It was about a week before Raph approached Leo again.
Leo was sitting against the tree in the dojo, trying to muster up the energy to start training again. Once he saw Raph approaching though, he quickly got back on his feet while hoping that his brother somehow didn't spot him sitting down. He stumbled a bit before trying to take on a more confident stance as he eyed the other turtle warily, initially expecting another confrontation until he took a closer look at his normally hotheaded sibling. Raph seemed nervous as he approached, hiding his hands behind his back. "Hey Raph." Leo attempted to greet him casually, though his tone gave away that he was feeling suspicious.
Raph's eyes glanced around the room a bit, his feet fidgeting a bit before he finally took a breath and looked Leo in the eye. "Hey, so um...sorry about being a bit of a jerk a few days ago." He said, voice quiet and uncertain before he continued. "It's just...you know that when one of you guys are seriously hurting it makes me worried and when I get worried it...comes out wrong."
Leo blinked a bit in surprise, he hadn't expected Raph to apologize. He seemed so adamant that he was right before, and Raph wasn't the type to apologize if he really thought he was doing the right thing. It was even harder for his brother to admit when his anger was masking more vulnerable emotions, like concern. "It's fine Raph, I...I shouldn't have gotten so angry either. I promise I'll be fine, so you guys don't need to be worried about me, okay?" He said, both accepting the apology and trying to reassure his brother. "You guys are dealing with a lot right now, so I don't want..." No, he couldn't admit that he didn't want to burden them with his own feelings, that would just make them more worried. He took a deep breath before trying again, trying to put on a smile. "I want you guys to focus on healing and supporting each other."
"We're trying." Raph replied, his tone sounding like he was attempting to reassure Leo as well. "I know things have been hard on you too and I'm probably not the best at the whole 'emotional support' thing, but I still wanted you to know that I...I care about you, so I made you something."
Oh, so that's why Raph was hiding his hands behind his back. Leo couldn't help but be curious, despite how artistic his younger brother was it was rare for him to gift the things he makes to others.
Slowly, movements and expression still full of uncertainty, Raph presented what he'd made for his older brother. Leo's eyes widened when he saw it. It was a knitted doll of Master Splinter. He gently took the doll from his younger brother's hands, staring into its amber colored eyes. The amount of detail Raph put into it was amazing, it was like he was really staring at a smaller version of their late father. This fact caused a lot of mixed emotions in him. One part of him was upset and even a little angry, a doll couldn't replace Master Splinter and it hurt to be reminded of him. He knew that wasn't what Raph intended though, and his brother clearly put a lot of care into this gift. This was a desperate attempt to reach Leo in some way, so rejecting it could shatter Raph emotionally and he'd already hurt all of his brothers enough with his continued refusal for any direct help. The least he could do was accept a well-meant gift.
He looked at Raph and smiled a little wider, trying not to give away that he was close to crying at the fresh reminder of their loss. "Thanks Raph, I'm gonna go put it in my room."
Raph seemed extremely relieved when he heard that, visibly relaxing and smiling. "Good. I know it's not much, but I made it so you know that we're here and thinking about you too. You know that, right?"
Leo hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Of course I know that. I'll...I'll see you later." He said before making his way out of the dojo, he looked around and saw that the living room was empty. Good, he didn't want to be asked any questions about why he suddenly had a doll of Splinter. This was not only because of personal embarrassment, but Raph would probably be embarrassed if the others learned he'd made a toy for their big brother. He quickly made his way to his room, placing the doll on top of his drawers.
He stared at it again for a long moment, trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to do with the doll. Keeping it out in the open didn't feel quite right, coming into his room to see a miniature version of his father each day sounded like a bad idea for his already bad emotional state. He couldn't bring himself to just bury or hide it somewhere in his room either though, it was a gift that clearly meant a lot to Raph for him to accept given how nervous and vulnerable he'd acted. He sighed, deciding he'd come back to it when he attempted to go to bed later.
-A week ago, after Leo ran from the lab-
Leo's brothers were gathered in the lab with the doors firmly shut, ready to discuss and figure out a plan on how to stop their big brother's spiral into self-destruction.
"So, trying to talk to Leo is clearly not working. We've all tried reaching out to him on our own, then confronting him together, but he's too stubborn to admit he needs help and keeps pulling away from us. If things don't change soon, his neglect could cause him more lasting harm, meaning it is time for us to take more drastic action. Do you guys have any ideas?" Donnie asked, having led the last couple of discussions they'd had when they realized how serious the situation was getting.
