Chapter 2

Kathryn had her eyes on her PADD and a cup of coffee in her hand as she stepped into her ready room. Based on what her officers in training had told her, it was a miracle that the latest ship diagnostic showed absolutely no trace of the strange crack in the fabric of time they had witnessed before. In fact-

She came to an abrupt halt when she lifted her gaze and found someone standing in her office. Chakotay! He stood with his back to her looking at the items on her shelf, clad in a fresh uniform and hands clasped behind his back.

Her heart leapt then raced in her chest at the sight of him, and she was totally unprepared for the rush of emotion that assaulted her. He was really here. She'd gotten him back. Would she ever get over the wonder of it all?

She didn't even try to contain her full-blown smile as she approached him. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?"

He startled a little at her sudden appearance behind him, but his expression brightened when he shifted to look at her over his shoulder. He smiled, his eyes following her movements as she came to stand next to him. "There was something I needed to take care of on the Protostar. But, I'm here now." Though he was smiling softly, there was something about the way he spoke the last part, a grave quality that matched the poised, almost solemn way he stood.

Still smiling, she leaned forward to meet his eyes earnestly. "Yes. You are. I still can hardly believe it!" She added softly, a chuckle in her voice. Both her hands were busy with the PADD and the coffee, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to resist touching him, if only to make sure.

He huffed out an amazed breath, and his gaze was earnest when it met hers. "Me neither. But I think it's finally started to sink in."

She let herself linger in that warm gaze for a moment longer. "Would you like it back?" She asked with a nudge of her chin toward item he had been looking at when she'd come in. His chah-mooz-ee stone.

He followed her gaze to it before returning his eyes to her, smiling softly. "It's been safe with you all this time. Why don't you keep it for a while longer." He reached out to touch it with his index finger. "Though I might borrow it every once in a while. It's a symbol of healing – and I fear I have a lot of healing left to do yet." His voice dipped lower at the end, his expression growing distant. He pulled back his hand.

She sobered instantly. She'd already learned from the kids that from his perspective, ten years had passed since he'd first taken the Protostar from Solum and marooned himself on Ysida. They'd told her (in a rather disjointed cacophony) what they'd learned from holographic Janeway, about losing Adreek, and his crew. She couldn't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. To sacrifice his life, after having already lost everything else. As lost as she had felt sometimes in the Delta Quadrant, at least she'd had her hope and her crew to help her keep herself together. She'd had him.

Her heart ached for him. She longed to comfort him. But she wasn't quite sure how to do that yet. So she went with the most obvious: making sure he knew she was there for him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly.

He exhaled, brows furrowing, but he met her eyes. "No. I mean not right now. There'll be plenty of time for that later."

Her smile brightened. "Plenty of time."

Lips quirking up, he crossed his fingers, tossing her a playful look. "At least I hope so."

Kathryn's heart skipped multiple beats at the sense of déjà vu and the familiar teasing gleam in his gaze. And from the way his eyes traced the contours of her face for a brief moment, almost longingly, the reference hadn't been an accident on his part either. Feeling flustered under that gaze, she had to consciously shake herself. "Well, I'm here to listen, if you ever want to tell me. When you're ready."

His eyes seemed to bore into her for second, then he blinked and his smile turned crooked. "First day back and you've already managed to surprise me."

"How so?"

He gave a quick shake of the head, still smiling. "I just expected you to ask a lot more questions. Your curiosity is rather legendary, after all. And you're an admiral, you're bound to want answers."

She shook her head, meeting his eyes squarely, because this was no joking matter. "I'm just happy to have you back, Chakotay. Nothing else matters to me right now except knowing that you're safe. And welcoming you home."

He sucked in a deep breath at her words, then released it slowly through his nose, the movement making his whole upper body rise and fall, looking at her with such sudden intense emotion she had to blink moisture from her own eyes. "Thank you."

"Well..." she conceded, her smile a little watery, hoping to lighten the mood. "You're not wrong about one thing though: I am curious. Would you at least tell me how you got back here? All I got from my young protégés were disjointed bits and excited ramblings about alternate realities and giant eels that feed on electricity. In exchange I'm willing to tell you about the time Dal and I switched bodies when he tried to contact me telepathically."

He scoffed in amusement and surprise, then, realizing she wasn't kidding, he let out a chuckle. "I have a feeling I'll be getting a lot more out of this exchange than you will." He paused, biting his lips. "I don't know what time it is, but..." He glanced around as if looking for a clock. "Are you hungry? How about we trade stories over a meal?"

