9/22/2024

"And who's this, Gordo?"

"Oh, that's my mother. Diane Shumway."

Gordon, Eric, Evangeline, Joseph, Sarah, Kate, Lynn, and Brian were huddled around one of Gordon's photo albums. It was the day before Kate, Lynn, and Brian went back to California.

"I thought your mother's name was Flo," Eric commented.

"Flo was my stepmother. Diane was my biological mom. I never met her, though. She died an hour after I was born. I don't think there'll ever be another one like her, though. She was that sarcastic, witty, wisecracking type."

Evangeline smirked. "Oh, I'm sure she was one-of-a-kind."

"Is that you?" Sarah asked, pointing to a photo.

"Oh, yeah. That was at my dad's second wedding. I was a cute little ring bearer, wasn't I?"

Kate looked closer. "You look ticked."

Gordon squinted at the photo of him as a toddler. In it, he was frowning and attempting to pull off his bow tie. "Sure, but I was still cute." He flipped the page.

"Is that your Bouillabaseball team?" Brian questioned.

"Yep. Melmac Orbiters. I had my own Bouillabaseball card, you know. And here's the Shumway family portrait."

"Wearing your mother's Hawaiian shirt, I see," Lynn observed.

"Hey! She left it and the rest of her closet for me in her will!"

"And you're kinda rocking it."

"I know."

"Who's that?" Joseph inquired.

Gordon scoffed. "My ex-fiance. Ruby Mendoza. Left me after 58 years of engagement. She just had to take her love to town! But I met the love of my life the next day. Rhonda Blaire. What a pepoon."

"I assume that's her?" Evangeline speculated, pointing to another photo.

"Yeah. That's me and her at the annual Orbit Guard ball. Oh, don't mind that one of me and my friend Skip. We hit the punch bowl a few extra times that night. And that's my best friend since youth, Rick Fusterman. He was the more rational one in my friend group." He flipped the page.

"ALF, you still keep that picture? I had my braces on in that one!" Lynn exclaimed.

"Of course! I had to be reminded of my Tanners when I was in captivity!"

"Hey, when did you take this one?" Eric asked.

Gordon craned his neck to look at it. It was a photo of Eric, Evangeline, Joseph, and Sarah.

"I didn't take that one. I just found it in your bedroom."

"Aw, that's sweet. I didn't know you had that much heart in you," Evangeline chuckled.

"Yep. It's all up here." Gordon smugly pointed to his head.

There was silence in the room. Gordon looked around.

"Hey, can you all stand right there? Yeah, right there. No, actually a little bit to the left. My left, not your left. Yeah, that's better. Okay, just stand right there."

Gordon scurried downstairs.

"What's he doing?" Joseph questioned.

Kate shrugged. "Who knows with him."

Gordon returned with a tripod in his hand. He quickly set it up and slipped his phone into the holder.

"Okay, Tanners - and Cummingses - and Sherwood - smile for me!" Gordon put the camera on a timer and rushed into the photo.

The camera flashed. After a few seconds, Gordon rushed back to the phone. He reviewed the photo and smiled.

"Is that all you wanted, ALF?" Brian asked as the group began to shuffle out of place.

Gordon nodded. When he came to Earth, he didn't want to congregate with humans, much less live with a human family. "I may not have wanted them at first," he thought to himself, "but I needed them, and I still do."

Eric tapped Gordon on the shoulder. "Gordo? You okay?"

Gordon sniffed and quickly wiped the tears falling from his eyes. He turned to face Eric and embraced him tightly.

"Yeah, ET. I'm good."

"You know, Mom and Lynn and Brian are going to the airport in a few minutes. You won't mind saying goodbye, will you?"

"No problem."

"Sounds like the Warden's here."

Zack snorted at Blinky's observation of the obvious.

"Yeah. He's horrible, just like all humans," he griped. Blinky raised his eyebrows.

"Humans aren't that bad. Well, at least not Sean and his family. They were all pretty nice."

Blinky's cell door rattled. Zack expected to see Andrew, with his snarky attitude and all. But instead, in came a young man, maybe fresh out of college. He wore the typical attire of someone enlisted in the Air Force. It was an interesting alternative to Andrew's daily put-downs. And, interestingly enough, this man had a smile on his face. No, not a forced smile, but a genuine, caring smile.

"Good morning, guys. The name's Senior Airman Coleman Greer, but you can call me...Warden Greer, I guess," he introduced.

Zack's jaw dropped at the politeness. Blinky jumped up and shook his hand.

"Hi! I'm Blinky! Blinky Gordon." He looked over at Zack. "He's not so terrible."

"Oh, yeah, about that. Andrew got transferred, so now I'm here. Also, did they drop the ID number thing?" Greer explained.

"No, they didn't. #624's just new here. Just got here yesterday. He doesn't quite understand the whole idea of ID numbers yet."

"Oh. But do you prefer Blinky over #624?" he asked, looking at Blinky.

"Gladly."

"Okay. What about I call you Blinky when it's just me and you - and you, I guess - and when I'm with the other officers and employees, I'll call you by your ID number?"

"Really? You'd do that?" Blinky exclaimed. Greer nodded

Zack perked up a bit. "Well, in that case, the name's Zack Shumway. My ID is #424, but I prefer Zack, of course. But you know what? Some people call me Zack 'The Sack' Shumway. Or 'Stunt Double' Shumway. I'll take any of those three."

"Whatever you say, Stunt Double."

Zack pointed at Greer and smirked. "Thank goodness Andrew got transferred," he commented. The three of them chuckled.

