Chapter 23:

I was thinking.

I was thinking so much my brain hurt.

I was thinking about how I could have missed what a total ass my cousin Sirius really was! How could Severus even bear to be in the same room as a guy who had nearly killed him twice? I had honestly thought the incident with the werewolf was an accident. Especially because James Potter had saved him … but after seeing how badly they had treated Severus, I needed to reconsider my views. Sirius and James had no scruples against pushing an innocent boy off a cliff, so why not send him into a werewolf's lair deliberately? What if Sirius had always been a murderer? He just never succeeded in killing anyone.

How could I have been such a fool to believe my cousin? To be deceived by them all when they made it seem like it was Severus who was the bad one for being rude to Sirius.

But now I understood perfectly why he had been like that. In fact, I myself felt like being rude to Sirius.

And Remus? It was one thing to be frightened by his monstrous transformation, but to observe his passiveness . . . it felt different somehow. I knew that Remus said he disagreed with Sirius's behaviour, but that was the key word. Said. He was still friends with those bullies, wasn't he? That made him the third bully, right? How could he still be friends with Sirius when he had behaved like that, unless Remus also had enjoyed Severus's misery? I felt like I needed to speak to him about it. I needed to see things from his perspective. But I couldn't very well confront him with it now, could I? Considering Remus wouldn't be born for another 500 years.

I had been so consumed by my thoughts; I couldn't remember how long I had spent in the tent after we made camp. At some point though, I decided to go outside for a walk. I could hear my travel companions laughing in the distance from where they sat together by the campfire. I stopped by a tree at the outskirts of the camp, looking out over a moonlit sea in the distance when someone suddenly came up to me from behind a bush.

It was Sir Fergus.

The skinny knight smiled happily when he saw me, but there was a nervous streak in his eyes that made me tense. I felt a sense of dread at the sight of him, but I wasn't sure why.

"Hello," said Sir Fergus.

"Hi?" I answered with raised eyebrows.

"Forgive me, Lady Andromeda, I- . . . I wanted to see you."

"Um . . . Why?" I asked, wanting to leave immediately.

"Why? For I cannot hide my feelings any longer," said Sir Fergus and stepped closer. "For several days I have struggled, but it will not do. I must let you know about my feelings for you."

I couldn't do anything but stare in shock.

Fergus carefully took my hand in his "The first time I saw you I couldn't look away. Your beauty is incomparable. Your hair, and your fair skin are beyond perfection. You have created an indention in my heart." He looked apologetic when he cupped my hand with both of his. "I- I know that you are a married woman. and I know I shouldn't approach you like this but . . . I think there is something real between us. Something unique and beautiful."

He stepped closer while I gaped at him like a fish.

"I love you, my lady! I cannot bear to be without you any longer! Please! For my sanity, I must beg you to tell me if there is a chance for us!"

When I didn't do anything but make non-discernible sounds, he kissed my hand with a winning smile. "I beg of you, my lady. I cannot tell you how much I love you. I have pined for you ever since I first laid eyes on you . . . your companion is not worthy of someone like you. He does not show you affection like I can, and he does not seem to love you the way a husband should. I can offer you that. I can love you with both my heart and my body. My lady. . ." Sir Fergus stepped even closer still. "I suggest we leave, together you and I. We can seek happiness and prosperity somewhere far away from here. Away from your indifferent husband and-"

I pulled out my hand from his grip. It was amazing he would assume so easily that I would say yes.

"Sir Fergus, I am sorry, but I have to say no! I won't leave my husband. Not for anyone."

"Ah, but my lady, I have observed the two of you together. He doesn't love you. How such an unattractive man as Sir Ronald could get a woman as beautiful as you, I have no idea. But I can assure you he cannot fulfil your needs like I can."

"Wow!" I exclaimed "Sir! I appreciate the offer and everything, but I must kindly decline. The only man that I love in existence is my husband and that is final!"

Sir Fergus sighed and looked crestfallen. I almost felt bad for him . . . until he suddenly flung himself at me.

I tell myself I could have taken him down, but he took me by surprise. I had been traveling for so many days with this guy it had never occurred to me I shouldn't trust him. I had made the mistake of judging all three of the men according to Nick. Nick was an honourable man, but that didn't necessarily mean the others were.

