Author's Note: Here is the next chapter.
The songs featured here are the original songs from the Hazbin Hotel show, "Happy Day in Hell" and "Hell is Forever". No need to substitute for them. They're pretty great songs.
Enjoy the chapter. Any and all comments are welcome.
The TV in the hotel lobby turned on showing several poorly-filmed footages with Alastor's voice narrating over them. The first scene showed a bunch of random demons killing each other on the street.
"Well, hello there, you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course, you do! That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?"
The scene then changed to the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie and her photos of her insecurities.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar. Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tried to work through her daddy issues by fixing you. Here, we offer fun things such as somewhat functional staff and 24 hour pest control, custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversaion with our less-than-a-handful of residents. WOW! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!"
Once the commercial was over, Alastor turned the TV off and turned to everyone who was in the parlor. "So what do you think?"
Everyone—Charlie, Vaggie, Beetlejuice, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Jacques, Ginger, Monster, and Tina—stared at Alastor with not-so-happy faces. Some looked speechless while others, including Vaggie's, just looked upset.
"I'm sorry." Vaggie said. "What the eff was that?!"
"Uh, yeah, one note," Charlie said politely, "Alastor, I mean… First off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um… maybe the tone is a bit… off? We want people to want to come here. This makes it look…"
"Like a piece of shit." Beetlejuice interrupted.
"Beetlejuice!" Charlie scolded.
"What? Am I wrong?" Beetlejuice asked. "Even a blind man can describe this commercial as pathetic."
"Funny. I was going for hilarious." Alastor said.
"It didn't explain about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole effing point!" Vaggie stated.
"Vaggie is right, Alastor." Charlie said. "The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them."
"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself." Alastor explained. "But you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement, so I had a little fun with it."
"I didn't think it was very fun." Jacques said. "I mean, you didn't even mention my rec center."
"Or my dancing shows." Ginger added.
"Just because I wanted to have fun with the commercial, it doesn't mean I wanted it to be fictional." Alastor said. "I mean, if I tell the sinners that a skeleton was going to build muscle or that a failed dancer was going to put on a five-star performance, no one would believe it." That comment made Jacques and Ginger frown.
"Hey! This is not what we want to represent us." Vaggie said. "When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time."
"Really. I would have thought this place had enough publicity after Beetlejuice caused a riot over at V Tower yesterday." Alastor said.
"That's not the kind of publicity we want!" Vaggie argued.
"You want something that's not FUN publicity?" Beetlejuice asked. "Hoo boy, we have our work cut out for us here."
"You know," Angel said, "If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?" He pointed at himself.
"Angel, you're a porn star." Vaggie said.
"A FAMOUS porn star." Angel pointed out. "I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in."
"We are not filming a porn as a commercial!" Vaggie said annoyed.
"Why not? Sex sells, don't it?" Angel asked before pointing at Alastor. "I swear, if you film me going at it with mister fancy talk creepy voice here, you'd be rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel."
"Haha! Never going to happen." Alastor said.
"Well, if not you," Angel said before turning his lustful gaze at Monster, "How about you, country boy? You're plenty big and strong, and I assume you have hair in ALL the places."
"Hell no!" Monster said keeping Angel at arm's length. "Sorry, horny, but I have a girlfriend!"
"You do?" Beetlejuice asked. "Holy shit! When did this happen?"
"Since after you freed me along with everyone else from your contracts." Monster said. "And no. There's no way I'm ever introducing you to her."
"Well, it's not like I can ask bone boy to eff me." Angel said. "He doesn't even have a dick."
"Hey! I'm really self-conscious about it." Jacques said with a frown.
"Can we get back to the matter at hand?" Vaggie asked.
"Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your… 'special' skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel," Charlie said, "But… I really don't want to exploit you in that way."
"Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited." Angel said. "I got the arms. I got the stamina. I got the legs. I got the lung capacity. Oh, I got the legs! The gag reflex. The holes. The chest fluff that everyone thinks are tits."
"And the incapacity to shut up." Tina said.
Charlie was about to speak some more when her phone rang. "Hold that thought. I'll be right back." She took her phone out of the room and answered it.
"Hey, I have a question." Angel said pointing to Alastor again along with Beetlejuice. "If freaky face and gross boy are so powerful, then why can't they just make people stay here?"
