Dora stayed in bed even after her alarm went off. The last few weeks had drained her and she was tempted to tell Dawlish she just couldn't do it, and go back to sleep.

When Evan was nearly eleven months old, her and Remus discussed having another baby. It would be their last child, they had decided, and they had the room. She was pregnant by March. She worried her robes would give it away before they wanted to announce it(considering she showed so quickly and obviously with the Evan and Teddy), and since Dawlish had to know first so he didn't put her on any raids, she was able to get away with not wearing her robes by having him keep her in the Ministry.

Which meant doing research. This time, it was research about a new spell they had been hearing about that seemed to one of Rodolphus' creations. They were still finding the augurey in places, but were close to deciding it was just some kids causing trouble. This spell, however, was not. They had to exhume the graves of four supposed-murder victims only to find out that had been the curse used, a curse that petrified the body so completely, they appeared dead. They were unsure if the victims were aware or not, and Dora hoped they were not. She could imagine few things were more horrific than being buried alive(though, people being slowly digested alive by a dragon was still the top most horrific thing she had encountered). St Mungo's was still unsure what to do with the victims, and now there were eight of them total. Dora figured it was good that the magical community did not always embalm the dead.

And then Remus caught pneumonia and Teddy caught a flu from some Muggle kids in the neighbourhood. She moved into the empty bedroom once occupied by Harry and Ginny, not wanting to catch Remus' illness. A few potions and he should be fine. A bit of rest and Teddy would be fine.

But then March's full moon came. She had felt off all evening and began to worry she had caught something. Shortly before dawn, the cramps began and she knew what it meant.

And then Remus didn't wake up after he turned back.

He spent three days in St Mungo's. Healer Davis said it was likely just the stress of being ill coupled with the full moon that had sent him over the edge. There was no explanation for why she miscarried.

Dawlish gave her over two weeks off, telling her not to worry about how long she took to come back. Truthfully, though, she hated not working. Remus returned to work before she did, and she returned a few days before Teddy's seventh birthday. He had started to show small signs of magic, but they had already known he was magical, because she was certain he wouldn't have inherited morphing otherwise. However, they had not been prepared for the amount of lightbulbs they'd have to repair. Her mother had laughed after she complained about replacing four in the course of a few days.

"You set fire to the kitchen, so you have no room to complain about a few lightbulbs!"

Dora supposed she was right. There were worse things accidental magic could do.

When she finally rose, Remus was already ready for work and about to leave. She knew, if he was well enough to work, that she should move back into their bedroom at some point.

Ruth had already arrived to watch the kids for them. "Andy's coming by later, we'll take the kids to the park if the weather clears." Ruth said, handing her breakfast.

"You're here to watch the kids, not cook for us." Dora said.

"I can do both, can't I?" Ruth said. She had a fondness for Remus and often dropped by with cooking or baking for them all. Dora supposed it was still good, that after all these years, she was still so entwined in their family. She had worried Roofie's loss would drive a wedge between them.

Remus gave Dora a kiss before accepting a small hug from Ruth. "Thank you as always, Ruth. Teddy, behave yourself!" He called into the living room.

"Oh, he always does." Ruth said and Remus disappeared through the Floo. "What time are you due at the Ministry?"

"Around nine, then we'll be going on our raid by ten."

"The weather is awful today, you'll be careful, won't you?"

"Always am." She said. "Besides, the rain may actually give us an advantage. We hope."

While that was true, it was also true that it would give Rodolphus and his friends an advantage. The heavy rain hid footprints well enough, the sound of the rain hid movements, but that went both ways.

Which, Dora figured, is why everything went to shit.

"I was starting to wonder if you had left the Aurors." Harry said as Dora sat in the chair of her old desk, next to Harry's. She worked almost exclusively out of Dawlish's office now.

She gave a smile, but there was something behind it that made Harry feel it wasn't really genuine. "No, I was just sick." Dora said. "I'm alright now."

Dora had been sick for a few weeks, he knew. But he also knew Remus had caught pneumonia and Teddy had caught a flu from some Muggle kids in the neighbourhood and so Harry assumed she must have caught something as well. They had not allowed Harry, Ginny or James to visit while Remus and Teddy were sick, not wanting to pass anything along. Remus had wound up hospitalized after the last full moon two and a half weeks before, which is when Dora had disappeared from work. Harry assumed it was to care for him, but then he had heard that Remus returned to work while she hadn't. She had only just returned two days ago, and then he realised she was back in her robes, which she had stopped wearing weeks ago. She had been in a better mood before her disappearance, though.

"Are you going on a mission today?" He asked, gesturing to her robes.

"We are." Dora said. "Also, Remus would like to ask you three to dinner. He's still got a cough, but he's long past any infectious stage, and it is Teddy's birthday tomorrow-"

"I imagine you're also not infectious if you're actually talking to me."

"That wasn't on purpose. I haven't even slept in the same room as Remus for weeks now just so I didn't catch his pneumonia. I just wasn't sure whether I could accidentally spread it to you and have you take it home. Plus, Dawlish and I have been working on some research. I've not been avoiding you."

"Well, what do we get to do today?"

