I knew my father had suffered under Voldemort's torture and was exhausted from the ordeal. He looked depleted and pale. It was clear his heart wasn't in it as he attempted to extract the whereabouts of the Diadem from me.

My heels clicked along the wet pavement as I shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat feeling the cold breeze whip my hair around my face.

When Regulus had asked to meet with me I had initially refused. He had asked me to not tell anyone we were meeting and also to meet him in a muggle cafe, which to my paranoid brain sounded like a trap.

But my curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I had eventually agreed to meet with him. That and I did have a bit of a soft spot for Sirius' younger brother, even though I did not agree with the choices he made.

Luckily Sirius was out with James so I didn't have to lie to him about where I was going, I just hoped that this wouldn't take too long so that I could be back before him.

I stopped in front of the cafe he had chosen taking in its appearance with disdain. The black paint around the windows was peeling and I could see the rotting wood underneath. The windows were so grubby I couldn't see through, but I suspected it wasn't any better inside. I could hear someone approaching behind me and my hand clutched my wand in my pocket automatically.

"You couldn't have picked a better spot?" I asked as I spun around to look at Regulus, to my great relief.

"How did you know -" he jumped as though I had pulled my wand on him and I raised my eyebrows and smiled at his reaction.

He nodded and muttered "Auror training,"

My smile slid off my face as I peered into his face. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and although I hadn't seen him in a while, he had lost weight.

He swallowed, his eyes darting from side to side as though making sure we were alone. "Let's get inside."

We made our way inside and sat in silence until the coffee we had ordered was served to us. I picked up my cup and took a sip of the lukewarm liquid that they called "coffee".

"Well, that was revolting," I said after a sip and I placed the mug down on the grimy table.

I looked at Regulus who hadn't moved or said a word.

"So," I said, "are you going to tell me why you dragged me out here?" I sat back in the booth and folded my arms across my chest "It's a big risk for me to be seen with you, y'know,"

He looked at me, his eyes full of sadness making me feel slightly guilty.

"Meg," he said quietly, looking completely defeated, his head bowed "I didn't know who else I could turn to, who I could trust. You've always been kind to me - even when -" he paused as though choosing his next words carefully "I can't do this anymore,"

I frowned, leaning closer to the table.

"Do what?"

He looked up at me and said nothing for a beat. He made a seemingly involuntary movement with his right hand as though he was going to grab his left forearm.

"The things he makes us do-" he shook his head when he couldn't go on.

I realised he was referring to the Death Eaters and opened my mouth to speak but he cut across me.

"You don't understand Meg, these people, the Death Eaters - I thought they would be different - think like me but -"

"They don't." I finished for him, suddenly slightly angry with him. "You think I don't understand who they are and what they can do?" I laughed darkly "I was brought up in a house where they regularly demonstrated what they could do,"

He heaved a huge sigh looking just as haughty as his brother and said "It's not the same,"

"Then why the fuck am I here?" I said angrily.

"I don't know what to do, Meg!" He said his voice cracking as his eyes went bright.

I sighed, sitting back in the booth again and looking around the empty cafe. I vaguely registered the onset of rain, the soft patter of raindrops against the grimy window barely audible.

"You don't just walk away from Voldemort, Reg." I said looking back at him in time to see him flinch at the name, "Surely you knew that," I added.

He looked at me again and nodded slowly. I looked back at him, his eyes so similar to Sirius' but somehow so different. He looked so scared and it made my heart ache slightly before reminding myself that he had made this choice on his own.

"I don't know how to help you," I said softly, still looking into his eyes.

"What would you do?" He asked, leaning towards me desperately.

I frowned as I studied him. I would never be in his position.

I closed my eyes briefly and sighed slightly. He made his bed and now it was time to lie in it.

"Reg," I said slowly "You got yourself into this mess,"

I looked at me as though I had slapped him in the face.

"I'm sorry, but it's time someone told you the hard truth of the matter," I looked down at my hands on top of the table, fingering the engagement ring I wore.

