I Melt with You
The most important lesson in life, is to learn how to give love, and let it in
"Hey" Mercedes smiled surprised at being faced with Sam coming around the corner, towards them
"Hey" Rachel rushed towards him and grabbed his arm
"Hey" Sam half smiled, peeling her off him "Good to see you" his eyes rested on Mercedes, she remembered everything about him with that one look, she could tell he was itching to ask that question, the one she was dying to answer
"We were just popping to breadsticks, to get some desert" Rachel ignored his shun "I heard you were in Tennessee visiting your family, when did you get back?"
"Oh, last night, when did you get back?" he asked Mercedes
"Dad's not well, I've been back about a week"
"I came back two days ago, we should catch up" Rachel added, trying to get his attention "We should go for a drink or something"
"Who else is coming?" Sam asked Rachel, Mercedes detected a hint of frustration in his voice, it made her smile knowing his mind was still doing overtime when she was around
"Just us" she smiled up at him
"What's wrong with your dad?" he ignored her offer to ask Mercedes
"Angina"
"Do you think he's up for a visit?"
"He's always happy to see you" she grinned
"What about that drink later?" Rachel asked, Mercedes could tell in her tone she was anxious, even now after nearly six years she didn't understand why this girl still felt there was some sort of competition going on.
"I don't drink anymore Rachel" he turned sharply telling her, his eyes quickly meeting with Mercedes again they both knew what they were thinking
"Are you alright?" Mercedes touched his arm concerned with the distance in his eyes
"I could do with someone to talk to"
"I'm sure I just offered that" Rachel butted in
"Coffee?" Mercedes asked ignoring her, she could be so insensitive sometimes
"He doesn't drink" Rachel reminded her
"Sure" he half smiled at Mercedes, rolling his eyes at nothing changing with that girl Rachel
"I thought you said..." Rachel looked at him confused at the two conversations taking place in parallel
"I have to get back to sort dad out for bed, but after nine maybe?" Mercedes suggested
"That would be great, breadsticks?"
"Sure" she smiled, grabbing Rachel's arm to carry on their journey "Nice to see you Sam"
"Likewise," he smiled
"Why didn't he want to come for a drink with me?" Rachel asked expecting Mercedes to have the answer to that question
"I don't know Rachel" she giggled at the ridiculous question as they walked towards Breadsticks
"Can I..."
"No Rachel" Mercedes quickly rejected her request to join them
It was hard but Rachel bit her lip to keep it still and carried on walking, it wasn't something she'd thought she'd ever do, but right now she was begging for friends and if Mercedes was the only one of those around, she was going to do everything she needed to do to keep her close. Over the years she'd learned some hard lessons, when it came to the way she treated people, and from way back Mercedes had been one of those people that gave her truth talk, or hard lessons in life and her behaviour.
Rachel's Story
It was five years ago, but for me it felt like yesterday, there'd been a horrible twist in my life when I stayed in New York after finishing Fanny. I'd left Finn behind, not by choice, but nevertheless it had happened, communication stopped after I'd got the part, and when he resurfaced, nearly a year later he'd announced he'd gotten back with Quinn. I was hurt, but not shocked, Quinn had always been my rival in that department, but I'd always managed to win him back, so I carried on with my career. It wasn't too long after the back together again call that Quinn called me back to make the personal announcement that they were expecting their first child, of course, that put a halt to anything I ever thought was going to happen for Finn and me, it hurt like hell to know that, finally, that was officially the end of us.
I went into a funk, and in my depressed state of all the people in the world, I turned to Noah for solace, only to find out after three months that he was in a long-distance relationship with Lauren, at that point everything around me seemed to crumble. I wasn't concentrating at my job, I was so disinterested I was constantly missing practice, to top that Kurt and Blaine moved out and followed their dream, which led them to Florida. I was so lonely in that massive apartment, in honesty I was longing for home, but scared of being labelled a failure, there was no one in my career or life to support me, I'd managed to alienate everyone, if nothing else dad got that right.
