Love Beats

by GryffindorJedi1

This is a re-telling of Glee, how I think it should've been. Yes, I know it's all the same material from the original show, but the way I write it is only gonna get a bit more different. It'll be way better than the original. Also, if you wonder why I made Shelby Rachel's sister, it's because Idina Menzel kept saying how uncomfortable she was being her mother. Age difference wise.

5. Special Education

Chapter 5

Special Education

The crowd was cheering outside. Finn nodded, "All right. I just want to take a minute to tell you guys how proud of you I am. We didn't even have to win this game to go to the championship next week, but nobody took it off. And when we take a knee, we're gonna finish first for the first time in McKinley history."

Puck announced, "Football is back, bitches!"

"Yeah!"

Karofsky said, "Maybe we should all break out in song after we win."

Finn said defensively, "Hey, shut it, Karofsky."

"Figured if I stay, you'd just run away like your butt buddy Hummel."

"You know, it's funny, Karofsky, how you're always calling everyone gay all the time, but you never seem to have a girlfriend."

Karofsky was about to attack him, but Azimio and another guy stopped him.

The other team clapped, ready for the final play.

Finn said, "All right. Ready, break!" They all clap.

Beiste said, "Come on, boys, let's go."

The other quarterback growled like a panther.

Finn shouted, "Hut!" But the curly-haired idiot fumbled the ball. The other team scored, the crown groaned and Brittany threw her pom-pom down on the ground. Beiste flipped the table over in anger. Finn groaned.

In the locker room, Beiste slammed her binder on the stool in frustration. "What a joke. What the hell happened?! Finn, you're the captain! Talk!"

"The other guys suck! That's what happened! We're in Glee Club and you're always getting down on us for it! So what?!"

"Getting all hot and bothered about singing Ke$ha? It's freaking weird."

Puck stood up, "Yeah, well, maybe you'll feel different about it when I go all Tik Tok on your face."

Karofsky said, "Bring it, Puckerman. Championship game or not, I am not siding with him."

Beiste shouted, "Good! Get the hell out of here! Bunch of good-for-nothing slugs!"

In the choir room, Mike was helping Tina with her kicks.

Tina said, "Really fast. Oh, my God, Artie." Artie rolled in with red Slush on him. Santana was stunned and Brittany stood up. Artie said, "It was awful."

Finn said, "That's it. Screw rehearsal. This ends here and now."

Puck declared, "We're gonna go all Thunder-dome on those guys."

The idiot football players walked in and Sam said, "Put up your fists because you and I are gonna do some dancing."

Finn said, "I got this, Sam."

Beiste said, "Watch it. Everyone, have a seat."

Will said, "You too, guys." Rachel sat down. "All right, New Directions, say hello to the newest members of Glee."

Everyone was pissed. "What?!"

Mercedes shouted, "Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Shue!"

Finn asked, "Mr. Shue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer!"

Rachel added, "And there is no way that I'm sharing the choir room with known homophobes."

Will said, "I don't disagree with you. But Beiste and I talked, and we both agreed that the kind of bullying that these guys do is born out of ignorance." Lauren shook her head and glared at them. Puck looked ticked off. Will continued, "Having them here, as difficult as it may be, is an opportunity to show them that being a singer is kinda cool. Find some common ground."

Beiste said, "All of you are gonna be in this club for one week. No exceptions."

Karofsky spewed, "Next week is the championship game. Without us, she has no team."

Beiste responded, "With you, I have no team. You guys have gotta find a way to come together or we're gonna get our asses kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddlebag full of buckwheat!" Lauren looked confused.

Azimio spewed, "If I have to stay, I'm not singing no show tunes."

Claire said, "Do you even have any idea what we do in here?"

Will said, "No. None of them do. We have to show them. Claire, Henry, haven't you been working on a song?"

Claire said, "Fine. As offended we are by their presence here," (They all are.) Henry took off his jacket and stepped down. The look on Finn's face.

Henry picked up a guitar and he and Claire started to sing, "Feel The Song" by Jason Munday and Kristina Horner, from that album, "Skyway Flyer." Rachel smiled at them. One of the football players really seemed into it. Karofsky tapped him. Will nodded. Beiste nodded to the beat. Applause and cheering was met after the song ended. Azimio spewed again, "The dude with the glasses had a really nice voice."

Claire said, "Better than yours." The others said, "Ooh!"

Henry took off the guitar and ran to Azimio with it. Everybody stood up and shouted.

Will said, "Great first day, right?"

Beiste said, "Awesome."

Outside, Sue bought a big cannon. One of those like they use in most circuses. "Becky?" Becky slammed a champagne bottle on the side. "Brittany, congratulations. You get to be my first test subject."

Brittany said, "I don't want to die yet. At least not until One Tree Hill gets cancelled."

"Fine. Put your toddler-fist sized mind at rest." Two other cheerleaders walk with a female mannequin and they test out the cannon. It did not go well. "Any of you take German?"

Brittany picked up the doll's head. Quinn told her, "Don't worry. I'm gonna talk to Mr. Shue about this."

In Figgins' office, he said, "Sue, what the hell are you thinking? You cannot perform a stunt that dangerous. Out insurance premium is through the roof as it is!"

Sue said, "Cheerleading is a sport."

Will said, "Enough, Sue. There's no reason for putting a student's life at risk."

"I am a tastemaker, Will. I need this. This level of risk and danger makes me feel alive again."

Figgins said, "But the risk and danger aren't to you."

"That's the best part."

"Enough. It's decided. You are not allowed to fire anyone out of that cannon without their consent."

Sue left the office in a fit of rage.

Figgins shouted, "It's coming out of your paycheck! Every penny of it!"

In the choir room, Will suggested for halftime, they perform Michael Jackson's Thriller with Yeah-Yeah-Yeah's Heads Will Roll. Azimio asked, "Who are Yeah-Yeah-Yeah?"

Then the next day, in the auditorium, Will said, "Five, six, seven, eight!" The piano played. Everyone was trying to dance and move like zombies. The whistle blew. Will said, "Come on, guys, you're not even trying. Put some life into it."

Kaofsky said, "But we're supposed to be undead."

"Then put some afterlife into it." Mike groaned while putting his hand under his chin. Artie put his hand next to his face and tilted his head.

They were all starting to get the hang of it.

Will said, "Nice progress, guys. Let's take a breather and I'll see you in the choir room for a lesson in zombie makeup."

Azimio said, "Makeup? No, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Beiste said, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

Everyone was applying their zombie makeup.

Karofsky said, "Can we talk?"

Finn said, "Can we not fight for one day? Man, it's hard enough for me to not kick you in the nuts every time I see you."

"You think maybe we should do a warmup number before the halftime show? I figure the only way I'm gonna keep my street cred at this school after dancing around like an idiot is if we kick ass at it."

"Uh…yeah, that's actually not a bad idea."

In the girls' room, Brittany said, "Zombie camp was a lot better than I expected. It was like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow."

Quinn asked, "What are we gonna do? If we join the Cheerios competition, we'll miss halftime and we're out of glee. I'm torn."

Santana said, "I'm not."

Brittany said, "I'm Brittany."

The next day, the football players were performing "She's Not There."

Will said, "Guys…awesome!"

In the hallway, everyone was stunned by their looks. Then the hockey players slimed up and Rick "The Stick" Nelson said, "Appropriate outfits. They represent the death of your guys' reign at this school."

Finn said, "When do we have to put you puck-heads in your place before you understand that football rules the school?"

Karofsky said, "Yeah, they're gonna think differently when they see it."

Nelson said, "Well, then get ready for the fireworks. It's Independence Day."

Artie rolled backwards and they all got Slushed. "Aah!"

In the locker room, Karofsky was rinsing his eyes. "It burns!"

Finn said, "Just relax. It stops after a few hours."

"Look, I don't need this. I'm out of here."

Beiste said, "You look more like a team now than you ever have out on that field."

"I don't care."

"Then you're off the team."

"You won't have enough members for the championship game."

"Try me."

Finn said, "Don't do this. If we win the game, we'll be kings of this place."

The others wouldn't go for it. Idiots.

In the Lima Bean, Rachel, Mercedes and Claire were having coffee with Kurt and Blaine. Kurt said, "Medium drip."

Blaine said, "Thank you."

Mercedes said, "Two rival show choirs having coffee together? We can't even keep our football team in check."

Rachel said, "It's so sad, guys. Coach and Mr Shue were so close of keeping everyone together."