"We have new leads on Rodolphus-"

"Oh, for fuck's sake..." Harry grumbled. "Every few months, and he gets away every time!"

"Yeah, we still get the pleasure of trying. We're taking Savage and Thomas."

"We could take the entire department and the bastard will still slip away." Harry said. "How does he do it? He's got to be the last one and we still can't get him?"

"It's as baffling to me as it is to you." Dora said. "Our current concern is that he has apparently made some new friends."

"And let me guess, we'll arrest them before we arrest him." Harry said. Dora gave him another small smile. "Alright, let's go get disappointed again."

Dora laughed as they stood. Dean and Savage met them at the Apparition point, looking just as enthusiastic as Harry felt. Rodolphus truly was a pain in the ass for all of them.

"We'll be met there by Hit Wizards. Rodolphus is the main target." Dora said. "The Hit Wizards have authority to take him down, but anyone else must be taken in alive."

The rain began falling heavier shortly after they arrived outside the gates of an old manor. It had struck them as odd that the leads brought them here, to the Lestrange Manor, but hopefully they'd get lucky this time.

They barely passed the gates when the first spells were fired at them. They returned just as much fire, the Hit Wizards splitting off to try and circle to the back of the manor.

Harry heard Dora yell his name a second too late to warn him of the bright yellow bolt that struck him in the chest, throwing him back. He hit the ground hard, rolling a few times before landing on his back.

A burning sensation tore through his chest and body in a quick flash, before it seemed like all feeling in his body vanished except for a burning feeling where he got hit.

If this was what truly dying felt like, Harry did not like it.

At seventeen, he would have accepted it. There was a moment, a brief one, where he might have even preferred it to the constant fight of staying alive.

Now, staying alive was all he wanted.

He thought of Ginny, who was currently preparing for her first season of Quidditch since James' birth. They had discussed having another baby already, but she wanted to get one or two seasons of Quidditch done first. Their house would be empty again, James staying with his grandparents while Harry worked and Ginny had been asked to join the Harpies for a few practice games that day. It had taken them until James was four months old to move into the house, happy to accept help from Remus and Dora until then. Now, babysitting James while Harry and Ginny worked alternated between Molly, Arthur or Remus and Dora- but Molly had been doing the majority of the babysitting for a few weeks.

He thought of tiny James, with his dark hair that seemed to be very slightly reddish in tone, yet still so dark it was easy to assume his hair was as black as Harry's, and his eyes that were the same hazel as Ginny's. He had turned one a few weeks before, nearly the age Harry had been when he lost his own father. It was hardly a comfort that at least James would have Ginny.

His glasses were gone. Rain pelted him, soaking through his robes.

"Thomas, cover us! Harry, don't move!" Came Dora's frantic demand, but he couldn't even if he wanted to.

Dora's hands were warm and somewhat comforting, but she was rough as she pulled at his robes, undoing the buttons and tearing through his shirt with a quick spell. The rain felt cold against his burning chest, but he still had no idea what spell had hit him. It felt as if his entire body was continuing to go numb.

He couldn't move, he wasn't even sure he was breathing. He also couldn't blink. It was as if his body believed him to already be dead.

He realised, of all the Aurors he could have been working with, he was glad that if he was going to die- at least he would be with someone so familiar. Harry was glad she was on the mission with him today. If he had to die, at least he wouldn't be alone.

A spell whizzed over them, Dora flattening herself over Harry's body to avoid being hit. She had her ear against his chest, and then he felt the pressure lift as she shifted so she was in his eyesight. "We'll get you to St Mungo's, Harry. I've read reports about this spell, it's going to be okay." She promised. "You're going to pass out, but it's okay. You will not die, I promise."

Harry was certain if anyone else promised such a thing, he may have doubts. But he figured, if there was anyone he should be able to trust, it should be his mentor.

He wasn't sure whether his eyes were closing or not, but black spots began to take over his vision. He could hear the duels getting closer just as he passed out.

June 2005

A heart attack, Dawlish's letter said. He wasn't coming back, he added.

She was Head Auror now.

Sure enough, the morning after Dawlish's heart attack, she found herself in the office with Kingsley and Penny, being handed a new badge that declared her as such. Penny had become Head of Magical Law a few months before, taking over for Robards who had finally had enough of the job and quit. Jefferson transferred to Magical Patrol after Penny's promotion and became the Head of that department.

And Dora was terrified.

Rita Skeeter ran wild with it within a day. First female Head Auror, and Rita had a lot of opinions about a job she knew nothing about and could never do. Could they trust a woman? Would she be too emotional for the job? Too delicate? Apparently, according to Rita, she had sources that said older Aurors were uncertain about their new boss. Dora wondered who, considering everyone had accepted the change immediately and congratulated her. But she also knew Rita was an idiot and made up sources.

Rita made up a thrilling tale of why Dawlish retired. She was certain it was poison. Perhaps it was a curse. Perhaps he had died and no one would admit it.

Truthfully, he had simply keeled over while he was talking with Dora. They got him to St Mungo's within fifteen minutes, and Dora had done chest compressions until the Healers arrived. And that had been that. There had been no curse, no poison, simply a heart attack.

