit him too close to the mark…
I could hear the laughter through the room again, less subdued than before. My nerves calmed in just the slightest. Deflating tension through humor was my number one trick to avoiding physical conflict in the past, though I hoped it wouldn't put me in the hot seat with Bogo.
Once the room had settled down, he turned to my partner.
"Hopps, you'll be shadowing two detectives from Homicide today. They'll meet you in the lobby." She gave a happy little nod. I knew she wanted to make detective someday, and if she ever did I'd be sure to scramble after her.
Bogo continued reading off the assignments for the day, and two by two the other officers trickled out of the conference room. Finally it was just me and him.
"Get the car ready," he said, not looking up from his clipboard. "We'll need to take cruiser Z-115, 240 is too small for me." When I failed to move, he looked up at me over the top of his glasses. "I'll meet you there in a minute, Officer Wilde, go ahead."
Hopping to my feet, I gave him a mock salute that didn't quite hide my apprehension as well as I wanted before scurrying off.
At the motor pool, I looked around for Carrots to see if I could catch her before she left, before remembering she'd be tagging along with two detectives in an unmarked car. I did catch a glimpse of stripes, and hurried after Fangmeyer.
"Hey, Fang," I called, skidding to a halt and trying to control my breathing. "I didn't get a chance to ask Hopps; what should I be expecting for today?" She smiled and shrugged.
"It'll just be a normal day of patrol, with two differences. One—you'll be in charge for the most part." I nodded, having figured as much.
"And the second?" Fangmeyer's face fell.
"If it don't pass, you'll have to go through field training again with a different FTO, and Hopps will probably be bumped back down to junior partner for a long while." My blood ran cold.
"Well, that's not fair," I said, jamming my paws in my pockets to hide their shaking. "If I do poorly it should just be on me." She shook her head.
"If you do poorly, it probably means Hopps wasn't ready to be training so soon."
Well, shit.
…
I clutched the wheel of the cruiser tightly, my claws curling around and pressing into my palms.
Z-115, while technically capable of fitting both myself and Bogo, was not suited to either of us. Even with the seat cranked as high and as far forward as possible, I still needed an "adaptor" in able to drive. The adaptor, in this case, being essentially a baby seat.
Bogo, on the other paw, was hunched forward in the passenger seat, looking like Mr. Incredi-Bull in his too-small jalopy. His face, however, betrayed no sign of discomfort. He merely stared forward, impenetrable as rock.
The day had passed, much to my surprise, with relative ease. We responded to three collisions in the morning, two of which involved megafauna, prompting us to call on McHorn and Trunkaby to take over.
We had a quick lunch, Bogo having a flat bread veggie sandwich and a mysterious mug of something that looked and smelled distinctly grassy. I opted for a salad—keeping up with Carrots demanded I maintain a much healthier diet than I had been accustomed to in the past.
Post-lunch involved responding to a domestic disturbance, and a reported break-in at a low-end jeweler's store that I may or may not have recognized as a fence for stolen goods, a fact I repeated to Bogo once we'd returned to the cruiser. After that, a couple of traffic stops leading to several tickets, and then some questions by Bogo about standard police procedure in various scenarios. Eventually the questions petered out, leaving us in the final stretch of the day.
"So…" I spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Hopps and I usually end our patrol at the south end of Savannah Central, towards the Peace Fountain."
"Then get going." A few minutes into the drive, Bogo sighed and removed his glasses.
"Something on your mind, chief?" He turned to look at me; as much as he could in the cramped cab, at least.
"Wilde, do you know what this precinct's policy in fraternization is?" I shook my head slowly before coming to an abrupt halt.
"Is this part of the exam?" I asked, worried I'd flunked in the last fifteen minutes.
"No. But I do feel it would be beneficial for you to know my stance on department relationships."
"Department relation—Chief, is this because of that movie? Because, like I told the guys last night, Hopps and I are just friends." Bogo shook his head.
"Wilde, I have no idea what movie you're talking about. I'm talking about how the two of you behave, on and off the clock. I've been in this department for eighteen years; the last five of which have been as chief. I know what two mammals in a relationship look like." I felt tongue-tied. He didn't know what he was talking about.
"With all due respect, sir, Hopps and I are not in a romantic or intimate relationship." I said tersely, my grip on the wheel growing tighter. He chuckled.
"I know." I gave him as sharp a look as I dared while trying to maintain focus on the road.
"Well, then what's with this whole spiel about relationships, then?"
"Wilde, it's like I said. I have been around emotionally-constipated mammals my whole life. It comes with the territory," he said, giving me a wry look. "And while you and Hopps aren't the most traditional of officers, you both have trouble with either seeing or saying how you feel." My stomach, already bothering me somewhat from the stress and the numerous coffees, twisted further into knots.
"Where is this all going, sir?" He cleared his throat.
"If the two of you do enter into a relationship, let me give you three pieces of advice: two professional, and one personal.
"Firstly, come straight to me the minute you are able to once the relationship has begun. If you disclose your relationship to me from the beginning, it will save all of us a world of headaches in the future. Second, as long as it doesn't impact your work, and you remain professional in view of the public, I won't interfere." I swallowed hard, my mouth feeling particularly dry. I wondered if I was in some sort of hangover-induced fever dream—this all seemed too surreal.
"And the personal advice?" I asked. He gave me a look.
"Don't you think I'm full of it? That it'll never happen?" I did think that, but I figured that playing along might get me some brownie points on the exam. I shook my head. He gave me a long look before continuing.
"You don't believe me," he said finally. "I'll save the last piece of advice for when you both come to me." I wanted to tear my fur out. He was so certain that he was right. Probably just like before, in the Rainforest district. Well, I'd prove him wrong, just like Judy and I had then.
"Wilde?" he asked, a little more hesitant than I'd ever heard him before.
"Yes, Chief?" He fidgeted a little in his cramped seat.
"Do you actually have a Gazelle mixtape with you?"