Claire said, "I still can't believe Anne Marie hasn't talked to me about this yet. I mean, I bring her a bowl of sour cream and onion Pringles almost every day just so we could talk."

Blaine said, "Sour cream and onion? Really?"

"They're a classic flavor."

Rachel raised her eyebrows and Mercedes nodded.

Rachel said, "Finn is trying to be strong, but I know it's killing him inside. I just wish there was a way we could help, that's all."

Mercedes said, "Yeah, and the worst part is how bummed the guys are. You can't play football with just six guys and one of them is in a wheelchair."

Blaine said, "Well, the good news is you actually needs four more guys."

Kurt said, "Blaine loves football. As you know, I love scarves."

Claire said, "This reminds me of that one episode of Teen Titans when they were playing football and Beast Boy ate two tofu hot dogs."

Mercedes said, "Oh, yeah, I think I saw it. Isn't that the one where Starfire was…drinking mustard?"

Kurt gagged. Blaine looked disgusted.

Rachel asked, "Hasn't Starfire ever heard of lemonade?"

In the school the next day, Beiste asked, "You're telling me not one of those guys want to play?"

In the choir room, Rachel, Mercedes and Tina all volunteered to play the game. Lauren respected them for it and joined too.

Sam asked, "Why can't we just let them back on just for this one game?"

Beiste said, "No. We carry this through, even if it means having to forfeit."

Finn said, "I can't believe this is it."

Rachel said, "Maybe it isn't." She stood up. "We want to join the team."

Artie asked, "We?"

Mercedes said, "All us glee girls." She and Tina also stood up.

Mike said, "Come on, guys. Stop screwing around."

Lauren said, "They're not. Women are perfectly capable of playing football. Don't forget who the wrestling state champion is."

Will asked, "Rachel, have you ever actually seen a tackle game? When they tackle, it hurts."

Puck said, "Yeah, and not in the good way."

Rachel said, "We know that, but you don't really need us all to play. You just need enough members to fill a regulation team."

Claire said, "Oh, good, then that leaves me out." They looked at her. "What? I bruise easily."

Rachel said, "So, when they snap the ball, we're just gonna lay down there."

Lauren said, "Not me. I'm gonna bring the pain."

Will said, "What do your parents have to say?"

Tina said, "We all got written permission slips."

Will asked, "What do you think, Coach?"

Beiste said, "I think...welcome to the team."

Rachel shouted, "Yes!"

That night at the game, Rachel, Mercedes, Tina and Lauren all put on their uniforms and helmets. Azimio asked, "What the hell are they doing?"

Finn smiled, "What you don't have the balls to do."

Rachel said, "Let's kick some ass!"

Henry smiled. Lauren said to the other team, "You're gonna die."

The game got off to a rocky start. Three times they hutted the ball, and every time Rachel got down on the ground. The next time, Tina picked up the ball and ran a few steps. She fell down. Mike and the others ran to her aid. Luckily, she wasn't seriously hurt. She asked, "Did we win?" The crows clapped and cheered.

Finn said, "Henry." He ran to him. "I need you to take my place as quarter back for a few minutes."

"Okay."

Rachel asked, "Where are you going?"

"Can't have a halftime show without cheerleaders. Puck, I need you to convince Karofsky and the other guys to perform at halftime with us."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Figure it out." To Henry, he said, "This is your game now. Go get 'em." Henry smiled.

Finn ran to convince Quinn, Brittany and Santana to stay behind. He said, "You joined Cheerios to be popular, but you joined glee because you liked it. Sue doesn't care about you guys. She's fine with killing Brittany. What would you choose?"

Brittany said, "Glee club."

Finn said to Quinn, "I know you. You don't think you are, but you're strong enough to do this."

Quinn said, "Okay."

"What about you, Santana?"

"Screw her. She put me on the bottom of the pyramid."

Sue said, "No time for a foursome, ladies. Time to get on that bus."

Quinn said, "We quit Cheerios."

"You can't. It's blood in, blood out."

Santana said, "But we still quit."

"You're my stars. If you leave, I have no performance!"

Brittany said, "Sucks for you." Savage.

In the locker room, Puck walked in. Karofsky said, "Nice game, Puck."

"Look, I don't want to hear it from you, Karofsky. I don't want to hear it from any of you. You're all a bunch of cowards! Losers and idiots!"

Azimio said, "Oh, yeah? And what does that make you?"

"Look, this is it. You're all worried about being called geeks, nerds or gay that you settle for being nothing. This is something we can look back on and tell our children about."

Karofsky said, "Coach won't let us back on the team."

"She will if you perform at halftime."

Azimio said, "I'm in."

The other guy said, "Me too."

Karofsky said, "Well, I'm out."

Azimio said, "Come on, man, I really want to win this game."

Puck said, "Fine, Karofsky's out, whatever. But the rest of you need to get into gear and costume! Let's go, come on!" The others were all, "Yeah!"

Outside, everyone got into position to perform the halftime show. Karofsky eventually joined in. Everyone cheered and clapped.

Beiste said, "Hey, what are you all doing?"

Finn said, "Getting ready to take off this zombie makeup, Coach. It's kind of itchy."

"No, leave it on. We need all the help we can get. Now get back out there."

Puck asked, "All of us?"

"Yeah. All of us."

For the rest of the game, they were actually doing better. One of the other players said, "One of those zombies bit me!"

It was down to last moment. Karofsky said, "Ten seconds left. It's over."

Finn said, "Not if the quarterback fumbles the snap." Everyone nodded. "Here's what we're gonna do." Sam said, "Brains." The other players said, "Brains." The girls said, "Brains." Then the whole crowd starting chanting, "Brains! Brains! Brains!" The football fell, Henry picked it up and threw it. Finn grabbed it and ran, and the Titans won!

Sue got interviewed by Katie Couric. She was not at all happy about it.

In the Lima Bean, Shelby was about to reach for her wallet, but the cashier said, "Actually, your coffee has already been paid for."

"Really? Who by?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me his name. Handsome fella, though. Short black hair, charming personality, had a smile with teeth that look like veneers."

Shelby sighed smiling. "Jack." He gave her the coffee. "Thank you." She was about to head out. Some random man said, "So you have other people buying you coffee. You must be special."

Shelby chuckled. "Hey, I'm just trying to make it by in this town. Shelby Corcoran."

"Yeah. I know you. You're the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, right?"

"I used to be. Who wants to know?"

"Jeremy Trottman." They shake hands. "Listen, I have a proposition for you. Why don't you come over to my office for a chat?" He gives her his business card. "We can discuss something over lunch if you're interested."

"I'll be there."

Jack was looking out the window. He looked sad.

He was walking down the hallway in the next scene and every girl was fawning all over him. He smiled and Becky walked to him. She gave him a candy heart. "Hi, Jack Masterson. Be my Valentine?" He took it and said, "Uh, thanks, Becky." He later walked by and said, "Hi, Mercedes. Tina."

The girls said, in unison and breathlessly, "Hi, Jack." I'm telling you, if anyone can make Tina stutter for real, it's Jack Masterson.

Back in the Lima Bean, Kurt picked up a dog decoration and said, "Okay, I'm all for flair and everything, but some of these Valentine's Day decorations are just tacky. I mean, what is this supposed to be?"

Blaine said, "It's obviously puppy love. It's cute."

"Just a simple excuse to sell chocolates and greeting cards on a holiday."

"Not true. People have been celebrating Valentine's Day for centuries."

The origin of Valentine's Day dates back thousands of years when St. Valentine performed secret wedding ceremonies under death threats. So clearly not made up. People hate Halloween, but do they call it made up? No.

Blaine said, "A medium drip, a nonfat mocha latte for this guy, and maybe I can get him to split one of those Cupid cookies."

The woman said, "That'll be 8.40."

"Don't even bother. It's on me. Keep the change."

Kurt said, "I do believe I have a new favorite holiday, hm."

In the choir room, Will drew a heart around the word "love." "Okay, guys, I have one word for you." Brittany raised her hand. "Brittany."

"Is it love?" Very good, Brittany.

Will continued, "Valentine's Day is coming up. So, for this week's lesson, I want you all to pick a partner because you're gonna sing to them what you think is the world's greatest love song." Mercedes rolled her eyes and tilted her head back in annoyance. Yeah, you'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs, right? "Yeah, finding a song that communicates all that means to you. Now, partner up."

Finn raised his hand. "Mr. Shue, can I say something?"

