Lily pov
Lily was mortified. She was basically frozen in her place, watching her not husband awe struck at watching something as silly as a lawn mower.
Her first thought was to run, turn back, close the door and ignore what happened. The second one was to embrace her lover boy and kiss him senseless.
Her teen body was embarrassed at the second thought, her adult mind was horrified of the first thought and she ended up standing there like a statue, doing nothing but staring at James.
His eager face, his young face not troubled with pain and loss, not hardened by losing his parents and his unborn son, was simply heart breaking. She watched him, her future husband who had not even grown into his full height, nor had he grown a quota of facial hair. Still boyish and innocent and unaware of the cruelties of the world, James Potter was standing in front of her house.
She was reminded of what, of why she had fallen for him.
Sure, his looks were great. Who wouldn't like that charming smile and lively hair and lovely eyes.
But it was his manners that drove Lily to his side.
His open-mindedness in dealing with Sirius and Remus.
His resolve and gentleness in supporting his friends, especially Remus whom they had turned into animagi for. His charm and humor that made the toughest days easier to bear, and his quick wit and wand work put into protecting the helpless.
She could stand there for the eternity, basking in the calm scene before her.
"Lily! You are alive!"
Or not.
And there went the easy silence.
Now how she could deal with her to be husband who was now a stupid teen?
Wait alive?
"Why shouldn't I be?"
She said as she stepped away from his quite enthusiastic hugging attempt. Gush, was he always this ignorant of another person wishes? They were not even acquaintances at this point and he was going to go for a hug?
"Err, Remy said you lived near the greasy git and you didn't answer, so I came to check on you" he told her as if it was the easiest thing in the world not one bit uneasy of her stepping aside or reluctance.
The nerve!
She should have a bloody talk with Remus and make it so he could understand exactly why he should not have shared her address! Did these guys know nothing about personal space? Privacy? Something alongside that?
And greasy git.
She was suddenly transferred to the day, the first day they called him that. The little second year student had put his head on her shoulder and cried. She had her first real fight with the newly named Marauders then.
Even if she was angry, even if she hated what that little boy had become, avoided thinking about him, but it wasn't right.
Before that day, the lake accident, he was her friend, more than just a friend maybe. And she, as 22 years old could not forget the way that 12 years old boy's shoulder shook when he was upset over that name.
"First of all, Remus is in big trouble, you tell him that. He shouldn't have told you, or anyone what I shared with him in confidence, and you mister, have to stop calling him names!"
"Calling who?" apparently, he ignored what he didn't like to hear, just like all boys.
"Snape! I man Snape and you know it! I told you a hundred times he is neither greasy nor a git! And you are a racist if you don't stop calling him that! He has Indian roots and they use oil on their hair! He is perfectly clean and he is not a git!"
His gaping mouth was so funny.
"You. You still defend that. that death eater wanna be?"
And there she had it.
The hurtful truth she was avoiding with all her might. That he had turned into a death eater who would kill and torture people just for their ancestors not being magical.
What happened to the boy who was so gentle he didn't even broke twigs, said the trees had lives too.
What happened to the boy who had attended her grandma's funeral and held her when she cried?
Was she not enough? Was her friendship that meaningless? Why he had let his house, and hate of his muggle brute father change him that much? She could recall his father was a bit rough, and had slapped him once or twice but who didn't? Severus had a creative way of calling people stupid and incompetent. She herself had shoved him once or twice when he had said very colorful words about her sister.
The hypocritical bastard. He was a half-blood! Therefore, he was part mud blood. How he, a supposed brilliant guy, had fallen for it?
How he had exchanged all she was for the promise of glory?
And God it was killing her. It hurt like an open wound that was just added salt on. Had she not been the woman she was.
"Not the part of him being, wanting to be that. Never. But his ethnicity does not have anything with it. And what, what you did to him there, at the lake wasn't right. It was called bullying, and I don't particularly care for bullies."
"Right. But I did it for you!"
She sighed. How stubborn and pig headed one could be? How he could fool himself into thinking he did that despicable act for her sack? Did he have any working brain cells in his teen brain?
"No James. You did it for the rush of excitement, for the crowd cheering you and your lot. If it was for me, you had never started it, or did you forget me begging you to stop it?"
