"I think this is not working!"
Despite her shaken voice, the certainty gleaming in her eyes was reason enough to scare him. Arnold hesitates, not sure what to do.
"Did I…do something wrong, Helga?"
She calmly denied, her eyes never meeting him.
"No, Arnold, is just not working."
And that's how the unthinkable happened: Helga G. Pataki broke up with the boy she was in love with since kindergarten, Arnold Shortman, out of nowhere.
The blonde tennager opened his eyes carefully. Having a glass roof certainly had its advantages during the night. You could see the stars, the Moon and even maybe a meteor shower with luck. But in the mornings… Ohh, the sun rays were definitely a huge disadvantage, especially when the Sun rises before your alarm clock even rings.
Was almost the end of the summer, so the Sun wasn't that aggressive in the early morning, Arnold thought with his unshakable optimism. Deciding that since he has already woken up, he could get ready at his own rhythm.
First day of high school. So many promises about this day and what's represents. According to so many tv shows, teen movies and books that he read, this is the moment when his life actually begins. This is when the course of his life will be determined.
He was anxious, excited and nervous.
"Hey son, who kicked you out of your bed?" Miles joked with his big and unashamed smile after seeing Arnold coming down the stairs already dressed up.
"The Sun, dad!" Arnold replied while looking around and noticing only him and Miles were in the room. "Where's everyone?"
"Your mother left to go to the center a couple of minutes ago, your gramps are still sleeping and also probably the residents. And I… your incredible and awesome dad, are doing the breakfast"
Arnold smiled only now realizing his dad was wearing the apron he gave to him on Father's Day. A very nanny style apron written "Best Dad Ever" on the center. It was supposed to be a gift prank, but Miles genuinely loved and treasured.
"Excited for the first day?" Miles asked while serving Arnold some pancakes.
"A little. I don't know what to expect to be honest!"
"Well, that's the adventure of life. It wouldn't be fun if we knew!"
After saving his parents from San Lorenzo and having finally the opportunity to know them, Arnold discovered that he certainly had taken his optimism from his dad.
"No one could ever doubt you are father and son. It's annoying even! " joked Helga once.
Helga.
"Oh, oh, I know this face!" Miles' voice suddenly brought Arnold back from his thoughts. " What's eating you?"
"Nothing." he lied and it was clear as day that Miles knew he lied, and Arnold knew that too, but he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't even want to think about it. "Just the nerves"
"Son, I don't know if this is gonna help with something but… is good to let luck and destiny guide us to take us where we want to be, but most of the time, we have to help luck and destiny to happen!"
Unfortunately for Arnold, it wasn't up to him.
"Thanks, Dad!" Arnold said sincerely, but certain that it wasn't going to help him at all "I think I'm going to meet Gerald at his house so we can go to school together"
Miles nodded.
"Go safe, say hi to the little man and tell me everything after school, ok?"
It's not that he didn't trust his parents. The events that led Helga to break up with him two years ago were a mystery even for him, so he didn't have much to talk about. He was over her now, it's not like he pinned after Helga for all this time, but it was so abrupt, so sudden, with no warming at all, that until today, Arnold caught himself thinking if he actually didn't anything wrong.
It was weird. He knew Helga loved him since kindergarten and everything that Helga did for him in the name of this love was proof enough to show how serious she was. She was loyal, passionate, and never had any doubts about him before. She knew him, actually knew him, and even so, loved him. For a girl with steady feelings like that, it confuses Arnold why she would break up so suddenly.
So, it must be him, right?
He never had the guts to ask her again. "At some point, it will pass", he said to himself, a mantra playing in his head for the past two years.
BUMP.
Before Arnold could realize what happened, he was already on the floor.
"Geez, Arnold, you don't look where you're going?!"
Arnold froze. Maybe he thought too much about it and it kind of conjured her. Oh no, she was looking. He needed to dismiss his panic.
"Sorry, Helga! But I'm pretty sure you also weren't looking!" Arnold answered with a smirk on his face. In a quick movement he got up and, as usual, offered his hand to Helga.