"If you'd like."

"I just wanted to point out that an entire week has gone by without any one of us being Slushied." Applause was met at that. "I think the fact that we led the football team to a conference championship had something to do with it. The fact is that I'm the closest thing Glee Club has to a celebrity right now. I want to give to a charity, so I'm setting up a kissing booth." Rachel was stunned and surprised. "For a dollar a smooch," Finn went on, "and donating the proceeds to Glee to help us…"

Mercedes chimed in, "Don't even act like you're trying to help this club out. You just want to kiss a bunch of girls."

Santana spoke up, "You know, I've kissed Finn, and can I just say? Not worth a buck. But I would pay 100 just to just to jiggle one of his man boobs."

Claire said, annoyed, "Do you ever get tired of tearing other people down? 'Cause you always seem to be meddling in other people's business and get a kick out of it."

"Oh, please. I keep it real and I'm hilarious."

Lauren stated, "Actually, you don't and you're not."

Quinn said, "And Claire is right, all you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby."

Tina stated, "Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Shue should go to a 12-step program." Mike nodded and Will asked, "Wait, what?"

Santana replied, "You're addicted to vests."

Rachel declared, "The thing is, Santana, you can dish it out all you want, but you can't handle it. Okay, maybe you're right, I am destined to play the lead in a Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you'll ever have is working on a pole." Well said, Rachel! The look on the others' faces, especially's Puck's…

Santana stood up, "Fine." The bell rang and then the bitch started crying. Brittany comforted her, "Maybe try rocking back and forth, people do that in movies." These two are pathetic.

In the teacher's lounge, Shelby walked in and said, "Hey, Jack."

Jack was startled for a second. "Ah. Hi, Shelby."

"Thank you for the coffee. I owe you one."

"You know about that? Uh, you're welcome."

Shelby asked, "Hey, you want to have lunch with me and Rachel tomorrow?"

Jack smiled, "Uh, yeah, that'd be great."

"Awesome. I'll see you later." She walked.

Jack's older brother Justin is introduced. He walked into the room and said to him, "Dude, that's Shelby Corcoran. She used to coach Vocal Adrenaline. Why are you so hung up on her?"

Jack said, "There's just something about her."

Justin Masterson was a very built, sophisticated man. He had blond hair, blue eyes and a cleft in his chin. Basically like Oliver Queen, or his alter ego, Green Arrow.

Rachel's voiceover said, "Okay, this is it. I'm gonna ask Jack to be my Valentine. But what if he says no? Who am I kidding? Of course he's gonna say no. But he's the only guy at this school who ever even gives me the time of day." She took a deep breath and walked in Jack's office, she knocked on the door. "Hi."

"Hi, Rachel."

"All this excitement, I never got the chance to ask you how your holidays were."

"Great, actually. It was really great seeing everyone again. I owe you big time."

"I'm glad. Uh…" Her heart was pounding. "Shelby and I had a blast, too. We had dinner with my dads. Hey, now that it's Valentine's Day, maybe you could finally ask her out."

"I can't. She already has other plans…with another guy."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Jack. I'll just give you your space." She started to walk.

"Hey, wait." He pulled out a black case with a ribbon. "I ordered it for you when I was back home. It's just my way of saying thank you for the ticket."

Rachel smiled, "The kiss was enough."

"Just open it."

Rachel opened the case to find a gold star necklace.

"You're better than everyone else here, Rachel." He puts the necklace on her. "You're a real star. And you don't need anyone to anchor you. You shine brighter than all the others."

"I… Thank you." They hugged.

Justin walked in. "Hey."

Jack said, "Oh, Rachel, this is my brother Justin."

"Oh. Hi, there." They shake hands.

"I hear you're on your way to a Regionals competition next month. Nice work."

"Well, thank you for telling me that."

Santana held a list in front of Puck. "What's that?"

"It's a receipt. I went to Jared." She wears a necklace. You can reimburse me with dinner at Breadstix and then we can consider this settled."

"Um, no. And consider what settled?"

"Look, you made your point. But I'm willing to change. I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might mistake her for the endangered white rhino."

Lauren stepped up behind her, "I heard that." Santana smiled and turned around. Puck said, "This is not gonna be good."

"Lauren, what a nice surprise. You are a beautiful person."

"Thank you."

"Now, get going before I end you."

"You don't want to push me."

"Oh, but see, I sorta do. I'm from a part of town called Lima Heights adjacent. You know where that is? It's on the wrong side of the tracks." She gently slapped her cheek with the back of her hand. Lauren took off her glasses and gave them to Puck. She grabbed Santana and threw her on the lockers. Santana bit her leg and tried to throw her, but Lauren threw her again and slid her across the floor like a doll. Beiste then showed up and said, "Hey! Knock it off and get going."

Santana tried to stand up, "That's how we do it in Lima Heights!"

"Let's get you to the nurse," Beiste said and picked her up.

Puck said to Lauren, "Please go out with me. Just once."

"Make a formal presentation," she put her glasses back on, "and I'll consider it." She walked away. Puck was in awe.

Rachel said, "So, who is this guy you're interested in?"

Shelby said, "He's over there."

"I can see the appeal. You're saying he wants you to perform something in front of his peers?"

"This is insane. I don't even know what song to sing."

"Yeah, well, that's why you have me. You're amazing. He won't resist you."

The glee girls were all singing "I Want You to Want Me."

Outside, Shelby asked, "Was it too much? Yeah, it was too much, wasn't it?"

Puck and Lauren were sitting in the library. "I don't understand," she told him. "You said you wanted to formally ask me out, but I don't see an envelope of cash, no muffin basket."

"Wait, let's be honest here. You look the way you look and I'm embracing that. I mean, it turns me on."

"I look like America looks. And like America, I need something more than just a song to get my voices flowing."

Puck pulled out a red ring pop and got down on one knee. "Lauren Zizes, will you go to Breadstix with me tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow isn't Valentine's Day."

"Tomorrow's just the pre-date. Our lips are gonna be too busy making out to eat anything."

Lauren tried not to giggle. "I like your style, Puckerman. I dine at 8:00." She put on the ring pop. "Now, get out of here before I change my mind." Puck nodded and took off.

Rachel was going over some random files the next day, and then she discovered something.

In Jack's office, Rachel ran to him frantically. "Jack! Jack."

"Rachel, what is it?"

"It's Jeremy. He's just using Shelby. He needed her to get a cover story so he can get in good graces with his bosses and get back with his girlfriend."

Jack scoffed, "I knew it. I knew I couldn't trust that guy! You have to talk to your sister about this."

"No. If I tell Shelby, she might not believe me. Jack, you have to tell her. You're her best friend. She'll believe it coming from you."

Jack sighed heavily. "I can't."

"Why? Why, Jack? Why the hell not?"

"I don't want to see her get hurt. I want her to be happy."

"She's not going to be happy with that guy. Besides, you actually like her. She's always been better looking than me."

"Rachel, stop. You're every bit as beautiful."

Rachel nodded. "So, what are we gonna do?"

"I think I may have something."

Puck walked by. "Hello, Lauren."

Lauren asked, "What's with the cold shoulder?"

"Remember last night? Breadstix?"

"Oh, that's right. We had a date, didn't we?"

"Look, I get it. You've been hurt by guys before. But I'm not that kind of guy anymore."

"You tossed people into dumpsters last year, so yeah. You are."

"I don't do that kind of stuff anymore."

"I can take care of myself. I don't think you're ready for this jelly."

Jack walked in line. The cashier said, "Oh, hey. It's you again. No need. Your coffee's been paid for already. Figured the pretty lady wanted to pay you back."

Blaine looked at a mug. "Don't they have anything here that isn't covered with pink hearts?"

Kurt said, "Well, you've certainly changed your tune."

In the choir room, Finn said, "Well, I did it. I kissed almost every girl in this school and managed to raise $324 for the club."

Will said, "Nice job, Finn. That'll pay for half a ticket to Nationals, so still a long way to go." Clapping occurred. "Now what love means to Tina Cohen-Chang."

Tina stood up and said, "This is for you, Mike. Happy Valentine's Day." The piano started playing and Tina sang "My Funny Valentine." She started to cry. Lauren looked shocked. Will looked horrified. Mike raised his eyebrows. Sam looked uncomfortable. Santana looked confused. Rachel looked sad. Mercedes looked stunned. Brittany looked like she was about to cringe herself. Claire asked, "Why is she crying?" Mike went to Tina who said, "I'm so overcome with love."

