Love is a Many Splintered Thing Bart reunites with Mary Spuckler again. They go out together but Bart annoys her by playing video games. Eventually she dumps him for a spanish kid. Meanwhile Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers sue because this is also the name of a Rescue Rangers episode.
Plot
The Title gag is Peanuts Santa's Little Helper from Treehouse of Horror XIX flying his dog house like a WWI fighter pilot.
"I hate old timey fighter pilots..." said Homer.
"It's the Sky Writer's code!" The old timey sky writer pilot yelled.
"Santa's Little Helper is fighting the Red Feline..." said Oscar.
"Or Fat Cat." said Chip from Rescue Rangers.
Bart winced.
The billboard gag reads: "Springfield Isotopes Spring Training Tickets Available." One of the players says via a speech bubble: "Watch me get ready!"
Cybernetic Baron Howard Duff VIII seethed. "You utter fools! Enjoy your team of losers!" He snarled.
"They're our losers though!" said Homer.
Baron Howard Duff VIII seethed. He simmered off somewhere to calm down or take his anger out on something.
"He's starting to really resemble Baron Praxis from Jak II Renegade..." said Oscar.
"Will you shut up!" Homer yelled.
The chalkboard gag is: " was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word"."
"I was! Ahem!" Oscar clears his throat. "FUUUUUUUUCCCCK!" He cursed loudly.
Bart winced covering his ears.
Monterey Jack gasped offended.
"Ugh... I have to get home..." said Bart. He skates home.
Oscar shrugged and scribbled on the blackboard.
The couch gag is a family of Moes. Ie Homer Moe, Marge Moe etc. They sit on the couch.
"What?" said one of the Moes.
"Well aside from the fact this is really weird mate..." Monterey Jack commented.
"Moe.. Moe... Moe..." said Homer in his green dressing gown in a trance.
The Moes sighed and got up and left.
"Where did they come from?!" Oscar asked baffled.
...
The opening credits are in fancy writing.
We cut to Bart dressed as Woody Allen and wearing his nerd glasses from The Last Temptation of Homer. Oh hell no!
Bart cleared his throat in a nerdy manner.
"Everything I know about women can be summed up by a jump-rope rhyme: "Girls go to Mars to buy candy bars, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider." Except I didn't have to go to Jupiter to get stupider." said Bart. "Ahem! Oy vey..."
"Oh Hell no!" Oscar hurried on screen fuming.
"Oz do you mind?!" Bart frowned.
"You are not doing Woody Allen impressions " Oscar yelled.
"Why not?!" Bart frowned.
"Because Dylan Farrow said he molested her!" Oscar yelled.
Bart face palmed. "Fine, Michael Jackson is guilty..."
"No he's not! Leave him alone!" Oscar snapped.
"Leave Woody alone then..." said Bart.
Oscar seethed.
Nelson arrived. Bart sighed annoyed.
"Ha! Geek specs!" Nelson laughed.
"I had a bigger ball of gas I could study." said Woody Bart.
Nelson farted. "How's that for a ball of gas?"
Oscar laughed.
Bart groaned. "Try these rice cakes! They'll make your insides go bananas!"
"Enough of that creep! I'm going to Mars!" Oscar ranted.
The planet Mars.
Timmy Turner was choking from the lack of air. "Cosmo you idiot..."
Girls in astronaut suits were buying candy bars. Particularly Mars bars.
Oscar laughed.
Meanwhile on Jupiter. Boys were pulling faces and making ape noises. Bart was doing his Peptic Ulcer Man face.
...
We cut to Marge and Homer driving Bart somewhere. Homer won't listen to Marge or the GPS.
"In three-tenths of a mile, make a right turn." said the GPS.
"Homer, listen to the GPS." Marge nagged.
Homer sighed irked.
"I thought Homer threw the GPS in a fountain in Stealing First Base..." said Oscar.
"I uh bought a new one..." said Homer.
"Oz please, please get a life..." Bart groaned.
"Turn right Homer, watch the road! onto First Street, head east." said the GPS in a female voice.