"Right, right, I'm sorry too!" she said, rolling her eyes, while smiling.
She said sorry, but she didn't accept his hand. Embarrassed, Arnold put his hand in his pockets while she was still adjusting herself.
Despite always being around Helga during these years, Arnold was still surprised of how she grew up during the summer. Her long and wavy hair had pink stripes at the ends now, and he really liked it. She was more curvy and even still dressing as a tomboy, she was surprisingly more feminine. Arnold blush, suddenly realizing he was checking his friend out.
"What are you doing so early anyway?" Arnold asked her automatically and Helga lifted one of her brows.
"I could ask you the same thing!", she challenged him.
"The Sun…"
"You really need to buy some curtains, you know!". Yeah, Arnold knew.
"Ok, now you!"
Helga hesitates for a moment.
"Well… just, you know, trying to enjoy the morning air before school".
Arnold was sure she was lying, but knew better than to press her.
"Are you jogging' or something?"
Before both of them realized, they were walking together without any attention to the way they were going.
"Something."
Helga said so nonchalantly that Arnold let out a little laugh.
"What?" She asked surprised and maybe a little offended, Arnold thought.
"You..I don't know. You always talk like you've got something to hide!"
Helga didn't reply at first.
"What if I have?", she asked. "What would you do?"
Arnold was a little taken back by this question. Helga's expression was serious and her eyes had a challenged gleam on it.
"Well… You know that I like to preserve people's privacy, so if you don't want to talk about it, I wouldn't force you."
Helga scoffed, smiling.
"Yeah, nothing new under the Sun", she said and Arnold decided to ignore it.
"But also because we have known each other for so long, that I trust that you'll be comfortable enough to ask me for help when you need it."
This time, Helga didn't make any comment.
"You know that, right Helga?" Arnold insisted on it.
"Yeah, yeah, I know that Arnold. Thank you". Helga said, and Arnold couldn't pinpoint why the way she answered bothered him.
"I like the new hair, by the way!" He said trying to change the subject "Pink is always a good color for you!"
Helga took a strand of her hair and looked at it.
"I was bored!" she answered emotionlessly.
Arnold was still thinking about that reaction when Helga suddenly turned at him.
"So, I'm going now. Have something to do before school!"
Arnold just nodded.
"See you later, alligator!" Helga said smiling, making Arnold also smile.
"After a while, crocodile!" he answered, waving at her disappearing figure.
Maybe he could push his luck a little bit more.
"You need some curtains!" Gerald simply said with his new low voice, after seeing Arnold at his doorstep.
Gerald entered back in the house, leaving the door open so Arnold could follow him.
"Yeah, I know.", Arnold simply answered, closing the door behind you.
Both of the boys entered Gerald's room. Was much more of a mess that he could remember. So many clothes on the floor that Arnold was surprised that there were still clothes in the closet.
"Ohh, what happened here?"
"Choosing what to wear, of course! Is the first day of school, man!" Gerald's anxious voice showed how important this was for him. "We're going to be freshmans, we need to create an impact!"
"You're 5 '7 foot tall, Gerald. You're going to create an impact just by entering the hallway", Arnold sincerely said.
"Ok, this one or this one?"Gerald asked, showing Arnold a red shirt and a blue shirt, completely ignoring what Arnold just said. "Hmm, yeah, I like blue better!"
"Is Pheebs going to our high school?"Arnold asked and Gerald suddenly threw the blue shirt at the pile on the floor.
"No, she received that scholarship to a private school", he answered a little down.
"But…you guys are still dating, right?"
Gerald looked at him and nodded.
"Yeah, we're still dating…I don't know bro, I want to be completely happy for her, but… I'm going to miss having her around, you know!"
"Well, she still going to be in the city, so at least that"
"Yeah, at least that!" Gerald agreed, taking a green shirt from his closet.
"I saw Helga today." Arnold started. Gerald looked at him puzzled.