Will said, "Okay, well, that was almost too powerful."

The bosses who Jeremy worked for were reviewing their posts. Jeremy walked in and expected a big raise, only to discover that the men were all looking at him with distrust.

"What, uh, what's going on here?"

"Mr. Trottman, you do know we take our work very seriously. Well, we've looked at some of your performance reviews and this isn't the first time you went behind our backs."

"What do you mean?"

Another gentlemen with long hair stated, "You say that you want people to get to know you, perform for you, and then you just cut them out of your life without any explanation?"

"It's no wonder you always get the big bucks," a deep-voice man said.

"Mr. Trottman, we are a very reasonable company, but what you have in mind of doing is completely sleazy."

The main man said, "Pack your desk."

Anne Marie and Ian bumped fists.

Shelby said, "So, he was just using me to make a profit?"

Rachel said, "I'm sorry, Shelby."

Shelby scoffed. "I'm not surprised. Why am I not surprised?"

"Well, look at it this way. You didn't even lose any money or credit. So, really, the joke is on him."

"Heh. Yeah. He just seemed so perfect."

"There are other guys out there."

Shelby and Jack were having dinner together at Breadstix.

Shelby said, "I should've known it was too good to be true."

"That guy didn't know who he was messing with. I didn't know him all that well, but he was pretty shady. I mean, just using you for your talent. He could've used anyone, but he chose you because of your reputation."

"What, you think that's all I do, just do vocal exercises and coach glee club all day?"

"No. Uh, that's not what I meant. You, you're amazing and beautiful. And, uh…well."

Shelby smiled. "You really think that I'm beautiful?"

"Uh…" Jack felt himself burning. "Yeah, uh… So, you know my coffee order."

"You're my best friend."

The server gave Jack his coffee cup. He drank it and said, "It's perfect."

The server walked away and Shelby said, "That's not what you ordered, is it?"

Jack shook his head. "Not even close."

Claire was singing her own version of "Love Like This" by Natasha Bedingfield. She was mostly looking at Henry the whole time. Rachel clapped in tune. Mercedes and Tina couldn't help but sing along. Santana even seemed to enjoy herself. The guys were having a good time themselves. When Claire was done, the others clapped and cheered.

Sue tried to commit suicide after losing most of her budget. Will and Emma tried to stop her, even though everyone knew Sue would never lift a finger to help anyone but herself. So Emma suggested that she sit in the choir room for a week like the football players did. Like that was gonna being people closer together. (Sarcasm)

In the choir room, Sue was sitting in a chair.

Tina said, "This cannot be happening."

Artie said, "This seems like a terrible idea."

Will said, "Guys, it's not up for discussion."

Mercedes asked, "Sympathy? From us?"

Quinn said, "All she's ever done is make our lives miserable."

Santana said, "She got exactly what she deserved."

Sue said, "You're lucky I left my blowgun at home, air bags. Is that too much to ask?"

Claire, Henry, Anne Marie and Ian all said, "Yes."

Will said, "Guys, it's settled. So I received an envelope in the mail today. We're all up against Kurt and the Warblers. We are also up against Aural Intensity again."

Mercedes said, "They cleaned our clocks last year."

Will said, "This year's Regional theme is anthem."

Henry said, "Mr. Shue."

Will said, "Henry."

"I'd like to perform an anthem of my own."

Quinn said, "You've got to be kidding me."

Sue seemed intrigued. The bitch said, "Let him speak."

Henry said, "There's a number that I've been practicing that I wanted to show off. And it qualifies as an anthem because it sums up power and it's really direct."

Will said, "All right. Let's hear it, buddy."

Henry put on a guitar and sang Finger Eleven's classic hit, "Paralyzer."

Artie raised his eyebrows. Tina smiled and said, "This is actually pretty good." Santana wanted more. Lauren nodded. Finn smiled at him in respect. Puck moved to the beat. Mercedes danced. Claire was really into it. Will smiled with great anticipation. Even Rachel seemed into it. When he was done, they clapped and cheered. Brittany shouted, "Whoo!" Henry took a bow.

Sue said, "We gotta get that guy on the football team."

Claire said, "He is." Mike nodded.

Sam wanted to form a band called the Justin Bieber Experience. The others guys wanted in. Now, Finn, of course, was against it. He, like so many others, was not a big Bieber fan. Yeah, but so what? The other boys put on hoods, all different colors, and in the auditorium, they were singing Bieber's version of "Somebody to Love." The girls cheered.

Sam said, "Everything Bieber does is epic."

Artie said, "Truth."

Puck said, "So, Lauren, what'd you think?"

"Although my love for him would crush him, I remember that it's totally creepy."

"Zizes, I'm dying here. We both know I'm not the brightest. So what do I have to do to get with you?"

In the choir room, Finn put his hood up. Tina asked, "Why are you dressed like that? I though you weren't into the Biebster."

"I wasn't, but then somebody told me that he's like the king of YouTube with over a billion views. It appeals to the masses, so before I picked my anthem, I was working on my anthem look." Quinn sat down behind him with a confused look on her face. Sam sat next to her.

Henry wore a hood himself. Claire asked, "Henry? You're not joining the Bieber band, too?"

"Kid's got talent, but I'm not interested in joining their band. I just wanted to put this on."

Rachel and Mercedes were gonna do a diva-off. They started to sing "Take Me or Leave Me" from RENT. When they were about to finish the song, they were laughing and when they were done, they hugged. Applause and cheering happened.

Mercedes said, "Oh, my God, that was so great!"

Rachel said, "Her. What about her?"

"No, her."

Rachel laughed. Will said, "Awesome!"

Sue said, "Hey, wait a minute. Where's the hate?"

Will said, "Not the point of glee club, Sue."

In the choir room, the next day, Lauren wanted to sing a solo for the first time, so Puck decided to help her out. She started to sing Joan Jett's "I Love Rock n Roll." She pushed Tina and Brittany down. Mercedes tried not to laugh. Sue was stunned. After she was done, everyone clapped. Puck smiled, "How frickin' hot is she?" Everyone went to Lauren and praised her.

In the auditorium, everyone was singing "The Anthem" by Good Charlotte. They were really into it. Even Sue didn't seem to mind it…much.

In the choir room, Will said, "Well, as much as I hate to say it, we owe Sue a thank you."

Rachel said, "Mr. Shue, if I may. That song was good, but I don't think it'll be good enough to win Regionals. And like we all know, Aural Intensity kicked our butts last year."

"What do you suggest, Rachel?" Will asked.

"Well, I think we need to write our own music. We need an indisputable advantage. We can't lose Regionals again this year."

Will said, "All those in favor of doing an original song?"

Finn, Claire and Henry raised their hands. No one else would. Man, Will is so, so stupid. Really false hearted and closed minded. Everyone else was so small minded. Rachel really had a great idea, and the others just didn't care? What's the point of hearing if no one will listen? And Rachel is the selfish one? You know, if that's so, why is everyone else always thinking of themselves? Finn wanting to hook up with Quinn? Santana doing and saying whatever she wants to get with Brittany. Puck and Sue being screwed up in general, and Will not letting anyone else have a say, even in song ideas. This is NOT a well-oiled machine. If anything, all the cogs are out of place.

In the hallway, Henry walked to Rachel. "Rachel," he called.

"Hi, Henry."

"Hey. Look, you were right in there. About that song not being good enough to win. We need to write our own songs."

"Why didn't you say that when I needed it?"

"Probably wouldn't have made any difference. Nobody would listen, anyway. But look, what you need to do is write a great song and shove it down their throats. They're not as insightful as you. I mean, if anyone can come up with a song to win Regionals, Rachel, it would be you."

Rachel smiled. "Thank you, Henry. That's the nicest, most encouraging thing anybody's ever said to me."

Henry nodded. "Anytime." He walked. "You know, I also liked what I saw in there. Focused, take no prisoners. From what Finn told me, I think you might be making a comeback."

Rachel smiled and beamed at that.

One day, in Figgins' office, Will opened the door and said, "Figgins, you wanted to see me?"

"William, we have an epidemic. Alcohol."

"But I don't get it. Drinking's never been a problem here before."

"That's because there are new alcoholic beverages for kids, Will. Just listen to the radio. Just listen to any hit by the woman with the dollar sign in her name."

"What, you mean Ke$ha?"

"We need to protect this school, William. I'm making this week an Anti-Alcohol Awareness Week and your glee club are going to perform a song at the assembly. Can I count on you, Will?"