Her heart would have melted even if the hint of hopeful uncertainty hadn't been there in his voice and expression. She grinned, setting her cup down on the shelf so she could loop her arm around his. His eyes seemed to dance at the gesture.

"Best idea I've heard all day."

Although a petty part of Kathryn fantasized about taking Chakotay to the mess hall so her crew could see that none of their efforts - none of the risks they'd taken - had been in vain, in the end it was the selfish part that wanted him all to herself that won out. So she led him to her quarters instead, all the while answering his questions about Voyager-A and the numerous updates they had equipped the ship with. Though he expressed genuine interest, it was obvious that this was also a form of small talk for them. After their emotionally charged reunion, this was a safe way of getting reacquainted with each other, even though – as he'd said in the transporter room – in some ways it felt as though he'd never left. But the lingering intensely quiet quality that still clang to him as he walked next to her reminded her in the most acute way that he had. That years had passed. Did he find her changed, she wondered? Would it be obvious to him that everything that had happened over the last couple of years was starting to take its toll on her?

She shoved the uncomfortable thought aside when they arrived at her quarters and she let them in, then made a beeline for the replicator.

"Do you argue with this one as much as you did the old one?" Chakotay asked, his smile teasing and hands at his hips in a posture so familiar she felt her heart squeeze.

"Oh no. This one is much better behaved," she drawled jokingly in response.

When he told her she should choose their meal for them, she programmed something light but filling and they moved to sit at the table to eat, as they had done countless times before – on a different ship, in a different life. While they resumed their conversation and he eventually started telling her about the kids' arrival on Ysida and how they helped him get the Protostar space-worthy again, she curbed her curiosity at the way he seemed to be savoring every single bite of his meal, or the parts of the story he glossed over a little too quickly, and instead let herself bask in the familiar sound of his voice – loving how it had gotten a little raspier as he'd gotten older, refamiliarizing herself with the angular features of his face, enjoying the teasing tilt of his lips when he gave her the hint of a smile she'd missed so much. And the more he spoke, the more he seemed to grow back to his old self, letting humor into his voice, his cadence alternating between seriousness and playfulness. His humor, the engaging conversation, the gleam in his eyes, the blunt honesty – all of it was another stark reminder of why she'd missed him so much (not that she needed reminding at this point). Were it not for their uniforms, matching gray hairs, and their upcoming mission to return the Protostar to Tars Lamora that lingered on the back of her mind like white noise, it would have been all too easy to think they were back on Voyager. Their Voyager.

But with her heart so full and in constant risk of overflowing with joy, ache, and deep, deep love for this man, it was a very good thing they weren't. Because for the first time since meeting him, she felt free to let her feelings ignite at last, and if she'd learned anything from his disappearance, it was to never take him for granted ever again. There was something scary at the prospect of no longer having any of the safety nets she had clung to in the Delta Quadrant, but she was ready to face it now. At long last, she was ready to face it all. Whatever fears and insecurities she might have appeared trivial compared to what they had gone through to get to this point. Of course the big question now was, would he be ready to embrace the potential between them too? By the way she caught him gazing at her – with a heady mix of longing, continued wonder, and affection – it was hard not to let hope and anticipation bubble up to the surface. Yet, after what he'd been through and the emotional rollercoaster he must be experiencing at the moment, the last thing she wanted was to press him or add to his turmoil. She'd wait for him, she decided, for as long as it took.

By the time he got to the part about Voyager being fractured into alternate realities because of a crack they had created in spacetime, they were done eating and had moved to sit side by side on her couch, each with a cup of coffee in hand and sitting at an angle to better face each other.

"...Gwyn managed to engage the deflector dish, there was a flash of bright light and then... Here we were," he ended softly eventually. "In the transporter room. The right one, this time."

"Extraordinary." She exhaled as she took it all in, shaking her head at him in amazement. "They're a smart, resilient bunch, aren't they?" She asked softly, lips curling in pride.

"They've surprised me at every turn," he agreed, smiling.

She shifted to put her now empty mug on the coffee table before returning to her position, folding her legs under her and her elbow resting against the back of the couch so she could rest her temple against her knuckles. She shook her head again, this time in a mix of amazement and puzzlement. Her gaze wandered to the stars beyond her viewscreen. "All those alternate realities. It raises questions, doesn't it?"

"About what?" His voice had gotten softer, warmer. Exhaustion seemed to have caught up to him over the last couple of hours, because his eyelids drooped a little as he looked at her. She couldn't blame him. Now that the adrenaline rush of his return was fading, she felt about ready to drop herself. But, she didn't want to yet. Let this moment last a little longer. She was surprised at how much she hated the thought of saying goodbye to him, even for just a few hours.

