*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
Leonard woke up with a gasp and looked around before his brain caught up, tiredly he let his head hit the wall he had been leaning against. 'Not again.' He bemoaned in his head.
Leonard could see Howard was awake as well. He looked like shit. Neither of them had gotten a good night's sleep since this whole sickness began.
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
*knock, knock, knock*
"Leonard."
And now they couldn't even sleep in peace.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Leonard screamed loudly at the barricaded door. "JUST *hic* shut up." A sob escaped him and his voice lost all the strength it had. 'I can't do this anymore.' He thought as tears began rolling down his cheeks, he removed his patched up glasses and rubbed at his eyes. Howard silently sat down next to him.
How had it all come to this? When it started they had all joked about 'Code Milky Green' and now here they were, in Howard's house, doors and windows barricaded. Leonard and Howard were the only ones not infected.
"Really Leonard? Is that the proper way to react to a friend knocking on your door? Why, if you must know, in the past the rules of hospit-" Leonard couldn't handle it anymore.
"Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup" Leonard rocked back and forth in place, only Howard's hand on his shoulder kept him sane.
"Tsk, tsk." Leonard could hear Sheldon clicking his tongue in disapproval, and for a moment it was all so normal. Maybe things could go back to the way they were before, he hoped for a foolish moment. "Really Leonard? For that, I will eat you slowly." And then reality came crashing down on him.
Leonard felt more than saw Howard tensing next to him. Even through the bushy beard and long hair he could make out the fear and stress on Howard's face. Not that Leonard was doing much better, not even in the Arctic he felt so crummy.
"You know I don't like to nitpick, but is this really your plan Leonard? You will simply barricade yourself and hope for the best? Maybe that's okay for now, but one day you will run out of food and bullets. And then what? Have you thought about that? I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough. You never had the head for seeing the big picture and planning accordingly. But Leonard, that's what I do." And that's the scariest thing Leonard had ever heard.
He could see the effect those words had on Howard as well and Leonard grabbed the other man in a one side hug. Leonard had gotten really good at knowing when Howard was about to have a panic attack. He tried to be strong but it had been months now and Leonard could feel himself starting to break at the seams.
Time was running out.
"Penny? Can you talk to them? Leonard is refusing to see reason." Sheldon was never a patient man.
"Of course Sweetie." Oh nonononononononono. God, why?
"Leonard? Sweetie. You know that Sheldon is right. You and Howard will die screaming." Why her?
Leonard grabbed the strap of his rifle and bit it, hard enough that for a moment he feared he would bite right through it. Howard was now the one holding onto Leonard tightly and trying to comfort him.
He could barely handle Sheldon as it was and now Penny was here as well. She sounded the same but the words she used would make sure he could never have a good night's sleep ever again.
"I know! Maybe we can reach a compromise, how about you open up the door and We'll all come inside and eat your brains?. Doesn't that sound good? It'll be over fast." She sang happily.
No one should sound so cheery when saying those words.
"Well, I tried Moonpie." Penny sounded so much like he remembered in his dreams.
"Only Meemaw may call me Moonpie. But, thank you for trying Penny. It's not your fault that they're being unreasonable." Sheldon sighed, disappointed.
Leonard could almost fool himself into believing that this whole thing was a bad dream. That his best friend and girlfriend were not zombies trying to eat their brains.
"Oh! I know. Perhaps you can attempt to convince them, Koothrappali." Sheldon sounded happy and it made his blood run cold.
Howard tensed up again and Leonard could see tears gather in his friend's eyes. This was torture.
They waited for a long moment with bated breath but no sound came from behind the door. Only the distant groaning of hordes of zombies could be heard.
"Honestly Raj, you really need to overcome this weakness of yours. Just because Penny is present should not mean that you're unable to communicate clearly." Sheldon huffed, annoyed.
Howard laughed unexpectedly but soon the laughter turned into sobs and crying. Leonard pulled his friend fully into his arms. They couldn't afford to break down, they needed to survive and make it out of here.
"Yes, well. Moving on." Sheldon quickly changed the subject. "Leonard, I know why you hesitate to accept our offer to open that door and I want to assure you that all we want is your brains. No one here is going to do something as barbaric as eat your eyes. We're not monsters." He sounded so reasonable.
"Sweetie, I think technically we are." Penny interjected.
"What? Oh, yes, of course, I meant…well, you know what I meant."
"I know Honey." Penny said.
Leonard closed his eyes as he listened to Sheldon. A lifetime ago his friends bickered like this and now they were discussing how to eat him.
Leonard eyed the rifle in his hands. He could end it all, it would be so easy. Their bullets were running out and no one was coming to save them. From the few radio transmissions they still got it was clear that humanity was doomed. City after city fell and a new species rose to the top of the food chain.
"I'll think it over Sheldon." Leonard was surprised by how steady and calm his voice was. Howard looked at him like he was crazy. And maybe he was, but what else were they supposed to do?
Sheldon, even as a zombie, was a force to be reckoned with.
"I'm glad to hear that Leonard. I appreciate the way you're working with me. I know we're all busy so I'm happy to hear you taking feedback so well." Leonard could imagine Sheldon smugly putting his hands behind his back.
"Don't worry Sweetie. I'll make sure you don't suffer." Penny promised and his heart broke for the millionth time.
"Leonard, I really appreciate the way you're working with us. And don't worry, we'll finally put this issue to rest once I bash your head in." Nausea assaulted him and Leonard had to close his eyes and lean his head against the wall. "Now, if you don't mind. Penny and I have another meeting."
"Take care Leonard, Sweetie. We'll be back tomorrow." Penny promised again and Leonard eyed his rifle.
"I'm really proud of you Leonard. I hope you don't mind we leave Kurt here watching over the house. He's not the brightest but he's fast and strong and will keep others from chewing through your doors." Leonard wanted to laugh, of course it couldn't be that easy. Sheldon wouldn't let them escape.
A loud and guttural groan came from beyond the door. If Leonard had to guess, that was Kurt.
"No Kurt, no bashing just yet. Leonard -and to a lesser degree Wolowitz- are reasonable men and will see that we're in the right. Eventually." Sheldon assured the zombie tasked to keep them from running.
He could hear them walk away and he had to wonder if it wouldn't be easier to end it all. A bullet to the head and it would all be over.
But he was afraid, afraid that it won't do the job right away and he'll wake up like one of them. He could always ask Howard…no, he wouldn't be that cruel toward his only remaining friend.
Leonard leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Feeling the weight of the gun in his hand. Maybe it was time to end it all, either he would die or he would end up like one of them.
Or maybe they could escape again. But where?
He needed to make a decision soon. Because he knew.
Sheldon and Penny would be back tomorrow.
Notes:
Got this idea after listening to Jonathan Coulton's 'Re:Your Brains' song