In the teacher's lounge, Shelby walked to Jack. "Hey, Jack."

"If you want me to move, I'll be out of your way in a minute."

"No, Jack, it's me."

Jack looked up. "Hey." He smiled. "Uh, do you want to sit?"

"Thanks." She sat.

"Uh, how have you been?"

"Busy. Glee's gearing up for Regionals. Rachel's prepping. She said she wants to do original songs."

"Really? That's brilliant."

"Yeah, I think so, too. But the others are against it."

"Well, they shouldn't be. I think it's great that Rachel wants to do this."

"I know. I think it's a great idea, too, but for some reason, Will won't go for it."

"Why doesn't that surprise me? If they don't get their acts together, it's gonna cost them Regionals. I just wish Will and the others would just get out of their own way and consider listening to Rachel for once."

Shelby chuckled. "Makes me glad you and Rachel are so close."

Jack smiled. "Well, I love hearing about the glee club, but I'm more interested in you. How you're doing."

"Me?"

"Are you seeing anybody? Dating, I mean."

"No."

Sue slimed up and said, "Well, well, well. If it isn't Rachel Berry's lesser-known Vocal Adrenaline sister and the new guy."

Jack drank some water and said, "Coming here almost six months, still thinks of me as the new guy."

Shelby said, "What do you want, Sue?"

Sue said, "Oh, I'm just here to offer up a friendly conversation. I mean, look where you are now. You coached an award-winning glee club whose only pleasure is in excellence, booming music and egging the crap out of people. When my glee club thrashes Will's glee club, everyone here will turn to drink."

Shelby looked confused. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I'm sorry. What was that you said before? Since when do you coach any glee club? Since when do you even like glee?"

"Well, to answer all your questions, I am now currently a glee coach. I just started coaching Aural Intensity. And I don't. I just like to win."

Jack said, "How is it that you're even coaching a glee club?"

Sue said, "Well, let's just say the other coach had a little accident falling down the stairs." She pushed him down the stairs in a flashback. Surprise, surprise. "The doctors say he'll be fine."

Jack scoffed, "I still don't get you. Why? How could they let you coach Aural Intensity?"

"There's no one just lining up to coach Glee Clubs. By the way, I never got to congratulate you and your team for winning Regionals last year."

Shelby asked, "What the hell do you care? You weren't at all enthusiastic when you announced it into the microphone."

"No, but you were all happy and thrilled when you and that Jesse kid took the big trophy. Bet you felt all guilty and proud sucking up your little sister's glory."

Shelby stood up in a huff. Jack stood up and stopped her.

"Well! Look who finally has a backbone. Enjoy your practicing while it lasts, Shelby, because when the New Directions rise back up, I'll be there to take you all down." She walked away looking all smug. Jack gently took his hands off Shelby's arms. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," she sighed.

In the choir room, Rachel saw Henry walk into the choir room. "Hi. How's the song writing going?"

"Oh, great. I wanted you to hear it." She hugged him.

Henry smiled, "Hm. What was that for?"

"Just to defuse the tension. I really appreciate you, Finn and Claire for backing me up on this, but you were the one who told me to go for it, Henry."

The piano started to play. Rachel was singing, "There you rest, upon my head. With every one on my nightstand. You won't be blue, and I'll tell you, it doesn't matter if you're yellow, pink or red. Sometimes you get lost, but when pigtails won't do, you're the only one I can count on. You're my headband. On my melancholy head."

Henry said, "Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. Is this about your headbands?"

Rachel said, "Yes, as the song says. They say you should write about what you know."

"Well, it's very colorful. But not very deep enough."

"It sucks."

"It's a good start, though."

Rachel nodded, "I need a new creative outlet."

"What are you doing?"

"My dads are out of town. I'm gonna throw myself a party."

In Rachel's basement, they were walking downstairs. "Hi, Shelby. Thanks for coming. Kurt, Blaine, wasn't expecting you two."

Kurt said, "So this is your dad's Oscar room."

"Yeah. They transformed our ordinary basement into for our famous annual Oscar parties."

Blaine asked, "Is that a stage?"

Shelby said, "Wow, Rachel. Your dads really went all out." Claire was walking downstairs with Henry, Anne Marie and Ian.

Rachel said, "I like to give impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes. Okay, uh, let's go over the rules. Everyone gets two tickets so their drinking habits don't go out of hand."

Shelby said, "Wait, this is a drinking party? Rachel, you can't be serious. Not to mention that these drinks are…wine coolers." She sniffed. "It's gross."

"It was all they had. Brittany! No sitting on anything." Brittany got off the washing machine.

Claire said, "I don't drink."

Ian sipped, "Mm. What is this, melon and apricot?"

Puck said, "Let me break into your dads' liquor cabinet. No one's going to get buzzed off wine coolers."

After a while, everyone in the room was drinking and flipping coins while "Like a G6" was playing on the radio.

Claire and Anne Marie sat on chairs glaring at them. Anne looked disgusted with Santana. Claire was equally disdained by the sight of Quinn and Brittany.

Anne Marie said, "Brainless bitches. Ruddy pumpkin head, isn't she?"

Claire said, "I don't think it was books that had her going to the library."

Kurt said to Shelby, "Are you not drinking?"

"Somebody's gotta keep an eye out for you."

"I'm trying to impress Blaine."

"Is that him over there?" Shelby pointed and Blaine was shaking to the music. Blaine walked to her. "Hey."

"You must be Blaine. I'm Shelby."

"I know. It is so cool that you and Rachel are sisters. Like wow! It's amazing how much you two look alike. You have so much in common. You're even into the same songs."

Kurt asked, "Are you having fun, Blaine?"

"Best party ever!"

Rachel leaned on Shelby.

Shelby said, "Okay, honey, that's it. I'm cutting you off."

Rachel said, "You know what you are to me, Jack Masterson? The one. You are the one."

In the auditorium, everyone was wearing black and red, singing "Blame It On the Alcohol" by Jamie Foxx. Will smiled, "Wow, guys. I actually thought some of you were drunk."

Artie said, "Well, we take our craft seriously."

Santana stifled a sob. Will asked, "Santana, are you crying?"

"I'm okay." Brittany held her.

Quinn said, "You're such a hypocrite. You drink. Most adults do."

Will said, "Well, I may have a beer every now and then, but I don't get drunk."

Puck said, "We're well aware of the dangers of alcohol. Almost every commercial during NASCAR and football is for beer."

In Rachel's room, she dialed on her cell phone and took a deep breath.

Jack was chatting with his brother, Justin. His cell phone rang and he answered it. "Hi, Rachel, Justin and I were just talking about you."

Rachel said, "You're so handsome. So…I have a question for you."

Justin asked, "Is she drunk?"

Jack said, "Uh-huh. Yeah. All right, I'll see you then. Okay, bye." Beep. "Rachel just asked me out."

Justin said, "Heh, that is amazing. Wait a second, why'd you say yes? You can't lead her on."

"This isn't leading her on."

"You can't be serious."

"What's the harm in going out on one little date?"

"The harm in going is that you like her sister, Jack."

"I know. But Rachel's a great girl, too, and I want to get to know her better."

Justin rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm hearing this right now."

"I mean, after all, she did help me see you all over Christmas."

"Yeah, and you gave her a solid gold necklace for Valentine's Day. What if she decides to think that you're only getting close to her because of Shelby?"

"She does not think that."

"Maybe not yet."

"Look, how can you even think that? I'm not using Rachel. And she has been nothing but nice to me ever since I got here. Besides, Shelby doesn't even know I exist."

"That's not true."

"Yeah? Then why hasn't she called me? I'd say bye, but I wouldn't want to make you angry."

In Rachel's basement, she and Shelby were cleaning up the rest of the party. "Thanks for helping with the party cleanup, especially since you didn't even drink."

"I was around."

"At 10:00? Look, we're friends, so I'm gonna have to be honest with you."

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"Because I look up to you. I admire how proud you are of who you are."

"You're definite about who are you, fantastic."

"Look, if you want some space, fine. I'll give it to you. But if you can't even confide in me, I don't even know why we even bother being friends in the first place." She walked away in a huff.

In the gym, Figgins tapped on the microphone. "Quiet, please. I want to wish all of you a happy Alcohol Awareness Week. Now to perform Tick-Tock by Ke$ha, the New Directions." He nodded. They were all singing and dancing. Brittany said, "I don't feel so good." Rachel told her, "Power through it."