"I know it isn't entirely your fault, I suppose you were brainwashed your entire life but, you still chose to go down this road. And the only one who can change direction is you." I shrugged and smirked darkly "-that or kill the Dark Lord," I joked humorlessly.

Regulus looked like he was deep in thought as he slowly nodded.

He looked up at me and frowned, a look of determination creeping onto his face. "You're right Meg," he said quietly.

He jumped up out of the booth and stood in front of me.

"I knew you would know what to do!" He swooped down and kissed my cheek, taking me completely by surprise.

"Thank you," he said earnestly. And without looking at me again he strode towards the exit leaving me completely confused.

"You're welcome," I said to his empty seat, standing up and turning to leave the cafe, noticing that Regulus was standing in the doorway.

He looked at me frowning, "I suppose it goes without saying that no one must know about this -" he pointed between himself and me "-especially Sirius or my mother," he added, looking at me seriously.

I nodded, looking at him appraisingly. "Of course," I said, wondering if he thought I regularly saw Walburga. He nodded at me once and opened the door and left.

When I got home, I was happy to see that James and Sirius were still out and Lily was alone. I had to tell someone about this, and obviously, that person couldn't be Sirius.

"Hi," Lily said brightly as she looked up from writing something.

"Hi," I replied as I removed my coat and hung it up before walking over to the table and sitting opposite Lily.

"What's the matter?" She asked, peering into my face "Where have you been?"

"I was with Regulus," I said, watching her green eyes widen slightly.

"As in Regulus Black?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Meg!" She said incredulously "You can't be seen with a Death Eater!"

"I know, I know," I waved my hand impatiently, "but listen -" and I proceeded to tell her everything Regulus had said.

"-And then he told me that no one must know we met and he left." I finished.

Lily looked bemused and then grinned slightly "Wait until Sirius finds out you went on a date with his brother,"

I scowled at her "Lily, please it wasn't a date," I snapped though grinning at the thought of telling Sirius that. "He said I couldn't tell Sirius anyway,"

"I wonder why?" Said Lily thoughtfully.

I shrugged wondering the same thing.

"I guess he is thinking his mother would be disappointed?" I said. "I don't know about Sirius…" I trailed off as I thought more about it.

Regulus' quick departure had made me think he had had an idea. What that idea was I hadn't got a clue but was Regulus about to try and leave the Death Eaters? I knew from what I had heard from my father that the only way to leave the Dark Lord's service was death.

I looked up and saw that Lily was watching me closely. "What are you thinking?" She asked.

I bit my lower lip before saying slowly "I think that if he's not careful he's going to get himself killed,"

"Who is?" James' voice came from behind me and I spun around and saw James hanging up his coat, Sirius pulling off his own behind him. They both looked over at the table at us curiously.

"Just talking about you riding around on that bike," Lily giggled and rolled her eyes whilst James and Sirius scoffed.

I turned and caught her eye before she looked back down at whatever she was writing silently thanking her for her quick thinking.

"What did you two get up to today?" Sirius asked as he walked over and kissed the top of my head.

"Nothing much," Lily said as she continued writing, not looking up "Just stayed in - quite boring really," She added a shrug for effect and I smiled at her admiring her casual demeanour.

"Meg!" My father called my name sharply bringing me gasping for air out of the memory. They were getting so clear and vivid now, as though I was right back there reliving it. I could feel my mind weakening but I wasn't about to break. I frowned as I looked up at my father. He was standing a few metres back from me, his brow furrowed slightly. He was staring at me, a strange look on his face and his eyes were, for lack of a better word…sad.

"Your mind is weakening," he said, his chin rising as he said it.

I remained silent as I stared defiantly back at him as he raised his wand, "Legillimens!"

"A whole family of Goblins were found dead." Lily lowered the paper and looked solemn.

"Why would Death Eaters kill Goblins?" James asked frowning and leaning over to look at the paper.

"I suppose they refused to do what they wanted," Remus said as he picked up the mug Sirius had placed in front of him. "Or what Voldemort wanted." He added before taking a long sip of coffee.