Homer went the wrong way...
"Not this road, the other road!" Marge nagged.
"Make a U turn as soon as possible then head left..." said the GPS.
"Ladies, please! You can boss me around, just one at a time!" said Homer.
"On Main Street, turn right now..." said the GPS.
"Our Sunday drive is ruined!" Marge nagged.
Homer groaned.
"Hands at ten and two!" Marge nagged.
Oscar was baffled.
"That's how you hold the steering wheel..." said Bart.
"Nah... When I've got my license I'm steering the car with my butt..." said Oscar grinning.
"Right... that's real sensible Bud..." Bart sighed.
"Turn left, then turn right..." said the GPS.
"Pfffft...ladies..." Homer scoffed.
"What are you doing? It said turn left, not right." Marge yelled. Homer drove into a skate park. Kids flee his car.
"No matter, drop me off here Dad." said Bart grinned.
Homer went up a ramp and gained air. It did a 180 and came down again.
They all scream. "Aaaaaaagh!"
They freeze in mid air.
"Uh?" Homer was baffled.
A device with a screen on the dashboard read "Cartoon Physics active."
"D'oh! Stupid Cartoon Physics!" Homer yelled.
"Hey!" Quiffy yelled. He's a Toon.
Real world physics apply again and the car lands. Homer leaves the park.
"Switching to male voice... So you will obey!" said the GPS in a drill sergeant voice.
"Finally... a supervisor..." said Homer.
Marge grumbled.
...
A Cartoon world at the rear shutters of an antiques warehouse. The electronic shutter is shut tight.
A cartoon Woodpecker pecks the fuse box for the shutters.
"Eh-heh-heh-Heh! Heheheheh!" Woody Woodpecker laughs.
The woodpecker thief rolls his eyes.
"Buddy boy seriously..." Teddy, the teddy bear sighed.
Oscar chuckled.
The woodpecker disables the lock. The shutter opens permitting access. He gets zapped in the process.
(Woody Woodpecker laugh)
Small animals, ie mice, rats, lizards, a skunk etc are stealing furniture...
"Holy moly! The animals are stealing furniture!" Oscar screamed.
Teddy winced. "Right... so if Dark Teddy or a law breaking member of my species robbed a bank you'd freak out and find that weird..."
"Yes! Animals don't go on robberies! They eat! And sleep and uh... poop..." said Oscar.
Teddy rolls his eyes.
"Holy cannoli! They're wearing people clothes!" Oscar screamed. The cartoon animals have clothes on.
Teddy sighed. "Oz the only reason I am naked aside from the fur is because I'd over heat and faint if I wore a sweater like Kit Cloudkicker..."
"Hey guys! We've got company..." said a lizard.
The Rescue Rangers arrive to stop the strangely talking animals from stealing things.
"Stop thieves!" Chip yelled.
"Let's nail these numskulls!" said the woodpecker.
"I betcha the woodpecker has a claw hammer..." said Oscar to Teddy.
Teddy face palmed.
"This is as far as you miscreants go!" said Chip.
The animal thieves hurl crockery at the Rescue Rangers.
"Watch it Chip!" said Dale dodging a saucer.
Oscar winced.
"Ted what do you think people will say if they saw this..."
"I imagine they'd think they're hallucinating..." said Teddy.
...
Springfield Elementary, schoolyard at recess.
Bart is being dared to prank by the bullies again.
"So the closest thing I had to an adult male role model were the schoolyard bullies." said Wiody Allen Bart.
"Stop idolising a creep!" Oscar yelled.
Woody Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.
Anyway back to Jimbo and the gang.
"Hey, Simpson! I dare you to stick this caterpillar down that girl's dress." said Jimbo holding a squirming Woolly Bear Caterpillar. The fuzzy orange and black ones. He hands it to Bart.
There is a girl with pigtails wearing a blue dress in the background.
"Can't I just stick it in Skinner's sloppy joe?" Bart asked.
"It would actually be the only meat in said Joe." said Skinner walking past.
Oscar gave Lisa a smug look.