"We see her almost everyday!" Gerald said as a matter of fact, returning his attention to the now yellow shirt on his hands.
"Yeah, we do."
Gerald then turned back to see Arnold laying down on his bed.
"Oh, oh, I know this face! What happened?"
Arnold took a deep breath.
"I don't know, I guess…We're freshmans now, as you said, and we should start fresh so I really don't want to leave anything unresolved!"
"What are you talking about?" Gerald sounded really confused.
"When Helgra broke up with me, I simply accepted and did nothing about it, but I really want to know what happened, you know! So I can try to move on."
Finally, Gerald settled for a red shirt. No surprises there.
"Man, I don't know what to say, really! To me, and probably to everyone else, you took the break up like…how to say this? Like a monday morning!"
Arnold lifted one of his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?"
Gerald thought a little bit before continue.
"Like…you are bummed, but not sad. Like it was just an inconvenience that you quickly got through."
"What makes you think that?" Arnold was genuinely surprised hearing this. He was sad, devastated, ashamed and guilty. A girl who loved him unconditionally had just broken up with him and he didn't know what he had made to lose that love. He passed the first days isolated in his mind, reviving his relationship to try to find where he did wrong. It pained him every time someone would come to talk about it, because it was a reminder of the affection he lost.
"I don't know how to explain, man! It just seems you were fine. You and Helga kept being friends, you didn't pined over her, like you did with Lila or Ruth. You didn't insist with her, like you also did with Lila. When I asked you if you wanted to talk about it, you always said that you were okay, so…to me and everyone else…you were."
Arnold felt like an ice block just punched his stomach. It was different. Lila and Ruth never liked him back, and he insisted because he wanted a chance with them before giving up. Helga liked him, loved him. He had the chance, and somehow he blew it.
"I just…didn't want to talk about it at the time!"
Gerald sat next to Arnold and put a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't notice, man"
"Gerald, school!", both boys heard Gerald's mom scream from the kitchen.
"Well, time's up! Red it'll be then", Gerald said, giving a last look at the mirror.
A sudden realization hit Arnold.
"Gerald, do you think Helga thought I didn't care about our break up?"
Gerald hesitated a little.
"Well…as I said Arnold, me and everyone else"
He wasn't feeling very well. His stomach was giving knots and his heart was beating fast. The thought that everyone, especially her, had the impression that he didn't care about their relationship was making him physically sick.
It didn't help that Helga was sharing the same class as him.
She was at the front, focusing on something probably important that the teacher was saying, that he couldn't focus even for the world. He wanted to know more, he wanted to talk to her. Did Helga actually believe that, after everything they went through, he didn't care? That he didn't like her back?
He needs to ask Gerald.
No…
He needs to ask her!
Trying not to think too much, Arnold took stealthy his cellphone.
Hey, I need to talk to you about something. Can I take you home?
He sent. It was a couple of seconds until Helga received the message and looked directly at him. He tried to make the most reassured face he could.
Arnold, do you want to give me an anxiety attack? Just tell me what it is already!
Arnold looked at her. Helga's expression was saying something like "Don't stall".
"Cute", he thought, smiling.
Don't worry, it's nothing to be stressed about. I'll even pay you an ice cream!
He saw Helga rolling her eyes.
'Don't worry', the phrase that always works to calm down someone!
Arnold laughed, calling the attention to the whole class.
"Mr. Shortman, is there something funny about our study program for the year?", asked the teacher.
Helga tried to hide a little devious smile.
"Well… hmm… I saw ancient Egypt and thought about the aliens."
A series of giggles were heard. The teacher just took a deep breath.
"Mr. Shortman, please try not to disrupt the class again, otherwise I'll have to send you to the director's office"
Arnold just nodded and his eyes went to Helga's direction. She gave him a playful wink and drifted her attention back to the teacher, leaving Arnold alone with his beating heart.
