Author's note:
TRIGGER WARNING: suicide
I decided to try out a one shot in between writing my main fanfic. It's kind of getting to my head that I went a little too far on some scenes/plot. Now I'm reevaluating whether to change the story to eliminate it all together instead of continuing writing new chapters or what-not. Anyways, sorry if you read this babble and enjoy the fic ?
…
I don't deserve to be here…
The sole Uchiha survivor sat alone in his living room with his arms wrapped around his legs and chin on his knees, gazing into the fireplace that was not too far from him. The glow was so mesmerizing, the swirls of red and orange and yellow lit up not only the room but his dark troubled eyes. He watched how the embers danced in the air away from the flames, as if reaching for something further beyond their short existence, before fading away and ceasing to be. A solemn smile graced his lips as he reached out to catch one of the falling sparks in his hand, burning him ever so briefly until turned to ash; he empathized with them.
Six years have passed since he left Konoha, and two years since his return. How his heart ached to go back in time and prevent himself from ever leaving in the first place. Fueled by immense rage, he not only committed various crimes that earned him a place in every shinobi's bingo book, but he hurt the people who matter most to him. Despite their open arms and forgiveness, he knew deep down that things would never be the same. There would always be a sadness in their eyes, a reminder of what he had done, and nothing he does or says could erase that. If only he could change the pivotal mistake that set the course of his life, he might have spared himself this desolate feeling that he now carries with him every waking hour.
after everything I've done…
The heat in the room would be a little too warm for an undamaged individual, but for Sasuke the warmth enveloped him in a friendly embrace that he longed to hold dear. This was a feeling he wouldn't - or couldn't- let go. Outside these walls, beyond the comfort of the fire, was a frigid and unforgiving reality. When he ventured among the villagers, it was hard to overlook the disdain behind their indifferent eyes, and even more the whispers that carried in the wind, traitor. It was as if all his efforts over the last two years to build a good rapport were in vain; even risking his life for the village did nothing to earn their favor.
I should just disappear…
The fans of the flames were beginning to blur as his surroundings appeared to be cast in a haze. The young man refused to rub his eyes as he let the tears that had welled in his eyes slide down his face, dripping off his chin. He was a proud Uchiha; he never let anyone see him as anything else, but in the confines of his home, he was free to drop his walls. There were many nights where he cried himself to sleep as the memories of his brother plagued him. If he hadn't been so brash, so hot headed, he could have seen all the signs that were now so obvious to him. He wouldn't be alone. And his friends, he had to constantly remind himself that they had forgiven him and were simply busy with their own lives, but it left almost no opportunity to rebuild the bonds he foolishly broke. And he wouldn't be alone.
What's the use in trying anymore?
As the fire crackled, it sent embers and smoke into the air, and though the embers continued their cessation, the smoke lingered around the despondent man. He turned his head away from the fire towards the window nearby, now resting his cheek on his knees. The window had its curtains pulled which gave him an unadulterated view of the night sky through his haze. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at the sight before him: the full moon. Radiance peered through the glass window pane, landing on his face, caressing his cheeks. He felt himself getting lulled to sleep by his new found friends loving-moon and friendly-fire. At this moment, nothing else seemed to matter to the sole Uchiha survivor. The pain would be over soon…
...
After a long day of travel, Hinata and her squad finally reached the front gates of the village, exhausted but content. Neither of them wanted to camp out for night only to travel a short distance the next day; they were all eager to go home to the comforts of their homes, to their loved ones. With one wave towards the guard, the three man squad went their separate ways after establishing that her fellow teammate would be the one to summarize their mission to the Hokage, freeing her up from now until her next mission.
It was eerie being out in the streets of Konoha in the middle of the night. All the shops and houses were dark, its inhabitants either gone or asleep. Nothing stirred to signify the presence of life besides the echoing of her sandals on the gravel floor. But despite the vacantness of the streets, she found comfort in her solitude. After an entire week of being in close proximity to her teammates, the serene woman needed space for herself and was happy to have it now. She stifled a yawn as she continued her walk. Sleep was the first thing she was going to do when she arrives at her home.
