A\N: This idea has been rolling around in my head for a while and it was actually meant for another fandom but I think it works for The Good Wife as well as my other fandom. The pairing is obviously Willicia, I'm not sure about the genre though, it'll come to me when I'm writing and I don't know how long it'll be so I'll see when I'm writing and the shooting didn't happen in this oneshot so I'd say this Willicia oneshot is an AU. I hope you enjoy, Angels.
She remembers the night she had asked him to stop loving her and it had driven knives through her heart because she knew that he loved her more than anything and she loved him but she couldn't leave her husband who had cheated on her 18 times with a hooker. She couldn't put her kids through what her and her brother went through when her parents divorced when she was a child, being shuttled house to house every week, getting confused about who's picking them up from soccer practice. Granted her kids are much older and would understand why it was happening, seeing as her son had heard that she had saw a divorce attorney days after her husband had been arrested and the news was out, but still, she refused to let her children to be herded around like cattle the same way she and her brother were, so if it meant breaking her, and his, heart to not let it happen then she would do it.
And she did.
Flashback, 3 months ago:
Her hands are shaking when she exits the elevator and steps into the lobby of Lockhart/Gardner 28th floor so she puts them in the pockets of her coat so no one will see them shake when she passes them, not that they'll be looking at her hands: they'll be looking at her with the same look Will has worn for the last 10 months or so. The look of utter betrayal and devastation.
She keeps her eyes down as she walks towards Will's office, Diane's office is empty she notices when she sneaks a look over at the office across the hall from Will's.
Will hasn't noticed her standing outside his office door, debating whether or not to just turn back around and pretend she didn't even come here, but that wouldn't work: people would tell him she'd been here and then left without speaking to anyone. She takes a deep breath and knocks on his glass door, watching as his head lifts itself from the paperwork, his eyes flashing as they lock on her, Alicia opens the door and slips inside his office before he has time to tell her to leave, the door shuts behind her.
They're both silent, neither one wants to shatter the silence until Will does.
"Why are you here, Alicia and not at your firm, the firm you betrayed us for?" He asks, leaning back in his chair, and staring at her with a hateful look on his face, waiting for an answer. Alicia's hands are shaking even more as tears gather in her eyes.
"I need you to stop loving me, Will." She says as the first of what will be many tears fall down her cheeks. She wants to look away from Will, walk out of his building, get in the car and drive off back to the apartment and never leave it and allow the heartbreak consume her, but she doesn't, she stays and looks at him as he stands up.
"Y.. you want me to do what?" He asks, Alicia swallows.
"I need you to stop loving me." She whispers. It's even more heartbreaking to say it a second time because it makes it more real.
"What if I already have stopped loving you?" Will asks, she gasps through her tears.
Will is standing up now, looking at her with heartbreak in his own eyes.
Her silence is all Will needs to continue.
"I stopped loving you the second Diane told me you were leaving with Cary and the others. That's the day you broke my heart for the last and final time, Alicia." Alicia simply stares at the man who was once her best friend, the best friend who is now talking to her like a client he can't stand to be in the same room with but has been told to fake nice until they leave.
"W.. Will, you don't mean that." She says to him, Will nods his head.
"God, I should never have hired you. If I didn't none of this would ever have happened." He mutters to himself though she hears it.
Suddenly the tears vanish, her hands stop shaking and she's staring at the man who thought loved her.
"Fine. Then as of now we're nothing but former colleagues and friends that were in college but that's over, what we had in school and a few years ago in the Presidential Suite is over." She says with finality. Will nods his head in agreement.
"I agree but before we part ways, I need to tell you something," She waits for him to tell her what he wants to tell her and she can sense that she'll either end up walking away in tears or with a hurt hand from slapping him across the face. "Well?" She demands of him impatiently.