James screws his face. He damn well knows she is right, but he won't acknowledge it for the life of him. His face darkens a shade and Lily does not like it much. It makes him look like, look like his mad counterpart, the future hunter who killed and …
Ok. Stop there. You are in present past. Those events won't happen. You tell Dumbledore the things he needs to hear, tell him to make Snape his spy and get you family and leave. Lily, this lily won't have a thing with wars and battle anymore.
"But you enjoyed it! You smiled!"
Had she?
She couldn't remember. It was many many years ago and she had a difficult time facing her family and her not husband. Why he thought it would be important for her to remember?
And she was quite certain she wouldn't have. Then, they were friends. Smiling at his misery was not her type, she had even berated James and co in 6th year for harassing him, when they were not friends.
It made her angry.
"How dare you come here like you own the place, without even asking me first, trying to manhandle me and hug me without my bloody permission, being a total racist and then accusing me of making fun of Snape? "
She stepped back into the house.
"Good day to you too! I hope you can find your way back home easily"
Or not easily at all. She knew James's parents were not thrilled with his stunts much, and he couldn't call on the elves. So, it was the knight bus- a most horrible experience- or muggle means or walking for quite a time to the next floo.
And she closed the door with more force it needed, hoping it could teach the goatheaded teen a lesson.
Fat chance of it.
-- -- --
Severus pov
The earth vanished from under him, or so he thought.
There, hiding in the bushes, kneeling so no-one could notice him, his legs gave away. Had it not been for him half reclining on his arms, he would have fallen to the muddy ground, still wet from being watered in the morning.
Choking on air and his saliva, he put his fist in his mouth so they wouldn't hear him half sobbing-half choking, a thing he was an expert in thanks to Tobias being the bastard he was. Whenever he was beating him, if he made a sound, he would use his belt rather his fists, telling him 'men aint pussies'.
Men were supposed to provide for the families, Men were supposed to protect their children, men were supposed to love their families…
And yet he never had it in him to tell the fucker that.
He really was the pussy Tobias called him.
His lungs burned for air, and he couldn't breathe. His knees hurt like hell and he couldn't move.
Half of it was because of Potter, fearing him.
You see, his first year, there was a six year who took pity on him before Malfoy did. The boy told him to hold his head down, and never, never ever cross a pure blood.
No, school spats didn't count. But beside that…
He told him the story of a curious half blood, who uncovered an unpleasant truth about one of the pure blooded raven claws…
His works got lost. His potions ruined. His clothes got torn. Suddenly he was the unluckiest guy around..
Just lasted for a month.
He was lucky. He had the fortune of having wealthy parents and got transferred to America.
"never get entangled with them in three things, love , law, heritage. All of them are connected one way or another, and they always have their family back"
And now Potter was standing carefree, in front of the Evans household, like he had been there too many time.
Like he beloned.
It was only weeks past their, his and Lily fight.
Weeks and Lily already forgotton about him.
Forgiven his tormentor, like she always did.
How long had it taken him, Severus to be invited to her house? Three months?
And here was Potter. Less than a month and he was here.
was severus so wrong about her? She was his first friend. His best friend, yes he had Lucius and Regulus as friends too.
And she was his first crush, his first kiss.
And it seemed severus had not been her first anything. Not her friend, not her besty, not her first kiss.
Was it the reason she smiled? That she had fooled him so good he …
Just why?
His heart refused to believe it.
He watched as Lily looked at Potter like she knew her, like he was like a family to her. Severus knew that look. The look she had on her when she was looking at Petunia, or her parents.
Like Potter was a dear as them to her.
His eyes refused to cry.
What use was there to denial? To wailing like a child?
But was it all a lie? Fake?
"yer mudblood is just using ya. You aint good 'nough for the likes of her"
And he was not, was he?
A lowly halfblood, with foreign blood- Indian- and not even pureblooded from his father's side. A poor one who had no connection, who was neither charming nor handsome.
And Potter.
A fully pureblood of the first degree, his parents rich, reeking of money and blessed with good looks and a lying toungue.
What he had thought?
He stumbled back to his hiding place, tripping over his over-large pants and loose outfit.
He needed to run.
He needed to go away.
He needed to leave.
So he ran, not looking back for one second.
Lily was Potter's now, because the pureblood wouldn't have it another way.
He had lost what he didn't have it in the first place.
Lily was never going to be his, and he know it.