"Father..."
Hearing him say those things...I don't know whether I should be thankful or infuriated. He could have helped me but... just like I am right now he...
"Hear me, my son. Your family needs you but in this state. Please, be patient." I heard him say. "I will give you some space."
All I could do was pace around in this empty white room. Why did it have to be this way? I fought through so much, bled, and even died for a brief moment...all for it to end like this? Not even seeing my children grow up? I could feel the anger boing inside me again. It hit me.
I'm dead.
I'm angry.
I'm lonely.
"Why did it have to be this way?!"
"Please, don't make the same mistake I did."
His words constantly appeared in my head since he left... Did he truly feel like this? This...dread? I...I don't want to accept it but...I may have no choice. I have to accept my reality for me to move on.
Tired, I lay flat on the ground and closed my eyes. I tried to imagine Mother's world from before, a grassy terrain, to help me relax. I steadied my breathing and for the first in what seemed like decades, my mind was at ease and my body was at rest
Crying...why do I ...why do I hear crying?
I sat up from my peaceful slumber. I was no longer in the terrain...but at my house.
"But...how..?" My eyes adjusted to the dark room, feeling things that were familiar to the touch. ' Is this...Shina's room? It looks...disheveled." Clothes were everywhere. I saw some of the drawings he made of us torn on the floor. I picked it up and inspected it. It was the drawing he made before the mission, he even included his slug on the side. I remember Sakura-chan and I signing the back with a message. I flipped it over to see but the words were hard to make out.
"sniffle...Dad...sniffle why did you have to g-go.."
"Shina-chan..."
I cautiously walked over to him, he was curled into his blankets in his bed crying into his pillow. My precious Shinachiku...
"Y-you said you'll be back...both of you guys... You lied Dad." He buried himself further into his blanket.
My heart was in turmoil. Seeing him so hurt by this...I can't take it! I knelt beside him and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Shina-chan...Shina-chan I'm here! Please! Daddy never lied, He is always here with you!" There was crying...but they no longer belonged to him. There was only mine. I looked at my son who was staring back at me clear as day. The tears never stopped.
"D-Dad..?"
"Y-you can see me?"
He didn't say a word, he just nodded.
I was speechless. I had a small bit of doubt the last time this happened but now...
"Shinachiku, listen to me. I...I have not left you nor your sibling and especially not your mother. I am still here. I will always be here. You got that?" Again, he nodded his head. "I love you so much."
"I love..you too...Dad." I hugged him, I hugged him so tight as if I would never see him again. And who knows, this may be the last time i see him in this way. I don't know how it happened but I will cherish this moment.
Footsteps could be heard getting louder and louder behind the door. I could feel my time coming to an end. "Shina-chan, I have to go." His grip on me tightened.
"Please, don't!"
I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. "I will always be here."
"Shina-chan, who are you talking to?"
"N-nobody...mom.