Arnold was kind of surprised that Helga took her recess with Rhonda and Nadine. Usually Helga will be with him, Gerald and Phoebe, but probably because Phoebe went to another school, she decided to talk to the other girls.
"Are you bummed she's not here?" Gerald asked, pointing to Helga at the table with the girls.
"Well, without Phoebe here I should know that it'll happen!" Arnold answered. "But it's actually a good thing, since I actually wanted to talk about it with you".
Gerald gave his sandwich a generous bite.
"It only took two years…" Gerald jested about it and Arnold rolled his eyes. "Jokes aside, I'm surprised and…kind of happy, to hear that you liked, or like, her!"
"What's the surprise in that? The way you speak it looks like I never liked her at all!"
Gerald swallowed.
"Well, It's not that it didn't look like you disliked her…but certainly it looked like you…weren't in it! Like you were just giving her a chance. Don't take me wrong, man. The girl was head over heels for you for more than a decade, and during this time she was making your life a living hell, so no one, not even her, would expect you to reciprocate her feelings at the same measure"
"I don't know if I did, to be honest. But I definitely…love her." Gerald almost choked with his juice when heard that "I was infatuated with Lila and Ruth, but Helga…I mean, look how brave she always was. The FTY, San Lorenzo, when we discovered she was our Christmas Angel, remember?!" Gerald nodded, giving another bite on his sandwich. "The more I knew and discovered about her, the more I…felt for her. Everything she did was so amazing. She is amazing!"
"I get it man, but I don't know…I think I'm missing something in there."
Arnold looked confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Hmm, let me see. If you asked me why I loved Phoebe I would say that's because she's cute, smart, kind, sweet, always trying to help everyone and make everyone feel good! I also would say that's because when she smiled, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I would say she's soft, that I like when she's angry because she looks like an angry teddy bear, and it's the cutest thing ever! Do you get the difference?"
Arnold tilted his head, still clearly confused. Gerald took a deep breath.
"What I'm saying is: The reason I like Phoebe is because Phoebe is just being Phoebe. The reason you like Helga is because Helga did things for you. Amazing things, true, don't take me wrong, but still…"
Gerald didn't need to finish the phrase. Arnold got it.
He liked Helga because of Helga, didn't he?
If it wasn't for San Lorenzo or FTY, he still would like her, right?
Right?
"Hey, Arnold!"
Helga's voice woke Arnold from his thoughts. There she was, with her golden/pink hair, her strong eyebrows and her smile. Helga is smiling so much more nowadays than back when they used to be kids.
When that happened again?
He likes her smile.
But again, who doesn't? And is that reason enough to love her?
"On the clouds again? Do you want me to go back another time and leave the two of you alone?"
"Ha…ha…ha, very funny, Helga!"
"Well, I'll let you know that I'm a pretty funny person! So, what did you want to talk about?"
He needed a little bit more time.
"Let's take the ice cream first!" He said.
"Hmm, so it's something that 'll make me angry!", Helga concluded.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you know I love ice cream and want to smooth me over so I don't get angry with wherever you want to talk about it."
Arnold just smiled.
"Whatever you say, Helga"
Was it always this easy to be with her? When Arnold thinks about it, the answer it'll be yes. Even in the days she was still hiding her feelings, whenever she stopped fighting pretending to hate him, they'll always get along and he'll always have fun with her.
"How come you stopped calling me Football Head?"
Helga showed some surprise with the question, but Arnold noticed that she was thinking.
"I don't know, I guess I just… didn't want to tease you anymore?!"
Arnold laughed.
"You teased me all the time! You just teased me five minutes ago!"
Helga's face suddenly blushed and Arnold thought that was the cutest expression she ever did.
"Well, then I guess I just didn't want to be mean about it!" Helga replied with the redness still on her cheeks.
"I never thought you were being mean!" Arnold said calmly "it was…somewhat cute, like a pet name or something"
Helga looked at him incredulous.
"Did I turn you into a masochist or something?" Arnold smiled.