"Oz I am not gonna try the school's Sloppy Joes, just because Skinner said there's no meat in them..." Lisa sighed.
"Not everything can be solved with Skinner pranks, Bart." said Jimbo frowning.
"Yeah think outside the Skinner box..." said Dolph.
"But I like wearing my box..." Oscar wore a box on his head. "Hehehehe! Here boxy!"
Lisa snatched the box from him.
"Oh great... now I have to face reality again..." said Oscar in a sulk. He fumed sitting there annoyed.
Bart winced at him.
"Go on..." Jimbo shoved Bart. He went off towards the mystery girl with the caterpillar.
The bullies read a newspaper and laugh at something in it.
"Hey, look, that movie we were in got short-listed for an Oscar." said Jimbo.
"Awesome!" said Kearney.
"I'm an Oscar." Oscar Tamaki grinned.
"Go away..." Jimbo groaned.
...
Bart approaches the mystery girl with the caterpillar.
The bullies snicker.
Bart puts the caterpillar down her dress. The girl gasped.
The bullies laughed heartedly.
"Who's that stickin' a fuzzy-wuzzy down my back?" The girl yelled in a southern belle accent as she retrieved the caterpillar.
Bart gasped when he recognised the girl. "Mary Spuckler!" Yes it's his girlfriend Mary...
Kenny Rodgers sang Lady.
"He's that guy who sang with Dolly and then opened a fried chicken restaurant..." said Oscar.
Teddy sweat dropped and gawked at him.
"What? He did..." said Oscar.
While Kenny sang, We zoom in on Mary's buck teeth. They dance about in the wind.
"Ted can your buck teeth do that?" Oscar asked.
"Uh... no..." said Teddy.
"Will you two stop providing running commentary..." Bart groaned.
Bart catches up with Mary.
"I thought you left home to be a star." said Bart.
Hugo begins to speak.
"He did not mean she literally became a fiery ball of extremely hot gas that is extremely bright in the sky..." said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
"So Adele did not literally set fire to the rain?" Hugo asked scratching his head.
"No! Now stop butting in!" Bart yelled.
Mary shrugged her shoulders.
"Anyway I-" said Bart.
Hugo was staring at the woolly bear caterpillar crawling about. He grabbed it and stuffed the poor creature in his mouth and chewed it up.
Bart gave him a freaked out glance.
Plot 2
Any way without further interruptions...
"I thought you left home to be a star." said Bart.
"There's a lot of 13-year-olds out there with a voice and a dream." said Mary. "I only got work as a hand model."
She showed him a magazine. It had her hand on the front cover.
"Whoa. That's your hand?" Bart asked.
"Just the thumb." said Mary.
"Who's hand is that?" Oscar asked.
"I dunno..." said Mary.
"Oz, shoo..." Bart asked Oscar to stop bothering Mary.
Oscar shrugged and left them alone.
"Did ya miss me?" Mary asked Bart.
Bart gave a sheepish smile, then he saw the bullies watching.
"Of course I did! But I have a coolness reputation to uphold, can't be seeing going soft over a lady. So I'm gonna have to start being rude to you in a sec. It means nothing though." said Bart.
"Do your worst honey..." Mary whispered smiling.
"Get out of my face, cootie breath!" Bart yelled aloud for the bullies.
"I did miss you." Bart reassured Mary he was just giving the bullies an impression he was not going soft for a bit of skirt.
"You stink!" Bart yelled for the bullies.
"Come over Saturday." Bart whispered to Mary.
"I'm gonna have to push you in the mud now." Bart explained to Mary.
"Don't you pig-waller me, mister!" Mary yelled aloud to convince the bullies Bart was teasing her.
"Do what you must, darlin'." said Mary to Bart.
Bart grunted as he pushed her and she fell into a mucky mud puddle.
The bullies laughed.
Bart bowed to them.
"That sure makes up for my dad beating me last night." said Dolph.
Oscar gave a quizzical look with a raised eyebrow, concerned that Dolph was being beaten at home.
"And my dyslexia." said Kearney.
