You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now, I wish you were here
Busy and Dizzy
As soon as he had hung up the phone with Sanada, he had rushed out of the door. That afternoon he had to study for an anatomy test and he didn't want any distractions; he was at the second year of his high school attached to the Medical School, but when he had noticed two missed calls from Sanada, he had to call him back.
Jun was running as fast as he could through the streets of the quiet neighbourhood. It was a hot day: summer was hitting hard the city of Tokyo that year. Cicadas were singing as loud as they could and their singing was almost deafening.
The boy finally spotted the small independent house at the corner of the street: he slowed down when he noticed that Sanada and their friend Sayaka were exiting the house in that very moment. They stopped with surprise as they saw him.
"Captain!" Sanada greeted him, surprised.
"Can't believe you've come" Sayaka gave him a sideway look full of scorn; she had never liked him much and Jun had never understood why.
"Why wouldn't I?" Jun replied as he frowned at her.
"Well, thought you'd be too busy studying to show up".
"Saya-chan, stop it already" Sanada scowled back at her. "Sorry Captain, she's been nervous all day."
"Why wouldn't I be?!" Sayaka snapped. "She basically fell in front of my eyes… I was…" her lip trembled.
"Fell? Fell where?!" Jun asked them as Sanada flinched. "You didn't talk about falling."
"She fell from the stairs! Didn't you tell him, Shinji-kun?!"
"I preferred not to worry him much… but nothing happened! Sayaka managed to grab her by her wrist and I was right at the end of the staircase, so I managed to catch Yayoi before she fell to the ground!"
Jun goggled at him in disbelief as he was trying to process all the story they were telling him.
Yayoi fainted at school, that's what they told him on the phone. And now, he found out that she fell from the stairs. Great timing they were there with her, otherwise it could have been bad.
"Where's Yayoi now?" he asked him with a thin voice.
"She's inside. After the fall, we brought her to the infirmary even though she kept repeating she was ok, but we decided to take her home to check she was really fine. I mean, you know her" Sayaka sighed "Yayoi is terribly worn out by the latest weeks. Her parents are travelling abroad, her brother is studying in Kyoto, she's home alone. She's been straining herself to help everybody without taking care of herself first. She's waking up early every day just to follow your trainings, Mr Captain, because otherwise you won't have any time left to see her!"
Jun flinched slightly at hearing those words. It was true that he had been meeting with Yayoi every morning for the last weeks; studying in his high school was a tough task and the mid-term tests were approaching; the only free moments he had to see her was during his morning trainings. Yayoi would follow him with her bicycle as she was used to and she would tell him everything about her life at Musashi High School, which he had decided to abandon to follow his dream of becoming a doctor. He had noticed that her pace was a bit… slower the previous days, but he thought he must have been because of the heat. He felt the biggest idiot in the planet. He wasn't seeing his girlfriend because he was too worried studying for his career as a doctor and he didn't notice that she wasn't feeling well. Not a good starting point.
"Hey, it's not the Captain's fault!" Sanada protested as he noticed Jun gloomy expression. "It's just that Yayoi has taken too much stuff on her shoulders. For example, couldn't you ask anyone else to help you with your stupid theatre club?!"
Sayaka gaped at him, outraged. "Excuse me, what?! Shall we talk about you asking her to be the manager of your stupid football team?!"
"What? I thought she quitted!" Jun exclaimed as he gave Sanada a puzzled look.
Sanada scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Well, she did when we finished middle school and you left, but… you know, when we entered Musashi High School last year, there already was a manager, but she was attending her last year… she left school last April, so we needed a replacement. We found a couple of girls but they have literally zero experience, so we asked Yayoi if she could help us for a while until the new managers were independent…"
"See? She comes to your training practically every day while she helps us with the theatre just a couple of times a week! So, who's the one who's wearing her out, mpf?!"
Jun gave a quick look at the window of her bedroom: was she listening to all the ruckus happening in front of her house?
His mind played an imaginary scene of Yayoi fainting on the stairs and falling down in front of everyone: what luck that Sanada was there to save her. She could have hurt herself very badly.
He turned towards his bickering friends: Yayoi hadn't told him anything about those extra commitments, but she did tell him about those two going out together. Were they the kind of bickering couple?
