Painty: Are you ready, kids?

Aye-aye, Captain

Painty: I can't hear you

Aye aye, Captain

Painty: Oooh

Painty:Who lives in a monument under the sea?

Squidward Tentacles!

Painty: Obnoxious, abrasive, conceited is he?

Squidward Tentacles!

Painty: If practical commonsense be something you wish?

Squidward Tentacles! Squidward Tentacles.. Squidwarddddddddds Tentacles

(One year before he met SpongeBob)

The minutes crawled by slower than dying starfish as Squidward rang up order after order. His fingers ached from the register keys and his eyes stung from the grease popping in the fryers.

Another dreary afternoon in the pits of scum that was the Krusty Krab. When would he find the courage to ditch this dump? As he idly brushed his long blonde locks from his face, a crumpled flier caught his gaze.

The Bubble Bowl was next month. His chance at the big time, striking it rich as a clarinet virtuoso instead of a grease monkey. But could he survive another paycheck from that shriveled crustacean called a boss?

"Squidward, order up!" Jim shouted, bags under his bloodshot eyes. They worked themselves to the bone for slaps in the face. At least Jim had the balls to step out for a smoke and a curse between rushes.

Speak of the devil, old Krabs came sidling over with squinty eyes. "Today's the day for yer weekly breadcrumbs, boy-o."

Squidward's guts twisted as he took the note. One goddamn penny stared back at him, a slap to his swollen pride. Krabs' meaty chuckle as he tossed Jim's pay stoked the fury higher.

Outside, Jim lit up furiously. "This tightwad's taking the piss! We gotta bounce, man, before the fumes fry our brains for good."

Squidward took a long, bitter drag, letting the smoke cloud his dilemma. But through the haze, a reckless plan began simmering in his mind. Something extreme to give the finger to Krabs once and for all.

He spat ash and fixed Jim with a look. "Can you believe this asshole".

It was finally closing time and Squidward cranked up the boatmobile and rode off into the night, its headlights cutting through the inky sea. Another soul-crushing close at the Krusty Krab - he needed to dull the pain.

He cruised down to Mr. Jones' Auto Emporium, a rundown garage that hid murky dealings under its hood. "Evening, Squid. Same shit with Krabs I reckon?" Jones drawled, smoking a hand-rolled dogfoot.

Squidward scoffed. "That penny-pinching parasite never fails to remind us who's really getting fucked. Any word on that gig?"

Jones polished the headlight pensively. "Promoter fell through, but I know a backalley jam you might like. Bring that clarinet, keep your ears open."

With that, Squidward hit the road, lights off, darting through backwaters at reckless speeds. A dirty habit to clear his cluttered mind.

He arrived home to an empty sea mail slot. No one gave a damn about his talents. As sleep pulled him under, ghostly melodies swirled in his dreams. One day the world would hear his siren song, not this tuneless drone.

But first, that underground show awaited. And who knew what opportunity lay beyond the rundown doorway, what silver lining in these late hours under a wicked moon? Then he heard a knock.

Squidward rubbed his bleary eyes as he cracked open the door. "Jim, it's the ass-crack of dawn, this better be good."

But one look at Jim's hollowed gaze had him stepping aside wordlessly. They sunk into the lumpy sofa as the first rays of daylight crept in.

"Look man, I know the drill's been getting old." Jim sparked a smoke, eyes darting restlessly. "But Krabs ain't fucking around no more. Last month I had to strong-arm Hank just to keep a roof."

Squidward sighed deep, hands shaking a lil caffeine. Nodding at Jim's outstretched pack, he dragged deep to steady frazzled nerves.

This penny-pinching punk was grinding them down to bones, but walking was no guarantee either. Still, how much more abuse could they reasonably absorb?

As smoke swirled in stressed silence, Squidward gazed into the hazy unknown. Jim followed his far-off eyes knowingly. "Just... think on it, yeah? I know a guy who might front us a shot, if you're down."

Squidward exhaled slow, mulling the ragged road ahead versus familiar drudgery. One path led into shadows, the other certain slow decay. Which desperate play would he roll the dice on?

The next day, Squidward sighed, scrubbing his freshly bald head. Opening a restaurant with Jim was a big risk, even if Krabs' penny wages weren't paying shit anymore.

"Think about it, man," Jim insisted, tapping ashes in a Folgers can. "Your musician dreams could blow up, or blow away. But this place could be ours."

Squidward frowned, unconvinced. Then suddenly, all his golden locks dissolved onto the grimy floor. _Just fucking perfect._

"While you pick out your new look," Jim snickered, "I'm gonna have words with Krabs." He swaggered toward the office, cracking his knuckles.

Squidward lit a smoke, listening to the muffled shouting match escalate. Clearly Jim was at the end of his rope with the cheapskate boss.

Suddenly, Jim exploded from the office, tossing his apron in disgust. "I quit, fuck this clown show!" He glared at Squidward. "You coming or what?"

Squidward hesitated, eyeing the empty seat next to his. Starting over was scary, but losing himself to this soul-crushing rut may be worse.

He wanted to but he couldn't. Maybe he was a coward like he thought. He nodded no. Jim then left.

(One year later)

Been a rough couple of weeks since Jim left. I questioned myself, am I a fucking coward. I didn't leave with Jim, the moment was right there but I got cold feet. I even thought about ending my life. This sad patheic life. I had to talk myself out of the ledge lots of times. Maybe no one would miss me or even know i existed. May one day i would have the courage. Many sleepless nights thinking, i wasn't any good, that i was a fucking coward, all the names i called myself. No other employee could lace Jim's boots. The last one died on the job while cooking. He was old. As I was doing my gardening. I felt a Pineapple come out of nowhere. As it landed on top of me, it was a giant pineapple. As I got out of it, it has a door. This was fucking strange. As i went outside, i saw a talking cheese or something. He then hugged me tight, I tried to get out of his grip,

"Baha-ha. Hey, I'm SpongeBob. Looks like we are gonna be neighbors. We're gonna have some great nights together" said SpongeBob.

"Looks like we are" said Squidward sarcasticilly. Just then, Squidward knew his life was gonna very different... For the worst