25

"Burn,"

It was a simple word, but it was all I could think about. Entering the car, Arthur gave me a worried look. His head nodded in the direction of the Amazon. She was curled into a ball in the backseat. A soft whimper came from her lips. She was overwhelmed.

"Take us home, Arthur,"

Arthur looked at me puzzled.

"Say something to her..." he mouthed.

Arthur was used to dealing with women. He had been married for years and was a gentle soul. I, on the other hand, was not a gentleman. I was a brute. My crimson-covered hand said as much. The thought of my bloodied hands touching her felt wrong, so I did nothing. I got into the car and sat in silence.

Arthur gave me one last dirty look before pulling away from the burning Cat's Den. In the rearview mirror, the green flames were visible for miles. Driving further away from the burning building didn't quench my fury. The silence wasn't helping either- if you call what I experience silence. There was never complete quiet. I heard everything from the tires gripping the pavement to her breath against her skin. She was blowing 'his' stench about the car. It was driving me insane.

I closed my eyes, trying to enter the void, the absence of light and the enemy of Rao. There was nothing for a few moments but the smirk of Darkseid broke through the darkness. His pale grey face bore into me.

"Weakling," I heard his twisted voice bellow.

He held the Amazon with his rock-like hands but his red eyes taunted me.

"I'll take her from you,"

"Never..." I growled.

As I spoke, Darkseid crumpled into dust. His smirk was the last thing to vanish, still mocking me with his last words...

"Until we meet... Diana..."

Opening my eyes, the muffled sounds around me grew louder. It was a disorienting sensation. I needed to focus on one sound.

Thump… thump…

Her heartbeat. It invaded my eardrums with its distinctive rhythm, drowning out all other sounds. Though I found it soothing, she was afraid.

"Damnit!"

I couldn't contain the rage that filled me. My vision was consumed by a red film that rose from deep within my core.

"Kal…"

In the faint reaches of my mind, I heard J'onzz. I knew what he wanted to say.

"Arthur has already tried," I replied mentally. "I can't...I'm not in control..."

J'onzz meant well, but he wasn't feeling molten fire seeping out of his eyes. If I turned around at this moment she would be met with flames. What sane person would seek comfort from a savage beast with burning eyes?

"But you are,"

J'onzz's voice whispered.

"If you weren't, you would have burned a hole through the dashboard already," he continued.

I breathed in.

"Calm your rage and speak to her..."

I breathed in and breathed out, matching the pattern of her heartbeat. Out of the corner of my eye, Arthur's mouth moved.

Thump, thump…

He nodded back to the Amazon. The rhythmic thumping of the Amazon's heartbeat had slowed.

"I tried," I heard Arthur's voice invade my head.

J'onzz had linked Arthur to our non-conversation.

"No..." I replied firmly.

Arthur immediately sat straighter in his seat as he disconnected himself from J'onzz and me. He knew better than to press further. But in a moment of weakness, my eyes looked in the rearview mirror. I held my breath as I finally saw her. Her head was buried between her knees and her arms held everything in place. Guilt ran through me.

"Clark…" J'onzz called.

I cringed as I heard him call me by the name 'those people' gave me.

"...Talk to me, kid..."

"Using that name to get my attention now J'onzz?" I asked coldly.

"It got you to talk, didn't it?" J'onzz replied.

I sighed. He felt the rage swirling within me. I wasn't in the mood to talk about what had just happened. He made a mistake, everyone does. I wasn't angry at him for something Selina had done. She had always been a snake. Bitterness at Bruce's infidelity or my unwillingness to allow one of her establishments into Metropolis for so long. Honestly, it no longer mattered. She was gone and Darkseid was a present threat because of her actions.

J'onzz had a blind spot for finding the 'good' in people. His 'blind spot' for kindness saved my life. Without him, I'd be more savage than I already am. He's probably the only person who gives a shit about me.

"It's fine J'onzz," I replied, with a sigh. "You try to see the good in people, even for those who don't deserve it…"

"Like you?" J'onzz's voice cracked. "I should have been more mindful of Selina and her loyalties. My lack of oversight put the Amazon in danger…"

His voice was firm when he referred to the Amazon. It was as if he was saying she was mine. She wasn't, she was too pure to be anything to me.

"It's been a long day J'onzz," I interrupted. "Just prepare my hookah for me."

"Getting high won't…" he said.

My eyes shot back to the rearview mirror. Her head was still buried in her knees. Her whole body moved with every breath she took. She looked so fragile. I fought the urge to reach out for her.

"I need to feel… nothing..." I muttered.

Balling my hands into fists, I pulled my gaze away from her.