"Maybe doing it together could've worked if someone had been nicer about it." Mikey mumbled bitterly under his breath, his attitude having slowly grown more sour as Leo pulled himself away from them.
"Oh, come on! Since when does 'being nice' get through to Leo!? Like Donnie said, he's too stubborn to really listen to anybody, so we have to get him to realize what he's doing is hurting all of us, not just him!" Raph countered, still riding on the frustrated energy from their failed confrontation. "Maybe we should just strap Leo to a bed, then we can take care of him even if he doesn't want us to!"
Donnie took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm enough to be a voice of reason for his much more emotionally driven brothers. "That would have extreme negative effects on our relationship with Leo, Raph. He'd be even less likely to trust us in the future to help him when he starts struggling again, and we'd also have to start worrying about his muscles atrophying and his mind getting effected from lack of activity and having his ability to seek out stimulation cut off."
For once he was happy to see Raph struggling to comprehend what he just said, if his hotheaded brother was focused on trying to figure out just what Donnie was talking about, then that meant at least a few moments of not having to deal with him being angry about the situation. Mikey on the other hand, didn't actually look confused, his eyes had actually widened a bit during Donnie's counter argument as if he had a sudden thought.
"I think I have an idea on what we could do." Their baby brother offered before quickly adding, "But you guys have to promise to hear me out! Don't just say 'that's crazy' and brush it off!" his eyes narrowed as he looked at the others, making it clear that whatever he had to say wasn't a joke.
Both turtles blinked a bit in shock, surprised at how determined Mikey seemed to be. The Donnie answered, "Okay, we promise we'll listen and actually discuss whatever idea you've got." he said sincerely. "Right Raph?"
He'd honestly give anything a shot at this point. Besides, Mikey had good ideas that worked in the past, maybe he'd surprise them again. "Yeah, just tell us what you're thinkin'."
The smaller turtle looked at both of them again before taking a deep breath. "Maybe we could try hypnotizing him so he'd let us help?" He said, his voice uncertain. He didn't know if his brothers would keep their promise of considering what he had to say.
Raph and Donnie looked at each other for a long moment. The idea sounded crazy, normally they'd never consider messing with any of their brothers' minds. Things had become desperate though, and Leo seemed like he'd sooner die than willingly accept their help. Donnie was the one that spoke next. "Go on?"
Mikey's eyes widened in surprise before he smiled, now feeling more confident. They were actually willing to listen! "Well, you said Leo would be 'less likely' to trust us if we went with Raph's idea. So maybe that's why he won't let us help, he doesn't trust us enough!"
"What? We've all been through hell together! Why wouldn't he trust us to have his back!?" Raph demanded, feeling almost accused. The idea that after everything they went through together, Leo didn't trust a single one of them enough to help when he really needs it? He couldn't just accept that!
"I think what Mikey's trying to say is that, while Leo might trust us when it comes to life-or-death situations like battles and missions, things like his emotional state are a different story." Donnie offered, hoping that he was understanding what his younger brother was implying. "All of us have a hard time with being, well...vulnerable with each other." He admitted.
"I kinda meant more like him thinking that we'll make fun of him, or that we'll not trust him as much if he admits that he can't do this by himself. But what you said works too!" Mikey clarified, though he didn't disagree with what Donnie said.
Raph looked a bit skeptical. "So, we just hypnotize Leo and tell him to trust us or something? Is that what you guys are wanting to do?"
"I guess? I didn't really think about 'how' we'd do it, I just wanted to throw an idea out there." Mikey admitted.
"Maybe it would help us if we tried to figure out the root cause of Leo not trusting us with his emotions and what he actually has that kind of trust in?" Donnie offered.
It didn't take long for Raph to think of an answer for one half of that question. "He used to talk to Splinter a lot. I mean, when we were stuck in space for six months he started talking to a hologram of him that the holodeck made. So it's pretty obvious that he depended on him a lot for his mental stuff."
Both Mikey and Donnie looked saddened at the mention of Splinter, but they both knew Raph was right. Donnie decided to start writing down some of the things they were talking about on a notepad so he could better organize their group's thoughts into an actual plan. "Now the question is, why doesn't Leo trust us with his emotions enough to talk to us like he did with Splinter?"
"Because Splinter is-was our father? I'm pretty sure most people don't come to their brothers when they're having problems." Raph said in a tone that made it clear that he found the answer to be so obvious that the question wasn't worth asking.