But, it at least distracted Rita from publishing articles every few days saying the Chosen One had died or was dying or was permanently comatose. Ginny was threatening to go and curse Rita. Dora hated that the Daily Prophet really could not be silenced.

"Who will be your deputy?" Kingsley had asked.

"I don't know." Dora had answered, and the look on Kingsley's face made it clear he did not want a repeat of how long Dawlish took. "I wanted it to be Harry." She added quickly. "I would like to wait and see how his recovery goes."

Kingsley's expression softened. "Alright, but you must choose quickly. If something happens while you don't have one, it makes it difficult to run the department."

"Can I show you something?" Dora asked, crawling into bed.

Remus set his book down. "I'm certain it won't matter what I answer, you seem eager to share."

She glared playfully at him, and then pulled her hair back. "Look, it's starting to grey."

'Starting to grey' was a generous term, considering Remus could see a total of two silver hairs by her temple. He was nearly completely grey now, with the areas around his temples starting to look more white than grey.

"You could be morphing that." Remus offered, though he knew she now dropped any morphs when she was at home.

"You would accuse me of that?"

"You have given yourself grey hair a few times, so yes." He said, pulling her towards him. She gave a surprised laugh as he planted a kiss against her temple, where the silver hair was hardly visible. "I guess this means you're old too, huh?" He asked, pressing a kiss to her neck. "Had the job a total of a week and it's aging you."

"I'm catching up to you." She said, raking a hand through his hair, pulling him closer. It was always the smallest actions that triggered his body, and it really did not take much near the full moons. He pulled at her clothes before shedding his own, returning to kissing his way down her neck, pushing her onto her back. He pushed her legs apart with his knee, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she hooked one of her legs around his waist. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, the faint smell of her soap driving him insane.

The oversensitivity caused by the moon rising in less than twenty four hours meant the act did not take long, but he always tried to keep out of his own head long enough to make sure she was satisfied too.

Except for tonight. In the back of his mind, something told him something was off. Her nails were digging into his back almost painfully, but then he was so close and the other part of his mind ignored it. It wasn't until after he finished that he even realised she was sobbing.

He felt awful.

"Dora, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling away from her.

She had pulled the blanket over her naked form, sitting up. "I can't breathe, I don't know-"

"You're having a panic attack, why didn't you stop me?"

That question made it worse. He felt like he had violated her.

"I'm sorry!" She sobbed. He wanted to comfort her but he felt that touching her immediately after what had happened was not the right move.

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry about. I should have noticed something was wrong."

Somehow, this made her cry harder. "I just- I started thinking about how you said I've had the job a week and I don't know if I can do it. How can I run the department with the mistakes I've made? I've gotten Harry killed-"

"He's not dead!" Remus snapped before he could help himself.

"It was my mistake, I was too slow to shield Harry and then I thought about Sirius and how he'd probably be alive if I could have held my own back then and-"

"Dora, stop." Remus said, finally reaching to take her hand. "You blame yourself for things that are not your fault. Harry and Sirius would agree, what happened to them was not your fault. Sirius went to your aid so Bellatrix didn't kill you while you were down. He knew what he was doing, it was not your fault. And Harry knew the risk of the job-"

"What if they can't wake Harry up?" She continued, trying to take deep breaths. "Ginny's alone and now with the new baby coming-"

"We'll help her." Remus said. It had shocked all of them, especially Ginny, when she found out she was pregnant mere weeks after Harry's curse. "She's not alone. Look at me." Her eyes, red and puffy, met his. "If you don't want the job, don't keep it. You've been struggling with these awful memories for years, if taking the job is too much for you, I'm sure Penny will understand. You would not be the first Auror to leave due to PTSD, I'm certain."

Dora was finally taking slower breaths, no longer looking at him. "I want the job." She finally said. "I really do."

"Of course you do, and you're going to do great." Remus said. "I'm going to get you something to help you sleep and then I'll get up early with the kids, you should enjoy your day off."

"I don't really have days off without a deputy. I need to go see Harry again and get an update, and I have paperwork to do-"

"And that will all get done, after you get some rest." He said, standing. He grabbed his pajamas, pulling them on. He handed her the tshirt she usually slept in. He went into their bathroom, where they kept a few potions stashed. He brought her a sleeping draught and a contraceptive potion, since he could not recall casting the charm. The charm would not work after the fact, but the potion would and he figured they should wait to risk a pregnancy until they discussed whether or not they wanted to try again. He handed her the two vials and she looked confused for a moment. "I don't believe I cast the charm." Remus explained. "If we have another child, tonight is not the right time for it to happen."

She nodded, downing the potions one after the other.

"Dora..." Remus said slowly, sitting on the bed. "I don't want that to happen again. If you ever change your mind or have another panic attack, do not just lay there and take it. Tell me to stop."

Dora was staring down at the blanket now, but she nodded.

"Would you like me to sleep in the other room to give you some space?"

Her eyes snapped to meet his. "No. I'm not angry with you, why would I want you to leave?"

Remus knew she wasn't angry. That didn't stop him from being angry at himself.