A/N: I've been updating this story on AO3 and completely forgot to update it here...whoops!

Chapter 8:

Keeping Secrets

[Zim]

I don't often make new discoveries here on this stinking planet, but tonight, a specific mercy has been granted: popcorn.

GIR consumed more bags than I could possibly keep up with, especially since my attention was forced to be on the filthy Dib all evening.

I threw the shabby blankets on the coffee table in such a way that they draped over the edges, and I informed GIR of his new base. By the time I returned downstairs, bloodied pizza box in hand, GIR was completely, utterly dead to the world. I suspect the immense fiber levels had funneled most of his energy reserves to digesting the cooked plant seeds and rendered him inactive for the night.

A mercy.

Standing in the dark kitchen, Dib's idiotic rambles fill my head.

I don't need blood.

I'll get better without it.

Get out!

A rush of heat, acidity, floods my system. I crumple the box into awkward shapes before using my PAK legs to compact it beyond repair and stuff it down to the bottom of the trash can.

Fine, you stupid human. Starve.

I slam the lid shut and glare into the darkness. My fists shake.

I should not be this moved by his predictably nonsensical reactions. Dib has never been smart. But something about his tone, his pallor, slumped there in his bed, pale and sick with the nerve to scold Zim for simply trying to help–

I resist the urge to kick the trash can only because GIR is sleeping soundly, barely ten feet away, and I can't deal with two idiots all night.

I'll wait until you've found some kind of cure–

"Stupid Dib," I hiss quietly. He's dropped all this horrid, fleshy business on me to resolve, and then he has attitude about it!

But the smaller voice whispers: what if I can't solve it?

I kick the trash can - gently. Then I check on GIR and his battery levels to ensure the popcorn is not slowly murdering him. Satisfied that he has not yet exploded, I grab the extra blanket from the couch and stalk up the stairs.

I owe Dib nothing - this is his problem, after all. But if I can't trick him into eating the blood, and I can't use my glorious reasoning abilities to persuade him, then I can at least observe him to ensure he does not devour his strange female pig sibling.

For science, of course. None of this is born of empathy or schmoopy, sticky human cares. Besides, the female did provide Zim with very comfortable attire for the event.

Her door is closed and, presumably, locked. I quietly open the door to Dib's room and peer inside to see him sleeping beneath a heap of blankets, snoring softly.

Gross.

I am most stealthy as I close the door behind me and arrange my blanket on the flat, scratchy carpet next to his bed. The setup is pitiful, but I don't require sleep anyway, so I try not to take offense at these human practices.

Dib makes a sound. Startled, I drop to the floor, quieting my senses while I wait for him to stir.

Nothing happens.

Must be having dreams.

I poke my head over the edge of the mattress, squinting in the dark. He shifts under the blankets, murmuring or whimpering or whatever. I sit up enough to observe his face. His brow dips and pulls, nose wrinkling slightly between his eyes, lips tugging down with unease. He looked this way in the lab - fitful, like a child enduring nightmares, unable to wake. He only slept peacefully once he fed on the human remains.

He turns again, gripping his pillow with a clenched hand. A small, airy noise is pressed between his teeth. It sounds…sad.

Something in my chest hurts, and I recoil from the bedside. I must not have fully recovered from our fight at the sick house. I try to avert my attention to snooping through his room, but it's a mess, and I'm not entirely confident in my ability to return any of it to its rightful "place." Besides, everything smells like him. I'm sure I'm standing in a biohazard.

"Filthy worm," I whisper. The evening breeze stirs through the open window, laced with a soft clink . I lean over the pane and observe the empty yard and the quiet streets beyond - then I spot the hairy canine creature on the other side of the fence, scratching its collared neck before lying down in the grass to sleep.

No humans. I reach up to close the window, but there's resistance in the frame that threatens to make noise. I leave it alone and return to the blanket on the floor, preparing myself for another long, excruciatingly boring night of babysitting.