"... make those feelings go away Clark…" J'onzz added. "It's ok to feel something for her…"

"J'onzz don't press your luck," I growled. "I've killed two people today. I'd hate to make it three…"

"Having someone to care about will make you stronger…" J'onzz said.

"I am already strong enough," I laughed, but my voice was darker than usual. "Darkseid or Apollo, it makes no difference. I will kill them..."

My laughter couldn't hide what I was feeling from J'onzz. He knew all too well what I wanted to do. I wanted to take her into my arms and merely hold her. To feel her gentleness against me.

"Then do it,"

He read my thoughts, but she was off-limits.

"We're here…" I heard Arthur's voice.

Once we came to a complete stop, I swiftly rushed inside the compound. Making my way up to the 'white room', I slammed the door closed.

"You don't need this…"

J'onzz stood in front of me with a massive lead chest in his arms.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," I hissed at him as I took the box from his grasp.

"But you need it," J'onzz replied.

I ignored J'onzz's words as I waited for him to leave. He shook his head.

"...She'll be in your room, waiting..."

"Then comfort her yourself,"

J'onzz bowed his head and left me. I waited for him to close the door before I walked to the lone white couch in the middle of the room. Taking a seat, I placed the box beside the hookah. Opening it, a glowing piece of Kryptonite illuminated the room with a green hue. I grabbed one of the spikes poking out from the main piece of green rock. Breaking off a piece, I placed it in the bottom of the hookah and turned it on. I waited a few seconds before I brought the pipe to my lips.

Hot Kryptonite-laced smoke filled my lungs. I took a long deep breath as my whole body started to relax. The sounds around me started to blend into a nonsensical hum in the back of my mind. I leaned back against the couch and stretched my arms across the back of it. Peace finally. I took another puff. I held it in for a couple of seconds before slowly releasing it.

Thump, thump...

My eyes shot open as I took another puff. Staring at the ceiling, I saw her reflection in the mirrors. She wore the shirt I'd slipped on her the night before. Damnit J'onzz. She was as beautiful as I remembered. Slowly, I started to exhale. It took her a minute to realize that I was staring at her. She panicked and started to rush back outside of the room. Immediately, my body moved on its own and collided with her. I grabbed hold of her hand that was resting on the doorknob. I pulled her and the door closer to me.

"Amazon..." I growled, slurring my words together

The wall cracked around the doorframe as I closed the door. I towered over her as I looked down. Her body was dwarfed by my own. Releasing the doorknob, I pulled her in close. Wrapping my arm around her tiny waist.

"… so beautiful..." I growled as I pressed her body up against me.

The closeness was engulfing my senses.

"... Mine..."

"I belong to no man or god," she said.

I leaned my head down to hers. She tilted her head up to look me in the eyes. She stared at me defiantly. Her eyes traveled down to my lips. I licked them.

Thump, thump…

Silence filled the room between us. She searched my face as the green smoke of Kryptonite filled the room. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of smoke. Tilting my head up to the sky, I exhaled and brought my head back down to her.

"I am neither," I answered.

The last stick of common sense tried to get my body to stop the words from leaving my mouth but it failed.

Thump, thump, thump…

Her heart rate tripled and I finally broke. I leaned down and claimed her lips for my own. As our lips met, I pulled back immediately. I felt her breath on my face. Looking down at her lips, I noticed that I'd bruised them.

"Leave me," I growled. "... before I do something I'll regret, Amazon,"

I took several steps away from her. Her chest heaved up and down as she watched me take another deep breath bringing the green smoke into my lungs. She took a step toward me, but I couldn't allow her to get any closer. I let the fire burning inside fill my eyes. I blasted the wall right beside her head. She stood there without flinching.

"You didn't break me when you removed my clothes before," she said. "... why would you do so now..."

My face flushed. I hoped she wouldn't remember.

"I know not of what you speak," I lied.

"Was it not you who placed me in this?"

"No..."

I turned my back to her.

"I break everything I touch," I continued. "If I'd removed your clothes... You'd be dead..."

She stood there for a moment in silence before finally walking out of the room. She closed the door, resting her back on the door on the other side.

"I don't believe," she whispered.

I took a deep breath laced with Kryptonite, as she spoke. I held it in, waiting for her to leave. The burning in my lungs didn't distract me from the thoughts of her. After a while, she went back to my room. I slumped down on the white couch. Bringing the metal mouthpiece to my lips, I breathed in pure green bliss.

It crafted images of her lips against mine. Every inch of my body reforged the sensation her skin created against mine. The room was filled with her. I didn't want to escape it.

"Shit,"

J'onzz was right, I did care.