"Erm… guys…" he tried to interrupt them, but they didn't seem to be listening to him.
"Plus! You're forcing her to help you with the team after what happened last winter with Ayasaki!" Sayaka burst out. Her face was becoming flushed with anger and her eyes were teary.
Sanada opened his eyes wide and turned towards the Captain with a guilty expression.
Jun sighed. "Let's stop here for today, guys. Where's she? I just want to see her."
"I left her in her room. She said she was sleepy so I guess she's just taking a nap…" Sayaka replied, still teary-eyed.
"Okay, I'll stay here with her from now on. You two just go home. I'll update you later…" Jun raised a hand to say bye – literally, to send them away. They were making a big noise in front of her house and he didn't want any neighbour to pop out suddenly. Plus, he just wanted to be with her to check on her personally. He was deeply worried, especially after hearing those two talking about her. Talking about her life… a life of which he knew very little lately, apparently.
Sayaka was on the verge of tears and said goodbye very quickly before walking off. Sanada was ready to run after her, but Jun grabbed him by the arm, holding him back.
"What happened with Ayasaki last winter?" Jun asked him, frowning at his friend with a low and serious voice.
Sanada flinched and lowered his gaze. "I cannot tell you. I promised Yayoi. You can ask her, if you want. I'm sorry, Captain. But you don't have to worry about it, really, it's all been settled…"
Jun sighed deeply with frustration and let go of his arm. "Okay, fine… I'll talk to her. Seems like she hasn't been very talkative lately."
"Don't be mad. She's just worried for you. She wants you to fully recover and to succeed in your studies so I guess she doesn't want to burden you excessively…"
"Yes, and you can see what happened" Jun almost growl as he turned his back and walked towards the entrance.
"It's rare to see the Captain so nervous…" Sanada whispered to himself, hoping not to have created a critical situation for Yayoi.
Jun looked around Yayoi's house quickly: it was tidy and perfectly clean. She must have been taking care of the house as well while her parents were away. He sighed and walked upstairs, careful not to make any noise. The door to her bedroom was half open and he peeked inside, seeing Yayoi lying asleep on her bed. The sunlight was filtering through the half-closed shutters of the window, caressing her copper hair and her pale skin. He noticed light dark circles around her eyes: how long had she been having them? How much had she exerted herself to please everyone, including himself?
He had been praised as a student, as a football player, as assistant coach, as captain. But he had to admit to himself that he had been an awful boyfriend for Yayoi. He had been so self-centred lately that he hadn't been able to notice how weak and stressed his girlfriend was. But she had always been there for him, cheerful and supportive, while she was probably crumbling to pieces.
He sat by her side on the bed, moving a lock of hair away from her sleeping face. It was the first time he had to take care of her, usually it had always been the contrary. It had been ages since she had started taking care of him. Almost six years had passed since their meeting and for all that time, she had been the most faithful and supportive partner he could've asked for.
Yayoi suddenly grumbled in her sleep and slightly moved her head to side, lowering her arm in the motion. Jun smirked slightly: was she dreaming, perhaps? He noticed that a strap of her tank top had fallen along her arm, leaving her naked shoulder exposed. He suddenly gulped, realising that she was wearing a dishevelled pink tank top with nothing else on and a pair of very short shorts, which left exposed her slender legs.
Jun coughed to himself a little, trying to regain his composure, but he couldn't help thinking whether Sanada had seen her like that. Not that it was a problem, really, just… he preferred his friend wouldn't have. Jun glanced at her again. Now that her hair was scattered all over her pillow, he realised that she had a pretty neck: so slender, thin, probably soft… he raised his hand involuntarily, letting a finger trace the line of her soft jaw, following her jugular towards her sternum, and then down again… he stopped immediately, raising his hand away and feeling a rush of heat hitting his face. What the hell was he doing?!