Fergus held one arm around my neck and opened a vial with the other. He then poured the content down my throat. I tried to spit it out, but it was too late. I'd swallowed enough of it for the effects to take hold. I expected to lose consciousness or choke to death or something, but nothing happened. Instead, he released me. I staggered and looked up at him.

Then it occurred to me how utterly handsome he really was.

His narrow face was framed by his long, mousy brown hair. His pointy nose and his thin lips were so beautiful in the moonlight.

He must have given me a potion to see clarity! Sir Fergus was the one and only love for me. How could I ever have thought otherwise? I laughed from happiness, put my hands on both sides of his beautiful face and kissed him thoroughly.

Oh, how great he tasted! I wanted more of him, I wanted everything of him! But Sir Fergus pulled away and put his hands on my face. "You must be patient, my love," he said warmly. His raspy tenor voice gave me chills down my spine. "We must get ready to run away, but I need to fetch some things for our journey. I want you to wait here for me, can you do that?"

"Of course, my love." I answered happily. Of course I could wait for him. I would do anything for him.

But when the love of my life left, I immediately felt his loss. How could I survive for a second without him? The pain was so great I wanted to wail in anguish. But then I turned and saw a problem approaching from a different direction.

Snape.

I cursed under my breath. Not good. Snape wasn't interested in my happiness. He'd only want to thwart our plans to run away together. All that selfish bastard wanted was to find a cure to that stupid potion, but at this moment I couldn't remember what was so important about it. If he insisted on finding a potion instead of letting me run away with the man I loved, he was truly an evil bastard!

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" asked Snape with an angry frown as he came up to me.

"I don't know what you mean," I said innocently. I thought the best idea was to make Snape go away so I could run away unnoticed. But that meant I had to be cunning.

"I felt this surge of panic just a minute ago and now you're snogging the very man you told me not to encourage . . . what happened?"

I couldn't remember what he was talking about. Panic? I certainly couldn't remember any panic. Curse him and his meddling! Snape would ruin everything!

"I don't know, maybe it was when I slipped on a log earlier." I brushed him off.

"I think it was more than that, Tonks."

"Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"

"Are you drunk?" he suddenly asked with a different kind of frown.

"Severus, that's rude!" I said affronted. "Of course I am not drunk! Don't you have someone else to bother? Why don't you leave me alone!?"

But Snape, that persistent bastard, didn't leave. Instead, he put two fingers under my chin and examined my face. "Now you're being rude. It's very unlike you."

I backed away from him "I didn't give you permission to touch me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm simply making sure you're okay." There was a streak of hurt in his eyes.

"Well, there is no need for you to do that. I'm perfectly fine. Besides, you don't have the right to get involved in my business. You don't need to check on me all the time. We're not really married, remember? My heart belongs to someone else."

". . . I am aware of that. You like werewolves."

I snorted. "I don't like werewolves! Where did you get that from?"

Snape nodded as if his suspicions had been confirmed. "You are under the influence of a love potion," he stated rudely.

"I certainly am not!"

"Yes, you are, your pupils are dilated, and you are acting strange. I assume you are currently in love with Sir Fergus?"

"My love for Sir Fergus is not some influence of a love potion! It's real! How can you be so horrible as to suggest that? All you want is for me to come with you to that stupid well!"

"You might have noticed our journey to that stupid well is kind of important. What do you think will happen the next time it rains, and I will be the one sucking Sir Fergus's face off?"

"I can't believe you would suggest something like that!"

"You do realize that the instant you turn into me, Sir Fergus will stop loving you?"

"No! I refuse to believe that! Our love will transcend anything. I'm sure he'll still love me whatever form I have."

"He won't." Severus stated rudely again. "I'm a guy, remember. He'll stop loving you the instant you turn into a guy. He'll desire me instead, simply because I'm in your body."

I couldn't believe my ears. I stared at Snape in disbelief. I was so angry my eyes filled up with tears again. This was the umpteenth time I cried in front of him. "I can't believe you," I said. "How can you be so horrible? What are you going to do? Keep me away from my love forever? You're the most selfish man I have ever met!"

By now my tears were streaming down my face, but Snape seemed unmoved. In fact, he had the nerve to roll his eyes and pointed his wand at me. I could hardly react before he stunned me.

I woke up inside our tent and glared hatefully at Snape who sat next to me. "You stunned me! You despicable bastard!"