I nodded, looking from Remus to the black liquid in the mug I was holding.

"Did it say who was involved?" Sirius asked, reaching across the table to James' plate and grabbing a piece of toast.

I don't need to be told who was involved. The look on my best friend's face said it all.

"Umm … " Lily trailed off as she pulled the paper up to hide her face, feigning an attempt to search. I knew her better though - she already knew, she just didn't want to tell me.

"Well?" Sirius said impatiently.

"Sirius," Remus said warningly, watching him over the top of his mug.

Sirius turned his head around to Remus, "What?" He asked, his mouth full of toast.

"For fucks sake Sirius," I snapped losing my temper, "Isn't it obvious?"

Sirius frowned at me and then glanced at James who looked just as oblivious.

"Was it my dad or both my parents?" I asked Lily reluctantly who was watching me apprehensively.

I noticed James blink slowly as he realised.

"Just your dad," Lily said quietly as if that would make it easier on me.

I nodded grimly and sighed, noticing that I was clenching my teeth. I picked up my mug again but the smell of the coffee now made me feel nauseous and I slammed it on the table rather more forcefully than I had meant.

"Meg," Sirius said placatingly.

I shook my head, unable to look at him. Any of them. I know they were all trying to find the right words to try and comfort me and I loved them all for it but, they had no idea how it felt to know my parents, my blood, were out there murdering and destroying other people's families.

"This is why we joined the Order, Megs," James said softly from across the table, reaching over and touching my hand.

"It's Goblins today -" I said looking up at him "-how long until it's someone we know? Or someone I love?"

Lily swallowed her eyes bright as she looked at me "Oh Meg," she whispered.

"Look, I don't mean to bring you all down -"

"You're not the only one at this table with dark wizards as parents," Sirius said.

"It's not a competition," I rolled my eyes as I turned to him "And besides my parents are Death Eaters - they're actively killing people," I added.

Sirius shrugged "My brother could be out there doing the same,"

I glanced at Lily who caught my eye briefly, however, this wasn't unnoticed by Sirius who narrowed his eyes.

"Did I miss something?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I just mean that I feel almost responsible, people must look at me and think I'm just the same as my family is," I said hurriedly.

"You don't think I have the same problem?" Sirius said heatedly.

"Since when have either of you given a shit what people think?" James said loudly as I opened my mouth to retort. "People know you are both completely different from your parents!" He frowned as he looked between Sirius and me.

"And your families are famous enough that it wasn't exactly a secret that their heirs weren't sorted into Slytherin," Remus added grinning.

"We're making a difference Meg," Lily said "James is right, this is why we all joined the Order."

I gazed at Lily and opened my mouth again but Remus cut me off.

"Enough of this," his tone uncharacteristically cool, "We have more important things to focus on."

"Like what?" I asked curtly, bristling at the coolness of his tone. Sure, guess my feelings don't matter I thought selfishly to myself

"Dumbledore gave me, well us, a new mission yesterday but obviously due to my lavish lifestyle, I haven't had a chance to brief you on it," Remus said, draining his coffee and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of parchment. He spread the parchment out flat on the table and we moved closer to him and started to read.

Dumbledore wanted us to infiltrate and stop a dark ritual he knew was to be performed at a known Death Eater's house. He had heard that Muggles were being kept on the premises until the ritual.

"Problem is," Remus went on, "None of us know anything about this ritual and I don't know anyone that would."

I bit my lower lip and looked around at Sirius who was giving me a very knowing look.

"I do," I said bitterly "and I know how to find out as well."

James, Lily and Remus all looked at me bemused.

"I'm sure that ritual would be in one of the dark arts books my father has in our library,"

"Your father has a library?" James looked at me with amusement.

I scowled at James and ignored him as I turned back to Remus.

"Is there any way to get it?" He asked.

I bit my lip again and thought about it. There probably was a chance but it would mean breaking into my parent's house and practically stealing from them. Plus, I could grab a few of my books while I was there, I thought.