"Oh, trust me, I can." Alastor said making his smile much more sinister.
"Why do you think I'm here?" Husk asked. "You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you effs bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?"
"I like being forced." Niffty professed.
"Keep that to yourself, Niff." Husk said.
"What? You don't like being here with me, Whiskers?" Angel Dusk asked in a flirty tone.
"Call me Whiskers again, and I'll jam that bottle down your throat!" Husk threatened.
"Kinky." Angel replied. "Come on. Keep talking dirty."
"I ship it." Ginger said.
"Angel, let Husk do his job." Vaggie said. "And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to."
"Besides, it's not like there's much I can do." Beetlejuice said. "Don't forget, I tore up all my soul contracts freeing every sinner who was under my command."
"Yeah. You never told us why you freed us, though." Jacques said.
"That's for me to know and you to eff yourselves with." Beetlejuice said.
"I'm actually tempted to do that." Angel said before turning to Vaggie. "Look, sweet cheeks, I know you want to support your girl and all, but you gotta face facts. I mean, I'm choosing to be here and I think it's all stupid. We're in Hell. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?"
"Well, maybe it doesn't have to be." Vaggie said. "Just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible."
"Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent-free." Angel said. "Crack is expensive."
"VAGGIEHOLYSHIT!" Charlie cheered jumping back into the room.
"WHOA!" Beetlejuice yelled surprised by Charlie's energetic behavior. "I haven't seen a jump that big since the time I fed super-caffeinated crystal meth to Monster's pet."
"You did WHAT to Poopsie?" Monster growled.
"Forget that!" Charlie cried out. "My dad just called, he said that the leader of the angel army wants to meet. He asked if I could go instead."
"Wait, what?" Beetlejuice asked suddenly confused. "The angel army's leader wants to have a meeting? So soon after an Extermination? Why?"
"I dunno, but this is my chance." Charlie said. "If I can run my hotel idea to the angels and have the support of Heaven, we'll be one step closer to making our redemption plan work."
"You wanna run your hotel by the angel army's leader?" Beetlejuice asked before laughing. "Look, kid, I know the guy. I messed with him and his exorcists every year when they try to kill me. So let me just tell you, you ain't gonna convince him of anything."
"It wouldn't hurt to try." Charlie said before singing.
Charlie:
I can do this. Somehow, I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
"Charlie, hold on…" Vaggie tried to explain to her girlfriend.
Charlie:
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance
"It's just a meeting."
Charlie:
To change their minds and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have
"This could be bad"
Charlie:
Cheer up, Vaggie
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell
"Okay, but just don't sing to them." Vaggie said not knowing that Charlie had already left the hotel.
"That bitch is halfway down the street." Angel pointed out.
"Is she…" Vaggie asked.
"Oh, she's dancin'." Angel nodded.
"Ugh, no." Vaggie groaned.
"Don't worry. I'll help her." Beetlejuice volunteered before taking a few stretches.
"You?" Vaggie asked.
"Yeah. I don't think I have to tell you that the exorcist leader is a real handful, and that Charlie's going to need a bit of support."
Vaggie fell silent before sighing. "Fine. Just keep her safe."
"No prob." Beetlejuice said before transforming into a fly. He flew on over and caught up to Charlie before resting on the back of her shoulder without her knowing.
Charlie:
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a happy day in Hell
Sinner:
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul
Imp:
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole
Executioner:
Doing what is required, we all have our role
Sinner:
I'm not doing well
Demons:
Another shitty day in Hell
Charlie:
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change
Vaggie:
Those angels' minds are hard to change
Charlie:
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
FROM THE EVIL TO THE STRAAAAAAAAAANGE
Vaggie:
THEY'RE BLOODTHIRSTY AND DERANGED
Charlie:
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell
From the porn studio
Where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town
Where they don't wear a frown
'Cause… HOLY SHIT! OH, MY GOSH! WHY
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide
I CAN DO THIS! I JUST KNOW IT
I'LL GET HEAVEN BEHIND MY PLANS
THERE'S JUST NO WAY I COULD BLOW IT
NOT THIS ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME CHANCE
TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS
Slug demon:
AND TOUCH MY PARTS
"Uh, no, thank you." Charlie refused nervously. "I'm just gonna…"
Charlie:
FULFULL MY DESTINYYYYYYYYYY
"Your loss, bitch." the slug demon said before slinking away.