Greer then brought the two their breakfast, which they ate heartily as the three of them chatted. Afterwards, they had their devices applied by the Tool-man.

When the guards came to escort Zack and Blinky out into the fields, Greer was still in Blinky's cell, cleaning up the plates.

"Have a good day, Blinky," he whispered as Blinky went out the door. Blinky turned his head back and waved silently.

Greer then went into Zack's cell. As Zack went out, Greer whispered, "Have a good day, Stunt Double. Oh, and there's no need to worry about Gordon. I'm sure he's doing fine wherever he ended up."

Greer couldn't see it, but Zack smiled a wide, goofy, four-toothed smile. He waved as he walked out the door.

Later, Zack and Blinky met up with each other in the field.

"Boy, that Greer sure is nice," Blinky commented.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"See, Zack? I told you not all humans are bad."

Zack nodded. "Yeah. The problem is, you just gotta find the right ones."

As Kate, Lynn, and Brian started on their way to their flight, Eric, Evangeline, Joseph and Sarah waved them on their way. They had already said their farewells and had their hugs, so they were ready to go.

"WAIT!"

Everyone's heads turned as a tall, lanky man with a golden-brown comb-over ran over to them from the bathrooms. He wore a red Hawaiian shirt over a white tank top, a pair of tan cargo shorts, and a pair of white Converse sneakers. In his hand, he carried a small bag. As he approached them, Kate sneered.

"Who are you?" she asked.

He quickly caught his breath and smoothed back his hair. "You don't recognize me? - Oh, right." He pointed to his belt, which had a flashy silver buckle that looked remarkably like a machine of some sort. "You've never seen me like this."

"I don't think we've ever seen you at all," Lynn commented.

The man chuckled. "It's me! Gordo! You know, I lived with you for four years, then I got captured, now I live with your youngest son?" he exclaimed.

"ALF? How in the world did you do that?" Brian gasped, looking him up and down.

Gordon tapped his belt buckle. "This baby's called the Holo-Humanizer. It's an old Melmacian device I managed to salvage. It creates a hologram of a human over my body so I can blend in with everybody. I've fixed it up to where it runs on both solar power and batteries. Pretty cool, huh?" he explained, gesturing to his human form. Everybody nodded and muttered in approval.

Gordon shook hands with Brian and hugged him. "Farewell, B. Best of luck on your job. Send my regards to the wife, alright? Oh, and I don't think you ever kept these." He reached into a bag and took out a pair of green dashboard dice.

"Thanks, ALFmeister. These'll look great in my Ferrari. Take care, bud," Brian chuckled, patting Gordon on the back.

Gordon walked over to Lynn and hugged her. "See ya', Lynnie. Take care of yourself - and your family. Say hi to Robert for me, okay? Also, I thought you might want this back. I was going to take it with me to New Melmac, but that's a moot point now." He took a cassette tape out of the bag and handed it too her.

"My Pretenders tape! I've been wondering where that thing was for the last thirty-something years. Thanks, Gordo," Lynn replied, placing a kiss on his forehead.

Gordon smiled upon approaching Kate. "Goodbye, Katydid. I know it's been a rough five or so years since Wilhelm's been gone. You're a real trooper, you know that?"

Kate nodded. "I miss him everyday."

Gordon sniffed a bit. "Now that I know, me too. But anyways, take care. You can rest easy knowing that Eric's taking care of the Ole' ALFer. Oh, also, I got you this." He brought a small box out of the bag and handed it to Kate. As she opened it, she smiled.

"A porcelain Ballerina. How sweet."

"Read what it says on the back."

"Let's see...'To Kate, from Willie'. Oh, ALF..."

"I'm sorry I broke the other one. And one last thing," Gordon stated as he handed Kate a wreath of flowers. On the tag, it read, "Willie, you're not too bad...for someone without fur. Yours truly, Gordon 'ALF' Shumway"

There was a silence between the two of them. As a tear fell from Kate's eye, Gordon gently took her hand in his and kissed it. When he lifted his head, Kate could've sworn she had saw his true Melmacian form instead of his artificial human one.

"Give these to Willie for me," Gordon whispered, his voice almost cracking. He turned away slowly and walked to the Tanner-Cummingses.

After a silent car ride back to the beach house, the Tanner-Cummingses settled down in the living room. Gordon, now back in his true form, slowly lowered himself onto the couch. He pulled out his phone and began browsing on it.

"Hey, Eric? I sent you that picture that I took. If you have time tomorrow, can you go to the drug store and get it printed?"

"Yeah, sure."

After a while, everyone had gone to bed - except Gordon. He continued to sit on the couch, thinking to himself. He looked up to the sky and closed his eyes.

"I miss you, Wilhelm. I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye...By the way, if you see a Melmacian woman up there that responds to 'Diane Shumway', tell her that I said hi. In fact, if you see any Melmacian up there, say hi."

After a bit, he opened his eyes and clambered over to the kitchen window. He climbed up onto the windowsill and looked out at the stars.

He looked back at the living room.

"'Night, Tanner-Cummingses. See ya' in the morning."

He settled back into his spot on the windowsill and closed his eyes.

"I love this family. The only way I could love them more is if they got a cat."

He stifled a chuckle, but then burst out laughing.

"Ha! Oh, I kill me."

Dedicated to Max Wright, Benji Gregory, Liz Sheridan, John LaMotta, Michu Meszaros, Bill Daily, and Anne Meara. The world of ALF wouldn't have been the same without you.