Author note

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story, and I apologise about the extended hiatus.

I am now doing a lot better and am back at writing, yay! While I've not managed to pre-write this story as I'd hoped, I am going to be trying to upload chapters as often as possible.

If anyone is available to beta, please do let me know as I'm struggling now my beta has stepped away (one of the main reasons I stopped writing).

I do not own Twilight

Bella

It's as though the world is crashing down around me.

Charlie hadn't even stayed on the phone long enough for me to explain anything to him. I'd tried to phone him back, but it went straight to voicemail. I hoped beyond hope that he wasn't already on a plane on his way over.

Launching my phone across the room, I start to pull myself up.

It doesn't work.

I crash back to the floor, screaming at nothing in frustration.

The screams quickly turn to sobs as I curl up in a ball tugging on my hair. My insides are churning, and I can't make sense of the world anymore.

I think someone comes in, though I don't know who. If they did, they didn't stay. Really, what did I expect? Everyone on the street must have heard my cries and yet I don't care enough to do anything about it.

The tears stop coming at some point and my sobs quieten, though the tremors continue to shake my body. I'm calmer than I thought possible, but not a peaceful calmness, it's more a numb feeling.

Still, I don't move.

A while later, there's a small knock on the door. I don't reply.

The knock starts again. "Bella?" It's Diana. "Bella, are you alright? Can I come in?"

I still don't respond, simply staring at nothing feeling heavy and empty.

"I'm coming in Bella." Diana calls through in warning as she starts to creek the door open. "Bella?"

Diana flicks the light on, and I scrunch my eyes up against the pain. "Sorry," she whispers from the doorway.

I hear as her feet pad softly over to my bed and she sits down on the squeaky desk chair.

"I get like this too sometimes," she tells me. "The world is just too much. You want a break from it, yet there is no reprieve, no way to avoid the world, so you just scream at it."

She lapses into silence. I lift my eyes to look at her staring at the floor. "It's hard when what you know to be true differs from everyone else's experience."

I nod, not yet able to say anything.

"There's that funny British show on soon. Did you want to watch it now or wait for another day? I'm sure I can work out the record button somehow." We had been watching the Great British Baking show together, laughing at all of the peculiar words.

Thinking on her request for a moment, I open my mouth to respond but find it too dry to make a sound. Instead, I nod gently and sit up.

Looking around me for the first time, I notice the open curtains and distinct blackness outside. It must have been late.

Diana noticed my gaze, "Don't worry about it." She also stood up. "You get yourself up and I'll sort out the snacks!"

Her enthusiasm was fake, but I appreciated the attempt all the same.

Some part of my mind registered the fact that I should probably call Alice to apologise, but the thought made the rage bubble up again, so I squashed that thought.

The program was good, though neither of us could understand how making simple cakes could be such a challenge.

Within an hour, I'd managed to eat at least half of the soup that Diana had brought in and drunk all of the water. In all, I was feeling much better.

As the credits started to scroll down the screen, I stretched my arms above my head and yawned, something which Diana had started quite a while ago. "Yup," Diana says, "it is definitely bedtime now. Are you going to be alright?"

"Thank you," I responded and nodded.

"I'll see you in the morning then." She stood and walked over to her door. "Wake me if you need anything."

When she was gone, I sighed and relaxed back onto the couch. While I knew it would have been more sensible to go to bed, I couldn't face the silent room. At least here I had the television for company.

I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over me as I started to drift off.

I jumped with a squeak, dropping my pen in the process. After barely any sleep, I knew I needed to spend the day resting so I'd emailed my tutors asking for any hands outs and the homework. However, my day of rest was apparently being interrupted by someone at the door. It didn't take a genius to know who it would be.

"Come in," I spoke in a normal voice knowing that the visitor would hear me and saving me the job of getting up. Which of course they did.

"Bella?" a soft, melodic voice spoke, it was Esme. "Are you alright dear?" She was loitering in the doorway, clearly not wanting to overstep.

I took a deep breath and pushed my work away from me.

"I don't know." I replied honestly. Last night's events had whipped me out and I really wasn't up for thinking of lies. "I made a mistake, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Would you like to talk about it? Or we can get out of the house if you prefer?" Her voice was quiet as though nervous of being shouted at. Apparently the everyone had heard my conversation with Alice. "I can leave too, if that's what you need," she tagged on the end.

I took a moment to contemplate my response. Did I trust them enough to stay? Did I even want them around anymore?

What a stupid thought, I chastised myself, of course you want them around, isn't that the reason behind your current predicament? I mentally glared at the voice in my head.

"Please, come and join me Esme," I said to her. She still looked wary, so I added, "Diana is in class, she won't be back for a few hours."

Apparently, this had been the stumbling point as she came fully through the doorway, closing it with a soft pop behind her. "Can I get you anything?"

"Some water would be nice," I said appreciating not having to get up to get more.

It wasn't long before we were both sitting around the table.

"So, what's been happening?" she asked.

"I accidently told Charlie about you guys' last night."

"And, from your face, he didn't take it well?"

I let out a small laugh, "That's one way to put it. I don't really know how he took it, he hung up and won't answer any calls. None of the pack will. I'm worried." My voice got softer the more I spoke, for the first time realising the enormity of the situation. "I mean, I knew he'd never take it well, especially not after everything I put him through, but I don't know how to explain it to him if he won't listen. He think's I'm back with Edward."

"That sounds difficult. Hopefully he is simply processing the surprise and will get back in touch with you soon. However, I feel like this isn't all of the problem."