"Yes yes, I'm horrible. Besides, it's about time I got my payback." said Snape with a smirk. "Now drink this."

I glared at the vial that he held out to me. I wanted to slap it out of his hand. "And what is that gonna do? Poison me? Or is that a vial of real love potion so you can force me to come with you?"

Snape sighed. "You are strangely vicious when you're in love. Remind me never to come between you and Lupin in any way."

"Why do you keep talking about Lupin? He means nothing to me! It's Sir Fergus I want. Are you going to keep me here forever, Severus? Will you never let me go to him?" My eyes teared up again. This time in despair. I had after all noticed he was holding both of our wands in his right hand, out of my reach.

He sighed again then his expression suddenly changed. His eyes became warm, and he turned to look directly at me. "Tonks" he said calmly "I have talked to Sir Fergus. I will let you go with him if that is what you want. Sir Fergus is standing right outside, waiting for you. All you must do is drink this."

"And what is it?"

"It is for protection on your journey, I promise it's safe. Sir Fergus made it himself."

If sir Fergus made it, how could it be bad? I took the vial without hesitation and swallowed it.

Then I laid back on my blankets and covered my face with both hands.

"Ahrrg!" I groaned.

"How are you feeling?" his tone was slightly teasing.

"I kissed that bastard!"

Severus didn't say anything but when I peeked at him through my fingers, he looked appalled.

"If you hadn't noticed something was wrong, I would have been off with him by now. You have no idea how much I appreciate our connection right now. . . Merlin, I was horrible to you! I am so sorry!" I said and touched his arm.

"Don't worry about it."

I groaned again. "And I am such a dupe! How could I fall for your stupid lie about the potion? I know you're a better liar than that, but you didn't even try."

He snorted. "People are always gullible under the effects of love potions."

I groaned again. "Well, thank you anyways. Where is that Fergus bastard? I want to kill him."

"I have no idea," said Severus innocently.

"What did you do to him?" I asked, amused at his tone.

"We had a little talk while you were out. He's gone now."

"What did you say?" Severus only gave an evil smirk. "You didn't castrate him, did you?"

"Why would I ever do such a thing?" he said, looking like he thought castration was a good idea. "No, I simply gave him a piece of my mind. And a small furuncle jinx." he added as an afterthought.

I couldn't help but laugh. I didn't mind it if Severus had actually castrated that horrible fool. I sat up and shoved his shoulder lightly. "You're not actually a despicable bastard."

He smiled for real this time.

I wanted to hug him, but I wasn't sure he'd appreciate that. He might still be angry with me for my legilimency blunder earlier. Instead, I shoved his shoulder again with a smile. "How did you manage to make the antidote anyways?"

"You do realize who you're talking to, right? I have been a potions teacher for fourteen years, why would an antidote to a love potion be a problem?"

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean. Where did you get the ingredients from?"

Severus explained that he got most of his ingredients from Nick and Goddart's supplies. Nick and Goddart had been appalled when Severus told them what Fergus had tried to do, and they had been keen to assure him that they were not like that. It was however too late to stop Fergus from leaving, and it was only after he left that they discovered how much of their stuff he had brought with him.

I didn't get to see how angry Goddart and Nick were until the morning after when we gathered for breakfast around the campfire. Nick looked despondent. His eyes darted back and forth, looking at anything but me, while Goddart poked angrily at the embers in the fire. Fergus had stolen a lot of valuables from them including both their brooms and all of their gold. But he had left his horse Gaius behind.

Goddart was willing to ride after Fergus and kill him, but Nick pointed out that they had more important things to do. Their quest to find the Well of Lives was on a time limit, and they couldn't afford to be sidetracked. We concluded that it was best to continue on our journey even though we lacked a few things.

We didn't want to leave Gaius behind on his own, and so we decided that Severus was going to ride Gaius from now on. Gaius didn't seem to mind that his owner had left him behind and was of a much sweeter disposition than Difficult was. He and Severus got along a lot quicker than expected, something that made Severus feel a lot more confident about riding.

The next few days however were horrible. The mood between the four of us was quiet and disheartened. The rain that kept us soaking through two continuous days didn't just keep coming, but it kept dissipating, then coming back again. The second day was especially bad when the weather continually shifted between rain and cloudy weather. We went through four episodes of switches before I decided to stop the journey for the day.

