Never too Serious 9 - (DCverse, SI)
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Secret Cabals are tedious organizations to keep afloat after being allegedly wiped out by a man that donned the mask of a bat.
It was even ironic his prey were Owls of the night that had, for many decades, ruled over Gotham City. And as the leading figure, the mysterious Judge, walked back to their lair, they could sense something would go differently tonight.
Ever since Mayor Hady had started to lose momentum in the polls, plans had been drafted to groom the ideal political replacement. Someone that could spring the Court back to prominence and allow them to finally destroy the Batman. The production of mutants had gone smoothly despite the original formula no longer within their clutches, and the Judges carefully oversaw the weaving of the new recruits to the higher court.
New members of the high society that were affable through the ways of the violent cult and that could thus grant them new blood and life. And it would have all gone truly well for them all until that very strange night. And the Judge would be the witness of what occurs when an issue is left untouched for far too long.
When rumors of a new Joker had reached their ears, the Judge had hardly given it any attention - despite its chaotic nature, the Clown Prince of Crime was not a threat to their control and, at times, it could be said he was a reliable beast to push around with the right shoves. So, the novelty was met with meek interest, and, even more, there were no actions taken by the new Joker that could have truly scandalized the group.
This should have been a sign that something was bound to change in their status quo.
And as the Judge arrived to the lair and strolled up to their command post, which was a safe bunker away from most other underground facilities owned by the Court, they froze up. Sitting down, the masked figure noticed that, through his terminal, various screens showed the aftermath of a massacre. The mutants were slaughtered, the Talons had been blasted to limbs and blood, while the new life of the court, the high court... only masks remained as blood littered the ground.
H-How did- How did this happen!?
Yet the Judge's nightmare was far from over as the attack on what was left of the Court of Owl was far from done. Especially as the only door leading up to their safe command post suddenly moved to close and then CLANG it was shut.
Turning to look behind them, the Judge felt their luck vanish as they recognized both individuals.
"So, about those five bucks," The Joker inquired without any smile on his face, the new mask-bearer of the cruel jester showing not much mirth in his tone either.
"After we're done with the job," The Red Hood growled as he had a gun leveled at the Judge.
"Still, I bet you are surprised I got this one right."
"I am, and I want to know how you knew they were still around," The former robin asked, but before the Judge could get any clue on this very response, on how the new Joker, a nobody, knew about their continued survival-
BANG!
"After we're done with the job," The Joker replied flatly as he nonchalantly shot the Judge on his head, causing Jason to roll his eyes at this stupid situation.
Here he was, trying to understand more of this bastard, and all he got was a mysterious rendezvous that led up to the rediscovery of the Court of Owls, and the complete decimation of it without pulling any punches. Sure, it was a fun way to spend a Sunday night, but it sure felt upsetting how difficult it was to predict the new Joker.
His lack of smiles, of chuckles, and grins, coupled with his constant joking and punning made this version very confusing and very annoying.
"Oh, don't give me that look, Jay. You're the one that decided I was 'dad' enough to get me a new sidekick and, spoiler alert, she's wearing stuff she wants. I am not like Bruce with the early... legs out costume for Robins."
Another growl, then the Joker walked up to the terminal and... shut it off.
"So, answers. How did I know? Well, can you really say that a cockroach is dead until you have proof of its demise?"
"No. But you were too confident about it," Jason argued, and the man shrugged. "Seriously? Nothing else?"
"Maybe I had this gut feeling that a decades-long secret cult would have a way or two to survive a non-killing bat."
Jason sighed then noticed the Joker pausing as he reached for his phone. "What now?"
"Well, let's just say that I got news from out of Gotham. And... I will not go. Nope," The Joker hummed distractedly, writing something back at a message and then looking back at Jason. "Hm? What?"
"What was that?"