"Possibly," I said slowly.

"Meg, surely there would be another way?" Lily said worriedly "Maybe Hogwarts has a book about it?"

"Unlikely," Sirius said, his grey eyes glancing at Lily.

"I don't like the idea of what would happen if someone was caught stealing from your parents," James said seriously.

"Well, good job you won't be going then," Sirius said, his eyes moving to James.

"Yes, I think I'd better do this alone," I said thoughtfully although the idea made me quite nervous, I wasn't about to let anyone else near my parents.

"You won't do this alone," Sirius said.

"Sirius…" I said but he held his hand up to stop me. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You're not going there alone." He had an air of finality in his words and I decided it was best not to argue.

I shook my head trying with everything I had to fight through my father's presence in my mind. The memory abruptly changed.

The moonlight cast a silver glow over the quiet street as Sirius and I stood outside my parent's mansion, our breath misting in the cool night air. The plan was simple: sneak in, retrieve the books, and leave without a trace.

My heart was pounding against my ribs and I glanced nervously at Sirius, who flashed me a grin that made my stomach flutter. With a nod, we moved swiftly towards the back entrance, careful not to make any sound.

I tapped my wand on the back door and, recognising my magic, it creaked open revealing a dimly lit kitchen. I tiptoed inside, my senses heightened with each step. Memories flooded my mind as I scanned the familiar surroundings. I hadn't been in this house for a few years now but it was seemingly unchanged.

"Miss!" Screeched a high-pitched voice making me jump and fall back into Sirius. I had forgotten about Meepy.

"Shhh!" I hissed at the house elf.

"Miss gave Meepy a fright!" She whispered.

"My father can't know I'm here," I whispered back hurriedly.

She bowed low in front of my feet and as she straightened up said "Meepy will not alert master to your return Miss."

Suddenly the kitchen door slammed, making us all jump and stare at it.

"It was probably just the wind," Sirius said leaning closer to my ear but I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

I bit my lower lip and looked down at Meepy.

"Are my parents in?" I asked her quietly.

Her eyes grew wide and she nodded. "Miss, master and mistress is hosting a meeting with the Dark Lord's most loyal servants!" She squeaked.

I rolled my eyes wondering if Voldemort himself was here.

"Miss," she whispered, looking terrified "You should leave before he finds you!"

"We'll go when we get what we came for." Sirius hissed impatiently, stepping around me and heading towards the door.

"Sirius!" I hissed as he opened the door and peered around it.

I crept up behind him as he slid around the door and started to ascend the stairs that led to the main entrance hall.

I knew from experience that my father hosted Death Eater meetings in the drawing room, and knew that if Voldemort was here, no one would be leaving any time soon.

As we approached the top of the stairs I could hear muffled talking from behind the closed drawing room door and glanced at Sirius. He was looking over at the drawing room watching the door through narrowed eyes. I tapped his arm and pointed at the main staircase and he nodded.

Moving towards the stairs like ghosts, we reached the library where I knew my father kept all the books the family-owned, as well as his prized collection of rare books. My heart skipped a beat as I laid eyes on the shelves, packed with memories of spending hours in this musty room.

Sirius closed the door carefully behind him and I began to head towards where I knew books containing dark rituals would be. I started to pull out some of the oldest-looking books knowing that the older they were, the darker they would be. Sirius stopped to check the shelves closer to the door, being careful not to disturb the carefully arranged stacks.

I placed a pile of the fragile books on a small table next to a lamp and waved my wand at them and they vanished as I sent them back to the flat. I smirked wondering how long it would take Dad to realise these were gone. I turned to the shelves once again, scanning the titles and pulling them out to start a new pile.

A sudden noise made me freeze in my tracks. Footsteps echoed in the hallway outside the library, growing closer with each passing second. Panic surged through me as I met Sirius' eyes, my breath catching in my throat.

We were running out of time.

