A/N I just had to wait for I'm Her to be finished to publish this so I didn't write anything conflicting, most of this was already done. I'm not that fast a writer, I promise! Go read I'm Her if you haven't though, so good!

Mike POV

The clock ticked closer to 7:00.

I stroked Tracy's hair. She'd been asleep for the past half hour, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.

Her eyes opened. "Mike?"

"I'm sorry. I need to go soon, Trace."

"Go? Why?" Sleep still held a veil over Tracy, her unwell state holding it there.

"Visiting hours end in five minutes."

Tears welled up in Tracy's eyes. "Please don't go."

"I have to, Tracy." I continued to stroke her hair. "I'm really sorry."

"Please don't go. I don't want to be on my own."

I sighed, looking around the ward. Maybe I could ask the staff to let me have a bed next to Tracy. Maybe they'd let me stay with her so I could support her while she was so ill. Maybe...

"Excuse me." I stopped a passing nurse. "I was just wondering, would there be any possibility of me staying tonight please?"

"I'm sorry. We can't have relatives staying past visiting hours."

"But she's not well."

"None of the patients are well. If we let you stay, we have to let everyone stay. I'm sorry."

From what I'd seen today Tracy was probably the most unwell here moment. No one else was being sick like she was, crying like she was, unable to eat like she was. And that wasn't to mention the battles she was facing inside her head.

"Please. I work in a care home, I will be absolutely silent. I don't even need a bed, I just want to be able to hold her, to comfort her tonight, to help her when she's sick. Please."

"I'm sorry. It's just not possible."

I wanted to scream at the nurse, more so when I saw Tracy in tears. I hugged her, anger coursing through me. Nobody here seemed to understand how unwell she was, from the constant questions about wanting a meal, to nurses getting frustrated at her as she began to struggle with blood being taken. She was here for a reason, and she was dangerously unwell from what the doctor had said earlier about her rising liver toxin levels.

I wanted to be with her. I knew she'd settle a lot better with me here. I knew she'd recover better with me here. I knew her body and mind would get the rest they needed with me here.

But there was nothing I could do.

"Can I just stay for a few minutes? Just to calm her down?"

The nurse looked at the clock, sighing. "You've got fifteen minutes."

I looked down at Tracy in my arms. Her tears were still flowing, making tracks down her cheeks. As I pulled her up slightly towards me I could feel every sob, every tear on my shirt, every shaky breath. I placed a hand on her back, rubbing it gently.

"It's ok, Trace. I'll be here tomorrow. And Cam will be here as well to see you." I'd had a message from Cam that she'd landed and was on her way. It had killed me to send a message back to say she couldn't see Tracy until tomorrow.

"I don't feel well, Mike. I don't want to be here."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. You have to stay. You need to get better."

"I'm coming with you." Tracy sat up, going for her drip as she had this morning.

I grabbed her wrist again. "No. We had this conversation earlier. You leave that alone. You need that in to fight the pills."

"I don't want it."

"I know. I know you want to come home. But you're really ill, Tracy. You need to stay here, stay on your drip, and get some sleep. I promise we'll be here tomorrow."

"I don't want to sleep. I'll stay up all night."

"No you won't. Come on, lie down and I'll get you off to sleep. When you wake up I'm sure we'll be nearly here."

I wasn't entirely sure about that one. Tracy was still being sick very regularly, and I doubted her body was going to let her sleep through that. But I had to give her some sort of hope at the moment.

"You promise you'll come tomorrow?"

"Of course I promise. I'll come, and I'll bring Cam. She'll want to give you a really big hug, I'm sure."

"I want to hug her too."

"I know." I gently pushed her down into the pillows. "Well the sooner you get to sleep, the sooner you'll see her, won't you? And if you could ignore the breakfast trolley and sleep through the morning too it'll be even quicker." I began to stroke her hair. "I'll be really proud of you if you can get some sleep, Tracy."

She finally seemed to be relaxing: exhaustion must have been catching up with her. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask. That's all you can do. I'll be really proud if you try."

She closed her eyes. Sleep seemed to be taking her quickly, and I was thankful for that.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I took her hand, giving it a squeeze. "I love you, Tracy."

"Love you too," Tracy mumbled, giving my hand a squeeze back.

I gave her hand another squeeze, gently stroking her hair for a moment as she fell into sleep. Once it was clear she was asleep I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, then picked up my bag. As I passed the nurse she acknowledged me, before I made my way out of the hospital.

I took a moment to breathe.

I couldn't think of a day of my life so far that had been that hard. I'd had difficult days, of course I had, especially working where I did. But even Tracy had never pushed me to the limit she'd pushed me to today.

I sank down onto a bench, tears welling up in my eyes. I'd already cried today, leaving the ward for a few minutes while Tracy was asleep, telling three different nurses to tell Tracy where I was if she woke up so that she wouldn't panic. But I'd had to be quick, had to compose myself before going back.

I didn't have to do that this time.

I wasn't actually sure how long I was there. Tears ran down my cheeks as I put my face in my hands. All the worry of the previous day, not knowing where she was, then the relief at finding her but the worry that I'd found her in a hospital, and then seeing just how unwell she was and hearing about everything going on that I couldn't see. Then all the new worry flowing through me that I'd had to leave her on her own...

I was alerted to someone sitting next to me. "Is there anything I can do?"

A nurse on her break had clearly spotted me. As I took my hands away from my face she gave me a smile.

"I, I don't think so. Thank you, though."

"Did you want to just talk? I actually managed to snag going home early today, so I don't need to leave for another half hour or so."

I sighed. "I just, my daughter's very unwell. I only found out last night and I ran in there and then I found out what was going on and just..." I sighed again. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear all this."

"It's ok. If you need to talk before you head home then I'm here to listen."