"We need to take a break. I'm gonna fall off if we keep switching."

Severus nodded from his horse in front of me (he was in his own body at the time) and without further ado he yelled for Nick and Goddart to stop. "Andromeda tells me she is not feeling well. I think we should put up camp for the day. It is dangerous to ride on"

Nick and Goddart agreed, and we set up camp. I pretended to be woozy and went to lay down immediately. I didn't mind being alone for a moment anyways. I had spent so much time around men by now it was good to simply meditate alone in the tent. Snape was surprisingly willing to help out with setting up camp with Goddart and Nick, but he joined me the instant the dizziness came over us again. He plopped down on his side of the tent in an uncharacteristically relaxed way and waited for the dizziness to get over with.

As I opened my eyes in his body, he turned to me from the other side of the tent.

"It appears to me that it is always you who pry into my life, but I have never tried to ask about yours." He said while he played with one of his brown curls.

"That's because I talk about myself without having to be asked. Me is my favourite topic" I said theatrically.

Snape snorted but didn't say anything to contradict me. "You are making yourself sound like Gilderoy Lockhart."

I looked at him in surprise. "You've met Gilderoy Lockhart!?"

"He was a teacher at Hogwarts two years ago. You didn't know?"

"Oh, yes!" I exclaimed when I remembered. "I saw it in the newspapers, but I didn't think more about it. I must have lost track of him, but then again, I was never into him like my mum was. She had such a crush on him. My dad was so jealous."

Snape snorted. "I can't imagine what they saw in him, but everyone had a crush on that guy. That was, of course, until they met him." he said with a crooked smile.

"Oooh. I detect a juicy story. Do tell!" I said intrigued. Snape proceeded to tell me various tales about how Gilderoy Lockhart had been as a teacher and how they had discovered what he did to the real heroes of his books.

I was appalled. Based on his books Lockhart had seemed like a bit of a self-important idiot, but a hero nonetheless. But this was beyond despicable.

"So, he just obliviated them and pretended he'd done the deed himself?"

"Correct."

"What a despicable moron!"

"Indeed." agreed Snape.

"The worst part is, if he had been honest and given the credits to the real heroes he could probably have sold just as many books!"

"Probably not. People are exceedingly vain. They loved his books because he was handsome, and because he was very good at selling himself as merchandise."

I studied him for a second. "You have a point, but I don't like it. I like to be optimistic about humanity but things like this makes it very hard."

Snape smirked again.

The weather cleared up the next morning. When I woke up, I was in my own body again. The grass was still wet under my feet, I could still smell the freshness after the rain, but the sky was blue and without a cloud. While the other men prepared for breakfast, Severus and I went into the forest to collect edible plants again.

This time we met no unicorns, but it felt like there was something else watching me. The forest was eerily quiet, and I constantly had a feeling I was being watched. I crept silently along the forest floor and looked around on the trees, too distracted to look on the ground. There was definitely something watching me. But I wasn't sure what. Could it be people?

I turned suddenly when I heard something rustle right next to me. But it was only a bird. Still, I felt shaken.

I decided to go back to Snape and stick to him through our search. He would probably tease me about being jumpy when there was nothing to be afraid of, but I didn't care. He could tease me all he wanted. I didn't like this place. But as I headed in his direction, I realized I couldn't find him. It seemed like he had strayed further away from me than I thought. This made me nervous, and I felt an eerie sense of foreboding. He shouldn't have done that.

I was about to call his name when I heard something that made my chest fill with dread. Only sixty feet away from me, I could hear Severus yelling in pain, then I heard the thump of a body hitting the forest floor. It came from the direction I had just come. How come I didn't see him when I passed him? My heart was filled with panic when I ran towards the sound.

As I came into the clearing where Snape had yelled out, I found him lying on the ground. Gasping for air. I screamed when I saw what stuck out of his chest. An arrow had pierced straight through his heart and blood seeped out of his wound and covered his green tunic in a deep red colour. I looked around in panic, but I could see no one that could have shot the arrow. But still, someone must have done it, and my mind instantly fell on Sir Fergus.

I ran over to Severus and knelt next to him but there was nothing I could do. His eyes were staring emptily into the forest crown, and I couldn't hold back a sob when I put my fingers to his neck and felt nothing.

He was dead.