'Why aren't these children in school?' Miss Hardbroom asked disapprovingly.

Miss Drill sighed. She thought that watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was hard enough to watch with actual children. Constance asked even more questions. Of course she'd pinpoint this immediately.

'Because their father doesn't want to lose them to capitalism?' Suggested Miss Bat.

Imogen pressed pause on the VCR and they all turned to look at the speaker, chewing daisies thoughtfully.

'I read it in a book' Davina said defensively.

Upon being pressed for information, Davina had not actually read the book. Her fish and chips had been enveloped by pages torn out of a rabble rousers edition and she had eaten the paper with it, delicately seasoned with vinegar from the meal it had enclosed.

'Sometimes she absorbs information by osmosis' said Miss Cackle. 'Best not to question it.'

Constance Hardbroom sniffed. She had no patience for this kind of hokey nonsense.

'Surely the sweets could be contaminated with her jumping and skipping all around the workshop' came the next comment.

'Imagine there's a protection spell around it' suggested Amelia.

'Why is she wasting time singing about him when she could just tell him?'

'Because it's a game' explained Amelia patiently. 'It certainly wasn't etiquette back then to exclaim to someone that you liked them so quickly and directly. I'm sure they have a way to go before they can both understand it.'

The others lapsed into observation to the sound of Davina laughing at the clownish inept spies. Of course she would. Constance sighed. She would never get used to these films. Now these people were singing again. The car was a clumsy thing, even in flight. She conceded that the woman playing the doll in the music box was convincing (rather precise). Didn't mind when the queen was ejected from the car into the sea (silly woman) and raised her eyebrows at the rabble of children escaping. She didn't think the elderly inventors were necessary and the cages were an interesting choice. Finally the car was driven into the last muddy puddle (it was about time) before the happy ending.

'No wonder you loved this film. Children running amok, misguided discipline being avenged, sweets everywhere.'

'Doesn't every child?' replied Imogen. 'It's a classic. Could rein in my nieces and nephews with the promise of the child catcher if they misbehaved.'

Constance glared at her.

'And that inappropriate show of vulgarity with the queen in her underwear?'

Amelia coughed and tried not to grin.

'I suppose that was for the adults who had to sit through the film.'

And horny teenage boys thought Imogen but refrained from saying it. Davina giggled. Constance sniffed in disdain, lips tightened.

'Pass the cheesecake will you?'