He got up immediately and paced around her room nervously. His face was on fire and his heart was pounding very fast, and this time not because of his sickness…
He looked around nervously, trying to calm himself down, and noticed a few books that he had gifted her on her shelves. A portrait with a photo of them together stood on her desk. Above it, she had a kind of a small cork board hanging on the wall: there she had pinned several photos, memories, tickets, a small clover; there were other photos of them together, some of them with Tsubasa and Sanae, Matsuyama and Yoshiko, the other members of the Japanese team, their friends from school, some with her family, one with her brother. He smiled to himself: it was her whole life hanging on the wall and there was plenty of him in it. Did he deserve such an honour, though? After treating her the way he had lately?
"Jun?"
Suddenly, Yayoi called him with a sleepy, low voice.
"Good afternoon, sleeping beauty" he smiled back at her as he saw her sitting up.
She rubbed her eyes and he noticed her hair was a little dishevelled. He also noticed that her other strap had fallen off the other shoulder, leaving her shoulders and breastbone completely exposed.
"What…?" Yayoi asked confusedly as she looked at him with a puzzled look.
"Do you remember what happened at school?" Jun asked her as he sat by her side again. She looked kinda funny with that half asleep look on her face. And kinda sexy with her shoulders naked.
"Mh… oh yeah… right… now I do, but… why are you here?"
"I took over from Sayaka-san and Sanada-kun" he smiled softly as he took her hand in his.
"You didn't have to… I'm fine, really" she replied as she looked at him furtively. Her cheeks were a little flushed. Suddenly, she seemed to realise that her tank top was barely on and she immediately adjusted her straps with a quick move as her cheeks reddened even more.
"You didn't seem to be fine today, though" Jun changed tone and he gave her an accusing frown.
"I just tripped on the stairs, Jun, you know how clumsy I am!" she forced a smile on her face, but Jun's frown only deepened.
"You're not clumsy at all, Yayoi…" he sighed with disbelief "…honestly, you've spent all these years begging me to take care of myself and now you're allowed to overexert yourself? Really?"
Yayoi bit her lower lip as she moved her eyes away, slightly pouting. "I might have… overdone it a little bit, yes. I had been feeling a bit tired lately. But I couldn't imagine that I could faint from fatigue!"
"Well, now you know" Jun muttered as he gave her a scolding look.
"Is the reprimand over?" Yayoi smiled her best sly smile.
"Might be, for now" his frown melted in a soft sigh as his hand went to caress her head. "How are you feeling now? Honestly?"
"Mhh… Mr. doctor, I have to say my head hurts a little as well as my ankle which I might have twisted while falling, but, overall, I'm feeling fine."
"Headache and a twisted ankle are not fine to me" he sighed as he turned to give a look at her ankle. Not before quickly checking the naked length of her legs. "It's the left one, right? Looks a little swollen. I'll get some ice to put on."
"Thank you doctor, pretty please!" she trilled jokingly.
As Jun raised from her bed, she suddenly grabbed his hand, taking him back.
"Thank you for coming, Jun" she smiled sweetly at him.
Jun felt a stinging pain in his guts and, without thinking, immediately bent downwards, kissing her sweetly on the lips. He felt Yayoi's body froze in place, probably taken aback. They had been together for almost two years now, but he wasn't the warm type of guy who showered her with cuddles. Maybe he should have. Her lips were a bit dry, but still soft and sweet.
"I'll be back in a minute" he whispered as he swiftly moved away towards the door.
"Mh-mh" Yayoi replied, the usual murmur she would give when she was embarrassed.
"Holy… shit"
Everyone in the group turned towards Yamazaki. Jun couldn't hide a thin smile: his classmate Yamazaki was a real jester, it was hard to believe he was crazy smart. Even smarter than him, probably.
Yamazaki was holding the photo that Jun and Yayoi had taken together the previous winter. The most recent one they had together, really. Yamazaki had asked Jun to show him a photo of his girlfriend, since he was shocked that Jun kept on turning down the love declarations of Naomi Hisegawa, apparently the most beautiful and intelligent girl of the whole school and the daughter of a very famous couple of surgeons.
"I mean… I can't believe you, mate. She's crazy hot. Like… crazy hot!" Yamazaki showed the photo to their other classmate. "Now I get why you keep turning down Hisegawa's declarations!"
"What do you want, you idiot?!" Hisegawa, who was listening from the other side of the classroom, walked towards them with an angered expression. She took the photo from Yamazaki's hand and gave it a close look.