Charlie:
I CAN ALREADY TELL
TODAY IS GONNA BE AN EFFIN' HAPPY DAY IN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL
When Charlie got to the Heaven Embassy, she entered a hollow Church gathering room with no one else inside. When she reached the front desk, she rang the bell, and a golden paper appeared to her. She signed her name on it to acknowledge her presence there, and a door next to her opened up. She entered finding herself in a darkened room.
"Uh, hello?" Charlie called out. "Is anyone here?"
"Sup!" a man answered from the darkness.
At that instance, the room lit up. The room was mostly blue and fancy with a large table at the center. At the far side of the table were two exorcist angels, Adam and Lute. Adam, the leader of the exorcists, was enjoying a plate of ribs.
"Holy shit!" Charlie gasped surprised before recomposing herself. "Hi, I'm Charlie. My dad asked if I could meet you."
"Yeah, I know." Adam said.
"Okay, well, it's nice to meet you." Charlie greeted.
"Totally. Nice to meet you too." Adam said reaching out for a handshake. Charlie was about to grab on until another voice stopped her.
"Don't fall for it, kid! It's a bit!"
"What the…" Charlie asked looking around. Adam and Lute did too.
"Who's there?" Adam asked. "Who tried to mess up my gag?"
Beetlejuice flew off of Charlie's shoulder and morphed back to his usual form. He presented himself dramatically.
"IT'S SHOWTIME!"
"You?!" Lute yelled out.
"Beetlejuice?" Charlie asked. "What the Hell are you doing here? This is a meeting between me and the angel army leader here!"
"I'm here to make sure you don't make a fool of yourself with his dumb jokes." Beetlejuice said pulling a rotten tomato from his jacket. "Watch and see for yourself."
"Beetlejuice, wait…"
Too late. Beetlejuice tossed his tomato right at Adam's direction. It went right through his body and splattered on the wall behind him. Adam scowled at him for that.
"Wait, what?" Charlie asked.
"This guy doesn't respect you enough to actually come to Hell for you." Beetlejuice said. "The only time he ever wants to come down here is during Extermination Day."
"You shouldn't be here, sinner!" Lute said.
"Hey, Lute." Beetlejuice said. "Hey, how are Matilda and her squad? Still picking off the chicken feathers, I take it?"
"Chicken feathers?" Charlie asked before groaning. "Oh, no. I'm so sorry about…"
"Don't apologize to them. They're bitches." Beetlejuice said before turning to Adam and Lute. "And as for why I'm here, I figured the princess will need a second. After all, Adam, you've got your intolerant psycho to back you up. Why can't Charlie have someone with her for this meeting? Or do you get special treatment because you're not like us?"
"Obviously, we're not like you, you filthy, slimy…" Lute growled.
"Lute, can it!" Adam scolded. "I admit, I am pretty pissed that he ruined my joke, but there's not really much he can do about the outcome of this meeting." He then whispered to her. "Plus, I really want to see the look on his face when I tell him the big news. It's gonna blow his effing mind."
"…Fine, sir." Lute whispered back before standing back behind him.
"Wait, did Beetlejuice just call you Adam?" Charlie asked. "Like, the first man, Adam? That means you… Ooooooh. That explains so much."
"I know. I'm the original dick. I effing rock." Adam said.
Vaggie wanted to make a proper commercial before Charlie got home, so she set everyone up with a script. She started with Angel and Husk, but the former kept making his lines sound horny and the latter kept reading the script directly in front of his face, so his acting was poor.
Vaggie then headed to Niffty for her part in the commercial. But every time she turned the TV on for her, Niffty just looked at the camera with a very creepy stare. So far, it wasn't going very good.
Vaggie then headed to the rec center where several exercise equipment was ready for use. She turned to Jacques who stood behind an unbelievably large dumbbell.
"You ready for your part, Jacques?" Vaggie asked.
"Oui, mademoiselle." Jacques said. "I'll be sure to demonstrate everything this hotel can do for its guests."
"Great… but are you sure you're ready?" Vaggie asked. "I mean, that dumbbell looks pretty big, and you don't exactly have the…"
"What? Ze muscle capacity?" Jacques asked. "It's nothing I haven't heard before. Just roll ze camera."
