Hey!

You can call me Fawn!

UPDATE JULY 2024

(Hey, y'all! I'm back! And I hate almost everything I have published! Please be patient with me as I go through and edit chapters. Once I'm caught up with editing already posted chapters, I'll start posting new ones. And, boy, Do I have a LOT of chapters!

Also funny to think about since I've started this story: I've had a hysterectomy and a subsequent breakup, a new job, then laid off, and I'm in college again now! And job hunting. Woo!)

END JULY 2024 UPDATE

This story will get chapters when I have free time; there won't be a set schedule.

I work 40+ hours a week and also work on other creative projects offline.

This story will be an experiment for me to develop my writing style and get a good feel for the action, emotions, dialogue, and natural flow of things. I've chosen AOT because I recently watched it and fell in love with certain characters. (who doesn't love a broody man... sigh.)

Finding the story I was looking for was impossible, so I decided to write it myself.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

1

Cadet Training

Year 850

The ODM gear attached to her whined as it was pushed to the limit. The girl barely anchored herself to a tree branch before releasing her wires, whipping herself forward to the next branch. Her surroundings were a green blur. Sweat lined her brow, and her chest softly heaved from the exertion.

38. She had only hit 38 of these dummies. Each slice she made to the back of their necks was made with cold precision. There was "no space to mess up in the field," Cadets were told. The training was treated like real life. Some had died due to the intensity. She wouldn't be one of them.

"Focus!" The woman grumbled to herself.

Quickly, she analyzed the different paths she could take. What would get her to the Titan Dummy the quickest? She barely had to think about it. Within seconds, her anchors shot out from her gear and into a tree branch behind the dummy's left shoulder. Wires pulled her closer, and at the last second, she shot out an anchor to a branch high above its head. Reaching enough height, the woman released her anchors, drawing them back into her gear. She was at the mercy of gravity now. With a small smile on her face, she began to freefall. Her blades were angled just so as to slice the back of the Titan's neck as she fell.

Her blades sliced the exact depth and width needed for a perfect kill.

She let herself land on a lower branch for a split second to admire her work. "39!" she announced and briskly nodded her head.

Wasting no time, she flicked her ODM gear control and soared through the forest. The feeling of flying while planning how to make the perfect kill was a lethal dance to her. She continued navigating through the forest, hunting and mock-killing any Titan dummy she crossed. She didn't bother to keep track of the time, letting herself focus only on her skills. The only indication she had been going for a while was the ache starting to grip her muscles.

Eventually, a horn blasted through the air, signaling the end of training.

She had a total of 43 kills today, better than her last quarter's average. A corner of her mouth flicked up; she was pleased that she was improving daily and was close to meeting her goals.

She needed to get 50 Titan dummy kills, one of the qualifying scores needed to be considered for the title of top 10 graduates in the 104th Southern Division.

The woman hurriedly made her way through the forest back to the ODM training base. Cadets were to report to the Head Commandant, Keith Sadies, and inform him of their kill scores. She was standing in line within 6 minutes. It was a small line, but it gave her enough time to take inventory of herself and her surroundings.

Head Commandant Sadies gave Cadets 10 minutes to be in front of him from the moment he blew the horn, with no exceptions. He was ruthless and sometimes cruel. Yet he gave credit to his Cadets where credit was due. She liked to think she understood him a bit; his job was to produce military personnel who would not crack under pressure. Who could be ruthless and cruel as needed. Niciety had to be scarce. One had to sacrifice many things for the benefit of humanity's future.

Her body was sore, and her breath was still slightly labored. It was nothing compared to where she used to be. Three years of intensive training had seriously improved her stamina. A chill ran over her, sweat cooling from her stillness. The rough fabric of her uniform clung to her skin, drenched with sweat from hours of nonstop training. It was low quality since it was often replaced due to eventual tears from fighting. The result was a cold sweat purgatory.

The line moved forward. Shortly, she was in front of her Commandant, ready to announce her score. He held a metal clipboard in his hand, multiple papers on top of it. His face was tight, signaling her to be prompt. Even after years of knowing him, she couldn't help but be intimidated.

