10

Tribulation

Niragi

Niragi lingered by the bar downing drink after drink, his back turned towards the partying crowd. He hadn't even bothered counting. He'd ordered tonight's bartender to keep the drinks coming and threatened to put a bullet in his head if there wasn't at least one full glass in front of him at all times. So far so good, he'd kept them coming, changed it up a bit. Niragi didn't care what was put in front of him as long as it got him drunk enough to forget who he was.

Except his mind didn't stop, didn't stop picturing the moment Chishiya had appeared on those stairs, couldn't stop picturing those irritatingly condescending eyes. He hadn't been able to read Chishiya's expression one bit. Bloody hell did Chishiya's unfaltering poker face piss him off.

Fuck Chishiya, he thought. What do you care what he thinks? He was probably watching him from his spot on the rooftop.

Creep.

Niragi bounced his leg up and down with nervous energy. The alcohol wasn't helping. He needed to come up with something else to distract himself and stop the spiral of ravaging thoughts.

Fate must've read his mind in that moment as someone filled the empty seat beside him. "Hey," a female voice rang. Niragi looked to his right with a frown. A young woman in a black and gold bikini now sat on the stool beside him.

"I'm Maiko," she beamed at him. Niragi hadn't seen her before. She was pretty he supposed, not that it mattered much to him.

Niragi's frown deepened. Either she was new and no one had told her to steer clear of him or she had a death wish.

"You must be new here," he almost stumbled over his own words. Yep, he certainly felt the alcohol.

Maiko nodded and her round, dark eyes slowly examined him from top to bottom. "You looked kinda lonely," she shrugged one shoulder, then coyly lowered her eyes. "So I thought I'd come over and ask if you'd like to dance." She looked up at him, biting the corner of her lip.

She was flirting with him and hadn't a single clue who he was, what he was, he realised. She would be an easy target for him, to use and abuse and feed the dark instincts slowly taking control of his rational thinking.

Niragi regarded her for a moment, slowly running his gaze over the entirety of her body. He felt no attraction but she'd still be a welcome distraction. He felt that urge he'd felt on the stairs with Kuina before. He'd fought it then, but this time he let it wash over him, consume him. His predatory gaze met hers and a feline grin carved his lips. "Lead the way," he purred.

Maiko beamed excitedly, rose to her feet and grasped his right hand. He allowed it.

"I didn't catch your name," Maiko batted her eyelids at him with a smirk.

"Niragi," he hummed, towering over her as he stood. Without breaking eye contact he snapped his finger at the bartender. "Look after my gun for me. Something happens to it..." he paused not wanting to spook Maiko when he already had his claws on her. "You know the drill," he finished his orders.

"After you," Niragi motioned towards the dance floor with one hand, a wild glint in his eye.

Maiko shot him a lascivious look before leading him through the swaying crowd as it swallowed them. Her hand felt warm in his, soft, alive. Then she stopped and whirled around facing him, guiding his hand to rest at her waist as she began moving to the music, her bare skin like velvet under his callused fingers.

Niragi's hands followed the sway of her hips to the beat of the music. A primal hunger simmered in his eyes, but not a hunger for sex. No, he couldn't have cared less about sex. A hunger for dominance, power, pain, revenge. He longed, no, craved to inflict all the pain he'd endured over the years on her, hell, on everyone. To get revenge. Revenge for what the whole world had done to him, had turned him into, by simply looking away. Revenge. He craved for it like a starved animal craved for it's next meal. Yet something whispered, clawed at the edge of his awareness, begged him to stop this madness.

Niragi shoved the protesting voice, the voice of reason, of the shy boy he once was, aside and locked him away in that terrifying space that housed the memories of his past.

The world around him began to tilt, as the alcohol hit him and invited him to fully surrender to his animalistic instincts. So he did. Whatever humanity Niragi had possessed, he now buried somewhere deep inside, hopefully never to be found again.

Maiko rested her hands on his chest as she continued her sensual dance. She was an excellent dancer, he noted. She ground her hips against him and bit her lip with a dirty smirk. He took that as an invitation to run his hands over her body, exploring her soft curves, the smoothness of her skin.

When she twirled around, swaying to the music, her back turned to him, Niragi brought both his arms over her shoulders and hugged her to his chest, one hand resting on her bare stomach, the other at her throat.

Maiko leaned into him and they both moved as one, following the rhythm of the music, feeling the beat of the drums vibrate through their bodies.

Niragi softly brushed his lips against the cool skin of her shoulder. It had exactly the effect he'd intended. She pressed herself against him harder, grinding up against him provocatively.

He planted a kiss on her neck, behind her ear, then another a little further down, and continued, slowly making his way back to her shoulder. Maiko shuddered in his arms and Niragi only grinned wickedly. Almost there, he thought as he toyed with her, with his prey. Then he licked her, ran his pierced tongue all the way across her shoulder, up her neck, until he reached the spot behind her ear, where he stopped. His lips hovering just behind her ear he purred, " how about we take this somewhere more... private?"

