Magicians Suck

"Cas… I know that's you."

He got an earnest soft whimpering in reply, along with a lap full of fur.

"Of course I know it's you. Generally speaking, small rabbits don't have glowing blue eyes and hop out of tan trench coats laying on the floor. Not usually, no. Now, if you're up for it, let's go beat that dumb ass magician running away from us into turning you back, hmm?"

Cas nodded emphatically and allowed Dean to hoist him up to his hip in a one handed grip. The other calloused hand lifted up his trusty gun to continue the hunt. Cas had the briefest moment of unease at the fact that his legs were all dangling free below the solid grip of a hand that was ¾ths his length, wrapped around him underneath. He stilled his wriggling body soon after. He was in Dean's hands, so he knew he was safe. The jacket flapped around him and the body that towered over and partially around him thudded along in pursuit of the Magician.

Sam had been in another room two floors down and too far away to help in the chase, but that reason why he wasn't thundering up the stairs at his brother's urgent call now, would presented itself later to Dean and Cas.

Dean wasted no time on confronting the Magician, knowing full well that all they needed was a moment of muttered words to curse him as well. So Dean aimed and shot the capped man in the back of his knees to get him to stop running already. The fresh pain also kept the asshole from concentrating enough to do even more harm to them in fighting or flinging magic word bombs at them.

Dean eyed the place where the black capped assclown dropped behind a row of chairs in the small empty theater, and stooped low to drop Cas onto the floor behind a row of seats, far from the fight if it came to one. Making sure Cas would be ok on his own under the seats.

The Magician would have had a chance at escaping if he'd gone for the stage and the hidden drop hatch in the middle, but he went for the seats for cover, and that slowed him down considerably since a few fell open because the floor flexed under his pounding steps. Old theater, bad floors.

The Magician probably hadn't expected his magic to actually work without his wand. The other one's partner had grappled it out of his hands and broke it at the same instant that his trick was completed. Eliminating the threat without killing him. He had no idea he had magic in him all along and did not want to loose it at the hands of this murderous FBI agent who would no doubt drag him to area 51 or wherever the government kept people like him. Wild theories and fears swirled around his head as he grabbed at his bleeding leg, willing it to stop hurting long enough for him to get away. He'll have to make sure that those agents don't find him again before he can get away.

Dean glanced at Cas's huddled form and winced a little at how vulnerable the angel turned bunny looked like sitting there, shivering at the huge world around him. Dean saw Cas nod minutely up at him, ears bouncing against his hunched up body, and Dean nodded back in assurance that he will be back. Dean took a steadying breath before taking the last few steps towards the magician.

It didn't take long for the man to bind his leg with a few handkerchiefs pulled from his sleeve and to slip away unnoticed behind the seats when Dean was distracted with the small blueish gray rabbit. Dean cursed as he searched high and low for dick-Dumbledore, before giving up and returning to Cas's side. Admitting that he screwed up somehow as he lifted up the small furred bunny into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Protecting Cas from further harm if the man was still nearby.

A large brown pigeon flew into the theater haphazardly and landed a few seats away from Dean's slumped form. Cas placed his paws up on Dean's chest to gain some height and turned around to see what was happening. Cas's long ears pivoted around before they flatted against his head, brushing against Dean's face. Cas's head cocked slowly at the brown bird that was flailing about on the seats. Loosing feathers left and right before scrambling up to the back of the chair and cooed annoyingly at Dean, like it was all his fault.

"Heya, Sammy." Dean sighed tiredly and hung his head. "Fuck." His hand stroked Cas's soft fur as he finally looked up again and took in the sight of the brown pigeon flapping his wings out as if on display while it made a few indignant sounds at him. "I know, I know, we'll fix this. Just gotta get you two somewhere safe first."

Sam puffed up his feathers and shook himself out. Satisfied that Dean seemed appropriatly chastised for leaping into danger before Sam got to him as backup, but in all fairness, Dean couldn't waste a single second before chasing after the bad guy because the bad guy could literally perform real magic! There was no telling what he'd do if he had a chance to escape and regroup.

Dean glanced around the empty theater again before securing Castiel's squirming furry body to his stomach again, tucking him in close and holstering his weapons. Dean walked down the aisle to where Sam was perched and offered up his hand. Sam fidgeted in place before bravely stepping up onto the offered fingers and Dean resisted the urge to move too quickly. He wanted out of this place before something worse happened to them.

