Chapter Fifty-nine – 'Sunk cost'
"Wakey wakey, old man." Jasper was rudely interrupted again from a deep sleep by a lowly guard banging a baton against his cell. "Time to go see what it will cost you to be a free man today."
This was music to Jasper's ears. He had been stuck in here for almost two days, so freedom should be right around the corner.
"Thirty seconds, let's move Beardly." The guard relentlessly shouted. "I want you gone as much as you want to be gone."
It was true. There was a strange new world outside these walls, in which Jasper had only explored a very small piece of. Two dice rolls and he was arrested and brought to jail. Never would he have guessed that entering Burns' game would have led to a temporary life behind bars.
"Opening Beardly's cell. Stand by." The guard yelled, gaining the attention of every inmate watching television and the guards in the upper control and observation room. "The Warden says no matter what happens, you are leaving today, right now, so pack your personal items and follow me."
He tossed a bag into the cell, and Jasper began to look around. There was nothing to clear out because all his stuff had been confiscated at intake, including the MyPad. "I'll get that back at least." He thought. "Then I can get out of here and hopefully never come back."
This was the best-case scenario. The knowledge gained from staying in the jail would be valuable if he ever ran into any of the other players. It couldn't be good for his game to have effectively missed three turns in a row this early.
"Nothing in the bag?" The guard questioned. He shrugged and led Jasper out of the cell to say goodbye to several inmates, who decided television was better than whatever meal was being served. The guard's heart lightened momentarily. "I'll give you a few minutes to say bye. Come out this door whenever you are ready."
This was the opportunity everyone had waited for. There were no guards on the floor in the multilevel cellblock, and the ones in the upper room weren't the most observant.
"Here's the plan." Chester started. "I took the Master Key from The Warden last night. He knows I have it, and there is nothing he can do about it. This prison is a hundred years old and uses manual keys instead of electronic locking devices, so..." He turned toward Jasper. "Terwiliger said he was working on something and gave it to you."
Jasper's remembered the final handshake of the night and the piece of paper contained in it. "Be right back." Jasper excused himself and retrieved the plan from underneath his mattress.
"Interesting..." Chester said as he looked at the plan and passed it to his left. "Did you read it?"
Jasper frowned at the dumb question. "Of course I did. You don't go into battle without a plan." Why would Sideshow Bob let him be the second set of eyes on it and not expect him to read it? "A good inside job needs a good outside man."
"Very true." Another inmate added while he whistled at the level of detail listed on the sheet.
"You better be a hundred percent in after seeing the plan. In fact, anyone here seeing the plan better be all in." Chester immediately spat out. "I'm not getting caught because someone chickened out and alerted the guards."
The other inmates looked nervous. Breaking out of prison was a life-and-death situation, whether it was real in Springfield or real inside Burns' made-up world.
"We live or die with this plan, so everyone better understand and rehearse it before tomorrow night." Chester glanced at the paper again to get any minute details he may have missed. "Blah, blah, meet at midnight... cool!"
He was pleased with the idea and the way Sideshow Bob had drawn it up. This was their opportunity for freedom. Everyone took a long look at Jasper as the impatient guard reentered the cellblock. "Time's up!" He pointed to Jasper and gave the 'come here' signal. "Let's go."
"Let me know how the plan works out." Jasper whispered, not knowing if he would ever to find out. If he came back to jail one day and all the inmates in this room were missing, then he could guess it had succeeded. "I'll see you all on the other side..."
"Don't plan on seeing these people again, you are better than that." The guard stated, as he shut and locked the cellblock door. "They aren't your friends."
Jasper shrugged as they turned a corner and went through another locked door, then around another set of corners. "I can say that, this is more of a prison tour than I've ever had. So many hallways and twists and turns."
"I would be willing to bet in your long life, you have never been arrested before." The guard assumed. "I'd also be willing to guess..."
"I'll take it from here." A very stern voice was heard when they rounded the net corner. "Let's go down to the basement and have a word." The Warden surprised Jasper and the guard, who would have run if he wasn't leading an inmate. "You may go back to your post. Dismissed." The Warden gave a direct order as the guard turned white before running away. "This way."
Jasper complied by taking an extended tour of the jail, which he hoped to never visit again. The Warden led the way to a locked door stating 'Authorized Personnel Only', then took out a blue key and unlocked it. On the other side was a concrete stairwell leading into a dingy basement.
The Warden was right, and Jasper wondered if he would ever see the light of day again.
It was a typical basement with all the standard industrial equipment: furnaces, boilers, hot water heaters, washers, dryers, steam presses, and trash incinerators. Nothing surprised Jasper, he had all of this in the dark basement at the Springfield Retirement Castle, but there were servants to do all the residents' laundry.
"We meet again." The Warden spoke to an object with the silhouette of a worn-out broom.
"Likewise." Sideshow Bob answered.
"Fortress of solitude? Wait..." The gears were turning. "How did you get down here?"
Robert Terwiliger smiled the most devilish grin. "A good magician never reveals his tricks."
"Three days in the hole would argue otherwise." The Warden offered. "You better not be planning anything." Again, he just smiled at The Warden. "This way to the laundry."
