Surprise! Morning update! It's a bit heavy, but the heavy is only for this chapter. Trigger warning.

I pursed my lips as I read over the interview notes. We had a meeting with A. Vash this morning to discuss his manuscript, and I had a bad feeling that I was going to be conducting it instead of Dimitri. It was close to eleven and Dimitri hadn't come in yet. He didn't come home until late last night, more like early morning.

I sighed as I looked at the clock again. I stood up and walked to Arthur's office and knocked on the door.

"Hey," he said as he looked up from his phone.

"Hey, um, Dimitri isn't in yet, and A. Vash is going to be here any minute. Do you want me to stall?"

Arthur leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You haven't heard from your husband?"

I shook my head. "He's home. He came home late, but I haven't heard from him yet. I did call a few times."

Arthur nodded and rubbed his jaw.

"I'll sit in on the meeting, but you'll take point," he said as he sat up straight.

I choked. "What?"

"You've prepared the interview material, you're young. You're an editor, and you're the CEO's right hand. Run point, I'll sit in solely as a bumper," he said. I nodded and walked back to my office in a stunned-like state.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sydney asked as I passed her.

I looked at her dumbly and blinked. "Arthur is having me interview the potential author," I said in disbelief. I truly was stunned. I didn't know if I should have been excited or not. It was a step forward for me, but I was nervous. It was the first interview since gaining my new title, and I didn't want anyone to think that I was getting this opportunity because I was Dimitri's wife.

"Rose, that's awesome!" Sydney exclaimed. I nodded and suddenly turned on my heel and headed for the bathroom. I pushed the door open and accidentally startled Reid. She jumped and her hand fluttered to her chest before she chuckled quietly.

"God, I'm so jumpy," she laughed and I whispered my apology as I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't anticipating seeing anyone other than my coworkers. I hastily ran my fingers through my curls, trying to organize them and pinched my cheeks to bring some colour to them.

"I have my bag if you need something," Reid offered, holding up a makeup bag. I smiled and took it from her, looking through what she had. I grabbed an eyebrow pencil, blush and applied some. I looked at the mascara and peeked at her.

"Do you mind sharing, or do you have sensitive eyes?"

"Go for it, it's brand new," she said as she fixed her hair. I smiled and dabbed a little mascara on my lashes before packing everything up and handing her case to her.

"I guess I should keep an emergency kit for seeing unexpected clients," I joked, "Thank you!"

"Knock them dead!" Reid called after me as I left the bathroom. As I skirted around the bullpen, the receptionist had just stood up, a tall bronze-haired man following her. I gestured to her to go into the board room and she redirected him there. I slipped into my office and grabbed my cell phone. Still nothing from Dimitri. I grabbed my things for the interview and knocked on Arthur's door to let him know that it was time.

I cleared my throat as we walked to the board room, shaking my head slightly as we got to the door.

"Take a deep breath," Arthur reassured and I nodded. I knocked on the door before stepping into the boardroom, smiling softly at the man sitting at the table.

"Hello, Mr. Vash. I'm Rose Belikov, and this is Arthur Schoenberg. I apologize, but Mr. Belikov is feeling a little under the weather this morning," I explained as I approached and shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you. Please, call my Adrian," he said as he shook both of our hands. We sat down and started the interview. He was almost a sure thing, but the interview was a formality. I could not help but press my lips together as we went through the questions. I wasn't sure if it was Adrian's cologne or something that was on his clothes, but the smell in the room was hard to ignore. It was spicy but almost too much. The smell of almost everything made me want to gag lately.

I was grateful that the interview was moving along as quickly as it was because I was desperately trying to keep the contents of my stomach inside.

"Is A. Vash a pen name? Or is your last name Vash?"

"It's a pen name. My full name is Adrian Ivashkov," Adrian explained and I nodded, writing it down on the front page.

"We will have to relay the meeting with Mr. Belikov when he is back, but we both feel very strongly about your work," Arthur said with a smile as he concluded the interview. It was almost like he could tell I needed out of the room. Maybe it was because I had shifted so many times in my chair, or how many times I turned my head away to breathe in.

"Are you alright, Rose?" Adrian asked.

I cleared my throat. "I'm afraid I may be coming down with whatever Mr. Belikov has," I said with a strained voice.

"I'm going to take a wild guess that he is your husband."

I nodded and made a noise of confirmation.

"Then I don't want to keep you, or catch whatever you may have," he said with a laugh, "Shall we follow up later in the week?"