"Possibilities," she replied quietly. "Roads not taken. Do you think there's a reality out there for every decision every one of us makes?"

He huffed out a smile, giving her a pointed look. "I don't think I'm the right person to ask, Kathryn. But that would be a lot of realities. I guess it's lucky for us that we only had to get through eight decks, and not an infinity of them," he added, chuckling a little.

She grinned too.

Then before she could lose herself in the warmth of his expression or give in to the impulse to snuggle into his warmth until sleep claimed her, she forced herself to push to her feet, mindful of the late hour and his obvious exhaustion, and grabbed their discarded mugs on the way to bring them to the counter for cleaning. He followed a moment later, stopping by the table first to grab their empty plates and whatever else he could carry.

When he stopped a half a step behind her and reached around her to leave some of the stuff on the counter, the accidental brush of his arm against hers and the warmth of his body behind her made her skin buzz, her entire being entirely all too aware of him. Heavens above. Had he always smelled this good? She barely resisted the urge to close her eyes at the unexpected assault of him on her senses. Before she knew it he had stepped away and back toward the table again to gather what remained.

"But you're right," he said quietly then, picking up the conversation where they'd left off. "Going through all those realities has left me wondering...Between the Mirror Universe, realities in which you were gone, another one in which Tuvix was captain of Voyager..."

"What?" She pressed, smiling, as she started piling up plates and bowls. She'd take care of it in the morning, but she could at least-

All thoughts fled her head when she sensed him step closer again, stopping when he was half a step behind her and slightly off to the side, so close if she leaned back just a little, her shoulder blade would rest against his chest. He exhaled softly, his breath against her hair and tickling her ear.

"Is there a reality out there in which we get it right?" He asked softly, his deep voice sending a shiver down her spine.

Her heart gave a powerful lurch in her chest before thudding back into a painfully mad rhythm. Her mouth had gone suddenly dry so she swallowed. "Well..." She started, voice quavering a little as she slowly turned to face him, not entirely surprised to find him standing so close she had to tip her head back to lift her eyes to his. "How about this one?"

He shook his head, obviously assuming she had misunderstood him. "No, I'm talking about...us, Kathryn. You and me."

The mix of raw hope and wistfulness on his face as he met her gaze nearly broke her heart. It spurred her into action. Her hand moved to rest on his chest, marveling at the way his breath hitched and his eyes widened ever so slightly. Sharpened their focus – on her. And heavens above, the way his heart thundered under her palm...

She made sure to hold his gaze before she spoke, breathlessly, but with certainty. "So am I, Chakotay."

A volley of emotions crossed his face in a flash so fast she could only catch a handful – incredulity, hope, joy, doubt, relief, wonder, eagerness, disbelief. He searched her eyes, his throat bobbing when he swallowed, his brows furrowing as though struggling to restrain something too powerful to contain.

Slowly, she lifted her hand to the side a little, palm facing him. His eyes slid to her fingers briefly, and recognizing the invitation, his lips curled when he lifted his own hand to bring his palm to hers until they fully touched, their grip growing firmer as their fingers interlocked. It was a simple touch, and one that was familiar to them, from a lifetime ago, and yet Kathryn found herself marveling at the sensation of his callused thumb brushing against the back of her hand, the warmth of his palm against hers and the strength of his fingers. He huffed out an amazed smile, one that made one corner of his mouth tug upward, brows knitting together as he returned his gaze to meet hers.

"What if..." He started, then swallowed. Licked his lips. His thumb brushed against her hand again. "What if I've changed? What if I'm not the man you think you know anymore. Ten years... that's a long time, Kathryn."

"I suppose that's true," she conceded just as quietly, a part of her utterly distracted by his touch. "In fact I'd say there's a pretty good chance we've both changed. It's been five years for me but it felt..." She frowned at the thought. "Not having you around made it feel like an eternity." She lifted her eyes to his again and held his gaze. "My point is we have the opportunity to find out, and work through it, together." She gave his hand a squeeze to really bring her point home. "That's a second chance I don't want to let slip through my fingers, Chakotay. It's too important. You're too important."

He nodded, accepting her words. He pulled on their joined hands to gather them against his chest, shifting their fingers until he could cradle her hand within his own, tugging it against his chest. Then he licked his lips again, brows knitting together. "And what if there are things you learn about me, and find you don't like...?"

She knew he was serious, but she couldn't help it, she smirked, lifting an eyebrow. "You mean things like you squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle rather than the bottom?" She drawled jokingly. "I'd show you how to do it right and move on from there."

