You Should Be Here
Molly wakes up the next day. An upbeat pop song plays as her alarm, like always. She tries to match the mood of the song, but her conflicting emotions leave her frozen. She's still trying to process everything that's happened and the nightmare she had.
I don't know what to do…Are you actually back or is this just a figment of my overactive imagination? I'm scared, Scratch. I don't want to let go of our friendship, all the memories we made…I know you're gone now, but maybe there's still hope.
Molly ponders these thoughts. Swimming through her mind like a never ending storm that she can't seem to escape. What happened, the car crash, was very traumatic. But seeing that light in darkness, the light that saved her. She can't just let that go, especially if it's a friend she thought she said goodbye to forever.
Molly snaps out of her thoughts when she hears her Dad call her.
"Molly, time to go!" Pete said.
Molly flinches, knowing this isn't going to be good. Her parents said they're booking an appointment for her with a therapist.
I'm trying to let go of the past and move on from my trauma. Not keep reliving it in therapy…I know I freaked my parents out last night when I woke up screaming and crying from my nightmare, but I don't know if I can talk about it yet. Especially not with a complete stranger. No Molly, do this for your parents. They're just worried about you.
Molly sighs and nods. Giving herself a brave look in the mirror before she leaves.
"You can do this." Molly said.
Molly puts on her best smile and heads downstairs. She sees that Ollie is here waiting for her at the front door and can't help but be pleasantly surprised.
"Ollie, what are you doing here?" Molly asked.
Ollie takes out his keys and smiles. He's been worried, but he's happy Molly's going to talk to a professional about what she's been going through.
"Oh, your parents asked me to drive you since they're still working on getting a new car after…Well, we don't need to talk about that now. I just thought I'd help out and see how you're doing." Ollie replied.
Molly smiles, grateful to have such a caring boyfriend.
"That's so sweet! Thank you. Just promise me you'll drive slow." Molly said.
Ollie takes Molly's hand. Seeing the dark circles under her eyes and how she's trying so hard to hold herself together just a day after the accident is heartbreaking, but he knows she'll be getting the help she needs.
"I promise." Ollie replied.
With that, they head out together and get in the car. Molly's afraid at first, but she takes deep breaths and tries her best to stay calm.
Ollie starts the car and they slowly start moving forward. Just the motion of the car moving makes Molly sick to her stomach. Her heart starts beating fast and she starts looking pale and shaking.
Ollie notices this immediately and stops the car, parking in a safe spot. Then he puts his hand on Molly's shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" Ollie asked.
Ollie's voice is so sweet and gentle, Molly can't help but burst into tears as she looks out the window. Trying to distract herself with the sight of the calming blue sky.
"Yeah…I-I'm fine…J-Just a little emotional and…Scared." Molly replied.
Ollie puts his hand on Molly's shoulder and she turns around to look at him, tears filling her eyes and finally falling down her cheeks.
"It's okay to be scared. You just went through something very traumatic and it's good to let out these emotions. I'm just glad you're not pretending everything is totally normal like you used to. You're letting yourself feel and that's a good thing." Ollie said.
Molly smiles, it's small and she's still sad and fearful, but it's something.
"Thank you, Ollie…You always know what to say. M-Maybe I do need to talk to a therapist. I'm really afraid to talk about what's been going on in my mind, but maybe she can help." Molly replied.
Ollie smiles, relieved that Molly is open to therapy.
"I'm positive she'll be able to help you! Now, will you be okay if I keep driving?" Ollie asked.
Molly looks out at the road in front of her. She wants to be ready, to finally face this fear and feel safe again, but she's not so sure how she'll react. Still, she wants to keep moving forward.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go!" Molly replied.
Ollie nods and starts driving forward as slowly and carefully as possible.
Molly takes deep shaky breaths as Ollie drives, trying her best to focus on the blue sky.
I'm okay. I'm totally fine! I can do this. I'm scared, but I can do this. It's just driving. I'm not even at the wheel and I completely trust Ollie. Everything will be fine…Everything…
Suddenly, Molly feels an overwhelming sense of anxiety and panic come over her. She freezes in her seat and starts to see the crash all play out in her mind. The world spinning so fast around her as the car flips. The blue light shining around her like a force field, protecting her from harm. Everything coming to a stop as she lies against the glass window, the road below her. Then, climbing through the rubble and jumping out of the car and chasing that blue light, only to drown in darkness. Her nightmare…It's all too much.
Molly screams, tears falling as she starts to have a panic attack. Breathing fast, her heart pounding in her chest, trying to get a grip on reality as she looks around frantically.