Figgins moved to the beat. Shelby looked terrified. Brittany and Santana spewed. For real. Shelby shouted, "Rachel!" Henry said, "Oh, God!" The music stopped. Ian looked stunned. Anne Marie covered her mouth in shock.

Brittany said, "Please drink responsibly."

The next day, Sue announced over her PA, "Students, colleagues, faculty…we all still quake in terror of the assembly yesterday. Teen vomit spiraling out of control. Behold the awful price of alcoholism."

In Figgins' office, Will and the New Directions gathered round. Figgins said, "Schuester, New Directions, I have one word to say. Congratulations." They looked confused. "That disgusting stunt at the assembly really paid off! The kids at this school have been scared straight." He clapped his hands. "Achievement."

Well, in the choir room, Will made it perfectly clear to everyone to never drink again, including himself. After a while, everyone just got so bored and grossed out by it that the next time they have a good time, they're going to do it soberly, without consequence.

In Jack's classroom, Shelby tied a blindfold around his eyes. There were six different sets of Slushies in front of him on his desk. She asked, "There. Okay, you ready?"

"Hit me." He picked up a cup and drank from it. "Mm. Cherry."

"Yes. Okay, next one."

He drank from another cup and scoffed. "So easy. Grape."

"That's right. Okay, try this one."

He picked up a third cup and drank. He licked his lips. "Ooh, this one's good. It's familiar. Wait, you can't fool me. This is Diet Coke."

Shelby clapped her hands. "You are correct!" Jack took off his blindfold and they did a high-five.

Holly Holliday walked in the teachers' lounge. Will said, "Holly! What are you doing here?"

"Subbing."

They hugged. "Oh, it's so good to see you. Oh, this is Emma Pillsbury."

"How do you do?"

"Very nice to meet you." Emma cleared her throat.

So, just to recap, Holly came back to discuss intercourse with the other students. Teaching and learning about sex is very serious and at times disgusting.

Will wrote and whispered, "Sexy."

Santana spewed, "I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals."

Will said, "This isn't about that. It's become very clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to the, uh...understanding of the intricacies of adult relationships."

Rachel asked, "Is this the appropriate term for that?" Shelby smiled at her.

Will said, "This week I have invited a special guest. Miss Holliday!"

Holly walked in. Everyone clapped and cheered. "Hola, class-e."

Mercedes muttered, "Oh, no, it's the salad lady."

Holly said, "Okay, so let's start with the basics. Sex. It's like hugging, only dirtier."

Artie said, "Yeah, it is."

Rachel asked, "Well, what about those who choose to remain celibate?"

Holly said, "I admire you. Although I find your decision to be somewhat rigid, I admire you."

Claire said, "You do know I'm only 15, right?"

"Maybe you're an old soul."

"Uhh…"

Everyone was congaing. Claire said, "I forgot why we're doing this."

Rachel said, "Just keep going. You're doing great."

In the teacher's lounge, Will said, "Jack, why don't you come in and do a number?"

"What, like sing?"

"Yeah."

Beiste smiled and nodded.

Jack said, "You should've pumped fake to make you draw the foul."

Shelby said, "Wow, I can't believe I actually understood that."

Holly said, "Oh. You must be Shelby Corcoran." They shake hands. "Will's told me quite a bit about you."

Shelby said, "Yeah. Uh, this is Jack Masterson."

Holly took one look at Jack and smiled in an instant. "Wow. So, you must be the new guy."

"Yeah, that's what everyone calls me."

"Rachel was right. You are incredibly handsome."

In the choir room, Henry, Jack and Ian were all singing "Sexy Back."

Rachel was blushing super red. Claire was smiling. Anne Marie raised her eyebrows. The other girls were swooning over them, especially over Jack. Santana said, "Wanky."

Shelby walked to Rachel. "Hey. Are you okay? You kept making all those faces during the song."

"I guess I'm just having a newfound appreciation for Justin Timberlake."

"It looked like you were having an orgasm or something."

"Great. How are we supposed to go onstage at Regionals if I can't keep my cool singing a new original song?"

"We'll figure something out."

In a gym, Justin said, "Okay, give me sensual, but don't make fun of it."

Jack tried to do a sexy face.

"Okay, now give me sultry."

Jack attempted a sultry face.

"Uh, Jack, they're all kinda looking the same."

"That's because the face I'm trying to make is uncomfortable."

"Look, I know it hasn't been the same for you since we were in high school. But you've come so far since then."

"Is that so? I can't even get Shelby to notice me that way. The first time I saw her, I was completely blown away. Since then, every time I talk to her, my face starts burning and heart starts racing. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe." He sighed.

"Well, good news. At least Rachel likes you. Come on, you think I haven't noticed?"

"But you said earlier…"

"I know. And I know she's still just a teenager, but you cannot fake that kind of smile."

In the auditorium, Rachel and Jack were doing a rousing duet of "Light My Candle" from RENT. Rachel was really into it. They hugged at one point and Rachel was fawning. She leaned forward. "I'm sorry. I just can't deny it. I really like you, Jack. I felt this way since the moment I saw you. And I know how you feel about Shelby, but I just can't keep it to myself any longer. Please say something."

"Rachel…I like you a lot, too. But I need some time to think about this."

"Well, I'm not too picky. Take all the time you need." She walked away.

Will said, "Everything okay?"

Beiste said, "Uh…"

Mike walked to Jack, "Stay away from my woman."

Beiste said, "What the hell's going on here?"

In the teacher's lounge, Jack said, "Shelby, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Some of the New Directions have been giving me weird looks. Mike even told me to stay away from Tina."

"I really don't know what to say. Maybe they just feel threatened by you."

"They think I'm a threat?"

"You're harmless."

"Shelby, I need you to be straight with me. You and Rachel are the only two people that I trust."

"Jack, I don't want you to get mad. Every girl at this school has a big crush on you. And it's not very hard to see why."

"I'm done here."

"What? Wait. What do you mean you're done here? I mean, you can't quit."

"I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. I mean, it's obvious that the guys don't want me here. Why make it any harder? No harm, no foul, right?" He walked out.

"Jack, wait. Jack!" She sighed.

In the choir room, Emma and Beiste stood next to Will.

Will said, "Well, I genuinely hope you guys are happy. Because Jack Masterson has quit."

Rachel said, "No."

Claire said, "Wait, what? That's terrible."

Brittany said, "Yeah, that's not what we want."

Quinn said, "That's the opposite of what we want. We all actually like him."

Will said, "Well, then you better find a way to get him back fast, because I'm actually embarrassed of you. You really hurt someone who is a great addition to this school."

Tina said, "What did we do?"

Finn said, "No, it's us. The boys."

Henry said, "And Santana." They looked at him. Santana glared at him.

Claire said, "Can I just say that this is what happens when people keep putting out. If everyone just stopped putting out, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Anne Marie nodded.

In Jack's apartment, there was a knock on his door. "Who is it?"

Shelby said, "It's me."

"Come in." The door opened and Shelby walked in.

"Didn't take you for a leaver."

"You have no idea what it's like."

"For what it's worth, the guys feel awful. But they like you. They respect you."

"Nah. They don't need someone like me."

"Wait. Just stop. Look, I get it. All of us are scarred by high school. Next to our parents, nothing else screws up a person even more. Am I right?"

"I wasn't always like this, you know."

"Well, what were you like before?"

"When I went to high school, I fell in love with the first girl I saw. She was my first date, my first kiss. We stayed together all throughout college. Then one day, I finally got up the nerve to propose." Shelby raised her eyebrows and smiled. "I asked her and she said yes. I thought back then that she was the one. But then all of a sudden, she just told me that she was leaving, and I never saw her again." Shelby looked sad. "It tore me apart. I thought my life was over."

"Jack, I'm so sorry. That must've been really hard."

"Yeah, no, I know."

"Will you stay?"

Jack moved his hand and his pen dropped.

Shelby said, "Oh." She got down and he did after. They picked up the pen.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"You're really cool, Shelby."

"So are you."

Jack smiled at her.

In the choir room, Jack asked, "Okay. Why am I here?"

Sam said, "We just wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings."

Henry said, "I-I didn't do anything."

Claire said, "And I have written proof that none of this was my fault."

Mercedes asked, "Why is it laminated?"

Claire said, "So Sue Sylvester wouldn't break it."

Artie smiled, "You know, I always liked her."