[Gaz]

It's just past three when I sneak downstairs to retrieve batteries from the kitchen. GIR ate the remote after he lost Level One eleven different times - thank fucking god I have an extra one stashed in my room.

Batteries in hand, I glance over the counter to the living room. The couch is empty, and GIR is tucked under the coffee table, dead to the world.

No Zim.

My lip curls at his absence. I only had myself to make the bet with, but I've won in any event. These two are never up to anything normal.

I creep back up the stairs and stop in front of Dib's door, listening.

"You better be in there, Dib," I mutter. If he is, and if they're doing anything embarrassing, I'll have the added bonus of forever winning blackmail of the century.

The hinges creak half-heartedly as I carefully open the door and look inside to see…

Nothing.

"Huh." I step into the room and glare at the blanket on the floor and Dib's empty bed. Warmth blooms in my chest and I shove the batteries in my pocket.

I told him not to leave again. I told him – and Zim! Why are they so committed to being idiots?

I stand in the empty room for a moment, stewing in my anger before I notice the open window.

"Really?" I grumble, crossing the space. "You can't just use the front door?"

I stick my head out and immediately spot Dib crouched in the yard. I open my mouth, fully prepared to start yelling extra creative obscenities, but a clawed hand grabs me by the shoulder and yanks me from the window. I barely have time to register the sudden shift before I'm lying on the slanted roof, hand over my mouth, held tight against–

"Zmmph!" My rage is muffled and I feel the sharp tips of his claws against my cheek in response.

"Be quiet, pig girl!" he hisses. He waits a moment for me to stop struggling, which is very difficult. Air rushes through my nostrils as he releases my face and pushes me to the side, twisting his body over mine with bright red eyes glowing in the darkness.

I snap my mouth shut and stare up at him. The shingles are cold against my back. He pokes my forehead, showing jagged teeth.

"Do not make a sound," he says, and for once, his voice doesn't sound stupid. He glares at me until I nod, and then he turns and sits beside me on the roof.

Slowly, I sit up, drawing my knees to my chest and resisting the urge to push him over the edge.

"Tell me what's going on," I whisper as quietly as possible, "or I'll kick you off the roof."

He doesn't bother looking at me and instead focuses on the yard below us - on Dib, I assume.

"Your brother is an idiot," he mutters. As if that explains any of this.

"Way ahead of you on that conclusion, genius." I scoot closer and stretch my neck to peer over the edge. Dib's still down there, hunched over…something. Now that my heart isn't pounding outside my skull, I can hear faint sounds. Crunching, maybe? Fuck, it's too dark to see much else. I press my shoulder against Zim's. "What's he doing down there?"

"Eating," he says simply. "A dog, I think. It's rather hairy."

My blood slows to a cold stop. "...What?" I stare at him, but he keeps his gaze on Dib and doesn't elaborate. "Keep talking, Zim. I gave you my PJs - don't make me take them back."

Zim is silent for a moment. He purses his lips and sighs heavily. "Zim is not supposed to tell you…but, no matter. Dib isn't listening, anyway." He tucks his knees under his chin and his expression becomes troubled. "He's infected with something. I'm not sure what it is yet, but it's…changing him."

Heat flares across my bones. "I knew you were lying," I hiss. It takes all I have to not punch him in the face. I wrap my arms around my knees and clench the fabric of my PJs in my hands. "I swear, I–"

"Don't be dramatic" he grumbles, dismissing my rage. "The lies are not personal. Your stupid brother spends his free time wandering around filthy old buildings - he was bound to catch something one way or another."

"Zim," I growl, "he's eating a dog. This isn't tetanus or the flu - what the fuck is he sick with?"

Zim's eyes narrow. The crunching sounds are so much louder now. My stomach turns and I glare down at my feet instead.

