Part 6 - Staircase
It was slightly cooler from his vantage point up on the rocky, arid plateau overlooking the port, but Athrun still had to swipe flies out of his eyes.
They were stationed on the remote north-western coast of the Oceanic Union, on the other side of the ancient continent from the Carpentaria Base. The focus of their investigation was on an industrial mining port and nearby township home to a transient population of dockworkers and sailors.
The reason for being in such an isolated place was because Terminal had acquired information Blue Cosmos was planning an attack on the more populated east coast and intended to use this port as a point of entry onto the continent. While Blue Cosmos' recent attacks had been occurring without a mothership, the aggressor mobile suits were still receiving on the ground support.
They had been there for days with Meyrin using the Cavalier's surveillance technology to monitor the surrounding seas and skies; and Athrun covertly watching movements in and out of the port.
Watching…and waiting.
It was quiet and vast here. An endless rust-coloured desert abutting warm, turquoise seas.
OOO
At the end of the second week, despite having nothing yet to report, they checked-in with Orb to provide an update.
Sai and Miriallia appeared on screen. But there was no Cagalli.
"Where is Representative Attha?" Athrun asked. He was surprised Cagalli wasn't there. While it wasn't unusual for her to miss a briefing, the proximity of Orb to the Oceanic Union meant she usually took a specific interest in anything to do with this region.
Sai, an uneasy look immediately crossing his face, was more transparent than Miriallia, who breezily said "Representative Attha is unavailable today,".
Athrun looked harder at Sai, who was wringing his hands. Even though he knew he was overstepping lines, he pressed "Why is she unavailable?".
There was a brief silent standoff between Athrun and Miriallia, but Miri knew Athrun well enough to know he wasn't going to leave it alone. She cast a disparaging look sideways at Sai.
"Okay, listen, she's fine," Miri gritted out, implicitly warning Athrun to not overreact. "….but she did have a small medical procedure two days ago,".
"What?!".
"A ruptured appendix…it came on very suddenly, but they caught it in time and removed it straight away. She's recovering in hospital now,".
Athrun kept an ominously steely silence. Miri held her nerve and continued. "Due to developments abroad and the lack of progress to date, Representative Attha requests that you cease this mission and redeploy to Eurasia…"
"No, it's too soon," Athrun shook his head. "I know we haven't found anything yet, but something is going on here,". He was sure of it.
"The situation in Eurasia is deteriorating rapidly, spreading well beyond the situation with the Foundation," Sai chimed in. "We all need a better understanding of what is happening,".
"In any event, it's an order Captain Zala," Miriallia reiterated.
Athrun abruptly ended the video call.
Miri flicked Sai on the forehead. "Nice poker face! Where did all that diplomatic training go?" she chided, and then inwardly thought sorry Cagalli…
OOO
Meyrin watched wide-eyed as Athrun pulled out his personal tablet and stabbed at it with quiet fury.
She wanted to tell him to stop – they weren't supposed to use any use any form of electronic communications while actively on mission outside the highly protected channels of the Cavalier – but he already looked like he was about to explode.
Cagalli answered straight away. It was clear she was still in a hospital room, most likely with her own tablet sitting on her lap in the bed. The harsh artificial hospital lights were dimmed; it was evening now in Orb. Piles of papers were strewn around her. She was hooked up to an intravenous drip.
"Athrun, what's wrong?" she asked immediately, worried by the unexpected contact.
But as soon as she saw the look on Athrun's face, she sighed. "Oh geez…sorry about this, can I please have some privacy?" she said to someone offscreen, presumably Toyah.
Once she was alone, she started with "Athrun, I'm…".
"Withdraw the order for us to redeploy," Athrun stated forcefully.
That's what Athrun opens with? No 'how are you', 'are you okay', or 'that must have been scary'? Meyrin was bewildered.
Cagalli was a little taken aback too. "What…?".
"It's too soon. If you pull us out, and an attack goes ahead like the intelligence suggests, it would be catastrophic,".