"I think that sounds perfect. We'll probably be in touch before the end of this week," Arthur said, speeding the conclusion along. I would have shaken Adrian's hand but I barely got a polite goodbye out of my mouth before bowing out of the room and beelining for the bathroom.

I pushed in and went into the first stall, holding my hair back as I hurled into the toilet.

"Rose? Are you alright?" Arthur asked through the door. I pulled some toilet paper off the roll and groaned and wiped my mouth. I tossed it into the garbage and opened the door enough to see his face.

"I'm fine. I don't have the flu," I said. he raised a brow before nodding his head.

"I have a new toothbrush and toothpaste in my desk. I just went to the dentist the other day, and they always give me a new one," he said.

"Thanks," I said and shut the door, going to the sink. I turned the tap on and cupped the water in my hands, bringing it up to my face. I cupped more water and rinsed my mouth and spat the water into the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror, really looking at myself. My eyes were a little sunken in, but my face looked fuller and shiny. I had puked a few times, and the positive at-home test in the garbage at the gas station was enough.

I needed to tell Dimitri. It was time.

DPOV

When I came home, the feeling in the house was different. I had been out late with Ivan, again, and when I got home, Rose was already in bed. I had promised her that I would be home earlier than I was last night, but time got away from me. I forgot that Ivan was a bad influence when it came to liquor, and how easy he could get someone to drink past their limit.

At least tonight I was home before eleven.

I went silently into the bathroom to shower before bed. I looked as tired as I felt. I unbuttoned my sleeves and pushed one up as I reached into the shower to start it. I turned back towards the mirror and shook my head slightly. I needed a haircut too. It was just starting to come below my collarbone and I kept it tied up most of the time.

I unfastened my watch and set it on the counter, swearing under my breath when it slid off the counter and into the trash can. I sighed as I leaned down, fishing it out of the can when I spotted the bright purple wrapper in the trash can. I frowned to myself as I straightened up.

I set my watch back on the counter and undressed to get into the shower. I made it quick and got dressed, sliding into bed beside Rose. When I got in beside her, I realized that she was still awake. I kissed her cheek and wrapped my arm around her waist as I laid on my side.

"Did you have a good night?" Rose asked quietly. I could hear it in her voice, the thick, crackling sound.

"It was okay," I whispered as I rested my head against hers. I prayed that she knew that I knew, that I knew that she was upset and that I was here for her. She may not have told me, but I knew.

Rose laced her fingers through mine and sighed quietly, an almost inaudible sniffle in the air. I kissed her head again and held her tight.

I woke before Rose did the next morning. I went out to the kitchen and made us both breakfast, drinking my coffee as the french toast cooked.

When Rose emerged from the bedroom, she hadn't gotten dressed yet. She hadn't done her hair or put on makeup. She looked exhausted too, and I could see the puffiness under her eyes. She blinked at me tiredly and bit her lip before sighing, her shoulders sagging. I put the last few pieces on the plate and turned the stove off. She crossed her arms over her stomach as she looked at me.

I came around the island and she moved towards me, colliding into my arms. I held her tight to me, kissing her forehead softly. She rested her cheek against my chest and she started to shake. I just held her tight, keeping her from crumbling apart onto the floor.

"I only knew for a few days," she cried, turning her face into my chest. I nodded and rested my cheek on her head.

"I know," I whispered.

"I didn't even get a chance to tell you!" she sobbed.

I ran my hand over her back and shushed her quietly.

"I knew, Roza. I knew. I was just waiting for you to tell me. If you had called me last night, I would have come home," I told her and she shook her head. She sniffed and pulled back, wiping her cheeks with the side of her hand.

"I wanted to, but I just needed to…process it."

I nodded and cupped her hot cheek, brushing my thumb over her skin.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and she nodded again, a few more tears spilling over her cheeks.

"I know," she whispered back.

"Do you want to stay home today? I can make it work," I offered. Rose looked up at me with a tight smile.

"No. I need the distraction," she whispered. I nodded and kissed her head. After she ate, she went to shower while I got dressed. I finished before she got out so I went back out to the kitchen and packed the lunches she had made the night before. I put her lunch bag in her briefcase and slipped something else in there for her to find later.

RPOV

I set an article on Dimitri's desk and sighed quietly. I didn't put an author's name because I wanted an unbiased opinion. He had told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to read one of my articles, and I had put off doing it. But now was better than never.

Dimitri was meeting with Arthur, going over the interview we did with Adrian, and I felt restless. I left the office and wandered through the hall, finding myself heading towards an office I usually hated being in. Kirova's door was open while she sat at her desk, binder open in front of her while she wrote in another book.