I hit rock bottom, constantly feeling sorry for myself, starving myself into oblivion, then one day, something in my brain clicked. I was sat in a wanton mess on my bathroom floor, sobbing into my phone trying to find someone, anyone, to talk to, my finger stopped the scroll on an old friend, we hadn't been in contact for nearly three years, but back then I considered her a friend. I pressed the call sign and listened to it ring, hoping this was still her number.
"Mercedes" I gasped when the ringing stopped "It's Rachel"
"Rachel?" she asked, I could hear it was busy in the background "What's happened?"
"Nothing" I started crying, and carried on until I was exhausted while she waited without saying a word "Everything's just gone wrong for me, I feel worthless"
"You know that's not true" her voice hummed at me like a warm blanket
"I don't know what to do" I moaned at her
"Go back home, recharge, get your mojo back, and then jump back in" Mercedes told me, it felt like she was the oracle, those few words from her and I knew whatever argument I was preparing was futile
"Home? Is that what you'd do?" there was a silence I didn't know what to do with, then it clicked, home had always meant something to her because he was there "Are you still seeing Sam?" the sorest point ever, but I'd never been one to beat around the bush
"Not really seeing him" her tone begging me to do a deeper probe, but this wasn't about her, it was about me, so I moved the conversation back to me. I went on for a while, ignoring the fact that Mercedes kept repeating herself, then I heard someone call her
"Was that your call?" I asked, knowing full well it was
"Yeah, I have to go"
"So, what am I going to do?" I asked again
"Go home Rachel" she shouted at me, she was right to do that because I wasn't listening to the solution, just ranting about what had happened to me, no matter how Mercedes tried to get me to focus I wasn't having it "Rachel" she screamed my name agitated "Go home" she told me when she grabbed the second of silence I took breath before carrying on, and then the phone was dead.
It took me a while to get things sorted in New York, I had to finish the lease on the apartment, get the furniture shipped, and arrange somewhere to stay back home, but six weeks, and a few short conversations with Mercedes later, I was on the train back home.
It had been a while, the place wasn't the same as it used to be, the last time I'd returned I'd single handedly got the club up and running again, well it might as well have been single handed for all the help Kurt was. That same year Mr S had taken up his new position in the school and everyone had flown the nest, everyone that was except for Sam. Like a bad penny, after throwing my bags in the middle of the floor at my new apartment, I headed to the school, eager to see if anything had changed, and of course if there was anything I could rekindle of my on and off relationship with Sam
"Hey" he smiled walking down the corridor towards me, that smile of his was so genuine, he was just a nice guy
"Sam" I grinned falling into his arms "I missed you" I looked up at him and pecked his lips
"Rachel" he pulled away "We're in school" he looked around at the prying eyes
"Sorry" I pulled away "Walking towards you like that, in this place, it brought us back" I looked up at him and everything flooded back
"That was five years ago" he reminded me
"Yeah, but we had something didn't we?"
"A friendship Rachel, we had a friendship"
"Come on Sam, it was more than that"
"Not for me it wasn't" his words cut through me like a knife "and if I remember rightly you left without as much as a hey"
"Sorry about that" I looked up at him, concerned that he hadn't hugged me back "Are you still in touch with Mercedes?"
"Not as often as I'd like" he replied
"Are you two together?"
"Not really together how you mean it"
"So, you're free, I'm free, let's do dinner" I smiled at him "Tonight?"
"I'll let you know" he looked around before walking off "I've got a class"
I knew from the look on his face he was still into Mercedes; I think everyone sort of knew they were endgame the number of times they'd stopped and started, and he'd never denied his feelings for her. But deja vu, this come back was all about me, I needed healing, I needed someone to love me, I needed to find something to focus on, so I went to work on him. Three weeks in and we'd become friends again, I guess, he saw that I needed help, and we all know Sam had always been a helper.