Cagalli put a palm to her forehead, trying to stay measured. "I understand your frustration. But our intelligence services and Terminal's agents are stretched as it is, and Eurasia looks like it's on the brink…it's not that we're not worried about the possibility of an attack there either, but I have to make decisions about how to deploy limited resources. You and Meyrin can't be two places at once".
"I'm telling you it's not a good idea,".
"But you haven't found anything to back that up?".
"Something isn't right here. Give us another fortnight," Athrun continued, his voice still heated.
"Athrun…urgh," Cagalli twisted, wincing in pain.
Something then snapped in Athrun, and he burst out angrily. "Why are you still working? Don't you know how dangerous a ruptured appendix is!?".
She rolled her eyes at that. "I've got a fair idea now, thanks,".
"You are too reckless Cagalli," Athrun growled fiercely, almost like a wounded animal.
"I'm reckless!?" she hit back incredulously. "Coming from you…".
"That's not what I mean!" Athrun shook his head, clenching his fists, frustrated. He knew words weren't coming to him properly, that what he was saying wasn't coming out how he intended.
Meyrin – who was quietly backing her way out towards the door – was gobsmacked. She had never seen Athrun like this, the only memory coming close that time he hit Shinn after the Freedom went down. She twittered she would be in her sleeping quarters, but he wasn't paying her any attention.
Athrun's forehead creases deepened. "Does Kira know?" he asked in a low voice.
"What the hell has that got to do with anything?".
"Does he!?".
"Yes, of course he knows – he's my next of kin if anything happens to me!".
It was utterly stupid, but it was like he'd been punched in the gut. "If that's where I stand, maybe you could ask Kira to keep me in the loop if he is always going to be the one you go to!".
Cagalli looked for a moment like she was going to roar back, but instead she blew her hair out of her eyes and let out a defeated sigh. "You can be really mean when you're angry, Athrun,". Exhaustion flooded her voice, like she was unwell, like she had emergency surgery less than 48 hours ago…
Athrun felt a wave of awfulness come over him. They both fell silent, the background noises of the hospital crackling through his tablet.
He chanced a look at her. She was cradling her arms, looking downwards. A beam of moonlight through the window illuminated her features, making her golden hair go silver. She somehow still looked so pretty.
"I know I still have a long way to go…but I want to be the person you go to first," he said quietly. He knew how pathetic he must sound.
But Cagalli's eyes flitted up to meet his through the screen, and her cheeks instantly went red. It was cute. Oh, Cagalli.
Cagalli bowed her head again, silently thinking things over. "You have three days," she said. "…and I'll take the same as rest leave,". It was her peace offering.
"Thank you,".
She smiled mutedly. "It was pretty awful, hopefully something you won't ever have to experience,".
"Coordinators don't have appendixes, Cagalli," the pedantic, nagging words left his mouth before he could stop them.
"Right. Of course. Well, good luck on your end. Let's check in next week,". And with that, Cagalli terminated the call.
OOO
Athrun stayed sitting in his chair for some time afterwards.
Eventually, Meyrin returned. "I was looking up some information about appendicitis. Poor Representative Attha, it's apparently excruciating," she said, twisting the knife.
Athrun mumbled that he was going to go outside for a walk, get some fresh air. Meyrin agreed that was a good idea.
Night was starting to fall, and the desert air was cool but not cold.
He felt bad. Really bad. He had been completely insensitive, again.
The sounds of gentle waves lapping sand caught his ears. He had unthinkingly wandered through the low coastal shrub to the shoreline. Without anything man-made in sight, the desert, ocean and stars all felt open and infinite.
And then a full radiant moon started to rise above the horizon. As the moon gradually lifted through the sky, something unexpected happened – the gold-silver light glowed against a rocky tidal plain, creating an ethereal staircase that seemed to reach back up to the moon. The moonbeams reflecting against the black ocean changed the colour of the night sky, and it was almost like daytime.
The same moon hung over Orb right now, shining through Cagalli's hospital window. He imagined her sleeping form, hoped she was getting some rest.