"No, it's just…that I knew you. I didn't know about many things, that's true" He added after noticing Helga was ready to interfere " But I knew you were more bark than bite"
"No offense, Arnold, but you always think that everyone is more bark than bite"
That statement kind of bothered him, and before he could figure out why, they arrived at the Slausen's.
While Helga was still checking the new flavors, Arnold caught himself thinking. Did Helga think she wasn't special to him? His statement was a way to show Helga how he really enjoyed her, even before knew about her feelings towards him. Which was true, he really did enjoy her. A lot of times he tried to get closer to her or defend her.
"you always think that everyone is more bark than bite"
Yeah, to be fair to her statement, he'll probably be doing that to everyone, or at least give the benefit of doubt.
But being right about her being the good and amazing person he always thought she was…made him happier than being right about everyone else. Why? He thought.
Because then I'll finally receive permission to like her.
He always thought Helga was funny. He always thought she was pretty. He always knew how sensitive and kind was her soul ( after all, Hilda came from somewhere of his own mind), and he always hoped she would prove him right, so he could finally be free to fall for the girl he always knew she was, but she was always trying her best to deny.
These past years, Helga was more and more the girl he knew he would love. She was funny, smart, breathtakingly beautiful, fearless, passionate, sensitive, selfless, a loyal friend and a kind heart.
No, he didn't like Helga because of the things she did for him. He liked Helga because the things she did for him just showed him the kind of person Helga was.
After taking their ice creams, Arnold guided Helga to a secluded part of the park.
"Are you harvesting my organs?" She joked about it. But despite her playful tone, Arnold noticed.
"She's nervous"
His heart skipped a beat.
When they arrive at the spot Arnold knew they'll be alone, he finally told her:
"Helga, I really want to talk about our break up!"
She didn't reply immediately. Distracting herself with her ice cream, Helga's eyes wandered through the park. Arnold was getting nervous and started thinking about something else to say.
"What's more to talk about?"
Arnold recognized the tone she used. She was on the defensive.
"Look, Helga I'm going to be completely honest with you and I cannot ask anything more than that for you to listen to me, but I'll really like it if you could be honest too, ok?"
Helga didn't agree or disagree. Arnold knew it was a good sign.
"When you broke up with me, I was very, very confused. It never left my mind that I maybe did something to you to run out of love for me, if I've disappointed you in any way…"
"Arnold, I already told you…"
"I know you did, Helga! Still…it kind of never made sense you know!"
She didn't reply, but her eyes were fixated on him.
"I was…disappointed with myself. And ashamed, and guilty. I've had this perfect amazing girl that loved me with all her might and…somehow I blew it. When I met you this morning, I thought I would talk to you again about it, maybe to try to understand, but when I was talking to Gerald about it, he told me something that made me very concerned."
He looked serious at Helga.
"He told me that he, and everyone else, thought that not only our break up, but our relationship, wasn't something I actually care about. Because the way I behaved was different from when I've had a crush on Lila or Ruth. And it kind of got me thinking if you've had that impression too. Tell me truly, please. Did you, Helga? Did you ever think that I didn't love you?"
Helga took some time, which was of course, not doing any favors to Arnold's heart. But he understood that he had time to prepare for this conversation, and she didn't. So it was nothing more than fair than to give her all the time she needed.
"You said you wanted me to be honest and I will be, but you've have to promise that you're not going to be mad"
Arnold nodded, already feeling his heart coming up to his throat.
"The reason I broke up with you at that time was because Rhonda brought up a statement that never left my mind and kind of haunted me. She asked me if I wasn't concerned that you were stuck with me. You see, she pointed out that after I helped rescue your parents you've probably felt like you owned me or something, so you agreed to date me to kind…repay. "
Arnold was ready to defend himself, but stopped when Helga put her hands up.
"Now, I know you and I know that you'll never do that….however…she'd a point! You were grateful and you decided to date me after San Lorenzo and the reason you gave me was because of 'everything I did', so even if you deliberately didn't date me to repay me…maybe unconsciously you did?! So…I've had to test it!"