"Sometimes I wish I never met you, never became your best friend, wish I ignored you at that pool party and I wish I never fell in love with you because all that has gotten me are more broken hearts than I can count. Falling in love with you was the worst mistake I've ever made and one I won't ever make again. Goodbye, Mrs Florrick." Will says before he sits back down and returns to his paperwork as if she's never been there. Alicia swallows as a sob rises in her throat, she turns around and walks towards the door, opens it before looking at the man who will forever be her first, and last, love.
"Goodbye, Will Gardner.'' She leaves his office and closes the door behind her for the last time, ignoring Diane's eyes on her from the office across the hall.
This is the last she will be back here at Lockhart/Gardner.
She lets the sob tear free from her throat as soon as the elevator doors close around her.
She had gone back to Florrick/Agos where she was engulfed in a bear hug from Cary the second she stepped out of the service elevator. Her partner had apparently got a call from Diane who explained what she saw and heard, according to Diane, Alicia hadn't closed the door all the way so what happened between her and Will was audible, not that Alicia cared about it. She had said what she said even though every word was a lie. She lied to Will in order to protect whatever was left of her marriage and keep her kids happy.
Even if she wasn't happy.
It's been three months since she had last heard from Will or anyone from Lockhart/Gardner which suited her just fine, she didn't want to hear off anyone at that firm. Everyone around her had noticed that was different: she didn't smile or laugh, she hadn't eaten properly in weeks, she had lost weight and her clothes had started to hang off her.
She was different in court too, easier to anger, more fiery, she had dove into work, and had taken on more and more clients and more cases, sometimes she had trials back to back. Her partner was concerned, her so-called husband was concerned, her kids were concerned, her mother was concerned, her brother was concerned, but no one knew what to do to help her. Not that she needed anybody's help. She had ensured that her kids would never go through what her and Owen went through.
She had changed in the three months since asking Will to stop loving her, which had been the catalyst for this whole change in his partner, thought Cary Agos as he sat at his desk and watched with a frown when his partner left the conference room with yet another armful of files.
He was all for his partner picking up more clients and cases but this was getting ridiculous. Alicia hadn't been herself since that afternoon with Will three months ago. Will must have said something that Diane didn't catch or hear right, something had caused this dramatic change in his partner, he's had calls from her husband, children, mother and brother asking to help her. That'll start right now. Cary decided as he stood up and marched out of his office. He passed Robyn who was speaking to Carey Zepps, he didn't see Alicia anywhere.
"Hey, you guys seen Alicia?" He asked the two of them, Robyn looked at Cary.
"She said she was in court all day and didn't want to be disturbed unless it was something to do with the kids or another client." The investigator told her boss who groaned.
"Damn it, Alicia." Hissed Cary before he walked back into his office and got his car keys. "Carey, you're with me, everyone continue doing what you're doing," he paused when he saw the looks he was getting from his employees who were also his friends. "Is it Alicia?" Someone asked. Cary sighed: he wasn't a fool, he knew that all of Florrick/Agos and Associates had noticed that Alicia was different and they didn't know what to do about it.
"Yes, Me and Zepps are going to court where Alicia is and are making her take some time off, she needs it. Does anyone disagree?" When he and Alicia started this firm, they had agreed to get their employees votes on some things, like time off.
"No, she needs to take time off, she's changed and she needs to be the old Alicia. This new one is going to run herself into the ground." Carey spoke up. Carey, himself and Alicia had forged a friendship since they first started Florrick/Agos, and Carey had become protective of Alicia, as had Cary, after the blowup between Will and Alicia after Will found out about their leaving.
Cary and Carey had seen their friend look like that once before and it had only been fleeting before her masks were back in place but it had been there and they had seen it: fear and heartbreak.
Alicia narrowed her eyes and turned around at the sound of her name being called by her partner. She turned around and saw Cary and Carey a few feet in front of her. "What are you two doing here? I have court in twenty minutes." She told them, even though they knew that, Carey shook his head. "Not anymore. Carey is taking over your cases. It's been decided by Florrick/Agos that you need time to sort out this mess between you and Will Gardner because it's clearly affected you." Cary told her, Alicia sighed and looked at her partner and her friend.