I sighed yet again. "She tried to take her own life. I didn't even realise there was anything wrong, and now she can barely even sit up without it hurting her. She's just, I've never seen her like that before. And it's all my fault because I was supposed to be keeping an eye on her and keeping her safe."

"It's not your fault. Mental health is a complex thing. I can't pretend I know what either of you are going through, but I've seen it before and I know she'll really benefit from you being there for her now."

"I'm not going to leave her now. I wanted to stay tonight but they wouldn't let me after hours."

"No, they're fairly strict on my ward too."

"I just love her so much. I just want her to get better and be ok again."

She gave me a smile. "Then she's very lucky to have you as her dad. You'll make sure she gets through this."

I gave a small smile back. Luck didn't come into the equation of parenthood nearly as much for me and Tracy as it did most other people, but maybe the fact she'd landed in my care home rather than one of hundreds of others was where the luck had come in. Lucky or not, I definitely was going to make sure she got through this, whatever it took.

Suddenly I had a thought. "Oh, I've just realised, I said she'd tried to take her own life. I shouldn't have said that: that wasn't mine to tell. Please, don't tell anyone. I'd hate for her to know I told someone I didn't even know what was going on."

"It's ok," the nurse said reassuringly. "I'm bound by confidentiality while I'm here. Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't tell: it's none of my business."

I relaxed, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Thank you."

"It's ok. I know there's a lot to think about at the moment. Don't worry about it. No one needs to even know we spoke."

I took a moment just to sit, just to process. A few more tears escaped.

"All you need to do tonight is look after you. The hospital will look after your daughter for you tonight. Just get something to eat, get some sleep if you can, so you're ready to come back tomorrow. Are you going to be on your own?"

"Her mum's coming back from New York, she should be home in about an hour."

"Just make sure you look after yourselves. I know you're blaming yourself and you're going to be worried sick, I would if one of my children had done the same. But just try the best you can. You can't pour from an empty cup."

I sighed. She was right. I needed to try and look after myself tonight so I could be useful to Tracy tomorrow.

"Do you do hugs? I know some people don't like them."

"I think I could do with one."

The nurse put her arms round me. I hugged her back, a level of calm coming to me. Hugging Tracy today had been calming in ways, knowing that when I was holding her she was safe in my arms, but the whole day had been full of stress and illness. This hug actually gave me a chance to focus on myself for a moment, to give myself the break I desperately needed.

As she let go she gave me a smile. "Are you feeling a bit better?"

I gave her a smile back. "I do actually. Thank you. I wasn't sure how I was going to get home safely in that state."

"It's no problem. I get used to it working here."

"I work in a children's care home. I've gotten used to giving hugs out too. But still, thank you."

She gave me a smile, then looked at her watch. "Did you want me to come with you to the car?"

"I'm not even sure where I left it." I stood up, and she stood with me. "I parked as close as I could, I think I remembered to pay. Everything's a bit of a blur."

"That's understandable." We began to walk towards the car park. "I think I know where you mean though. Did you drive it right up to the entrance?"

"Pretty much."

She led the way round the hospital to the A and E. There was some parking just next to the wall, and I spotted my car.

"Oh there it is. Thank you so much."

"I'm glad I could help. Are you going to be ok getting home?"

"I should be."

She gave me a smile. "Take care. And I really hope she's better soon."

I watched her as she walked into the main car park, then got into my car. I really was thankful that she'd been here, helping me to clear my head ready for the drive home.

I set off back to my house.

It was strange to be back. Only last night I'd been here, frantic with worry that something awful had happened to Tracy. I hadn't been able to sleep at all until the phone had rung. The duvet in a heap on the floor was proof of that.

More tears threatened to rise. I thought of all the places I'd been, all the things I'd done, desperately trying to find her. How I'd sent a text to Gina that I was going home empty handed. The speed I'd run out of here when I knew where she was.

I shook my head. I needed to focus for a moment. Like I'd told the nurse, Cam would be home soon. And I needed to be there to support her after such a long flight and all the worry she was going through. I got out a bag, and began packing things in it for a few nights so I could stay with her as long as she needed.

As I did up the zip my phone buzzed. My heart sank as I read the message.

I don't feel well Mike. I asked the nurses to let you come and they wouldn't. I want you here

Anger and sadness and worry rose in me. I could see that the hospital didn't want people being disturbed at night, but Tracy was so unwell. Maybe if I called them...

They weren't going to let me. They'd made that very clear.

I know, Trace. I'll see you tomorrow, I promise. Please just try and get some sleep, for me, for Cam. I love you x

I put the phone in my bag and went out to the car. I had a key for Cam's flat from when they'd gone on holiday in case anything went wrong, and there wasn't any point in sitting here.

I got in the car and drove to hers.

I got a sense of deja vu turning up at the flat. Both cars were still outside, the flat still empty. I took the key and went inside.

It was deathly quiet.

I looked at my watch. I'd spent so long packing, my head full of worries for Tracy, that Cam would be here in a few minutes.

As I put my bag down in the hall I looked into Tracy's room, a pang in my heart. I didn't want to go in: Tracy was sure to be more comfortable with Cam sorting it for her. But I could see possessions on the floor from Tracy clearly packing in a hurry, I could see the duvet in a heap at the end of the bed. I could see a bottle of alcohol that she must have decided to take as well. And in a little cardboard box I could see a box of pills and all its empty packets.

I closed the door, not able to look anymore.

I headed through to the living room, feeling slightly numb after the day I'd just had. I couldn't wait to have Cam in my arms, for both our benefits.

As I heard the key in the lock I almost jumped out of my seat, then calmed myself. I'd had a whole day to process this, to be with Tracy. I needed to be calm, present, a support.

I had to be here for Cam.