"Okay, that's a bit clingy girlfriend, and I am sure you have one already, Jay. No need to think that, just because I have the ugly makeup, I am also into mysterious vigilantes," The Joker argued, then huffed at Jason's lack of relaxation in his posture. "Fine, it was Lexy boy and he wanted to get the old gang reunited."
That was big. If Luthor was hiring, then it meant it was best to alert the Justice League... so, why was he sure that it wasn't needed. Or that the Joker wasn't just dropping the matter like this.
"And what's your plan about it?"
His eyes widened forcefully. "Me? Oh, I am not doing much. My nerds at the base? They have this little hacking trick to test out."
...
"Are you planning to rob him blind?"
"Nah, the IRS is scary. I have something a bit more... 'fitting' for someone like Lex Luthor."
And while the Joker wasn't smiling, Jason couldn't help but imagine the guy actually doing so as he said those words.
Lex Luthor was a clever man.
And one that would hardly struggle to find 'assistance' when his plans required more than the usual henchmen at his disposals. So, when he got a party ready to receive the best agents he could hire, he had a few clues that things were not going to go as intended. Not when his trustworthy henchwoman, Mercy Graves, delivered him a rather grim piece of news.
"Sir, the banks have notified us that most of your accounts have been drained empty. You- You have just your public one available."
This was not something that one could easily stomach, but someone as old and experienced as Lex knew better than show the utter horror that was devouring him at the news. And as he found his plans crumbling before his own eyes, his little 'gathering' remained a mere party. Many villains seemed to enjoy the lack of a 'new plan', while some of the more ambitious ones looked confused and 'interested' to know what had made him hold back.
They would try to humor themselves with all sorts of silly plotting, but Luthor was not up for that sort of chatting. Rather, he let the party come and go, and then he started to look on who had caused this mess and where the money had gone to.
The first guess that came to his attention was that the cause of the hacking had stolen the money and kept it in a single place - that guess was shredded the moment the late night news hit and there was a worldwide reportage of his company pumping various charity organizations all over the planet with money.
The news confused him immensely, but it added a curious detail to the matter: whoever did this didn't want or need his money. And the way this was delivered felt quite close to a... Joke.
Now, this mere idea was enough to get the sole culprit out in the clear. After all, the Joker had skipped on his invitation with a stupid and fake excuse, but while his earliest reaction to this discovery was to find the clown and make him pay, he was surprised to find an encrypted file had been left behind as confirmation to his discovery and...
A threat.
The file itself was a video and, upon a first look, Lex felt his annoyance for the Joker vanishing almost instantly as it was replaced by a sense of irritation at who was on the other side of the screen. It wasn't the ugly mug of the Joker, but... a certain superpowered boyscout.
"Lex, I am not sure how much true what the Joker told me of your plans and his response to them, but I can assure you one thing: if you plan to cause issues in Gotham or anywhere in the world, I will know and the League will monitor you for the time being. You have been warned."
A snarl left the bald man's mouth as he hurled an empty cup once filled with coffee at the screen, cracking it.
The point had been sent across and, truth be told, he should have expected the laughing bastard to have a way to cover his ass from his wrath. And Lex had to admit the way he swayed things to his favor was... interesting. Yet, what truly baffled the rich criminal was not the clever and yet simple plan that struck him in a bad spot for the time being...
It was the fact that the Joker decided to actually go against him and rely on heroes rather than be the same old agent of chaos as he used to be so... what's going on in Gotham? And what was up with the Joker?
AN
Oh, not much, Lexy-boy. Let's just say that the Joker is currently doing well in life... so the 'writers' have to bring him down a notch. So, how about a bit of a serious arc for the new Joker as he faces someone that wants to bring back the old jolly fucker? Except not through the ways of resurrection but... by having the new one retrieve his smile.
Next time, the first chapter of a multi-parter where the Joker discovers a few things about himself, his body, his bonds, and, surprisingly enough, finds out that there is such a thing as the 'Jokerverse'. Except is not as simple or as single-multidimensional as Marvel's Spiderverse is.