"Well, she's pretty, nothing more" she shrugged as she sneered "She doesn't look like a genius, though"
"Maybe not, but she's very humble, that's one of the things I like about her" Jun roasted her with a nonchalant smile.
Hisegawa snapped and threw the photo back on his desk as Yamazaki burst out laughing; they watched her storm off without saying anything else.
"Well, Misugi-kun… you might like her for her humility, but… you lucky bastard… look at that smile… and those legs… woah, and those boobs too!"
"Yamazaki!"
Jun frowned as he closed the freezer, taking out some ice and wrapping it in a cloth. Why did that memory come back to his mind? Why now?
He had been with Yayoi for six years now and they had been to the seaside three or four times together… but he had never noticed those things. Truth be told, she had been growing up beautifully during the last years… he truly was a 'lucky bastard', in the end. He smirked softly to himself and shook his head slightly, thinking that Yayoi's outfit had had a very bad effect on him that day; he put the ice wrap on his neck as he went back upstairs. He needed to cool down a bit before coming back to that room.
When he got back, Yayoi was sitting on her bed, slowly massaging the back of her neck with her hand. He sat by her side and silently put the ice wrap on her ankle and then moved forwards to put a hand on her shoulder.
"Does it hurt?" he asked her with a worried expression.
"No, I'm just a bit sore… I guess all this stress has really worn me out" she smiled sheepishly at him.
He slowly put some pressure with his fingers on her shoulder, moving towards the back of her neck. Yayoi closed her eyes, enjoying the little massage he was giving her. She let out a small moan of approval which made a shiver run down his spine. Jun felt a strange tension in the air, some strong vibes; also, the temperature seemed to be rising. His arm tensed and his hand stopped.
"It's hot in here, isn't it?" he said suddenly as he moved his hand away from her hot skin, gulping.
Yayoi opened her eyes slowly with a disappointed expression as if she was already missing that touch.
"We can turn on the air conditioner"
"Yes, we really should" he nodded as he got up nervously and moved towards the remote control of the conditioner.
"Jun, are you upset with me?" Yayoi asked suddenly, a bit worried.
"No, why should I?" he replied without looking at her, his attention on the control switches. "I mean, I've fainted dozens of times on the field and you've always been there by my side without complaining. I won't get upset about this" he sighed as the device turned on, a fresh breeze finally hitting his heated body.
"But I'm distracting you from your studies…" she muttered with an uncertain voice, moving her eyes away.
"I do have a lot to study, it's true, but that doesn't mean you have to freeze me out of your life" Jun crossed his arms and gave her a disappointed look.
Yayoi gaped at him almost in disbelief. "I… I haven't frozen you out!"
"Oh, really? Well, Sanada told me a whole different story. What about the football club and the theatre activities?"
Yayoi rolled her eyes. "They're just very temporary activities… nothing worth worrying! Yes, I might have overdone things a bit, but… I didn't think they were important things. I mean, they also kept me occupied while you were studying so hard every day for your exams…"
"I'm sorry I couldn't find the time to hang out with you…"
"I'm not complaining, Jun, really. I know your high school is very demanding and challenging. I'm happy to see you give all you've got for your studies. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, but… I missed you anyway. So, I kept myself busy to avoid missing you even more."
Jun had to press his nails into the flesh of his forearm to resist the urge he had to rush on the bed to her. To do what, he had no idea. But he felt like he couldn't really trust himself in that moment. He just felt… restless. Needing. Hot. Confused. He had to stay there until the cold air conditioner didn't calm his spirits a little.
"But honestly Jun, it's not like I lied to you about anything!" Yayoi added again. "I've just… omitted minor things, that's all."
"Minor things like Ayasaki?" he commented suddenly with a veil of resentment. Feeling that he felt growing in his chest as he noticed her eyes widening and her mouth agape, totally taken aback by his remark. So something did happen.
"How… who…"
"Sayaka-san said something before leaving about the fact that you've been very stressed by something that happened with him last winter. Sanada didn't tell me anything, though. Didn't want to. Because he promised. To you."
Yayoi lowered her gaze and sat silently for a few moments, clearly thinking about what to say.
