4

Awakening

Chishiya

Chishiya couldn't quite decipher the reasons behind his decision, couldn't explain why he'd felt compelled to help Niragi. Maybe seeing him break that way last night reminded him of himself, reminded him how he'd desperately needed someone, anyone. But he'd never had that luxury. After his mothers death he'd been alone, an orphan. He'd learned to live with the loneliness, even found comfort in it now. Maybe he helped Niragi because he didn't want to feel alone anymore, because he saw how similar they really were. Or perhaps it was the guilt that made him do it. The guilt he carried with him everywhere. That too Chishiya had learned to live with. Yet lately that guilt pushed to rise to the surface more than ever. The only explanation he had though was the fact they all faced death everyday here. Chishiya had faced death many times in the real world. But never his own. He had gambled away so many lives, young ones too. Lives that hadn't really lived yet. He'd accepted those bribes and never breathed a word to anyone. The first few families he'd had to explain himself to, tell them their son or daughter had been moved back a spot on the list, had presented him with somewhat of a challenge. But he'd soon forced himself to abandon the last flicker of hope, forced his heart into an irreversibly cold and dead existence. Chishiya almost laughed at the irony. He'd been a heart surgeon back in the real world. Yet he'd let his own heart wither away. And for what? For money? The memory pained him but he wouldn't run from it. His mother had died because they were poor. Too poor to afford her medication keeping her alive. That's why Chishiya had accepted the bribes he convinced himself. For her. For himself. So he'd never have to make the choice between putting food on the table or getting to live another day. He blamed himself for her death, and he knew he'd never come to terms with it. If only he had acted, if only he hadn't been such a dreamer and applied his intelligence, realised he should be helping her, earning money somehow. He'd dreamed of becoming an artist, wanted to draw and paint and create. But that dream perished along with his mother. So he'd studied medicine in the hope of saving lives, in honour of his mothers memory, believing his ignorant mistake was in some way redeemable. And what had he done with that? He'd sentenced so many to death because they were poor. Because someone else could afford to buy themselves a functioning heart. Chishiya may as well have spat on his mothers grave. She would despise him were she still among the living. She would loathe what he'd become. Hell. He loathed what he'd become.

He released a short sigh. Dwelling on it wouldn't change his past. Nothing would. But he still owned a chance at shaping his future. And maybe aiding Niragi today was that first step he needed to take. On the other hand, part of his willingness to help Niragi may have stemmed from the selflessness he had witnessed at his game last night. Those kids, what were their names again? Arisu and Karube? Yes, that sounded about right. Who had risked their own lives to save others, who attempted to get everyone to band together and help each other out. It was a noble approach, Chishiya supposed. But it had made him realise that he was jealous. Jealous of their kindness, their empathy, their hope and their willingness to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. No. He was a selfish narcissist. The question was, had he always been that way? Or had his guilt, his regret, his past twisted him into what he'd come to despise so much?

Chishiya observed the commotion down below, elbows leaning on the balustrade several stories higher. Most of the executives and the military corps were gathered atop the stairs of the great entry hall, looking down at the members of the beach, ready for tonight's games. He watched Kuzuryu and Mira discuss something, their heads bowed slightly. By the looks of it they were disagreeing about something. Kuzuryu was Hatter's right hand and the Beach's number three. He was a middle aged man who rarely spoke. He certainly had lots to say tonight though, Chishiya noted. Mira beside him looked anything but happy, yet that didn't necessarily have to mean anything. Chishiya had quickly figured out that Mira's theatrical persona was so much more cunning than she let on. She enjoyed manipulating others, enjoyed putting on an act. She was the type of person who would bury a knife in your gut and gaze at you as if you were lovers.

Cheering erupted as Hatter joined the executives and militant corps at the top of the stairs. He lifted his hands, palms facing up and the gathered crowd went silent, waiting expectantly. Chishiya scanned each and every face. Where was Niragi? He never missed an opportunity to boast with his gun and kiss Aguni's ass in public. Besides, didn't he want to know which players were to compete alongside him tonight?