"Dyslexia? That might explain why your Mapple Memo diary thought you wrote Eat up Martha..." said Jimbo.
Kearney gave him an annoyed gaze.
...
Simpsons house early one morning.
The door bell rings.
"Leprechaun!" Oscar said like GIR in a delighted tone.
"Oz, Shaddup..." Bart groaned heading downstairs in his pyjamas wondering who was ringing the bell.
"Who could be ringing the bell at this hour..." Bart sighed.
"Anita Ward!" Oscar blurted out delighted.
Bart did a cut throat gesture at him.
Bart answers the door. Mary was there. "Mary?" He asked.
"Maryyyyyyy?" said Jackée Harry.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
Bart seethed glaring back at Oscar.
"Hey sweetums..." Mary kissed Bart.
A studio audience went "Ooooooooo!"
Bart blushed.
Then Dad caused embarrassment by walking about in his underwear...
He screamed when he realised there was a guest visiting. "Aaaaagh!"
"Thank God I wore the underwear with the hole on the side." He sighed.
"Dad put a gown on or something!" Bart yelled.
Homer hurried upstairs to put a gown on.
Bart shivered mortified.
"Mary... It's 8:00 in the morning." said Bart yawning.
"I'm a farm girl. I already milked the cows, " said Mary.
"They found that very moooooooving..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart made a zip it gesture.
"Overcame a bout of Prairie madness..." Mary continued.
"So did Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie..." said Oscar.
A girl screams in mad raving gibberish.
"Oh wait she's still mad..." said Oscar.
"Oz seriousy!" Bart yelled, seriously pissed off.
"And I made you some sausages and biscuits." Mary poured gravy on some biscuits.
"You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUIIIIIIITS!" Oscar went completely nuts with his GIR impressions. He acts like GIR sometimes...
Bart throttled him. "Aaaaack! Ecccccck..."
Mary felt uncomfortable witnessing this.
...
Later. Bart invites Mary in.
"Oz are you okay?" Lisa was checking up on Oscar.
"Your brother choked the life outta me! What do you think?" Oscar rasped trying to breath normally.
"You were acting like a clown..." said Bart.
Mary gave Bart a concerned look.
"Uh relax babe, I don't usually lose my temper!" Bart said with a sheepish grin.
"Just when I want to have a laugh..." said Oscar scowling at Bart.
"Come on, eat your breakfast dahlin'..." said Mary kissing Bart on the cheek.
Marge waited for a kiss from Homer. He drank her coffee...
Marge grumbled.
Bart stared lovingly into Mary's eyes. She smiled and gazed back.
"Kiss him..." Oscar rasped.
"You get the picture. Perfect girl." said Woody Allen Bart. (imitating Woody Allen): "So like a schmuck, I treat her like day-old matzo."
"Oy vey..." Hugo chuckled.
Bart sighed exasperated.
"Hugo, not funny. Bart, stop dressing like that creep!" Oscar arrives to berate Bart.
"Then MJ was a creep too..." said Bart.
"NO HE WAS NOT!" Oscar snapped.
Bart sighed.
Anyway how did he act like a schmuck? By boring Mary by playing on his video games all day...
Bart is shooting zombies in a video game he is playing on the living room TV.
Mary yawned bored.
He fires a beam gun that melts people into yellow goop with red spots.
Mary clutched her mouth retching.
Some doctors arrive on screen.
"Doctors Without Boarders? You are now doctors without faces..." Bart tapped the R trigger on his control pad and his character hurled angry chimps at the doctors. The chimps mauled the doctors.
"Bart that is not funny..." Lisa seethed.
Bart was tapping buttons as his onscreen character was shooting zombies.
"Bart, when are we gonna do girl things, like catch a frog or leg wrestle?" Mary sighed.
"Or snog..." said Oscar.
"Okay Limey breath, first up it is French kiss across the Atlantic and secondly kids don't kiss for that long..." said Bart.
"Bart quit ignoring your girlfriend!" Lisa nagged.
...
The kitchen. Marge is baking.
"Okay. All we need is a dot of salt, a dab of sugar, and a spritz of ginger." said Marge.