"I wasn't doing any exams last winter, I think" Jun remarked sarcastically.
"I didn't want you to worry about something stupid" Yayoi replied with a bit of irritation, which made him immediately wary.
"I don't know why you keep treating me like an idiot who can't handle problems and studying at the same time. I want to know. Now."
"Okay, fine" Yayoi sighed with exhaustion as she rolled her eyes, before frowning back at him "Do you remember when I had that strange bruise over my eyebrow? Last winter?"
Jun stood silent for a moment. "Yeah, you were desperate to hide it with make-up for our Christmas photo. That one?"
"Yes, that one."
"I thought you'd hit a wall"
"I did hit a wall… but with my back. Not my face. That was sort of a lie, now that I think about it… I'm sorry" Yayoi sighed as she closed her eyes, throwing her head back. "I… he… Ayasaki-kun… he's had a crush on me ever since I've started Musashi High School." Jun felt his body freezing, but he forced himself to act as nonchalantly as he could. He always had a bad feeling about that Ayasaki. He has never liked him much. He just nodded to her to go on. "Well, I've always turned his declarations down, he obviously knew I was your girlfriend. But one day he had been a bit too persistent. He came to class when he knew I was there for my cleaning schedule and we started arguing about it again. He suddenly… pushed me… against the wall and…"
"And what?!"
"And he tried to kiss me."
"Oh."
"But he didn't, because I reacted and… I gave him a head butt on the face. A very hard head butt. He got a bleeding nose and I got my victory bruise."
"I'm happy about your victory bruise and his bleeding nose, but don't you think I should have been told about it?!" he snapped. He totally snapped. The idea of that jerk putting his hands on Yayoi, using force on her… he felt as if his blood was turning to fire. He had to lower the temperature of the air conditioner of another degree.
"Sanada-kun spoke to him to make things clear and he has stopped harassing me ever since…"
"Sanada-kun did?" Jun looked at her in disbelief. "Don't you think that I should have been the one to speak to him?"
"Jun, there was no need for that… I literally almost broke his nose! Sanada-kun just told him off as the Captain of the team, nothing more, nothing less… there was no need for…"
"Yeah, right. There was no need for me to know anything about you. Next time something happens to you, just call Captain Sanada. I'm sure he'll fix everything!"
"Jun, wh— are you jealous?!"
"I— I'm not jealous, I'm just... really pissed off right now. I'm getting you something to drink downstairs."
"Jun!"
"I need a moment, okay?"
It wasn't like him, really. Reacting in that immature and somewhat childish way. Sanada-kun had just been kind, taking care of Yayoi while he wasn't at school with them anymore. He was acting like the Captain of his team. It wasn't his fault.
Jun had made his choices. He had decided to attend a different school. He had decided to follow his route of a hard rehabilitation while walking the road to become a doctor. Yayoi had accepted to stay by his side besides all the worries and the difficult moments they might have encountered. A yet he was there having a tantrum.
And that Ayasaki… he couldn't stop thinking about his unbearable smirk. Shitty braggart. Luckily for him, he wasn't in his team during middle school, he had only joined the football team during high school and he had just met him a few times when he went to watch Musashi's football matches. But he had never liked that Ayasaki. And now, it was pure hate, as far as he was concerned.
Jun took a deep breath before coming back inside the room with a bottle of tea, but he immediately he bumped into Yayoi.
"What are you doing up?" he protested as he grabbed her by her shoulders.
"I was coming down for you…" Yayoi looked at him with those eyes. Her doe eyes she would use when she was sorry for something. When she had something she wanted to be forgiven for.
She immediately embraced him, burying her face against his chest.
Oh, that girl. She knew how to soften him.
Jun hugged her back and caressed her spine. He buried his face in her copper hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
"It's fine. I'm sorry I've reacted in that way. I got a bit nervous."
"No, I'm sorry, Jun. I should have told you about Ayasaki. It's just… that I… I wanted not to think about it anymore."
"Were you scared?"
"Yes, I was. And I still don't like being around him."
"Seems like we have to remind him that you're my girlfriend."
"He seems to have a very short memory. I've told him one hundred times, at least."