"I used to go to Leo when I had nightmares when we were still really little." Mikey pointed out before adding. "He's always kinda been the 'dad' when Master Splinter's not around."
Raph nodded. "I always hated how he'd try and act like he was the adult even though we're all the same age." Then he stopped to think about it. "Maybe he won't let us help because he still wants us to think of him like that? Especially now that Splinter is...gone. So he might think he needs to be what our father was to all of us?"
"That would make sense for Leo. He's always had pretty high expectations for himself." Donnie admitted, putting it on the notepad before looking at the others. "Do you guys have any ideas about how we'd use hypnosis to get Leo to trust us?"
Raph's eyes widened at that. " Wait, so we're actually doing this?" He asked, a bit surprised that they were seemingly staying with Mikey's idea.
"Maybe." Donnie replied. "It's the only idea we've got right now, and it would be good to have a more concrete plan in case we can't think of anything else."
Mikey seemed excited as he spoke. "Oh! Maybe we could make Leo think he's our little brother!"
"Younger brothers don't always listen to the older ones. Leo could still refuse help and avoid us like he is now even if we did that." Donnie pointed out, knowing that there were plenty of examples of themselves not listening to their big brother.
"Ooookay, maybe we could make him think he's like a kid or something?" Mikey offered. "And we could make him see us kinda like how he saw Master Splinter, people he can look up to and are here to take care of him?"
"And how exactly are we gonna mess with his head in the first place? It's not like what you see on TV where you swing a pendulum in someone's face and they're instantly under your control!" Raph questioned, still very much having doubts about this plan.
"Shini's able to do stuff like that." Mikey pointed out. "But that's not what I meant. I was thinking that Donnie could make something that could do it." He clarified, turning to his genius brother.
Donnie's eyes widened in surprise, before his expression shifted to a thoughtful one, actually contemplating how he could create such a thing. "Give me a minute." He said before he sat down and started making a rough sketch of the hypothetical device, listing out what he'd need to make it and how it would function. He'd need to create an actual blueprint later, but this was good enough to figure out the logistics of this current plan.
His brothers had very different reactions to seeing this. Mikey was brimming with excitement at how seriously Donnie was taking his idea, while Raph was extremely baffled that they were really considering going through with this. He couldn't bring himself to really stop them though, he really didn't have any better ideas beyond strapping Leo to his bed, and that thought was born more from frustration than consideration of how it would actually affect Leo.
It took a few minutes before Donnie finished his sketch and presented it to the others, even though he knew they probably wouldn't understand much of what he'd written down. "So, what I currently have in mind is a small object that will emit signals that will alter some of Leo's thought patterns. I was thinking of having a passive signal that'll help him get better sleep and possibly encourage his appetite, along with prepping his brain for the 'active' signal, which would be the one that would cause the more drastic changes to Leo's thought process."
Raph seemed to only get about half of that due to the speed at which Donnie was talking, while Mikey feigned understanding by nodding his head and saying 'uh huh' a few times during the explanation.
"There's one problem though." Donnie stated.
Raph quirked an eyebrow. "Just one?"
The other turtle continued, ignoring Raph's comment. "Since our goal is to help Leo, we need to make sure the signal doesn't cause his mind serious damage. We also need to make sure the signal only affects him and not any random person exposed to it. So, I'd say that we'd need to find a way for him to be exposed to the passive signal for a notable amount of time each day for...about a week could probably work? Ideally, this exposure would happen while he's asleep since the subconscious is easier to alter than waking consciousness, but since the signal is meant to encourage him to sleep anyway it's probably not worth talking about."
"Then why'd you bring it up?" Raph questioned, tone being somewhat annoyed.
"Mostly to explain why we shouldn't worry about getting affected if we end up being exposed to the signal a lot too, we just need to avoid falling asleep too often while directly exposed to it." Donnie said before continuing. "This exposure will condition Leo so that when the active signal is turned on it won't be as jarring for his brain. The problem is finding a way to get Leo exposed to the signal often enough for it to work."
"Are we going to be hiding this thing in his room?" The more hotheaded turtle asked, still bothered by the idea of making something that would mess with their big brother's brain like this.
"I don't think going into Leo's room to hide something is a good idea. I was thinking more like hiding it in something and giving it to Leo so that he'll put it in his room himself." Donnie clarified.
Mikey seemed very excited at that. "Raph could give him something as a gift!"
"What, why me!?" The turtle in question said, now irritated that he was suddenly getting roped into playing a bigger part in this crazy idea.