He scoffed, one corner of his mouth tugging upward even as he shook his head at her in amusement and his hold on her hand tightened affectionately. "Is there such a thing as a right way of doing that?" He shook his head again. "I'm talking about more serious stuff. Decisions I've made I'm not particularly proud of."

She softened her expression. Of course she knew this was what he'd meant. She stepped a little closer, shifting her hand in his so she could lay it flat over his heart."You're one of the few people who's seen me at my best and at my worst, Chakotay. And you've stood by me through it all. What on Earth makes you think I wouldn't do the same?"

He stared at her openly, then huffed out an amazed smile that knitted his brows together, moving his head back a little to look at her in puzzled wonder, his eyes searching hers. "You really would, wouldn't you?"

She slanted her lips. "Watch me," she replied challengingly and his eyes seemed to shine brighter in response. "This is our chance to get it right, our reality, and I'm not going to let it-"

She never got to finish because in the next instant there was a blur of movement, a flash of dark eyes, then his hands had somehow found their way to cup her cheeks and his mouth was on hers, his body so close her hand was now trapped between their chests. Her eyes closed reflexively and she hummed against his mouth, leaning into him, because the simple – yet incredible – contact of his lips against hers and his sudden nearness were intoxicating and everything and yet not nearly enough. Time stood still for three glorious seconds while they relaxed into the kiss, until he pulled back, just far enough to break the contact of their lip and meet her eyes. Chest heaving, his fingers caressing her cheek and his shallow breaths warm against her chin, he touched his forehead to hers as one of his hands moved to curl around her waist, then slid around her back, the warmth of his touch heady through the layers of her uniform. Breathing hard, she lifted her hand from his chest to touch his chin with her fingertips. He shivered at the contact, eyes closing in pleasure. His fingers shifted from her cheek to caress a strand of her hair between his fingers, as though feeling its softness.

A choked sound escaped her and then she was kissing him, hungrily and with all the pent up passion and love she'd accumulated over the years, using both her hands around the back of his neck to pull him down to her, never getting enough of him. She pulled him closer and as she frantically kissed every part of him her mouth could reach – his lips, his cheek, his chin, his brow, his eyelids – while his arms folded around her and he buried his head into her neck, lips grazing skin wherever he found it – the underside of her jaw, the shell of her ear, her cheek, that part of her neck barely visible above her collar. She circled her arms around his neck and held him closer with her hands in his hair until they were fully embracing, hugging and kissing in turn, and when she felt his muffled laughter ripple through her own chest she laughed with him, pulling his head back with both hands on the side of his head to meet his eyes again and returned her mouth to his. After a few more passionate strokes of their lips, her hand came up to caress his cheek and they slowed the pace, until eventually they pulled back with a few lingering brushes of their lips.

His eyes were alight with joy and desire when his gaze met hers, still holding her close and his face so near she could see the all the beautiful shades of brown and gold in his irises. He smiled, tightening his arm around her back briefly. "Well, that was..." He cleared his throat.

"Different?" She offered wryly, breathlessly, arching an eyebrow, raking her fingers through his hair.

He chuckled and the sound was so spontaneous and heartfelt, it warmed her heart. "To think that all this time I was scared that I'd changed too much, not realizing change could feel this good..." He nuzzled her face teasingly and she grinned.

After a moment he took a step back and they reluctantly disentangled themselves, though she couldn't resist letting her hands linger on his chest and arm, while his reluctantly slid away from her back.

"As much as I hate the thought of it, I should go," he sighed. "I better get some sleep lest the Doctor threatens to keep me under observation."

She desperately wanted him to stay, but she also knew he was right. He deserved a good night's sleep – they both did. So she nodded, patting his chest before pulling back her hand. "Meet for breakfast in the mess hall in the morning?"

He gave a nod. "I have an appointment with Noum at 800. Meet at 700?"

His psych eval. Of course. The one that would officially return him to duty, or not. She'd almost forgotten. She nodded."700 it is, then. I've freed up some quarters for you on deck 4. Unless you'd rather go back to your quarters on the Protostar?"

"Deck 4 sounds good. I don't think I'd make it all the way to my quarters at this point," he added with a tired chuckle.

She smiled, nudging her chin in the direction of the door. "You better go then, or the Doctor will have my head for keeping you on your feet so late."

He nodded again, but stayed where he was, watching her silently as though caught in her gaze. She decided to make it easy for him (though she couldn't refrain from smirking in satisfaction) and moved to lead him toward the door. He followed, and when the door opened and he stepped out into the corridor, he turned to her, smiling. "Sweet dreams, Kathryn."

She reached out to touch his arm, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "You know, they actually might be tonight, for the first time in years."