Outside of his work we spent a lot of time together, sometimes we'd get so caught up in our conversations I'd end up staying in his spare room. This one evening we were sat talking, well, I was talking he wasn't really in the mood, apparently, he had mood swings when he thought too much about a certain Miss Jones it seemed their communication was down to once every whenever she felt like it, if she ever did, or when he'd catch her off guard. I'd never been a drinker as such, but I brought the wine out that night, and by the morning we were naked in his bed together. It happened that one time, the coldness in the room that morning was upsettingly memorable, we never had a conversation about anything that happened that night, he was civil, but today I wouldn't say we were friends.
As always happens for me, I built myself back up got a gig in Miami and went off to do theatre for three years, again without so much as a goodbye, mistakenly forging a relationship with my co-star before ending that and moving on to Vegas. I was at a loose end when I called my dad, and he told me about Mercedes's dad being ill. Living in an apartment I couldn't afford without work, made the choice of going home a no brainer, besides I hadn't spoken to Sam or Mercedes for nearly three years, as I remember my last conversation with Sam was somewhat strained, while Mercedes had gone all the way and blocked me. I thought if I was standing in front of her, she couldn't ignore me, she'd have to tell me what it was she'd thought I'd done, and I could help her understand my point of view.
The reunion wasn't as emotional as I'd imagined she wasn't happy to see me, but what did I really expect, she'd been looking after her sick father for a week, hadn't left him for more than an hour at a time. That first day she did anything but stand still and talk to me, but the next day I invited myself to dinner, she didn't say no, because I asked in front of her dad, and she didn't want to upset him. She'd jumped at the chance to fetch desert, I knew it was to warn me off, but I had my argument ready, she was going to listen to me, and then we bump into the problem.
End of Rachel's Story
"You two aren't even a couple anymore, it's not like I'd be a third wheel" Rachel reminded her
"Actually, you would be, I need to talk to him"
"About?"
"None of your business"
"I want to talk to him too, we didn't leave thing very good"
"When?" Mercedes stopped walking to ask
"The last time I was home"
"Three years ago?"
"Yeah"
"You still think there's something between you two?" she started walking again
"I'm sort of feeling the waters"
"Stop feeling"
"Why are you into him?"
"Never mind what he and I are" Mercedes snapped back
"May the best woman win" she sassed letting go of Mercedes's arm aware they were potentially harbouring feelings for the same man
"Are you serious?" she looked into Rchel's eyes and saw that person she didn't think very much of "You know what?" she stopped walking again "I think we'll miss desert tonight" she turned to walk back to her car
"Mercedes don't be like that" she called after her knowing she wasn't about to stop, the woman knew her only too well, but why shouldn't she be the one to have the guy, the happy ever after, in her opinion men like Sam didn't know what they wanted until it was slapping them in the face, and she was happy to get her slap on.
Breadsticks
"Over here" Sam held his hand up when he saw Mercedes come in
"Hey" she smiled waving as she walked towards the counter
"I ordered already" he called to her "They're bringing them over"
"Okay" she made a b-line for the table he was sat at
Sam's Story
I was used to Mercedes's unusual requests, we'd split up physically but emotionally and mentally we were still endgame, we both knew it, until my massive fuck up. I'd put up with a lot from her, she'd split up on a whim, always be telling me what was in my head or my intentions, according to her brain, which was as frustrating as hell. But love was a funny thing, and I was deeply, madly, truly in it with her, regardless of the fact that she hadn't spoken to me for nearly four years.
It had all started with a call, she'd called me off the cuff irritated, but busy, I hadn't heard from her for nearly a year, "Sam" she gasped, the sound of her voice made me melt "I know you're not going to like this but..."
"No more Mercedes, I'm not compromising us anymore"
"I'm not asking you to" she whined "Actually, I'm asking the opposite"
"What's up?" I asked, happy yet concerned, could this be it, she's finally coming home
"Rachel..."
"Fuck no Mercedes, no"
"No, listen" she stopped me talking "I've just told her to go home, recharge, she didn't say it, but I think she's thinking shit's going down for you two"
"Didn't you put her straight?"