"So you broke up with me to test this?" Arnold asked, trying to understand Helga's train of thoughts.
"See Arnold, at the time I thought that no one knew better what you are like you're in love than me! I saw you fall in love with Ruth, Lila, Summer, so I thought : if I broke up with him, and he tried to talk about it, try to fix wherever it could've been broken, then…it means he likes me and I'm not a burden he's carrying around just to repay something he thinks he owns me!"
"But I didn't. I kind of just asked if you were sure, you said you were and I let you walk away without any further questions! So you thought you were a burden to me!" Arnold closed the conclusion.
"That's that!" Helga said.
"And because people thought I acted cool after our break up, you also received the confirmation that I didn't actually liked you, since I got over you so fast when I pinned over Laila for years"
Helga just nodded.
"I was kinda cool with that, Arnold. I didn't want you to feel that you were stuck with me. I did what I did because I wanted to see you happy and because I wanted you to realize my feelings. I didn't need you to reciprocate my feelings for you, I just wanted you to know, so I could have a chance! And I did, so that's okay"
Arnold took some time to put his mind in order. There was so much he wanted to say, that he was having problems summarizing everything. Helga was quiet. Probably noticing the engines on Arnold's brain working.
"But I wasn't cool, Helga. I never want for us to end. I love you, and I love us. And for the past two years I tried to understand what I did so I could fix it, and for the last six months I tried to settle with the idea that friends are what we're only gonna be and…I wasn't happy with that!"
Arnold took a seat next to Helga on the grass.
"I already told you, Arnold, you did nothing wrong!" Helga reinforced, but Arnold denied,
"I did Helga, I made you believe that I didn't love you. That I love you only because I was grateful, and not just you, apparently Gerald had the same impression. So, if the two people that know me the most had that impression, the fault is mine!"
"I always liked you, Helga. Even when I didn't understand that. When you said that I think that everyone that barks doesn't bite, it made me realize that you never understood how important to me was that YOU are all barks and not bite. I needed you to be, because if you were, I could feel free to try to be close to you, to try to be your friend and a person that you loved without any guilt or doubt. My faith in people having a good heart was because I knew you've had and I wanted you to be"
"Because I already admired you, because I already thought you were the funniest girl I've ever met, because I already thought you were pretty, because I already liked to spend time with you. You helping rescue my parents, or helping save the neighborhood weren't the reasons why I wanted to date you, they were the proof that I needed, so I could finally ask you to date with me!"
Helga's face was completely red, but Arnold knew his face was probably exactly the same shade as her.
"So what now?" Helga asked after some minutes "What did you want to achieve with this conversation?"
Arnold let a small laugh leave his lips.
"Honestly? I just wanted you to know my feelings for you. The idea of you thinking that you didn't mean anything to me was unbearable!"
"So…that's it then?!" Helga sounded so disappointed that Arnold's heart filled with hope.
"No…" he dared "I also hoped that once you knew the actually extensions of my feelings, you would allowed me a second chance to prove each one of them for you"
Helga smilled.
"What if I say yes?" Helga looked at him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
Arnold's heart was happily leaping through his stomach.
"I would start right now" he challenged her.
"Then…yes!"
Arnold put his hands behind her neck and kissed her. And kissed her, and kissed her….
Thank God they were alone.
Hi Everyone, this is my first fanfic in english! So I'm really sorry for all the mistakes. It's not my native language and I never studied seriously before. Actually this fanfic was kind of a way to train a little.
So, I hope you guys enjoy it. Honestly, ArnoldxHelga was my first ship and I was so happy when I saw the TJM , I just wished we could have seen more about Arnold's feelings too. Reason that inspired me to write this fanfic.
Also, I think Helga you'll be more "cool down"after breaking up with Arnold. She already had put her feelings out to everyone, they dated and they ended, so she just doesn't have anything else to hide, that's why I thought she'll be more relaxed around him.
Well, that's it. Thanks again and bye bye o/