Rachel and Jack were walking into the choir room together. She said, "Okay, I took all of Henry's notes for my first song to heart, so I really tapped into my pain for this second song. So, come and sit down." The piano started to play. "You have just one egg. You're not going to buy a new pet. Just one way, you're not going to make a jet set. Mother, father, sister, brother, wherefore art thou? Not even going right into the bedroom now. How could you, Dads? Why did you only settle for me? More for them but not enough for me. I'm an only child. The only one on the family tree."

"Well, based on what Henry and Ian told me, it's definitely better than the first one."

"But?"

"I think you're only dealing with easy pain."

"I cry every time I sing a solo."

"That's it, then. When you sing, you feel it."

"Have you ever tried to write a song?" She sits down next to him.

"No."

"Mr. Shue wouldn't go for it."

"Well, Will is an idiot. Once you do come up with a great song, maybe then he'll see how wonderful you are. Strong, determined, caring, passionate…"

Rachel smiled.

"…and beautiful."

Rachel looked at him, touched and blushing by what he just said. They leaned forward slowly. Rachel then stopped herself and cleared her throat loudly. "Well, um, anyway, uh…"

Jack slightly scratched the back of his head.

"I-I guess that's a wrap again. Um…thanks for taking the time to listen, Jack. You're a really good friend."

"Yeah? Well, you know I'll always make time for you."

Kurt was whistling in his room. There was a soft thump. "Pavarotti?"

In the commons of Dalton, Trent shouted, "This is a kangaroo court!"

It suddenly got silent when Kurt walked in. Blaine asked, "Kurt, what's wrong?"

"It's Pavarotti. He's dead. I suspect a stroke."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

"I know it's really silly to be upset about a bird, but…he was my friend. I'd like to song a song for him today." He pulled out a cassette tape. One of them took it and played it in a radio. Kurt started to sing "Blackbird" by the Beatles. The others were harmonizing with him. Blaine looked at Kurt somberly. He smiled fondly at him when he was about to finish. Kurt nodded and said, "Thank you."

In the choir room, Will held up a letter. "You know how we agreed to do The Anthem by Good Charlotte? Well, I have a cease and desist letter from the band. We can't do it."

Puck said, "But that song was the perfect anthem."

Finn said, "It's even in the title."

Mercedes said, "How much do you want to bet Coach Sylvester had something to do with this?"

Rachel said, "I think that we should write original songs for Regionals." Claire said, "Rachel's right." Henry nodded.

Shelby said, "I think so, too."

Jack said, "I think it's a great idea."

Rachel looked at him in surprise. Shelby turned to him. Claire and Henry smiled. Jack went on, "This team would work better if you all put your heads together."

Mercedes said, "Well, I mean, even if that's true, all the other teams are doing amazing songs. We're not gonna be so good."

Quinn said, "You're right. We're gonna be better. We're not gonna be using other people's music and lyrics. It'll be our own. Our own heart and soul, not just our voices."

Shelby said, "Well, we already have a really talented, if not ambitious, writer in our mix. Rachel." Rachel beamed. Henry said, "I'm with Rachel and Ms. Corcoran. It's definitely an idea worth considering."

Ian said, "Hey, why not? I'm good with that."

Anne Marie nodded, "Me too."

Santana said, "Wait, so suddenly you two are writing songs for Regionals? I think everyone should get a chance to write a song."

Anne Marie said, "Oh, so now you're on board with this. Typical."

Mercedes said, "What do you think, Mr. Shue?"

Will said, "Well, looks like we're doing original songs for Regionals."

Henry said, "Yes."

Anne Marie said, "All right, then. Let's all partner up. Rachel, you'll be working with Jack. Henry, you'll be with Ian. And, Claire, you're with me."

Claire beamed, "Sweet!"

Rachel said, "Yes!"

Shelby clapped.

The gavel banged in the commons.

Blaine suggested, "I say we turn our 11:00 number into a duet to showcase other talent in this room."

David said, "Why don't we just play it on kazoos?"

"Point of order! Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny little grave."

Kurt said, "The placement of which has yet to be determined."

Wes said, "A vote. Who's in favor of Blaine's proposal for a dual lead at Regionals?"

Kurt asked, "Can I put my name on that audition list?"

Blaine said, "Uh, no. No auditions. I want to sing the duet with Kurt."

"That's ridiculous. There are so many great voices. Everyone deserves a shot at that honor."

"All in favor of Kurt being my duet partner?" A number of hands went up.

Wes said, "Decided."

Thad said, "Congratulations, Kurt."

Applause.

In the choir room, Will said, "All right, guys. Let's hear it for our first writing seminar. Now, here are some rhyming dictionaries."

Santana said, "Mr. Shue, Tina and I have already been working on a song."

"Really? Let's hear it."

"This is a song I wrote for Sam called Trout-y Mouth."

Sam asked, "Wait, what's it called?"

Mike whispered, "Trout-y mouth."

Sam said, "Mr. Shue, we are not doing a song called Trout-y Mouth."

Will said, "Uh, I have to agree with Sam."

Puck said, "Mr. Shue, I also wrote a song. I did it for Lauren."

"All right."

"It's called Big Ass…Heart."

Well, it was definitely better than Trout-y Mouth.

In the working garage, Ian was reading a rhyming dictionary while Henry was trying to fix the oil in a car.

Ian said, "Okay. So, we need to come up with an anthem that's so epic, it'll make even Sue Sylvester cry."

"Good luck coming up with a song that can do that."

"Look, buddy. I know it's not easy coming up with a song on the spot, but this'll really rub it in those other guys' faces."

"Hey, I was the one who supported Rachel's song idea in the first place."

"I know. That was cool."

"Look, maybe we don't even need to think about this. All we have have to do is stick with what we know, and then maybe the words will just come to us. What do you suppose the others are doing?"

"You mean besides disagreeing and arguing pointlessly like children? I swear, the way people behave in high school these days."

In a flashback, Karofsky and Azimio splashed their faces with blue Slushies.

Back to the present, "I'd like to see those guys being pinned to a wall."

Ian said, "Wait, Karofsky always used to push people against the lockers."

Henry said, "Finn and Artie would totally go for that in a song." They high-five.

In Shelby's apartment, Rachel asked, "We're friends, right?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"It's just… I don't know what to write. My first two were total disasters. I think I'm losing my touch."

"Rachel, that's impossible. You've never been one to shy away from a challenge."

"I'm just so mad. I'm mad at everything. I'm mad at Mr Shue for not going with my idea in the first place. I'm mad at some of the others for not listening to me until the last minute. I'm mad at Sue for just…all the crap she does to us!"

"Well, that's good. It's good that you feel like this. You know, allow it to fill you up but don't let it consume you."

"Look, I need you to be honest with me. Do you really think I can do this?"

"I have no doubts."

In the auditorium, Anne Marie said, "Okay, so what we have so far is a trout-y mouth song and a big ass heart song."

Claire said, "I have no idea what's going on. I've never written a song before."

"Just try, okay?"

"I can't wear a sleeveless dress. People are gonna see my whole…arms."

"Come on, it'll be just like going to the beach."

"Look, I'm kind of insecure about how I look."

"Claire, you're fantastic. I mean, I don't look like Quinn or Brittany, but you still like me, right?"

"Well, yeah, of course."

"Well, then you'll just have to trust me that you're one of the coolest girls at this school. Okay? Come here." They smile and hug.

Blaine walked in while Kurt was putting glue on a case.

"What's that?"

"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket."

"Well, finish up, I have the perfect song for our number and we should practice."

"Do tell."

"Candles by Hey, Monday."

"I'm impressed. You're usually top 40."

"Yeah, well, I wanted something a little more emotional." He sat down next to Kurt.

"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?"

"Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever.' Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was a moment for me…about you. You move me, Kurt, and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you." He then kissed him and Kurt's hand fell on the table. Blaine exhaled, "We should practice."

"I thought we were."

In the choir room, Mercedes was singing a song that she wrote. "Hell to the No." Everyone clapped.

Will said, "Mercedes, that was amazing. But, um…"

Mercedes said, "But my butt, Mr. Shue."

"I just don't think it's Regionals material."

Santana said, "I wrote another verse of Trout-y Mouth."

Sam put up a paper that said, "Hell No" in all caps.

Artie said, "Coach Sylvester always torments us and tries to get the whole school to hate us."

Mercedes said, "She literally throws sticks at me."

Santana said, "Yesterday, she stuffed my and Britt's lockers with dirt."