Chishiya caught a glimpse of movement in the corner of his eye. Yet he kept his attention on Hatter and the crowd below.

"I miss anything?" a deep voice enquired.

This time Chishiya looked up. Niragi was leaning on the balustrade a few feet away, his eyes gliding over the gathered crowd.

Chishiya turned his gaze back toward the people below. "No. You're right on time."

Hatter then cleared his throat, "My friends, tonight we shall face new challenges. Each challenge we face as individuals brings us closer together. For together we will collect all the cards, together we will return to our old world. I know that you will get there!" The crowd cheered a they sorted into their groups and slowly cleared the hall, heading off to tonight's game arenas.

Once the silence had set back in and only the executives and militant corps occupied the room, Hatter paired them into groups and assigned them game arenas.

"An and Kuina to Koto. Last Boss and Aguni to Shinjuku."

Hatter continued reciting his list of pairings, "and finally Chishiya and Niragi to Minato."

Chishiya could almost feel Niragi's eyes burning a hole into the side of his skull as he counted the seconds that passed.

The edges of Chishiya's mouth quirked up slightly, "Well,well. I think this one will be interesting." Niragi didn't answer.

"We should probably get going," Chishiya let out a small breath and pushed off the balustrade heading toward the stairs. He counted his steps. He bet it would take Niragi less than five steps before he made his move.

He'd guessed right. Chishiya had counted four steps when Niragi seized hold of his shoulder and whirled him around.

"Do you seriously think I don't know what you're trying to do?" Niragi hissed.

Chishiya had to tilt his head back to meet Niragi's furious stare. He witnessed the rage burning in his black eyes like a firestorm. They stood so close Chishiya could feel Niragi's ragged breath on him.

Chishiya regarded him calmly for a moment, taking his time to answer, "Please do enlighten me," he finally mused.

That unleashed something in Niragi. He buried his fists in Chishiya's hoodie and pulled him closer. Chishiya held his furious glare, his mask of boredom so familiar it didn't falter in the slightest.

"You're trying to get under my skin, trying to make me believe there might be the slightest chance that I can trust you. You want me to let my guard down so you can take me out when the time is right. You've likely even planned to do it tonight, which is why you've convinced Hatter to pair us up. I'm flattered someone as intelligent as you views me as an actual threat. But I'm telling you now, I won't fall for it." Chishiya observed the accelerating rhythm of Niragi's pulse at his throat. They were so close he could smell his cologne. He was pretty sure he could make out the scent of bergamot and... black plum perhaps? Something expensive no doubt.

Someone cleared their throat, "when you two are done flirting with each other can you please take the fucking gun and head to your game cause I really don't want to watch you two tearing the clothes off each other."

Niragi's head snapped to attention and he shoved Chishiya away so hard he stumbled. Aguni was standing at the end of the hall holding Niragi's gun in one hand. He was aware he'd struck a cord with that comment.

Chishiya quickly caught himself before he could fall and straightened. Niragi was stalking toward Aguni, shoulders tense. "Now we can't even have some fun around here anymore?" Niragi arched his pierced brow and bit his now smirking lip.

Chishiya watched as Niragi's mask snapped back into place. His response had been clever. Had he tried to deny that they were flirting - which most certainly hadn't been the case, Chishiya told himself - would have exposed a weakness, would have shown his insecurity. But by embracing it the insult just ricocheted.

Aguni shoved the gun in Niragi's face, "just go or you'll be late." And with that Aguni took his leave.

Chishiya remained silent as he watched Niragi, who now slung his gun over his shoulder. Had he just glimpsed another secret in Niragi's eyes, just before he hid behind his mask? He was sure of it. It intrigued him, stirred his curiosity. There was something in uncovering those secrets that made Chishiya feel alive. And he hadn't felt alive in a bloody long time.