Hugo is watching. He winced wondering why Mom was guessing measurements.
"Uh... Are those real measurements? How do you keep track without a recipe?" Hugo asked.
"Pie baking is more art than science." said Marge.
"I like science though..." Hugo whined.
"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy cheered delighted.
Hugo face palmed.
Marge sighed while mixing the dough.
"Is this a special occasion or did you wake up this morning deciding you wanted to bake a pie Mom..." Hugo sighed.
"I like pie..." Teddy rasped.
"Well.. Bart bringing round his girlfriend is a special occasion..." said Mom.
"Yeah I don't think Mary's staying... Bart's more fascinated in shooting zombies..." said Oscar.
"Ooooooh! Bart get off of that thing and spend time with your little lady!" Marge nagged.
Bart sighed as he blasted zombies on screen.
"Anyway... the filling..." Marge pondered.
"How about blueberry?" Oscar suggested.
"I love blueberry pie! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!" Teddy bounced up and down on his paws.
Hugo face palmed.
"Yes blue! Like my hair! Great idea Pumpkin!" said Marge mixing.
"Awww... I want pumpkin pie too..." Teddy whined.
Oscar sighed exasperated with Teddy.
Bart was still playing video games...
"Mary, could I steal Bart for a minute?" Lisa could tell he was neglecting his lady.
"Ask his girlfriend, the noisy, flashy box thingajig..." Mary sighed with a yawn.
"Mary that's a video game... Do you not know what a video game is...?" Cousin Hank asked.
"Oh, Mary, you know you're the coolest person I've ever hung out with." said Bart.
Lisa seethed and dragged Bart from his game.
"Oof!"
"Listen here brother! I don't know what your future holds but Mary will NOT be in it if you treat her so badly!"
Bart is playing a Gameboy.
"Stop staring at screens all day!" Lisa yelled.
...
Rescue Rangers universe.
The animal thieves are hurling crockery at the Rescue rangers.
"Right, that'll be enough of that." said Monterey Jack.
A mouse hurled a saucer.
"A fkying saucer!" Dale gasped.
Chip frowned and jumped back as a saucer shattered upon the ground where he was standing.
Monterey got caught under a tea cup.
"Get this blinkin' thing off!" Monterey Jack yelled.
Chip and Dale pull the cup off of him.
"Crikey!" said Monterey Jack. He's Australian...
Oscar and Teddy are still watching this strange spectacle.
"Such an awful waste of crockery! I could be having sandwiches and high tea with that tea set!" Oscar whined.
Teddy winced.
"By Jove! This is terrible!" said Oscar.
"We get it... You're British... Buddy boy..." said Teddy.
"Marge sure put a lot of effort into baking that pie." said Oscar.
"That's because she knows I like pie!" Teddy said delighted.
Oscar face palmed.
"I like pie! I like pie! I like pie!" Teddy repeated rapidly.
"Ted... be cool..." Oscar groaned.
"You'll never take us alive!" said the woodpecker thief.
"Uh this is a Disney cartoon... We will as no one is going to the big golden mouse hole in the sky..." said Gadget.
A lizard winced. He hurled a saucer.
"Look we have you cornered! Now come quietly!" said Chip.
"Never! Muscles deal with them!" said the woodpecker.
A big fat mouse arrived.
"Streuth! He's even bigger than me!" said Monterey Jack.
Back at the Simpsons. "Why is There Chip N Dale..." Bart sighed.
"Because they also have an episode called Love is a many Splintered thing..." said Oscar.
Bart gawked bemused and embarrassed.
"Yeah that mouse has been eating way too much cheese..." said Dale.
"Cheeeeese..." Monterey Jack had one of his cheese obsessions again.
Chip face palmed.
Plot 3
Simpsons house. Bart is going over to Mary's.
"And no video games!" Marge confiscated a Gameboy from him. "You should be paying attention to Mary! You almost married her!"
"Yeah and who stopped the wedding..." Bart frowned.