"I'm…working on it," he says quietly. Defeated. He shakes his head. "This is his fault. Stupid idiot. He kept refusing the blood– medicine because he's a giant baby. I tried to get him to have some before he went to sleep, and he argued like an insolent child, and now he's making yet another mess for me to clean up."

The bitterness soaks each word, but my mind is stuck on blood.

No way…that's not possible…

And yet, here I am, sitting on the roof of my house, next to an alien in pink pajamas, watching my older brother eat the neighbor's dog.

My life is so fucking weird.

"So…he's a vampire-zombie thing?" I ask, growing numb. "That's what you mean by 'infected'?"

Zim rolls his eyes. "Those are merely human myths." He pauses, tapping a claw on his knee. "But the myths are based on something, and whatever it is has altered his DNA. I need a specimen from the source of his infection so I can properly run the results in the database, because nothing came up with his sample."

"And I assume Dib doesn't know what infected him?"

Zim scoffs. "No - he's useless, as usual. He insists nothing happened to him. He took me to the abandoned home and all I found was a wrinkly old lady in the basement."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that was the vampire."

He shrugs. "Possibly. I didn't have a chance to confirm any theories. Dib's behavior…complicated things. I'll to go back once he's stable."

The trees rustle in the wind. If I focus hard enough, the wet, bony sounds blend with the leaves turning on the breeze.

"Aren't you going to stop him?" I whisper.

Zim glances at me, confused. "Why would I do that? Isn't this preferred?" He gestures to the gorey scene below with callousness; a cold reminder that he is an alien, after all. "He is not harming another human. The Dib did not mention this to Zim in our agreement. Besides, you all eat animals anyway."

I tug mindlessly at the loose folds of my pants. "Yeah, but…that's someone's pet. And Dib loves dogs."

"Yes, well, I'm sure those people will purchase another creature to leave unattended all night." He squints at me and his tone shifts. "Don't tell Dib if you're so concerned with his reaction. The stupid boy doesn't need to know everything."

I lean back, making sure I stay out of sight. "...He doesn't know what he's doing when he's like this?"

Zim shrugs. "It varies. He recalled eating the fat man from the house of disease."

My brow knits. "Uh…what?" A chill rolls through my skin. "You mean…he's already done this to someone?"

"Yes, that's what I said." He glances at my horrified expression and pats my knee. "Do not worry your pig head - it was just one human, and he was rather disgusting. There are no sweats to be had."

"That's fucked up." My nostrils flare with frustration that has no real place to go. "How long do we have to sit here?"

"He'll be done soon," Zim mutters. "Shifting makes him tired - I expect he'll fall asleep shortly, and it will be safe to approach."

"Can't you do something?" I press. "You have those weird robot arms. Can't you just grab him and knock him out?"

A strange expression crosses his face. "No," he says simply. "I can't."

Useless. I chew on my lip and change the subject. "You owe me a new remote, by the way. Your robot ate it after he kept losing the first level."

"Yes, yes, whatever."

Silence passes between us as we watch my brother dig through the rib cage of our neighbor's poor doodle. After what feels like a torturous eternity, Dib staggers away from the carcass. He only makes it a few steps before he doubles over, vomits, and falls on his face.

Not even vampirism can spare his clumsy ass.

We creep toward the edge of the roof and wait for him to move, but he doesn't. Zim grabs the rain gutter and maneuvers down the side of the house, landing in the grass without a sound. I, on the other hand, make a much less graceful descent, and I don't bother asking for help.

By the time I hit the ground, Zim is already circling Dib's prone form, tilting his head. I wipe the dirt off my knees and trudge over, making an effort to avoid looking at the dead dog.

"Interesting," Zim hums. "It seems his body rejected the animal meat. Partially, at least."

I focus on Zim because I can't look at Dib.

"Fascinating," I dead-pan. "Now what?"

Zim is quiet for a moment. He frowns and looks at me. "The Dib will be upset about the dog?"

My stomach curls. I cross my arms. "Yeah, probably."