Athrun was so taken by the spectacular sight that he almost missed the pinpoint red light flickering rapidly towards the north on the horizon – timing its move for now, as if it was assuming the whole world would be distracted by this captivating natural phenomenon.
He narrowed his eyes. Got you.
OOO
It was a welcome change being able to successfully prevent an attack from being launched this time rather than trying to stop it mid-action. After some quick diplomatic work led by Lacus with the PLANTS using the evidence they had gathered, the Blue Cosmos vessel was seized by the Archangel on behalf of COMPS and taken into custody by the Oceanic Union.
"Amazing work,". Cagalli felt a sense of satisfaction as she conveyed the outcome back to Athrun and Meyrin from their respective Cavaliers. It was like the potential of COMPS was finally being realised.
"President Clyne also passes on her thanks," she added, and inwardly chucked, as Meyrin seemed to stand taller and beamed.
As the briefing wound up, Athrun asked for a private word with Cagalli. Knowing, rather than curious, looks were exchanged this time.
Athrun gave her a tentative smile once they were alone. "Are you feeling better?".
"Much better, thank you" she smiled in return to reassure him.
"That's good,".
They stayed like that for a while, smiling at each other.
It was the first time they had been in contact since she was in hospital. Cagalli recalled how wild‑eyed Athrun was then. His anger was masking his hurt and his worry, she understood that.
She understood, but that didn't mean she hadn't wanted to scream back at him – Who are you to speak to me like that?! Why are you like this when it comes to me!? Why do you care so much?!
Somehow though, she had swallowed the words, confronted simultaneously by the unavoidable fact that she had been scared too. The pain had come on so suddenly, so intensely, she had keeled over in the middle of a Cabinet meeting. Before she knew it, she was being rushed into an operating theatre, with anaesthetic being administered into her arm.
The last thought she had before helplessly falling into that deep, artificial sleep was how much she wished Athrun was there. To not be alone when she woke. She wished she could just tell him that.
But it was not that easy. They couldn't be there for each other like that. Not now, not yet.
(Remember when he was near fatally injured in the Justice, fighting to protect Orb? You knew the extent of his wounds. You made your choice. How could you expect anything more from him?).
"Cagalli," Athrun interrupted her wandering thoughts. "I got you this, but I'm not sure when I am going to be able to post it,".
He held up a postcard to the screen describing it as the 'staircase to the moon'. He explained to her what it was, what he had seen.
"I wish I had been able to take a real picture, but things moved quickly…".
Cagalli leans in closer to look at the image. "Wow, that's really beautiful,".
"Yeah. It only happens a few times a year,".
"You were lucky then!".
Athrun paused and laughed wryly at that, thinking of the circumstances that led him to be in the right spot at the right time. "Yeah, I guess, I was,".
He continued. "Actually, it made me think of you,".
"Why?" Cagalli looked at him with an innocent smile.
"Well," Athrun stopped and thought for a moment. "Just it's something that looks impossible – you can't walk to the moon. It's silly to even think about it,". You can't walk to the moon; you can't achieve disarmament, or a free and peaceful future. They are desires of deluded dreamers.
"But then I thought, if anyone could do it, it was you,".
"Cagalli," Athrun looked like he was trying very hard to be very careful with the next words he said. "What if I was to say I would be by your side, every step of the way?".
"To the moon?" she tried to jest lightly, but her voice was cracking.
"To wherever you are going,".
Even though her insides were burning, Cagalli forced herself to really consider what he was saying. To be brave enough to look inside her heart to find the most truthful answer she could give him.
"If that was the case…it would make me very happy,".
That night Cagalli dreamed of standing at the edge of an obsidian ocean with Athrun, holding his hand, gazing together at a shimmering pathway to the moon.
A/N: The "staircase to the moon" is a real natural phenomenon that happens off the coast of Broome, Western Australia (there are some beautiful images of it on the internet).
(I really wanted to include a backhanded compliment from Lacus to Athrun (via Cagalli) in this chapter, but I just couldn't land it – Lacus' dialogue is so layered and hard to write!)