Her right hand curled into a fist and rested atop her heart, left hand behind her back, and feet straight ahead, the salute.

"Name and score." he requested with a curt tone.

"Strause, Maria; kill score of 43, Commander." She said, looking straight ahead. He found her name and wrote down the score.

He glanced at her. "Continue improving. You are dismissed."

She nodded while giving a firm "Yes, Commander!" and walked away.

In the past, she would head straight for the showers and then mess hall for dinner. This last quarter, she desperately wanted to improve her skills. Her speed was above average, and her on-target shots were accurate. She was more interested in expanding her focus, which she had previously neglected.

Maria grimaced. A wave of regret washed over her. If only she had put more effort in sooner, she wouldn't be in this position. She wouldn't feel like she was falling behind her peers. Maybe she wouldn't feel as isolated as she had recently. All of her free time had been devoted to improving herself. Rarely did she allow time to hang out with the Cadets who had become her closest friends. Guilt briefly held her heart at the thought.

She eventually reached the training ground area she wanted to use. It was a simple layout. It held a few randomly placed tall trees and a long log that was suspended with metal cables between two tall posts. It swayed in the wind, hanging a few meters above the ground. Wing Chun dummies were also scattered throughout the area. All of these were the perfect tools to help hone her focus. Briefly glancing at her watch, Maria noted that she could spend about an hour here before the Mess Hall would be completely stripped of food. She began her personal training.

She sat on the ground and began the task of centering herself. Maria willed her body to be still and controlled her breathing. She let her mind quiet, attempting to focus only on the present. Once she felt sufficiently calm, it was time for awareness. Her insides were first. Methodically, she cataloged each ache she felt. Her joints were stiff from overuse. The calluses on her hands seemed larger. Her heart rate was moving at an even pace. She was thirsty. Her sweaty clothing had long been cold.

Maria's eyebrow twitched. 'Move on.'

Outside awareness. The sounds of birds singing were ever-present. The scent of freshly scythed grass filled her nostrils. She could feel the evening sunlight on her skin, its touch growing fainter as the minutes passed. The wind hit her clothing, sending a slight chill down her skin. She stayed like this for a little while longer, soaking in any information she could gather from the environment around her.

Letting out a sigh, the woman opened her eyes.

'That was so relaxing...' she thought.

She had planned on going hard on herself with training this time, but she was just so tired. It was hard to bring herself to stand up from the ground.

A loud groan left her mouth, and she dragged her hands down her face. She had to keep pushing herself, no matter what. Weak was not something she ever wanted to call herself.

With resolution, she huffed and pushed herself to stand.

Maria eyed the swinging log.

"Maybe not you, though," she muttered.

The last thing she was interested in doing was falling a few meters due to a stupid, tiredly made decision. She focused in on a Wing Chun dummy and walked over to it.

"This works too, I guess." she mused out loud.

With practiced fluidity, she got into her stance and began striking her target. Using ODM gear and this fighting style felt the same to her, like a familiar dance. Something about these two actions was just similar enough to translate well. Maybe it was the intense muscle control used in both of them? Or the trance-like focus that could occur while flexing each discipline? Maria briefly wondered if everyone shared her thoughts about flying with ODM gear.

It would have been better to fight with a real person. Unfortunately for Maria, not many people used hand-to-hand combat. Humanity's war was with the Titans, not each other. Being skilled at fighting another human was low on the list of things to exceed at for most soldiers. But to her, it was worth knowing. She wanted to always be able to defend herself and the ones she loved. As the minutes dragged on, her bones started to ache. Bruises were already forming from the force she was letting out onto the wooden dummy. Her forearms and shins were always littered with bruises after practice anyway. What were a few dozen more? She did not stop. Arms and legs pelted the dummy with quick punches and fast kicks.

The sound of her limbs hitting solid wood sent out a painful noise that echoed throughout the training ground.

"thunk. thunk. thunk. thunk." Wood met skin and bone.

Sweat bit at her brows, stinging her eyes, but she continued. There was still so much inside of her that needed to be let out.