"Bye bye for now." And Sideshow Bob disappeared into the shadows.
The Warden shivered as the basement gave him the creeps. "The less I could be down here, the better. You think Sideshow Bob is up to something?" The Warden asked Jasper, who knew what the escape plan was and when it would start. But Jasper pushed this information to the back of his mind because he was planning on seeing the outside world in a few minutes.
Jasper shrugged and continued to follow The Warden. "Beats me. That guy seems a sandwich short of a picnic." It didn't take much for Jasper to play dumb. A senior citizen hiding a plot to escape the prison wouldn't be someone's first guess. "How long until I get released?" Jasper changed the subject to cover his hide, so The Warden wouldn't ask any more questions.
"Should be shortly. I grabbed your MyPad to speed up the process." The Warden showed it to him as he unzipped his coat. "The receptionist gave it to me to bring down here. I can't use it, only you can, so there's no need to worry about any of the other inmates stealing it."
That was a sigh of relief. He did wonder if no one could use it but him, why did it have to be confiscated at the front? "So it's mine now...?" This was his only possession inside the jail, and the silver battleship was on the outside of the jail. What a strange world to wander through with only the clothes on his back.
The basement had as many twists and turns as the main floor, but the laundry room finally appeared as their destination. Located deep in the basement, where only certain inmates knew where it was. Ten washers, ten dryers, and five folding tables decorated the lint-filled room. "The vents haven't worked in ages." The Warden lightened the mood.
"How has there never been a fire in here? Got a match? One flame and this whole place would be an inferno." Even more reason for Jasper to minimize his time down here. "The concrete walls would make this a heated tunnel capable..."
"Let's make this quick then..." The Warden pulled a white sheet off a recognizable stone statue. "I had to hide it down here once the inmates found it and started playing hide-and-seek with it. I was told this is the most important part of the game."
"So far, these things have brought me nothing but trouble." Jasper was and felt like he was in last place. Zero properties, zero additional money, and more than zero hours in jail. "I just want to actually play this game."
The Warden gestured to the stone, and it was time for Jasper to begin playing. He placed his MyPad into the statue's hands, and a black hologram appeared, just the same as the last two times.
"Greetings." The hologram started in its usual way. "And welcome to your third and final chance to leave The Jail without paying your way out. It's simple, roll doubles and walk out a free man. Don't, and incur a fifty dollar penalty as a processing fee plus to cover the cost of room and board for the last day and a half..."
"I never got my Salisbury Steak." Jasper corrected the hologram.
"In any case... roll, and I wish you thrice the amount of good luck I did last time."
It was now or never. Jasper said a quick, silent prayer and approached the MyPad. Slowly, he raised his finger to press the Roll icon as The Warden and the hologram watched in anticipation. Several images flashed before stopping on an eleven.
"Bad luck again old man. That'll cost you fifty dollars. Farewell." The black hologram disappeared. Jasper collected the MyPad and placed it in The Warden's waiting hand.
Jasper started his walk of shame out of the laundry room and through the basement. "Fifty bucks isn't bad. Could be worse..." The Warden shrugged. "You could be stuck here like the rest of the inmates.
"True." Jasper agreed. "We were each given fifteen hundred dollars in electronic money on our MyPads, so I can pay the jail with that."
"The receptionist in Intake can make that happen..." The Warden had spent some time chatting with Jasper, and in a way, was going to miss him. He was an old man, who was sent here because of bad luck, and had trouble leaving because of more bad luck. He felt slightly bad for him, as he shouldn't have ended up in here anyways.
They retraced their steps out of the basement, and The Warden relocked the door with his blue key and dropped it in his pocket. "Two rights, then a left."
The walk of shame continued around the first right. A few random inmates were standing along the wall and silently waved as Jasper strolled by. "Good luck!" One said as The Warden gave a look to disperse.
"I haven't had any so far." Jasper countered. How could one old man have no luck at all?
As they reached the Intake room, which also served as the Discharge room, a tear fell from Jasper's eye. He made a few friends, like Chester, and maybe Terwiliger, and he was curious if their master plan would work tomorrow night. But all he thought about was walking through the gate, mounting his battleship and sailing off to his next destination.
"Fifty bucks, and he's free... and as I've told you before, I really don't want to see you back here." The Warden shook his hand, gave the MyPad to the receptionist, and walked towards the door. As much as he wanted to get back to his office, he hesitated and waited a minute to observe the check-out process.
"Name..." The receptionist asked.
"Beardly... Jasper." The senior citizen replied. "I'll need that back when I leave."
"Just a second..." The receptionist said this through the glass. "Need to collect payment first." It was a new experience for Jasper. She clicked a few buttons on the computer, then grabbed a credit card machine and held the MyPad on top of it.
The machine beeped and printed a receipt. "I thought I was the only person who could use that." Jasper was quite impressed with modern technology.
"This thing is uses wireless contact payments also. I just wouldn't place it near any large magnets." She ripped the receipt off and read it out loud. "Your payment of fifty dollars for room and board was successful. Your starting balance of fifteen hundred has been debited to leave you with fourteen hundred fifty dollars. Have a nice day."