I stepped into her office and sat in the chair just inside the door. She glanced up for a moment before looking back down at her book, pursing her lips every few moments as she wrote.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" she asked as she flipped the page. It looks like she was doing payroll.

"Nothing. Just, sitting," I whispered as I rested my head on my hand, sighing quietly to myself. She glanced up at me again, looking at me for a moment before gesturing for me to shut the door.

"Do you need to talk?" she asked, folding her hands together. I shrugged and licked my lips.

"I don't know. I don't know how I feel right now," I said quietly. Kirova frowned and nodded to herself.

"If you want to talk, you can. But if you feel better just sitting here, that's fine too," she said. I nodded and pulled my feet up to rest on the chair, wrapping my arms around them and resting my chin on my knees. She glanced at me before going back to her payroll books, not acknowledging the silent tears that rolled down my cheeks. I felt numb, but at the same time, I felt like crying all day. I couldn't exactly go hide in the communal bathroom and cry, and I didn't want to cry in front of Dimitri. Not here, not at work.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, it was long enough that Kirova got through her binder and then browsed on her computer.

"I only knew for a week, and I feel like I'm going to fall apart. How did you do it?" I asked, not necessarily asking her, but not not asking.

Kirova leaned back in her chair and took her glasses off, rubbing her nose.

"It's okay to fall apart. You just have to remember that you have a reason to put yourself back together," she said, "It hurts right now because you feel like you failed. But you didn't. There wasn't anything you could have done to stop this or prevent it. It was this way from the beginning."

I nodded and wiped my cheeks with my fist, clearing my throat.

"Light a candle," she said.

"What?"

"A lot of times, people light a candle for the loss of life. But it's also a symbol of healing. When my son died, every member of my church lit a candle. It made me feel better. When I go to evening mass, I will light a candle for you, if you'd like?"

I forced a tight smile. "Thank you."

She nodded and looked back at her computer. I sat there for a few more minutes before I cleared my throat and stood up.

"Thank you. For…letting me fall apart."

Kirova glanced at me and nodded her.

"Of course," she said. I wiped my face again and left the office, sniffing quietly as I walked back to my office. I got some looks as I went, and I knew that I looked like I had been crying, but I couldn't care less about it. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, jumping when Sydney was standing behind me.

"God, put a bell on!"

"Are you okay? Kirova wasn't giving you shit, was she?" Sydney asked.

I took a long drink of the water and shook my head.

"No, she's fine. I'm just having a bad day," I said with a shrug. Sydney frowned and wrapped her skinny arms around me, resting her head against mine. Her embrace almost made me break all over again, but I bit my lip and let her hold me. I returned the hug after a moment. She waited until I pulled away and she grabbed a tissue from the counter, dabbing my cheeks gently.

"If you need me, I'm here," she said softly. I nodded and walked back to the office, sitting down in the chair as I picked up my phone. I set it down right away when I saw the electronic invitation for Lissa's baby shower that her aunt-in-law was planning for her.

I couldn't think about that right now.

I licked my lips when Dimitri came back into the room. He looked at me softly and kissed the top of my head before going to his desk, and picking up the article on his keyboard. He raised his brow as he read the title, invested in it as he read it.

An email popped up from my mom on my screen and I rolled my eyes, closing the notification. I couldn't deal with that either.

"My mother bought a plane ticket," Dimitri said as he read my article.

"Oh?" I asked, lifting my head up. He nodded, words on his lips but he was slightly distracted as he read. He got to the end of his paragraph before he spoke again.

"She's going to be here on Friday morning," he said as he set the article down on his desk.

"Is it just your mother coming?" I asked. I usually would love to have all of his family here, but I don't think I could be huddled up in a house with a bunch of kids right now. It would be too much.

"My Babushka is coming as well," he said as he stood up with the article. He leaned down and kissed my temple, setting my article on my keyboard.

"Give it to one of the editors to review. I want it in the next launch," he said with a smile, "Good job."

I hate to say that money made things happen, but in my case it did. I expected to wait more than two days for a doctor's appointment and expected much longer for a gynecologist appointment, but I was in within the week.

I still felt despondent, and I felt horrible. I felt guilty. I felt like this was my fault. I was healthy, and Dimitri was healthy. But at the same time, I was under so much stress with personal issues. It was the only thing I could think of.

"Are you sure you want me to be here?" Dimitri asked softly. It wasn't a question of whether he needed to be here, but if I wanted him here. I nodded and crossed my ankles as I sat on the bed. I had already had blood tests done yesterday and I had changed into a gown. The nurse had already been in and done my height and weight.