"You still like knitting, right?" Mikey asked, undeterred by his brother's clear reluctance.
"Um...well...I..." Raph stammered a bit, blushing as he mumbled under his breath. "Yeah...why are you bringing it up?"
The other turtle quickly wrapped an arm around Raph's shoulder, beaming at his brother's scowling face. "You can make a pillow or a doll that we can put Don's device thing in! That way we all have a part in this." He pointed to himself. "I came up with the idea." Then he gestured to Donnie. "Dee is gonna make the brain-changing thing." He finally poked Raph's cheek. "And you'll make what we hide it in! No one gets left out!"
Raph pushed his baby brother off him. "Maybe I don't want to have a part in this! You guys are talking about messing with Leo's brain!" He said as he pointed at his own head for emphasis. "That's the sort of thing the bad guys we fight do! It's just wrong!"
The other two turtles' expressions became a bit more sympathetic. "Again Raph, it's just an idea. But it's also basically the best plan we have right now. I know it's wrong, but Leo won't cooperate with anything more reasonable, and we can't just leave him to drown in his misery! If you have a better idea, then I'm more than willing to hear it." Donnie said, sincerely hoping that maybe his brother would come up with something that was less immoral.
The other turtle looked between his two younger brothers, both of their faces pleading. He tried to think of something, there were so many more reasonable things that should've been options, but Leo's actions had made it clear he wouldn't take any of them. He hated admitting it, but they were right. This plan was the best thing they had right now. Even if it meant doing something he knew was wrong to his big brother, it would be better than watching as he wasted away.
"Okay, fine. I'll do it." He relented.
-A few days after Raph gave Leo the doll-
Leo didn't know why, but after Raph gave him the doll it felt like things were finally starting to take a turn for the better!
He'd originally settled on covering the doll up with his old duck blanket and putting it against one of the walls in his room, that way it was still technically in plain sight, but he didn't have to see it and be reminded of his father each day. But as that first night progressed, he found himself being more drawn to it. Glancing at where he had it covered up several times before he eventually got out of bed and picked up the doll.
He'd brought it back to his bed and stared at it for a long time, it made him think back to his memories with the real Master Splinter. I made him a bit sad, but it also felt comforting now as he looked at it.
Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to do it just once, he held the doll close as he laid in bed, quickly drifting off into the best sleep he'd had in a long time. Then he did it again the next night, and the night after that. Something about the doll seemed to keep his nightmares and troubling thoughts that normally kept him awake at night from haunting his mind. He felt a little embarrassed at needing a toy to fall asleep, he was definitely not going to let his brothers ever find out, but it really was helping him.
Speaking of his brothers, he'd noticed something a bit odd happening in the lair. They seemed to be leaving random snacks around.
He hadn't noticed at first, the couple days it was a pretty reasonable amount in normal places for his brothers to have forgotten them as they did their routines. Leo had found himself eating these snacks, his stomach always growling at him when he noticed one and he couldn't ignore it as well as he had been the past couple months. He'd felt guilty, since his brothers may have wanted to come back for them later.
Then the amount slowly grew, some even appearing in the dojo. Leo was still training most of the day, but he found himself stepping out to search around the other rooms in the lair in hopes of finding more abandoned snacks. He tried not to do it in a way that made it obvious to his brothers, but he wasn't sure if he actually succeeded in that.
He only realized that it was probably intentional when he looked into the kitchen and saw a plastic bag with some grapes in it. None of his brothers just randomly ate grapes as a snack and it didn't make sense to abandon them if they did. He ate the grapes, feeling thankful that his brothers seemed to be trying to get him to eat without pressuring him into joining family meals like they were doing before.
Sleeping and eating better left Leo feeling more like himself again, but he still couldn't bring himself to stop his constant training or be around his brothers for too long. He still felt like he hadn't made much progress in his personal training, now needing to basically catch up to where he was before his insomnia and self-imposed starvation wrecked his ability to do even basic moves. He also felt a bit nervous at the idea of being around his brothers, worried they might make a comment or start another intervention that would shatter his currently fragile improvement.
He also wasn't really bathing still, though he was trying to at least wipe down the worst smelling or dirtiest parts of himself. That's better than what he was doing before though, which was literally not doing anything other than wash his hands and brush his teeth as his only forms of hygiene.
He'd get back to his old routines eventually. He'd be able to talk to his brothers and actually apologize for being a bit of a jerk to them during such a rough time, eventually. He would he just...wasn't ready yet.