"I went with the egg salad sandwich that you got last time, Penny, and one of their strawberry fields salads, since that's what sounded good to me. I went with a turkey club for me. And there was fresh lavender lemonade, so I got that, too. And blueberry muffins. I was really hungry, I guess, and bought what looked so yummy." Jessica gave her a sheepish look as she bustled into the apartment, and Penelope shrugged a little before taking the drink tray from Jessica's hand and closing the door behind her. "You don't think this was overboard?"
"Nope. When you're having a stressful week, comfort eating is all okay. I also made us smoothies, too, since I was already making Erin one. They're in the fridge, cooling, so we can have them when we leave."
Jessica nodded as she followed Penelope over to the sofa and sank down onto it, letting out a weary sigh. "You were so right to have lunch here. I love your apartment, it feels so cosy."
Penelope patted her knee as she nodded. "But it will only be mine for a little while longer. I'm going to talk to Derek about moving in with him, soon, because it's so hard seeing him so infrequently. And at least I know that he won't want me to move out to the middle of nowhere and live on a farm."
Jessica began to dole out their food as she stared at her in disbelief. "Who wanted you to do that?" she asked incredulously.
"My ex, Kevin. I don't think he ever really knew me for all he loved me. But when Derek and I finally clicked, everything felt right. Which is why I want to have his baby so desperately. I want another piece of him to love this much."
She pursed her lips a little as she picked up her sandwich, staring at it as she wished Jessica to say something, anything, to save her from her tears. "That is so insanely sweet," the woman murmured as she leaned into Penelope's space, knocking shoulders with her. "I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, honestly. Daddy's not getting better, which is what I've been trying to convince myself would happen, even though I know that dementia just takes and takes and takes. Aaron tries to be helpful, and I adore him for that, but Daddy doesn't like him because of what happened to Haley, so we're not living together, like we'd both like. So my time with him is so much more limited than you and Derek, or any of the other couples in our yoga group. I just don't know what I'm going to do, as I feel like I'm going out of my skin, and I don't want to talk about this to Aaron, since he doesn't need another worry on his plate. Now I know, just a little, how Haley felt about his job, because I feel like I'm hiding parts of myself away so that I can be the best partner for him."
"And yet, he knew that there was something bothering you, and asked me to reach out. I think that might mean you could trust him with a few more of your heartaches?"
Jessica nodded as she tucked into her food. That seemed to indicate to Penelope that she wanted to eat for a moment, to regather her emotions before they spoke again. Penelope found herself ravenous, and she ate quickly, even as Jessica picked at her food. When she'd finished eating, Penelope synced her phone up to her Bluetooth speaker and chose her soft jazz playlist, hoping that the music would soothe the other woman as she finished eating.
When Jessica appeared to have finished, she set her container to the side and let out a long breath before turning to Penelope and giving her a sad smile. "All right, I guess we can talk again. I think that I'm shored up enough."
"Okay. So, you have three main concerns, from what I've gathered. Your father, your relationship with Aaron, and Jack. From my outside perspective, I think that I could offer you a few options for where to go from here. Would you like to hear them?"
Jessica nodded slowly as she rested her hands on her torso. Penelope felt her gaze drawn there, but found that there wasn't any clear indication that Jessica was pregnant. "All right, spill. Aaron said that you've always given good advice."
Penelope reached out and rested her hand on Jessica's knee. "I try my best, but I won't say that I'm perfect. So, my ideas are thus. You could get an in home nurse to help with the care of Roy, specifically, a night nurse so that you can sleep and recharge your battery. I'm assuming that you're using someone to come to our yoga nights, yes?"
"Actually, no. Daddy still lives on his own, he's so stubborn, and I slip out for my times with you and Aaron. I don't even know if my insurance would cover an in home nurse."
"I can look that up for you. If you want?" Jessica nodded, and Penelope smiled before taking a deep breath. "All right, the other suggestion is that you do move in with Hotch. That way he can help support you as you go through this awful situation. And that would help give Jack a little more stability, too, since he's faced the worst in his little life."
"Even if that would make Daddy furious?"
Penelope tightened her hand over her friend's knee and looked deeply into her eyes. "This is going to hurt, and I'm sorry, but there is going to come a time, very quickly, where your father won't remember what happened to Haley, why he hates Hotch, or who you are. You can't put your life on the backburner just because you don't want to anger him. Do you love Hotch?"
"Yes," Jessica whispered, quick tears wetting her eyes. "More than I have any right to."
"Then chase that happiness with your whole being. He needs someone to love him deeply, just like I needed someone to love me like Derek does. And look at Dave and Erin! Can you imagine how much harder her recovery would have been if she hadn't had him by her side? Oh, that is how everyone should be loved, and I think that we've found that in our men. I can't speak for Blake, or Jaye, since they're a little more closed off, even for how friendly we are, but yeah. Chase your happiness. And maybe give me a little baby to love on."
Jessica let out a watery little laugh. "That will be quite difficult, Penny. We're using three methods of contraception."
"Three?" she asked, quirking her eyebrow upwards.
Jessica blushed as she nodded. "I'm taking the Pill, Aaron uses condoms, and…he finishes outside me. Oh god, please do not tell him that I told you that! He'll never let me live it down!"
"Your secret is safe with me, I promise! So, think over what I suggested, and I'll look into your insurance when I get back to work today. But you know, if you marry Hotch, you can get on our insurance, and that does pay for such services. I'm just saying!"
Jessica laughed as she shook her head. "You are incorrigible, I swear! We have to try living together first. And if that experiment blows up in our faces, I'm spending a few weeks with you, licking my wounds. Okay?"
"More than okay, Jess. Now, let's find something funny to watch before we go back to our days. If you have the time?"
Jessica looked at her watch and then nodded. "I have about thirty minutes before I need to leave for work. Maybe an episode of Roland in the Dough?"
"Perfect," Penelope replied as she queued up Netflix and found the show Jessica had mentioned, choosing an episode at random and snuggling in close to her friend, hoping that she had managed to ease her worries, even if only for a short time that afternoon.