Brittany nodded. Will said, "She…"

Tina said, "Mean. Mean."

Will asked, "How does all this stuff make you feel?"

Finn said, "Well, at first it hurts, but then it mostly makes you want to win."

Will said, "I think we just found our song." He wrote and circled. "Let's get to writing."

In the auditorium, Jack was sitting by the piano and played a few keys. Rachel walked in. She felt her heart pounding in her chest, her face burning like the sun. She took a deep breath before walking towards him.

Jack smiled when he saw her. "Rachel."

"Hi," she said back. "Everything okay?"

"I'm sitting here by the piano, waiting for music to come to me."

Rachel chuckled. "Um…do you remember that day we met? When I was picking up my books and you decided to help me?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you?"

"I wanted to. I thought to myself, 'This girl looks really special. She could light up the world one day.' Heh. It's never just one thing with you, Rachel. You always want more, and I admire that."

"Well, thank you for telling me that, Jack, and I'm happy that you like my mom. I just wish that more men in the world were like you."

"I don't know if this is for me, Rachel. I just don't have the guts the way that you do. I'm not brave, confident or tough like you. If I were, I would've been able to have the family that I wanted, but everything just…didn't pan out for me."

"No." Rachel shook her head. "No, I'm not giving up on you. And you are brave, confident and tough, even if you don't see yourself that way." She sighed. "I just don't know if I'm good enough to write a song. Let's face it, I can do a lot of things, but songwriting is not one of them."

"Rachel, how can you even think to say that? You're the most talented person here."

"But is it enough? I can't even come up with a title, and it's the easiest part."

Jack reached into his pocket and pulls out a guitar pick.

Rachel looked confused. "You're giving me your guitar pick?"

"I have a bunch of others, but this is my favorite one."

"I can't take that."

"I want you to have it."

"But I don't even play the guitar."

Jack smiled, "You don't have to. Just think of it as my way of saying… 'I've never had a friend like you.'"

Rachel took the pick and smiled. "I don't know what to say. Jack, will you come to Regionals with us?"

"I'd love to."

Rachel smiled and chuckled.

Jack told her, "And as far as the songwriting goes, it'll come to you. You just need to some time to get it right."

Rachel raised her eyebrows slowly. "Get it right. Get it right… Ha!" She hugged him. "Thank you, Jack!"

Jack hugged her back.

"I think I know what to write now!" She took off in a hurry.

"Uh, no problem." He was left a bit confused. He gently put his hand behind his head.

Sue walked in and said, "Well, William, I see you're off to Regionals."

Will tied his necktie in his office. "You seem awfully chipper."

"Oh, I am, William. I am drunk with confidence. As you know, I forged that letter."

"Actually, Sue, it gave my kids to try their hand at songwriting."

"Well, Will, while your kids are singing God knows what, I have a whole setlist for the judges."

The announcer in the next scene introduced the judges. "Acting legend, Jay O. Sanders!" Applause. "Tammy Jean Albertson!" Applause. "And former exotic dancer and current nun, Sister Mary Constance!" Applause and whistles. "And now, last year's runner-up, from Westville High, Aural Intensity!"

Aural Intensity were singing, "Jesus is a Friend of Mine."

Claire said, "I'm glad Vocal Adrenaline isn't singing this." Shelby looked at her and smirked.

People stood up and clapped. Albertson beamed and clapped.

Kurt asked, "Has anyone ever literally died on stage?"

Blaine asked, "Are you nervous?"

"Please don't judge me."

Blaine said, "I think it's adorable. I think you're adorable."

The announcer called, "And now, also from Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers!"

Kurt and Blaine were singing their duet. Rachel, Shelby and Mercedes all smiled at them. Henry and Ian nodded in approval. When theWarblers were done vocalizing, they performed "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk.

Rachel puts on mascara. Shelby walked to her. "Hey. Break a leg."

Rachel smiled, "Last time we were here, you told me you love me."

"Yeah. I really like your song. I'm really proud of you."

"Well, listen carefully because I mean every word of it."

The announcer called, "And now from McKinley High, from Lima, the New Directions!"

Rachel walked onstage and saw Jack in the crowd. He waved and she waved back. Piano started and she started to sing "Get it Right."

Kurt smiled and said, "Oh, my God, they're doing original songs."

Finn smiled at her. Jack also smiled at her. Applause and cheers sounded. Rachel said, "Ladies and gentlemen, New Directions."

They were all performing another song entitled, "Loser Like Me." Sue looked confused about the dirt throwing lyrics. Shelby was by the curtain. Jack waved at her and she waved back. Anne Marie shouted, "Way to go, Claire!" Ian shouted, "Go Henry!"

Albertson said, "Before we start, I would just like to say I'm not a witch." Convenient that she would say that next to a Wicked picture on the wall.

"Mary Constance said, "For a nun, I'm pretty liberal. But I'm barely a nun. I just started because I needed a place to stay."

"Bless you."

"That Dalton Academy, is that a gay school or is it just a school that appears gay?"

Jay said, "They're not gay. Well, most of them are. But I see no harm."

Mary Constance said, "I like the duet those two boys sang."

Albertson said, "Some boys shouldn't do a duet."

"No, no. Now, that's just cheap pandering."

Jay asked, "What about that Jesus song?"

Albertson said, "Well, that should win."

Jay said, "Those New Directions had it going on. Those new songs were fresh."

Albertson looked uninterested, "Well, I, for one, don't feel comfortable singing about being a loser. I'm a politician. When I lost the election, and there will be a recount, I tweeted that Obama is a terrorist." Which he is not.

Mary Constance said, "Oh, no, you didn't."

"I had to."

Jay said, "Okay, ladies, I've heard enough. Let's vote."

The announcer in the next scene said, "And now, to announce the winner, Lt. Governor Stevens' wife, Carla Turlington-Stevens." Applause.

"My husband is verbally abusive and I've been drinking since noon. I'm bored. Let's just see who won." She opened the envelope. "The New Directions! You're going to Nationals in New York!" Applause and cheering erupted. Rachel and Shelby hugged. Kurt and Blaine clapped. Blaine shrugged.

Sue punched Carla in the face and she went down. Rachel, Will and Mercedes hung their mouths open. Mercedes' mouth was the widest. Shelby looked shocked. Claire said to Anne Marie, "It's a good thing that woman is drunk, or else that would've really hurt." Shelby raised her eyebrows at that and Anne Marie nodded.

Outside, Kurt said, "Farewell, sweet prince."

Blaine dug Pavarotti's grave. "I'm sorry, Kurt. Reminds you of your mom's funeral, doesn't it?"

"The casket was bigger. But yes. It's not just that, though. I'm upset that we lost at Regionals."

"The competition season's over, but we'll still get to perform."

"Yeah, I know. I just really wanted to win."

"You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think?" They hold hands and walk away.

In the choir room, Will finally came to his senses and gave a certain someone the respect they so richly deserve.

Will said, "Miss Holliday sends her best and will congratulate you all in person when she gets back. Now, I would like to start a tradition of awarding an MVP. So, by a unanimous vote per all of you, our MVP is…Miss Rachel Berry." Shelby beamed and Rachel smiled. She got up to get her trophy and hugged Will. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. If I could just say a few words."

Santana said, "And here she goes, making me regret voting for her." Anne Marie and Ian glared at her.

Rachel said, "First of all, I really do like the song you all wrote." Claire and Henry smiled. "I was inspired. I've won lots of trophies for singing and dancing competitions, but I've always felt like the girl who never gets the breast ring. And maybe I never will, but today and at Regionals, the way you guys believed in me and supported me. All I wanted was to feel special and chosen. And I wanted to thank you all so much for giving me that."

Shelby hugged her. The others also hugged her. Artie chanted, "MVP!" Rachel laughed.

A few hours later, Rachel came over to Jack's office and knocked on his door. "I hope I'm not interrupting." He turned around and said, "Hey. Congrats on the win. I always knew you could do it, Rachel."

"Yeah, well, I had a lot of help." She pulled out something and said, "This is for you." She held out a medal. Jack raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why?"

"Well, I figured since I got MVP in glee, you should get some recognition, too. I mean, after all, you did come up with the title for one of our songs."

Jack smiled and said, "Well, in that case…" He bowed. Rachel giggled and put it on him. Jack got back up and said, "Thank you."

Rachel replied, "Anytime." They hugged. She put her hand on his face, leaned forward and kissed him. "Whoa," she said. She kissed him again.