Thinking quickly, I grabbed the remaining books, sent them to the flat, grabbed Sirius' hand and dashed towards the window. With a final glance at the library, I turned to the window and watched Sirius open it and leap out, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I followed him out into the darkness, landing hard on the dewy grass below.

Sirius raced off into the shadows and I began to follow him but something I couldn't explain made me turn to look back at the mansion and I froze. My father was standing watching us from the library window, his face expressionless, but his eyes blazing. I stood blinking at him for a couple of seconds before turning and running after Sirius.

Once we were outside of the boundaries of the mansion, we apperated back to the flat. Before Sirius opened the front door, I took his hand and pulled him around to face me.

He frowned at me, "What is it?" He asked, looking concerned.

I swallowed wondering if I had imagined my father's silhouette at the window.

"Meg?" Sirius squeezed my hand.

"My Dad saw us," I said, looking up at him.

"What?" He said his eyes widened.

"I don't know what made me turn around but I did and he was there at the window. He just stared at me. I don't know if he followed us." I said quickly, my breath catching in my throat as I looked down the hallway expecting my Dad to be there.

"Meg," Sirius said, grabbing my face with both his hands looking at me seriously. "It's ok - he can't do shit to us."

The panic that had been threatening to overwhelm me slowly started to leave as his grey eyes pierced mine.

"You're ok," he said softly.

I stretched up and kissed him, the only way at this moment I could express how much I loved him. Our kiss deepened and -

"No more!" My voice was distorted and I was unsure of whether it was in the memory or present life. My head started to throb with the strain of keeping my father out of the memories I had locked down. I was starting to panic at how much effort it was taking to keep the Diadem hidden, but the pain I felt over these memories was like losing Sirius and Lily all over again and I felt the back of my eyes burning with tears.

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a small girl with dark blonde hair clutching a blanket and crying. She looked terrified and was looking around wide-eyed.

"I don't know where I am," she cried helplessly as she crouched on the ground, covering her face with her blanket as though willing it to comfort her.

Her tiny voice and terror cut through my chest in a way I didn't think possible. Her fear was my fear. She was wiping her face with the blanket and I wiped my face impatiently as I felt tears run down my cheeks. Her tears were my tears.

"Meghana?!" A man's voice called from behind me, panic lacing his familiar voice.

I spun around, my father running towards me.

"Daddy?" I felt my mouth form the word but my voice didn't come from me.

My father didn't look at me - he walked straight through me! I spun around again as he crouched down and swept the child up in his arms.

"Meg!" he breathed "oh, thank God," he kissed her head and held her close.

I watched him walk off with her in his arms, safe and found again. I watched until the darkness swallowed them, my heart aching.

I turned around and saw my father standing there also watching the past versions of us fade into nothing.

"Why don't I remember this?" I said to him, my voice sounded unnecessarily harsh.

I blinked and I was back sitting in the hard stone chair, my arms bound to the chair arms, my father standing in front of me. He ran a hand through his hair, his expression uncharacteristically solemn. He started to pace up and down in front of me.

"Father-" I started.

"Enough," he muttered distractedly. He waved his wand lazily in my direction and the chains that bound me slipped off and clattered to the stone floor.

I stood up, my body feeling weak but my mind was wide awake and wanted answers.

"Why don't I remember -" I started to ask again and my father spun around mid-pace and looked at me as though he was seeing me for the first time.

"How did you do that?" He asked quietly and frowning "Your mind is failing - how could -"

I was confused, I didn't understand how I couldn't remember that memory…

I looked up at my father again who was still looking at me.

"That wasn't my memory," I said slowly. I saw my father swallow. "Maybe it's your mind that's failing," I added as I raised an eyebrow.

"I said that's enough. Leave!" he hissed pointing towards the door. Something hardened behind his eyes and the usual rigidness came back into his face.

I spent a beat studying his face, trying to decode what had just happened.

Deciding that my presence was testing his patience, I stepped around him and pulled open the door. I looked back as I closed the door and noticed that he hadn't moved but his head was bowed and his face was in his hands.