Ollie parks the car quickly. Luckily, they made it to the clinic where Molly will meet with a therapist. Then, he takes her hand.
"Molly, look at me. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here." Ollie said.
Molly hears Ollie in the back of her mind. Trying to pull herself out of the trauma and back to reality, back to where she knows she's safe with him. It's scary, but she does look at him, although everything around her is blurry. Then, she hears another voice.
"Moll, listen to Ollie. You're safe. You're okay. You just need to get out of this flashback. Let this go! Let me go…" Scratch said.
Molly takes deep breaths, looking at Ollie and grounding herself in the present. Focusing on what she can smell, hear, see, and the touch of his hand in hers.
"I'm safe…I'm okay…" Molly said.
Ollie then starts to cry himself. He's tried so hard to be strong for Molly, but seeing her like this is really hard for him.
"Yeah, you are…Everything's going to be okay. I promise." Ollie replied.
Molly looks at Ollie, seeing how scared and sad he is for her. Part of her wants to put on a smile to make him happy, but she knows that only worries the people she cares about even more. So instead, she opens the car door.
"Alright, let's get me to therapy! I clearly need it." Molly said.
Ollie smiles and laughs a little at Molly's lighthearted humor. It means she's still in there. Just seeing her being a bit of her happy go lucky self again, he knows she'll be okay.
The next day, Molly's home and just relaxing with the family in the living room. She's waiting for Libby to come over so they can hang out since it's the weekend.
Just chilling in the living room, reading a book about trauma recovery, Molly can't help but feel like this therapy thing will be good for her. She's glad she talked to a professional and it's really helping her get on the right path to recovery.
Molly's excited to see Libby too. It's been a while since they talked and she really wants to catch up.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Molly rushes over to answer it. A smile on her face and that joyful energy flowing through her once again. She's regained hope that she'll heal from this and can't wait to see her best friend.
Molly opens the door and immediately hugs Libby.
"Libby! I'm so happy to see you!" Molly said.
Libby hugs Molly back and can't help but smile when she sees how happy her friend is.
"Aww, I'm happy to see you too, Molly. How are you doing?" Libby asked.
This time, Molly knows how to answer that question honestly. She's getting more in touch with her emotions and how to cope.
"I'm doing good! I have my moments where things get hard, but overall things are looking up." Molly replied.
Libby smiles, relieved Molly's feeling better. She knows it will take time and it's only the first therapy session, but she likes to see the hope in Molly's eyes again. That optimistic sunny attitude that keeps her going is infectious.
"That's great. I'm really proud of you. Therapy is not easy. I've gone myself for my anxiety many times, but it's worth it." Libby said.
Molly nods, realizing that maybe her and Libby aren't so different after all.
With that, the girls head up to Molly's room, excited for things to return to normal after everything that's happened.
Molly and Libby sit in her room and Molly decides that it would be fun to play puppy prom, something they haven't done since she was thirteen.
Molly gets out her plushies and starts talking in a childlike voice as she plays. Laughing and having fun.
Libby looks at Molly, curious. She knows Molly can be a bit eccentric and gravitate towards more childlike interests, which is just fine, but this is different. This is a trauma response.
"Molly, is everything okay?" Libby asked.
Molly looks up from her plushies, snapping out of the imaginary world she's created in her mind.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just playing like I usually do! Oh, that reminds me…" Molly replied.
Suddenly, Molly walks over and pulls out her box of sadness from under her bed. Libby knows this well, it's a box of the things that make her sad, so she hides it away. Kind of like an, 'out of sight, out of mind' thing.
Molly then takes out a plushie she made of Scratch and Libby starts to worry. Scratch has been gone for three years. To see Molly has made a plushie of him, a comfort toy that she's kept in her box of sadness all this time, is concerning.
"Okay, now let's play out this puppy prom like the middle school dance! Like when Ollie and I went together and Scratch was actually there too. There was a sad part at the end where Scratch and I got in a fight…Then he got caught in a ghost trap, but I saved him and we got through it. Just like we always do…" Molly said.
Molly starts to cry, watching her tears drop onto her Scratch plushie as she relives the memories. Knowing that's all they are now. Just memories she holds close.
Libby scotches over to Molly and sits by her side, putting her arm around her.
"You really miss him, huh?" Libby asked.
Molly sees the blue light around her, like she's back in the car crash. Even with the world spinning all around her, thinking she's going to die, he's still there. Protecting her. The car crash may have traumatized her, but it also brought back something she hasn't felt in a long time, hope.
Molly looks at her Scratch plushie, then leans onto Libby's shoulder, letting herself cry.
"Yeah…I miss him…" Molly replied.