What to do about Magik?
Author's note: Another small humor chapter.
Chapter 83a: In-An-Out, that's with mutants are all about (meaning burgers)
"Thanks Yana." Mumbled Kitty as she noshed upon her double-double burger, with both raw and grilled onions.
"No prob." Was Illyana's equally mumbled reply as she likewise noshed upon her Double-Double, just grilled onions.
Kitty had been having a massive Double-Double craving and Chicago lacked any In-An-Out restaurants. A problem easily solved when you're besties with a teleporter.
After a minute or so of pure burger bliss, Kitty asked. "Who's on your new team?"
Illyana paused in her burger devouring quest, slurped some Coke, and started on her fries. She named a person as she picked a fry, dunked it in ketchup, and consumed it.
"We're in this ex Orchis base up in Alaska. First there's Scott, team lead and such. He selected the members and the location. He started with Hank (Beast) who is the memory regressed clone of bad Hank and hopefully will use the examples of his prior incarnation to understand that asking for input before making stupid decisions is a good idea."
A nod from Kitty about Hank actually seeking input before doing stupid things, and sudden interest in her own bin of fries as she set the burger aside and commenced nibbling (extra crispy by the way).
"Then I suppose there was eye candy deficiency so Psylocke was recruited, but she's mostly covered up now so perhaps less successful on that front."
Another nod from Kitty. Telepathy, ninja skills, and before Psylocke had worn that tight bit of purple nothing that just so demonstrated her hooters and ass; a demonstration that many women found most annoying (Kitty being one as she thought of both Betty and Psylocke as class A scanks) so a plus on the covering up.
"Then Mags showed up in a flying chair as I guess he's trying to give off a Xavier vib." Continued Illyana. "Back to being broody so… nothing new there. He's mostly helping on the rebuilding the base as it was really trashed by the Avengers. Also Juggernaut is there. Fun guy in that we both like the same video games and our shared proclivity to break things. Which I guess makes us the heavy's of the team."
Which generated a look from Kitty at Illyana and a slight shake of her head. Illyana just so liked a fight. And she was really focusing on using her sword rather then her magics, which Kitty figured was mostly a fake out to make folks underestimate her. And Kitty did note that Illyana was back to dressing in her tight and skimpy black leather getup so at least one female member of the team was showing skin; almost like it was some kind of cosmic rule.
"And then there's Oya, but now goes by the name Temper." Illyana gave a sigh… "Iceman stand in I guess. Who now has a hair style looks like she stole it from the original bride of Frankenstein."
A comment that resulted in Kitty choking a bit as she'd been taking a sip of her Coke. Illyana was not known for mean girl talk and Kitty was a former teacher as well as a former Dean so she was about to rebuke Illyana; but Illyana first showed her a photo of Temper on her phone.
Leaving Kitty with and incredulous expression as Illyana explained. "I'm not sure if she's ever seen the film or if this is some kind of protest hairdo involving monsters. Either way I'm calling it a black girl hair thing and staying far far away."
Leaving Kitty with the sudden thought… "Um… Didn't we put her in the pit?"
"Yeah you did. She's rather upset at that. Kido's rather violent so at least she has that going for her." Concluded Illyana. Incidentally, Illyana is not known to have much respect for pacifists.
Illyana had another bite of her burger, and soke as she chewed. "We have a bunch of random mutants at the facility as well and oh.. almost forget, we have Kid Omega as well."
"Why?"
A musing look from Illyana. "Hmmm, telepathy, telekinetic, and I guess the team needs an asshole so three out of three. I like to play scare the ninja with him sometimes, he screams like a little girl when I startle him."
"Okay…" Was Kitty's slow reply, damn she hated that game that Illyana like to play; but never played on her so leave it alone. "Wait… wasn't Oya and Kid Omega an item at one point?"
A grin from Illyana. "Apparently, man you should hear them argue. Very entertaining."
"Sounds like you're not in the leadership chain?"
"Nope, breaker and shaker. Muscle for now."
Okay… Kitty thought upon this as she finished off her burger, then inquired. "Anything happing with you?"
"The whole vampire thing a few weeks back was really fun."
Right… Kitty was yet again reminded that Illyana's definition of a fun time was something that really needed work, a whole bunch of work.
"Anything else?"
"Apocalypse wanted me to take his place. I said no."
"That must have been interesting."
Another grin from Illyana as she told her version of the story that is no way resembles the comic.
BEGIN INTERLUDE (I choose you Pikachu!)
"So… big bad retired blue dude (that's Apocalypse) is having a contest of various folks to see who will replace him. Now for centuries, Apocalypse tested the mutants of Earth to guarantee that only the strong would survive because… why not. Makes sense if you have a certain deficient thought train. But now he's off on his throne on Arakko so he's concluded that another must rise in his place and ensure the mutants of Earth do not grow weak in his absence because… again that deficient thought train."
We see a big screen TV showing the video game Final Fantasy XV, there are two players in beanbags armed with controllers. One is the Juggernaut, the other is Illyana. Scattered about them are the prerequisites of an epic gamer marathon (pizza boxes, coke cans, cookies, chips, and other food debris).
Into this strides Apocalypse as he announces. "Illyana! I choose you to…"
But is interrupted by Illyana, who does not even bother to look at him as she states. "No. Do I look like a pokemon? Go away."
Now Apocalypse is not used to being both interrupted and ignored as he gave her a glare as he continued. "You shall battle with others to claim the…"
Illyana was not having any of this. "No, no, no, no, no, and the horse you rode in on, no. And if you try to block the TV I will stab your big blue ass."
Which did illicit a few chuckles from Juggernaut as Illyana continued.
"Go ask Rictor, I mean… you spent time training him and now he thinks he somehow knows you better than anybody else, always going on about it."
Which was a good point. All that supposed training and Rictor's big moment in the Fall of X was… a big nothing. And incidentally, Ricktor does NOT know Apocalypse better then anybody else; the fact that he thinks that is quite the falling on his part.
That's when Quentin came a running and a begging. "Please! Please pick me!"
"No." Was Apocalypse's disdainful sneer of a reply. "I have no need for… infantile pranksters."
End INTERLUDE (I choose you Pikachu!)
And now Kitty had the giggles at the thought of Apocalypse's expression on being told his ass was fat as Illyana proceeded to relay a few choice insults Apocalypse had bespoken at Quentin. Insults involving personal hygiene and solo sexual pursuits.
Leaving Kitty laughing so hard Coke came out her nose.