He blinks and puts one claw on his lower lip, considering his options. "...We won't tell him, then. We'll clean him up and dispose of the creature and pretend he never left his room."

"Sounds like a plan," I mutter. "But just to be clear, I am not touching the dog. You can take care of that. Now get this doofus up the stairs."

Lo and behold, Zim's freaky robot legs do work. He carries the idiot to the bathtub, and after an hour of cleaning the blood and gore, Dib is looking more or less his normal, loser self.

"Man," I peel the gloves from my hands and toss them in the trash bag, "you weren't kidding about the deep sleep. He's out of it."

Zim leans over my shoulder, inspecting my work. "Where is his shirt?"

"It's in the wash." I push him away and stand to my feet, cursing the ache in my legs from kneeling by the tub. "I told you, the dude has no extra clothes. And I'm washing that shit twice."

"Hm."

I tie up the trash bag and stretch my shoulders. "Okay, I'll–"

"What about his mouth?" Zim nudges me aside. I wrinkle my nose.

"Yeah…that would be some diabolical morning breath." I drop the trash and grab Dib's toothbrush from the cup by the sink. It's safe to assume I'll need the entire bottle of toothpaste for this.

"He's not gonna bite me, right?" I ask, wincing as I kneel down on the mat. "Because I will punch him in the throat."

"He's been asleep this entire time - don't be a baby."

I scoff and pile the toothpaste on the brush like a fucking ice cream sundae. "Okay, fine - but you can hold his mouth open." I pass him a glare. "Just in case."

Zim's only protest is a half-assed sneer. He kneels beside me and carefully pulls Dib's lips away from his teeth, propping open his jaw.

"Holy shit," I breathe at the sight of the fangs protruding from his gums. "Those are–"

"Hurry up!" Zim hisses. "I do not wish to have my hands this close to his mouth any longer than absolutely necessary!"

"Okay, geez!" My hands are shaking, but Zim doesn't say anything rude. It's fine, I'm just…tired, probably.

And brushing dog guts off my brother's vampire teeth .

"Nice," I grumble. "Very helpful, brain."

"I am helping!"

"Not you, dumbass. Can you tilt his chin back? Yeah - like that." I lean in as much as the turning in my stomach will allow and scrub the bristles over each tooth. Zim groans impatiently. I ignore him until I can't see the brush past all the minty foam.

It's another ordeal entirely trying to lean his body forward enough to get everything out of his mouth, but between me trying not to puke and Zim whining like a baby, we manage to get the job done.

I wipe the bathroom down with as many cleaning products as I can find while Zim carefully pulls Dib from the tub and carries him back to his room. My hands sting from the repetitive washing, and exhaustion falls on me like a lead coat. I drag myself up from the bleached tiles, shuffle into Dib's room, and watch in mild surprise as Zim tucks the sleeping idiot under the covers in a way that seems oddly gentle.

"You gonna kiss him goodnight too?"

He jerks back from the bed and hisses. "I'm just trying to keep him comfortable so he can sleep off his horrible, diseased brain."

"I'm sure." He skirts around me as I climb onto the squeaky mattress and flop down between Dib and the wall, undoing all Zim's hard work and tugging the blankets over me. It's not comfortable, but I don't care. My brother's a vampire and he just ate the neighbor's dog. It's not like I'm going to get any real sleep tonight anyway.

"What are you doing?" Zim whispers, red eyes squinting against the shadows on the wall. I pull Dib's pillow closer to my side and fold my arms over my torso, listening to the pattern of his snores.

"Sleeping. Duh." I blink up at the fan for a moment before letting my eyelids fall shut - mostly so Zim can take the hint and stop talking. The room grows quiet. I wait for him to leave, listening for the sound of the door - but then, the mattress dips slightly to my right, and he tucks himself under the covers without a word. I smirk against the pillowcase and murmur, "Goodnight, Zim."