"I'm fine, guys and Carey can't take my cases, he doesn't know them, I do because I've worked night and day on them. It's not happening." She replied. She didn't understand why her friends were worried about her: she was fine. The guys looked at each other.
"Alicia, if you don't take the time off, we're going to call Will and he'll make you take it off." Carey threatened. At the mention of Will's name, an invisible knife shot through her heart. It had been three months since she had uttered his name and it had slowly been killing her everyday. Her once best friend, who had swallowed his pride and came to her wedding even though he hated her husband and danced with her and told her how proud he was of her, had told her he wished he never met and fell in love with her at Georgetown.
A sob tore from her throat as she thought about Will Gardner before she swallowed it before anyone could hear it. "Fine, I'll take time off but after court today, I promise." She blinked the tears away and became the Alicia she had made herself become three months ago in his office, her partner and friend looked at each, seeming to be talking to each with their eyes, the way she and Will used to do.
"Alright, Alicia, but you're taking two weeks and in those two weeks, you need to speak to Will because," Carey was cut off by Alicia's hand being slapped across his face as soon as Will's name left his mouth.
"I'll take the two weeks off but under any circumstances am I talking to Will Gardner!" Alicia hissed before she turned on her heels and walked into court with a new kind fire in her eyes before her friends could comment.
"Okay, apparently Will had hurt her more than any of us realised." Carey said as he and Cary drove back to Florrick/Agos, Cary nodded as he stopped at a red light. "You okay?" He asked as his eyes left the lights and at his friend's cheek which had a red hand print of Alicia's hand. Carey chuckled. "I'm fine, Alicia's hand didn't hurt that much." The young lawyer told his boss. "The important thing is we find out what the hell happened between Alicia and Will in his office the day she went to ask him to stop loving her, because there's more to the conversation than what Diane told us about. But I don't get it: why did Alicia ask Will to stop loving her in the first place? We all know that those two will always love each other." He, like everyone else at their firm, were all curious as to why Alicia asked their former boss to stop loving Alicia. Cary sighed beside him.
"She did it for Peter and the kids, she's worried that Will loving her and her loving him would make her divorce Peter and be with Will, and she doesn't want to divorce Peter because of what happened to her and Owen when they were kids," Cary explained. Carey wanted to know what happened to his boss and her brother when they were kids.
"Veronica divorced their Dad and they spent a week at each parents house and had to listen to their parents arguing, she doesn't want that for Zach and Grace. That's why she asked Will to stop loving her." His boss said, Carey rolled his eyes at his other boss's selflessness: he couldn't believe she'd sacrifice her own love and happiness to protect her children from the same thing she and her brother went through, despite not loving her husband anymore.
"If you asked me, she should've divorced Peter the day it came out about his sleeping with hookers 18 times." Carey muttered. He smiled when he saw his friend nod in agreement with him out of the corner of his eye.
"So, any ideas on how we find out what happened in Will's office three months ago?" Cary asked as he started driving when the light turned green.
"Well, Alicia won't tell us and we don't speak to Will, so no idea. But I think I have an idea on how to get them talking again." Carey said with a smirk. He spent the rest of the drive back to the office, explaining his idea to his boss who agreed with him.
"We'd better tell Diane about the idea so that she can convince Will that he needs to come to the place." Cary said as he parked in his parking space and killed the engine. "The real question is: how in the hell do we convince Alicia? The second she sees Will, she'll bolt." Carey had thought of that and had an answer. "Don't worry, Cary, I have it all sorted out." He said as he left the car.
Alicia closed the apartment door behind her and leaned against it, a tired sigh slipped from her lips as her eyes closed. It had been a long day in court today with two cases in court back-to-back but she had won them both.
She pushed herself off the door and walked into the kitchen where a note caught her eye.
She picked it up and read the handwriting. It was from Zach and Grace.
Mom,
Dad picked me and Zach up, we're staying with him for a few days to give you some time alone. You need and deserve it. There's food in the fridge for you. Please don't work too hard, you've been doing that a lot lately.