"If you say so." Vaggie said readying her camera. "And… action!"
Jacques smiled at the camera. "For a fun and fit time, come by our exercise center for…" He gripped both his hands on the dumbbell and began to lift it… or at least, try to lift it. Truthfully, he was unable to lift it even by an inch making Vaggie uncomfortable by watching.
"You know, if you need a moment…" Vaggie started to say.
"No, no! I can do it!" Jacques strained his voice trying in vain to lift it.
Vaggie sighed. "The camera's going to run out of battery before he manages to move it." She then turned to Monster, who was passing by. "Hey, why don't you help? You seem strong enough."
"Well, mainly it's because, I don't want to." Monster said before walking away.
"Effing asshole." Vaggie muttered to herself.
Charlie and Beetlejuice sat in their chairs looking bored while Adam droned on and on with his long-winded story while finishing his ribs.
"So, I was playing this gig, and for some effin' reason, this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer, and it's like, "do you know who I am? I'm effing Adam. I'm the original dick. All dicks descend from me. You think you want drummer dick? No way! I'm the dick effing master!' So, anyway, then we effed, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?"
"Well, that's a… graphic story, I'd say." Charlie said. "So Adam, sir… Mr. Adam, sir…"
"Call me Dickmaster." Adam said confidently.
"No one in their right mind would call you that." Beetlejuice said.
"Okay then, everyone." Charlie said trying to defuse the tension. "So, Adam, you seem like a smart… Well, stand up guy."
"Uh, huh." Adam said picking his teeth for ribs.
"And I know you are the leader of the angels, and you are a big thinker, a revolutionary, a genius…"
"I mean, your words, babe." Adam said.
"I think I'm gonna throw up." Beetlejuice said quietly.
"…Who would really love to put his name on something."
"Effing love putting my name on shit!" Adam said excitedly. "Shit's the best!"
"He wants to put his name on… shit?" Beetlejuice asked with a chuckle.
"It's a solution to our biggest problem!" Charlie continued.
"Oh, herpes." Adam said. "Yeah, that's a bitch."
"No! Our other biggest problem." Charlie said.
"Oh, uh… Ugly people?" Adam guessed. "Math? Global warming? No, wait. That's Earth's problem? Umm…"
Beetlejuice rolled his eyes at that.
"And… ACTION!" Vaggie said pointing her camera at an auditorium stage. Tina stood in front of a closed curtain with a fake smile on her face.
"And for five-star entertainment, we present Ginger the Tap-Dancing Spider!"
The curtains parted ways and Vaggie moved in closer to get her camera closer to the smiling arachnid.
"Behold, my salute to redemption!" Ginger said before beginning her dance. She tapped her feet around, but nearly tripped a few times losing a bit of Vaggie's confidence. A minute later, she stopped and presented herself finishing her performance. "How was that?"
"It was… something," Vaggie said, "But the good news is, that was probably the best thing I recorded today. So good work, Ginger."
"What, no love for Tina?" Tina asked. "I mean, I did open the curtain for Ginger."
"Sure. You did good too, Tina." Vaggie said keeping her eyes on the footage in her camera as she walked off.
Tina sighed. "It's my agent all over again."
Once again, Charlie and Beetlejuice were losing their patience with Adam's ramblings trying to guess the problem that Charlie was talking about.
"…And when you take her out for the fifth time and she STILL expects you to pay the check, but you're like, 'hey, I thought you wanted equality'."
"Want me to throw a chair at him now?" Beetlejuice asked Charlie. "I know it won't hurt him, but it'll sure as ass make me feel better."
"NO!" Charlie yelled frustrated. "Adam, I'm talking about our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!"
"Ooooooh… Well, that's not a problem. We got that covered." Adam said before turning to his lieutenant. "Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?"
"Got a good 275 this year, sir." Lute answered.
"275? WHOA! Badass!" Adam congratulated. "Awesome job, danger tits! Pound it." He set up his fist for Lute to tap at with hers.
"And yet, you can't seem to catch me." Beetlejuice bragged making the exorcists mad again. "I'm just saying that even with you two on the hunt for me, none of your weapons ever landed a blow on someone as slippery as me."
"HEY!" Adam shouted. "We would gut you SO easily if we were allowed to bring our most powerful weapon, the Lance of…"
"Adam!" Lute interrupted calming her boss down.