"thunk. thunk. -"

Abruptly, the sound of a foot crunching a dead stick echoed through her head while she was mid-high-kick. Maria let herself finish the move, landing facing the direction she thought the noise had come from. She scanned the area but saw nothing. It was probably another Cadet walking to or from something. Or a stray dog, possibly a cat. She was too wound up due to the end of the quarter being so soon. Maria thought she had relaxed a bit but had proven herself wrong. She was still as high-stung as ever.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at herself.

Glancing down at her watch, she saw that it had been a little under an hour since she had gotten to the training field. The last bits of sunlight were disappearing behind the massive wall that surrounded her city. Deciding that she had spent enough time beating herself up, she left. Maria needed to eat and take a shower before she could crawl into the bowels of her bed.

As she had guessed, the Mess Hall was almost empty when she arrived. There was still warm food available, but not much of a selection.

'Not like there's much of a selection normally,' Maria thought. She was cranky. And hungry.

She took what she could find: two bowls of shepherd's pie, two apples, and a large bowl of steamed mustard greens. Setting her food on the nearest table, she walked away to gather some hot water. The tired woman figured it would help calm her further. Fatigue was starting to set in; all she wanted to do was shower the grime of the day away and go to sleep. But no, she had to feed herself. Just so she could do it all again tomorrow.

She returned to her table and finally sat down. With no preamble, she dug in. It wasn't until she was on her second shepherd's pie that she realized how hungry she had let herself get.

'I should bring more snacks with me for my after-training, training,' she concluded.

The woman was so wrapped up in scarfing down her food that she didn't notice someone was in front of her till their shadow hit the table.

'So much for self-awareness training,' she couldn't help but think, her mouth slightly downturned.

The person in front of her spoke, "So, another night training late? You're gonna wear yourself out before you even officially join the Military if you don't give yourself a break".

Maria's heart warmed from the voice. She didn't have to look up to confirm that it was one of her close friends, Connie. But she did anyway, flashing him a tired smile. He liked to check in on her sometimes before bed; he knew she had been so busy training lately. She barely had time to hang out with any of the other Cadets. The appreciation she felt for her friend grew. She missed spending more time with all of them.

"Yep. I have to get better if I wanna place in the top 10 with you. You know that means I have to devote all my free time to training..." she trailed off and bit into her 1st apple.

"Yeah, I know. I miss you, is all. We miss you." he admitted to her.

Maria let out a soft laugh. "I miss you guys too."

He considered his thoughts. "Do you even want to join the MP Regiment?"

She took a bite of her apple and thought as she chewed. Did she? Or was it more about proving something to herself and the people around her? Something to show her value to humanity?

"I don't know, but I'd like to have that option." was the only answer she was willing to give. She was too tired to get into it with her friend.

Connie looked at her as if he knew that wasn't the complete answer. "I respect that. You can make it happen; you have the ability." He grinned and then glanced at his watch.

"Well, it's getting late. Try to get some rest, and maybe I'll see you tomorrow!" he walked away while waving.

"Bye!" she called out to his retreating form.

Maria finished the rest of her apple, pocketing the other one, and placed her dirty dish in the bin. It was finally time to shower.

Sluggishly, she crawled into her bed and let the sheets fall around her. Damp hair clung to the back of her neck. She was too tired to bother with braiding it. The shower had cleansed her skin, but the ache in her bones remained. So did the deep ache within her heart. Connie was right; Non-stop training was taking a toll on her. But she only had to keep this up for a couple more weeks. Till the end of the quarter. The end of her time as a Cadet. Then, it would be time to decide. Maria only hoped she would know her heart's answer by the time it was required.

Too tired to continue her line of thought, her eyes closed. Instantaneously, her mind was consumed by a comfortable darkness. Two more breaths and she was falling into a deep sleep.

Well, that was thrilling!

A soft intro to our main character, Maria Strause.

Feeling a mix of... loyalty. respect. honor. duty. determination.

Maria will need to hold onto these things if she wants to survive.

This is Titan territory, after all.

~Fawn