Author's note: Chapter 130 might be one of the top 10 most emotional ones in my story about Grace and Lucas. I hope you will like it.
Talk about Grace's birthday between her and Lillian is from "When hope calls". Not mine, just borrowing it.
Thanks Avis Minter and Donna Barr Krolewski for your support and help with this chapter.
—--
Grace entered the orphanage from the other entrance, not wanting to alert anybody in the living room before she found out what was going on with Jack. He approached her with his plea and she didn't want anybody else to listen to their conversation, worried that the precious boy would close off.
Therefore, she entered the kitchen with nobody any wiser. Jack was still in her arms and she slowly removed his little cap and gently kissed his soft blonde hair.
She sat down at the chair and let Jack snuggle closer to her, his little head leaning on her shoulder.
Grace gently caressed his hair as she hugged him and for a moment silence prevailed. She waited, not wanting to upset the little boy. She knew that the wisest way was to let him set up a pace for their conversation.
It turned out she was right.
Jack moved a bit on her lap so he could look at her.
"Miss Grace?", he whispered.
Grace softly smiled.
"What is it, sweetie?", she gently asked.
Jack played with a button on his jacket before he silently asked:
"Do you like my buddy?"
Grace felt her heart skip a beat and cold sweat prickled her hairline. She wondered what should she say to Jack, not wanting to upset him.
But as she looked down at his eyes, she didn't saw sadness there.
Only curiosity.
Therefore, she gently smiled as she silently replied:
"I do, Jack."
Jack blinked twice and watched her without a word at first. Grace held his gaze warmly.
And after a minute or two she heard his little voice again:
"How much?"
Grace's lips curled up a bit more.
"To the Moon and back", she silently replied.
Jack watched her carefully before whispering:
"Miss Grace?", at her encouraging, soft smile, he asked "You won't stop liking my buddy like my Mummy did?"
Grace swallowed, feeling tears coming up.
"I won't, Jack", as the little boy nodded and looked down, Grace leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his soft cheek "Sweetie, just because your Mummy stopped liking your buddy doesn't mean you will lose him. You will always have your buddy. And you can always come and visit him if your Mummy allows it."
Jack's lower lip trembled and he wiped his left eye with his little palm.
"I can?", he mumbled silently.
Grace felt her heart breaking at the pain in Jack's voice.
"Of course you can, sweetie", she gently replied.
Jack blinked a few tears away as he looked up at Grace and whispered:
"You won't mind?
Grace gently tightened her hold on the precious boy and playfully tapped his cute little nose.
"Mind? I was hoping you would want to see me too. I know I would like to see you again", she gently said.
Jack sniffed a bit before nodding and hugging Grace around her neck.
Grace pulled the dear, sweet boy close to her and quickly wiped her eyes.
"Yeah", she heard him whisper "I'd like that."
As he pulled away a bit, Grace gently wiped his tears and smiled softly.
"Good", she slightly bounced him on her lap and said in a funny voice "I can't have your buddy to get all the love from you! What about me?!", as Jack giggled through his tears, Grace's smile widened.
Jack's tears stopped as he looked up at Grace. She leaned down and peppered his cheek with kisses, making the little boy shriek with laughter.
Getting up from the chair, Grace carried Jack toward the counter beside the stove and playfully placed him on it.
"Alright. Shall we make that hot chocolate now?", as Jack eagerly nodded, Grace winked as she put a bowl on his lap "You think you can hold that for me, Jack?", at his nod, she smiled as she started to take out the necessary ingredients "Alright. Lets do it."
—--
Lucas entered the orphanage and looked around the living room.
Lillian noticed his look and creased her eyebrows.
"Lucas? Is everything alright?", she asked.
Lucas glanced at her.
"Have you seen Grace and Jack?", he asked.
Lillian shook her head.
"I thought they were outside with you and the children", she said, slightly confused.
Lucas took off his coat before replying:
"They were, but now I can't find them anywhere."
Lillian's face got worried for a second, but then relaxed.
"There's another entrance that leads to the kitchen. You should check there", she said with a small smile.
Lucas nodded, placing a coat over the armchair and quickly walking in the direction of the kitchen. As he got closer he heard silent voices and let out a breath of relief.
He was about to enter the kitchen when he heard first Jack's and then Grace's voice and stopped dead in this tracks.
They were talking about him.
"Miss Grace?"
"What is it, sweetie?"
"Do you like my buddy?
Lucas swallowed hard in order not to gasp, his throat tightening painfully.
"I do, Jack."
"How much?"
"To the Moon and back."
Lucas closed his eyes, trying to breathe properly.
"Miss Grace? You won't stop liking my buddy like my Mummy did?"
Hot tears filled Lucas' eyes as he heard that dear little voice.
"I won't, Jack. Sweetie, just because your Mummy stopped liking your buddy doesn't mean you will lose him. You will always have your buddy. And you can always come and visit him if your Mummy allows it."
A silent breath escaped Lucas as he opened his eyes.
Oh, my beloved Grace!
Lucas slowly peeked behind the doors…only to feel his chest tightening painfully at the sight of Jack's tearful face.
However, his Grace held the precious little boy on her lap, hugging him and gently caressing his little blonde head…making Lucas' heart swell with love for her.
"I can?"
"Of course you can, sweetie."
"You won't mind?"
"Mind? I was hoping you would want to see me too. I know I would like to see you again."
Lucas pressed his lips tightly together, trying not to break down.
How I love you, Grace Bennett! More than I ever thought it possible!
Lucas covered his lips with his palm, trying not to sob.