"Right. Thank you, Lute." Adam said taking a breath. "The point is, we don't need another solution for overpopulation. The extermination process works like a charm. If it ain't broke…"
"But those are my people you kill every year." Charlie said. "You know that, right?"
"Oh, yeah… That must suck for you!" Adam laughed.
"But these are souls." Charlie said. "Human souls, just he same as the ones you have up in Heaven."
"They are not the same." Lute said. "They had their chance and they earned damnation."
"You're wrong." Charlie defied. "Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes."
"Angels don't make mistakes." Lute returned.
"You really think that?"
"I know that."
"Yeah. I've never made a mistake in my effin' life." Adam said.
Beetlejuice chuckled. "Um, anyone remember Cain and Able? Pretty sure they have something to say about that."
Adam stared at Beetlejuice blankly. "Dude. Don't bring my kids into this."
"Fine. Let's talk about you, then." Beetlejuice said. "As I recall, Eve wasn't the only one who ate the forbidden fruit."
"Hey, that bitch coaxed me into it!" Adam shouted. "I got pardoned after I died, as you can see."
"Oh, so it's okay to forgive you, but not the majority of Hell." Beetlejuice said. "Yeah, the system is flawless, Mr. Original Dickhead."
"It's 'original dick'." Adam growled.
Beetlejuice chuckled. "Yeah, like that's any better."
"Beetlejuice, please, behave." Charlie said. "We're trying to promote redemption for sinners."
"Redemption? That's a laugh." Lute said circling around Beetlejuice and Charlie. "The only reason you're still here is because Daddy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel, to know how little you matter?"
"See, Charlie? These two are the worst people to ask for backing." Beetlejuice said. "They're just a couple of intolerant assholes who kill because it makes them hard."
"For your information, demon filth," Lute hissed, "We kill because it is our duty. Because it's the final punishment for scum like you. You're nothing but a shitty, horrid, low-life, sinful pack of garbage who deserves to choke on his own blood and left in a gutter."
Beetlejuice stared blankly at Lute. "Well, duh. I'm a demon. What's your excuse?"
Lute growled louder than ever before reaching for her angelic sword, but Adam stopped her and pulled her away.
"Oops. Almost out of time." he said. "Guess we should get into it…"
"Oh, eff!" Charlie gasped. She moved in closer to Adam and presented her drawings to him as she sang what they were all about. "Okay, I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time. And I feel like you weren't hearing me before, so here it goes…"
Charlie:
I know Hell's population is out of control
It's a bad situation. It's taking a toll
If we rehab these Sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel
"Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination!"
Charlie:
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears
You can wave that chore farewell
It'll be a happy day in…
Suddenly, Adam interrupted with his own song.
Adam:
Let me stop you right there
Save us all precious time
If what you're suggesting
Is letting them climb
Up the ladder
Oh, they'd rather
Cross the Pearly Gates
Sorry, sweetie
But there's no defying their fates
'Cause Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
Now they boil in the pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in trying to fight it
They're burning for their lives
Until we kill 'em again
Just try to chillax, babe
You're wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply
That they don't deserve death
Are they Winners
Are they Sinners
'Cause it's cut and dry
Fair is fair! An eye for an eye
And when all's said and done
There's the question of fun
And for those of us with Divine Ordainment
Extermination is ENTERTAINMENT
Adam then conjured a guitar which he then played while summoning more exorcists made of light which surrounded Charlie and Beetlejuice. He kept strumming until he continued singing.
Adam:
Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
Now they boil in the pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in trying to fight it
They're burning for their lives
Until we kill 'em again
EFFIN' HELL IS FOREVER
AND IT'S MEANT TO SUCK A LOT
SO GIVE UP YOUR DUMB ENDEAVOR
'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A SHOT
LONG AS I'VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION
I GUESS I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION
THAT WE MADE A DETERMINATION
TO MOVE UP THE NEXT EXTERMINATION
CAN'T WAIT A WHOLE YEAR TO SLAUGHTER THOSE LITTLE PUNKS
I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WEEK, BUT WE'LL BE BACK IN SIX MONTHS
Both Charlie and Beetlejuice were speechless when they heard the news Adam shared with them. They were so surprised, that they weren't able to save themselves from being pushed out of the room. Charlie tried to run back into the room, but the door closed in front of her.