I look up at her, confusion on my face.

"Forgive me for saying so Bella, but you don't look well. You haven't for several weeks now. School is hard." I look away from her, unable to admit to anyone else the struggles. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I whisper without conviction.

"Alright, we don't need to. What were you working on when I arrived?" She pulled the papers towards her and glanced over them. "Ah, I remember doing this a long time ago."

I looked up at her, shocked.

"Yes, it is not only my children who attend school from time to time. I occasionally attend evening classes. While the outdoors is more my thing, I have a relatively good grasp of literature, though nothing compared to Carlisle. Goodness me, how he can get through some of those tomes amazes even me!"

I started pointing out the different parts of the assignment, showing here where I was struggling with the research. Ever the patient mother, she skim read the research pages to me, only giving me the important information. Then she helped me collate my notes into a useable format so that all I had left was to write it up.

Before I knew it, we'd gone through several of the due assignments, and I was feeling much more in control with work.

"Thank you, Esme," I said packing away by books. "That was really… Just thank you. You didn't need to do that."

"I'm here to help, you are always welcome to bring work over. I'm sure between the family we'll have covered it all at some point, especially history!" I chuckled with her. "Now, I had better be going before your friend arrives. See you soon sweetheart."

I tried to stand to see her out, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

Before I knew it, she was gone, and the house was empty again.

Jacob

I paced the floor. No matter how many times Bella had told me that everything was alright, I didn't quite believe her and I knew Charlie didn't either. He'd been over so many times over the last few weeks pacing the floor.

Now, on top of everything, she wasn't responding.

Charlie was in panic mode and I was worried that he'd end up on a plane if she didn't respond soon. In fact, it had been a while since I'd last heard from him so he may already be on in the air!

I threw myself down on the floor next to my bike. I'd done as much work on it as I could and now I was just tinkering while waiting for money to buy more parts. Every part was sparkling. The sensible thing would have been to get some of the homework done, but really, who cares if I graduate or not. It's not as though I've got anything to do other than protect the tribe.

But oh yes, as dad is always saying, I need to be prepared for anything, and that includes getting a job.

As I was putting away the tools, in a rather less organised fashion than the bike, I heard a car pull up much faster than anyone would normally pull up.

Peering around the doors, I noticed the tell tale sign of "police" written on the side and the gruff face of Charlie looking out.

Even stepped back at the look of fury on his face.

What on earth had happened to get such a response from him?!

I didn't have to wait long to find out. Dad had barley opened the door before Charlie bellowed at him "They're back! That son of a bitch, destroying my daughter teenage piece of crap is back in her life!"

In that moment, I don't know what kept me upright. After everything she'd been through. All of the heartbreak, pain, loss, he thinks he can just swan back into her life as though nothing has happened?

Without thinking, I started to charge towards the woods, fully intending of phasing and running across the country to rip his god damn head off. I wondered if anyone else in the pack would like to join me on the wolf style road trip. With any luck, I'd be bringing home a souvenir.

"Jacob," dad's firm voice spoke out. "Come in here."

No matter how angry I was, I couldn't ignore a direct instruction from him. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to, but I also wanted to find out more. When had he come back? Was Bella getting involved with him? Had they stuck around after realising she wasn't as perfect as they'd hoped?

Stomping rather more than I had intended to, I returned to the house.

Apparently, it hadn't been missed by my dad either because he muttered a warning not to break the chairs when I got in. Charlie had already entered the living room and was wearing a hole in the floor.

"I don't know what to do." Charlie practically cried to Billy. "How can she stand to be near them, after everything they put her though!"

"That's not for me to say Charlie, you know my feelings about the Cullen's, and that was before Bella returned to Forks." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You will need to tread carefully here. While I understand your desire to keep Bella away from them, I'm sure you remember how good they are at seduction, she may be trapped under his spell already. You can't help her at all if she won't speak to you."

Charlie looked sheepish. "I didn't really let her speak anyway."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The revelation wasn't entirely voluntary, and I sort of flipped and hung up on her. Maybe I shouldn't have, it was just so much of a shock."

Hope rose in me, "So we don't actually know what's going on?"

"No, and I don't entirely trust her to be honest. She's kept them quiet for this long." His voice trailed off. I could see the pain he was feeling from her deceit.

"Truth cannot be forced Charlie," dad reminded him.

Charlie practically growled. "No, the truth can't, but I'm worried enough about her all the way over there handling school and living alone and everything. This was not something I had even considered that she'd need to handle. She's got enough on."

"I'll go." I blurted out. "To New York I mean. I know you can't go dad, not easily with your chair. And I've seen how busy you are at the moment with work Charlie. I imagine you can't just up and leave."

"That's a generous offer and all, but you're just a kid. This needs to be handled by grown us."

I let out a short barking laugh, "Do I really look like a kid Charlie? Besides, you're needed here. I can go in all sneaky and find out the gossip. Maybe I'll find a hot girl while I'm there!"

"What about Billy, he needs you here," I could see that Charlie was starting to clutch at straws.

"Don't mind me Charlie, I've got plenty of help. Let the kid go and have some fun. Maybe he'll get Bella to let her hair down too. You were telling me just yesterday how everyone is off sick with that bug, you can't just leave the town unprotected."

I watched as Charlie reluctantly nodded.

Dad, obviously having caught onto my plan to confront them as beta of the pack, the pack which Bella was an honorary member, and reassured Charlie that me going would be for the best. As he was talking, he loaded up the archaic computer to look for different flights.

"I'll go pack," I say to the room before turning away.