"Yeah. I'd like that."
"Good. I can't have your buddy to get all the love from you! What about me?!"
Lucas felt a few tears escaping his eyes and he tearfully smiled as he heard the darling little boy's giggle.
He watched as Grace peppered Jack's cheek with kisses, making the little one shriek with laughter. Lucas felt a huge burden fall off his heart.
He watched mesmerized as Grace got up from the chair and carried Jack toward the counter. He couldn't hear what were they talking about, but as he watched them he realized that Grace was engaging Jack in making some hot chocolate, trying to calm him down and make him feel loved.
My beloved Grace…with a heart of gold.
I love you too… to the Moon and back.
—--
After Jack calmed down, Grace, not knowing that Lucas heard the entire conversation, went back to the living room, both of them carrying a cup of hot chocolate.
Agatha looked up as they came in, Jack in Grace's arms. She smiled at the sight of them.
"Where did you two come from?", she asked warmly.
Jack was just taking a sip of hot chocolate, earning himself chocolate moustaches and a bit of marshmallow on the top of his little nose. As everybody chuckled at the sight, he glanced at Grace who winked at him and playfully took a sip from her own cup, earning the same facial decorations Jack had. The little boy giggled and Grace joined him.
"Okay, I think it's time for aaaaaaaa…CAKE!", exclaimed Grace, making Jack gasp in surprise.
"I have a cake?", he asked, eyes wide open.
Grace smiled warmly as she passed the darling boy to Agatha.
"Of course you do! You can't have a birthday without a cake!", she said happily…And in the next moment, her smile faltered.
Lillian noticed a shadow crossing over Grace's face, just for a second.
Oh, no.
She watched as her little sister quickly shook her head and smiled again before she turned around and rushed toward the kitchen. After a few minutes Grace came back carrying a chocolate cake and they all started to sing "Happy birthday" to Jack.
Agatha wiped her tears as Jack blew out the candles, grinning happily.
"My sweet little boy", she whispered. Grace, who stood next to Agatha, started to turn toward the older lady when she heard her whisper "No Mother nor Father for his birthday."
Grace froze, the saddest and loneliest memories hitting her full force.
She took a few steps back, her mind carrying her back to the orphanages, alone on her birthday, no Mum, no Dad, no sister.
She withdrew even more in herself and stepped away from the celebration, leaving quickly toward the kitchen.
Lillian noticed her sister's changed posture, saw her facial expression and her heart ached as she remembered Grace's first birthday after they were reunited. Grace tried to avoid any kind of celebration and Lillian couldn't understand why.
Until Grace took her hand and led her to sat down at the table with her before she started to talk.
"Do you remember your ninth birthday?", Grace silently asked.
Lillian thought for a moment then nodded.
"Yeah", she replied.
Grace gave her sister a sad smile.
"I don't. It was probably a lot like my eighth or tenth. Sometimes I would get a cookie, sometimes I wouldn't", she swallowed before she looked up back at her sister "You know the thing I remember the most about my birthdays? It was the saddest time of the year because it is when I miss my family the most. And every one reminds me of being stuck in this orphanage and being scared and alone and not having you or Mum and Dad!"
Lillian tried to reach out to her and calm her down, comfort her.
"But, Grace, I am here now. And we can replace all those memories with the good ones", she said gently.
Grace shook her head, her eyes filled with tears.
"It doesn't work like that", she mumbled.
Lillian watched as Grace turned around and left and was about to go after her when she noticed Lucas turning to say something to Grace, only to see her leaving too.
"Grace?", he silently called her name, but she didn't look back.
Lucas quickly glanced at Lillian, concerned.
"Was she crying?", he silently asked, already turning around to go after her.
Lillian took a deep breath in before nodding. She quietly pulled Lucas aside, out of everyone's earshot. He watched her, getting even more worried.
"Lillian? What is it?", he asked.
Lillian swallowed hard before quickly wiping a few tears that rolled down her cheeks. She looked up, making sure that no one else was listening and glanced back at Lucas.
"There is something you don't know, Lucas. Grace…she doesn't like birthdays. Well, her birthday. She doesn't want to celebrate it", letting out a shaky breath, she told Lucas about her and Grace's first talk about it and added "It was probably Agatha's comment about Jack not having neither Mum or Dad to celebrate his birthday with that set her off."
Lucas gently caressed Lillian's upper arm before turning around and quickly going after Grace.
Grace pottered around the kitchen, wiping already dried silverware, not even aware of what was she doing.
"Grace."
Her eyes widened a bit as she heard Lucas' voice. She quickly wiped her tears and mumbled silently, not turning around:
"I'll be back in a minute", her fingers shivered as she continued to furiously press the tablecloth against the spoons and the forks.
Suddenly, she saw Lucas' fingers taking a hold of her shivering ones, gently pulling the tablecloth and silverware away from her hands and placing it at the counter.
Grace blinked a few times, not looking up.
Lucas slowly stepped in her personal space.
"Come here", he whispered and gently pulled her in his arms.
And when she felt his warm chest in front of her face, Grace broke down in tears.
—--
She knows I'd do anything she wants me to,
The love she finds is deeper than the ocean.
She knows I'd do anything she wants me to,
A river of dew, warmer than the dawning.
Surrender - tie the cover to the ground.
Surrender - tie the cover to the ground.
But don't turn around and walk away again.
Don't turn around and walk away again.
He knows I'd say anything he wants to hear,
Loud and clear calls the voice of lovers.
He knows I'd do anything he wants me to,
Like ruby rain, I wash away the pain.
("Surrender" - Roxette)