His smile matched hers. "I know what you mean."

She nodded, giving his arm one last squeeze. "Sleep well, Chakotay. I'll see you in the morning."

ooOoo

As soon as he stepped inside his assigned quarters on deck 4, Chakotay removed his uniform jacket, his shoes, then forced himself to brush his teeth (chuckling to himself when he found himself squeezing the paste out of the tube from the bottom rather than the middle) before he dropped himself on the mattress, still pretty much fully dressed. Despite the thrill he felt in his gut from everything that had just happened, the anticipation of what would come next and the tug of lingering desire, sleep beckoned him. He knew she would have allowed him to stay with her if he'd asked - and he'd so wanted to ask – but he knew her too well (even after all these years apart, it seemed) not to notice that she was just as exhausted as he was. The beauty of it all – of being home at last – was that she would still be here in the morning, and they could pick up where they'd left off, and move forward together.

The thought comforted him to no end and his eyes closed again, but he forced himself to remain awake for a moment longer, because there was one more thing he needed to do first. "Computer, has the Protostar been cleared for intership communications yet?"

There was a second's delay, and then, "Affirmative. It is now safe to open a channel with the USS Protostar."

"Hail the Protostar's Training Hologram, audio only."

A second later her voice reached his ear. "Captain?"

"Far be it from me to give you more gloating material than you already have, but... I just wanted to say... you were right. About her. About everything."

"Ah," he could almost hear her pleased smile. "It went well, then?"

He grinned to himself. That was an understatement. "Yes. It went really well. Thank you."

"Good. Remember, that's three favors you owe me, Captain."

Chakotay scoffed in amusement. "Didn't you say you weren't counting?"

"I lied."

Chakotay chuckled. "Alright then. I'll make it up to you."

"Good night, Captain."

He yawned, closing his eyes again, letting his breathing, his muscles, and his thoughts settle at last.

And just when he was starting to succumb to sleep, there was a quiet but quick rap at the door.

Chakotay's eyes flew open, strained his ears. Had he imagined it? But then it came again.

Tap tap tap.

Well, sleep be damned.

He grinned, rolling over until his feet reached the floor and he rubbed his eyes as he padded his way to the door, a flurry of anticipation in his stomach. Because there was only one person who could be standing on the other side of that door. Only one person he wanted to be on the other side of that door.

And so there she was.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway.

She stood with her hands clasped behind her back in a perfect Starfleet posture, but her hair was still a little ruffled from his fingers earlier and the look in her eyes... Chakotay's heart gave a powerful squeeze. Because there was hope and determination there but also a hint of uncertainty, and it tugged at his heartstrings. "I hope you don't mind, but I've decided that if you're going to be under anyone's observation, it should be mine, not the Doctor's," she declared by way of greeting. Yet, despite the tone, despite her admiral's mask, despite the mischievous smile, her voice shook a little. And suddenly he knew exactly why she'd come to him even after they'd agreed to meet in the morning. Not for a night of passion (though he of course didn't dismiss the thought completely), but for the same reason he wanted to gather her in his arms again and never let go.

So he chuckled quietly in response to her opening quip, then stepped aside in silent invitation. "A far more agreeable prospect, I agree," he replied in the same tone.

She smiled and stepped inside, taking in the impersonal quarters with a glance as he closed the door behind her. But then she turned to face him and her mask seemed to fall until she wasn't Admiral Janeway anymore but Kathryn – beautiful, real, exhausted and... vulnerable. Magnificent. She swallowed. "Actually, I came here because..." She stopped herself, frowned. "Chakotay, would you..." She stopped herself again, her frustration obvious and incredibly endearing. Who would have known that the formidable Kathryn Janeway could get tongue-tied?

Because he'd already guessed what she meant to say, what it was she wanted to ask, Chakotay smiled softly, curling his hand around her shoulder in a warm caress. "Come on. Let's get some sleep."

Her shoulders sagged in relief that he understood and she smiled gratefully. But as he started making his way back to the bedroom, making sure she was following with a quick glance over his shoulder, her more typical mischievous expression was back and she smirked at him. "I call shotgun on the right side of the bed."

He chuckled. "We'll flip for it."

And when his hand sought and found hers, her fingers curled around his. And didn't let go.

The end

I hope you enjoyed!

There's still a lot I could have unpacked there, but I hope this was a satisfying, yet somewhat realistic resolution between those two for now! I'd love to keep adding to this story and delving deeper into what Chakotay went through on Ysida (and his developing romance with Kathryn, of course). I'll see what my muse has to say about that! For now, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to drop me a line if you did! I'm always happy to hear from you!