She set the receipt on top of the MyPad and began to push it through the slot under the glass, but paused and pulled it back. "I'll take that and be on my way."
"One second. Almost forgot this..." She spun her chair and grabbed a small envelope from the wooden board behind her. "This was dropped off this morning and addressed to you."
"Odd... no one know I'm here." Jasper notified the receptionist.
"Per our policy, all incoming mail must be opened and read by staff to eliminate anything negative from reaching the inmates." She tore open the envelope and pulled out a postcard. One side had a peculiar message which read: 'Enjoy your stay. CMB' and the other side had a picture of a skeleton riding a horse carrying a black flag with a white flower on it. "I don't know what this means, I guess you can have it."
The receptionist placed the postcard on top of the MyPad and started to slide it under the glass. As Jasper reached for the MyPad, it began releasing purple and black smoke. The room darkened, and a being stretched out from the screen of the MyPad. Jasper instantly dropped it and took a step back. The Warden reached for the door handle, only to find it locked. There was no escape.
"Greetings everyone, and let me introduce myself. My name is Death." The Grim Reaper informed the three of them. "I'm so sorry to tell you, your game is now over. You were given plenty of chances to play, but you ended up here without escaping, so it has been decided your game ends here."
"That's not fair." Jasper pleaded with Death.
"Fair? Mortal fool, this isn't your game. You are but a pawn, and here you shall stay." The apparition raised his scythe and slammed it into the MyPad splitting it in two. Both halves' screens still worked and showed a dice icon on each half. "Allow me." The bony finger of Death touched each screen, and a five wasdisplayed on the first screen, followed by the second.
"Doubles... something I couldn't do in three tries." Jasper grumbled.
"More importantly, ten." Death announced. "As the first player removed from this game and the second one imprisoned in this game forever, this space: The Jail, will become your permanent home. You shall be the new mayor, but parole is forever denied." Death once again raised its scythe and slammed it into each half of the MyPad erasing them from existence. "And then there were six... now begone!"
The room lightened as Death faded into the light. The Warden was at a loss for words at what he just witnessed. "Book him... a... permanent cell..."
"Yes... sir..." The receptionist replied. She typed on the computer as Jasper frowned. "You can return to... Cellblock C, cell four."
Even Jasper didn't know how to react. He was seconds away from freedom, but now would serve life without parole. Maybe Terwiliger's escape plan wasn't a bad idea after all.
"Lead the way." Jasper sadly asked The Warden. Down the many hallways and through the locked doors they went, eventually ending up at the same cellblock as before.
"Good luck in here." The Warden said. Whether he was serious or joking, it was hard to tell.
"Jasper!" Chester yelled, and the rest of the inmates joined in. "What happened?"
If Jasper told them, would they even believe Death manifested from a postcard and destroyed his game? The better question was why. Even Jasper couldn't absorb what happened, and he saw it.
"You said the escape plan starts tomorrow." Jasper directly asked Chester. "I think I was tricked, double-crossed, and doomed from the start. I want out." He pounded his fist on the table. "Revenge..."
"To revenge!" Chester got the inmates chanting, a little too loud. A guard from above yelled for them to quiet down. "Revenge! We need all inmates to join us for the biggest riot this jail has ever seen. Everyone!"
"Including that new guy I saw earlier." A random inmate interjected.
"New guy? I thought Beardly was the newest guy." Chester questioned.
The inmate described an old man similar in appearance to Jasper but with no beard, a long nose, and a gray bowl cut but bald on top. "He snuck into the Intake room and back out, then down the basement. I didn't see nothing else."
"No..." Jasper whispered, as he had an idea who it was, but how? "Revenge!" Jasper said it again. "I'm not staying here for the rest of my life because of some crooked businessman. Tomorrow night!" Jasper cheered again... "What was the plan? I forgot..."
"Go see Bob. He is waiting in your cell. Maybe he can help you identify the one who wronged you." Chester nodded towards Jasper's new living quarters.
As expected, Sideshow Bob was lurking in the shadows of the cell. Jasper greeted him and took a seat on the hard rock he called a bed.
"How did he do it?" Jasper went right for the question he needed to be answered. "Is it really him?"
"I was shocked when I saw an old man in the basement after you left. I thought maybe old Jasper forgot something in the laundry room. But when I got a closer look, it wasn't you. It was an even older man with a banana nose and the worst bowl cut I've ever seen, nor would I ever get." Sideshow Bob rambled on for a bit before returning to the task at hand. "I didn't trust the old man, no one lurks in the basement except me. So I asked him a few questions, and he avoided most of them before telling me to mind my business and not interfere. At that point, this mysterious man became my only business..."
Jasper shook his head in disbelief. "You and I now have a common enemy. I'll tell you exactly who it is, and what needs to be done. I'm in for the plan tomorrow night."
"Good." The devilish grin returned. "We need all hands on deck." Sideshow Bob laughed. "Time to show these guards, The Warden, and this newbie, you don't mess with us inmates. Call me a friend, and I'll help with your enemy... are you snoring?"
"It's past my bedtime." Jasper admitted. "Just wake me up for the jailbreak tomorrow night."