"I'll make sure he remembers it once and for all" he murmured against her hair. "Let's sit" Jun said as he took her in his arms and accompanied her to the bed, her ankle still swollen. "You've got goosebumps" he observed, as well as noticing her nipples peeking from under the fabric of her top.
"It's because of the cold of the air conditioner" Yayoi stated as she moved her eyes away from him, her cheeks a bit red.
Jun bit his lower lip and took the remote control, adjusting the temperature of the air conditioner, even if it was still too hot for him. And he knew he was the problem: he felt his chest on fire.
He turned to her once again, but he forgot what he was about to say. Something about her ankle but… her hair was let down behind her ears, leaving her pale neck well exposed. It was a rush through the body. Jun bent forward, pushing her against his chest, and burying his lips in the flesh of her neck as he started biting and sucking at it keenly.
"Jun" she moaned against his ear as she held onto him, grasping his t-shirt tightly, clinging desperately to him.
As his lips moved away, Jun immediately gave a good look at the red mark he had left on her skin.
"This should work as a reminder for now" he whispered and Yayoi immediately moved her hand to her neck, her face deeply flushed.
"Wh—" she looked at him with a wondering gaze and he bent towards her once again, this time taking her lips on his.
He felt ravenous. Yayoi might have been cold, but he was hot. He was burning inside.
She will stop me if it's too much.
As their lips touched, he let his hand slide along her back, slowly reaching her side. There he felt her naked skin under his fingertips, as her tank top had raised a bit. His fingers rested there, digging in her slim flesh, feeling the line of her ribs under his touch.
Jun felt Yayoi relaxing in his arms; soon, she let her arms close around his neck in a firm grasp, as her tongue met his, deepening that kiss in a way that was both new and natural to them. New and dangerous. But he wanted more, more, more. That wasn't enough. He couldn't understand that sudden feeling, but he couldn't help but follow it. He let his hands trace the hem of her top, daring to slide a finger underneath it, raising the fabric little by little; soon, her tummy was all exposed to his touch as she was completely glued against his body. He realised that he didn't want her to stay too close to him, because he didn't want her to feel the hard reaction he was having in that moment and that he couldn't really control. But as Jun tried to press her body away from his, Yayoi held him back in her arms and, with a heavy tug, she laid down on the bed, bringing him down with her. He wanted to say something, but she just kept on kissing him hectically. And he just wanted to kiss her back, deep, breathlessly. But she never broke the kiss. Even when he pressed down on her. Even when she felt his hardened crotch pressing against her body. Even when he let his hand slide under what was left of her tank top.
She will stop me if it's too much. I'm sure she will.
But she didn't.
Jun opened his eyes and looked at the blue sky above him. Cicadas were screaming in the school yard of the Musashi High School.
He had been repeating in his mind what had happened the day before with Yayoi and was tasting everything again: every moment, every emotion, the taste of her lips, the feeling of their skins together, his hands lost in her hair, her slender fingers caressing the scar on his naked chest…
Jun had left her house to reach the football field of Musashi High School so that he could speak with Sanada; he wanted to update him personally about what the doctor had told them and about the few days Yayoi was forced to take off school to fully recover; he wanted to reassure Sanada and Sayaka that he would be there with her, from when he finished school until the next morning… well, maybe he could skip the part where he told his friend that he would be spending the night with her.
In that moment, a ball rolled over his feet, directly from the field. Jun raised his eyes and noticed that Ayasaki was coming to get the ball back. He didn't hesitate a moment. Jun stood up, took the ball with the tip of his foot, raised it from the floor and then kicked as hard as he could. Even though he hadn't been playing for a while, he was happy to know that his aim was still excellent: the ball hit Ayasaki's face with an incredible strength. The player moaned as he collapsed on his knees, his hands on his bleeding nose.
Ayasaki looked at him ready to make a scene and seemed to realise only in that moment who the boy standing in front of him was. The player stood up and went pale, his eyes opened wide.
"Lesson learned after two bleeding noses, Ayasaki-kun?" Jun asked him with a knowing smirk.
"Yes. Lesson learned." He mumbled as he took the ball and ran away towards the football field.
The End
A small tribute to the first ship of my life (and the best ship of CT!). I'll always love them dearly!