"WAIT!" Charlie shouted before growing frustrated again. "SHIT!"
"HOLD ON NOW!" Beetlejuice yelled pounding on the door. "THIS AIN'T FAIR! WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE NEXT EXTERMINATION IN HALF A YEAR?! ANSWER, YOU PIECES OF…"
Charlie stopped him by grabbing his arm and sighing. "It's no use, Beetlejuice. They're probably gone by now."
Beetlejuice groaned annoyed. "Dammit! I thought I would make it easier to sell the hotel, but it looks like I'm better at escaping from angels than I am at talking to them."
"It's not your fault, Beetlejuice." Charlie said. "You said so yourself, they're a couple of intolerant assholes. Let's just get back to the hotel."
When Charlie returned to the hotel with Beetlejuice, she was greeted by Vaggie who hugged her passionately.
"Charlie! How did it go? Did they listen?"
"Oh, uh… They sure did… hear it, but um…" Charlie said nervously trying to find the words.
"Oh, boy, you're gonna love this." Beetlejuice said crossing his arms.
"Maybe later. We have something exciting to show you first." Vaggie said pulling Charlie to the parlor where everyone else gathered. Beetlejuice followed.
"Is there a party going on?" Beetlejuice asked. "Where's the cake, or is this a different kind of party?"
"I wish." Angel Dust said.
"Alastor pulled some strings, and it's about to air." Vaggie said.
"I pulled a few limbs too." Alastor laughed.
"Wait, the commercial?" Charlie asked breathlessly. "You all made a new one?"
"Eff, yeah." Vaggie answered. "I admit, it was a bit hard to do, but Alastor was willing to help."
"On the grounds that I'm never involved in any television work again." Alastor added in. "This was a one-time thing."
"Not to brag, but this is one of my better performances." Angel said.
Charlie's eyes grew bigger with sheer delight. "That's… That's amazing."
Beetlejuice smiled softly as he sat in his chair. "Well, this is gonna be fun."
"It's starting, people!" Jacques called out as the commercial began.
The commercial started off at the front of the hotel where Vaggie, Angel, Husk, Tina, and Alastor (who couldn't help but look blurry in the video) stood wearing their fanciest and most beautiful outfits.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hot…"
Suddenly, the commercial was ended after a second and replaced with a screen that read "BREAKING NEWS". Everyone ranted angrily seeing all their hard work interrupted like that. Alastor, on the other hand, loved seeing their reactions.
The top reporters of Channel 666 News, Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench, appeared on TV making their drastic announcement.
"Breaking news in Hell today!" Katie announced. "We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next Extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tom?"
"No! What does that mean, Katie?" Tom Trench asked.
"It means we're all royally effed!" Katie replied.
The screen changed to the clocktower which showed the countdown to the next Extermination. It dropped down from 358 days to only 176 until the next Extermination. Crowds around it panicked in a riot while the hotel residents watched baffled.
"What?" Angel asked in shock. "Why?"
Monster turned to Beetlejuice and roughly grabbed him by his shirt to pull him in. "Beetlejuice, what did you do to them?"
"It wasn't me! Honest!" Beetlejuice shouted. "I think they already decided to cut our wait time in half before the meeting even began!"
"That's crazy!" Vaggie said. "What could possibly have happened to make them move up the deadline?"
Up in his office in Heaven, Adam sat in a dark room with a projector showing an image on his wall. The image showed an exorcist angel laying on the ground of Hell and without her head. Golden blood spilled out of her neck.
Lute stepped out to present the image. "We found the body, sir. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them."
"No, no. We can't risk them catching on." Adam said. "But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again!"
"What about Beetlejuice, sir?" Lute asked. "First, we find out one of our own has been slain by the demons. And now, the most elusive sinner is supporting some stupid redemption plan by the princess? There's no way he's that stupid! He's clearly up to something!"
"Agreed." Adam said. "Which is why exterminating him must be one of our top priorities!"
"How do we do that?" Lute asked. "There's only one weapon in our arsenal that's guaranteed to kill him, no matter what tricks he tries to pull. But the seraphim won't let us use it."
"We'll find a way to get it." Adam said. "And when we do, we're going to do what everyone said was impossible just to show all of Hell that we mean business…" He smiled sadistically. "Kill Beetlejuice!"