"Sam" she sighed "I'm over a thousand miles away"
"But she knows we're end game, doesn't she?"
"We know we're end game and that's all that matters, she'll want you to be her friend again, and I'm just giving you the heads up, she's on her way home" her voice full of sorry "Find yourself a girlfriend or something"
"You know I'm not going to do that" I sighed "When are you coming home again, it's been over two year?"
"I've just been so busy, as soon as I can, I will" she paused "But Sam..."
"I know technically we're not together Mercedes" I paused "But my heart won't believe that"
"Sam, I've got to go" I could hear the noise in the background, I didn't keep her, I said goodbye and that was it.
Three days later Rachel turned up at school being inappropriate as usual, I could tell she was going to be trouble, she was the type to catch a man off guard, I had to up my game with her, everything she said had a double meaning. We slowly became friends again, she was a distraction from the lonely nights that hadn't bothered me before, we'd go out to dinner, drinks, just having another adult that wasn't from work was enlightening.
It was Mercedes's birthday, and to be honest I'd expected a call, she hadn't said she would, but knowing Rachel was around I thought she'd be eager to know what was going on. It was already eight in the evening which meant it was past midnight for her, so I was pissed she hadn't taken the time to call. Rachel and I were on the couch eating pizza and talking old times, there were lots of people and events to talk about, there was nothing different about this Thursday night to any other.
"I don't usually, but I think we need some wine to get you out of your funk, what's up?" she got up and walked over to my drink's cabinet, grabbed two glasses and a bottle, and plonked herself back on my couch
"Maybe one" I agreed, she knew where the spare room was, and the boundaries
To this day I have no idea what happened that night, I just know for sure that we woke up, in my bed, naked, and that I was mortified. The first person I thought about was Mercedes, I was sitting at my dining table sipping a coffee, with the phone in my hand wondering how to say this to her when Rachel appeared at my bedroom door, it wasn't a scene I was planning on seeing again.
"Morning" she chirped
"It's seven in the morning, and I think you should leave" a bit blunt but that was how I was feeling
"No coffee?"
"No" I snapped "Please get dressed and leave, this was a mistake Rachel, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, but this can never happen again"
"Sam" she walked towards me, I felt my body recoil
"No" I held my hand out stopping her from getting close "Please leave" I raked my hand through my hair, disgusted with myself
I sat staring at the phone for the longest time, knowing I had to make the call but every fibre in my body not wanting to make it. I knew Rachel as soon as she was out of here, she'd be on the phone telling whoever she could that she'd just had sex with me, and I didn't want Mercedes finding out like that, as soon as the door closed behind her, I made the call.
"Sam" she shouted over the noise in her background "Sorry I'm in rehearsals, just a second" I sat quietly waiting for the noise to dim "What's she done now?" she laughed
"I'm" the words stuck in my throat, try as I might they wouldn't come out
"Are you alright"
"Mercedes, I'm sorry" I got out before an uncontrollable sob left my chest
"What happened?"
"I slept with Rachel" I spat out, the words bitter as they left my mouth
"What?" she gasped, her voice broke, and I felt my chest crack
"I slept with..." and then the phone went dead
I'd called many times since, but she hadn't picked up my calls, answered my messages, nothing, communication had stopped. Rachel left soon after that, Mr S gave me a right talking to, and since that day I've neither thought or spoken that girls name until today, I'd lost everything because of her, so imagine my surprise when I take a trip to the south side of the town to see Mercedes and her walking together as if nothing had happened. I needed answers, I wanted to know how she could forgive her and not me, when she knew in her heart, the girl had done it all on purpose.
End of Sam's Story
"Answer me this one question" Sam frowned as she got close
"I haven't forgiven her" she sat opposite him "I just don't feel like giving her the satisfaction of knowing she did something that hurt me"
"I know I hurt you"
"You did" there was a silence he felt he should use to beg for forgiveness, but she'd hate shit like that, "So" he looked up at their drinks arriving "You've been here for what a week and you didn't think to call me, let me know?"