We love you.
Z&G
She smiled at the note before her smile turned into a frown. Her kids were gone for a few days which left her alone. She promised Cary and Carey that she'd take a two week break but her clients need her. She can't give up on them.
She left the kitchen and walked over to where she dropped her purse and took out the files she snuck home with her after court. If she was going to be alone for a few days, she could at least do some more work, work that Cary and Carey didn't explicitly say not to do. She poured herself a glass of red wine, sat down at the kitchen island and began to read the files in front of her as she ignored the gnawing in her gut that told her firm was up to something they knew she wouldn't approve of.
Over at Lockhart/Gardner, Diane Lockhart watched her partner through the glass. Her partner had snapped at another partner. It had been 3 months since he and Alicia had spoken in his office, and three months since she had had a decent conversation with her partner that didn't turn into a shouting match.
She had just hung up the phone with Cary Agos who had a plan to get Will and Alicia talking again but it was going to be a battle to get Will to go with her to meet up with Cary and Carey Zepps and that was before they met with Alicia.
But she had no idea how to even approach the subject with him. But she knew she needed to speak to him.
Alicia frowned as she parked up outside Lockhart/Gardner on a Friday night. She wanted to turn right around and go home but she couldn't, she knew Cary would be waiting for her in this place, the last place she wanted to be. She sighed and got out of the car and saw Cary waiting for her.
"Cary." Alicia greeted as she reached her partner and friend.
"Alicia." Cary said before he walked away with a gesture for her to follow him.
She followed him without a word, seeing as it wouldn't do anything.
The ride to the 28th floor was a quiet one between her and her partner. She didn't know what to say but she had questions: why did Cary ask her to meet him here? What was he up to? What he did want to discuss at Lockhart/Gardner? Was he planning something bigger than he originally said?
Suddenly the elevator opened and out walked Cary and in was shoved Will, then the elevator doors were shut.
"Hey, Diane!" Will pounded on the doors as he ignored her. It was like she wasn't even in the elevator with him.
"Diane, open the doors!" Will shouted again as he pounded on the doors even harder.
"It's not going to work, Will! Our partners have teamed up to lock us in this damn elevator!" She said which grabbed his attention. Will looked at her with the look of betrayal in his eyes.
"I know that." He snapped. Those were the first words he had spoken to her in three months and they were spoken in a cold voice, in a voice that didn't sound like him.
She flinched at his words.
The Will she knew in college, the Will she knew five years ago, the Will she knew two years ago, would have never spoken to her like he just did.
"I don't know what the hell our partners have done but you made it very clear that you wanted nothing to do with me, that you wished you never met me so just pretend I'm not here, that I'm a stranger locked in an elevator." She snapped right back. She slid down the wall until she was sat on the floor.
"I could never pretend that you're a stranger." Will said quietly as he slid down beside her, she moved away. She didn't want to be anywhere near him.
"Alicia, please." Will begged, she scoffed, her eyes rolling at the same time.
"Will, what you said three months ago made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me." She said.
Will stood up and gently yanked her up with him.
He was staring at her intently. "Don't ask me to stop loving you. Ever. Because I will always love you, Alicia Florrick. Always." Then he kissed her gently.
She hesitated before she returned the kiss, all thoughts about protecting her kids from the same thing she and Owen went through as children forgotten. Right now she just wanted Will, the Will she had twenty years and two years ago, and only Will.
She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.
"One year from today, I'll be divorced and we can be together, just promise you'll wait a year for me, a year, that's all I'm asking."
She knew she didn't have any business asking him to wait a year for her, but she had to at least ask. Will nodded his head.
"A year, that's it. If you're not divorced by today next year, that's it. I'm done waiting for you, Alicia. A year or we're done." Will told her and she kissed him which sealed her promise to be with him next year forever.
"A year to wait, then we're together forever."
A\N: This took me a week to write, I know the ending is rushed but I needed it finished as I have other stories to write. I hope you enjoyed this, Angels.