Sam was lifted carefully to Dean's shoulder where he hesitated in dismounting. Sam was not used to being this small, and he certainly wasn't used to riding around on his brother's shoulders. He hadn't done anything like that since they were kids. Dean waited patiently for Sam to get comfortable up there and was glad that those tiny claws of his didn't get through his jacket.

"Hold on tight guys, I got this." Dean said with a tone that was as confident as he could make it. he started walking towards the nearest exit, free hand hovering next to his side when it wasn't petting Cas's head. The rabbit was just so fucking fluffy he couldn't resist for too long. Cas seemed to like it in any case so Dean didn't see the need in stopping.

Sam swayed with Dean's gait, even though the hunter tried to keep his steps even and level. Dean felt the small weight on his shoulder scoot closer to his head and block out his periphery on that side. Sam's tiny hazel eyes darting at all the sudden sounds coming at them on the busy sidewalk. Dean nodded amicably at the other passersby that looked quizzically at his animals and explained briefly that they were trained professionals, and weren't going to give anyone rabies.

There were a few that stopped to ask if they could pet them, and Dean got the go ahead from his angel and brother in the form of a few taps on his skin. if they didn't tap, Dean kept on walking with a curt apology on his lips. They weren't his pets and it wasn't up to him. He rounded the corner and blinked at the place where he had parked his Impala. In it's place, was a toy sized model of his car.

"Oh this Merlin bitch is going down." Dean's growl came out and Sam shifted a few steps further away on his shoulder and Cas twisted a bit to look up at Dean's hardened expression. "Don't worry guys… I'm good. It's all good." he muttered and shook his shoulders out from the tension which startled Sam into flying off of his shoulder perch. Sam swooped around clumsily in the air and landed next to the car and glared up at his brother before fluffing his feathers and hopping up onto the toy car's roof. Hunkering down and sulking at being thrown off.

Dean stepped forward and lifted up the car with Sam still on top as he straightened back up again. Peering down at his small family that looked up at him in turn. Dean sighed heavily and starting the long walk back to the motel.

Back at the motel which was thankfully less than a couple miles away, he set the Impala and therefore Sam on the ground and went for his wallet. He had to set Cas down too because he must have put it in that other pocket Cas was blocking. Or maybe it was in his jacket pockets…

Sam looked over at Cas before hopping off of the car and walking awkwardly over to the rabbit that was twice his size. Both looking up at the growling coming from far above.

"Son of a Bitch stole my wallet too?!" Dean started pacing before sitting down on the steps in front of the motel. Having himself a good sulk as he tried to think about what to do now.

If it was a normal lock, he could have picked it within minutes, but it was a key card door and the card had been in his wallet. All he could think to do now was wait till nightfall and break in to retrieve their stuff from the room. He would have asked the Motel manager for a spare key but he's pretty sure that they had a no pets policy here, and asking Sam and Cas to go hide was putting them at too much risk. Besides the fact that if the manager insisted on opening the door for him himself, he'd see the stash of guns and research notes scattered everywhere and they just did not need that kind of attention.

Cas nuzzled at Dean's elbow until he moved it a little, allowing the small rabbit access to his lap. Cas snuggled in and licked at Dean's hand with such gentle tenderness that it made Dean jolt a little. Sam walked around the foot long car and using his wings and head, pushed it closer to Dean so the Impala wasn't in the middle of the walkway. Then Sam hopped up onto Dean's knee and grazed his right wing over Dean's slack hands. Cooing something comforting up at his giant brother.

They'll figure it out. They're still here, still together.

"Well, we may not have much, but we got wings of hope," Dean rubbed a rough knuckle up against Sam's fluffy feathers, earning himself a playful peck or two, "- and four rabbit's feet for luck." Dean gently pulled out Cas's fore paw to wiggle it around. Dean reached down for the toy sized Impala and held it up. "We aren't gonna let that Chris Angel wannabe douche-bag toy with us, now are we?"

Cas waggled his head, ears flopping around at the vigorous shaking head, and Sam squawk-cooed at him as he flexed his tiny clawed feet. Dean reached a thumb into the Impala's tiny door and honked the horn a couple times. It made an embarrassingly high pitched beep at him which had all three laughing their asses off. They got this.