"After my dad you were the first person I asked about, I heard you'd gone home" she leaned on the table "I'm still hurting to be honest" she frowned at him "But then there's this boy, sorry man, who promised me that whatever he was doing, whoever he was doing it with, he'd rather be doing it with me"
"Still stands" he smiled "I had this you fucked me off and I hate you for that speech ready for you" he laughed "And then you're standing in front of me and all I do is melt" he chuckled "You still do that to me"
"You still do that to me" she picked up her drink and smiled at the music playing "Oh" she closed her eyes "It Might Be You' by Roberta Flack, this is my jam" she shook her head to the pending rhythm
Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by, all of my life
Lying on the sand watching sea birds fly, wishing there would be someone waiting home for me
Something's telling me it might be you, it's telling me it might be you, all of my life...
"Might it be me?" he asked
"Apparently there's someone not too far from here who thinks it might be them."
"She can forget that" he huffed
"Humour her"
"No"
"Please?"
"No"
"What happened to you melting?"
"For you, not her, I can't go back there"
"Go back where?" Rachel was stood at their table imposing herself
"To" Sam started to tell her he wasn't up for pretending to be someone he wasn't for her
"The past" Mercedes butted in "He said he didn't want to go back to the past"
"Futures" Rachel smiled inviting herself to sit next to him "I've been thinking"
"I have too" Mercedes added "About a conversation where I told you Sam and I needed to talk"
"I gave you guys time to talk" she waved her hand in the air blowing the comment off "So, Sam" her attention shifted "I needed to apologise for the way I left"
"No apology needed" he smiled at her "I was relieved you left"
"You don't mean that" she frowned at him
"We're all grown now, and to be honest I learned a while ago I needed to be straight with people so" he looked at Mercedes "Here's my truth" he turned to Rachel again
"But I thought..." she looked at Mercedes "I have feelings for you Sam"
"I'm truly sorry, but I can't do anything about that" he looked at Mercedes "Maybe you need closure on the Finn and Quinn situation, you should go see them, have it out and then, maybe, you'll be able to move on"
"This isn't about Finn"
"It's not about me either" Sam snapped before closing his eyes to calm himself down "Mercedes and I are a couple, we've always been a couple, I cheated on her with you and we're trying to put things back together, could you please give us some time?"
"I thought you weren't going back to the past?"
"Mercedes and I have never been in the past"
"That's why you stopped speaking to me" Rachel looked at Mercedes shocked "But you said"
"Privacy please Rachel" Mercedes hissed
"I'm sorry Mercedes, I truly am" she touched her hand with sincerity
"We're over it" Mercedes rolled her eyes telling the girl "I'll call you tomorrow"
"Are we over it?" he asked
"Listen" she picked her cup up chuckling "This world is a harsh bitch, the one thing I've learned from being out there is that it's alright to love someone, but when you put them on a pedestal so high you can't reach them yourself, it's time to reflect" she put her cup down and grabbed his hand
"I can reach you" he smiled
"Back then I thought your love was just too much for me, stifling even, but now I've had time to grow into it, seeing you again today, I know I love you the same way, just for different reason"
"What do you mean?"
"You put your life on hold for me, I'd never thought of doing that, because I wanted to fulfil the dream you had for me, I feel that's how I showed you my love, achieving what you expected of me" she smiled "You gave, I received"
"That's how this thing works" he looked at her puzzled
"So" she smiled at him "Now I want to focus on the dream we have for us"
"You're ready?" he smiled "I wasn't expecting this"
"Neither was I" Rachel sighed
"Marriage, house, yard, kids?" Sam asked Mercedes
"All of the above" she giggled "And don't forget the dogs"
"Mercedes Jones" he laughed throwing his hands in the air at his victory
"Sam Evans" she giggled "Don't be fooled by this hard exterior, I melt with you too"