Current team:
- Monke.
- Birb.
- Betsie.
- Tails.
- Wayward.
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As soon as I heal my Pokémon, my thirst for grunt tears grows exponentially, and thus I enter Team Galactic's base to fight. My team must be as bloodthirsty as me, because we easily wipe the floor with the grunts' repetitive NPC faces, and thus we encounter commander Jupiter. Finally a slightly different face to punch!
Her Zubat nearly kills Tails, but Birb steps in and murders it instead, then Monke easily kicks the Skuntank's butt-face thingy.
Team Galactic leaves, and the guy who had been held hostage tells me to go meet him at the bike store, which I gladly do after healing my Pokémon once again, and then he gives me a bike.
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I enter Route 211, where I catch a Bidoof and name him Pomf.
As I am about to go down a woman stops me, all because of my convenient lack of an Explorer Kit. She tells me to go visit a guy who lives next to the Pokémon Center in order to get one, and gives me no choice but to obey.
The guy is called Underground Man (fun fact: in Spanish for some reason they name him "Hombre Topo", aka, Mole Man) gives me the aforementioned gear and challenges me to do some missions.
First, he tells me to go to the underground, and as soon as I do so, I find Roark, who has totally recovered from his well-deserved defeat and doesn't seem to remember he was responsible for Echo's early demise. Instead, he gives me a dudebro greeting, then starts spinning and floats upwards. How cursed.
My next mission is digging. It's annoying how there are traps everywhere, but I manage to dig a bunch of stuff, including a fossil, which I can't wait to revive.
He then tells me to burry a gem like I am some kind of dog, but again, I have no choice.
As soon as he tells me to make a secret base I choose to leave instead and return to Oreburgh in order to get my new Pokémon (which, come to think of it, if it's been revived, does it count as some kind of zombie?), and thus I take the shortcut in order to get there.
There's this brief encounter with the professor's assistant, who gives me two new Pokétch apps and then skedaddles.
I leave Pomf in the box in order to get my newly revived Shieldon (it's not necromancy, it's science) and happily name him Sheldon.
Oh, and, about the secret base? Yeah, I completely forgot. It's not like it will do anything for the nuzlocke anyways.
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I make it to Route 206, where I discover that Wayward absolutely hates My Little Ponyta, because she murders in cold blood the one I am right about to catch.
Then we make it to Wayward Cave (pun unintended), where a Bronzor keeps putting my Pokémon to sleep, so, as soon as I catch him, I name him Sandman.
In Mount Coronet I find the leader of Team Galactic, who gives me a sermon about how awful humans are (he's not wrong, but he's an even more awful human), and then he pushes me aside and retreats, like the self-entitled scumbag he is. You KICK Nigra? You kick her body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Cyrus! Jail for Cyrus for One Thousand Years!!!!
On Route 208 I catch a Psyduck and name him Jake.
I enter Hearthome city, and conveniently stop a guy's Buneary from running away. She tells me she is one of the Auditorium's judges, and asks me to go there so that she can properly thank me.
On my way there, I cross paths with Fantina, who is the gym leader of Hearthome City (who is also a contest prodigy), but she says I must only face her once I am stronger, aka, after having beaten other gym leaders. I remember her from my childhood: her Mismagius and her Drifblim used to crush my teams back then (in fact, that's part of why I grew to love Mismagius, so elegant and ominous and powerful, my fear and dread of it became admiration, and then love), so I know I'll have to seeiously grind before facing her.
I enter the auditorium and... What is my mom doing here?! Ooh, turns out her name is Johanna, which is much nicer than the one in Spanish (Casilda). I'll continue calling her Umbrella Milf though.
Anyways, the judge who wanted to thank me does so by giving me a bunch of glitter. Gee, thanks.
And then my mom gives me a frilly dress before skedaddling. I think she must have been a fan of magical girls back in the day, because she's trying to turn me into one it seems.
After peeking into the Pokémon Fanclub, the president of it gives me a Poffin Case, and thus I proceed to bake a crap ton of poffins and feed them all to Wayward, who dreams of being a contest superstar, and thus a small detour is justified to pamper my child.
Once she wins a clever contest though, we can forget and move on... Except we can't move on too far because Abortion decides to waste my time with yet another combat, which I easily win.