Maiko whirled around in his arms and intertwined her hands behind his neck, arms resting on his shoulders. Lustful, dark eyes met his.

Got you.

One hand he rested at the small of her back, the other he cupped behind her ear, his thumb softly caressing her cheek. Niragi swallowed the disgust rising from the pit of his stomach knowing what came next. He didn't want to kiss her, or any woman for that matter, ever. The only woman he'd known in his life had hated his guts.

But if kissing this girl was the price he had to pay to get what he wanted, to get his revenge then he'd gladly pay up.

Just imagine it's someone else.

Maiko slowly leaned in and Niragi closed the distance. He closed his eyes and before he knew it their lips met in a kiss. Soft, gentle at first.

Imagine someone else, he urged himself. Maiko parted her lips, inviting him in.

But who? His grip on her tightened as he flicked his tongue into her mouth, explored every corner of it. Maiko let out a soft gasp, and he felt her body shiver against him.

Before his minds eye he suddenly pictured Chishiya and startled. What? No. Anyone but him, he scolded himself. After tonights revelations and the way Chishiya had reacted upon learning his secrets, he was the last person he wanted to imagine hurting.

But it was already too late. The door in his mind flew open and the dreaded voice of reason came marching through, forcing him to snap out of his automated trance.

Niragi stilled and Maiko, upon noticing something being wrong, pulled back and glanced up at him with a questioning look.

His blood froze in his veins with dread. What the hell are you doing? He had to get away, needed space, needed air. He stared at Maiko with wide, horrified eyes.

Move idiot! He kicked himself into gear.

Maiko had just been about to ask him what was wrong when he tore himself away from her and dove into the crowd.

Niragi shoved people out of his way as he scrambled to get out of the moving mass of bodies. He couldn't breathe, felt like an invisible force was squeezing his airways shut. He didn't even register the splash of cold water droplets kissing his neck, when he accidentally pushed someone into the pool in his desperate attempt to flee.

He stumbled through the entry clawing at his collar as he hurried up the stairs to the ninth floor. The last thing he needed was to be trapped inside the metal box, that was the elevator. He felt his heart hammering in his throat, heard his blood rushing in his ears, turned the corner to his corridor and froze.

"Where's your friend?" Leaning against the door to his room, stood Chishiya, as always hands casually tucked into his pockets.

Niragi gaped at him, before something else caught his attention. Was that his..?

"Oh right. I thought you might forget this." Chishiya grabbed Niragi's gun resting against the wall beside him. "That kid might be good at mixing drinks but looking after guns certainly isn't his strong suit," Chishiya continued.

Niragi struggled for words, tried to say something but his mind was practically fried.

Chishiya's deadpan gaze softened, as he nodded once in understanding, pushed off the wall and calmly closed the distance between them. He halted two feet in front of Niragi, head tilted up at him with a furrowed brow. "You're having a panic attack. Deep breaths. It will pass."

Niragi noticed the compassion in his voice which allowed him to break free from his stasis and finally managed to ask, "what are you doing here?"

"Let's just say, I had a feeling," Chishiya offered.

"That's it? Fuck..." Niragi rested one hand on top of his hair and closed his eyes for a second, trying to collect himself. "I don't have the patience to deal with your cryptic bullshit right now," he snarled, shooting him a wounded glance before pushing past him to his door.

"I know it wasn't you who wanted to hurt that girl." Chishiya's voice was firm yet carried an apologetic note.

Niragi paused, his hand resting on the door handle to his room and took a deep breath. "And how the hell would you know?" He turned around and glared at Chishiya. He couldn't hide the sorrow that swung in his voice with his next words. "How the fuck would you know what it's like to be trapped inside my head!? To wake up everyday wondering if theymade me into this... this abomination..." he closed his eyes for a moment and tilted his head forward, shaking it, before his pained eyes shifted back to Chishiya. "Or if I've always been this way," he finally breathed, and grimaced at the possibility.

Chishiya remained where he stood, swallowing hard before answering, "because I ask myself the same thing every single day. I constantly dissociate, just like you. Force myself not to feel... anything. Every day I wish I could forget, forgive. Myself most of all. Just like you." His voice broke and he had to clear his throat before continuing. "So. Yeah. I know exactly what it's like. To wonder whether my circumstances formed me into who I am. Or if that darkness was already there all along."

"Fuck," Niragi breathed distraught, unsure what else to say.

Chishiya stepped closer. "There is one thing I don't know though."

Niragi glared down at him with haunted eyes. "What's that?"

"What snapped you out of it?"

Niragi thought his heart might give out at that question, as he remembered the moment that brought him back to reality. Chishiya's curious gaze became troubled as he witnessed Niragi's distress. He'd find out anyway, Niragi thought. So he might as well tell him.

Niragi sighed heavily trying to control his shaking. His voice trembled when he uttered, "you did. Kind of."

And for the first time it was Chishiya that now stared up at Niragi in surprise, at a loss for words.