"Ugh.. Just enjoy yourself... but don't ignore Mary. She's more important to you tonight! Not your games console!" said Marge.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, playing Space Invaders did not help me score with your mother, boy..." said Homer.
"You were playing Space Invaders and eating nachos at Moe's on a night we were dating..." Marge nagged.
"Guys... Video games are a lot more sophisticated now than Space Invaders..." Bart sighed.
"Video games won't be part of your evening out tonight! Pay attention to Mary!" Lisa nagged.
Bart sighed. "Well pick me up as we agreed... Laters..." He went out. I'm assuming his folks dropped him off at Mary's.
The Spuckler shack. Banjos twang, because of them darn diggity yokels...
"Yea the Spucklers are yokels..." Bart sighed.
"Also there were kazoos buzzing... because Banjo Kazooie..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart slugged him in the gut. "Oof!"
"Duh... what brings you smart City folk round here... Dubya Spuckler came out pointing a gun at Bart.
"He's my boyfriend and he's having dinner tonight with us Dubya..." said Mary pushing his Shotgun down.
Bart winced.
"Mom's busy with the mule. It's taking a nap. Well, we think it is napping." said Mary.
"Tell her to try not to get kicked in the face again..." said Oscar.
Bart did a zip it gesture at him.
"I will..." Mary rolled her eyes.
Mary shows him around the Spuckler farm. Bart was thinking about shooting pixelated aliens.
"Now are you sure you wouldn't rather be blasting space bugs o your noisy box..." said Mary.
"No you have my undivided attention Mary." said Bart.
Mary smiled at him.
"Kallae Kistnaeeeee..." Oscar rasped.
...
Spuckler hay barn. Mary and Bart went to get some alone time for some loving...
"Kiss her..." Oscar rasped.
Bart rolled his eyes. He smooches Mary. She willingly and lovingly embraces him in return.
"Uh sis... When you have blink, I need my diaper changed..." said International Harvester Spuckler. The Spuckler kid wearing Mickey Mouse Ears and feety pyjamas.
Bart winced.
Hank seethed. "He's not gonna still be wearing diapers!"
"The feety pyjamas say he definitely wears diapers still..." said Oscar.
Hank seethed.
International Harvester was picking his nose.
Bart made a look of disgust.
Mary sighed.
"I'll change him..." said Oscar's teddy bear thing, Teddy.
"Uh..." Bart frowned.
Teddy starts sniffing International Harvester with his big wet shiny nose. Int blushed and backed away.
"Oz seriously?!" Bart yelled.
"Yeah seriously, Freak!" Hank yelled.
Oscar snapped his fingers. Hank ignited in a burst of flames as he was roasted to death.
Bart frowned at Oscar.
Oscar sighed bored.
"Oz why did you invite yourself..." Bart sighed.
"I dunno... Your girlfriend's siblings think it's socially acceptable to eat grass..." said Oscar.
"Ralph thinks it's socially acceptable to eat grass... The difference is he doesn't have a totally hot sister I'm currently dating..." said Bart.
Mary giggled.
Teddy was still sniffing International Harvester Spuckler with his big wet shiny black nose...
Bart frowned.
Ted enough of the sniffing..." Oscar sighed.
...
It was soon dinner time.
Brandine rings a bell.
"Dinner time!"
Yokel music plays as all the kids head inside.
Fish for arms Spuckler runs in with his arms inside a trout, one devouring each arm.
"That's just Incest Spuckler with his arms inside fish..." Bart sighed.
Then twins bursted out of a scarecrow and ran inside.
"Oh god! They killed Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz!" Oscar screamed.
Bart face palmed.
And then Brandine gave birth to a baby wearing a napkin and holding a knife and fork.
Oscar gawked slack jawed.
They have dinner.
"Now, let's enjoy the granola bars that city fella gave us in exchange for lettin' him go." said Brandine serving granola bars for dinner...
Bart winced.
"That'll teach him to try to preserve our folk singing for posterity." said Cletus.
They start scatting and ham-boning.
The family is being recorded by tech geeks with recording gear and microphones.
"Just wait till my dad hears this at 3:00 a.m. on NPR." said a tech geek. "It'll prove I'm not wasting my life."