"Yeah. I need you here," I whispered, reaching for his hand. He nodded and kissed my hand when the doctor came in.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Thornhill. You are Mrs. Rose Belikov?" the man asked as he came in, checking the clipboard in front of him.

"Yes," I said quickly.

"You said that you believe you had a miscarriage last week?"

I nodded and swallowed thickly. Dr. Thornhill looked over the clipboard before pulling a rolling stool over with his foot.

"I did get your blood work back. You were pregnant but the embryo did not take," he explained.

"Is it something I did?"

He gave me that smile I had seen on people's faces before. The kind of smile that was full of sympathy.

"No, not necessarily. Fifty percent of miscarriages before the second trimester are not at fault of the mother. It is usually due to a chromosome issue. Please do not feel like this is your fault. I am going to do a pelvic exam to check you out. Do you recall when you had your last pap smear?"

I pursed my lips and shook my head.

"No. My family doctor retired really suddenly and I was in the beginning of University then," I explained and he nodded, standing up and opening the door. He asked for one of the nurses to come back into the room before turning to us.

"Would you like your husband to stay?"

I nodded. "Yes, please."

Dr. Thornhill nodded and the nurse came back into the room.

"While I am doing your exam, I am going to do a pap as well as a basic STI screening. Just standard procedure if you have concerns about your miscarriage. If you feel uncomfortable and need a moment, please let me know," he said as he prepared to do the exam. Once he had gotten everything ready and gloved, he directed me to lay back on the bed. Dimitri stood up and came to stand at the head of the bed; one hand holding mine and the other stroking my hair as he looked down at me. Dr. Thornhill said that he was going to begin.

I licked my lips and said I was ready, my eyes looking up at Dimitri's while the exam was done. I didn't remember the last time I had an exam, but I do remember it being uncomfortable. Once he was finished he asked me more questions about how I was feeling, when I discovered I was pregnant and so on.

"I'd like to do an ultrasound," he said. I nodded and waited for the machine to be brought in.

"What's the ultrasound for?"

"We can se a lot of things on an ultrasound, and this will give me a look to see if there are any abnormalities with the shape of your uterus, or if there are any blockages," Dr. Thornhill explained. I nodded and licked my lip again, closing my eyes.

When he did the ultrasound, I made a face at the pressure. It felt like it took forever, but when he was finished, he turned the screen towards me.

"I believe I know what happened."

"Yes?" Dimitri said.

"It's called a blighted ovum. What happens is the egg is fertilized and the sac begins to grow, but the egg never develops. It doesn't turn into an embryo, so it doesn't have cell multiplication. Your body still sends off the signals and hormones that you're pregnant, but all blighted ovum result in miscarriage. This was not something that you caused," Dr. Thornhill explained, pointing to different spots on the ultrasound.

"What are the chances of this happening again?" Dimitri asked as his fingers ran through my hair, caressing the side of my neck.

"Very low. It's uncommon for this to happen twice. I've seen many patients have a blighted ovum and then have perfectly healthy pregnancies. Was this pregnancy planned?"

I shook my head. "No. I mean, we weren't trying, but we weren't not trying," I explained quietly, "I was in the hospital for pneumonia and had antibiotics. I didn't think anything of it affecting my birth control."

Dr. Thornhill nodded and moved the ultrasound away.

"When the time comes, if you have any difficulties conceiving, we can run more tests and come up with a plan, but otherwise, you look extremely healthy. I didn't see any abnormalities during your ultrasound or feel anything during your exam. You are otherwise very healthy," he explained and I sat up, nodding my head and sighing quietly.

"So, this wasn't something I did. It wasn't because of stress?"

"No. It was this way from the start. It's not a reflection of you or your ability to conceive," Dr. Thornhill explained and moved his stool back to pull something off the stand on the counter. He handed me a few pamphlets and said that I could get cleaned up.

"Give these a read, and if you have any more questions, please call the clinic," Dr. Thornhill explained. I nodded and took the pamphlets. When he left I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.

"I still feel like I need to apologize," I whispered.

"Don't," Dimitri sympathized, "We both know this wasn't anything either of us could have prevented this."

I nodded and Dimitri handed me my pants. I took them and got dressed, running my hands through my hair once I was dressed again.

"I really don't feel like going back to work," I whispered and Dimitri nodded, kissing my head softly.

"Let's go do something to take your mind off this. What do you say?"

"Like what?"

"It's a surprise," he said as he took my hand and led me out of the clinic.