Ever since the war, the world has maintained its peaceful atmosphere. The missions shinobi did these days no longer involved espionage or fighting to get the upper hand on another nation. Instead, they were missions like eliminating a non-nation-affiliated gang, protecting the feudal lords from suspected attacks- things of that nature. She had heard of more dangerous missions that she was never privy to because each time its existence was hinted, it was immediately snatched up by Sasuke before anyone else could catch whiff. And she isn't one to complain, even though deep down she hopes to one day prove herself by completing one.
A sadness took over her heart at the thought of Sasuke. Something was off about him since he returned to the village all those years ago. He would never let anyone approach him as he would quickly disappear into the shadows until he was out of sight. Though she figured it must be because of his reclusive nature. Why else would he constantly take any opportunity to leave the village on solo missions? Perhaps living in a village after all those years abroad felt surreal to him and it was just taking him a while to adjust to his new home.
But it's been two years…
To be fair, the village was not exactly welcoming to Sasuke when he was allowed to walk as a free man as a fellow citizen of Konoha. Word had spread of his assassination of Danzo, the man some hailed as a hero as the truth behind the man was concealed due to its sensitive classified information. And it was hard for others to accept him back after defecting to join Orochimaru, the man responsible for killing the beloved Third Hokage. But during those first two months, the villagers slowly grew to accept him as a proud shinobi of the leaf. And though they weren't overly ecstatic around him, the hostility grew to passive indifference, something she, a wallflower, prefers.
Her steps turned onto the barely lit street where her house stood as she continued walking. She had moved out a few months ago as she sought her independence away from the overbearingness of her clan. It wasn't intentional of her to get a home that was towards the back of the village, the opposite side of the Hyuga compound, it just so happened to be a newly constructed district where young adults like herself could start a new life. Even Sasuke Uchiha sought residence there. It didn't surprise her. The Uchiha district, though some of it was still standing after the Akatsuki attack, probably brought back too many memories for a recovering Sasuke.
Finally she neared her home, but she felt compelled to keep walking, her legs must not be tired enough to go straight to bed. She took the time to admire how peaceful the district looked at night. All the houses on the street resembled all the other buildings of the village, peaceful and quiet. All but one.
Sasuke's…
As she walked past, her eyes got sight of something that made her stop in her tracks. There was a tiny sliver of smoke coming out of the crack of his front door. She slowly approached it, unsure if Sasuke would be welcoming of a late night disturbance if nothing was amiss, but her eyes also noticed the glow of a fire through his front window surrounded by a haze…
Byakugan!
Hinata immediately kicked down Sasuke's door, jumping over towels that were stuffed against the gap of the door, as she quickly pieced together what was happening. Dread was taking over as she ran towards Sasuke who was slumped over on the floor in front of the fireplace, barely any sign of life. Summoning enough chakra, she body flickered them both outside, away from all the carbon monoxide and smoke he was trapped in. Once outside, she quickly laid him down on his back and began giving him CPR, using the first aid skills every shinobi knew to help save a comrade in battle. Or in this case…
"Sasuke! Wake up!" Tears were dripping down her face onto his as she gave him rescue breaths in between her chakra induced compressions. A wave of relief spread through her core at the sound of Sasuke coughing and breathing on his own as Hinata halted her compressions. Before he had time to process what had happened, Hinata buried her head crying into his beating chest.
"Hinata?"
"I thought I lost you, Sasuke…" Hinata sobbed as she slowly regained her composure. She wiped away her tears, drying her face as she looked down at Sasuke, who stared at her confusingly.
"Why did you intervene?" was all Sasuke could ask, not breaking his stare. He was an outcast, a traitor, damaged beyond repair. So why is it that she intervened and saved his meaningless life? Why did she even care what happened to him?
The question seemed to catch her off guard, but her eyes did not leave his. It was the same look all the other villagers had, such indifference. Was it not? There was a hint of something in them, but he couldn't name it. Horror? Disgust?
"Your life has value to me, Sasuke…" and just like that, tears started squeezing their escape from his eyes. Staring back at him weren't eyes of indifference, or disdain. They never were. They were eyes of compassion and kindness. They were eyes that cried for him because she cared for him. Had he been blinded by his guilt and regrets that he only saw what he thought he should see? What he thought he deserved? She let her tears fall off her chin, landing softly on his hands that he now noticed were cupped into hers. Giving them a squeeze, she smiled. "You are my comrade. My friend."
...
Author's note:
This was kind of left field for me. I hope its good enough :x Kind of a touchy subject, but, hey, my mind went there.