"You realize you just ruined the recording." said another sound tech.
The first frowned at him.
Inside the scatting continues.
"Lotta musical talent in your family." said Bart.
"True. I can play a blade of grass." said Mary. She plays Flight of the Bumblebee on her blade of grass.
Teddy winced, Oscar shrugged.
"Incest plays an empty jug." said Mary.
Incest blew over the top of a moonshine jug. It made a tune.
...
Next course was raccoon roadkill.
"Eat up kids." said Brandine.
Bart silently retched.
Mary shrugged.
Oscar was horrified.
"I call dibs on the tail!" said Incest.
Oscar then annoyed Mary with unnecessary questions. "Why did your family shoot James Caan..."
Bart face palmed.
"Uh can I be excused..." said Mary.
Brandine gave her permission to leave. "That's odd! Mary usually loves eating raccoon!"
Mary's room. Bart can hear Cletus and Brandine scatting again.
"A lot of musical talent in this house. But no one blows on a blade of grass like you." said Bart.
"You just said that earlier..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
(playing "Flight of the Bumblebee") Mary plays the bee tune.
"Eight more payments and I own this." said Mary.
Oscar winced. "Mary you don't have to pay for a blade of grass... they're free..."
Bar sighed vexed with him having an answer for everything.
"And Flight of the Bumblebee is public domain..." said Oscar.
Mary had something on her mind after witnessing Bart being glued to a video game when she visited.
"But are you sure there ain't no video game you'd rather be playin'?" She sighed.
"All eyes on you, baby." said Bart giving her the bedroom eyes look.
"Just like Argus... the thousand-eyed giant of Greek mythology..." said Oscar.
Bart punched him in the gut. "Oof!"
"Well, tell your eye-ears to watch-listen to this!" said Mary fetching her banjo.
Oscar winced baffled. "Eye-ears?!"
Bart hushed him.
Mary strummed her banjo.
...
Mary sings a song for Bart.
"I used to think I wanted to roam
But there ain't not never no place
None better than home"
"Count the negatives, it all works out." said Mary. Ie they cancel each other out in Bart's favour. Ie she wants to be back home to see Bart.
Bart counts his fingers and is delighted.
"They say that home is where the heart is
But for me it's where the Bart is..." Mary finishes her song.
"That was beautiful..." said Bart.
"Awwww thanks hon..." Mary kisses him. Bart blushed.
"Now what are you doing?" Mary frowned at Oscar.
He's juggling piglets...
Bart glares at Oscar. Oscar drops the the piglets.
"Oz a little privacy..." Bart said sharply.
Oscar left the room.
"That kid is a few sandwiches short of a picnic..." Mary sighed.
"Uh huh." said Bart.
Mary wasn't the only southern belle serenading her sweet heart tonight.
Moo Moo farm, Hyrule.
Malon was singing Epona's song.
Young Link listened politely with a smile on his face and bobbing his head to the tune.
"Whatever that sound is... that is not singing..." Oscar sighed frowning.
Link frowned at him.
Bark at Mary's bedroom. Bart was distracted by a fly.
"Bart!" Mary frowned.
"Uh?"
"Gosh darn it Bart! I wrote a song for you!" said Mary.
"Sorry! A fly distracted me!" said Bart.
"Bart this is important. I'm playing in a talent competition..." said Mary.
"You'll beat that competition! Because you're a star!" said Bart.
"Awwwww! Thanks hon!" Mary kissed him again.
...
Bart explained just how much of a star Mary is to him.
"Like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk."
"How dare you! The Hulk is a great Hulk movie!" Oscar yelled.
"GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Bart yelled at Oscar. Oscar left before Bart could throttle him.
Bart sighed.
"You know what? Every now and then you say the perfect thing." Mary stroked Bart's hair.
Bart blushed.
Oscar found Teddy, his weird cartoon teddy bear thing was sniffing International Harvester Spuckler again.
"Get this thing away from me!" Int whined.
Oscar sighed and beckoned his pet away from Int.