On Route 209 I catch a Bonsly and name her Baby, and shortly after some dude gives me a fishing rod.
Sad times arrive when some random trainer's bidoof proceeds to murder Birb in cold blood, who is immediately avenged by Tails. That random trainer not only happens to be a bimbo, but also her whole team is formed by bidoofs. Once Monke angrily oneshots them all she goes "pretty people like you have pretty Pokémon, it's logic" and I'm like "SHUT UP YOU BIRD MURDERER".
Jake then joins the team, which means there's lots of grinding left to do, but first we need a pallet cleanser, so I take him to Amity Square because I am so fucking done.
After a wholesome time some dude gives me an egg, which means... Jake is back in the box.
Fighting a Bonsly, the guy randomly falls asleep... And then it wakes up and nearly kills Sheldon! ...so Tails crushes it.
In the Lost Tower I am about to catch a Gastly, but Wayward oneshots it, probably afraid of being replaced. Don't worry, my beautiful child, I could never replace you. QvQ ...and once I reach the top, I receive the move Strength.
In Solaceon Ruins I catch a D-shaped Unown, and thus name them Dee.
A woman in a house nearby gives me a Seal Case, and her son adds in some seals that start with D because of the Unown I just caught.
Shortly after, the egg hatches into a Happiny, whom I fondly name Millie.
I reach the Daycare Center and shove in Baby and Jake so that they can level up in case any of my other mon dies.
As I am grinding my team, a wild geodude self-detonates and kills Tails?! That's uncalled for!
Shortly after, on Route 210, I catch a Ponyta and name her Nightmare, who steps into the team.
Also a dude gives me a Poketch app to be able to vibe check on the Pokémon I placed in the Daycare Center.
...and then on Route 215 a wild Kadabra kills Nightmare, but I immediately catch him and name him Exorcist, because, he killed the nightmare, haha puns, I'm giving up on life.
And then Betsie evolves!
I make it to Veilstone City, but my team still needs to train a bunch.
While training a Cricketune kills Sheldon using bide, and Exorcist avenges him. This Kadabra is so full of ironies.
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The Nuzlocke rules never specified how many Pokémon one can get from the Underground, given that it has different areas as well, so, in order to get an excuse to find another fossil, I return to the Underground Man, and accept some more missions.
I make a base and decorate it only with plushies (this says a oot about me), and then I go to revive the new fossil I found, whom I name Leonard, going with a Big Bang Theory theme.
Poor Millie is still a baby, so I switch her with Jace in the Daycare Center... AND THEN A FUCKING PONYTA CRIT ONESHOTS JAKE WTF?!
...Leonard avenges him. Sigh.
On Route 214 I fish a Goldeen and call him Mellow... WHO IS KILLED BY ANOTHER FUCKING PONYTA
NOW I SEE WHY WAYWARD HATES THEM SO MUCH
And then, while training, a Geodude kills Leonard. Fucking why. Monke is so tired of avenging my Pokémon.
...anyways, I get another fossil and call it Howard, and also pick up Baby from the Daycare Center.
Then a fun thing happens: Howard yses dig, and while he is underground, a geodude self-destroys. XD Nice one. Perfectly calculated.
Baby evolves into Sudowoodo.
Another cool thing happens with Howard: he beats a shieldon 5 levels above his. I am proud.
Near Lake Valor I catch a Jirafarig and name him Jeremie.
Another pokémon self-detonates while Howard is underground. This time it's a Graveler.
...and then another geodude does it again.
Ah yes, gotta love the time a Cricketune tries to sing your mon to sleep, but fails 4 times in a row.
...and more wild Pokémon keep self-destroying. What has life become. XD
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I manage to bring all my team to level 30, and Howard evolves. Just like that, it's time to face the gym leader of Veilstone City: Maylene.
The team does pretty well, easily beating the trainers before her, and taking care of each other's backs once the battle against her begins.
Sadly Exorcist dies in the battlefield, ensuring the victory for us all. I have forgotten how exactly that happened, but his sacrifice will definitely be remembered.
...by the way, who was Exorcist again?
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RIP Birb.
RIP Tails.
RIP Nightmare.
RIP Sheldon.
RIP Jake.
RIP Mellow.
RIP Leonard.
RIP Exorcist.